S03.E18: Her

[Lady Calypso]

I do wonder why older Rebecca is staying at Kevin's place instead of some hospice, if she is dying, or some long-term care facility. I know the Pearsons can be co-dependent, but I can't help but wonder if it's more than just Kevin offering to let Rebecca stay with him because he has the most room at his home for her. 

[shouldbedancing]

Deja''s speech? I'm supposed to believe that?

[ItCouldBeWorse]

1 hour ago, Dreamboat Annie said:

Beth had a pretty strong warning for Kevin about him dating Zoe and, seriously, was it just that she didn't want kids?  This show does that.

I think it was more that she couldn't sustain a long-term relationship.  Didn't she break up with her fiance on the phone?  via email? (Thanks to ams1001 for the correction.)

1 hour ago, bybrandy said:

I felt like there was some Chekhov's gun action going on with that milkshake and fries thing, though.  I mean you guys just talked about how awesome it was and how Randall was missing out and he was all, "get me an iced tea."  Whatever, Randall. 

I thought he told Deja to get him whatever she was getting, and an iced tea.

Edited April 3, 2019 by ItCouldBeWorse

[ItCouldBeWorse]

3 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

I do wonder why older Rebecca is staying at Kevin's place instead of some hospice, if she is dying, or some long-term care facility. I know the Pearsons can be co-dependent, but I can't help but wonder if it's more than just Kevin offering to let Rebecca stay with him because he has the most room at his home for her. 

There's such a thing as home hospice.  If Kevin has the room and the emotional ability to have her there, why not?

[bybrandy]

3 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

I do wonder why older Rebecca is staying at Kevin's place instead of some hospice, if she is dying, or some long-term care facility. I know the Pearsons can be co-dependent, but I can't help but wonder if it's more than just Kevin offering to let Rebecca stay with him because he has the most room at his home for her. 

She was near Randall when his kids were young, and has now gone to Kate for her baby.  Kevin has babies in the future so maybe she went there to help with them when her health went awry.  

Lots of people do hospice at home for their loved ones and Kevin can afford any kind of nursing care that Rebecca is going to need.

[ams1001]

6 minutes ago, bybrandy said:

I thought Rebecca was really undermining Kate at the hospital.   Kate needs a chance to figure this stuff out.   Step back lady.  But I think I might be a party of one there. 

No, Rebecca was annoying me, too.

5 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

I think it was more that she couldn't sustain a long-term relationship.  Didn't she break up with her fiance on the phone?

Email.

[bybrandy]

25 minutes ago, Amethyst said:

Was Beth upset because there were so many mommy types in her class?  Unless she'll only teach aspiring ballerinas, who's to say she won't get that same clientele in Philadelphia?  

Even Beth's boss thought Beth was just teaching bored housewives to twirl better.  She could do that anywhere.  And maybe with her own place she could do more than that.

[Lady Calypso]

1 minute ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

There's such a thing as home hospice.  If Kevin has the room and the emotional ability to have her there, why not?

That's a fair point! 

[BuckeyeLou]

Just finished watching and am bawling my eyes out....even though I figured the person they were visiting was Rebecca, my heart just broke as Randall looked at his Mom....the one that Jack said was the "engine" of the family that kept them all going.   Kate realizing, she too, needed her Mother.  The juxtaposition of the kids going into Rebecca's room after her accident & now as they see her frail & old, realizing how much she meant to the family.  I did get a chuckle out of young Kevin putting the moves on the blonde nurse.

[Guest]

3 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

No, Rebecca was annoying me, too.

Email.

Rebecca was being annoying and Kate was dealing with a lot right then. The NICU is an emotionally charged place and brought out some of the worst in both of them.

[Soup333]

I stopped watching over Randall and Beth’s drama and the political storyline. I’m good? It’s safe to catch up now?

[bybrandy]

7 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

I thought he told Deja to get him whatever she was getting, and an iced tea.

Right... not a chocolate shake... unless you think she's getting him a burger, shake, fries and an iced tea.

[ItCouldBeWorse]

3 minutes ago, bybrandy said:

Right... not a chocolate shake... unless you think she's getting him a burger, shake, fries and an iced tea.

Knowing Randall, the shake is for dipping the fries (as Deja mentioned), and the iced tea is for drinking.

Edited April 3, 2019 by ItCouldBeWorse

[ams1001]

Just now, ItCouldBeWorse said:

Knowing Randall, the shake is for dipping the fries, 

I used to do that when I was a kid. It's yummy.

[tennisgurl]

Really, not a bad ending for the season. It has some really rough parts (the Randall stuff was mostly insufferable) but also some good episodes and arcs. I've loved seeing Kevin's character growth, and his stuff with Nikki and Zoe has all been really strong. It sucks that Zoe and Kevin couldn't make it work, as I liked their relationship a lot, I am glad that at least they ended on a mature and civil note. Certainly for the best, considering how connected they still are. 

The big shock for me wasnt Rebecca being sick or Randall and Beth being together, it was Nikki being around, and not only alive, but with Rebecca and apparently back with the family. That legit got a gasp out of me. I did like seeing the little glimpse of the future, and I loved Kevin's future house. It was sleek and fancy, but also very warm and inviting, kind of like Kevin. 

I am glad that Beth and Randall were both open to giving things up for each other and that they worked things out, but its annoying that Randall still gets his way. 

Kate admitting that she is insecure about being a mom, especially compared to Rebecca, was a really nice moment, and I felt really happy for Rebecca. So often everyone talks about Jack like he was the best parent, but Rebecca was clearly a loving and supportive parent as well. And while the flashbacks were a bit over the top in how much everyone fell apart without Rebecca, I get it. Kids worry, and everyone was shaken, even knowing that she was alright. And frazzled dad Jack with his three nervous but precocious children is adorable. 

[Ms Blue Jay]

Feel so bad for Tess.  The conversation she has to have with her friends.   "I'm gay.  And I'm moving to Philadelphia."  LOL.  

[DivaLasVegas82]

15 minutes ago, Lady Calypso said:

I do wonder why older Rebecca is staying at Kevin's place instead of some hospice, if she is dying, or some long-term care facility. I know the Pearsons can be co-dependent, but I can't help but wonder if it's more than just Kevin offering to let Rebecca stay with him because he has the most room at his home for her. 

If I were dying, I'd wanna die at home with my family--not in hospice care.

[ams1001]

If visiting hours start at 6, what the hell time was it when they got to the hospital? And the kids couldn't take five minutes to get dressed? And sorry, Jack, but if you're not the patient or hospital staff, you are a visitor.

[DivaLasVegas82]

6 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

I stopped watching over Randall and Beth’s drama and the political storyline. I’m good? It’s safe to catch up now?

Yes. The coast is clear. LoL.

[3 is enough]

Realistically it is possible that Miguel is dead in the flash forward.  If Rebecca was 30 in 1980 she would be close to 85 in the future.  And if Miguel were closer in age to Jack he would be in his early 90’s. So not out of the question that he might have passed.

[bybrandy]

11 minutes ago, ItCouldBeWorse said:

Knowing Randall, the shake is for dipping the fries (as Deja mentioned), and the iced tea is for drinking.

But Randalll didn't order a shake.  He ordered whatever Deja was getting herself with an iced tea.  That was my whole point.  He should be getting the shake for the fry dipping.

[ams1001]

2 minutes ago, DivaLasVegas82 said:

If I were dying, I'd wanna die at home with my family--not in hospice care.

You can do hospice care at home. My aunt had it for about two weeks before she died last year. They set her up with the equipment she needed and she had nurses visiting. It was where she wanted to be (though the last couple days she wasn't aware of much, if anything).

We also had a family friend who was planning to do home hospice but they ended up keeping her in the hospital (mostly because she was in too much pain to move her, I think); she had a private room with a fold-out chair/bed thing so her husband or one of her sons could spend the night. As hospital rooms go, it wasn't too bad.

[bybrandy]

10 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Feel so bad for Tess.  The conversation she has to have with her friends.   "I'm gay.  And I'm moving to Philadelphia."  LOL.  

I actually thought it might not be a bad time for Tess.  She could just start at the new school as out if that's what she chooses.   These new people can take her or leave her.  Losing a long time friend over her sexual orientation (although I don't think most kids Tess's age care much about peoples orientation or gender identity) is different from never becoming friends with somebody because of your sexual orientation.

[Spencer Hastings]

Nicky was the big shock for me.  I was happier than I should’ve been to see him alive and healthy.

Did they use the same Young Kevin actor to play Kevin’s kid?  We only got a glimpse but he sounded a lot like him!  

I’m nervous about this Rebecca storyline.  If it’s dementia, she probably won’t remember her family anyway but she really won’t be able to place the black son.  Randall seemed really timid “introducing” himself to her.  Dementia is rough.  My grandmother thought I was her older sister until she stopped talking completely. I don’t know if I could handle watching it on this show! 

Edited April 3, 2019 by Spencer Hastings

[Lady Calypso]

10 minutes ago, 3 is enough said:

Realistically it is possible that Miguel is dead in the flash forward.  If Rebecca was 30 in 1980 she would be close to 85 in the future.  And if Miguel were closer in age to Jack he would be in his early 90’s. So not out of the question that he might have passed.

And even if the flash forwards are actually 20 years in the future, Rebecca would be closer to 90 and Miguel would be late 90s. I'd actually be ok if Miguel was dead in the future. It makes perfect sense; not everyone can live to 100. It doesn't need to be dramatic. Him dying of old age would probably be the most realistic thing out of this show.

[meggonzo]

I don't think it's likely that Kevin will have a kid with Sophie.  If the flash forward is 20 years in the future, and his kid is only about 10 years old, then Kevin will be 48 when he's born.  Since Sophie is the same age as Kevin, it makes more sense that Kevin meets someone younger.

Also, if Jaewon was serious that he should have taken the job at MSNBC, uh yeah??  MSNBC vs. campaign manager for someone with no political experience.  Although I'm sure Randall gave him a speech to stay!

[ECM1231]

1 hour ago, debraran said:

Maybe a stroke of some kind? There are a lot of conditions that aren't dementia but still not a shocker at her age. That house was huge, almost too big and sterile. I'm happy Kevin is happy though.

Am I missing something? What house? In the flash forward were they in L.A. when they met to go see Rebecca? I thought they were at Beth and Randall's.

[DivaLasVegas82]

27 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Nicky was the big shock for me.  I was happier than I should’ve been to see him alive and healthy.

Did they use the same Young Kevin actor to play Kevin’s kid?  We only got a glimpse but he sounded a lot like him!  

I’m nervous about this Rebecca storyline.  If it’s dementia, she probably won’t remember her family anyway but she really won’t be able to place the black son.  Randall seemed really timid “introducing” himself to her.  Dementia is rough.  My grandmother thought I was her older sister until she stopped talking completely. I don’t know if I could handle watching it on this show! 

I wonder if Rebecca will turn into her mean, racist mother in her old age? I hope not, but it is certainly possible. People with dementia can say and do things that are totally out of character.

[ferretrick]

23 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Nicky was the big shock for me.  I was happier than I should’ve been to see him alive and healthy.

Did they use the same Young Kevin actor to play Kevin’s kid?  We only got a glimpse but he sounded a lot like him!  

I’m nervous about this Rebecca storyline.  If it’s dementia, she probably won’t remember her family anyway but she really won’t be able to place the black son.  Randall seemed really timid “introducing” himself to her.  Dementia is rough.  My grandmother thought I was her older sister until she stopped talking completely. I don’t know if I could handle watching it on this show! 

We had a terrible day with my grandfather when he completely lost the plot, had no idea who I was, and insisted that I was my grandma's lover and we were trying to kill him and take all his money (he didn't have any to speak of).  If it's an Alzheimer's storyline, I might be out also.

I don't think she would have any more problem remembering Randall then the rest of her kids though just because he is different race.  If anything, Alzheimer's takes the closest relationships last, and it's repeatedly been shown that Rebecca has the closest relationship with Randall.  I could see her losing Miguel though, and calling him Jack, which would be a particularly cruel twist given Miguel's insecurities about his place in the family.  

[ferretrick]

2 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Am I missing something? What house? In the flash forward were they in L.A. when they met to go see Rebecca? I thought they were at Beth and Randall's.

I'm pretty certain it was L.A. and that was future movie star Kevin's house.  

2 minutes ago, DivaLasVegas82 said:

I wonder if Rebecca will turn into her mean, racist mother in her old age? I hope not, but it is certainly possible. People with dementia can say and do things that are totally out of character.

Oh wow, that never occurred to me, but you are right that it's possible.  

[Lady Calypso]

10 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Am I missing something? What house? In the flash forward were they in L.A. when they met to go see Rebecca? I thought they were at Beth and Randall's.

Toby confirmed that the house they're in is Kevin's. 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

42 minutes ago, bybrandy said:

But Randalll didn't order a shake.  He ordered whatever Deja was getting herself with an iced tea.  That was my whole point.  He should be getting the shake for the fry dipping.

If Deja is getting herself a burger, fries and a shake, and Randall ordered whatever Deja was getting herself along with an iced tea, then wouldn't he also have a shake? Unless I misremembered what he said, which is certainly possible.

54 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

Feel so bad for Tess.  The conversation she has to have with her friends.   "I'm gay.  And I'm moving to Philadelphia."  LOL.  

On the other hand, she can avoid telling her old friends for now, if she wants, and decide how she wants to be viewed by the kids in her new school.

[Lady Calypso]

I'm rewatching the episode now. I really love how Justin Hartley gives off a totally different vibe when he's with the younger cast. Kevin's scene with Tess really goes to show how well Kevin is around kids. It's like he's more natural around them. Hey, if Kevin's acting career eventually tanks, maybe he should go into teaching! 

In all seriousness, I'm glad Kevin gets his own kid in the future. Maybe he even has more than one. He's really his best self around the kids. 

[ItCouldBeWorse]

49 minutes ago, bybrandy said:

I actually thought it might not be a bad time for Tess.  She could just start at the new school as out if that's what she chooses.   These new people can take her or leave her.  Losing a long time friend over her sexual orientation (although I don't think most kids Tess's age care much about peoples orientation or gender identity) is different from never becoming friends with somebody because of your sexual orientation.

Agreed.

[LoveLeigh]

1 hour ago, BusyOctober said:

ODid Toby give the impression he and Kate aren’t together in the future?  I got that vibe.  

Maybe Kate died? Kate was there? I have to rewatch. 

Edited April 3, 2019 by DakotaLavender
all mixed up

[watcher1006]

I think the flash forward was a mistake. Whatever one thinks of the futures of the characters that were shown, it robs the episodes to come of some of their intrigue or at least unnecessarily colors them for the viewer.

[LoveLeigh]

53 minutes ago, Spencer Hastings said:

Did they use the same Young Kevin actor to play Kevin’s kid?  We only got a glimpse but he sounded a lot like him!  

Yes, seems so. 

When I saw Rebecca in that bed at the end it reminded me of the finale of SIX FEET UNDER when we saw Claire on her death bed. 

Edited April 3, 2019 by DakotaLavender

[shoovenbooty]

Things that bugged:

Baby Jack's doctor interrupting Kate when she was asking a question, and saying, "I have to go." What the hell?!

Kate treating Rebecca like a teenage girl would treat her mother, with the constant annoyance to everything she said and did. 

Deja's Randall-esque speech. Followed by Jack's hospital speech. I wanted so badly for the nurse to listen to the whole thing, then say, "Wow. I can tell you all love your wife and mother a lot... Visiting hours still begin at 6 am."

The look on Beth's face at the dance studio when the instructor told her the next class would be "just four women who want to lose 10 lbs that they're never going to lose." Beth looked like, "Randall was right. I AM teaching bored housewives to twirl!" Boom, all is forgiven and they're moving to Philly.

Things I loved:

"Blockbuster isn't going anywhere."

Kevin's interactions with Randall's girls and Baby Jack.

Kate apologizing to Rebecca.

The nurse basically saying that Jack's speech made no sense and was a waste of time.

[Lady Calypso]

1 hour ago, bybrandy said:

I thought Rebecca was really undermining Kate at the hospital.   Kate needs a chance to figure this stuff out.   Step back lady.  But I think I might be a party of one there.  I really, really, really did like Kate's moment with Rebecca and when she admitted all of her insecurities weren't going to magically go away so apologizing in the future but I wish Rebecca had said that she was kind of being super a lot at the hospital.

Well, on my rewatch right now, Rebecca DOES apologize to Kate for overstepping at the hospital. 

I think I can see both POVs. I totally get that Rebecca was overstepping, in ways. Kate needed to ask the questions she needed and Kate needed to be the one in charge. I can see Rebecca instinctively jumping in and why Kate was snapping at Rebecca. But Rebecca obviously meant well. She did jump in to tap Jack when Kate, I believe, forgot what the doctor told her. Rebecca's notes seemed to spark that apology later on for Kate. Kate was obviously still in shock and lost on what to do. Her mom stepping in was for the right reasons; it could have been handled better, sure, but I think all of them were scared and reacted differently to the stressful situation. 

Rebecca was undermining Kate at the hospital, but I get why. My mom does the same thing; same with her mom. Some moms worry a lot and this is how they express it. We also know this is how Rebecca has been with Kate. Sure, it doesn't make it right, but I'd honestly rather have this type of mom than a mom who wouldn't show up and help out like this. But I do think Rebecca will back off and let Kate figure it out now that Jack's out of the NICU. 

[voiceover]

As a doting auntie to Nephew de Voiceover, who at 13 towers over me, I got a little choked up to see that my WeePearsons are now Twee...nPearsons.  

They're still adorable, natch.  Randall's nightmare of Rebecca-as-Freddy Krueger (and waking his sibs to share the horror) was one of those immaculate in-character touches that is one of those things this show still gets right.

It's the only reason I'll be back next season.

[LexieLily]

I also noticed that Toby didn't seem thrilled or happy at all that Kevin came to Los Angeles presumably to stay indefinitely and help care for Baby Jack, even though Kevin said he wasn't staying with them (right?). If Kate/Toby ARE divorced in the future, maybe Toby starts to feel shut out of the Kate/Kevin twin-connection dynamic?

[ECM1231]

Thanks to those answering my question as to whose house it was. I re-watched the ending and Toby did say it was Kevin's. I had the same impression as the poster upthread who said Kevin's young son sounded exactly like the actor who plays young Kevin in flashbacks. Upon watching again, I am convinced it is the same kid. I was happy for adult Kevin; he is so good with his nieces and am sure he will be a great dad.

[Lady Calypso]

9 minutes ago, LexieLily said:

I also noticed that Toby didn't seem thrilled or happy at all that Kevin came to Los Angeles presumably to stay indefinitely and help care for Baby Jack, even though Kevin said he wasn't staying with them (right?). If Kate/Toby ARE divorced in the future, maybe Toby starts to feel shut out of the Kate/Kevin twin-connection dynamic?

If that means we'll actually start getting some consistent Kate/Kevin scenes (we haven't really had many besides an episode here and there), then I'd be all for it. 

I will say that I watched the end scene again and there's a quick flash of Older Toby's left hand when he's showing Randall the chalk that he brought. He doesn't seem to have a ring on. Mistake or an obvious clue that something happens to Kate? I mean, they've been pointing to Kate probably being dead in the future, especially in this episode (why would Randall be calling Toby? Why would he be thanking him for coming? Why would Jack be the only one mentioned who is on his way with "them"?)

Edited April 3, 2019 by Lady Calypso
Left hand, not right hand

[Violetgoblin6]

2 hours ago, ShadowFacts said:

Oh damn, they sucker punched me.  Nicky is with old Rebecca!

I'm like, of course! 

Dan has said several times that he has the show mapped out and written up already. 

Nicky jealous of Jack's family, him saying he "used to be a person"...just shows how life is an adventure and full of surprises. 

How many years in the future?? 15? 20? Kevin's kid looked ten, at least. 

The best episode yet for me. To be honest, this show has kind of disappointed me this season. 

[JKL845]

I really liked this episode. I haven't liked much of this season but this felt like the show I enjoy. So Toby hasn't been to Kevin's house before....hmm. Happy to see Beth and Randall back. I love them, but not this season. I don't like Beth's boss (and maybe Beth as well) looking down on their clients. They could love dance just as much as Beth does. I think Kevin and Sophie end up together. I'd like that. But not until the last season. I would want Sophie to decide on her own not to marry the other guy because she doesn't love him like she should. I feel like they were showing Kevin flirting with that nurse because he's charming but also because Sophie is a nurse. The last season they could have flashbacks of their relationship...dating, married, divorcing and then getting it right. I think they will all be happy in the end. If Kate and Toby are divorced I think they will reconcile over her mom's illness or something. Randall picked Tess up and they drove to Kevin's house, so it must be on the east coast. Nick could be at Rebecca's bedside because he's part of the family now. He is the uncle, it doesn't have to mean any romance between the two. 

[JKL845]

So is the chalk and pin the tail on the donkey for dexterity for Rebecca? 

[buttersister]

Show got its groove back. I want Kevin’s house. And his coffee maker. And him. 

Interesting how Kevin’s character has grown, and Randall has shrunk, IMO. Wondering if Dan had to convince Hartley to hang in there while he made Randall Superman with the promise the shift would happen.

[happykitteh]

This may be a crazy theory but I think the "her" everyone is gathered to see is Kate. Showing Rebecca in the bed was just to throw off the viewers. I think something happened to Kate - a serious illness or injury - and she, like Rebecca, is staying with Kevin. She and Toby divorced at some point and that's why Toby said, "Are you sure she wants to see me?" I recall a birthday party for Kate with the Pin The Tail On The Donkey Game being part of the storyline so maybe they're having a party for an ailing Kate. I don't know what the sidewalk chalk connection would be.

[scarynikki12]

My first thought was that Rebecca recently had a stroke. That would explain the children’s games (fun things to do that double as recovery exercises), Tess being unsure about seeing her, Randall reminding her who he is, and the medical set up at Kevin’s. May turn out to be something else but that’s what I’m guessing. 

My question is this: if Kevin lives in LA in the future, should we assume that Randall, Beth, and Tess all move there as well? Otherwise why wouldn’t they arrive together since Randall and Beth would surely be on the same flight? I guess Tess could be living there and Randall just picked her up and Beth was at the dance studio cause she was visiting a teacher friend. Hope they clear that up. 

[Emily Thrace]

33 minutes ago, JKL845 said:

I really liked this episode. I haven't liked much of this season but this felt like the show I enjoy. So Toby hasn't been to Kevin's house before....hmm. Happy to see Beth and Randall back. I love them, but not this season. I don't like Beth's boss (and maybe Beth as well) looking down on their clients. They could love dance just as much as Beth does. I think Kevin and Sophie end up together. I'd like that. But not until the last season. I would want Sophie to decide on her own not to marry the other guy because she doesn't love him like she should. I feel like they were showing Kevin flirting with that nurse because he's charming but also because Sophie is a nurse. The last season they could have flashbacks of their relationship...dating, married, divorcing and then getting it right. I think they will all be happy in the end. If Kate and Toby are divorced I think they will reconcile over her mom's illness or something. Randall picked Tess up and they drove to Kevin's house, so it must be on the east coast. Nick could be at Rebecca's bedside because he's part of the family now. He is the uncle, it doesn't have to mean any romance between the two. 

I don't know about Kevin getting back together with Sophie. If the flashforwards are 15 years ahead and mini Kevin is 10 then Kevin and Sophie would be 42 when he is born. Which isn't impossible but it does make it less likely. I also wouldn't rule out Zoe just because the kid looks white, mixed race kids come in all colors. Especially since Zoe is fairly light skinned herself.