Love After Lockup: Life After Lockup

[cooksdelight]

None of these people have a clue about how stupid they are coming across on TV. Complete dumbasses. Megan leading the train with Clint right behind her.

And I need some subtitles, dammit. Can’t understand half of what anyone says.

[toodles]

2 minutes ago, cooksdelight said:

None of these people have a clue about how stupid they are coming across on TV. Complete dumbasses. Megan leading the train with Clint right behind her.

And I need some subtitles, dammit. Can’t understand half of what anyone says.

I have to watch with closed captions.

[cooksdelight]

I felt so sorry for the blind dates stuck with Scott and Lizzie. OMG, talk about over-sharing.

”Hi, I’m Scott! Nice to meet you. My last girlfriend was in prison and I dropped $140,000 on her! What looks good on the menu?”

LOL at Lizzie’s date asking her to go Dutch. Dude, be glad you got off so lightly, quickly.

[Armchair Critic]

 Oh brother. Megan still hasn't told her secret. Sara still hasn't dropped the fake accent. I can't blame Clint's mother for not wanting to meet his goddess. I really want to see Lizzy get cut down to size, she is not as hot as she thinks she is.

Edited June 22, 2019 by Armchair Critic

[Kangatush]

I feel for Clint's mom.  It must be heartbreaking to learn your child is a moron.  And while I understand not wanting to know Tracie, she is married to your child.  Best to have a meeting at a neutral location, so she can't be casing your house.

[Neurochick]

35 minutes ago, cooksdelight said:

And I need some subtitles, dammit. Can’t understand half of what anyone says.

I have to watch with closed captions.  Not a huge issue.

[toodles]

Just now, Kangatush said:

I feel for Clint's mom.  It must be heartbreaking to learn your child is a moron.  And while I understand not wanting to know Tracie, she is married to your child.  Best to have a meeting at a neutral location, so she can't be casing your house.

So does Clint's mom have a restraining order against Tracie?  It sounded like it to me.  I cracked up when Lizzie's  date wanted to split the check.  Sista, those boobs are ridiculous.

Megan and Sarah are both fools.

[HorrrGoodnight]

This show is so much more stupider

No way in hell I would have a conversation in a vehicle with somebody that may or may not try to whoop my ass. Nope. 

I love how Michael was being all proper like "While I was incarcerated, Sarah and Megan began to....talk shit to each other on Twitter" 😆

Andrea has that phone angle down pat doesn't she? She can't keep it up for long though, the arm slides down on its own. I did feel bad that her daughter said she doesn't trust Black men. That was sad. 

The tweakers! Tracie and Clint never let me down. 

Britneys hair 😍 

Slizzie's titties are EVERYWHERE! I know her date had to have an internal asthma attack with all that (likely cheap) perfume. I don't understand why people don't understand that you put your perfume on at home!! That way when you get there the scent pleasantly lingers. I don't need your Japanese Cherry Blossom assaulting my olfactory. But I digress. 

[cooksdelight]

12 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I have to watch with closed captions.  Not a huge issue.

My older TV doesn’t have that feature, dangit!

[Drogo]

What the actual fuck is happening here. 

[Drogo]

Alexis will never talk to Shar again.

[RealReality]

14 minutes ago, Drogo said:

What the actual fuck is happening here. 

Classic misdirection.  Looking at the boobs keeps you from looking at the face.  Our Lizzie is a ho-fessional.

But sadly, those boobies are a mess.  I don't understand her boobs in that dress.  All that money she scammed out of Scott and she never got a bra?  Scratchers were probably the better spend.

Edited June 22, 2019 by RealReality

[Spike]

Great job scrambling that Bulls logo.  Shouldn’t Flavor Flav Jr. be a Detroit fan?  I think the lead in the Flint drinking water may explain Michael’s multiple developmental disabilities.

The blind dates for Scott and Lizzie both seemed ten to 15 years younger.  Older people have more sense?   Actually, maybe Jenny from The Other Way would be good for Scott — similar in age, looks, and both in CA.

With the hot pink streaks Tracie looks like she’s going for a poor man’s Dale Bozzio.  But Dale had curves.

[RealReality]

49 minutes ago, Kangatush said:

I feel for Clint's mom.  It must be heartbreaking to learn your child is a moron.  And while I understand not wanting to know Tracie, she is married to your child.  Best to have a meeting at a neutral location, so she can't be casing your house.

I agree and would take it further, and only pay with cash.

I think Tracie was locked up for identify theft, so if she sees a utility bill, gets a peek at a credit card number or gets hip to their SS#s it's a wrap!

[cooksdelight]

19 minutes ago, Drogo said:

What the actual fuck is happening here. 

I gotta ask the obvious... did Scott pay for the boob job and how did she get it while in prison? I’m still cracking up over her bad dinner date.

1 minute ago, Spike said:

Great job scrambling that Bulls logo.

They didn’t bother during all the promo commercials. Weird, huh?

[PityFree]

23 minutes ago, Drogo said:

What the actual fuck is happening here. 

 Her left breast asked the right breast to go Dutch.

[Spike]

Maybe the way Tracie made hair dye out of Kool Aid and makeup out of coffee grounds, Lizzie unevenly injected Snackmate cheese spread into her chest.

Edited June 22, 2019 by Spike

[RealReality]

29 minutes ago, Drogo said:

What the actual fuck is happening here. 

In the words of the great Dave chappelle "I wish I had more hands so I could give those titties four thumbs down!"

Edited June 22, 2019 by RealReality

[Spike]

I had pictured Lizzie working on the assembly line like her Wisconsin sisters Laverne and Shirley, but she is a forklift driver?

[zillabreeze]

14 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

I’m still cracking up over her bad dinner date.

That young clean cut guy must've been gagging at those big, old floppy udders across the table.  No doubt he had the money to pay, he just didn't think her old skank ass was worth it.

Oh please Andrea, a full blown meltdown in the bodega is not a good look.  I'm awful sorry your kids got their feelings hurt, but you're the dumb bitch that husband shops at the Shawshank Clearance Rack.

Edited June 22, 2019 by zillabreeze

[Spike]

Andrea took a cue from Clint and threw her phone in the produce.

[sempervivum]

Was it just me, or was Tracie actually sneaking her foot on Clint's mom's lawn in some kind of 'defiant' gesture? Like, nyah nyah nyah, you won't let me in your house, Alice, but Imma step on your GRASS!

[Spike]

Tracie leaning against the pickup truck was like a nightmare country music video.

[PityFree]

Is  Melissa pregnant?  I didn’t think that was her secret until I saw this episode.  She hasn’t gained weight or anything but I don’t know what else it could be.

[cooksdelight]

27 minutes ago, PityFree said:

Is  Melissa pregnant?  I didn’t think that was her secret until I saw this episode.  She hasn’t gained weight or anything but I don’t know what else it could be.

Megan, you mean? I don’t think she’s pregnant or we’d have seen it all over social media. I think she has a real life boyfriend back home. Or a cyber boyfriend who’s not incarcerated. Either of which she’ll leave in the dirt if Michael proposes to her and divorces Cabbage Patch Sarah.

[Hannah94]

Lizzie's wig, lmao. She said on the dating app, her profile states "I am sexy, hot, and I have big boobs". Cannot imagine the caliber of people that will reply to that. Not to mention, two of those three things are untrue. Her boobs are enormous, but not in a good way. She thinks too highly of herself.

[millennium]

I don't remember this show being as tedious and boring as it was this episode.   

And who the heck is Lamar?

Edited June 22, 2019 by millennium

[Hannah94]

15 minutes ago, millennium said:

I don't remember this show being as tedious and boring as it was this episode.   

And who the heck is Lamar?

Lamar is Andrea's husband. They were on the first season. She claims to be a strict Mormon but she hooked up with a guy in prison and screwed him the first day he got out and then married him. She uprooted her kids (they are fabulous, unlike her) from their hometown in Utah or something and moved to the ghetto in L.A. to be with him.

[Spike]

2 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Cabbage Patch Sarah.

When she sticks her jaw out she looks like Popeye.

[Hannah94]

These "blind dates" and their shock at "discovering" their dinner mate was in prison - or dated someone in prison. The fabricated shock is just over the top. There is a camera crew with "Love After Lockup" written all over it. Can they just not make it this stupid?

[millennium]

Oh.  I didn't watch the first season.  Unless this gets better quickly I don't think I'll be watching the rest of this season.   All of the stories climaxed in the previous episode, now it seems the show's just about these repulsive people changing their hair color, going shopping and repeating their mistakes.

Did anyone else think the show was going to revisit the Pina Colada song with Lizzie and Scott when they both talked about having blind dates?

If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught and arraigned
If you have lots of money, and only half of a brain
If you like making love not ever, and you're into abuse
I'll spend all your money, then I'll laugh and cut you loose

[Hannah94]

4 minutes ago, millennium said:

Oh.  I didn't watch the first season.  Unless this gets better quickly I don't think I'll be watching the rest of this season.   All of the stories climaxed in the previous episode, now it seems the show's just about these repulsive people changing their hair color, going shopping and repeating their mistakes.

Did anyone else think the show was going to revisit the Pina Colada song with Lizzie and Scott when they both talked about having blind dates?

If you like Pina Coladas, and getting caught and arraigned
If you have lots of money, and only half of a brain
If you like making love not ever, and you're into abuse
I'll spend all your money, then I'll laugh and cut you loose

Yes! I thought production was going to set those two idiots up with each on a "blind date" and then they would be, like, super surprised when they met.

[millennium]

1 hour ago, Hannah94 said:

Yes! I thought production was going to set those two idiots up with each on a "blind date" and then they would be, like, super surprised when they met.

That would have been the absolute end for me.   Despite everything my eyes tell me, I maintain a kind of cognitive dissonance every time my mind shrieks IT'S ALL SCRIPTED, YOU IDIOT!   But a chance "blind date" encounter between Lizzie and Scott would be a bridge-work too far, even for me.

Edited June 22, 2019 by millennium

[Hannah94]

Wait, Marcelino is supporting his family by playing poker 3 nights a week? He doesn't have a job. Htf do you support a wife, two kids, and a dog by playing poker 3 times a week? On another hand, he said something very true to dumb Brittany when she told him to be "more open to Amanda and Sasha bc she loved them": he is in a relationship with her, not her friends. 

[AZChristian]

7 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Megan, you mean? I don’t think she’s pregnant or we’d have seen it all over social media. I think she has a real life boyfriend back home. Or a cyber boyfriend who’s not incarcerated. Either of which she’ll leave in the dirt if Michael proposes to her and divorces Cabbage Patch Sarah.

I think the secret is that her father gave her money to have her hair done and a new iPhone (with a new number) if she agreed to go to Flint and dump Michael.

At least I hope so!!!

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, Hannah94 said:

Wait, Marcelino is supporting his family by playing poker 3 nights a week? He doesn't have a job. Htf do you support a wife, two kids, and a dog by playing poker 3 times a week? On another hand, he said something very true to dumb Brittany when she told him to be "more open to Amanda and Sasha bc she loved them": he is in a relationship with her, not her friends. 

I thought Brittney said in the last episode that they bought that house. How do you do that when you have no jobs?  Is there some new type of financing for felons that I'm not aware of? 

[Hannah94]

Just now, bichonblitz said:

I thought Brittney said in the last episode that they bought that house. How do you do that when you have no jobs?  Is there some new type of financing for felons that I'm not aware of? 

Exactly. So some bank approved a loan based off TLC income? Naw, I cannot believe that. 

[cooksdelight]

Isn’t Marcelino ex-military? Maybe he has a day job that he cannot show on TV, working for the government? Otherwise, no one in their right mind would give them a loan for a home.

[AZChristian]

2 minutes ago, cooksdelight said:

Isn’t Marcelino ex-military? Maybe he has a day job that he cannot show on TV, working for the government? Otherwise, no one in their right mind would give them a loan for a home.

I thought he was a writer.  Or do I have my reality show "stars" confused?

[zenme]

I think Marcelo has a day job and plays poker at night. Last season he was a writer.

i think Megan’s reveal is that she miscarried during Micheal’s “unfortunate incarceration.”

I don’t blame Clint’s mother for wanting nothing to do with Tracie.  I wouldn’t want her in my home either, and on the talking head where Tracie discusses how drugs take the pain away, she looked high.

[zillabreeze]

51 minutes ago, zenme said:

on the talking head where Tracie discusses how drugs take the pain away, she looked high.

No doubt in my mind that she's using.  Clint's current demeanor suggests that he's partaking right along with her.

[PityFree]

9 hours ago, cooksdelight said:

Megan, you mean? I don’t think she’s pregnant or we’d have seen it all over social media. I think she has a real life boyfriend back home. Or a cyber boyfriend who’s not incarcerated. Either of which she’ll leave in the dirt if Michael proposes to her and divorces Cabbage Patch Sarah.

Yes! Thank you! Megan. 

[Persnickety1]

43 minutes ago, zenme said:

I think Marcelo has a day job and plays poker at night. Last season he was a writer.

i think Megan’s reveal is that she miscarried during Micheal’s “unfortunate incarceration.”

I don’t blame Clint’s mother for wanting nothing to do with Tracie.  I wouldn’t want her in my home either, and on the talking head where Tracie discusses how drugs take the pain away, she looked high.

I could just picture production encouraging dimwitted Clint to "go on, take her over to meet your mom, just surprise her, she won't turn you away!", and then laughing their asses off when the idiot fell for it.

Those blind dates were both just unpleasant to watch.  Cameras or not, if I were the blind date of Scott or Lizzie, I would have excused myself to use the restroom and then bounced out a side door (which I've done on several occasions in the past).  What hot messes both of them are, and not in a wild-and-crazy, fun way.  

Hey, Brittany...welcome to reality outside of "the big house."  You have a house to maintain and two kids to tend to.  You're exhausted?  Nut up, buttercup, it's called LIFE.  I couldn't eye roll hard enough when she talked about "everything" she has to do...and then said she never had to worry about anything in prison.  Hmmmm...potentially getting one's ass beat down by other inmates or even getting shanked is less stressful than having your freedom with a spouse, a home, and two adorable kids, able to stay home all day with your children which many women would do anything to be able to do?  Well, alrighty then....Get your ass back to the kitchen and scramble up some more eggs for Marcelino, you ungrateful heifer.

I find I really don't care what Megan's secret is.  Whatever it is (if there really is a secret one at all), she's dragging it out for story line purposes, so unless she's discovered a cure for AIDS or cancer, I have zero fucks to give about what secret she'd holding.  GTFO with that esoteric fuckery, Megan.  And take Michael with you.  

[RealReality]

Tracie is wayyyyyyy too interested in meeting Clint's mom.  It would be one thing if they had just met and married, but the fact that she is soooooo pushy about meeting Alice (?) when she has been told "no" is not normal.

The repeated demands that Clint make it happen, bringing it up as they are driving, trying to manipulate Alice into letting her into the house with Clint.

I think Tracie must have gotten some idea from Clint that his parents have money and she is looking to steal from them.  She now knows that Clint's parents leave their side door unlocked.  Dangerous.  

Tracie can miss me with her anger at Clint's mother isn't forgiving her.  You aren't owed forgiveness when you fuck up.  You apologize because you're wrong and sorry and you hope to be forgiven.

And Tracie remains dismissive of the fact that she stole that car.  A person like that will have no problem justifying or minimizing stealing from people she thinks are "rich"

It will also not be Alice's fault when Tracie "relapses" because it's not the responsibility of the rest of the world to make sure that Tracie doesn't feel hurt.

Alice lit into Clint and I was here for every nanosecond of it. 

And yes, just like the poster above I think Tracie stomped her foot in the grass to make a point.

[RealReality]

*****

I also need to know how much everyone drank that the bill was $50?  I actually think Lizzie may have gotten the short end of the stick because she was having virgin drinks and he was drinking full cocktails so his tab should have been more.

As for Scott's date?  That poor woman, I think sherleen more set it up like a "practice date" because that woman didn't seem interested in Scott from the second she walked in.  And she was firmly but kindly giving Scott dating advice.

[RealReality]

9 minutes ago, Persnickety1 said:

I could just picture production encouraging dimwitted Clint to "go on, take her over to meet your mom, just surprise her, she won't turn you away!", and then laughing their asses off when the idiot fell for it.

Those blind dates were both just unpleasant to watch.  Cameras or not, if I were the blind date of Scott or Lizzie, I would have excused myself to use the restroom and then bounced out a side door (which I've done on several occasions in the past).  What hot messes both of them are, and not in a wild-and-crazy, fun way.  

Hey, Brittany...welcome to reality outside of "the big house."  You have a house to maintain and two kids to tend to.  You're exhausted?  Nut up, buttercup, it's called LIFE.  I couldn't eye roll hard enough when she talked about "everything" she has to do...and then said she never had to worry about anything in prison.  Hmmmm...potentially getting one's ass beat down by other inmates or even getting shanked is less stressful than having your freedom with a spouse, a home, and two adorable kids, able to stay home all day with your children which many women would do anything to be able to do?  Well, alrighty then....Get your ass back to the kitchen and scramble up some more eggs for Marcelino, you ungrateful heifer.

I find I really don't care what Megan's secret is.  Whatever it is (if there really is a secret one at all), she's dragging it out for story line purposes, so unless she's discovered a cure for AIDS or cancer, I have zero fucks to give about what secret she'd holding.  GTFO with that esoteric fuckery, Megan.  And take Michael with you.  

I continue to find Megan repugnant.

All these fucking questions she asks are useless.  No matter why no one told you Micheal was married....you now know that HE IS MARRIED.  Full stop.

It doesn't matter how you feel about him, it doesn't matter that he fights with his wife, whatever bullshit he is feeding you about how he was just being a good dad doesn't matter either.  

It doesn't matter.  None of the "why's" matter.  He is married, go away.  If you like him that much, get back to him when he is divorced.

[AZChristian]

3 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I also need to know how much everyone drank that the bill was $50?  I actually think Lizzie may have gotten the short end of the stick because she was having virgin drinks and he was drinking full cocktails so his tab should have been more.

What she said (as she unhappily dug out her wallet) was, "I can go $25."  That flagged to me that the bill was more than $50.  Blind date guy even said, "This place is more expensive than I thought."

Did they just drink, or did they eat as well?  Even if they just drank, I'd have had more than $50 worth of drinks just for myself if I were sitting across the table from Lizzie.

[Persnickety1]

4 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I continue to find Megan repugnant.

All these fucking questions she asks are useless.  No matter why no one told you Micheal was married....you now know that HE IS MARRIED.  Full stop.

It doesn't matter how you feel about him, it doesn't matter that he fights with his wife, whatever bullshit he is feeding you about how he was just being a good dad doesn't matter either.  

It doesn't matter.  None of the "why's" matter.  He is married, go away.  If you like him that much, get back to him when he is divorced.

And no matter what tales of fuck and awe he was feeding her, how can she buy his bullshit that he was doing it to be a good dad (I threw up a little typing that), when he asked Sarah if she was ovulating and fucked her hoping to impregnate her again?  

How does she equate that with him just wanting to be a good dad for his daughter?  

He belittled both of his "queens" last season on national TV. 

I wish they would both go tell him to go fuck himself and be done with him.  

[Mrs. Hanson]

3 minutes ago, RealReality said:

I continue to find Megan repugnant.

All these fucking questions she asks are useless.  No matter why no one told you Micheal was married....you now know that HE IS MARRIED.  Full stop.

It doesn't matter how you feel about him, it doesn't matter that he fights with his wife, whatever bullshit he is feeding you about how he was just being a good dad doesn't matter either.  

It doesn't matter.  None of the "why's" matter.  He is married, go away.  If you like him that much, get back to him when he is divorced.

@RealReality, this is SPOT ON.  And may I add:  STOP with the entitlements:  "Mike's mom does not want me coming to the house but I am gonna go pick up Mike to see him."  I could just let him go but I love him.  Girl, we was never yours!  He is MARRIED.  Okay so you never knew that before but Sarah spelled it out for you, loud and clear.

Speaking of Sarah, I need to agree with Johnna from a Love After Lockup type Pillow Talk:  Sarah was trying to sound black per say, she was trying to sound "hood."  Or tough, or gang tough, whatever.  I know people of color (one from a tough part of New Jersey) and non speak like that, even when they are upset.  So to call it a "black-cent" is unfair.  Having said that, why the hell did one of  her friends take the phone from her while she was talking to Michael and sand say, "Michael, this is Sarah's friend.  Just stop it.  She is about to give birth, we don't want her upset.  Go be with your side piece and I will call to let you know your child is here.

19 minutes ago, RealReality said:

Tracie can miss me with her anger at Clint's mother isn't forgiving her.  You aren't owed forgiveness when you fuck up.  You apologize because you're wrong and sorry and you hope to be forgiven.

And Tracie remains dismissive of the fact that she stole that car.  A person like that will have no problem justifying or minimizing stealing from people she thinks are "rich"

Tracie will go back to jail as she is clearly not over her drug addiction.  Drugs mean way more to her than Clint.  He is a dimwitted loser and she knows it.  She knows he says this or that and the minute she talks about screwing him on satin sheets he is back in her web.

Amanda:  Shut the f*#k up about being tired.  You have a beautiful 3 (or so) year old, a beautiful little baby and you don't have to work while your husband supports you.  Do you know how many women would kill for that scenario?  I know dreaming about threesomes takes a lot of energy but hey....you have different priorities now.  Go take your little kids to the park, walk your dog there and enjoy it now because it really does fly by.  Trust me.

[sempervivum]

1 hour ago, zenme said:

I think Marcelo has a day job and plays poker at night. Last season he was a writer.

I think Marcellino put in his 20 years in the Marines (?) and retired with a decent pension, which would be enough to buy that sad little house. 

I continue to wonder why a person so obsessed with discipline and staying in your lane would seek out a CRIMINAL to romance. I also wonder if he told Brittney about his poker player fantasy, and it was close enough to illicit activity to pique her interest. Despite her whining, I'm not convinced 'housewife with faithful boring hubby' is what she was hoping for when she picked him. (Side bar: I'm sure that's her real hair, but it's so odd when people have those very sparse hairlines yet tons of cascading locks on the back of their scalps).

And yeah, what happened to 'writer'?

And back to Mike/Sarah/Megan- I just want to slap that nasty smirk off Megan's smug face. Oh, and of course you pick a top that bares half your chest to meet your jailbird in the snowy streets of Flint, Michigan.