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David T. Cole
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The Pilot thing shits me up the wall. And the one show were "Pilot" would have made a perfect episode title - the first episode of Quantum Leap was about Sam leaping into a fighter jet test pilot - called its pilot "Genesis".

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As a codicil to the "Can I have the room?" crackpottery, could people stop acting as if "Standing ten feet from somebody renders you completely inaudible" Trope? Obviously, I get why it's done (like instantly opening the door) but if I want to discuss something "secretly", I'd at least leave the room!

Also, I don't think Romy Cox/Robert Kinsey ever became President in Stargate - he was President Hayes' (William Devane) VICE President. Though there may be an alternate timeline where he was (Moebius, perhaps).

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I'm not a crackpot, I just think television needs to be less dark; not thematically, but visually. With hdtv, and all that jazz that's supposed to enhance your viewing experience, it's absurd how many shows there are on tv where you just can't see shit. I might be getting older, but I'm hardly blind, so stop with this nonsense.

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I'm not a crackpot, I just think television needs to be less dark; not thematically, but visually. With hdtv, and all that jazz that's supposed to enhance your viewing experience, it's absurd how many shows there are on tv where you just can't see shit. I might be getting older, but I'm hardly blind, so stop with this nonsense.

Someone should have submitted this! Oh wait...

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Not a good week for Orphan Black fans.

I thought the "quotes from a work thematically relevant to the season" pattern they have going for the titles was quite clever. But the submitter is correct that these are pretty useless for the purpose of referring to the episode, and that titles are kind of supposed to do that.

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The episode title one was my favorite "not a crackpot", but I also definitely agree about the doorbells and lighting too.

 

I'm totally not on board for the title sequence one. I especially hate OITNB's. That song is terrible and she sounds terrible singing it.

 

Loved that there was a surprise game time!!! (I suppose if I ever actually looked at the EHG Assist tweets, I would have known this was coming.)

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My favorite drug ad side effect was for an anti-anxiety med that promised to get you out of the house and socializing with people, but it would also cause loose bowels. Congrats! You finally got over your anxiety--too bad you sh!t your pants in front of everyone.

This wasn't in a commercial, but my mom was having chest pain for a while and her doctor prescribed something. When she got the prescription and looked at the side effects, one of them was--wait for it--chest pain. Derp.

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Yeah, that was meant to be "you are not," typing is hard. Though I wish they'd light everything better, not just climactic scenes. There are whole shows where you can't see a thing, and not just for the historical or world building accuracy of reflecting a dark/dirty/gritty time. I'll go sit in the time out corner now, and practice my Mavis Beacon.

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Great episode. I loved all the submissions. Game time was fun. While listening I thought of my own "I'm not a crackpot" theory. I hate it when it's so completely obvious that a character is going to die because all of a sudden they are perfectly happy and content. It's like the show is spoiling itself. Whenever a character gets good news, falls in love, has an epiphany, etc. I get the feeling they are not long for this world.

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Answering the door right away does bug but you could get around it fairly easily. Either show the door opening rather than the character knocking/ringing or allow characters to talk while waiting for the door to open.

 

Yes! It's not that hard! Like how L&O cut out all of the getting out of the car, walking up to a building crap by just putting the location on the screen and the people in the room.

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Since what I have is much more of a Movie crackpot than a TV one, I'll commit it to type instead of having a vague notion of recording it for a future Crackpot episode.

 

I am not a Crackpot, but I believe people in movies need to remember that guns are a very efficient way to kill or maim people you want killed or maimed. Too often in your action/adventure movie will I see an impressive combat scene that is only made possible because people have forgotten that guns are a pretty darn efficient way of killing humans. You squiggly high tech squids in Matrix Revolutions? You could really benefit from remembering how to make firearms.  Hey policeman of Gotham and evil henchmen.  It was a very visually compelling street rumble you guys had as the backdrop of the fight between Batman and Bane, but no one took your guns away, and the first side to remember that guns are more hurty at a longer distance than fists are probably going to win.  I realize that fight choreographers have to make a living, too, but whenever you're laying out that kickass action sequence, could you at least ask yourself whether one of these guys should just shoot the other?  It's Un-American not to.

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Almost Human?  So we can get one more Gina Carrano/ Karl  Urban fight and John Larroquette's cybernetics doc can Explain It All?  Like why the wall was there and what was up with KU's traitorous SO.  Just something to wrap things up.

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Producers should decide what kind of stories they want to tell before creating their teen-aged characters.  If they're sixteen, you'll have to have them graduate from high school in the second season.  If they're fifteen, they are not going to be experienced drivers.  Deal with it.

 

All Hollywood people should spend a little time in New England if they're setting their show there.  Then they'd know that if it's cold enough to wear that darling scarf, it's cold enough to put on a coat (and a hat, gloves and boots).  They'd also have to consider that scene opening at the door thing because nobody walks into a home during the winter without at least wiping their shoes/boots if not removing them entirely.  And it's dark at 4:30.  Sad but true.

 

And on the movie end of things, I think if more than one person is pictured on a movie poster, the names of those people should be set in the same order as how they appear on the poster.  To see what I'm talking about, check out the Steel Magnolias poster on IMDB.  Apparently Dolly Parton and Julia Roberts are interchangeable.

 

And I see Sarah's point re: The Daily Show.

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And on the movie end of things, I think if more than one person is pictured on a movie poster, the names of those people should be set in the same order as how they appear on the poster.  To see what I'm talking about, check out the Steel Magnolias poster on IMDB.  Apparently Dolly Parton and Julia Roberts are interchangeable.

Yes! This totally bugs the crap out of me, too. 

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All Hollywood people should spend a little time in New England if they're setting their show there.  Then they'd know that if it's cold enough to wear that darling scarf, it's cold enough to put on a coat (and a hat, gloves and boots).  They'd also have to consider that scene opening at the door thing because nobody walks into a home during the winter without at least wiping their shoes/boots if not removing them entirely.  And it's dark at 4:30.  Sad but true.

 

We also don't drive around in convertibles with the top down in winter. And if a woman is wearing a knit hat, her hair doesn't look like she just had a blow out when she takes it off. 

 

Apparently, this struck a nerve. 

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(edited)

I had high hopes for Scream since I loved the movies. I even liked Scream 4. The show isn't working for me (I will probably keep watching it.  I am weak and it is summer). They did have a slasher anthology on TV a few years ago which was Harper's Island. It used to be streaming on Netflix. That show was not amazing but not terrible. It also benefited from binging on Netlix because then the tension ramps up well. No meta commentary really, but likable characters getting murdered, some scary stuff and the entire season happens over the course of a weekend in a semi-isolated place. I think Scream Queens will stand a better chance. I think the problem with slasher shows on TV is that it's hard to care about the romcom moments and character stuff when murders are going on elsewhere. Also, if you go too long without solving the murder it makes people look dumb which is why Eve's Scream theory could have the best payoff. Scream Queens has the chance to be entertaining amidst the carnage.

I agree with both the I Am Not A Crackpot entries. Well said all around.

I also love UnReal. I was pleasantly surprised since Marti Noxon is not exactly synonymous with quality these days.

Edited by gpgurl50
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The Jared thing just reminded me of those awful drug cops who were on The Amazing Race one season and claimed they were experts in sniffing crack. (And... yeah, you don't need to worry about Sharknado's "plot".)

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They did have a slasher anthology on TV a few years ago which was Harper's Island. It used to be streaming on Netflix. That show was not amazing but not terrible. It also benefited from binging on Netlix because then the tension ramps up well. No meta commentary really, but likable characters getting murdered, some scary stuff and the entire season happens over the course of a weekend in a semi-isolated place.

 

Yeah, I watched Harper's Island. It worked well as a binge-watch because the characters spent almost half the season not knowing there was a killer after them, so they had to deal with boring wedding planning and relationship stuff. It got good after that, once they got to more slasher territory with everyone running around and being killed.

 

I mostly remember it for the episode title naming scheme, based on deaths in that episode:

 

  1. Whap
  2. Crackle
  3. Ka-Blam
  4. Bang
  5. Thwack
  6. Sploosh
  7. Thrack, Splat, Sizzle
  8. Gurgle
  9. Seep
  10. Snap
  11. Splash
  12. Gasp
  13. Sigh

 

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I did not realize that Bosch was based on the Michael Connelly books. I will check it out.

The Black Echo, the first book in that series, is a great book.

And I flove the way you all talk about Zoo.

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Related to the theory that there should be actual liquid in the coffee cups that actors hold, there should also be something in the purses that actresses fling around;  "fling" being the operative word.  I am not known for carrying a lot of stuff, but even I can't fling my purse like they do on TV.  In addition, the purses all look flat, making it painfully obvious that there's nothing inside.  Throw a wallet in there, or a paperback...something.

 

I am not a crackpot.

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Perhaps a Scream (or other slasher fare) and 24-esque matchup would work, not necessarily 'real time' but something going on in a really condensed timeline, so the characters don't look like idiots for not realizing what's happening for a while.  Harper's Island style, and sped up even more?

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Where is the "We are all dumber/domer" introduction taken from? It's driving me batty that I can't place it.

(Not batty enough to fly into a plane)

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Where is the "We are all dumber/domer" introduction taken from? It's driving me batty that I can't place it.

(Not batty enough to fly into a plane)

It's from Billy Madison if I'm not mistaken. That Adam Sandler movie where he had to go back to school as an adult to get an inheritance or something? I know Bradley Whitford is the bad guy but that's about it.

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My personal favorite piece of "HITLER'S ALIVE!" silliness from the '70s is from the BBC series The Tomorrow People:

"Nazi uniforms are the latest fashion craze being worn by Britain's youths, including Mike. Things grow even more disturbing when John is asked to investigate the death of a boy in Nazi uniform in Germany and learns he was an SS cadet who hadn't aged in over thirty years."

Turns out Hitler was an alien who survived WWII and is now trying to take over the world using teenagers. Seriously.

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I was thinking of checking out Tig. That recommendation helped out. Thanks.

Really solid canon submission as well. Fantastic TV that no one really wants to watch again but should be appreciated.

I loved the Opposites game. Well done. I like that Dave didn't even try pronouncing Mayim Bialik. No offense intended, Dave.

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My personal favorite piece of "HITLER'S ALIVE!" silliness from the '70s is from the BBC series The Tomorrow People:

"Nazi uniforms are the latest fashion craze being worn by Britain's youths, including Mike. Things grow even more disturbing when John is asked to investigate the death of a boy in Nazi uniform in Germany and learns he was an SS cadet who hadn't aged in over thirty years."

Turns out Hitler was an alien who survived WWII and is now trying to take over the world using teenagers. Seriously.

There was an episode of an Australian sitcom last year where the entire plot was "a Thunderbirds-esque group of international spies go undercover at a 1980s high school where Hitler is posing as a popular jock". No, really.

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All that talk in the beginning of the episode about the green-screens in The Strain gave me an idea for a new reality series. Contestants are told they will be flown to New York City, but instead are flown to Canada, and the winner is the first person who figures out he or she is not in NYC.
 
The title? "Nowhere Toronto".

 

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