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S09.E12: The Ultimate Ultimatum


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Ok so it struck me when Kyle was yammering on about how strange it was that PK was ok with LVP and Ken but Dorit wasn't and "How does that work in a marriage" and "Maybe it's a work thing" or "Maybe they have some secrets" it reminded me of season 1 when Kyle was on the outs with "Camille You're A F*cking Liar" and Mauricio in no uncertain terms at lunch told Kyle to make it right because it was a "work thing" So Kyle, How does that work? I think she knows how that works.

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It's odd to me, since last season it seemed Kyle and Dorit were in competition over who was LVP's favorite. I wonder if Kyle was willing to join Teddi's plan to make Dorit look bad, so that she could claim the role of best friend, until Kyle realized she (they) could use this opportunity to take down LVP (I smell Rinna all over this).

Even now, when everyone is on the outs with LVP, Kyle seems jealous that PK has actually phoned and spoken to Ken, and is going to meet with him and LVP to try to smooth things over, while everyone else is whining that LVP hasn't called them.

I think that's what Kyle was really po'd about: PK won't go along with the plan, and is willing to grovel to stay in LVP and Kenny's good graces, for whatever self-serving reasons. Kyle flipped the script went out on a limb for Dorit in an effort to dethrone LVP, how dare he flip the flipped script on her in order to save whatever it is he gets from his relationship with the VDP-Todds! 

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44 minutes ago, SweetieDarling said:

It's odd to me, since last season it seemed Kyle and Dorit were in competition over who was LVP's favorite. I wonder if Kyle was willing to join Teddi's plan to make Dorit look bad, so that she could claim the role of best friend, until Kyle realized she (they) could use this opportunity to take down LVP (I smell Rinna all over this).

Even now, when everyone is on the outs with LVP, Kyle seems jealous that PK has actually phoned and spoken to Ken, and is going to meet with him and LVP to try to smooth things over, while everyone else is whining that LVP hasn't called them.

I think that's what Kyle was really po'd about: PK won't go along with the plan, and is willing to grovel to stay in LVP and Kenny's good graces, for whatever self-serving reasons. Kyle flipped the script went out on a limb for Dorit in an effort to dethrone LVP, how dare he flip the flipped script on her in order to save whatever it is he gets from his relationship with the VDP-Todds! 

Yep. And Kyle was at this stuff from the first episode, complaining to Lisa, that I do blah, blah, "but Dorit can drop off a dog.."

Maybe that was the straw that broke the camel's back for Kyle, and so what was originally going to be one plan, morphed into another (with assistance and encouragement from Rinna). Teddi's personality strikes me as part "I'm not going to take this!" and part "easily manipulated", with those two traits together, and a little encouragement that highlights the injustice of Lisa "getting away with this stuff for so long! Doing it to everyone! Everyone says so!" I can really see her making the call to Radar Online, thinking she was doing a bad thing for a good cause. (She wasn't of course, but I could see her reasoning it out like that.)

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(edited)
3 hours ago, jinjer said:

Ok so it struck me when Kyle was yammering on about how strange it was that PK was ok with LVP and Ken but Dorit wasn't and "How does that work in a marriage" and "Maybe it's a work thing" or "Maybe they have some secrets" it reminded me of season 1 when Kyle was on the outs with "Camille You're A F*cking Liar" and Mauricio in no uncertain terms at lunch told Kyle to make it right because it was a "work thing" So Kyle, How does that work? I think she knows how that works.

OK, Kyle you can't understand a husband and wife disagreeing about an argument between friends and how that works? PK not  blindly and completely taking Dorit's side?

Ken defending Lisa and taking her side against Kyle and the other bitches is how it works, dumbass. 

That works in a marriage.

We haven't heard a word from Mauricio. When is he going to chime in on this situation?

Edited by Happy Camper
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On 5/3/2019 at 11:30 AM, langford peel said:

 Conversely if the one reality show is full of chuckleheads who owe their fame and personal fortunes directly to me and they are ungrateful and find me to be manipulative in making them rich and famous.....why I will go out and get a new bunch of chuckleheads.

Conversely if a group of so called strong and independent women feel I can manipulate them like puppets and think that I am a liar and not a good friend......I will get some new friends who are strong enough to stand on their own two feet.

Personally, I find it very hard to believe in a scenario where LVP is a blameless victim surrounded by a whole bunch of jealous "chuckle heads" who are to completely to blame for any conflict involving her.

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3 hours ago, SweetieDarling said:

Kyle seems jealous that PK has actually phoned and spoken to Ken, and is going to meet with him and LVP to try to smooth things over,

Kyle seems jealous of ANYONE stepping into a relationship with LVP. Kyle appears very possessive of LVP. and where has it gotten her? 

However, if LVP leaves RHOBH, the rest of these shrews might be entertaining to watch as they start hen pecking each other. I want to see Rinna go up against Erika! 😁

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10 hours ago, TVFANNO1 said:

I don't understand why they don't realise that the £5K fee is ONLY WHEN THE DOG IS NOT RETURNED TO VPD.

Yeah....for a rescue group to tell adopters they will be fined $5000.00 for returning that pet back to them if it doesn't work out, is laughable. 

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(edited)
1 hour ago, PhilMarlowe2 said:

Personally, I find it very hard to believe in a scenario where LVP is a blameless victim surrounded by a whole bunch of jealous "chuckle heads" who are to completely to blame for any conflict involving her.

I agree. I think all the women with the exception of Denise could have been kinder to LVP, but I don't think they're all horrible jealous bitches against a saint either. I had a coworker who complained about a bunch of other coworkers being unkind to her and jealous of her success at the company. When I first met her, she took me under her wing (or so I thought) and seemed like a really sweet person. I thought oh poor thing, how awful and unfair to be nice and isolated from everyone else in the office due to jealousy. Then I got to know her. The common denominator was her for a reason. She was completely two-faced, very cutthroat, and had no problem screwing people she called friends over. She also typically only had one or two work friends/allies in the office at a time, always the new girl or guy. She'd eventually stab you in the back, so no one ever maintained a friendship with her very long. I learned to watch out anytime a big group of people all have a problem with someone. 

I'm not saying LVP is the same kind of person as my coworker, as I haven't seen LVP do anything that terrible. I think the other women have overreacted to the things they think Lisa's done or possibly done. However, I see that LVP does possess certain qualities that make it hard for the others. Like my old coworker, LVP usually gets along with the newbie and doesn't maintain work friendships long term. That happened with Brandi, Yolanda, Rinna, Eileen, Teddi, and Dorit. I think like I did with my coworker, initially I experienced nothing but loveliness so I gave her the benefit of the doubt, then I put up space when I learned she wasn't to be trusted. 

Edited by RealHousewife
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(edited)
46 minutes ago, Stats Queen said:

When all his toenails have been clipped

Maybe Mauricio is trying to keep a low profile due to the recent legal issues regarding his real estate business. I forgot exactly (or even remotely!) what the lawsuit was about. Because I don't care 😁

Edited by chenoa333
Smokin' hot Jamaican
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4 minutes ago, chenoa333 said:

Maybe he's trying to keep a low profile due to the recent legal issues regarding his real estate business. I forgot exactly (or even remotely!) what the lawsuit was about. Because I don't care 😁

Well, that’s more likely than the toenail situation 🤪

Man, I hope we hear more about these lawsuits - Maurico, Tom Girardi, PukeK and Dorit.

This puppygate crap is getting really old and there’s all this other juicy stuff....

Bravo really has lost the concept of what makes these shows enjoyable- drama is great, but stupid drama and nothing else.

Mexican Dynasties is a breath of fresh air

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1 hour ago, PhilMarlowe2 said:

Personally, I find it very hard to believe in a scenario where LVP is a blameless victim surrounded by a whole bunch of jealous "chuckle heads" who are to completely to blame for any conflict involving her.

When I was referring to chuckleheads I was referring to the cast of Vanderpump Rules who are nominally her employees and who have each and every one given her just cause to fire. They remain on Lisa sufferance and because they are cast members of the show. Some were fired as employees of SUR and remain on the show. However I bet if Lisa put her foot down they would be replaced.

The women on Beverly Hills are not chuckleheads. They are worthless bitches who pose as strong independent women who are in fact either grifters or trophy wives or simply highly functioning morons who are not in control of their actions. Or so they claim. Now they are on their own as the Puppet Master has left the building. Let's see how wonderful their lives will be now that they are free!!!!!!!!

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1 hour ago, chenoa333 said:

Maybe Mauricio is trying to keep a low profile due to the recent legal issues regarding his real estate business. I forgot exactly (or even remotely!) what the lawsuit was about. Because I don't care 😁

I doubt it.  He's been on Bravo.com promoting listings.  Most recent one is in Malibu and the other is the Full House San Francisco home that was shown the beginning of every episode.  And just an aside, Aunt Becky may be tainted but certainly not the series.

Someone filing a lawsuit doesn't mean the person who you are filing against is guilty.  Ask LVP and Kenny.

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1 hour ago, breezy424 said:

I doubt it.  He's been on Bravo.com promoting listings.  Most recent one is in Malibu and the other is the Full House San Francisco home that was shown the beginning of every episode.  And just an aside, Aunt Becky may be tainted but certainly not the series.

Someone filing a lawsuit doesn't mean the person who you are filing against is guilty.  Ask LVP and Kenny.

Mauricio would never abandon the cameras! He’s been waiting for a new batch of Agency t-shirts to wear when he weighs in on the situation. He’ll be back any moment.

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8 hours ago, breezy424 said:

I doubt it.  He's been on Bravo.com promoting listings.  Most recent one is in Malibu and the other is the Full House San Francisco home that was shown the beginning of every episode.  And just an aside, Aunt Becky may be tainted but certainly not the series.

Someone filing a lawsuit doesn't mean the person who you are filing against is guilty.  Ask LVP and Kenny.

He needs Kyle more than she needs him.

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13 hours ago, PhilMarlowe2 said:

Personally, I find it very hard to believe in a scenario where LVP is a blameless victim surrounded by a whole bunch of jealous "chuckle heads" who are to completely to blame for any conflict involving her.

This has always been my biggest issue with LVP. I've always stated that I don't think the women are being 'manipulated'. Ever since Kyle made that accusation against her, she has been more than happy to discuss this with everyone (whether she and LVP are on good terms or not) about how manipulative and essentially mean LVP can be. At this point, I think 'manipulation' has become a bandwagon term. That said, LVP always likes to raise her hands in innocence and act like she has no knowledge of anything. It would be easier for her to cop to knowing things behind the scenes than it would be to deny all of it and then the conversation, like clockwork, becomes about her and not the person who actually did or said something stupid. It would haven't been easier to say:

  • Yeah, Brandi brought out the magazines and I made a stupid joke about packing it for the trip for some light reading but I at no point ever thought she would do that and make it an issue on the trip.
  • Yeah, Blizzard and Sessa said they're were going to recruit you to help get Lucy some airtime and I joked that they should just get Teddi to adopt Lucy instead.

The Munchausen thing is hard to say because her and Rinna quibbled over the difference of one word and what it implied with respect to Kyle. And the tabloid accusations are either you did or didn't do it. She definitely shouldn't have gone as far as to say that no one she knows or works with leaked stories because you can't ever truly know or speak for someone. I mean, that's what she said when the Mauricio story was leaked. Ken adamantly denied it possibly being true and LVP casually replied with something to the effect of 'well you can't 100% vouch for someone because you never know'.

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On 4/30/2019 at 10:09 PM, chenoa333 said:

Can we get Camille to host another dinner for the ladies with Alison DuBois as a guest? 😁

If DuBois shows up, count me out.  She is vile

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45 minutes ago, oceanview said:

If DuBois shows up, count me out.  She is vile

Yes, she is! But so are some of the BH "Housewives".....remember Kim Richards? Brandi Glanville? 

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When Kyle described her attachment parenting and said that her oldest daughter slept in her and Mauricio's bed until she was around eight years old, I wondered how the daughter's father felt about that. (In an earlier season Kyle said that her oldest daughter had a very close relationship with her father, Kyle's ex). I can't imagine a divorced father being comfortable with the idea of his young daughter sharing a bed with his ex-wife's new husband, i.e., a grown man, every night for years.

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16 hours ago, oceanview said:

If DuBois shows up, count me out.  She is vile

15 hours ago, chenoa333 said:

Yes, she is! But so are some of the BH "Housewives".....remember Kim Richards? Brandi Glanville? 

Ha. I'd take Dubois, Kim and Brandi any day over Erika, Teddi and Rinna. 

On 4/30/2019 at 11:09 PM, chenoa333 said:

Can we get Camille to host another dinner for the ladies with Alison DuBois as a guest? 😁

Best show ever, by far!

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6 hours ago, Dutchgirl said:

Ha. I'd take Dubois, Kim and Brandi any day over Erika, Teddi and Rinna. 

Best show ever, by far!

It would definitely be entertaining. Certainly not company I’d want myself though! Lol I’d much prefer the second group of girls.

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What did Dorit call Camille that night at dinner? Some type of C*nt? So if a contest with Worthless Bitches or Chuckleheads, I think Dorit's moniker was more apropos.

I think LVP does all this shit they accuse her of, I just think this season wasn't the right season to accuse her of manipulation bc she herself brought the issue right out on camera herself without mincing words or hinting or "you never know", Dorit talked about it on camera and Teddi was a ready willing and able participant who actually came up with the plan and then withheld that information forever PLUS LVP's brother died. Kyle is all involved over jealousy over Dorit, Dorit dumped the dog and still won't accept responsibility for doing so, and Teddi is trying to minimize her own behavior (hiding the extent of her involvement) by claiming she was manipulated rather than "I hated Dorit and was all in!" Rinna and Erika just want LVP gone. They look and sound ridiculous. 

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I was thinking that Dorit looked particularly nice in that scene at her "office," and then I realized it was because she had normal clothes and hair for once. 

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On 5/2/2019 at 4:34 AM, Beachdreamer said:

Dorit, in this episode, said to Lisa why can't we agree to disagree on this.  Kyle used the same wording in an interview posted on her thread. 

I find this so bizarre.  They are not talking about a subject upon which one would agree to disagree.  The subject is- Lisa schemed to hurt Dorit then lied about it.  Why would Lisa agree to disagree on this, and then move on happily. 

Why would anyone do this?  She'd be agreeing to sit there and shop and dine and travel with someone who thinks she's a person of poor character and integrity.  Life is too short, and she already has fame and money, so she doesn't need to agree to those terms so that she can be on the show.  And she already told us in the Bahamas that she is currently acutely aware that life is too short.

I don't blame the other women for thinking she's behind this.  I don't, but hey, they are there and they know her better than I do, so they're entitled to think she is behind it.  It's just bizarre that they think that they should be thinking it and saying it while still hanging out with Lisa as a friend.

This so much! I honestly do not understand the position of the anti-Lisa coalition. Not the part where they think she is behind shady business, I think everyone one of them is shady and at this point I would believe any of them leaked the story, but the part where they want LVP to understand that they all hate her and still want to be friends. What?!?!?!? I am not friends with people I hate or people who hate me. If I was either Dorit or LVP in this situation my friendship would be over. From Dorit’s point of view LVP purposely tried to set up a public shaming and lied about it. From LVP’s point of view a friend has accused her of horrible conduct and refused to believe her based on random shit going on in Teddi’s brain. Either way, no. This friendship is over. The stance of “let’s agree to disagree about if you’re a immoral monster and move on with our friendship” is legitimately crazy. The fact that LVP is the only one who recognizes that this is coo-coo for coco puffs is part of why I’m on her side. 

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3 hours ago, FozzyBear said:

This so much! I honestly do not understand the position of the anti-Lisa coalition. Not the part where they think she is behind shady business, I think everyone one of them is shady and at this point I would believe any of them leaked the story, but the part where they want LVP to understand that they all hate her and still want to be friends. What?!?!?!? I am not friends with people I hate or people who hate me. If I was either Dorit or LVP in this situation my friendship would be over. From Dorit’s point of view LVP purposely tried to set up a public shaming and lied about it. From LVP’s point of view a friend has accused her of horrible conduct and refused to believe her based on random shit going on in Teddi’s brain. Either way, no. This friendship is over. The stance of “let’s agree to disagree about if you’re a immoral monster and move on with our friendship” is legitimately crazy. The fact that LVP is the only one who recognizes that this is coo-coo for coco puffs is part of why I’m on her side. 

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On 5/19/2019 at 1:13 PM, FozzyBear said:

This so much! I honestly do not understand the position of the anti-Lisa coalition. Not the part where they think she is behind shady business, I think everyone one of them is shady and at this point I would believe any of them leaked the story, but the part where they want LVP to understand that they all hate her and still want to be friends. What?!?!?!? I am not friends with people I hate or people who hate me. If I was either Dorit or LVP in this situation my friendship would be over. From Dorit’s point of view LVP purposely tried to set up a public shaming and lied about it. From LVP’s point of view a friend has accused her of horrible conduct and refused to believe her based on random shit going on in Teddi’s brain. Either way, no. This friendship is over. The stance of “let’s agree to disagree about if you’re a immoral monster and move on with our friendship” is legitimately crazy. The fact that LVP is the only one who recognizes that this is coo-coo for coco puffs is part of why I’m on her side. 

It really sounds like some cold war era detente or mutual non-aggression pact. What kind of "friendships" do these people have that they agree to this? At least on show like Vanderpump Rules, Below Deck, or even Million Dollar Listing their primary interactions are supposed to center around work and business. It would be great if they were friends, but it's not necessary. However, these women are supposed to be friends. Who wants to watch a bunch of "friends" who treat each other like coworkers? It's like when all of that shit went down with the cast of Sex and the City and SJP tried to bully Kim Cattrall into signing on for a 3rd film. They are literally actors whose job it is to portray fictional characters who are friends. And yet, it really would diminish the experience knowing Cattrall is basically there under duress. And none of the women on RHoBH have half the talent of Cattrall or Cynthia Nixon as we plainly saw when Kyle was forced to provide an awkward lead in to LVP's lie detector test.

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This whole anti-LVP line is making all the others very unlikable to me and I don't enjoy watching as much anymore. I do think it's amusing to see them making fools out of themselves as they try to make it appear as if they are having the times of their lives with each other. 

Teddi's voice irritates. I wonder how many times Rinna and Kyle practice making shocked faces in the mirror.

I don't think that you even have to be an LVP fan to be annoyed by these women and this season.

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On 4/30/2019 at 6:49 PM, BloggerAloud said:

I think the greater point is that if Dorit chooses to believe that, why should LVP be friends with her? And to LVP's point, why would Dorit want to be friends with LVP if she thinks that LVP is a liar and planted the story? Like saying, "I think you're lying and had something to do with BUT let's move on from this" seems like an insane statement to make, if only because why would you ever want to be friends with that person if you truly believe that.

I kind of understand it -- as the Dowager Lady Grantham once said, "If I struck everyone from my address book who said something bad about me, my book would be empty".  Maybe that's Dorit's position too.  She knows she's a natural walking target and accepts it.

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Just watching this episode with the lunch(?) with LVP/Ken/Dorit/PK. WHY is the camera person constantly zooming in on that scrumptous looking sushi meal? Please send the leftovers to me! 😁

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On 5/2/2019 at 11:50 PM, smores said:

Maybe if his arms were broken? Kyle had make-up people there for her kids, why not just have someone there for mani/pedis too?  My husband can either handle his own toenails or join me for a pedi. 

I have always thought that being a great mother was a part of Kyle's identity.  It's something she wears like a hat, not so much something she's doing for the kids.  I mean, yes, of course she loves her kids, but a lot of what she's saying she does "for the kids" is actually more about herself and her needs.  Portia sleeping in their bed, the breakfast in bed, even Mauricio's toenails, all of that is feeding the need in her to be "the best mom and wife on the planet!"  

No, the NEL goes to Boy George.

So in this version of the story, Dorit manages to tell us that Madison bit both kids, but NOT PK.  Only in previous versions we're told that they got rid of Madison because PK was bitten in the face (which is where that charming drunk close up came from).  That photo is also sometimes attributed to a bite from Lucy.  But most of the time it's Madison.  

This story has no mention of the center sending out a trainer for Lucy, or Lucy biting.  And we somehow we now learn that they were actually going to give her TWO dogs, instead of just Lucy.  That seems like something that would have come up before now.  Finally, we see several pictures of Lucy with the kids, then Dorit tells us all about how she has pictures of Lucy in her "lovely new home" but we don't see them.  Why? I can't see why you wouldn't want to show proof that the dog was in it's new home, particularly if it was just in the dog bed, like you said.  

Oh, and also after all this time, how could you not provide LVP the name of the person you gave the dog to? Why has that person not come forward and explained that their mother was terribly ill?  How did you not lead with that fact back in September?

There is NEVER more to the story.  They always hope there will be proof, but it turns out they're just being awful and hope you will get distracted.

Does Teddi have a tattoo on her finger or is that a wart?

It was far less embarrassing than Kyle's little family interlude. 

Well, when they dropped the older one off at college this season, she thought toilet's cleaned themselves, so . . . I don't really think Kyle's winning the game here.

I've seen the final result of this card.  It is heavily photoshopped and doesn't look at all like the "we've got it!" shot.

I can't eat first thing in the morning and I never could.  Most of the time I ended up eating some toast or a granola bar on the way to school as a kid.  Now I eat something a few hours after I get up, or I just wait until lunch.  I've never really believed the whole "breakfast is the most important meal" thing, because I'd literally make myself sick if I tried to stuff down a bunch of food.  

What really surprised me in that scene is that Kyle made a whole bunch of food and seemed to be having a somewhat routine fight with Portia to eat.  Which means there has to be a lot of food wasted in that house! Why not at least ask her what she wants before you throw a bunch of stuff together? It looked like she dumped milk on the cereal, so it's not likely someone will eat that left over.  She nibbled at the egg and toast, so that got wasted.  Basically only the berries can be "saved"  

All these theories on why Portia is so pampered.  Here's what I see:

Kyle and Mauricio retire around 9:30-10:00 p.m.  Portia is up playing on her computer.  She's told several times it's time to turn off her computer and go to bed.  Mom and Dad go to bed and Portia stays up until 2:00-3:00 a.m. playing on her computer.

Then at 7:00 a.m. when it's time to get up and start moving and getting ready for the day, Portia has barely had enough sleep to operate on.  THAT's why the kid is practically comatose when it's time to get dressed, eat something and get to school.

I had one like this (a boy) and that's how I recognize the behavior.  He was in high school, so I wasn't putting his sockies on or anything, but it was hell every morning getting him out the door.

I found a thing for his computer called a hard drive caddie.  It holds the hard drive and configures it more like a flash drive (this was before flash drives).  When it's time to power off, you can push a button and the hard drive ejects.  I took it to my bedroom with me.  Perfect solution - total temporary disabling of a computer. 

That was also before iPhones, though.

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