S09.E11: Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

[Jel]

I think Lisa will come back next year only if there is a major cast shakeup; she'd be nuts to return to more gang ups. Rinna and Teddi at least would have to go.  I can't see Kyle being fired though, and if she's still there she'll try to poison any new people against Lisa, because that's what she does. So nope, that won't work, unless... the cast next year includes HWs like Kathryn and Joyce, or others who are actual friends of Lisa's, and who aren't so thirsty and gullible that they'll get sucked into Kyle Richards's conspiracy theory.  

If that's not going to happen then I don't think she should return, certainly not with the way things are.  I hope she focuses on developing new shows because she does make entertaining tv. And that way they can leave the current cast as is, and it'll be kind of schadenfreude-y enjoyable to watch them interact with each other once the "common enemy" that unites them is gone. 

[aimlessbird]

I just read on Twitter that Boy George was in prison for 15 months because  he held a man captive against his will and beat the man with chains.  This was during Boy George's drug addicted days but I found it to be sickening nonetheless.  https://www.irishmirror.ie/boy-george-reveals-shame-keeping-9828147

[suomi]

2 hours ago, Dance4Life said:

Erika Jayne....I am sold out, sold out! Why doesn’t she just say, I had 100 people at my show last night.  Keep it 💯, girl!

(now, that Boy George + Co concert....that was a packed crowd!)

(Truly.

The capacity at the Greek is 5,870).

[breezy424]

5 hours ago, KungFuBunny said:

For Breezy424:

We need to ask Dorit if she's Camille Type 1 or Camille Type 2

LOVE IT!!!!  You made my day!

[breezy424]

5 hours ago, smores said:

I don't have a dog, a kid or a yard.  I'll go on record, though, and say that if I did, the dog would have an area of the yard that it was allowed to use for bathroom purposes, which was the case for all of the dogs in my family that were around when I was growing up.  For example, my one grandparent's dog was allowed anywhere in the yard, but bathroom purposes were only behind the garage so there was no danger of anyone ever running into rogue poop while out playing.  And I wouldn't let a kid use the yard as a toilet, because it's not a thing that I'm fond of seeing.  Out hiking or camping? Sure, that's one thing.  Out playing in the backyard? Nope, we have a bathroom inside, the backyard is not your toilet.

Well, all I can say is good for you.  I have had kids and dogs.  Stuff happens.  You can tell your kids not to use the yard for bathroom purposes and they follow that rule 99% of the time but life ain't perfect all the time. 

Kids also have accidents.  Pets also have accidents.

I just don't see it as 'that' big of a deal.  It could be way worse. 

[Blondie]

13 hours ago, breezy424 said:

Well, all I can say is good for you.  I have had kids and dogs.  Stuff happens.  You can tell your kids not to use the yard for bathroom purposes and they follow that rule 99% of the time but life ain't perfect all the time. 

Kids also have accidents.  Pets also have accidents.

I just don't see it as 'that' big of a deal.  It could be way worse. 

Not a big deal here either.  I have dogs and grand kids.  the poop gets picked up, if the grand kids drop trou and water a bush or tree its no big deal.  if by accident someone gets poo on their shoe I would rather have that than one of my little ones going barefoot through grass that has been sprayed and weeded with some chemical.   Btw  I live out in the country.  Lots of rabbits and they don't care where they drop their little black bbs.  My pool has little green frogs that like to hang out, and sometimes swim with you.  My yard isn't a toilet, it's an adventure.

[langford peel]

Did you see the clip for next weeks episode on the Bravo website? It shows the lunch that PO and Dorito has with Lisa and Ken.

When Lisa asks if they believe her when she swears that she didn’t give the story to Radar Dorito says she doesn’t believe her. Dorito was staring down at the table like she was reading something. Ken stands up and says “If that’s the case there is no friendship here” and walks away. Dorito gives here patented bug eyed shocked face that she gets every episode. That’s the nub of the matter.

You see these other women think this is the normal housewives bullshit. They don’t understand why Lisa won’t take her beating and beg for their forgiveness. Lisa has had enough of this nonsense and is walking away. They are not her friends. They are not even Hollywood Reality Show friends. It’s over.

[abc123]

I think I’m the only person who doesn’t mind PK (doggygate and questionable finances notwithstanding).  🤷🏻‍♀️

I liked how he defended Dorit with a reasonable amount of interest, but not too much aggression in early seasons. I think most times he really doesn’t look that bad. I mean he’s not a super-stud obviously, but he is not as piggy as everyone makes it out to be in my opinion. And I think he’s funny and speaks the truth a lot. Definitely did not think his comment to Kyle was that bad. Margarita Kyle overreacted. 

[Jel]

1 hour ago, abc123 said:

I think I’m the only person who doesn’t mind PK (doggygate and questionable finances notwithstanding).  🤷🏻‍♀️

I liked how he defended Dorit with a reasonable amount of interest, but not too much aggression in early seasons. I think most times he really doesn’t look that bad. I mean he’s not a super-stud obviously, but he is not as piggy as everyone makes it out to be in my opinion. And I think he’s funny and speaks the truth a lot. Definitely did not think his comment to Kyle was that bad. Margarita Kyle overreacted. 

There are worse looking dudes in the world, I like that he stands up for his wife, and that joke was a perfect example of British humor, imo, so for him, natural and not out of line amongst people who share a similar sense of humor.  (But the dog stuff, nope, deal breaker for me. )

Margarita Kyle -- that's hilarious. Funny how she expects Lisa to show up and be dumped on by five women at every single event because, honesty!, but can't herself stand to stay there and face something for even a full five minutes before storming off, outraged. All the other Hws agreed with her about it, but imagine how she would have taken it if all the other HWs said, "yep, we agree with PK".  She's the Tamra of BH. 

[Higgins]

I like Kim Richards better than Kyle. 

[oceanview]

On ‎4‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 12:25 AM, smores said:

I know the conversation that you are referring to, but I also don't remember which show it was on.  I think, though, that the context wasn't so much a slight on Max or even saying that he wasn't a hard worker, but she was more making the point that the children were just very different and she was never sure if that was a factor of nature vs nurture.  If I remember correctly, Pandora went to college, worked her way up in the business and is pretty much in charge of the alcohol line.  Max, on the other hand, was going to music school when the show first started, but then maybe didn't finish? Then he was going to be a bus boy, but he wasn't doing so great with that (and LVP made the point then that Pandora had started at the bottom as well).  But he'd eventually gotten on track, and after doing better for a few years, that's when LVP bought him the condo, as he'd shown growth.  

I took the conversation in the same vein as someone might have where they have 3 kids, all raised the same and 2 are similar but one is just a totally different personality type.  Maybe way more driven or maybe way more of a slacker, but like they came from a whole different family.  In LVP's case, though, since she only has 2 kids and she gave birth to one and adopted the other, I'd imagine you might wonder which traits were which.  And conversely, maybe did you make mistakes in parenting Max because you didn't realize at the time that he was so different in personality? 

I always thought the moment where Kim gave back the bunny was a good illustration of Kyle's blind loyalty.  She and Rinna had been friends for years, I get that you are in a weird position between your friend saying shit about your sister, but, the bunny thing was just weird.  If my sibling planned to do something like that I'd have strongly encouraged them to not do it, because what's the point? There isn't anything to be gained by giving it back, just toss it and move on.  If someone mentions it at the reunion, be like Bunny? Oh, yeah that.  That was sweet of you, thanks.  Then move on like you'd forgotten all about it.

If they had persisted in doing it? Then I'd have said listen, I don't like everything that this person has said about you and I've told them they were wrong for it.  But, this isn't a cool thing to do, there was no purpose but to be mean and spiteful and if you really don't want anything to do with them, then why would you take a jab at them? This wasn't a good look for you.  And I'd say it on camera if I were in Kyle's shoes, because if Lisa were my friend, I think it's important to say, look, you have been a bitch, but this was also not cool for her to do.  But, nope, Kyle was giggling her ass off and trying to gnaw her hand off so it didn't show.  

I wanted to comment on Max, sorry I could not figure how to show just that section.  I got the same vibes about  Lisa's comment on Max also, not a personal attack or complaint, just a neutral comment about how different children could be, even in the same family.   I have a recollection that at one point, we had not seen Max much and there was some thought he was having "issues" and was away someplace for help or whatever.    I think at lot had to do with his age and his family being on TV.  It was not his thing, as I recall.    He was a late bloomer and every child has several factors making up their personality.   Sometimes genetic and if there is no history of the original parent, it can be difficult to know.  I think Ken and Lisa love and did well by both their children.

[oceanview]

On ‎4‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 2:49 PM, AnnieHeights said:

I am posting late but here are some thoughts:

Boy George/Billy Idol......my inner 16 year old self would have been super excited to meet them and my 50 year old self would be sad to see Billy Idol not look like the poster I had of him on my bedroom wall growing up.  

Portia......I am relieved to find out I am not the only person who doesn't think she is cute.  I honestly never have.  I don't mind minor 'mommy moments' like Kyle's daughters going off to college or things that humanize the housewives more but I do not enjoy them trying to push their children's careers on us.  The only time that worked was with the Hadid's since they turned out to be a really big deal.       

LVP.......I have always liked her and probably always will although she is not the innocent she likes to portray herself as all the time.  I am in the minority on this but I love a good kitchen makeover so I am liking this particular story line.  Count me in on not liking Lisa talking sexual when it comes to her animals.....

Kyle.....Same as LVP, I do like her but every last one who has been on the show has likable moments and unlikable ones.  I will miss her and Lisa's friendship if this is never resolved.  Agree with the person who said she really does seem very materialistic the last couple of seasons.  She lives in my favorite house out of all the housewives (the outside anyway).  

Teddi......Liked her last season and now not so much.  

Dorit..........Not much I can muster positive about her and I don't think her kids are cute either although I am very glad Jagger speaks now.

Lisa R........I am 50/50 with her......she can be quite funny and I like how she is honest about being a hustler but she loves stirring a pot.  I think my love for Billie on Days makes it harder for me to dislike her completely.

Camille..... I despised her when she was full time and turns out she is still pretty much the same....she brings a lovely wardrobe though.

Denise........I agree with the majority who like her and she seems sweet and is obviously a good mother but I do not need to hear all the sex talk and I swear I am not a prude but some things I just don't want to know.          

Boy, you saved me a lot of typing!  And I appreciate it very much.   Your comments came across as if they were my own...…. I might take exception to one or two very minor points, but right on target otherwise.

Kyle:  Give it a rest.  We know you have the money.  Good taste is not  a given.  And people with new money are the ones that flaunt it IMO

Camille : Definitely has the best wardrobe;  I still like her, although I noticed the last couple of episodes, drinking is not her friend 

Denise:   I would also enjoy her hanging around if she dropped the sex talk.  Just so unladylike to me.    Speaking of unladylike, Lisa R can go anytime.  Sooner the better.

[Adeejay]

On ‎4‎/‎23‎/‎2019 at 10:19 PM, ChitChat said:

The lesson for Kyle should be to quit trying to stick up for other people and mind your own damn business. 

Based on her upbringing, I am surprise Kyle is unaware that, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions" and "No good deed goes unpunished."

[oceanview]

On ‎4‎/‎25‎/‎2019 at 3:35 PM, politichick said:

I'm not an animal lover, but found it funny. Lisa and the camera guy probably totally set that up. 

Agreed about the kids, particularly on this show. They bring absolutely nothing to the table. Say what you will about Phaedra, though. Her kid was fun to watch in little doses.

Read the link above about PK. He was quite the power player, it seems. But also is probably a degenerate gambler, which led him to make some questionable choices in 2008 and after. Throughout this whole puppygate BS, he has been very measured, probably in part because he may need a loan from the Vanderpump-Todds or at the very least cannot afford to lose this RHOVH gig.

I really don't like Teddi and don't think she adds anything to this show. She thinks she's a cool girl now and it's not a good look, in part because she's very uncool, as Luann would say. And she's such a buttinsky who needs to STFU instead of interjecting herself into everyone's conversations. Lisa was quite nice to her last year and when these bitches fall, she's going to find out she's bet on the wrong horse.

In my humble opinion, the show could stand to lose Teddi and Erika, whose shtick is getting old. Also not a LisaR fan. I kind of enjoy the grifters, PK and Dorit, though I hope she stops with the weird fashion/hair looks because she looks insane. 

I read that PK article you referred to and, not understanding many of the financial things  involved, I got the impression  PK  is a Warren Buffet wannabe and failed miserably;   You are probably right on target that he needs a loan or two or at least the job on the Housewives.  Dorit will be beside herself if she loses that gig and perhaps kick him to the curb in the process.  These people are so shallow

[lilmarysunshine]

On 4/23/2019 at 11:07 PM, bravofan27 said:

I had a convo about this at work today. Social media are kids worlds these days. Young kids live and thrive on it. It's just a whole different thing from when we were kids, I can't understand it, but I think being a youtuber is probably what most kids these days aspire to be. Regular teens  can make tons of money through advertisers if they have followers. The young kids get it and want to do it. 

Perhaps I am hopelessly old-fashioned (even though I teach high school and am immersed in that workd in some ways) but I don’t want my kids to be youtube influencers. I don’t care how much they are paid. I think a lot of it is fundamentally dishonest - shilling products they don’t really use, for example. Does not sound very intellectually rewarding, either. But mostly I don’t want my children to give up their privacy for monetary gain. 

[Shellbell59]

On 4/23/2019 at 10:59 PM, UsernameFatigue said:

Waayyy too many kids on that episode. Portia is not cute, either in looks or personality. Ditto Jagger. I did laugh at the look Portia's friend gave Dorito and Kyle when they tried to dump Dorito's kids on her and Portia. That didn't appear to last long, not surprisingly. 

Does Jagger often go around peeing in other people's yards? Or his own for that matter? Guess there was no nanny handy to take him to the bathroom. I was wondering as he peed on Kyle's grass if kids' urine burns grass like dog urine can? Thankfully I have never had a kid urinate on my grass to find out. 

Similarly I was annoyed at Teddi's kid having a meltdown on camera. Not at the kid per se, but that fact that he was even on camera. With both her nanny and hubby there, there was no reason for the kid to be anywhere within sight of the cameras or howives. Not entertaining, in the least.

Speaking of not entertaining, LVP said a few weeks ago on ET that she stopped filming with the ladies half way through the season. Aren't we past that mark now? Why is she still on my TV? Talk about the long goodbye........

Yes to all of this

ESPECIALLY the “dead eye” look Portia’s friend gave to the toddlers Jag and Phoenix....

it was of putting and odd enough I backed up recording to see if I read it wrong...but no....

having experience in juvenile law....I’d want to watch her.

she had to know she was being filmed...perhaps she’s just hyper- jaded because parents may be in the biz....

it was just odd...her look/reaction to the kids

[Rosiejuliemom]

On 4/25/2019 at 10:24 PM, breezy424 said:

Well, all I can say is good for you.  I have had kids and dogs.  Stuff happens.  You can tell your kids not to use the yard for bathroom purposes and they follow that rule 99% of the time but life ain't perfect all the time. 

Kids also have accidents.  Pets also have accidents.

I just don't see it as 'that' big of a deal.  It could be way worse. 

My dogs and kids have both done some business in the yard. Hell, one time the dog lifted his leg and peed on my oldest daughter when they were outside. By the time I realized what he was doing, it was all over except for her walking up to me and saying "He...he peed on me!" in the most incredulous tone of voice I've ever heard.

On 4/26/2019 at 12:45 PM, langford peel said:

Did you see the clip for next weeks episode on the Bravo website? It shows the lunch that PO and Dorito has with Lisa and Ken.

When Lisa asks if they believe her when she swears that she didn’t give the story to Radar Dorito says she doesn’t believe her. Dorito was staring down at the table like she was reading something. Ken stands up and says “If that’s the case there is no friendship here” and walks away. Dorito gives here patented bug eyed shocked face that she gets every episode. That’s the nub of the matter.

You see these other women think this is the normal housewives bullshit. They don’t understand why Lisa won’t take her beating and beg for their forgiveness. Lisa has had enough of this nonsense and is walking away. They are not her friends. They are not even Hollywood Reality Show friends. It’s over.

It never fails to astonish me how these women rip apart everything Lisa does and then turn around and act oh-so-hurt when she doesn't want to be around them.

Dorit's shocked face is reminiscent of a blow up doll and seeing it every episode is making my eye twitch.

[Stats Queen]

1 hour ago, Rosiejuliemom said:

Dorit's shocked face is reminiscent of a blow up doll and seeing it every episode is making my eye twitch

Well, now I going to have some disturbing dreams 🙀

[KungFuBunny]

1 hour ago, Stats Queen said:

Well, now I going to have some disturbing dreams 🙀

Dorit makes this face every time Pk waddles towards her nekkid

[RealHousewife]

8 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

Perhaps I am hopelessly old-fashioned (even though I teach high school and am immersed in that workd in some ways) but I don’t want my kids to be youtube influencers. I don’t care how much they are paid. I think a lot of it is fundamentally dishonest - shilling products they don’t really use, for example. Does not sound very intellectually rewarding, either. But mostly I don’t want my children to give up their privacy for monetary gain. 

Some people have no problem being in the public eye, but I feel the same way. I wouldn't want to be a youtuber myself, because I like my privacy. I don't think there's anything wrong with being one, as long as you're not promoting products you don't use. I think there are some youtubers who are more honest than others. I know people who youtube, and none of them pretend to use anything they don't. 

Edited April 28, 2019 by RealHousewife

[film noire]

On 4/24/2019 at 5:51 AM, MrsWitter said:

Luann moved to L.A.? I thought that was an April Fool’s Joke. 

Please don't let it be about TomTom.

Edited April 28, 2019 by film noire

[Pickles]

I watched the behind the scenes version of this episode the other night with the producer's comments. Who ever was writing the captions needs some grammar lessons. Everything was "her and her daughters", "her and her husband". Ugh.   

[LibertarianSlut]

This was a very kid-centric episode, as others have pointed out. 

As far as Kyle and Teddi taking their daughters to get their makeup done, fine.  Fun, even! I couldn't believe how immature the moms were being, if anything.  Kyle can't say "pitch a tent" without laughing, to which Teddi replies in a stage whisper, "boner?"  WTF.  Grow up.  A well-placed sex joke can be great.  When people put sexual innuendo on everything--"balls" and "swallow" probably being the worst offenders--I get very turned off.  LVP, in her "British Humour" does this too.  They go for such low-hanging fruit.  It gives adulthood a bad name.

I don't mind Porsha maybe as much as some others. She is definitely her father's daughter, looks-wise. When Dorit came over with kids and Porsha already had a friend over, I understood Porsha's less-than willingness to want to interact with them.  I guess when I was her age and younger, I wouldn't have appreciated having to be set up with kids significantly younger than me, especially a boy. Some girls at that age--I was one--only want to look up at what is cool and older, and they don't want to be hassled with younger kids, unless they are being paid to babysit, which should automatically make them feel cool again.  The other kids aren't Porsha's responsibility to hang out with IMO, any more than if Porsha invited her friends over and Kyle was expected to hang out with their 30 and 35 year old moms and dads.

What was appalling to me was Teddi's kid having an utter meltdown on camera, with Teddi's friends, the nanny, and both his parents present. I have no idea why this was allowed to go on so long.  I am not sure why the nanny couldn't have taken him into a more private setting before the adults arrived.  Why was he even there?  It was a recipe for disaster.  How old is this kid, three?  Don't three year-olds go to bed around 7:30 or so? Considering the women were on the way to the Boy George concert, this was probably at least an hour later than that, hence the tantrum.  If Teddi wanted to duck into her kid's private space to say goodnight, fine. But for him to be rolling around on the deck losing his shit was unfair to the women and unfair to the kid.  I am childless by choice, and that scene would have made me really, really uncomfortable.  Create healthy boundaries for your kids, and maybe don't put something on national TV that will make them cringe when they're in college.  There is a popular meme, I guess, in pop culture that espouses, "don't let your children do anything that makes you dislike them."  I would add, perhaps, "and certainly don't let your children do anything that makes other people dislike them."

Maybe it's different because these women are moms (even though Erika didn't really raise her kid), but, had this been me,  I would have been out of there.  I think that is why Erika suggested waiting outside--maybe not for purely altruistic reasons. If I'm trying to have a fun night out, it doesn't need to start with a meltdown from someone's kid.  Same as dogs or pets.  I grew up around animals, but that does not mean that if I am invited to your house that I want your French Bulldog to jump up on my jeans and get grass stains and mud on them.  This happened to me.  And I made a low-key scene about it.  ("Um...your dog just jumped on me and made me dirty.  Where is your bathroom so that I can wash out the stains?") Nor do I necessarily want your cat doing that cat thing where they swirl around you so that their tail winds up being in your mouth  I don't think that's *cute* or acceptable in any way, unless I consented.  Kids will be kids, animals will be animals, plants will be plants, but please don't invite adults over to have an adult beverage before going to an adult concert without mentioning that your kid is going to be a holy terror upon arrival.  I would have waited in the car.  Not my thing.  But it's Teddi's world, we're just passing through, and why not take an opportunity--even if it's at the expense of others--to show how loved and needed you are. That's how I *percepted* the scene anyway.

Finally, I think Kyle and Dorit were both assholes for letting Jagger urinate on the lawn when he had no intention to.  It was sending the wrong message.  As other posters have stated, I think it's best practice to teach kids, regardless of their sex, to use the bathroom.  He was doing that, and the moms had to sort of gang up on him to do something stupid.  It was not cute or cool or funny.

Just to bring the situation full circle, I mentioned before that I was a really mature kid, always eager to grow up.  When I was around eight, my extended family went to Universal and, even though there were ample toilet facilities, a younger cousin's dad kept encouraging my cousin to urinate in the bushes.  I went up to my parents, sort of low-grade freaking out about how barbaric this was, and my parents' only response was that the dad wanted the cousin to learn how to be European.  I have no idea how this is steeped in any logic as I have been to Europe, and no one is peeing in the streets.  I guess I just want to say that I think people are wired very differently, and I can identify with Portia as far as having what may be disdain for younger kids, and a very early sense of discomfort with impropriety, which follows me to this day.  Some people are more laid back than others.  I'm not one of them. Never have been.  Porsha appears less laid back and maybe more serious than kids her age, and I don't fault her for that.  Her mom is goofy enough to go around and around.

Maybe because I grew up on Sex and the City, one of the themes of which was that there is a constant state of tension between single people and married people with families,  I think people need to live and let live more in this country.  I don't push my lifestyle on anyone, and it really bothers me when my hairdresser expects me to play with her kids, when I don't like kids under 9, or even if my sister wants me to find something cute about her little dog.  I just don't like little dogs or young kids. I love big and medium dogs, and older kids (and I do like cats, but not in my mouth). That is my line.  I don't know why I would have to state my preference more than once.  I'm married.  I don't find single people and try to convince them to marry, because I don't push my lifestyle on people.  What a concept!  

That has just been bugging me since the show aired.  Maybe it touched on some things I had been feeling prior.  

On another note:  It is really hard for me to look at Boy George now that I know he held a male prostitute in chains against his will, and it happened in the last decade.  Makes me glad he didn't win Celebrity Apprentice.  I'm not totally sure that's something you can come back from, regardless of the state of sobriety you had at the time.  That is some sick Medieval shit right there.

[lilmarysunshine]

On 4/24/2019 at 2:36 AM, Bossa Nova said:

I don't either. 

That includes her man hands, bad extensions, her square jaw, her awful kids' names, now her lacklustre canyon house, and her walk. Yeah have you noticed that ? She's boring. 

I would add in her unattractice husband. Sorry. I don’t find him remotely attractive. lol

[Pickles]

Teddi's voice, manner of speaking and constantly gesturing with her hands. She seems so masculine. And annoying.

[Shellbell59]

On 4/24/2019 at 11:47 AM, tranquilidade said:

I have the same reaction.  The glass doors have a commercial feel but I think it gives an open floor plan feeling  and brings in a lot of outside light while allowing air conditioning to be zoned and more efficiently used by having areas that can be closed off.  I would love to see her electric bill and her landscaping costs.   

I could be mistaken but my house has the glass features....It’s part of the indoor/outdoor living space..when glass doors are open living area can become part of the patio...popular in Cali....

see Sandoval and Ariana new house...it’s easier to see the layout on a simpler design  

[Starlight925]

On 4/25/2019 at 5:07 PM, aimlessbird said:

I just read on Twitter that Boy George was in prison for 15 months because  he held a man captive against his will and beat the man with chains.  This was during Boy George's drug addicted days but I found it to be sickening nonetheless.  https://www.irishmirror.ie/boy-george-reveals-shame-keeping-9828147

He served 4 months in prison + 1 year probation.

Ugh.....the last sentence of the article:  "I'm single but open to offers".

Delusional much?  This, at the end of an article where you were admittedly jailed for holding a male escort in your home and beating him???  What a catch.

[ButterQueen]

N/M

Edited April 28, 2019 by ButterQueen

[ivygirl]

13 hours ago, LibertarianSlut said:

Just to bring the situation full circle, I mentioned before that I was a really mature kid, always eager to grow up.  When I was around eight, my extended family went to Universal and, even though there were ample toilet facilities, a younger cousin's dad kept encouraging my cousin to urinate in the bushes.  I went up to my parents, sort of low-grade freaking out about how barbaric this was, and my parents' only response was that the dad wanted the cousin to learn how to be European.  I have no idea how this is steeped in any logic as I have been to Europe, and no one is peeing in the streets.  

Maybe you misheard? Did they perhaps say that the dad wanted your cousin to be “you’re-a-peein’”?

😉

(My tongue is firmly in my cat tail-free cheek)

[Kiki777]

12 hours ago, lilmarysunshine said:

I would add in her unattractice husband. Sorry. I don’t find him remotely attractive. lol

Teddi's husband looks like a wax figure of Tom Sandoval that someone left out in the hot sun.

[Shellbell59]

10 hours ago, Shellbell59 said:

I could be mistaken but my house has the glass features....It’s part of the indoor/outdoor living space..when glass doors are open living area can become part of the patio...popular in Cali....

see Sandoval and Ariana new house...it’s easier to see the layout on a simpler design  

Oh forgot to mention...my house near coast...never owned or had AC ever...have a teeny heater which is used max 10 times per year...so glass isn’t as disruptive here in SoCal 

average temp 71 degrees 

LVP on hillside probably get afternoon onshore breeze...no worries about H/VAC

Edited April 29, 2019 by Shellbell59

[breezy424]

I never understood the indoor/outdoor concept in CA.  Here on the East coast, if you opened your living room or whatever to the outdoors, you would end up with bugs, birds, and all sorts of 'critters' in your house.  Screens are your friend.

[SunshineOnMe]

I don't want LVP to leave. I adore seeing her house, her lifestyle, her pets. I don't want to see the drama, but rather the lavish lifestyle.

Bring more women on to be her friends.

[Natalie68]

On 4/28/2019 at 8:08 PM, breezy424 said:

I never understood the indoor/outdoor concept in CA.  Here on the East coast, if you opened your living room or whatever to the outdoors, you would end up with bugs, birds, and all sorts of 'critters' in your house.  Screens are your friend.

We have had skunks and raccoons come into my place of work when the doors are left open at night for unloading stuff.  For my home I require a screen door.  Growing up we always had raccoons try and come into our house at night.  If they were less bitey I mighta let them!

[Jennifersdc]

On 4/25/2019 at 12:16 AM, Rosiejuliemom said:

Common Core math can bite me! Math has never been a particular strength of mine, but I used to feel confident in the basics...until I had to help my daughter with her math homework. I was hopelessly confused on how she was supposed to do it. There was apparently a turtle involved somehow...I don't fuckin' know.

Anyway, when I was cleaning out her backpack that weekend, I found that math assignment. On the back, she had written "My mom couldn't figure out how to do it."

Funny how she threw an absolute conniption when Brandi's son peed on Adrienne's lawn, but not Teddi's or Dorit's. 

I enjoyed that flashback.

Ha! Me too. 

My previous jobs involved very sophisticated/complicated “math”. I’ve gotten good at it. I also scored 1 (meaning I managed to write my name) on my AP Calculus test in high school. 

No kids of my own - but have two nephews (love them - but they’re not that bright). I was on vacation and fifth grade math threw me for a loop without my Excel or reverse notation calculator (after 20 plus years can’t use a regular calculator). I actually handwrote a table - that was wrong. 

Thankfully that’s all behind me now. As in previously working for some assholes much larger and far more respectable than PK (actually asshole really only applies to my last job - two I consider family). 

I’m now working for a well known, reputable, non-profit doing affordable housing . I always said I wanted to do it. Huge pay cut - but I actually like my job and can afford it (see no kids). No complicated math too!

And yes - Peegate is too funny. I guess it depends on who is peeing. Brandi bad! Teddi good!

We were at Garfield Park (our dog park on Capitol Hill), with my nephew years ago (age 5 or 6) and he needed to pee, and my sister told him to go over by a tree. I told her I didn’t think that was appropriate (house three blocks away), and she looked at me like “really bitch”, and I actually agreed with her.

Ain’t happening now that he’s 13.

[walnutqueen]

3 hours ago, Natalie68 said:

We have had skunks and raccoons come into my place of work when the doors are left open at night for unloading stuff.  For my home I require a screen door.  Growing up we always had raccoons try and come into our house at night.  If they were less bitey I mighta let them!

I live just north of San Diego, and have zero problems with bugs, even with a swimming pool swamp pond right outside my back door.  I have raccoons, possums, skunks, and semi-feral backyard kitties who'd happily come inside (and have done so, when my back door blew open), but they're inoffensive and not bitey.  If I could afford a remodel, I'd definitely have indoor/outdoor living, instead of just leaving all the windows & screened doors open most of the year.

It really is a temperate climate here - I've never used A/C, and haven't missed the furnace that died a decade ago.

My Mama raccoon climbs up on the cat bed by my back window and watches TeeVee with me - she's fond of the Ho'wives, and seems especially captivated by LVP and her critters.

[Jennifersdc]

1 hour ago, walnutqueen said:

I live just north of San Diego, and have zero problems with bugs, even with a swimming pool swamp pond right outside my back door.  I have raccoons, possums, skunks, and semi-feral backyard kitties who'd happily come inside (and have done so, when my back door blew open), but they're inoffensive and not bitey.  If I could afford a remodel, I'd definitely have indoor/outdoor living, instead of just leaving all the windows & screened doors open most of the year.

It really is a temperate climate here - I've never used A/C, and haven't missed the furnace that died a decade ago.

My Mama raccoon climbs up on the cat bed by my back window and watches TeeVee with me - she's fond of the Ho'wives, and seems especially captivated by LVP and her critters.

Seriously - you have a semi-domestic raccoon? That’s awesome. You’re my new hero.

My mother left food all around our backyard for our indoor/outdoor cats (and ferals that got away from her or came back to visit). 

Only a matter of time until they found the pet door off the accessible deck on the second floor. Raccoons partying in her kitchen (assume cat food is like bourbon). She’d  probably have let them stay - but afraid they’d kill her little dog. He was barky (Papillon) and raccoons are adorable but generally mean. Cats were smart enough to get the fuck out of there.

Instead of calling animal control or a “removal” service, she used her feral cat traps and drove them to a wooded area 10 miles away. She was told she needed to go at least 5 or they could find their way back. She probably was like Studio 54 for raccoons.

[walnutqueen]

2 minutes ago, Jennifersdc said:

Seriously - you have a semi-domestic raccoon? That’s awesome. You’re my new hero.

My mother left food all around our backyard for our indoor/outdoor cats (and ferals that got away from her or came back to visit). 

Only a matter of time until they found the pet door off the accessible deck on the second floor. Raccoons partying in her kitchen (assume cat food is like bourbon). She’d  probably have let them stay - but afraid they’d kill her little dog. He was barky (Papillon) and raccoons are adorable but generally mean. Cats were smart enough to get the fuck out of there.

Instead of calling animal control or a “removal” service, she used her feral cat traps and drove them to a wooded area 10 miles away. She was told she needed to go at least 5 or they could find their way back. She probably was like Studio 54 for raccoons.

My Mama raccoon, and her many generations of babies she's raised in my backyard, is exceedingly polite and gentle.  She sometimes softly pats my bare foot in appreciation for treats, but has never been aggressive; nor have ANY of my backyard critters.  The resident semi-feral kitties peacefully share their endless bowls of food with all wild critters; this is the time of year when the starlings are raising their young on my catfood, and they feed without fear a few feet away from the resting kitties from dawn to dusk.

My menagerie and deplorable grounds might not be up to LVP's standards, but the creatures are as happy and beloved as her own.  I'm basically just a poverty-stricken lowlife LVP, albeit without a Ken.

And, like her, I have neither the time nor patience for back-biting , treacherous c**** people.

[Jennifersdc]

10 minutes ago, walnutqueen said:

My Mama raccoon, and her many generations of babies she's raised in my backyard, is exceedingly polite and gentle.  She sometimes softly pats my bare foot in appreciation for treats, but has never been aggressive; nor have ANY of my backyard critters.  The resident semi-feral kitties peacefully share their endless bowls of food with all wild critters; this is the time of year when the starlings are raising their young on my catfood, and they feed without fear a few feet away from the resting kitties from dawn to dusk.

My menagerie and deplorable grounds might not be up to LVP's standards, but the creatures are as happy and beloved as her own.  I'm basically just a poverty-stricken lowlife LVP, albeit without a Ken.

And, like her, I have neither the time nor patience for back-biting , treacherous c**** people.

If you have pygmy goats - I may have to move in.

If you have an available pond - I’ll pay for the Swans. We can split the upkeep.

Edited May 1, 2019 by Jennifersdc
ETA - we could probably crowdfund or whatever the upkeep.

[walnutqueen]

44 minutes ago, Jennifersdc said:

If you have pygmy goats - I may have to move in.

If you have an available pond - I’ll pay for the Swans. We can split the upkeep.

My fences are falling down, so, sadly, no pygmy goats.  My emptied swimming pool turned into a swamp pond, which is huuuge after all the rains.  A pair of mated ducks used it as their honeymoon hotel for about 8 years, but one of them failed to return a couple of years ago, so that's over.

Much as I'd lurve me some bitchy swans (or pugnacious Canadian geese, eh), I'd hate to relegate them to perpetually green stained feathers from the swampwater - which is perfect for the 'c****, 'possies & skeeterfish.  Not to mention the added cost of specialized food and the mere thought of any more vet bills.  I still remember Lisa and Ken taking Hanky (or was it Panky?) to the vet, and am sure the costs were exorbitant.  Besides, I don't "acquire" animals- they all just seem to find me, and that's the way it will stay unless I hit the lotto.

I wouldn't mind a kid peeing in my yard if they grew up strong and ready to come back and do some free yardwork for me.  

Edited May 1, 2019 by walnutqueen

[RealHousewife]

18 minutes ago, walnutqueen said:

My fences are falling down, so, sadly, no pygmy goats.  My emptied swimming pool turned into a swamp pond, which is huuuge after all the rains.  A pair of mated ducks used it as their honeymoon hotel for about 8 years, but one of them failed to return a couple of years ago, so that's over.

Much as I'd lurve me some bitchy swans (or pugnacious Canadian geese, eh), I'd hate to relegate them to perpetually green stained feathers from the swampwater - which is perfect for the 'c****, 'possies & skeeterfish.  Not to mention the added cost of specialized food and the mere thought of any more vet bills.  I still remember Lisa and Ken taking Hanky (or was it Panky?) to the vet, and am sure the costs were exorbitant.  Besides, I don't "acquire" animals- they all just seem to find me, and that's the way it will stay unless I hit the lotto.

I wouldn't mind a kid peeing in my yard if they grew up strong and ready to come back and do some free yardwork for me.  

😂

[mytmo]

9 hours ago, walnutqueen said:

My Mama raccoon, and her many generations of babies she's raised in my backyard, is exceedingly polite and gentle.  She sometimes softly pats my bare foot in appreciation for treats, but has never been aggressive; nor have ANY of my backyard critters.  The resident semi-feral kitties peacefully share their endless bowls of food with all wild critters; this is the time of year when the starlings are raising their young on my catfood, and they feed without fear a few feet away from the resting kitties from dawn to dusk.

What a beautiful peaceful scene! 

[walnutqueen]

2 hours ago, mytmo said:

What a beautiful peaceful scene! 

Yuppers.  The closest thing to fighting at Casa de Deplorable (nee Grey Gardens West) is on the Real Housewives shows we enjoy watching.  It is how we handle any latent aggressive tendencies we might harbor.  heh

[PumpkinPK]

Just finally watching this episode now, 18 min in so have not read any comments.

Lisa's "Who can resist pink porcelain?" Made me laugh.  She obviously didn't grow up in the 70s, with a pink porcelain toilet and pink bathtub.

[Natalie68]

On 4/30/2019 at 6:31 PM, walnutqueen said:

I live just north of San Diego, and have zero problems with bugs, even with a swimming pool swamp pond right outside my back door.  I have raccoons, possums, skunks, and semi-feral backyard kitties who'd happily come inside (and have done so, when my back door blew open), but they're inoffensive and not bitey.  If I could afford a remodel, I'd definitely have indoor/outdoor living, instead of just leaving all the windows & screened doors open most of the year.

It really is a temperate climate here - I've never used A/C, and haven't missed the furnace that died a decade ago.

My Mama raccoon climbs up on the cat bed by my back window and watches TeeVee with me - she's fond of the Ho'wives, and seems especially captivated by LVP and her critters.

Sounds like my kind of place!  It is going on my list of places to eyeball.  I know I cannot stay here when I retire since I would also like to be able to eat 🙂 but don't want to move too far away.  I love that your mama raccoon likes the HWs.  My kitty Riggs does as well.  His favorite group is New York and I think it is the jewelry.  HA!

[Anne Thrax]

On 4/23/2019 at 6:18 PM, rideashire said:

Lisa should not be proud of spending 300k on a kitchen. It just means everyone saw her coming a mile away and jacked up all the prices because they knew she wouldn't care. 

IKR!  My daughter just did a similar thing -- with top of the line cabinetry (the most expensive part), stone countertops and high-end appliances, about the same size kitchen, (except hers didn't include out-of-place exterior glass doors) all for around $65K.

It WAS a dreadful looking kitchen, though, with all that stainless and not one window.  Like a restaurant kitchen.

Also, the scene where Lisa wheedles permission from Ken to spend that obscene amount of money gave me such insight into the dynamics of their relationship.  When Ken balks at the price, Lisa pouts and whines about how her life has been so crappy lately.  Then Ken lets us all know what it really takes for him to agree -- he asks her "will you act happy after we leave here?"  I could tell just from that one phrase and how he said it that he's sick of all her bullshit too.  All he wants is peace at home and he'll agree to spend almost anything to keep her off his back.

In that moment, I had an epiphany that for all we've seen of Ken's ride-or-die backing up of Lisa's lies and manipulations, I think he does it only so that she'll leave HIM alone.  I tried to imagine how she'd treat Ken if he didn't always jump in and back her up to the hilt, screaming and spraying spittle on her foes.  I'll bet he has plenty of experience being the enemy, and he ain't having any more of it if he can help it.

EDITED TO ADD: After seeing LVP's finished kitchen, I realized my daughter's kitchen is only about half the size of hers.

Edited June 1, 2019 by Anne Thrax

[Anne Thrax]

On 4/24/2019 at 4:48 AM, SweetieDarling said:

I'm sorry if this has already been mentioned, but did anyone else find it weird when Teddi offered up that her "husband has an RV" rather than saying "we have an RV"? I know he's the one that uses it the most, but it struck me as odd.

The S K Y L I N E   S E C U R I T Y was pretty hard to miss on that RV.   Edwin probably bought that with company funds and deducted as much as possible of its full value as a business expense.  Thus, it is the company's RV, not the family RV, or he'd have to give the big tax break back.

[Anne Thrax]

On 4/24/2019 at 8:15 AM, Giselle said:

Lisa can can't wrap a gift for shit. Bows falling off, untidy corners and sloppy folding (on a square box no less 😒)

It makes me think that the gift and the wrapping were very last minute. Something pulled in the spur of the moment out of the gift closet with no thought what so ever.

ITA - the vase was most likely a re-gift, which would explain why she wrapped it herself.  And if Denise knows what's good for her, she'll send a sufficiently fawning thank you note pronto, or she'll be next on the LVP chopping block.

Edited May 31, 2019 by Anne Thrax