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S11.E13: It's Not You, It's Miami


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If I were LuAnn I would have kicked Sonja out of the room when she came to visit her rehearsal. I agree with Lu, it wasn't just booze with Sonja. She wasn't slurring her words, she was jumpy and would not shut up. She disrupted every thing and every one there. The most disturbing behavior from a 55 yr old woman I have ever seen. 

I don't know if I agree that Sonja wants to be married or find a committed relationship. She has always played the diva sex kitten role that has no problem with one night stands.  If she's looking for something serious she needs to change up her schtick. 

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10 hours ago, Thumper said:

Miami place looks beautiful.  Does it come with a chef too?

10 hours ago, bosawks said:

Or a ref.....

And a closet full of straitjackets instead of fluffy robes.

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6 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

If I were LuAnn I would have kicked Sonja out of the room when she came to visit her rehearsal. I agree with Lu, it wasn't just booze with Sonja. She wasn't slurring her words, she was jumpy and would not shut up. She disrupted every thing and every one there. The most disturbing behavior from a 55 yr old woman I have ever seen. 

I don't know if I agree that Sonja wants to be married or find a committed relationship. She has always played the diva sex kitten role that has no problem with one night stands.  If she's looking for something serious she needs to change up her schtick. 

I know what you mean about the sex kitten versus wanting to be a wife. You know those people who are stuck in the groove of the hairdo or wardrobe from their heyday ? Sonja being a sex kitten was her heyday and it got her ol’ man Morgan.... so it’s what she knows. Sadly it’s not going to work anymore now she’s less kitten and more the ol’ cat that has hair that’s a bit scruffy and bandy legs who can’t jump up onto the mantelpiece and knock stuff off anymore (oh, that’s our cat... but you know what I mean!)

Dorinda (?) mentioned Sonja putting a brave face on her life in this episode, so I think her sexy persona, to some extent, is covering up her desire for a marriage. Actually, a lot of her sexiness and most flirtatious is conveyed to the men who are younger and/or unavailable (the cute bar man/wait staff etc) and it’s the older/wealthier marriageable and possibly attainable men that she socialises with that she drops those marriage hints to. I’m trying to recall what she was saying and to whom....in the bar when Mar-E-Oh brought stuff to Ramona...?

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(edited)

Re Harry Dubin.... no one is kissing that gnome Harry.

They are kissing what they could potentially get from him: connections, gifts, wifedome, infamy, a notch on their belt, whatever! No one is kissing Harry!

Edited by CrinkleCutCat
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6 hours ago, Keywestclubkid said:

Don’t forget Tinsley she might have been getting the shit end of the stick with everything but she didn’t get sloppy or mean 

And she had the good sense to at least ACT like she was embarrassed.  (I think she really was). Tinsley is trying to get back into NY Society and she might be on the verge of realizing that being on this show is NOT the way to do that.

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(edited)
40 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Ramona holding Tej hostage (prattling on and on about Miami colors and how she has great legs, this outfit shows off her boobs) made me think that Ramona is very, very lonely. No one else will listen to her, so she has to prey on the person whose wages hinge on keeping the customer happy. 

Omg this. After I let my anger pass. I definitely thought Ramona is lonely.  She used to have Mario to listen to her prattle on and on how sexy she is, how they were all jealous of her lol.  Now she has to hold staff in vacation homes hostage. 

Seriously though, Ramona and Sonja keeping Tej in that damn room for so long made me so incredibly angry and uncomfortable.  

I would love to see these lunatics watch this episode.  How freaking embarrassing!  They all should disgusted with themselves.  

Edited by Coffeewinewater
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8 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

Remember how Ramona had to leave the season 1 reunion when talk turned to Alex's nude photos and how Ramona freaked out about Bethenny's sex scenes in that movie. Ramona is fucking weird about sex.

She's making out with men. If she really likes them, she'll let them eat her out. She's rarely having sex. It's apparently been only a handful of times since Mario. Not guys, but times. And she's cartoonishly uncomfortable around lesbianism. 

Ramona also freaked out that Alex's husband was crashing a "girls' night." I guess it's fine for Mario to crash a girls' trip!!

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(edited)

So I guess Lu says “uncool” during her cabaret show, and the audience ravenously laps it up.

They set the bar low, mah friend. 

Lu insisting that, in her SOLD-OUT, RECORD-BREAKING cabaret show, references to Dorinda and Jovani (and it really bugs me that it’s not Giovanni) are “comedy.” Snort. 

Edited by hoodooznoodooz
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42 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Ramona holding Tej hostage (prattling on and on about Miami colors and how she has great legs, this outfit shows off her boobs) made me think that Ramona is very, very lonely. No one else will listen to her, so she has to prey on the person whose wages hinge on keeping the customer happy. 

I found Sonja’s interaction with all the staff to be much more cringeworthy than Ramona to the point that I forget about this part!

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9 minutes ago, ButterQueen said:

Didn’t Dorinda hook Lu up with Tom?  What’s this bs girl code she’s talking about?

To be fair to Dorinda I think that she didn’t know about him and Sonja. Also to be fair Tom hit on Ramona and her friend before Sonja joined the show so the UES is a apparently a small drunken cesspool of mingled genitalia or at least mouths. 

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30 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

Barbara is winning me over with how calm she remains when Ramona is being a turd to her. 

Me too.  I don’t know how Barbara keeps her composure when one of them is bashing her to her face.  Ramona especially.  She has no filter and is stupid and mean.

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Those poor cameramen having to film all that screeching and craziness.   What a nightmare job.  

I'm always awed by drunks that have so much spit and fire energy.  Three glasses of wine and I'm sleepy and off to me bed.  No fun at all.

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11 hours ago, KungFuBunny said:

Did Dorinda just threaten to send Luann a Loovers letter?

I'm not sure if this was sarcasm or a serious question.  For the avoidance of doubt, Dorinda threatened to send a lawyer's letter....basically a warning to Lu not to talk about Dorinda in her cabaret show.

11 hours ago, tranquilidade said:

Am I the only one who thinks Lu has a terrible voice?  

No, you're definitely not.  I think she has the worst voice of all the wannabe RH singers.  Apparently being able to sing well is not a requirement in cabaret shows.

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11 hours ago, tranquilidade said:

Poor Tej.  I hope he is paid well.

Am I the only one who thinks Lu has a terrible voice?  

Depends on your idea of "terrible". Lu's voice is like an angel, if you imagine angels sound like a tone deaf Barry White singing lyrics written by Rebecca Black. 

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I think Sonja is intentionally ramping it up but also intentionally doing it while wasted/drugged up off her ass.  I used to love her but now she's fucking annoying.  

I would love for Tej to sue Bravo and Sonja for harassment.  She was sexually harassing him and that should not go unchecked.

I did enjoy the montages of the drunks Dorinda and Sonja.  Dorinda should deck LuAnn.  I'd be pissed to if I was incorporated into her act esp if I asked not to be.  I also think Lu is ramping up the ridiculous Diva behavior for effect.  

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1 hour ago, CrinkleCutCat said:

Re Harry Dubin.... no one is kissing that gnome Harry.

They are kissing what they could potentially get from him: connections, gifts, wifedome, infamy, a notch on their belt, whatever! No one is kissing Harry!

Except for Ra-gnome-a.

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Wow, what a ride! This honestly was the first time that I have almost shut this show off and taken it off my PVR. 

Sonja, manic? Absolutely, and I'm positive this crazy person is on something, pills or whatever (Pasta??) I just can't with this flailing nut. 

Nobody else was much better to be honest. The way they treat the people who work in the house they rented was disgusting (I know! we say this everytime these biches go anywhere!) At least there was no room drama.

Ramona acted pretty normal at dinner when everyone else was going off the rails. I want to see what happened to Sonja next week, and I would like to say that I'm not going to watch anymore, but I probably will.

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(edited)
46 minutes ago, Pondlass1 said:

Those poor cameramen having to film all that screeching and craziness.   What a nightmare job.  

I'm always awed by drunks that have so much spit and fire energy.  Three glasses of wine and I'm sleepy and off to me bed.  No fun at all.

Me too. I love my wine. But about 3 glasses in and I'm looking for snacks and once I start snacking soon comes the snoring😴. That's why I always assumed these Howives were on cocaine,  j/k sort of😉

Edited by Coffeewinewater
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51 minutes ago, biakbiak said:

To be fair to Dorinda I think that she didn’t know about him and Sonja. Also to be fair Tom hit on Ramona and her friend before Sonja joined the show so the UES is a apparently a small drunken cesspool of mingled genitalia or at least mouths. 

Lest we forget that Sonja and Lu both banged that pirate/fake Johnny Depp. It's now up to 3 (that we know of) men that were Sonja's sloppy seconds for Lu. It's not just on the UES.

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(edited)
11 hours ago, film noire said:

I used to find Sonja so charming. Her exuberance, her decency during Scary Island, her elegant features, the slightly loopy but still present energy. None of that remains.  She's just gone. And no stone of humiliation was left unturned tonight. Blowjob jokes aimed at a man near-rolling his eyes, a desire to piss in the tub of a 15K a night rental  (a step up from free range peeing on the jitney, I suppose) to advertising farts trapped in her jeans  - as if it were some delightful Audrey Hepburnesque moment -  to braying donkey-style, right before she slap-stick bounced and slid off a table like Buster Keaton. It was an unrelenting loop of self-shaming fueled by god knows what -- drugs, booze, a cocktail of both, a panicked bid to keep an apple, unchecked mental illness creeping up on a lonely woman   - or whatever it is RHoNY has done to erase her better self. The woman who once said of Kelly "This is us, picking on a woman who needs help" is now an object of pity, a wreck of a woman without any self-awareness. 

No one else here has ever so fully captured my feelings on our darling Sonja Tremont Morgan! Sonja was always, to me, the gold standard of a mid-season newcomer in a franchise. She was, until Tinsley arrived, the most conventionally beautiful of any woman on a Housewives iteration. Her calm demeanor, good heart, irreverence, bawdy humor, all of it - sometimes she drank too much but she was a saint compared to the rest.

I remember how she played peacemaker on Scary Island, defended Jill, defended Bethenny from Kelly's insane, unprovoked attacks, and was the only one who took charge of the group to prevent the Kelly breakdown from becoming worse. She had such a natural elegance about her. 

WHAT. HAPPENED?!

 Sorry again to defend Lu, but I hate a pile-on and there's the obvious issue of... she was right. On some level about something - and she should be bringing it up to the group. What good what it do to talk to Sonja? Irish jigs, insane slurring, and crashing to the ground at the dinner table do not productive conversations make. 

You can have an anti-depressant or a valium or a Xanax and a glass of wine. But you cannot mix those pills with large quantities of hard alcohol. I choose to drink on planes rather than medicate. I'm small (all these women likely weigh less than me anyway), and too much of either makes me sleepy. In a flight of rather awful turbulence a few years ago, I popped my Xanax like tic-tacs until the plane stopped fishtailing. Then I ordered two glasses of shiraz. I was unable to feel my extremities until we landed. At no point did I lose my shit on my seat mates or a flight attendant. 

What those particular pills and alcohol DON'T make you is a raging lunatic with zero sense. That level of disorientation and belligerence is foreign to me. I mentioned around the season premiere that Lu's issues seemed to all be blamed on booze when the behavior in question simply cannot be traced back to the drink. Here we are in a similar situation with Sonja. Lu knows her well. Maybe no one wants to hear it because then you'd have two women in recovery, group outings wouldn't be as turnt, and the rest of the gals would have to start addressing their own issues but... something is rotten in the state of Sonja. 

I'm going to agree with everyone who says that the ladies are annoyed with Lu because none of them enjoy an ego that rivals Bethenny. They all have to kowtow to her - Dorinda especially seems afraid of her. Either she has info on her or John, or she is afraid of being eviscerated the way B takes down Ramona. Two egos that size cannot fit in a room. All the ladies know B runs the show, so they have to make Lu's head shrink.

Edited by thesupremediva1
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16 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

I'd be pissed to if I was incorporated into her act esp if I asked not to be.  I also think Lu is ramping up the ridiculous Diva behavior for effect.  

Yeah, it's really not the best way to handle a newly-mended relationship. Dorinda is 100% right that Lu is using her as a prop to get laughs. It just goes to show that Lu isn't funny enough on her own to carry a show. She relies on old one-liners and jokes that got traction. Are we not all over "be cool, don't be so...uncool" yet?

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7 minutes ago, Coffeewinewater said:

Me too. I love my wine. But about 3 glasses in and I'm looking for snacks and once I start snacking soon comes the snoring😴. That's why I always assumed these Howives were on cocaine,  j/k sort of😉

Two glasses and I'm having fun. Add in food and a third, and I want sleep.

I've always assumed that the reason howives get so defensive about any mention of drugs is because they don't want their own dirty laundry aired. At their ages and the amount of alcohol consumed, there has to be some kind of upper in there.
 

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2 hours ago, chewycandy said:

When they got to the house she said something like, this is the life that I’m used to! And then proceeded to go completely off the rails. 

I also felt bad for Barbara — she handled herself well by saying no thank you, I’ll stay right here. Bethenny also went for her by saying she was the cabaret cult leader and to take her construction goggles off. You could tell she was hurt by that. These women aren’t your friends, Babs. 

No Sonja this is not the life that you are used to. This is the life that you used to have before the divorce from old man Morgan 13 years ago. A huge part of Sonja's problems is her inability to accept that she is no longer Morgan rich and socially connected. She is a pathetic drunk. I still cannot fathom why Romona and Sonja's children even speak to them after watching their mothers drunken rants and disgusting sex talk on national tv. Raise your hands if any of you have ever had your mother act like this in public. Anyone, anyone?

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Wasn’t there a very nice, older (wealthy?) European gentleman who was very interested in Sonja a few seasons back?  Not the young French guy, the other guy.  I don’t think Sonja’s interested in a quiet, dignified life.  And I think she’s inches away from a Kim Richards scenario where it’s painful to watch her spiraling, not entertaining at all.

Am I the only one who thinks Bravo is missing a golden opportunity for a Housewives/Married at First Sight mash up?  Or some sort of dating show crossover?  A few of these ladies are hungry to be married or in a relationship but need some help. Dr. Pepper Schwartz - we need you on the front lines - STAT!

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So are the ladies turning a blind eye to Sonja’s problems just to spite Luann?  Or to close ranks against newbie/outsider Barbara (the same way they shut her down in the Berkshires after she called Sonja scary)? Or to try and end any on-camera speculation of drug abuse?  A little of all of the above?

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1 hour ago, Coffeewinewater said:

Omg this. After I let my anger pass. I definitely thought Ramona is lonely.  She used to have Mario to listen to her prattle on and on how sexy she is, how they were all jealous of her lol.  Now she has to hold staff in vacation homes hostage. 

Seriously though, Ramona and Sonja keeping Tej in that damn room for so long made me so incredibly angry and uncomfortable.  

I would love to see these lunatics watch this episode.  How freaking embarrassing!  They all should disgusted with themselves.  

Even watching it back, they wouldn’t have the self-awareness to be embarrassed - they’d probably be thrilled by their cute outfits or trim figures.

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What was up with Dorinda actually defending Sonja?  Is her hatred of Lu that bad?  No matter who kisses/fucks Sonja's leftovers, it's none of her business.  She's not married to any of them.  Nor was she actually seriously dating any of them either.  Personally, I would be afraid to be intimate with any of Sonja's leftovers b/c fear of disease.

Meanwhile B has no idea what the fight was about Sonja.  Scream at Lu for being an ass, but don't insert yourself into an argument you have no idea what it is about.

Also, I am convinced Harry Dubin has zero brain cells.  The only reason any woman would want him is b/c of his parent's wealth.  He's not good looking and he has zero personality and talks like a mental patient.

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25 minutes ago, esco1822 said:

Except for Ra-gnome-a.

Seems like Harry, Tom and Red Scarf Guy and Rocco are the only ones available to film with these desperate women in the city.  Slim pickings.  Pfitt, I’d rather be single than go with one of them if I were one of these housewives.  Ramoaner bar hopping and looking for one of these men is pathetic.  Sonja too.  Where the hell do they get the energy?  I’m in my pj’s at 7 pm, done for the day and looking forward to my t.v.  Plus, I’m with my husband, thank God.  I wouldn’t want to be one of them in a million years, glamour and all.

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13 hours ago, nexxie said:
13 hours ago, farmgal4 said:

I don’t think it’ll bother Sonja.

I’m thinking of her daughter.

I'm thinking about us, the general public LOL

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12 hours ago, howiveaddict said:

I think that Ramona's problem with Barbara is Barbara's bisexuality.  Ramona said things in the past, that Barbara was manly.  I think it's her prejudice showing.  Then  to be mean and not include Barbara on the night out.  Also, she probably dropped Tinsley cold at the night club, to go fawn over a man, as soon as they got there.  Or Ramona thought that Tinsley would attract cuter guys to their table.

I think her problem is that Barbara isn't an attractive bisexual.  I always thought her and Sonja may have had some action before with their showering together, sleeping together. Remember how offended Aviva was with them spooning?  

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2 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

So I guess Lu says “uncool” during her cabaret show, and the audience ravenously laps it up.

They set the bar low, mah friend. 

Lu insisting that, in her SOLD-OUT, RECORD-BREAKING cabaret show, references to Dorinda and Jovani (and it really bugs me that it’s not Giovanni) are “comedy.” Snort. 

My daughter saw her in the City.  She said the crowd goes wild as soon as she comes out, and screams and yells and sings along the whole time she’s on.  She’s not on stage very long, as she has guests do the work.  I’m sure as long as she’s a housewife, they will keep coming.  Not bad.

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(edited)

WOW ! I watched in sadness, disgust, disbelief at this group of women, in front of the cameras. Do you want to be on TV so badly? How does this not effect your life after the show ?

Well, I watched some RHONY after the show clips on Bravotv.com and none of the ladies were at all troubled by Sonjas appearance, actions, etc. Oh, that's how Sonja always is. 

Ok then. And Luann, you are right. It is hard to be newly sober around a bunch of drunks. You are right to walk out. However, for your recovery, you should have walked further. All the way back home.

Edited by missyb
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13 hours ago, nexxie said:

Noticed that, but what are they for?!

They are supposed to lift/support your boobs. Not sure why Sonja would use them since she not humongous on top. She should have just worn nipple covers.

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11 hours ago, HunterHunted said:

I rarely quote myself. But considering what a shitshow this was, I'm bringing my dumb Godzilla post over from Small Talk. And frankly it's less of a screaming mess than the show.

I wish they had tried to insert the new Bravo Godzilla commercial featuring Dorinda, Sonja, Giselle, and Karen Huger into the show like they did with the Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson movie. Because it then goes from contrived and fake to sublime and surreal.

Dorinda: "This new Godzilla movie is really good. It really has a lot of parallels to Luann's struggle with alcohol."

Sonja: "I think Ghidorah is such a great representation of Luann's issues. One head is alcohol. The second head is her entitlement. The third head is Luann's fear of showing any vulnerability."

Dorinda: "So true. Luann should see this movie. Maybe it'll help her figure out how to summon her own Godzilla."*

Voiceover: Godzilla: King of Monsters in theaters Friday.

Also there was missed opportunity by not using Stassi's boyfriend Beau in the commercial because he had a little dance break scene wearing his T Rex suit during Vanderpump Rules. Beau could have arrived wearing a Godzilla suit like Dorinda. They could have "a who wore it better" joke. The punchline is that Godzilla roars and they all agree the original, aka Godzilla, wore it best.

Yes, I punch up shitty commercials in my free time.

*The problem is that each of the women is already Godzilla and Ghidorah and Mothra and Rodan and Mecha-Godzilla and...

Can I point out that Gamera should be included which would be Ramona since Gamera is a Turtle

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(edited)
1 hour ago, esco1822 said:

Lest we forget that Sonja and Lu both banged that pirate/fake Johnny Depp. It's now up to 3 (that we know of) men that were Sonja's sloppy seconds for Lu. It's not just on the UES.

Geeze.  That Lu is one horny number.   I’m surprised Tom left her.

Edited by Gem 10
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13 hours ago, nexxie said:

I’ve always thought Bravo hires people with flaws that promise to bring the drama - and may even use psychologists when casting - but what begins as a tendency to over imbibe or to be narcissistic soon grows into something malignant in the Petri dish that is the Real Housewives franchise.

That is why I have always thought of Andy Cohen as a pimp.

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My favorite parts were...

1. Tej saying " Rhymes with page......or rage." Lol 

2. In the scenes for next week, Tinsley looking at Sonia on the stretcher saying "oh that looks scary", and in the same breath saying "is that our car?" as they were headed out. Tins cracks me up.

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