S07.E13: Kelly's Story

[DC Gal in VA]

There was so much sadness with this episode and I am not just talking about the ultimate sad outcome for Kelly. Her loneliness, loss of the two people who showed her love and affection (her grandparents), multiple rapes, abandonment by her mother who couldn't even bring herself to support and comfort Kelly when she told her about the rapes and on and on. I understand that some here take issue with her saying that Gary kicked her out but, however her leaving transpired, with all the loss, abandonment, and rejection she experienced in her life, it most certainly must have felt like she was be tossed aside yet again.

I think this particular show really hit home how compromised and limited the lives of the super morbidly obese are. Not just showering, using the toilet and getting dressed but things most of us can take for granted like if we get sick and need an ambulance, even if we're overweight, there will be an ambulance that can get us to an emergency room if needed. Nope, not when you're that size. Same thing when it came to safely taking a cab ride; couldn't count on that either, actually such a simple thing almost killed her right then and there.

I am an unabashed fan of Dr. Now and he was beyond amazing in this episode: flagging down a police officer to get help, trying to physically pull her massive body out of the cab, probably doing everything he could to keep her in rehab when probably her insurer wanted to kick her out, and yes, I still think he had a hand in getting Gary to let her back into his home. It was so heartwarming to see him treat her not just as a physician but in a fatherly manner. As many here have observed, I could tell he was deeply saddened by her death.

Also wanted to thank PTV for this forum and especially all of you. This outcome really hit me hard and boy oh boy do I appreciate being able to commiserate with all of my fellow Pounder Pals here.

Edited March 30, 2019 by DC Gal in VA
Bleeping autocorrect.

[DC Gal in VA]

20 minutes ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

As I said before on her, too bad her mother wasn't right next to the rapist when that bus hit him.   I think the truth is that Kelly's mother didn't care about her at all, found her to be a burden, and was angry that she had to look after her when the grandfather died, and the grandmother couldn't cope.      

I think at least 90% of the poundticipants have admitted that some kind of molestation happened.     It's so awful that Kelly had to go through that, and then be blamed and humiliated by her so-called mother.      My guess is that Kelly's so-called mother thought that by having his baby, that the boy friend would leave his wife and family, and when that didn't happen she blamed Kelly.     

Totally agree with everything you said. Indeed, her incubator was a complete POS.

[ZeldaZee]

23 hours ago, ProTourist said:

Maya and Christian were at the clinic the night Kelly got stuck in the taxi out front:

Good eye! Jeez, even just as a background blur Christian looks miserable. I'm so glad he was able to get out of that situation.

[ZeldaZee]

3 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

There was so much sadness with this episode and I am not just talking about the ultimate sad outcome for Kelly....

I am an unabashed fan of Dr. Now and he was beyond amazing in this episode: flagging down a police officer to get help, trying to physically pull her massive body out of the cab, probably doing everything he could to keep her in rehab when probably her insurer wanted to kick her out, and yes, I still think he had a hand in getting Gary to let her back into his home. It was so heartwarming to see him treat her not just as a physician but in a fatherly manner. As many here have observed, I could tell he was deeply saddened by her death.

I've always loved Dr. Now but I've noticed that recent episodes are really showcasing his humanity more– it could be editing, it could be that the last season or so the subjects are in just so much worse shape than prior seasons. Seeing him actually help physically support Kelly in the taxi scene really shows his character– he's what, around 80 years old? And he's a tiny man, he stands on a box to perform surgery– but he's there pulling and hoisting and doing what he can for his patient and getting pissed when response isn't coming fast enough. I never thought my admiration for him could get higher but Hell, that man is a gem.

Edited March 31, 2019 by ZeldaZee

[Hellga]

On 3/28/2019 at 7:13 PM, Morgalisa said:

My son's coworker had a similar issue with his ibsurance. He went to physical therapy. I dont know what the problem was, but physical therapy exacerbated it and he ended up walking with a cane.

I am sorry, but I doubt that PT exacerbated whatever he had.  It may have delayed the proper diagnosis (if the initial one was incorrect) and the underlying disease could have gotten worse, but unless the therapist was a quack, I cannot see how PT itself can make a condition worse. 

Spoiler

All it is is stretching, strengthening and learning to use the muscles/tendons/joints appropriately (some of that may feel worse because if you body adapted to whatever caused you to move differently to accomplish your goals, it may be harder to do the tasks using the proper muscles).  I am a huge fan of PT/OT, it saved my back and it is helping my hand now.  In some cases, PT is the best solution by far as compared to throwing pills at the problem, in some it has to be used in conjunction with medications, but I have worked with a number of neurological conditions and great many of them use PT extensively and I have yet to hear of one instance where it was detrimental.  And in cases of surgery/orthopedic problems where surgery may or may not be appropriate PT is often required to restore function.  The benefit may not be there or be minimal if the patient does not do their part - the two or three sessions are nothing, the exercises one has to do at home, which have to be done properly  (i.e. not just "make a fist" but make a fist stretching the tendons in the back of the hand", not just lift your arms up when laying on your stomach, but lift them using your back muscles vs. arms and shoulders).   

A patient may certainly get an impression that "X happened before Y, therefore X caused Y" but that impression is not necessarily true, and I would be sad if someone refused appropriate care based on such things.   If you don't have enough faith in your physician's competence, it's probably time to find one you do trust.

On 3/28/2019 at 7:59 PM, thebigboot said:

It’s a shame she worked so hard and was being successful just to pass away. At the same time I’m astounded with the slew of medical issues she lasted as long as she did. When she was eating the pizza I just chocked it up to normal 600 lbs stuff, but when Dr Now mentioned diabetes it blew my mind. I’m a type II diabetic and even eating two slices of pizza is a rare treat because Of what the carbs do with blood sugar. This should be a wake up call to people on that road, you can literally get to the point of no return.

I think that in her episode we got to hear more about her medical conditions not because other patients don't have them, but because a) she passed away and they wanted to emphasize that it was because of her other health problems vs. something having to done with the surgery or weight loss and b) they had more time to devote to it since they did not have the full 12 months of footage and no drama to take up the entire screen time.  I expect that majority of poundticipants have diabetes and high blood pressure and high cholesterol and probably a few other things, but they don't have time for something like that, unless that directly relates to their weight loss journey.

On 3/29/2019 at 10:07 AM, 3girlsforus said:

Edited to add - for the sake of Gary’s family, I’m glad she didn’t die in their presence. Having her die in their house is probably hard enough. 

I guess it depends.  I am personally very happy I was there and holding my father's hand when he died.  Of course, for him it was long expected - he was in hospice care - but I know that if he died while I was not there, I would have eaten myself alive.  As it is, I know exactly that the very last thing my Dad did in this life is smile at my Mom (who was holding his other hand) and it brings me peace.  So it's equally possible that Kelly's family are having guilt trips out of wazoo that she died all alone without any help or comfort, and blaming themselves for not being there to do CPR and call an ambulance.  I don't know whether an ambulance would arrive in time, or whether the paramedics would have been able to do anything - but her family doesn't even have the satisfaction of knowing that they have done everything they could for her.  

On 3/29/2019 at 2:37 PM, libgirl2 said:

I wonder if they really chew and savor it? 

I think for them, it's all about getting it into their stomach vs. savoring the taste.  A long-standing addiction is about removing unpleasant sensation caused by the lack of the stimulus of choice, not about enjoying the stimulus.  And most of them have never had a chance to develop their palates, they were always eating the same beige and brown crap their entire lives that all tastes like grease and sugar and salt, so their idea of savoring is probably very different from a foodie's.

On 3/29/2019 at 9:06 PM, ProTourist said:

Maya and Christian were at the clinic the night Kelly got stuck in the taxi out front:

Hm.  Maybe they were leaving and she was just taking a rest between walking from the examination room to the lobby before walking to the car?  I don't recall anyone still being in the waiting room when Kelly was leaving.  Unless, of course, they were already called in?   I do wish Maja had seen Kelly's "stuck in the car" scene and compared it to her own pathetic whine-fest.  Not that I think she would reach the same conclusions I would.

Edited March 31, 2019 by Hellga

[Calamity Jane]

6 minutes ago, Hellga said:

Hm.  Maybe they were leaving and she was just taking a rest between walking from the examination room to the lobby before walking to the car?  I don't recall anyone still being in the waiting room when Kelly was leaving.  Unless, of course, they were already called in?   I do wish Maja had seen Kelly's "stuck in the car" scene and compared it to her own pathetic whine-fest.  Not that I think she would reach the same conclusions I would.

I wondered if she had sat there in that waiting room for a long, long time and that's why the doctor came out to check on her, otherwise it seemed odd that he would.  

This episode hit really hard, although something about Kelly worried me from the very outset.  As someone else noticed, her words and tone in the voice-overs were far more upbeat than her face and demeanor.  Quite often the camera caught her with a despondent, "1000-yard stare" expression, especially when she was in the hospital and rehab.  That made me really wonder about the depths of her depression.  She seemed so much better right at the end when she was checking on college classes, although her face still did not match her tone.  Someone else mentioned her flat affect, and it was striking.  

Just overall terribly, wrenchingly sad.  I wish we could figure out a way to end abuse of all forms, but most especially childhood sexual abuse.  It's so monstrously unfair. 

[Scarlett45]

5 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

As I said before on her, too bad her mother wasn't right next to the rapist when that bus hit him.   I think the truth is that Kelly's mother didn't care about her at all, found her to be a burden, and was angry that she had to look after her when the grandfather died, and the grandmother couldn't cope.      

I think at least 90% of the poundticipants have admitted that some kind of molestation happened.     It's so awful that Kelly had to go through that, and then be blamed and humiliated by her so-called mother.      My guess is that Kelly's so-called mother thought that by having his baby, that the boy friend would leave his wife and family, and when that didn't happen she blamed Kelly.     

Yup. Or growing up in a black family in the 1970s, if you became pregnant having the baby is what you did, regardless if you wanted to be a mother or not. 

It was thought once you had the baby you’d be over come with maternal love, or another family member would raise it. It was clear Kelly’s grandparents loved her, but they couldn’t raise her to adulthood. Her mother had no interest and her father wasn’t going to mess up his life because his side chick got pregnant 🤬. At least he had the decency to admit that Kelly’s awful circumstances shaped her, and were not her fault (as an innocent child) and he wasn’t there for her. 

[Morgalisa]

I have seen several mentions of insurance paying or not paying. Are Dr. Now's patients there on their insurance  or is his program free. He provides a lot of services and I'm wondering what kind of insurance would pay for all of that. The patients talk about being accepted in to his program. Would most of his patients even have insurance since they don't work. Just curious as I have seen insurance mentioned several times.

[ZeldaZee]

1 hour ago, Scarlett45 said:

Yup. Or growing up in a black family in the 1970s, if you became pregnant having the baby is what you did, regardless if you wanted to be a mother or not. 

It was thought once you had the baby you’d be over come with maternal love, or another family member would raise it. It was clear Kelly’s grandparents loved her, but they couldn’t raise her to adulthood. Her mother had no interest and her father wasn’t going to mess up his life because his side chick got pregnant 🤬. At least he had the decency to admit that Kelly’s awful circumstances shaped her, and were not her fault (as an innocent child) and he wasn’t there for her. 

What was interesting to me was that her father actually did seem interested in her life, and I do believe he was sincere when he said that if he'd known she was being abused, he would have done something about it. Better than "Mom" did, anyway. It was a screwed-up dynamic regardless but he struck me as being a decent person at least in regards to Kelly. She may have been the "other child" but it seems he did make an effort to be present.

[DangerousMinds]

1 hour ago, Morgalisa said:

I have seen several mentions of insurance paying or not paying. Are Dr. Now's patients there on their insurance  or is his program free. He provides a lot of services and I'm wondering what kind of insurance would pay for all of that. The patients talk about being accepted in to his program. Would most of his patients even have insurance since they don't work. Just curious as I have seen insurance mentioned several times.

I assume most of his patients are covered by Medicaid, which means they do have insurance. Those receiving disability are usually covered by Medicaid since they are unable to work.

[Jeeves]

5 hours ago, DangerousMinds said:

I assume most of his patients are covered by Medicaid, which means they do have insurance. Those receiving disability are usually covered by Medicaid since they are unable to work.

That's what I think too. I figure that Dr. Now probably waives his own fees for treatment, including surgery. But that still leaves all the other expenses, including the hospital surgical costs, and I don't know if Dr. Now or the show pays out of pocket to cover those. 

I think that if Dr. Now orders a patient hospitalized for a specific reason such as an infection or, as with Kelly, a critical cardiac episode, Medicaid would cover that to the extent that the Medicaid program deems it medically necessary. That ties into our discussions of Kelly's stays in rehab (nursing home). As I understand it, Dr. Now ordered Kelly into rehab in order to deal with her cardiac issues. The first time, was to strengthen her heart which had become dangerously weak. The second time, I believe, was also cardiac-related; she was recovering from high-risk surgery and her cardiac disease complicated her recovery. I think both of those stays, for those reasons, would be covered by Medicaid.

What I believe would *not* be covered by Medicaid, would be an admission to a nursing home or rehab facility, simply for the purpose of weight loss. Otherwise, IMO we'd see many of Dr. Now's patients spending time in those facilities. In Kelly's case, weight loss was part of the cardiac care program, but as we saw with her first rehab stay, she had control over her food and at first resisted going along with the prescribed diet. 

I'm no expert on this stuff and would appreciate being corrected as to anything I'm mistaken about.

[Morgalisa]

Thanks. You are probably right. My brother is disabled and on MedicAid. I know Medicaid will only pay for ambulance/transport to hospital if it is life threatening.  So we are careful about when we call. 

[TurtlePower]

15 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

As I said before on her, too bad her mother wasn't right next to the rapist when that bus hit him.   I think the truth is that Kelly's mother didn't care about her at all, found her to be a burden, and was angry that she had to look after her when the grandfather died, and the grandmother couldn't cope.      

I think at least 90% of the poundticipants have admitted that some kind of molestation happened.     It's so awful that Kelly had to go through that, and then be blamed and humiliated by her so-called mother.      My guess is that Kelly's so-called mother thought that by having his baby, that the boy friend would leave his wife and family, and when that didn't happen she blamed Kelly.     

Oh this makes me hate the human race. Haaaate. It happens so often and is so common, so many kids are abused and I ask myself, "Who DOES this?". Apparently, a lot of people. They ALL deserve to be hit by a bus as Kelly's abuser did. 

[AZChristian]

When the hospital name is featured so prominently whenever the scene is related to the hospital, it seems likely that they are "comping" any costs not covered by whatever insurance is available.  

[KateHearts]

29 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

When the hospital name is featured so prominently whenever the scene is related to the hospital, it seems likely that they are "comping" any costs not covered by whatever insurance is available.  

I worked at a large teaching hospital where all of the uninusred residents of our area are treated. There are special "indigent care" programs in place, as well as a certain amount of care that is written off by the hospital that is not expected to be collected.  There are also physicians who do "pro bono" type work (i.e., plastic surgeons who do reconstructive work free of charge, etc) and I suspect that the patients selected for this program are not charged. 

[fonfereksglen]

2 hours ago, Jeeves said:

That's what I think too. I figure that Dr. Now probably waives his own fees for treatment, including surgery. But that still leaves all the other expenses, including the hospital surgical costs, and I don't know if Dr. Now or the show pays out of pocket to cover those. 

I think that if Dr. Now orders a patient hospitalized for a specific reason such as an infection or, as with Kelly, a critical cardiac episode, Medicaid would cover that to the extent that the Medicaid program deems it medically necessary. That ties into our discussions of Kelly's stays in rehab (nursing home). As I understand it, Dr. Now ordered Kelly into rehab in order to deal with her cardiac issues. The first time, was to strengthen her heart which had become dangerously weak. The second time, I believe, was also cardiac-related; she was recovering from high-risk surgery and her cardiac disease complicated her recovery. I think both of those stays, for those reasons, would be covered by Medicaid.

What I believe would *not* be covered by Medicaid, would be an admission to a nursing home or rehab facility, simply for the purpose of weight loss. Otherwise, IMO we'd see many of Dr. Now's patients spending time in those facilities. In Kelly's case, weight loss was part of the cardiac care program, but as we saw with her first rehab stay, she had control over her food and at first resisted going along with the prescribed diet. 

I'm no expert on this stuff and would appreciate being corrected as to anything I'm mistaken about.

With her obvious disabling issues and her age, she was most likely on Medicare/Medicaid.  When you are receiving disability payments, after two years, you automatically receive a Medicare card.  Medicaid is income driven and then becomes the prescription plan and supplement to Medicare. Just went through the annual income renewal of Medicaid for my brother.  

As with everyone on Medicare, Medicaid, or both,there are limits on everything.

There is a thread somewhere below about discussing benefits, which is probably a better place to discuss specifics. 

Edited March 31, 2019 by fonfereksglen

[Scarlett45]

10 hours ago, ZeldaZee said:

What was interesting to me was that her father actually did seem interested in her life, and I do believe he was sincere when he said that if he'd known she was being abused, he would have done something about it. Better than "Mom" did, anyway. It was a screwed-up dynamic regardless but he struck me as being a decent person at least in regards to Kelly. She may have been the "other child" but it seems he did make an effort to be present.

I don’t think her father was an evil man- he did not want anything bad to happen to Kelly (or any child for that matter) but like a lot of people (especially men in his situation) he expected someone ELSE to do the heavy lifting and emotional work of raising her. At first it was her maternal grandparents (who did a good job) and then her Mom (who was a piece of shit).

They have a relationship NOW but if I recall Kelly said when she was growing up she did know who he was but he basically just brought the money for her support and that was the end of it. They weren’t “close” in away where she could confide in him about he abuse. How was she supposed to know he would’ve removed her from the situation?!

I think here is often this notion that “uninvolved” or “deadbeat” fathers are 100% absentee or unknown while being morally corrupt human beings. I think most absent parents (male or female) would NOT want their child to be abused or hurt on a basic human level (because they are not evil, and that is their kid), but have no interest in actually raising said child day in or day out. (Even if they pay support)

I think Kelly’s Dad has a hell of a lot of guilt (rightly so) for how his “well I support my kids and acknowledge my mistakes” school of fatherhood effected Kelly once her grandparents couldn’t take care of her anymore. 

[DC Gal in VA]

2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

I don’t think her father was an evil man- he did not want anything bad to happen to Kelly (or any child for that matter) but like a lot of people (especially men in his situation) he expected someone ELSE to do the heavy lifting and emotional work of raising her. At first it was her maternal grandparents (who did a good job) and then her Mom (who was a piece of shit).

They have a relationship NOW but if I recall Kelly said when she was growing up she did know who he was but he basically just brought the money for her support and that was the end of it. They weren’t “close” in away where she could confide in him about he abuse. How was she supposed to know he would’ve removed her from the situation?!

I think here is often this notion that “uninvolved” or “deadbeat” fathers are 100% absentee or unknown while being morally corrupt human beings. I think most absent parents (male or female) would NOT want their child to be abused or hurt on a basic human level (because they are not evil, and that is their kid), but have no interest in actually raising said child day in or day out. (Even if they pay support)

I think Kelly’s Dad has a hell of a lot of guilt (rightly so) for how his “well I support my kids and acknowledge my mistakes” school of fatherhood effected Kelly once her grandparents couldn’t take care of her anymore. 

Great points Scarlett45. I had never really considered the in between absentee parent who does the right thing financially but little else.

What I had also been thinking was that Kelly's incubator -- refuse to call her mom -- may have seen her pregnancy as a way of getting her man, nevermind that he was already someone else's man (BTW, I believe that both of them were wrong in having this relationship, not just her). I think that, based on her behavior, she was never interested in being a mother and that Kelly was just a means to an end. Then, when that didn't work, she just had no use for her daughter. POS for sure.

[Scarlett45]

1 hour ago, DC Gal in VA said:

What I had also been thinking was that Kelly's incubator -- refuse to call her mom -- may have seen her pregnancy as a way of getting her man, nevermind that he was already someone else's man (BTW, I believe that both of them were wrong in having this relationship, not just her). I think that, based on her behavior, she was never interested in being a mother and that Kelly was just a means to an end. Then, when that didn't work, she just had no use for her daughter. POS for sure.

This is possible. Or it could’ve been that they were both lacksidasical about birth control, and because Kelly’s mom was a young black woman being raised in a black family in the 1970s her parents didn’t discuss the option of terminating the pregnancy OR placing Kelly for adoption.

Of course there are exceptions to everything but in most black families at that time that’s just what you did when you became pregnant- had a baby, and another family member would raise it if you were unable or not interested. The grandparents likely told Kelly’s father that they would be raising her but they expected him to assist financially (which he did, as that was his child). That happened (and happens) A LOT.

Maybe the extended family thought Kelly’s Mom would “grow” to love her in a maternal way and she would step up...that obviously didn’t happen. She kept Kelly alive but little else. 

Kelly’s mom was certainly a POS and should’ve never been a mother (that’s on her) but it’s a bad idea to encourage women to have & keep babies they don’t want to care for. The kids often suffer in the end. In 2019 I’m glad women have more options. 

[aliya]

On 3/29/2019 at 1:55 PM, thebigboot said:

I’ve wondered the same thing, it’s truly astounding to watch the 600 pounders as they eat. Especially the way some of them down their pizza.

I think some of them get to 600 lbs because they do shovel in the food. They take in a ton (no pun intended) of calories very quickly and before their system can register that there's food in their stomachs. I understand it can take 20 minutes for that to happen - which is why I try not to eat too fast, because it's an easy way to over eat.

[BuyMoreAndSave]

1 hour ago, aliya said:

I think some of them get to 600 lbs because they do shovel in the food. They take in a ton (no pun intended) of calories very quickly and before their system can register that there's food in their stomachs. I understand it can take 20 minutes for that to happen - which is why I try not to eat too fast, because it's an easy way to over eat.

My husband used to be obese -- not anywhere near 600 pounds, but he was in the obesity range -- and he eats like that. A lot of times he says he's still hungry after we just ate and I tell him to wait 20 minutes for his stomach to register the food and after the 20 minutes he realizes he isn't hungry.

[BuyMoreAndSave]

7 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

This is possible. Or it could’ve been that they were both lacksidasical about birth control, and because Kelly’s mom was a young black woman being raised in a black family in the 1970s her parents didn’t discuss the option of terminating the pregnancy OR placing Kelly for adoption.

Of course there are exceptions to everything but in most black families at that time that’s just what you did when you became pregnant- had a baby, and another family member would raise it if you were unable or not interested. The grandparents likely told Kelly’s father that they would be raising her but they expected him to assist financially (which he did, as that was his child). That happened (and happens) A LOT.

Maybe the extended family thought Kelly’s Mom would “grow” to love her in a maternal way and she would step up...that obviously didn’t happen. She kept Kelly alive but little else. 

Kelly’s mom was certainly a POS and should’ve never been a mother (that’s on her) but it’s a bad idea to encourage women to have & keep babies they don’t want to care for. The kids often suffer in the end. In 2019 I’m glad women have more options. 

Unfortunately there's a lot of guilt-tripping of women who don't want to be mothers. There's also the narrative in society that if you have a kid while having few resources or no maternal instinct or other challenges, you will just "figure it all out" and everything will be fine. Women are also shamed to hell and back if they admit that they don't want to be mothers or don't love their children, even though love is not something that can be forced. Not everyone has that capacity to care THAT much about another human being and to do a job that is unpaid and often thankless. That's how we end up with so many people who regret parenthood and resent their kids, and kids who are worse off for it. I was one of those kids and now I'm childfree by choice! I used to blame my mom a lot for not being a better parent and being abusive but now I feel more "there but for the grace of God go I" about it.

Edited April 1, 2019 by BuyMoreAndSave

[jddnjreed]

I don’t post on forums....I am a lurker.....but, what happened to Kelly has been on my mind since I saw the show last night.   I was rooting for her and her death bothered me more than anything I have seen on tv in a long time.   Her voice overs and story seemed more real than many of the patients.   

[BuyMoreAndSave]

6 minutes ago, jddnjreed said:

Her voice overs and story seemed more real than many of the patients.   

I felt the same way. Personality-wise she seemed so normal, like someone who would be your coworker or who you would meet at a Meetup group or something. I felt the same way about Justin (this season's Justin). They both seemed like people who I would hang out with.

[aliya]

2 hours ago, jddnjreed said:

I don’t post on forums....I am a lurker.....but, what happened to Kelly has been on my mind since I saw the show last night.   I was rooting for her and her death bothered me more than anything I have seen on tv in a long time.   Her voice overs and story seemed more real than many of the patients.   

I have been thinking about her a lot. Her show is up on YT. I read the comments (people feel as we do here), but cannot watch the show again this soon. I read the reddit comments as well. It still makes me cry to think about her. 

[Twopper]

Wow! I finally made it thru the whole show.  I missed probably all but the last 45 minutes of it Wed as I came in when she was in rehab ordering take out which is when I first posted on the live chat and I was prepared to snark.

It was hard to watch knowing the end result beforehand.  She did seem to be surrounded by people who loved her as an adult.  I was a bit surprised not to see or hear about the friend who came with her to Houston after the incident with the van.   And she was seriously stuck which contrasts with people like Maya and the other women who fall out of cars or vans. 

She did seem to have a bit of a personality change as soon as Dr. Now approved the surgery.  It is so awful that the changes she made were too late to reverse her heart condition.  

I think they probably went back and re-edited parts of the episode after she died.   The only patients of his that we know about who die are those on the show.  I am sure he deals with the death of patients fairly often.  

[CrazyInAlabama]

Someone on another location said that they think her 'voiceovers' were actually her talking heads, re-edited and interspersed with Dr. Now's comments that he recorded after she died.      I was really hopeful when she was going to her final appointment with Dr. Now, but at least she died among people who cared, and not in her lonely apartment.        

Edited April 3, 2019 by CrazyInAlabama

[PrincessPurrsALot]

1 hour ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

Someone on another location said that they think her 'voiceovers' were actually her talking heads, re-edited and interspersed with Dr. Now's comments that he recorded after she died.      I was really hopeful when she was going to her final appointment with Dr. Now, but at least she died among people who cared, and not in her lonely apartment.        

This makes sense since I don't think I ever heard her say "right now" which is the scriptwriter's go to phrase. 

[JocelynCavanaugh]

For anyone who might still be reading this thread, I just wanted to note that we don't know what caused Kelly's heart failure, and it was likely not just that she was obese. I have dilated cardiomyopathy (a condition that commonly leads to heart failure), and some tests have indicated I have trace amounts of fluid in my lungs (that is the criterion for congestive heart failure, although thankfully I don't have enough to warrant that diagnosis) and I have never been obese or even overweight. Many or most cardiomyopathy cases are "idiopathic," meaning we can't ever know what caused it. Kelly's weight or diabetes may have been the cause, but I don't like to see misinformation repeated -- it's similar to people with lung cancer being blamed for their choices, when some have never smoked a single cigarette.

[dreadfulLeigh]

On 3/29/2019 at 5:46 PM, parrotfeathers said:

Saw this a few minutes ago in my news feed.

https://www.distractify.com/p/kelly-my-600-lb-life-death

Oh, my, I’m so glad people are treating her and her death respectfully. Even the van scene with any other person could have been easily mocked, but with her, even not knowing of her death, I believe it’s clear that this was a dire situation all around. The immediate seriousness and concerns from Dr. Now, her abject sadness and horrific childhood, etc, aren’t individually unique on the show, but coupled with her genuine personality, I just happy most people/media are treading gently after her death. 

[GoldenGirl90]

So I just finished watching the episode and something about it - I don’t know. It felt different from the beginning. Dr. Now did a lot of narrating. And there was a lot of foreshadowing. I don’t have much else to say that hasn’t already been said. Very, very heartbreaking episode. 

[Airmid]

I lurk and don't comment here, but this one... I finally got a chance to catch this episode. I knew she died, but didn't know when in her journey she did. Just the fact that it was at a point where she was determined, committed, planning for a future, and actually starting to smile made it all the more heartbreaking. 

It doesn't seem to be mentioned much on this thread that her obesity started while growing up. Which makes her upbringing even more terrible - not only did she get a distant mother who didn't care about her being raped, we apparently have a mother who just did not give a flying fig to her overall wellbeing as she mentions being 300 lbs (IIRC) at the age of 15. 

It's an interesting episode because we don't see people in her life at all. The friend who's "like a sister" just vanishes after the taxi, father in the very beginning but we never see or hear mention of them talking at all, the uncle who showed up minutes before she went into surgery and never seen again. Gary seemed like a nice dude the couple of times we see him and I do believe it was his wife and/or insurance/care worries that caused him to not take her home sooner from rehab. She was very, very ill and needed special care for a while. 

The striking part is that we never really hear from any of them as we do for others. Not even a printed silent statement from the family for TLC . All we get is Dr. Now making sure to say she was doing what she was supposed to, it was just too late, the damage to late.

I wondered, watching this episode if Dr. Now became the first person in her life that didn't disappear. He showed up when she was sick, showed up when she failed, showed up when she was stuck in a taxi worried to death that she was about to experience death. And he was the person to address the audience at the end about the final months of her life - telling her father that she went out fighting. If that's the case, it's just tragic.

Her flat affect was telling of both severe depression and how sick she was. Her loneliness was palatable. 

[Ralphster]

On 3/28/2019 at 9:45 PM, ZeldaZee said:

It just seems insane to me that anyone could disbelieve their children or dismiss them with these matters. It takes enough guts for a child to speak up in any circumstance, much less something as significant as abuse. To brush that courage under the rug, especially by the person they've screwed up enough courage to tell...no wonder they feel diminished in other parts of life.

It's more common than not, actually. It happened to me, and to everyone I know who was sexually abused (and we're talking over a dozen individuals). People just don't want to face something that awful, and there is usually a history of abuse for the parent as well.

[Ralphster]

On 3/30/2019 at 7:50 PM, Hellga said:

I am sorry, but I doubt that PT exacerbated whatever he had.  It may have delayed the proper diagnosis (if the initial one was incorrect) and the underlying disease could have gotten worse, but unless the therapist was a quack, I cannot see how PT itself can make a condition worse.

PT can absolutely make a condition worse. What happened to me is a prime example. I had an abdominal muscle issue and while trying to get that diagnosed, I was not moved properly following a procedure and I fell on the floor. I did not know this at the time, but the SIJs were badly sprained. I got surgery for the abdominal problem, and the SIJ problem just got worse and worse during the PT, as my pelvis wasn't supported properly anymore, and thus my spine wasn't supported properly anymore, either. Moving around for the aggressive PT made the instability a lot worse - to the point that I just had a bunch of screws drilled into my pelvis and spine a few weeks ago. There are many other examples of how PT can exacerbate a condition, but you get the idea.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Ralphster

[Ralphster]

I agree with another poster about Kelly never expressing gratitude. She never said thank you, merely stared at the other person and occasionally spat out, "Okay." She was really rude, to the point where I found myself surprised by the way she was treating other people. You don't treat people like that. She also seemed unpleasant and sullen to be around, what with her flat affect, emotionless eyes, and lack of communication. I am really curious about why Gary "threw her out." Given that the 600 pounders as a group are unreliable narrators, I doubt he just demanded she leave; I bet there were valid reasons for asking her to move elsewhere. As someone pointed out, Kelly would have badly damaged the furniture and seemed to be very messy, filthy even, but more importantly, she needed a lot of care that Gary and Fam weren't able to give. Plus it irked the hell out of me that she was ordering Cheesecake Factory food while in rehab; that's someone who gave no shits about her own poor health, so why should anyone else care? I could totally see her defying the doctor's orders while at Chez Gary and Gary and his family finding that a bit beyond the pale. 

I really think the taxi thing was staged. There was a point where Dr. Now was trying not to smile as he was telling Kelly to breathe. Plus, what are the odds he'd stroll out to check on a patient who was sitting in the waiting room after an appointment, especially with Maja and Chrisshun waiting to see him? Why was there a cop conveniently in the parking lot of a high-class shopping mall in a low-crime area? How did she manage to get into the taxi to get to the office in the first place? TLC has a long, sordid history of shenanigans, and my BS meter went off big time with this one. I'm not saying it's 100% accurate, but man, that all seemed really contrived to me.

Dr. Now does get paid for his surgeries. I read that a long time ago. It makes sense; his ex-wife took him to the cleaners and the article implied that he was working really hard to re-build that wealth.

Edited August 18, 2020 by Ralphster

[Ralphster]

I finally remembered what Kelly reminded me of in the manufactured "Oh noes, I'm stuck in a van even though I've successfully stuffed myself into multiple vehicles at all times of the day up to this point" scene. Winnie the Pooh, when he was stuck butt-first in Rabbit's house! Only instead of Pooh pleasantly humming and gently waving his limbs while he converses with Rabbit, Kelly bellows and grunts like a pissed-off water buffalo. "It's hurr-ting," she snaps petulantly at Dr. Now in a tone that plainly indicates it's somebody, anybody, else's fault other than hers. Well, maybe you should have stopped eating so much trash 3,000 pizzas ago. You are not a victim in this situation, merely experiencing the consequences of your own self-abuse. Assuming, that is, that the situation went down organically, which I doubt is the case.

And Dr. Now, why the fuck are you smiling at various points throughout the "stuck in a van" scene if the situation is so serious that she might "suffer cardiac arrest"? Either the scene is staged, which I 100% believe, or he's fucked in the head somehow. Which I kind of believe already, for myriad reasons. One of them is that he seems to think that patients need only attend therapy for there to be profound change, as though therapy operates via osmosis. He has no real understanding of therapy, the blocks thereto, the therapeutic process, or what real trauma is like. I also seriously think that weight loss surgery is illogical and that people will eat what they want whether they've had the surgery or not, but the current zeitgeist is that WLS is the only real answer to obesity. All you see in Web searches are articles discussing which WLS is right for you! Very few articles are available with regard to the negative sides of WLS, including occasional lifelong complications such as stomach pain or the inability to eat more than a small handful of foods. There is also the risk of death from surgical complications. Obese patients are really fragile medically and anesthesia is especially dangerous for them. I was surprised in my research to find that dying during the surgery is not that uncommon. I am at the point where I don't have respect for doctors who do this surgery. They do it because it's an enormous (pun unintended) moneymaker. It's the "latest great thing" and hopefully we'll get to the point where future humans go, "What were they thinking?!" Dr. Now is no different from the others who have jumped on this gravy train: He does it because it makes a huge amount of money, too.

Edited August 29, 2020 by Ralphster