ElectricBoogaloo June 18, 2014 Share June 18, 2014 I'll have to go back and rewatch so I can get some of the good ones from this season but the one that's sticking with me right now: Malvo: Is this what you want, Lester? Link to comment
Wilson Cat June 18, 2014 Share June 18, 2014 "I'm proud of you, Hon" "You're afraid of spiders!" "I'll shoot his eye out" Link to comment
Baltron9000 June 21, 2014 Share June 21, 2014 "Take the money, right?" Never has a character been so summed up by one sentence. Link to comment
RubyWoo72 July 19, 2014 Share July 19, 2014 Clerk: What's your name, fella? Malvo: Duluth. 1 1 Link to comment
Nutjob July 22, 2014 Share July 22, 2014 My favorite from Malvo: "Some roads you shouldn't go down. Because maps used to say 'there be dragons here.' Now they don't, but that don't mean the dragons aren't there." 1 3 Link to comment
Chaos Theory September 3, 2014 Share September 3, 2014 Lou was my favorite quotable and his best line has got to be: "You are the grand daughter i always wanted and was afraid to buy online." Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo October 15, 2015 Author Share October 15, 2015 (edited) Ed: Okay then. Bud: Okay then. Noreen! Noreen: Hmm? Bud: Ed's leaving. Noreen: Okay then. Ed: Okay then. Bud: Okay then. Noreen: Okay then. Lou: Hank's thinking botched robbery. Karl: That's what they want you to think. Sonny: Who? Karl: They. The powers that be. Karl: Tell [Betsy] that if John McCain could hold out for five and a half years against Viet Cong thumb screws, she can beat this cancer bull shit. Ed: Hamburger Helper? Peggy: And tater tots! Edited April 23, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade 3 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo October 21, 2015 Author Share October 21, 2015 (edited) Hank: What size shoes you boys wear? Mike: Now that is a truly odd question. Last time I checked I was a 10. Boys? [the Kitchens proceed to each give Hank the finger] Mike: I'm gonna go ahead and guess the boys are an 11 and not a 2 which would make them toddlers. [Charlie opening "get well" cards for Otto] Charlie: Injun Joe sent porn. Edited April 23, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade 1 4 Link to comment
Eyes High November 17, 2015 Share November 17, 2015 (edited) Everything Karl said in 2x06 was gold: Karl: Greetings and salutations! I have made the pilgrimage from the hall of veterans as George Washington once forded the Delaware: steely in my resolve, prepared to battle until my dying breath for the rights-- Denise (calling out): Lawyer's here. Karl: (aside, casually)Hey, Denise--for the rights of free men! Police officer: Hey Karl, Ed's in back. Karl: Rights that were squeezed from British oppression like water like a stone. That all men are created equal, free from the jackboot tyranny and gulag magic tricks of nameless, faceless committees. Lou: Hey. Hope they didn't wake you. Karl: Out of my way, tool of the state! (Continuing, loudly) For I am come to comfort and counsel my client even as you seek to imprison him-- Lou: Whatever you do, you've got 30 minutes. Karl: Don't dictate terms to me, you rogue. For the law is a light on a hill calling to its breast all those in search of justice. To wit, this poor, mottled wretch in front of me. Ed: Hey, Karl. The most hilarious part to me is the casual, unruffled greetings exchanged all while Karl is ranting about the evil oppression of the state. Karl referring to the freckled Ed as "mottled" as if he was some kind of duck was also hilarious. The runner-up is Lou being 100% done with Bear's bullshit: Lou: This kind of thing didn't work in Westerns, and it's not going to work tonight. Edited November 17, 2015 by Eyes High 4 Link to comment
Bort November 17, 2015 Share November 17, 2015 I would like to nominate "Out of my way, tool of the state!" as the title of this thread. 6 Link to comment
Nutjob November 17, 2015 Share November 17, 2015 Lou: This kind of thing didn't work in Westerns, and it's not going to work tonight. I loved this line. Even though they're dangerous, on some level Lou knows that the Gerhardts are kind of small potatoes compared to the KC mob 4 Link to comment
shapeshifter November 17, 2015 Share November 17, 2015 I would like to nominate "Out of my way, tool of the state!" as the title of this thread.Make it so, please.Heck, I think every quote thread everywhere could be titled this. 3 Link to comment
bosawks November 18, 2015 Share November 18, 2015 "I shall defend you until your last breath. I mean my last breath. Excuse the obvious death penalty snafu. I'm slightly inebriated." 4 Link to comment
Ohwell November 18, 2015 Share November 18, 2015 "You're a little touched, arent' ya?" I love that line because I know a few people I could use it on. 5 Link to comment
annzeepark914 November 18, 2015 Share November 18, 2015 "You're a little touched, arent' ya?" I love that line because I know a few people I could use it on. The way Hank looked at her when he said that was GOLD! 4 Link to comment
Milburn Stone November 19, 2015 Share November 19, 2015 I'm laughing out loud all over again at many of these. The show is probably the richest treasure trove of quotable lines in television history! Reading the Karl quotes underlines for me that Nick Offerman is not one of those actors who disappears, chameleon-like, into every role. No, he is always different shades of Nick Offerman--and that's what's wonderful about him, and that no one would have any other way. You know that in this case the casting came first, then the writing happened. 4 Link to comment
shapeshifter November 19, 2015 Share November 19, 2015 You know that in this case the casting came first, then the writing happened. It feels like that, but not necessarily. Rachel Tenner (and Stephanie Gorin?) won Emmys for casting Fargo last year too. Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo November 24, 2015 Author Share November 24, 2015 (edited) Lou: Is Carl drinking? Betsy: Not unless beer counts. Edited April 23, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo Fixed wonky spacing after forum upgrade 4 Link to comment
Nutjob November 24, 2015 Share November 24, 2015 (edited) Lou: "You're a shit cop, you know that, right?" "Just don't be offended next time if I don't say hello before I shoot." I love Lou so much. Edited November 24, 2015 by Nutjob 2 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo December 1, 2015 Author Share December 1, 2015 (edited) Peggy: Foot's on the other shoe now. Dodd: Shut up! Peggy: Oh, now that's just rude. Dodd: I got four daughters, you know. I'm not a bad guy. Peggy: You called me a whore. I heard. Dodd: I swear to Christ when I'm free, you're going to see the back of my hand. Peggy: We're going to be spending some time together, so you need to be civil. Dodd: Go to hell. [Peggy stabs Dodd] Dodd: OW! BITCH! Bitch! [Peggy stabs Dodd again] Peggy: What did I just say? You gonna be nice? Dodd: Okay, okay! Peggy: Good. Now I'm making beans. You want some beans? Dodd: No. Peggy: No WHAT? Dodd: No, thank you. Peggy: That's better. Peggy: Oh wait, you said you didn't want beans, didn't you? Dodd: No, it's okay. They're good. Ed: Did you stab the hostage? Peggy: I had to teach him some manners is all. Dodd: I'm hurt real bad. I think she punctured a lung. Ed: You gotta stop stabbing him. Dodd: I think Satan is a woman. Think about it. Mike: If I kiss you when we meet, would that be inappropriate? Ed: What? I don't- Mike: Nothing, just, well, it's been a day. Ed: No funny business, you hear? I've killed people before and I'm not afraid to do it again. Maybe you've heard of me? The butcher of Leverne? Mike: I have heard of you. And may I say? Brother, I like your style. Hanzee: I'm looking for a redhead. Cashier: Well, uh, not sure I can help you there, Hanzee: Redhead, heavyset. Cashier: Okay, well, there's a bar a mile or so up the road. You could potentially meet that type of girl there. Edited April 23, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo because a show is not the same as a shoe. 1 5 Link to comment
FormerMod-a1 December 1, 2015 Share December 1, 2015 Honey, you've got to stop stabbin' him. 9 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo December 8, 2015 Author Share December 8, 2015 Peggy: It's Ben, isn't it? Ben: Jamin. Benjamin. Ed: Are you seeing this? Peggy: It's just a flying saucer, Ed. We gotta go. [Mike arrives at the motel and sees all the dead bodies in the parking lot] Mike: Okay then. 6 Link to comment
Eyes High December 8, 2015 Share December 8, 2015 Honey, you've got to stop stabbin' him. Jesse Plemons' delivery on this (a helpless moan) was the best. 2 Link to comment
King of Birds December 8, 2015 Share December 8, 2015 Ed: Are you seeing this? Peggy: It's just a flying saucer, Ed. We gotta go. This deserves its own posting. I howled at this. 1 Link to comment
Chaos Theory December 8, 2015 Share December 8, 2015 (edited) Peggy: It's just a flying saucer, Ed. We gotta go.. I vote for this to be the new title of the quote section. Edited December 8, 2015 by Chaos Theory Link to comment
jnymph December 9, 2015 Share December 9, 2015 Ed: Are you seeing this? Peggy: It's just a flying saucer, Ed. We gotta go. . Pure utter gold. KD's delivery was perfection. Link to comment
AuntiePam December 12, 2015 Share December 12, 2015 Rye to the Judge: There's two ways this is gonna go. Judge: Is one of them the hard way? I like how she told Rye "You're kinda dim" -- nice pairing with Hank to Peggy "You're a bit touched, aren't ya?" 2 Link to comment
Ohwell December 20, 2015 Share December 20, 2015 (edited) Ohwell's 2015 Quote of the Year Award: Runner up: Karl: "Out of my way, tool of the state!" Winner: Hank: "You're a little touched, aren't ya?" Honorable Mention: Lou: "People are DEAD, Peggy!" Edited December 20, 2015 by Ohwell Link to comment
cpcathy December 20, 2015 Share December 20, 2015 Which character didn't have a great quote? Anything from Mike and Hank would be in the running for me, but my heart goes for Hank. Link to comment
AuntiePam December 20, 2015 Share December 20, 2015 Betsy had some good ones too. "How's Molly?" "Short." "Molly go down okay?" "She's not Pol Pot." Link to comment
Stratego December 20, 2015 Share December 20, 2015 Lou: "...you got a steamer trunk full of stupid..." Or, Hank: "Ya know, you're a shit cop." Oh well not every quote gets a medal. Link to comment
cpcathy December 20, 2015 Share December 20, 2015 It was Hank who mentioned the steamer trunk and Lou called Ben a shit cop. Link to comment
Inquisitionist December 21, 2015 Share December 21, 2015 Hank: Son, I could fill a steamer trunk with the amount of stupid I think you are. 1 Link to comment
j5cochran December 21, 2015 Share December 21, 2015 My favorite is still Peggy's line "It's just a flying saucer, Ed. We gotta go.". It's a great line and an incredible delivery! 2 Link to comment
shapeshifter December 21, 2015 Share December 21, 2015 Lou called Ben a shit cop.Which, as far as these threads are concerned, was the moment the character was christened with the name: Shit Cop. Link to comment
AuntiePam April 22, 2017 Share April 22, 2017 Ray to Maurice: 'Lets cut to the quick!' I didn't notice if Ray had any other malapropisms, but I did notice that one. 1 Link to comment
annzeepark914 April 23, 2017 Share April 23, 2017 I think there was another one but darned if I can remember it (too much going on, trying to absorb it all). But I'm sure going to be on the lookout for more of them! 1 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo April 23, 2017 Author Share April 23, 2017 (edited) Ray: Your last stretch was six and a half [years] for breaking into rich folks' digs and stealing their flat screens. Maurice: Allegedly. Ray: No, moron. How it works is when they convict you, it turns into a fact. Maurice: You ever think about how they never put a morgue on the top floor of a hospital? I notice stuff like that. It's always in the basement. It's like its own elevator. Maurice: Where does the President of the United States buy his clothes? Do they shut down like a whole JC Penney just so he can try on a suit? Therapist: There's a tailor. He comes to the White House. Maurice: Now, see, I didn't know that. Therapist: So when you say your parole officer was mean to you before, how does that make you feel? Maurice: You know. Just...not good. Gloria: Don't forget you're at your dad's this weekend. He and Dale are going to take you to the symphony. Nathan: So is Dale my other dad now? Gloria: Well, no. I mean, he and your dad haven't been together that long. But if they got married- Ennis: Not legal, is it? Two men. Gloria: If they did, well, you know how Ennis here is my stepfather. He married my mom after grandpa passed. Well, I guess Dale would become your stepfather. I think. I honestly don't know how it works. Ennis: I know how it works in the Bible. [Gloria gives Ennis a look] Gloria: Another beer, pops? Ennis: Now you're speaking English. Ray: My steely gaze striking fear into the hearts of the elderly. Nikki: Ray, there's a man in my bathroom. Ray: Now let's not jump to any conclusions. Nikki: You're saying he's not a man or he's not in my bathroom? Edited April 23, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo 3 Link to comment
Razzberry April 23, 2017 Share April 23, 2017 "We're a team, you and me. Simpatico to the point of spooky." 2 Link to comment
annzeepark914 April 23, 2017 Share April 23, 2017 How do they come up with these crazy lines? Some of them I miss due to the "accents" so, thanks! Link to comment
Nancypants April 24, 2017 Share April 24, 2017 Ok then. I consider the accent to be a character in itself. Link to comment
Razzberry April 26, 2017 Share April 26, 2017 (edited) Edited April 26, 2017 by Razzberry 1 Link to comment
Nancypants May 16, 2017 Share May 16, 2017 So, what kinda case ya on? Murder (Chipper response) Ok Then! Happy Trails! : no trace of irony: 1 Link to comment
ElectricBoogaloo May 18, 2017 Author Share May 18, 2017 (edited) Nikki: Keeping our faces slightly absurd. Ray: Obscured. Nikki: For Pete's sake, I'm wearing a hooker wig! That's gotta be bad luck. Varga: A fat woman is inherently untrustworthy as she is a sensualist who sees no real difference between a pastrami sandwich and a dick in the mouth. Varga: A chicken is an egg's way of making another egg. Sy: After all, how much money does one man need? Ruby: A lot, actually. Women, more so. Edited May 18, 2017 by ElectricBoogaloo 1 Link to comment
shapeshifter June 2, 2017 Share June 2, 2017 19 hours ago, Magic said: . . . Loved Sy's response to being accused to being in cahoots with Nikki (like some posters also have thought). That I decided to what? Turn on you? Join forces with your leptard brother and his syphilitic floozy so I could turn millions into thousands?” I will laugh at this quote the rest of my life. Really one thing this season has been very good for is quotes. Edited to say that I hope someone is collecting all the good quotes and putting them in the Fargo quote thread. Link to comment
cpcathy June 2, 2017 Share June 2, 2017 I don't know the whole speech, but Lou advising Ed and Peggy in season two, "You still think it's Tuesday." Link to comment
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