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S11.E13: It's Not You, It's Miami


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51 minutes ago, JD5166 said:

You’re kidding, right? Andy probably gave Sonja whatever she’s on to amp up the drama! 

I’ve always thought Bravo hires people with flaws that promise to bring the drama - and may even use psychologists when casting - but what begins as a tendency to over imbibe or to be narcissistic soon grows into something malignant in the Petri dish that is the Real Housewives franchise.

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20 minutes ago, farmgal4 said:

When these women go out-of-town/on trips, who provides and pays for hair and makeup?  Does each woman bring her own hairstylist/makeup artist?  Does Bravo provide that service for them?  How does that work, do you think?

Tej was probably job hunting the next day.

I did hear the house manager tell Sonja that they had people there to do "blow outs" (and, of course, Sonja responded with an off-color comment about changing the last word), so I'm assuming the hair/makeup team was pre-arranged as part of the accommodations. 

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Well, that was a shit show.  No one does a vacation like the NY women. 

Could you imagine what the other people thought at the tree lighting when Doris and Lu were going at one another?

There's noodles.

Poor Tins.  You go in the other car.  Lu and Babs are taking the guest rooms.

Ro in that dress at dinner.  Was she taped in?

Lu may be on her high horse then but not so much now.  Karma?

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1 hour ago, BodhiGurl said:

Sweet cheezus these women. I know it supposedly makes for entertaining tv but they are WAY beyond "lets get lit" age - and I include Tinsley in this judgement. I'm a year older than BF and I gave this stupidity up in my early 30's...  I couldn't be around these women in real life... I'm exhausted just watching them! LMAO

Tonight is unusually crazy.  The only sane ones were Bethenny and Barbara.  Scary and embarrassing.  I don’t know what got into everybody.

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1 hour ago, nexxie said:

Bravo shouldn’t have aired this.

I agree.  It made the N.Y. Housewives look stupid.  I was embarrassed for them.  Why am I not surprised at Andy?  Anything for drama, even at the cost of their reputation.

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(edited)

Please don't throw things at me, but didn't Ramona organize this trip?  I know all the trips are just fake, paid by Bravo excursions, but they're pretending Ramona organized the trip, yes?  Whoever organized the trip always seems to get the best room or at least is OFFERED the best room.  So I'm kind of glad that Ramona and Sonja got the master suite.  It seems to be fair.

Ramona and Sonja like to share rooms, god knows why, and in the past few trips I've seen they've had to pick a number or whatever fair way was given, and that's totally fine.  This time they get the master suite, good for them I say.

I don't think Dorinda was so bad this episode.  And honestly, I found Bethenny to be hilarious.  I enjoy her metaphors.

Luann's body is in-cred-i-ble.  Just insane.

Edited by Ms Blue Jay
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Lu isn't the only one with a drinking problem. Hellllllooooo Sonja and Dorinda. 

Sonja did a really good job keeping it together the first part of this season. Now she's gone off the rails again. Wonder what prompted her to lose it? 

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(edited)
1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

But the thing is, Luann isn't the only one who's delusional.  Both Sonja and Dorinda think they're all that when they're really a couple of sad drunks, and no one wants to call THEM on it.  Bethenny thinks she's all that but wants to put down Luann.  Really, what if someone said Bethenny is starting to look like one of those "faces of meth?"

Worse has been said. Family Guy drags her for no other reason than to drag her.  The funny football headed baby Stewie compares Dr. Cecil Pritchfield's office to Bethany's therapist and notes that he hates her because she looks like an Eastern European wooden doll, although he backtracks a bit in admiring her business sense. He also compares his anxiety to Bethenny Frankel on her period and questions why he keeps bringing her up.

In another episode, the characters are watching Extreme Makeover: Bethenny Frankel Edition in which the crowd shouts for the bus to be put back when Bethenny is shown.

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Back to the program, this was an insane hour of tv. I came prepared to find Lu the most abhorrent this episode and boy was I wrong. Don't get me wrong, she is self-centered and ridiculous but so are the women coming after her and I don't feel like she is wrong about Sonja after this episode. This shit was crazy jam packed and the epi flew by - the mark of a damn entertaining if somewhat infuriating hr of tv. 

From now on Tej (to Me) is synonymous for FML e.g. Bernie Madoff stole all my savings, I am totally Tej'ed. That poor man. 

Lu's body is on point. Did y'all see the definition on those arms and shoulders? Get it girl. Loving the longer hair on her too. 

Beth's dinner dress - stunning. 

Edited by islandgal140
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(edited)

It took me well over an hour to get through this episode...I had to constantly rewind and turn the captions on because these ladies were yelling all over each other.

I wasn't surprised one bit that Luann wanted to stay in the guest house with Barbara. I saw the wheels in her head turning when they were scoping out the place and I knew she was already thinking of how many men she could bring back and fuck over the course of their Miami excursion, so when she mentioned she was planning to bring back some men the following night I just chuckled. Oh, Luann. So predictable.

Why does Dorinda have a small piece of food at the corner of her mouth when she's eating--and why don't one of the other ladies ever point it out? This is the third or four incident that I've noticed.

I love that Bethenny left the dinner table and decided to tell Luann what she thought and felt to her face rather than gossip with the ladies. That's character in my book. However, it probably wasn't the best time since everyone had already laid into Luann, although with good reason.

Ramona was such an utter bitch to Barbara for excluding her from their post-dinner plans on the town. I thought those two were on better terms after Ramona offered her some fashion advice? 

Poor Tej. His name is not hard to pronounce as far as Indian names go, and he should not have to suffer the indignity of being called "Taj," "Raj" or anything else of the sort. And drunken Sonja mentioned he had a belly. 

Sonja seems to be self-medicating. She made a comment about being used to accommodations like this vacation rental, but the reality is she hasn't lived like this in quite some time and is unable to accept this new chapter of her life. Quite sad.

That house was gorgeous but if I had to endure these women to stay there, I'd probably opt for a mid-budget hotel instead.

Edited by Rahul
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I just have to say that I am glad that John has stepped back and stopped appearing on this shitshow. 

Satan Andy wants to humiliate the significant others of the Housewives.  He revels in it. It looks like it’s Mario’s turn in the barrel. Some of these dummies never learn. I am glad that John finally caught a clue.

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I just felt terrible for the way Ramona treated Barbara.  Ramona didn’t even want to be seem with her.  I may be a party of one because I am warming a bit to Barbara.  The fact that she’s different  than the other women makes her interesting to me.  Especially since she’s crawled out of Luann’s ass a bit.  

It was very sad watching Sonja tonight.  I agree with some other posters saying they think she is depressed.  Dorinda kept saying the new apartment made Sonja light.  I think that new apartment seems depressing.  She went from a middle class family to being married to a very wealthy man from a socially revered family.  While both LuAnn and Dorinda accumulated much of their wealth through their marriages, Sonja didn’t seem to do so well.  I really wish we knew exactly why they divorced.  For the last few seasons we haven’t seen her with any men except what she implies about the Netflix guy.

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I rarely quote myself. But considering what a shitshow this was, I'm bringing my dumb Godzilla post over from Small Talk. And frankly it's less of a screaming mess than the show.

I wish they had tried to insert the new Bravo Godzilla commercial featuring Dorinda, Sonja, Giselle, and Karen Huger into the show like they did with the Anne Hathaway and Rebel Wilson movie. Because it then goes from contrived and fake to sublime and surreal.

Dorinda: "This new Godzilla movie is really good. It really has a lot of parallels to Luann's struggle with alcohol."

Sonja: "I think Ghidorah is such a great representation of Luann's issues. One head is alcohol. The second head is her entitlement. The third head is Luann's fear of showing any vulnerability."

Dorinda: "So true. Luann should see this movie. Maybe it'll help her figure out how to summon her own Godzilla."*

Voiceover: Godzilla: King of Monsters in theaters Friday.

Also there was missed opportunity by not using Stassi's boyfriend Beau in the commercial because he had a little dance break scene wearing his T Rex suit during Vanderpump Rules. Beau could have arrived wearing a Godzilla suit like Dorinda. They could have "a who wore it better" joke. The punchline is that Godzilla roars and they all agree the original, aka Godzilla, wore it best.

Yes, I punch up shitty commercials in my free time.

*The problem is that each of the women is already Godzilla and Ghidorah and Mothra and Rodan and Mecha-Godzilla and...

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49 minutes ago, Happy Camper said:

I think that "Real Housewives" shows were originally meant as an escape for us "normal folk" to envy and dream about what it would be like to live their rich, fab lives.

Well, no thanks. I am content to sit here in my 1800 square foot boring comfy home in small town burbs and watch these rich NY ladies make fools of themselves in front of millions of people.

All I can feel is the opposite of envy.

Not that all is perfect in my world, but I wouldn't exchange my simple life for any of theirs.

I'm with you happy camper.  I was entertained more by watching my two cats sleeping tonight than watching these rich women. 

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1 hour ago, howiveaddict said:

I think that Ramona's problem with Barbara is Barbara's bisexuality.  Ramona said things in the past, that Barbara was manly.  I think it's her prejudice showing.  Then  to be mean and not include Barbara on the night out.  Also, she probably dropped Tinsley cold at the night club, to go fawn over a man, as soon as they got there.  Or Ramona thought that Tinsley would attract cuter guys to their table.

Remember how Ramona had to leave the season 1 reunion when talk turned to Alex's nude photos and how Ramona freaked out about Bethenny's sex scenes in that movie. Ramona is fucking weird about sex.

She's making out with men. If she really likes them, she'll let them eat her out. She's rarely having sex. It's apparently been only a handful of times since Mario. Not guys, but times. And she's cartoonishly uncomfortable around lesbianism. 

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54 minutes ago, Rahul said:

Poor Tej. His name is not hard to pronounce as far as Indian names go, and he should not have to suffer the indignity of being called "Taj," "Raj" or anything else of the sort. And drunken Sonja mentioned he had a belly. 

And she touched his stomach!

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(edited)

West coast here so of course I come here before watching.  I thought I was prepared but low and behold I came down with bad case of second hand embarrassment.  I had to look away when Romona was holding that poor guy hostage with her wardrobe inservice.   Yet that was nothing compared to Sonia’s performance swinging her underwear around.  

It is way worse than Scary Island  little did the staff know they would need 4 point restraints for Sonia. Unbearable to witness.

Edited by athousandclowns
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(edited)

“Straight guys, used-up guys, f- - -ed up guys, guys you already f- - -ed...”

”Sonja, you don’t trust me to bring some very nice boys here tomorrow?”

“No, I don’t. ‘Cuz you usually f- - - my guys.”

”Oh, these mushrooms are delicious.”

Edited by hoodooznoodooz
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(edited)

 What the fuck is wrong with these women? They’re an embarrassment to womankind and humanity in general...just, Uch.

ETA: Sonja is, and has been in Kim Richards territory and needs to be let go ASAP, ditto DorindDuh the Drunk.

Edited by gingerella
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3 hours ago, SweetieDarling said:

Maybe that's why I thought he and Sonja made such a cute couple(?)

The cocktail napkin and the straw that stirs the drink. The couple of the (happy) hour.

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2 hours ago, breezy424 said:

Could you imagine what the other people thought at the tree lighting when Doris and Lu were going at one another?

There was one woman in the crowd who looked over Luann and Dorinda when they started to go at it over the cabaret thing - her eyes lit up at the word "cabaret" in the same way Tinsley's do when someone mentions that word while she's near a bottle of wine. I felt like that woman was a representative of all of us in that moment. 

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2 hours ago, njbchlover said:

I am the furthest thing from a psychologist/psychiatrist, and I usually don't like to put those type of labels on these women's behaviors, but this season, Sonja seems like she is experiencing some type of manic-depressive disorder, or else, she is self-medicating with pills and alcohol to hide her depression

2 hours ago, njbchlover said:

Sonja needs to get some very deep, good counseling, and soon - otherwise, I'm afraid that she's going to snap.  

Agreed. The first five times people were using the word "manic" I was annoyed, but it was her behavior at the Christmas show combined with the trip ... ooooof. I have been in therapy for two years and my therapist has described "manic behavior" without a diagnosis and I did have a few months last year when I was a Sonja. It's not just booze, but booze definitely puts the gas pedal on it. Manic episodes last for a few months at a time, and you drink and spend to all excess and when you're hyper as fuck at 2 AM, you can't understand why nobody else is on your level. You are at a point where you think EVERYONE should be as excitable and jumpy as you are. You cannot see yourself from an outside perspective. That said, it makes me sad that Bethenny is consistently the only person trying to get Sonja water or to calm her down while the others think she's just WACKY! (LuAnn calls her manic to her face but then doesn't really do anything -- but that is fair, too)

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I kinda laughed at all the HoWives having orgasms and wanting to start blood feuds over who was going to get what bedroom. They were all... white. And had tile floors. And looked really cold. Wow. Such a hard decision, guys. 

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4 hours ago, nexxie said:

Bravo shouldn’t have aired this.

I absolutely agree.

4 hours ago, BodhiGurl said:

And once again - Ramona is an arse. It's a group trip - invite them all. That was shitty what she did to Barbra and I'm not even a Barbra fan. Maybe they should all go out and leave Ramona behind. 

One thing that struck me in addition to how cruel that was to Barbara, was that Ramona kept trying to get Sonja to go out with her.  The woman couldn't stand, couldn't stop yelling, couldn't control herself.  And Ramona wanted to drag her out on the town for more drinks.  What.  The.  Hell.  I can't figure out why Ramona would even want to be seen in public with her in that state. 

4 hours ago, Jellybean13 said:

My God, that was a sad hour of television.  I can't believe those women can't see how this show is contributing the the demise of their sanity.  Andy Cohn really needs to sit back and examine the crap he is putting out there.  

On the good side, I loved Bethenny's dress.  

Right there with you.  

31 minutes ago, film noire said:

I used to find Sonja so charming. Her exuberance, her decency during Scary Island, her elegant features, the slightly loopy but still present energy. None of that remains.  She's just gone. And no stone of humiliation was left unturned tonight. Blowjob jokes aimed at a man near-rolling his eyes, a desire to piss in the tub of a 15K a night rental  (a step up from free range peeing on the jitney, I suppose) to advertising farts trapped in her jeans  - as if it were some delightful Audrey Hepburnesque moment -  to braying donkey-style, right before she slap-stick bounced and slid off a table like Buster Keaton. It was an unrelenting loop of self-shaming fueled by god knows what -- drugs, booze, a cocktail of both, a panicked bid to keep an apple, unchecked mental illness creeping up on a lonely woman   - or whatever it is RHoNY has done to erase her better self. The woman who once said of Kelly "This is us, picking on a woman who needs help" is now an object of pity, a wreck of a woman without any self-awareness.  Well done, Andy Cohen, bravo to fucking you.

Everything you said (so well). 

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These trips always produce an injury or disaster. Scary Island, Luann’s face plant in Mexico (not sure of location). Now it looks like Sonja has a concussion. This wasn’t wacky fun Sonja. Earlier in the season Sonja looked like she was staying sober and sounded sane. Then something happened to make her flip out. I’ve never seen anything like last night. 

On another note, were they really trying to get Luann to stop using the Jovanni joke to spare Dorinda’s feelings?  Come on.  It’s comedy, and moreover Dorinda deserved it. 

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(edited)
3 hours ago, film noire said:

I used to find Sonja so charming. Her exuberance, her decency during Scary Island, her elegant features, the slightly loopy but still present energy. None of that remains.  She's just gone. And no stone of humiliation was left unturned tonight. Blowjob jokes aimed at a man near-rolling his eyes, a desire to piss in the tub of a 15K a night rental  (a step up from free range peeing on the jitney, I suppose) to advertising farts trapped in her jeans  - as if it were some delightful Audrey Hepburnesque moment -  to braying donkey-style, right before she slap-stick bounced and slid off a table like Buster Keaton. It was an unrelenting loop of self-shaming fueled by god knows what -- drugs, booze, a cocktail of both, a panicked bid to keep an apple, unchecked mental illness creeping up on a lonely woman   - or whatever it is RHoNY has done to erase her better self. The woman who once said of Kelly "This is us, picking on a woman who needs help" is now an object of pity, a wreck of a woman without any self-awareness.  Well done, Andy Cohen, bravo to fucking you.

I couldn’t agree with you more. I’m feeling really quite sad about Sonja. I don’t think she is on pills, as Luann accuses her of. ( I choose the word ‘accuse’ deliberately because it’s a judgement made without any love or concern). It could be that Sonja is on prescribed meds, like antidepressants, which do not mix well with alcohol. Who knows. There is an underlying sadness with a healthy dose of desperation that is showing through Sonja’s usual joie de vivre this season. What Sonja wants the most...a husband... is not on her horizon at all, hence her unhappiness about all the Toms and Harrys that are tapping but not proposing.

Edited by CrinkleCutCat
One teeny weeny little ‘s’ needed to be included
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8 hours ago, Neurochick said:

How can these women want to talk to Luann about being a diva when Sonja's on something, Dorinda's pissy drunk and Ramona's making the staff put her clothes away, Bethenny has people doing her hair and make up. 

And Luann's a diva? 

Yeah, right.  These heifers have graduated to "Stupid Mean Girl" status.

And Drunkina is agreeing with Sonja?  WTF?

Dorinda must be high, drunk, fucked up, what a nutjob.  Have another drink Dorinda.

And then Bethenny arrives late to the game and without really seeing what is going on makes it her business to march in to Lu's room and lambast her and to me, it seemed like there was no real steam behind her outrage.  It is not like Bethenny to not survey the room before speaking.  I feel like that dinner table was some sort of alternate universe, it was going sideways yet all the focus was on Lu who for once was just minding her own business eating her dinner.  Sonja gets on some sloppy drunken rant and suddenly Lu is the target with Dorinda joining in.  I thought Dorinda introduced Tom to Lu?  How could Dorinda be pissed at Lu for her relationship with Tom? That said why wouldn't Sonja be pissed at Dorinda?

Sonja does not realize that if her romance with Harry and Tom was all that one of them would have made a committment to her.  Sonja knew that they were just booty calls, how is it she never thought of those men having booty calls with other women?  Frankly, if those booty calls were over years ago then they are fair play and if those booty calls were over then Sonja needs to ask herself why.

Ramona with her awkward invite/unvite with Barbara made no sense and I really felt bad for Barb.  

The entire staff of that house should be over tipped, call it battle pay.  

I have lived that moment as Lu, a group vacation that I always compared to Scary Island and now I will call the Villa Vendome.  

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7 hours ago, howiveaddict said:

I think that Ramona's problem with Barbara is Barbara's bisexuality.  Ramona said things in the past, that Barbara was manly.  I think it's her prejudice showing.  Then  to be mean and not include Barbara on the night out.  Also, she probably dropped Tinsley cold at the night club, to go fawn over a man, as soon as they got there.  Or Ramona thought that Tinsley would attract cuter guys to their table.

I know Ramona is an asshole and has always been, but she’s usually kind of funny. This high school crap? Took her to a different level for me, she’s just not a good person. She’s does know she’s NOT in high school, doesn’t she? And stop making the “help” unpack your shit, do it yourself!

They are ALL acting like queen bees, it’s like a race to the top of who can be the biggest jerk! 

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(edited)

I understand they were pissed at Lu for her entitled behavior.  However that shitstorm made them all look like hypocrites. 

Ramona's been a bitch so many times nothing she does surprises me. But I felt so bad for Barbara.  Damn, that was ice cold. That is why I can never like Ramona,  yeah I can laugh at her and all her stupid antics but,   I will always see her as the nastiest HW ever.

Sonja is freaking crazy. At Lu's rehearsal she was exactly the way I've seen her on wwhl the last few times. Talking over everyone rambling on and  on about a conversation that she can only hear. 

She's that upset about Harry Dubin???😂 ok? 

Ramona kissing Harry Dubin??🤢

Edited by Coffeewinewater
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