Season 6 Recap

[DirewolfPup]

The final season is upon us. In my continued determination to rewatch A Show from episode 1 - 67, I am now at the point where I can recap Season 6. WhiteStumbler provided the optimal format, so I will continue in his tradition. Get a grog of ale. This is a long one with lots of locations.

General Thoughts: Overall, season 6 provided a lot of fan service after all the unexpected killings, torture and rape of some of our favorite characters. Aside from a few notable deaths, and a few gut wrenchers, it was one of the more enjoyable seasons to watch.

We will never know if the High Sparrow was a “pious holy man, or rank fraud.”

Lots of stupid, frustrating scenes. Summer committing dog suicide by jumping into knives comes to mind. Pycelle murdered by 6 children with daggers. Why? Lots of stabbing in general this season come to think of it.

Also, the Hound lives! Tries to live a simple life with some religious folks who ended up killed by some rogue brotherhood without banners men. The Hound tracks them down and kills them.

At The Wall: Season 5 ended with the brutal murder of Jon Snow by his fellow brothers of the night's watch. Notably Ollie and Thorne. His body is discovered by Ser Davos and quickly assembles a team of half a dozen loyalists including Edd. Desperate for help, Davos sends Edd off to find Tormund and the wildling gang to avenge his murder. Davos, in desperation, asks Melissandre if she knows of any spells or witchcraft that could bring him back. We get the reveal that Melissandre is an old, old witch that appears young when wearing her magic bejeweled necklace. This confirms that some god out there has some power. We presume the Lord of Light. Could be anyone really.

Inspired by the brotherhood encounter with the resurrected Thoros of Mir, Meli tries her hardest to bring Jon back and succeeds! Everyone is aghast, including Meli. She declares Jon Snow her new, one-true king. While many of the night's watch and wildlings view Jon as some sort of god, Tormund isn't convinced since a god wouldn't have "a pecker that small."

As Jon's last act, he hangs all the men who murdered him. Thorne admits that given the chance, he'd do the same thing over. Ollie just glares and says nothing. Jon passes off his cloak and sword to Edd and declares that his watch is ended. He stays just long enough for Sansa and Brienne to show up and have the long awaited Stark Sibling reunion we've been waiting 5 seasons for. After getting a threatening letter from Ramsay, Sansa convinces Jon to assemble an army and take back Winterfell. Jon passes of Lord Commander to Edd (guess no election this time?) and we don't see the wall again until... See "North of the Wall" section.

At Kings Landing: Cersei hears word that a boat is in the harbor. "Mycella" she says with a sigh of relief. Jamie brings Cersei a coffined Mycella with a golden shroud over the top. Just like the prophecy. Jamie swears to Cersei that they will get their revenge. Because Cersei is awaiting trial, she is not allowed to attend Mycella's funeral. Jamie threatens the High Sparrow to no avail and tells Tommen to visit his mother. Tommen goes to Cersei and apologizes for not saving her from being imprisoned or her walk of atonement. In a bit of foreshadowing, Tommen says that he should have protected Maergary and his mother. That Cersei would have pulled down the roof of the Sept on all of them if roles were reversed.

Tommen tries and fails to out maneuver the High Sparrow. Jamie and Cersei try to force their way back into political favor on the small council. She warns the council and Lady Olenna that Maergary will soon make her walk of atonement. They devise a plan to let the Tyrell army into KL to rescue her and slaughter the sparrows. This plot ultimately fails because Maergary saved herself by bringing Tommen into the “Light of the Seven.” The High Sparrow now has a hold on the crown.

The High Sparrow makes it clear to Maergary that Olenna is next on his hit list. Maergary gives her grandmother a secret rose note while telling her to go home and save herself. Olenna obliges and gets out of dodge. Jamie is removed from the King’s Guard and told to lead the troops to recapture Riverrun.

Tommen, under the council of the HS of course, decides to outlaw the barbarak practice of trial by combat. That was Cersei’s ace in the hole since she has the Mountain. Qyburn confirms to her that the “rumors are true” and then some.

Loras’s trial goes through its paces. He confesses to all the sins. He renounces his titles, house, and connections to join the faith militant and get the mark cut into his head. Now, it’s Cersei’s turn. Where is she? Not here. She’s still at the red keep. The Mountainstein is keeping Tommen in his room. The Sept is blown up in Wildfire. RIP Maergary, Loras, Kevan Lannister, Lancel, HS, Father Tyrell, and hundreds of other people. Tommen, upon receiving word that all the previous people were dead, including his beloved wife, kills himself by falling out of the window of the high tower.

With Tommen’s death, Cersei assumes the throne because… reasons? I guess there’s no one around to say yes or no anymore. Jamie arrives home to see her crowned. No one looks especially happy about any of this.

In Dorne: After making peace as sloppily as possible, to no one's surprise Elaria killed prince Doran early in the season as soon as he receives word that Mycella was poisoned. Trystane, meanwhile, is living on the boat he rode to KL on (why?) which was boarded by two of the Sand Snake girls. He's killed by a spear through the head. Good knowing ya, I guess. We don't see them again (yay!) until the very end of the season when a mourning Lady Olenna and Varys make a deal with Elaria to fight for Dany's claim. Mainly because they both desperately want to kill Lannisters.

In Meereen: When we left our eastern compadres, Tyrion, Varys, Messandi, and Grey Worm were left in charge of the city. Tyrion goes to unclip the dragons, but kept them in the catacombs. The ships in the harbor were burned by the Sons of the Harpy and financed by masters of Astapor, Yunkai, and Volantis. Can’t have a free city doing well. Bad for the slavery business. Tyrion brings in the masters of Astapor, Yunkai, and Volantis to strike a deal for peace. They are given 7-years to rid the cities of slaves. Tyrion employs the sermoning Red Women a la Melissandre to speak in favor of the dragon queen. Varys leaves to barter an alliance with Dorne. Peace almost works for a brief moment. Until the city is attacked by the slave cities.

Daario and Jorah are on the hunt to find Dany. They find her ring and that leads them to the Dothraki sacred city that holds Dany. Specifically, widows of Khals are meant to stay in Vars Dothrak. She of course did not, so needs to be reviewed to see if she’ll be accepted, killed, or something else. She calls the Khal and his men “small” in mind and ambition. Says she should rule. They laugh in her face and threaten to rape her. So she burns the whole hut down. Another naked fire lady montage which always works to gain her new followers. She should employ the tactic more often.

Jorah reveals his greyscale. Everyone in this world seems to know what greyscale is. Even Gilly. Must not be a regionally affected disease. Dany commands Jorah to leave and find a cure, because she wants to rule Westeros with Jorah at her side. She gathers up her Dothraki and Drogon and head home.

Dany arrives during the siege on the city. The groups meet. Dany asks them to surrender, which seems ridiculous since by all objective accounts they are losing. Dany unleashes Drogon with excite the other two into breaking free from the catacombs they were kept in. They lay waste to one particular ship. Dothraki kill all the Sons of the Harpy on the beach. Tyrion says thank you, our queen does love ships, implying that they will steal the armada. They say as punishment, one of the masters must die to send a message. While the one shoved to the front was kneeling, begging for his life, Grey Worm quickly slashed the throats of the two standing behind him. Very clever.

Now, Dany has ships. Alliances with Yara/Theon, Dorne, Tyrells are fixed. She leaves Daario behind and claimed she felt nothing when she cast him aside. Cold-hearted dragon lady! She’s officially on ships headed to Westeros. Huzzah!

In the North: Sansa and Theon are on the run. Ramsay has an "almost" sweet moment while he mourned Miranda's death. The almost is because he offers her as meat for the hounds in lieu of a proper burial. Ramsay sends his best men and hounds after Sansa and Theon. Here's a big, gaping plot hole. He sent 4 men with 2-3 dogs. Really? That's it? That's not enough, but without the lack of men after them, Brienne and Pod wouldn't have overtaken them. But they did and Brienne once again swore to protect Sansa to fulfill her oath to Catelyn. Theon asks Sansa if he can return to the Iron Islands. Sansa complies after thanking him for saving her life. From there, Sansa, Brienne and Pod meet up with Jon Snow at the Wall before deciding to assemble an army and march on Winterfell.

Meanwhile, Ramsay's father, Roose, chastises Ramsay for using Sansa as one of his playthings. Roose's wife gives birth to a son. Ramsay, upon hearing the news, immediately stabs his father and sends for his stepmother and baby brother. In a horrific act that still stings to watch, he feeds them both to his hounds. With no more father or rivals, Ramsay declares himself Lord of Winterfell. All houses are beckoned to pledge their allegiance to Ramsay. The Umbers decided to kick it up a notch. They say bowing means nothing. Vows mean nothing. Instead, they brought Rickon and Osha as a present. Poor ShaggyDog's head was on display as proof of Stark-hood. Umber says this is because Jon Snow let wildlings south of the wall. Also, Ramsay kills Osha while eating an apple.

Littlefinger meets in the Vale and manipulates Robin into moving forces against the Boltons to avenge Sansa. Sansa and LF have a secret rendezvous with Brienne on guard. Sansa confronts LF on his knowledge of Ramsay’s proclivity for violence. She refuses his apology and refuses his troops… at least initially.

The hunt for houses to support the fight included many failures. Only smaller houses were showing their loyalty. We get introduced to the lovely Lyanna Mormont. Davos once again proves his worth by wrapping her into the fold.

With the few troops they have, Snow/Sansa/Davos/Tormund meet Ramsay to discuss the upcoming Battle of the Bastards! The battle starts by playing shoot the Stark. ZigZag you dumb Rickon dolt. ZIGZAG!! Ramsay arrows him through the heart just before the reunion with Jon. Whomp whomp. Jon charges in anger and quickly the whole group gets surrounded. When all seemed lost, Jon almost suffocates to death under all the bodies, then the Knights of the Vale arrive to save the day! Sansa keeps this from Jon for… reasons? While storming Winterfell, Wun Wun is shot with enough arrows to kill him, but not before breaking down the door. Jon beats the crap out of Ramsay’s face. The Bolton banners drop and for the first time since Season 2, Stark banners fly once again at Winterfell. Later, Sansa kills Ramsay by releasing his own starving hounds on him. Poetic justice.

This episode is so well made. Even knowing how it turns out, it’s shot and flowed so perfectly. One of the best episodes of the series.

They quickly disposed of all the piles of fallen soldiers with time? Magic? Hard work from the surviving men? Who knows. LF approaches Sansa with a “lovely picture.” Him on the throne with Sansa at his side. When she stops his advances and walks away, he throws out a suggestion that she should rule the north, not a bastard. Insinuating that he doesn’t have the name, but the people will give it to him because man > woman in GoT world. Lo and behold, that’s what happens. Jon is declared King of the North. Sansa and LF exchange knowing glances.

In Braavos: Arya is still blind and begging in the streets. A Girl decides to humiliate and beat her more by smacking her multiple times in the face with a stick. I guess this is considered training in the free city of Braavos. For almost half the season, we see her full on blind-training montage. First in the streets until she manages to get off one hit to A Girl. Then J'aqen Hagar brings her back to the house of black and white for more blind-training. We're treated to several minutes of A Girl knocking Arya down, hits to the face, gut punches, you name it. Very tedious to watch. She declared herself “No-one” even with the promise of returning her eyesight if she admitted to being Arya Stark. This seemed sufficiently tortured for the gods, and they gave her eyesight back.

She’s been tasked with killing another on the list, an actress named Lady Crane. After meeting her and growing fond of her, Arya refuses to kill her and is banished from the faceless men. She goes into hiding. J’aqen tells A Girl that she can kill Arya. A Girl and Arya have a few chase scenes around Braavos with lots of stabbing (and still running?) before Arya lures A Girl back into her hiding lair. Arya wicks out the lights makes the room dark. Now, this previously blind girl has the upper hand and successfully kills A Girl. She brings her face back to the house of black and white. J’aqen declares her no one. She declares herself Arya Stark, and she’s going home.

North of the Wall: Bran! Oh, how we've missed you. He was completely absent from Season 5. He is training to become the the three eyed raven. We see his visions. Vision #1) Brandon, Ned, Lyanna, and Benjen as children. We see Hodor as a lad named Willis. And he can talk! A middle-aged Nann scolded Willis for trying to play knight with the Stark children. Said he's a stable boy and to let him be. Vision #2) We see mid-war Ned with Howland Reed meet at the tower where Rhaegar was keeping his sister. Then,l the greatest swordsman who ever lived (who’s name escapes me) was stabbed in the back by Howland. We hear Lyanna scream. Bran calls out to his father who seems to hear him. Vision #3) Next we see the birth of White Walkers. Created by the Children of the Forest as a defense against man. A human man gets dragonstone ceremonially shoved into his chest by the CotF.

Meera is bored of sitting around and watching two guys zoned out and attached to a tree. Can't blame her. Hodor is terrible for conversation and eating nothing but moss would certainly make me irate.

Bran decides that he doesn’t like getting his visions interrupted by the three-eyed raven. He ventures off on his own, and stupidly gets grabbed by the Night King. Somehow, this means their cave sanctuary is no longer protected. They hurry to pack up and leave…. Oh but wait… how about another mission where they’re incapacitated in a trance holding a tree. Sounds like a grand idea! Hodor is freaking out. Meera is screaming for Bran to wake up and warg into Hodor to save them all. Bran wargs Hodor while he’s in his trance and looking at Willis. This causes Willis/Hodor’s mind to seizure and turns a nice, but simple stableboy into “Hold the Door” Hodor. Also, Summer just jumps into a bunch of dagger-holding skeletons for… reasons?

While fleeing, Bran and Meera are rescued by a half-dead Benjen Stark. Horray!  He gives them safe passage to the wall and bids them adieu. Bran hunkers down and checks out one more vision. It’s the vision! The one we waited for! Confirming that Jon Snow is the son of Rhaegar and Lyanna.

In Iron Islands: Here we go again with the Iron Islands. Yes, they’re back! And mildly interesting! Yara is exhausted with Balon’s insistence on this siege of the Westerosi mainlands. Balon encounters his brother Euron on the rickety bridge of death. Surprise, Euron’s decided to kill Balon and take the Iron Islands for himself. After Balon’s death and sweet funeral, Theon makes it home. Yara yells at him. For not going with her when he had the chance and for coming back after the death of their father. She presumed he was there to take the throne from her. He insists that, no, he wants Yara as their leader. He said as much during the King’s Moot. Yara had majority support until Euron showed up. His grand vision included building ships and sailing to Meeren to give Dany his “big cock” and had in marriage. The idiot Iron born love this idea and chose Euron to hold the crown. Yara and Theon flee to join Dany first with about 100 ships.  

In East/Central Westeros: Sam and Gilly travel south. First by boat, then by cart. Sam stops at the Tarly household to hopefully have a place for Gilly to stay while he’s learning to be a maester. His mom and sister are very friendly and lovely. His father was as awful as Sam described him. Making comments about his weight and disposition. Of course no one believed Sam killed a WW or a Thenn. In the process, Gilly gives away that she’s a wildling. This sends Lord Tarly into a full on tizzy. He points to the foreshadowing sword of the Tarly house, Heartsbane. One of the few Valyrian steel swords left. In a sweep of courage, Sam takes Gilly and little Sam in the dead of night along with the sword. They end in the Citadel where Sam gets his Belle library scene from Beauty and the Beast.

In the Riverlands: The Blackfish took back Riverrun from the Freys. The Freys are terrible at everything, so Jamie was sent to go reclaim the castle. Brienne was sent to get the Blackfish to meet up with Sansa. He decides against it and chooses to stay in the castle. With some failed parleys and a few direct threats of launching an alive baby over the walls, Edmure relents and walks into the Riverrun and commands the city to stand down and let the Lannister army in. Walder celebrates the win, while Jamie corrects him saying the Lannisters won because of Walder’s inability to hold a single castle. “Why do we need you?” Arya heads over and feeds Walder his sons before slitting his throat.

[gingerella]

*slow clap of astounded appreciation*

By the Old Gods and the New, you have exceeded my/our expectations of this magnificent recap @DirewolfPup! Bravo brother, Brav.O. I remember that so many of our Unsullied were threatening to jump ship at the end of S5 because we'd had it with the horrible torture/rape that we kept getting served up in heaping amounts. And I remember that at the end of S6 we FINALLY felt like there might be some comeuppance for the characters we loathed and those we loved were getting their revenge...finally!

ETA: In reading your recap I realized why I thought the torture of Sansa via Ramsey went on for so many seasons. It was because he tortured Reek and anyone in his path for, what was it, 5 seasons? The timeline of A Show is so distorted in my head...so many of the more heinous characters - I'm looking at YOU, Joffrey and Ramsey - seemed to drag on for too long.

Edited April 9, 2019 by gingerella

[Pallas]

That was tremendous, Pup, thank you! Especially for the observation that The Freys Are Terrible At Everything, exceeding even The Idiot Iron-born. 

[WhiteStumbler]

I still think the execution of Jon by his NW brothers was terribly manipulative, but it is a nice loophole for Jon to escape the NW while still remaining ‘honorable”.

At the Wall: Ghost’s mournful howls are a haunting opening to the season. Davos discovers Jon’s dead corpse, and Edd releases Ghost. Thorn leads a meeting of the Nights Watch and blames Jon for his own death, saying “he forced a terrible choice upon us”. Edd is sent to rally the Free Folk to save the NW men who remain loyal to Jon, though this doesn’t make a lot of sense without a living Jon, which happens later. One of the NW loyalists says “It's a sad fucking statement if Dolorous Edd is our only chance.” We learn that Melisandre is old beyond old. Castle Black is taken (with little resistance) by Edd and the Wildlings (my next band name) and Jon’s assassins are put into cells. Davos convinced Mel to try to bring Jon back with magic. She gives him a pre-resurrection spa treatment night, but everyone gives up before… it works!

            Mel asks “after you died, where did you go? What did you see?” but Jon, as usual, knows nothing. Mel then says “the Lord let you come back for a reason. Stannis was not the prince who was promised, but someone has to be.” Jon sees Edd again: Edd: Your eyes are still brown. Is that still you in there? Jon: I think so. Hold off on burning my body for now. Edd: (laughs) That's funny. (pause) You sure that's still you in there? Jon executes the NW traitors as his last act as Lord Commander and a member of the Nights Watch. Thorne says “I fought, I lost. Now I rest. But you, Lord Snow, you'll be fighting their battles forever.” Watching Jon and Sansa reunite STILL made me tear up.

            Sansa meets Littlefinger in the remains of Molestown, asking him “did you know about Ramsay? If you didn't know, you're an idiot. If you did know, you're my enemy.” Slimyfinger drops the intel that the Blackfish has reformed the Tully armies and retaken Riverrun. Sansa sends Brienne to ask the Blackfish to support her claim, then Jon, Sansa, Davos, the Red Woman, and Tormund leave Castle Black, leaving Dolorous Edd in charge. Jon then asks the Wildlings to fight with him against the Boltons, saying “You shouldn't have to come to Winterfell with me. I shouldn't be asking you. It's not the deal we made. I need you with me if we're going to beat them, and we need to beat them if you're going to survive.” Wun Wun says “Snow”, and the other Wildlings go along - no kneeling, just a handshake. Sansa, Davos, and Jon meet with Lyanna Mormont of Bear Island. Davos turns the tide, saying “there's no hiding from this. We have to fight (the dead) and we need to do it together.” She commits 62 men to the Stark cause. They have less success with the current Lord Glover, who refuses his support, saying “House Stark is dead.”

Beyond the Wall: Bran and Max von Sydow as the 3 Eyed Raven visit a happy, peaceful, Bolton-free Winterfell and see a young Ned, his sister Lyanna, and Willis (the future Hodor). Bran in a vision watches the Children of the Forest create the first White Walker by pushing a piece of dragonglass into his heart. When Bran awakes and confronts one of the Children, she states “We were at war... our sacred trees cut down. We needed to defend ourselves.” I wonder if the “sacred trees” were weirwood trees? I also wonder why are the CotF helping Bran, who also has the blood of the First Men (their mortal enemies) in his veins? Bran returns alone to the tree where the first WW was created, but now it is frozen and the army of the dead stands in their cold ranks. The Night King touches Bran on the arm and he wakes up, yelling “he saw me!” At this point when I first watched it, I remember thinking that Bran’s “mark” would allow the Night King and the Army of the Dead to break thru The Wall. WRONG.

            The Night King and the army of the dead come for Bran at the Root Dude cave. Meera kills a White Walker, Summer dies defending Bran who is in a trance with the 3 Eyed Raven, watching his father (as a kid) at Winterfell getting ready to leave for The Vale. The NK kills the 3ER, who dissolves into black ribbons in Bran’s vision. What appears to be the last of the Children of the Forest sacrifices herself to buy them time. Willis / Young Hodor has a fit in Bran’s vision, while Hodor is killed by zombonies as he holds the door and Meera drags Bran into the night. She continues to drag him thru a dark forest, while his visions show a rewatch of the entire series in a few seconds. They are tracked by the Army of the Dead, but are rescued by a masked horseman. This figure turns out to be Only Partly Undead Benjen! He was stabbed by a White Walker and left to turn, but was found by one of the Children, who stopped the Walkers magic by plunging a shard of dragonglass into his heart. Benjen tells Bran that the Night King will find his way to the realms of men, and that Bran must be waiting for him when he does. Benjen takes his leave of Bran and Meera, saying he cannot cross The Wall. Bran has a vision at the castle he visited before (where the Kingsguard who fought with two swords at once was stabbed in the back by Howland Reed), and sees Young Ned rush up the stairs to find his dying sister and a newborn Baby Jon, and Lyanna implores Ned “if Robert finds out, he'll-- you know he will. You have to protect him. Promise me, Ned, promise me.”

At Winterfell: Sansa and Reek are nearly captured by Bolton soldiers, but are rescued by Brienne and Pod (who kills his first man since saving Tyrion’s life by killing a Kingsguard at the Battle of Blackwater). Reek takes another step towards being Theon as he kills a Bolton soldier, and Sansa accepts Brienne as her sworn sword (tears). Ramsay kills Roose (with a Karstark watching) before having his stepmother and half-brother torn to pieces by dogs because he “wanted to be an only child”. Reek/Theon tells Sansa he is going home.

            Lord Umber brings Ramsay Rickon and Osha (and Shaggydog’s head) to Ramsay. Ramsay kills Osha. This guy is just the f*cking WORST. He then sends a letter to Jon, telling him “Winterfell is mine, bastard, come and see.” As a bonus, he reveals that he holds Rickon captive and threatens Sansa with gang rape. The Stark / Wildling army camps at the same place that Stannis had camped previously. On the eve of battle, Davos finds a charred stag, the same one he carved for Shireen Baratheon. Jon asks Mel not to bring him back if he falls in battle. There is a HUGE battle. Rickon is killed by Ramsay, Tormund kills Umber by tearing out his throat with his teeth, the Stark / Wildling forces are nearly obliterated, but the Knights of the Vale arrive (Sansa was seen writing a letter earlier - must have been to Littlefinger) and save the day. Wun Wun batters down the gate at Winterfell where Ramsay has retreated but dies in the courtyard. Jon batters Ramsay nearly to death, and the Bolton banners fall to the ground and the Stark banners take their place. That night, Sansa releases Ramsay’s own hounds to eat him alive. Davos accuses Mel of murder, and Jon banishes her from The North, saying she will be hanged if she returns. Jon cedes their parents’ old chamber to Sansa, saying that she is the Lady of Winterfell. Sansa tells Jon a white raven has arrived from the Citadel, heralding the arrival of Winter. Littlefinger tells Sansa of his vision, “a picture of me on the Iron Throne and you by my side.” Jon is declared The King in the North. Littlefinger looks slimy.

At Kings Landing: Jaime is rowed into the harbor at Kings Landing, and Cersei sees Myrcella’s body under a golden shroud. Tommen apologizes to his mother for not preventing her walk of shame, saying (in a nice foreshadowing of Cersei’s later actions) “I should have executed all of them. I should have pulled down the Sept onto the High Sparrow's head before I let them do that to you, as you would have for me.” Cersei plans to use FrankenMountain as her champion in her upcoming trial for incest and adultery. I think I finally have an idea of the High Sparrow’s end game: become the power behind the throne as Tywin was, since “no one is wiser than the Gods”. The High Sparrow tells Margaery his back-story and she got to see Loras, who looked terrible, telling him to “stay strong… you’re the future of our family.” His is in a Reek-like state, wanting only to “make it stop”. After being rebuffed from other Small Council meetings, Cersie and Jaime present Kevan Lannister and the Queen of Thorns with a plan: have the Tyrell army enter the city and return Queen Margaery to crown custody. Margaery meets with Tommen and tells him she was “only good at seeming good” and that “the Gods have a plan for all of us”.

            Per the plan, the Tyrell army marches into the city and interrupts Margaery’s Walk of Atonement (Mance is particularly ridiculous, saying “Madness has overtaken this city and grasped in its claws my children, but now we must drive it back under the rocks whence it came. Madness has had its day!”). The High Sparrow calls it off, saying that Margaery has already atoned by “bringing another into the light of the Seven”. Tommen walks out flanked by 4 Kingsguards who sport new armor, featuring a seven-pointed star. Jaime and the Queen of Thorns got outflanked. Tommen then kicks Jaime out of the Kingsguard and sends him to the River Lands to support the Freys. Cersei tells Jaime to take back Riverrun, saying “We've always been together. We'll always be together. We're the only two people in the world.”

            The High Sparrow makes a thinly veiled threat against the Queen of Thorns to Margaery. The two Tyrells meet, and Margaery tells her grandmother to “go home!” before slipping Olenna a note with a rose on it. Cersei and the Queen of Thorns meet, and Olenna tells her “Our two ancient houses face collapse because of you and your stupidity.” Olenna then drops one of the biggest burs in GoT history, asking “I wonder if you're the worst person I've ever met. At a certain age, it's hard to recall. But the truly vile do stand out through the years.” Olenna then asks Cersei “What'll you do, then? You have no support. Not anymore. Your brother's gone. The High Sparrow saw to that. The rest of your family have abandoned you. The people despise you. You're surrounded by enemies, thousands of them. You're going to kill them all by yourself?” and it is a nice bit of foreshadowing for the end of the season. Tommen outlaws trial-by-combat throughout the Seven Kingdoms, and Cersei queries Qyburn about an “old rumor” asking “was it just a rumor or something more?” to which Qyburn replies “More. Much more.”

            Loras Tyrell’s trial starts in the Sept of Baelor. When brought out, he confesses and has a 7 pointed star carved in his forehead, as the other Faith Militant do. Tommen is prevented from going to the Sept by FrankenMountain, Lancel is sent to retrieve Cersei, but is led beneath the Sept by a little bird before being stabbed. Pycell is lured to Qyburn, who apologizes to him before the little birds stab Pycell to death, saying “whatever your faults, you do not deserve to die alone in such a cold, dark place. But sometimes, before we can usher in the new, the old must be put to rest.” Lancel tries to crawl and extinguish the candles sitting in pools of wildfire (with hundreds of casks of the stuff nearby), but is too late. The Sept explodes, killing Lancel, Loras, Margaery, the High Sparrow, Mace Tyrell, Kevan Lannister and hundreds of others. When Tommen sees the smoking crater where the Sept stood and realizes that his Queen is among the casualties, he takes his crown off and walks off a high balcony. Cersei has Septa Unella strapped to a table where she is raped by FrankenMountain, before learning of the fate of her son. She orders his body burned, and the ashes buried where the Sept once stood, since Tommen “should be with his grandfather, his brother, his sister.” Jaime arrives with the Lannister army and sees the smoking ruin where the Sept once stood. He looks horrified. Later, with Jaime looking on, Qyburn declares her “Cersei of the House Lannister First of Her Name, Queen of the Andals and the First Men, Protector of the Seven Kingdoms.”

In Dorne: The ruler of Dorne and his son were killed. Did anybody care? Anybody? Bueller? At the end of the season, Olenna (in mourning black) meets with Ellaria and the Sand Snakes, who offer Olenna her heart’s desire - justice and vengeance. Varys walks in and intones “Fire and blood”.

In Mereen: Tyrion and Varys go for a walk, and Tyrion terrifies a beggar woman, who thinks that he is trying to buy her baby so that he can eat it. They see a Red Priest preaching and he exhorts the former slaves to take up the flame for their own salvation. Cut to: Dany’s fleet in flames. Perhaps not what the priest intended. Tyrion meets the chained dragons with a joke - “I’m here to help… don’t eat the help” and I SWEAR the dragons laugh before he frees them. Tyrion tries to negotiate with the slavers of Yunkai, Astapor and Volantis, attempting to get them to cut off their support for the Sons of the Harpy. Kinvara, the High Priestess of the Lord of Light, meets with Tyrion and Varys and promises to spread word about Dany being the “one who was promised. From the fire she was reborn to remake the world.” She promises to spread the word that Dany has been sent to “lead the people against the darkness in this war and in the great war still to come.” I really hope that somehow Daario and the freed slaves of Slavers Bay are in Season 8. The city is calmer, but Tyrion has little luck enlisting Missandei and Grey Worm in drinking. The slavers attack Mereen with catapult ships hurling fire bombs, but Dany shows up on Drogon, the Dothraki show up, and the other two dragons bust out of captivity to help out. “Dracarys!” Dany meets with Yara after the battle, and agrees to her offer of ships in return for independence for the Iron Islands, provided that the Ironborn stop raiding and reaving. Dany and Daario break up, and Dany names Tyrion to be her Hand of the Queen. The season ends with Dany’s fleet sailing west (FINALLY), with three dragons overhead.

On the Great Grass Sea: Jorah and Dario discover that Dany has been captured by a Dothraki horde, for ‘not idly does the ring of Danaerys Stormborn fall’ (LOTR joke). Jorah gets the quote of Episode 1, saying “I’ve been all over the world. There’s no escaping men like us.” Daario is still one smitten kitten, saying “I hope I do (grow old). I want to see what the world looks like when she's done conquering it.” Dany meets the new Khal and is told she will live out her days with the other widows of dead Khals in Vaes Dothrak. The woman running the show was there when Dany ate the horse heart in S1. Dany tells the gathered Khals “you are small men. None of you are fit to lead the Dothraki. But I am. So I will.” She starts singing the Talking Heads classic Burning Down the House before emerging from the inferno unburnt. Love that she did all of this with very little outside help, and that she came up with a plan that didn’t involve dragons. Dany sends Jorah off to find a cure for his greyscale. From the back of an even bigger Drogon, Dany rallies the Dothraki to cross the sea and kill the men in their iron suits.

In Braavos: A Bitch comes to beat on a blind Arya. Arya is taken in again by the Faceless Men and attains the pinnacle of Faceless Assassin Warrior Ninja training before she is given her sight back. Arya continues her FAWN training and hears the backstory for the first Faceless Men, and that Braavos was essentially founded by slaves from the mines of Valeria as a murder-for-hire city, and banking became a sideline. She gets a redemption assassination assignment - Lady Crane, an actress. Arya then watches a reenactment of S1 thru S3 onstage. She then sees a reenactment of Joffrey’s death and laughs, but is moved by a soliloquy by Lady Crane as Cersei lamenting the loss of her son. Arya poisons the rum, then knocks it from Lady Cran’s hands before it can kill. A Bitch sees this and reports to Jaqen H'ghar, who gives A Bitch permission to kill Arya. Arya retrieves Needle from its hiding place. She negotiates passage to Westeros and inexplicably does some sightseeing, only to be shanked by A Bitch. Arya seeks medical help from Lady Crane, who is killed by A Bitch while Arya flees out a window and thru the streets (her stab wounds must have healed VERY quickly!). Arya leads A Bitch to a dark place and cuts the candle, plunging the room into darkness. Arya puts the face of A Bitch in the Hall of Faces and Jaqen tells her she is now truly ready to join the Faceless Men, but Arya says that she is Arya Stark of Winterfell, and that she is going home.

At the Iron Islands: Balon the Damp gets tossed off of a rope bridge by Urine, a brother we have never heard of (that I recall) and who speaks in cyphers. Balon has a burial at sea in what looks like a lobster trap. Theon-lite returns to the Iron Islands and told Yara how sorry he is, saying “you should rule… let me help you.” He takes another step away from Reekdom by supporting Yara for Queen, but the Salt Throne goes to their uncle Urine. He orders the Ironborn to build a great fleet, and that he will use it to seduce the Dragon Queen.

In the South: Sam, Gilly, and Little Sam arrive at his father’s Castle of Horn Hill, where they try to pass Little Sam off as Sam’s son, and Gilly off as not-a-Wildling. The Tarley clan have an awkward dinner where Randall uncovers that Gilly is in fact a Wildling and points to the family Valerian sword Hearts Bane, saying Sam “will never wield that sword.” That night, Sam leaves with his new family and the sword, and they head to Old Town. Once there, the Receptionmaester gives them a frosty greeting, and says that women and children are not allowed in The Citadel.

In the River Lands: Walder tells his sons to recapture Riverrun by forcing the Blackfish to yield by using Edmure as leverage. After establishing a proper siege and getting Edmure better living conditions, Jaime meets with the Blackfish, who throws some viscous shade of his own - “Bargaining with oathbreakers is like building on quicksand.” Brienne and Pod reunite with Jaime and Bronn. Brienne is allowed to enter Riverrun to plead Sansa’s cause, but the Blackfish refuses. Jaime then uses Edmure to get the garrison to open the gate. Brienne and Pod escape, but the Blackfish is killed (off-screen). Walder Frey gloats about his victory to Jaime, saying that they are both “kingslayers”. Jaime, disgusted, leaves. Later, a servant serves Walder a pie that contains his two sons. The servant peels off her face revealing Arya, who says “The last thing you're ever going to see is a Stark smiling down at you as you die” and then slits Walder’s throat.

Somewhere (near The Vale?): In a cold opening, we see that The Hound LIVES! He is told by some sort of preacher (Ian McShane) that the gods have plans for him, but the Hound objects, asking “if the gods are real, why haven't they punished me?”, and gets the reply “they have.” Members of the Lord of Light-worshipping Brotherhood kill all the villagers and hang McShane, and The Hound stalks off with an axe. He uses it to kill a few members of the Brotherhood before meeting again with Thoros and Beric, who are about to hang three of their own Brotherhood members for killing the villagers. The Hound convinces them to let him kill two of the three. The Hound then seems to fall in with the Brotherhood after Beric tells him “good and bad, young and old, the things we're fighting will destroy them all alike. You can still help a lot more than you've harmed, Clegane. It's not too late for you.”

Edited April 12, 2019 by WhiteStumbler
Changed title because Pup beat me to it!

[WhiteStumbler]

Dammit! I didn't see this before posting my own S6 recap.

On 4/9/2019 at 10:41 AM, DirewolfPup said:

ZigZag you dumb Rickon dolt. ZIGZAG!!

Bwahahaha!

On 4/9/2019 at 10:41 AM, DirewolfPup said:

Also, Summer just jumps into a bunch of dagger-holding skeletons for… reasons?

I didn't see the point , either.

On 4/9/2019 at 10:41 AM, DirewolfPup said:

He points to the foreshadowing sword of the Tarly house, Heartsbane.

Nice! Let it be so!!

This is SO great! THANKS!

[raven]

1 hour ago, WhiteStumbler said:

Dammit! I didn't see this before posting my own S6 recap.

*dashes in* *merges topics* *sweeps cloak aside; dashes out*

[Anothermi]

Great recap, as expected, @WhiteStumbler.  And also with the enjoyable artistic flourishes you are known for. I'll always hear Dany's version of Burning Down the House when I see that scene now. It has become part of the show (in my mind).

I also like the name you gave the guy who was Reek: now to be known as Theon-lite!

A round of grog for all. May the games begin!

Edited April 12, 2019 by Anothermi
spelling - of course