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S04.E01: Pardon Your French

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Captain Sandy embarks on another season in the Mediterranean out of the world famous yachting hub, the French Riviera. Hannah returns as chief stew determined to put her head down, focus on her work and her relationship with Captain Sandy. After enduring heartbreak, Joao returns with a promotion as Bosun hoping to prove to Captain Sandy he can lead a deck team that includes his best friend and partner-in-crime, Colin. Cordon Bleu trained chef Mila takes control of the galley, but immediately falls ill on day one, forcing the crew to rally and help get the boat in shape in time for the first charter. When the first guests arrive and chef Mila, who is a department of one, is still battling illness, Sandy and the crew wonder if she’ll be able to perform her most basic duties.

Airs June 3, 2019.

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Since WHEN is Colin, of all people, Joao's 'best friend and partner in crime '? I think Joao was on the scene when Ross from BD was arrested in Florida. Colin would have been tucked up in bed at his parent's house. The same ones that visited him on charter last season. While he was pining for Brooke, Joao's girlfriend. I really doubt Joao and Colin are besties and hopefully we aren't going to need a fake friendship SL. 

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Colin also called out Joao’s problematic behavior with women on twitter when last season was airing which resulted in the most WTF ever tweet from Sandy which after a fairly mild tweet by Colin Sandy retweeted telling him he was being way too mean and what if Joao committed suicide. It was so out of left field and is quoted on one of the threads here that made me double down on my hatred of Sandy!

Edited by biakbiak
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Ugh Hannah is back?  After last season’s 36 hr “anxiety attack” and her general condescension and bitchiness, I had enough of her to last 10 lifetimes. 

I’m not saying anxiety is a fake illness but Hannah’s anxiety was beyond over the top. She just wanted attention. I don’t blame Sandy for exploding when she took off for 5 hrs after promising she’d be back in one. The least she could have done was radio her stews to let them know. At least they got to enjoy 5 hours without having to watch Hannah pretend to work. Hannah is the type who would throw her best friend in front of a speeding train. 

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Hi there!  Floating by in an intertube for one.

I'm looking forward to seeing Joao. He said publicly, he was embarrassed for his behavior and realized he had to change.  I'd like to see if he was actually sincere in his effort to be a better person.

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Where is everyone? It’s too quiet in here. The chef barfing her way thru her first day does not bode well. 

Colin is so adorable. I hope he gets lucky with a nice girl this season. 

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You are wrong Captain Sandy.

There is NEVER a disturbing time to have tacos. 

You can gripe about store bought taco shells vs. homemade, but not Tacos, in and of themselves. 

tacos GIF
 

Not liking Chef Barfy.

Pleased at Hannah and Joao being civil to each other. 

Pleased with the stews. Girl power!  

Not sure about all boys who aren't Colin.  I don't have instant dislike.  That's a plus!

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I'm not liking Chef Barfy.

Time will tell if Joao has really changed.

The rest of the new crew looks entertaining.

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Yeah - not completely on board with the chef - she seems to have a bit of a "holier than thou" attitude (shades of Chef Leon), and also, for a Cordon Bleu trained chef, doesn't seem to know the first thing about a kitchen (putting steaks in a microwave to keep them warm???  WTF??).

I also don't understand serving tacos and enchiladas as a first course, to be followed by steaks?  Just doesn't seem like a good menu.  

Where is Adrian or Ben when you need them??  

So far, I like the interior crew, but I'm not too sure about the deck crew.  Jack (?) - the guy from Liverpool doesn't seem to like to work too hard.  Travis seems like too much of a ladies' man, just looking to get laid, or something.  Of course, I am loving Colin, whom I adored last season!!  Let's see how Joao handles being in charge of what could turn into a couple of asshats for deck crew.

And, I'm still not loving Captain Sandy.  

Did the Sirocco undergo a renovation?  The interiors looks much different from what I remember.

Looking forward to the geography porn - love the South of France!!  

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I enjoyed CAPTAIN Sandy laying down the law.  She's been much too soft in the past.

Like the first day at school when the teacher tries to scare everybody.

She should also tell them "I don't care if you hook up, but if it affects your job you're outta here."

Microwave steaks?  Wouldn't they turn to rubber?  Never tried it.

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Just because she is Cordon Bleu trained does not mean she graduated. Maybe the person who wrote the CV for the stew last year, who couldn't even make coffee, wrote the chef's CV for her.  Could not get over her microwaving the steaks.  If I had enchiladas for an appetizer, I would be too full to eat the rubber steak. I'm all in for tacos any time. However, those microwaved nachos is how I make a snack for just my self, and I had to google how to even spell Cordon Bleu.  

Lastly it sounds like the chef is homophobic, according to previews. So I'm definitely out on ever liking her.

6 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

Wonder if Mila's resume was "beefed up" by the same person who did Kasey's resume last season?  

Great minds think alike. See my comment above.

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8 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

Wonder if Mila's resume was "beefed up" by the same person who did Kasey's resume last season?  

Thinking the same, lied on her resume. She seems completely out of her element. That food looked like shit. I love tacos but if I'm on a chartered yacht in the French Riviera , some shitty Mexican fiesta with microwaved steak is not going to cut it. 

11 minutes ago, Lady of nod said:

i like Hannah I know, I'm a party of one. 

Part of two, I like her as well. 

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I enjoyed the episode and look forward to the season so far.

I'm giving Barfy chef a side eye.  Charter guests don't pay that kind of money to get that kind of food.

We'll see if Joao has changed his ways.  Those two new deck hands are kind of creepy.

Interior newbies seem more interesting.  We'll see.

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42 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

So far, I like the interior crew, but I'm not too sure about the deck crew.  Jack (?) - the guy from Liverpool doesn't seem to like to work too hard.  Travis seems like too much of a ladies' man, just looking to get laid, or something.  Of course, I am loving Colin, whom I adored last season!!  Let's see how Joao handles being in charge of what could turn into a couple of asshats for deck crew.

I was doing something else with this on in the background, so I’ll have to watch again, but I missed Liverpool guy’s intro and half the time when he was talking I did not have a clue what he was saying.  I’m usually pretty good with accents but he was a mystery.

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Sorry but the tacos looked cheap.  I hate those hard shells that shatter to pieces at first bite.  Soft shell tacos FTW.

So glad Colin is back! Even those embarrassing raps of his are somehow adorable.

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Hard shell tacos can be made really tasty and to not be so brittle, being on a ship making hard shells from scratch isn’t really viable. But the steak thing? Just wow. Might just want to refire them. Like any chef/cook would do. Sad first episode for Mila. 

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Mila's culinary education consisted of the preeminent yacht chef Raquel Dakota teaching her how to microwave Sam's Club frozen chicken cordon bleu.  Nothing she's put out looks any good, even the burgers.  Ranch and foie gras?  Was that some left over Hidden Valley Ranch promotion from Top Chef?  Even the salads looked straight up Sierra Storms level of messy.

So far France looks pretty, but I still think I'd prefer the Croatia side of the Med--it looked less crowded.  But I'm not a "see and be seen" kind of gal.

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Hannah always makes me miss Kate. 

Barfy Chef- yikes! I think she is confused about which Bravo show she is on. Hidden Valley Ranch and Taco Bell-inspired eats would be totally appropriate for Stassi and the witches of WeHo. Also, she seems to keep weirdly smelling the food- she held up both the raw steaks and the ranch and took deep whiffs. Aren’t these brand new provisions? Why does she need to smell them so intensely?

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Even I can make better nachos and tacos and salads than Chef Barfy, and I consider cooking to be a complete chore. You've got to be kidding me. Was she trained at an online chef school? Major side eye at her credentials. Reminds me of my former boss who insisted on putting her "MS" that she got from some shady online for-profit school after her name on everything. And she talked a big game, but failed to deliver and didn't even last 2 years as our CEO. Almost as annoying as the basic tacos is the way she wears her hat. Thank u, next. 

No but seriously though, those tacos are cringey. Like, you might as well just serve them Taco Bell. 

She probably got food poisoning from her own damn food. Licking her fingers after poking the microwaved steak? Fucking gross. Plus her walkie talkie I'm pretty sure hasn't been sanitized and then after putting that down she goes back to handling the taco shells. 

Maybe Mila should have spent some time studying Mexican food instead of posing in front of the Eiffel Tower for her CV. 

Edited by MVFrostsMyPie
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Nachos are disgusting?  Maybe not gourmet enough but disgusting?

Besides whether she serves low-class food or food which is incongruent for the venue, another concern would be the big hair.  Maybe tie up the hair, wear hairnet or something?

Kiwi girl seems oversexed or at least doesn't mind letting the others know how liberal her parents were.

Of course all the guys are randy.

"As long as it doesn't affect your work" is pretty much a green light for them to fraternize, which is a polite way of saying hooking up.

This is after all a TV show, not a real ship operation.  Bravo obviously tries to cast with the greatest potential conflict and drama in mind.

Get them liquored up in the first port fo call and wait for fireworks.

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I'm actually surprised they can get taco shells, tortilla chips and salsa in France.

Sure she could use some fresh French cheese but would you bother to do that for nachos?

In any even, the enchiladas and tacos are almost enough for meals, as others have said.  Maybe if she made starter portions, like mini tacos and a couple of enchiladas sliced up it would make more sense.

But the guests did say Mexican food on their preference sheet.

I think I may have tried home made salsa once or twice, never tried making it myself.  I'm fine with buying it at the store.

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Lizzing - Croatia is actually on the Adriatic. The South of France, especially the Côte d'Azur (between Cassis and Menton) during high season, is crowded to say the least. Still beautiful though. I have no idea why Croatia was featured on a show called Below Deck Med, but it was breath-taking.

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14 hours ago, njbchlover said:

Seriously - and, yet, it seemed like she ordered tons of fresh vegetables in her provision order, which was humongous!  But she was using canned corn (blech!) and bottled salad dressing on the burgers.  

Wonder if Mila's resume was "beefed up" by the same person who did Kasey's resume last season?  

It is day 1 and this chick is using jar salsa, leftover ranch dressing, and hard shell tacos. Bottled ranch dressing that she had to smell to see if it was good, which means it was from the last charter crew. She didn't even have the sense to buy frozen corn on the cob to char or put avocado on the tacos. They put avocado on everything to upsell basic food. Pico de gallo is cartoonishly easy to make; it's chopped tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, cilantro, lime juice, and salt.

Mila combines all of Matt's imagination, Leon's complete lack of give a shit, and all of Rocky's skills and training, which turns out to be like having a regular person be your yacht chef. The only chef-y thing she did was put foie gras on the burger and it looked like she hammered that too.

I barely believe Mila has eaten a cordon bleu let alone studied at the Cordon Bleu.

Mila is Sandy's karma for every bit of grief she gave Hannah over Kasey. 

I was interested when one of the stews said she used to work on Phoenix 2, which is an honest to goodness luxury super yacht that charters for more than $1 million a week.

https://www.yachtcharterfleet.com/luxury-charter-yacht-24343/phoenix-2-photos.htm

Edited by HunterHunted
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7 hours ago, howiveaddict said:

Just because she is Cordon Bleu trained does not mean she graduated.

Very good point.

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Hannah looks tacky when production shows her off smoking. I'm sure charter guests love it when the chief stew smells like a stubbed out cigarette butt.

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More than her crappy food, I was appalled that she was preparing food while recovering from a stomach ailment. Did she have a virus or food poisoning?  If it were a virus she risked  spreading it to everyone on that boat. I wanted to scream did you wash your hands throughly?  My guess is that she served  heavy tacos, enchiladas and nachos as a starter course hoping that no one would eat the steaks. Maybe she was just so sick this is all that she could come up with. Although looking at all that heavy cheesy food make me queasy and I don't have a stomach virus. 

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Youse guys have none of that savor fair.

The chef is just featuring her unique Siberian cuisine.

I bet none of youse guys ever had reindeer tacos!

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5 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

It is day 1 and this chick is using jar salsa, leftover ranch dressing, and hard shell tacos. Bottled ranch dressing that she had to smell to see if it was good, which means it was from the last charter crew. She didn't even have the sense to buy frozen corn on the cob to char or put avocado on the tacos. They put avocado on everything to upsell basic food. Pico de gallo is cartoonishly easy to make; it's chopped tomatoes, onions, jalapenos, cilantro, lime juice, and salt.

Mila combines all of Matt's imagination, Leon's complete lack of give a shit, and all of Rocky's skills and training, which turns out to be like having a regular person be your yacht chef. The only chef-y thing she did was put foie gras on the burger and it looked like she hammered that too.

I barely believe Mila has eaten a cordon bleu let alone studied the Cordon Bleu.

Mila is Sandy's karma for every bit of grief she gave Hannah over Kasey. 

I was interested when one of the stews said she used to work on Phoenix 2, which is an honest to goodness luxury super yacht that charters for more than $1 million a week.

https://www.yachtcharterfleet.com/luxury-charter-yacht-24343/phoenix-2-photos.htm

No - she also wears a chef's coat, unlike some previous chefs!  😂

Edited by njbchlover
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1 hour ago, Mr. Minor said:

Hannah looks tacky when production shows her off smoking. I'm sure charter guests love it when the chief stew smells like a stubbed out cigarette butt.

Did they show her smoking last night (I usually email while I'm watching this)?  I totally agree and it smells horrible, but she has quit and I thought it was before the season (she talked about it on social media platforms) but I could've gotten the timing wrong.  I mostly noticed because I quit a year ago after 21 years and those things resonate with me.

I have a BA from a liberal arts college (vs. culinary school) and can barely turn my oven on and I can cook better than Mila.  Bring back Ben!  He's arrogant but amusing.  

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52 minutes ago, 65mickey said:

More than her crappy food, I was appalled that she was preparing food while recovering from a stomach ailment. Did she have a virus or food poisoning?  If it were a virus she risked  spreading it to everyone on that boat. I wanted to scream did you wash your hands throughly?  My guess is that she served  heavy tacos, enchiladas and nachos as a starter course hoping that no one would eat the steaks. Maybe she was just so sick this is all that she could come up with. Although looking at all that heavy cheesy food make me queasy and I don't have a stomach virus. 

I thought the same thing!!  Like, why isn't she wearing gloves or something?  I know a lot of chefs don't like to wear gloves, but in this situation, I would think it's warranted.

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7 minutes ago, njbchlover said:

I know a lot of chefs don't like to wear gloves, but in this situation, I would think it's warranted.

Spoiler

This is speculation. Chef Ben was pretty active on Twitter about her last night (and I don't notice him tweeting a lot about the show-mostly self promotion).  Watching the "This season on..." I noticed there are a lot of shots of food and not a lot of the chef, minus her homophobic diatribe and inability to cook pancakes.  Can I hope that she follows in the footsteps of "Chef" Leon and departs early, to be replaced by Ben.  Or Adam.  Or Matt.  Or anyone.

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Who puts CAN CORN on nachos???????  

I think she confused with jalapeños.....but, that is just me! 

When you have gastro it is illegal to cook. 

Captain Sandy breaking all the laws....already! 

I am here for Mila...though.   I love a good shit show.

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They definitely seem to have a more competent crew this time and I’m thrilled Colin is back.  The chef though...  I’m a regular home cook and I can do much better.  I had so many WTF moments with her.  I am so glad Hannah refused to serve the “nachos”. I can’t with the microwaved steak.  She’s a mess.  She appears to be a horrible person too.   I hope Adam comes back, I liked him more last season.

I absolutely could not remember Matt 😂, my god that guy was bland.

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I can't wait to see the episode where one of the stews actually breaks down because she is surrounded by "alcoholics" !! A young lady who finally has had enough of drunken behavior. Is it the crew or charter guests ?? Probably both.

Interior crew, from first impression seems very competent. 

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Just wanted to interject that I thought Hannah calling Capt Sandy just Sandy and Sandy not correcting her is very telling.  Hannah should be the one setting the tone and following orders not negating them.

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Another thing about the chef - We all know how much our pantry and other cupboards and fridge can hold.  We probably all think of different ways to use the food items we buy.  It is very telling that she had no idea of the storage and menu planning.

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12 minutes ago, VAMom said:

I absolutely could not remember Matt 😂, my god that guy was bland.

I wanted to call him Doug and it really took me a minute to fine the correct name.

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Ok, I consider myself a good cook for my husband and I. I seriously cringed when I saw the tacos and nachos... I know the preference sheet said Mexican but I am sure they were thinking something a bit more out of the box then literally out of the box...😂

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What the hell? They left the guests alone to buy milk? Is that really a two-person job?

Those nachos were DISGUSTING! I am offended as a junk food connoisseur. There is no way that woman is chef of any substantial merit. I don’t know anything about “Cordon Bleu”, but even I, the worst cook I know, know that you NEVER microwave a steak! She’s a complete fraud.

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So far I absolutely LOVE Anastasia. She’s intelligent, great work ethic, very can-do without complaining, good personality.  I’m nervous because usually when I like a reality tv person this much in the beginning they end up behaving horribly later and causing me to change my opinion.

Mila is the actual worst cook I’ve ever seen.  A 10 year old could put together more appetizing nachos than she did. Canned corn and bagged shredded cheddar is a huge hell no, she’s taking every nasty shortcut in the book. I’m not sure even drunken frat boys at 2:00 am would want to touch that pile of garbage.

A real chef takes the guest request for Mexican food and does a gourmet interpretation using high end ingredients. I think she even used the Old El Paso seasoning pack on the meat!!!!  Any true chefs out there watching her do these things last night must have cringed so hard they fell off the sofa.

I love hearing the guy from Liverpool speak, he really does sound just like the Beatles. Makes me want to travel to Liverpool just to go sit in public places and listen to the locals talk to each other. He might be an ass, I can’t tell - British people can always fool me into thinking they are all awesome just because their accents charm me.

So far Joao does seem genuinely humbled and self aware. Maybe suffering a solid heartbreak was actually good for him.

The guests are so nice. I always feel bad when the good ones get the short end of the luxury yacht experience. I want things like getting left waiting at the dock and being served garbage food to happen only to guests like the women who lost their minds over waiting for a bowl of peanuts, or the ones who said eating out of bowls is for poor people. These lovely guests deserved true gourmet food.

I think the season looks good! Glad the show is back.  

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Why was Mila shown coughing repeatedly before revealing that she had food poisoning?  Pretty sure coughing is not one of the symptoms.

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