Season 5 Recap

[WhiteStumbler]

General Thoughts: Seeing the Bolton sigil on the towers of Winterfell still made me angry.
The season starts with a flashback, and Young Cersei is told she will have three children. Was she lying to Catelyn Stark when she described her youngest, a black-haired beauty who was lost to a fever?
Dorne was just as boring as I remember, but WOW does it look great. Amazing sets and locations.
The things with Jon being killed by the Nights Watch and Stannis killing Shireen still stick in my craw. Jon's killing is crap storytelling, and feels especially manipulative in retrospect, though I guess it does get Jon out of the Nights Watch. Stannis killing Shireen is frustrating because they never sold the suffering of his army before he agreed to burn his own daughter. Have some scenes with soldiers talking about how bad things are. Have some men dropping from hunger. SOMETHING was missing to cause Stannis to do a 180 turn from "you are my daughter" to "yup, who has a match?".
Meryn Trant was plenty killable without making him a pedophile.
I still don't know what the High Sparrow was up to - pious holy man, or rank fraud?

At Kings Landing: Cersei met the High Sparrow and rearmed his followers (in an attempt to get some leverage over the "smirking whore from Highgarden"), recreating the Faith Militant for the first time in over 200 years.
The Mountain shuddered back to life.
Loras Tyrell is seized with suspicious ease by the Faith Militant and imprisoned for being gay.
Jaime enlists Bron for a rescue attempt in Dorne, and they sail past the Sapphire Isle on the way to bring Myrcella home.
The Queen of Thornes returns to Kings Landing, there is a inquest into the sexual predilections of Loras, and Margaery is seized by the Faith while Tommen sits there like an idiot.
Why didn't the Queen of Thorns stop the deliveries of food from Highgarden, as she had told the High Sparrow she would if her children weren't released?
Cersei came to deliver some platitudes and leftover venison to Margaery (and to gloat a bit) before the High Sparrow seized her and threw her into a cell of her own. HA!
Cersei confesses to bedding Lancel and, as atonement, is shorn of her hair and forced to walk naked through a torrent of excrement and abuse back to the Red Keep, where she is met by the newest member of the Kingsguard, Mountainstein.

In Dorne: We met the ruler of Dorne, Oberyn's older brother who (reasonably) points out that Oberyn died in a trial by combat, so there is nothing to "avenge".
Now in Dorne, Jaime wants to bury the bodies of the patrol they kill, saying "corpses raise questions, questions raise armies".
Bad writing that the very minute that Jaime and Bronn try to rescue Myrcella, the Sand Snakes (yawn) try to capture her. Bad footwork in the fight scene as well.
Bronn almost dies from poison, but is saved by Younger Snake after telling her that she is the most beautiful woman in the world.
The ruler of Dorne (I am so bored with this story-line I can't be bothered to look up his name) agrees to sent Trystane and Myrcella back to KL with Jaime, provided that the wedding between the two kids proceeds and that Trystane is given a seat on the Small Council.
Elaria poisons Myrcella with a kiss, and Myrcella tells Jaime "I'm glad you're my father" before dying in her father/uncle's arms.

In Meereen: Varys and Tyrion arrive in the east, and the Spider convinces The Imp to travel to Meereen to meet the Mother of Dragons.
Where did Mossador come from, and how is Dany suddenly taking advice from him? Wasn't he just a stand-in for the freed slaves (and later sacrificial "victim"), and why did they just drop him in the middle of the action with no intro?
Tyrion discovered a new-found inability to lay with prostitutes in Volantis, and was promptly captured by Jorah.
Dany learned from Barristan that Rhaegar loved singing in the streets of KL and didn't like killing, shortly before being killed by a bunch of Sons of the Harpy NPCs. It still bugs me that the Unsullied would be patrolling the streets with long spears, instead of the shortsword (Missandei said “(The Unsullied) begin their training at five. Every day they drill from dawn to dusk until they have mastered the shortsword, the shield, and the three spears.”)
Dany punished two of her dragons by locking them away after Drogon ate a child, then fed them one of the Masters of Meereen. She then does a heel-turn and agreed to reopen the fighting pits, but only to free men.
Tyrion doesn't enjoy the company of Jorah, complaining of the "long sullen silences and the occasional punch in the face: The Mormont Way". Tyrion then sees a flying dragon near the Doom, they are attacked by the Stone Men, and Jorah gets greyscale.
Tyrion tells Jorah of his father's death at the hands of the Nights Watch mutineers, and they are captured by slavers shortly after that.
Tyrion and Dany meet, with an assist by the exiled Jorah. Dany looked gutted as she banished Jorah for the second time.
Things get crazy at the fighting pit, and the situation looks grim until Drogon shows up and he and Dany fly away.
Why didn't the Sons of the Harpy kill Melisandre, Tyrion, Daario, Jorah, Grey Worm, etc. after Dany flew away? Not as tempting a target as the Queen, but killing off all of her advisers seemed a logical thing to do after the fire breathing dragon wasn't around to stop them.
Varys and Tyrion were reunited.

In the North: Lord Royce (of the Vale) threw some viscous shade on his future Lord, saying of Robin "he swings a sword like a girl with palsy".
Brienne's inner suffering and external lashing out at Pod was the result of her feeling that she failed to protect Arya. She tries to approach the other Stark sister after Pod spots her at an inn, but is rebuffed by Sansa. She offers to begin training Pod to be a knight (I am resisting making jokes about his spear-work).
On their way north, Littlefinger sold Sansa on the idea of becoming a wife for the second time by telling Sansa "You've been running all your life. Terrible things happened to your family and you weep. You sit alone in a dark room, mourning their fates. You've been a bystander to tragedy from the day they executed your father. Stop being a bystander, you hear me? Stop running. There's no justice in the world. Not unless we make it. You loved your family. Avenge them."
In Winterfell with the Boltons, LF tells Roose "I assure you she's still a virgin. Tyrion never consummated the marriage. By the law of the land, she's no man's wife." This doesn't make sense. If the advice of the Small Council and consultation with the High Septon were required to annul a betrothal, what would be required to set aside a marriage (even if the couple is accused of regicide and the groom of Hand-icide)? The bar might be a bit lower since this isn't a royal marriage, but it still nagged at me.
Sansa met Reek (Reunion! But not the happy kind!) and is married to Ramsay in the snow next to the weirwood tree where Ned sharpened his sword and Bran looked at a comet in the sky years ago. She is then raped by Ramsay while Reek is forced to watch.
Ramsay and 20 good men do serious damage to Stannis' army. I call shenanigans.
Stannis sends Davos back to Castle Black for fresh horses and supplies, but before he leaves he gives Shireen a hand-carved stag.
Shireen tells her father about two Targaryen brothers who fought over the Iron Throne, and gives Stannis implicit permission to kill her with this bit of dialogue...
Stannis: Sometimes a person has to choose. Sometimes the world forces his hand. If a man knows what he is and remains true to himself the choice is no choice at all. He must fulfill his destiny and become who he is meant to be. However much he may hate it.
Shireen: It's all right, Father.
Stannis: You don't even know what I'm talking about.
Shireen: It doesn't matter. I want to help you. Is there any way I can help?
Stannis: Yes, there is.
Shireen: Good. I want to. I'm the Princess Shireen of House Baratheon. And I'm your daughter.
Stannis: (sighs) Forgive me.
Stannis then burns his OWN FREAKING DAUGHTER at the stake in an inexplicable heel-turn. More shenanigans.
The result of the murder of Shireen is that half his army deserts with all the horses, Selyse kills herself, and Mel flees to Castle Black. Way to go, Stannis. He then tries to besiege Winterfell, his army is broken, and he is executed by Brienne (who was called away just in time to miss Sansa's SOS signal).
Reek and Sansa kill one of Ramsay's girlfriends and jump over the walls of Winterfell into a snowbank.

In Braavos: Arya learned more of the mysteries of the Faceless Men at the House of Black and White on her way to becoming a FAWN (Faceless Assassin Warrior Ninja).
Arya is given her first assassin assignment, and meets the Thin Man who is selling the Braavosi equivalent of trip insurance, but failing to pay off on the policy when there is a claim.
Arya is ordered to kill the Thin Man, but sees Mace Tyrell arrive in Braavos with Meryn Trant. Mace tries to teach one of the Iron Bankers to sing, then Ser Meryn turns out to be a pedophile (because, why not?), and Arya crosses another name off of her list. ETA: Arya is punished for failing to kill the Thin Man by loosing her sight.

At The Wall: Mance Rayder is burned at the stake by Stannis, but Jon puts him out of his misery with an arrow to the heart.
Jon is nominated to be Lord Commander by Sam, and wins on a tie-breaker vote from Maester Aemon (every vote matters!).
Janos Slynt getting executed never gets old.
Stannis drops a hint about Jon's parentage, when his wife says that Jon is "a bastard by some tavern slut", and Stannis says "Perhaps, but that wasn't Ned Stark's way."
Mel tried to seduce Jon and, after being rebuffed, turned at the door and said "you know nothing, Jon Snow". Whoa.
Stannis revealed his guilt at about giving Shireen the doll that gave her greyscale, and said "you are the Princess Shireen of House Baratheon, and you are my daughter." There is a nice musical callback here to Shireen's nursery rhyme about "The birds have scales ♪ And the fish take wing ♪ I know, I know ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪"
Aemon says to Sam "A Targaryen alone in the world... it's a terrible thing", and moments later Jon Snow walks in. Subtle foreshadowing?
Stannis marched on Winterfell after Jon refused his offer to become a Stark.
Maester Aemon told Gilly get Baby Sam "south, gillyflower... before it's too late." Later he talks to his brother Aegon in a dream, saying "Aeg! I dreamed that I was old", and gets one of the few peaceful deaths in Game of Thrones.
Sam and Gilly make love FINALLY.
Sam gives Olly permission to kill Jon, saying "Sometimes a man has to make hard choices, choices that might look wrong to others, but you know are right in the long run."
Jon and Thormund arrived in Hardhome, where Thormund killed the Lord of Bones and Jon tried to convince the Free Folk to trust him and come south of The Wall. We meet Wun Wun, some of the FF agree to get on the boats, then the dogs start barking and HOLY FORKING SHIRTBALLS! Jon kills one White Walker with Longclaw, but the White Walkers raise tens of thousands of blue-eyes soldiers for their army.
Jon returns to The Wall and the Wildlings pass thru, and he sends Sam, Gilly and Baby Sam to Oldtown so he can become a maester.
Jon is stabbed to death by members of the Nights Watch, including Thorne and Olly. Ugh.

Edited March 25, 2019 by WhiteStumbler
Forgot to include the ending of Arya's arc.

[Anothermi]

Thanks WS.  Quite a bit I forgot from this season.  I love that you added the bits of foreshadowing (which I may or may not have noticed at the time but didn't remember anyway).  And the ever useful verbatim quotes. :-)

You're one of the good'uns.

[Pallas]

Thank you, WhiteStumbler! What a great recap, building beautifully to its conclusion: "Ugh."  A season too close to being balanced between "ugh" poor them and "ugh" poor us. You're right that the story-telling failed on the two greatest tragedies, Shireen's sacrifice-by-fire and Jon's death-by-a-thousand-wounds. The showrunners simply aren't the source storyteller, a writer steeped in these characters and their contradictions, able to surprise us and convince us at the same time.

The season was by far the hardest of them all on the next generation of young nobles. No mean feat. By age,

1. Daenerys: lost or imprisoned her children; banned Jorah; buried Selmy; betrothed herself to WhoZiz; faced death alongside all who had believed in her;
2. Theon: Reek.
3. Jon: assassinated by his Brothers of the Watch, the men he led.
4.  Sansa: passed from a second monster to a third, finally wed in a hideous farce of her girlhood hopes; abused by him in every way but mortally, until she jumps to what may be her death.
5. Brandon: ?  Did he appear at all?  
6. Arya: Schooled, roughed up, loathed by a competitor and blinded.
7. Rickon: Was it season six where he is betrayed and turned over to the Boltons? It must be, since he never saw Sansa again -- or any sibling but Jon, very briefly. 
8. Shireen: while still clutching her wooden stag.

The foreshadowing and the missing stories were the only things that suggested hope.

[gingerella]

On 3/25/2019 at 11:58 AM, WhiteStumbler said:

Sam gives Olly permission to kill Jon

Really? I don't remember that at all! Why did Sam do that, he was best buds with John?

I swear I've blotted most of S5 & 6 out of my mind because it was so godawful on so many levels, most of which you've covered in just enough depth @WhiteStumbler, that I don't have to have flashbacks, thank you for going into the fire for us dear friend! The Spitball Wall bows to your fortitude.

4 hours ago, Pallas said:

 Sansa: passed from a second monster to a third, finally wed in a hideous farce of her girlhood hopes; abused by hijm in every way but mortally, until she jumps to what may be her death

@Pallas, doesn't Sansa jump in S6 or what it S5? I say this because in my mind, her story at that time was so horrible - and I remember we were all debating on whether or not to jump ship and stop watching altogether because we'd had enough of the torture she and Theon - that feel like it went on for 3 or 4 seasons but was it only 1 or 1 and a little bit more?

[DirewolfPup]

Just finished Season 5 Episodes 1 - 3. Thoughts!

Dany in Meereen. After casting out Jorah at the end of Season 4, she can't seem to make any good decisions. Sons of the Harpy are starting to form ranks. After refusing to publicly execute the one SotH they found, she DOES choose to publicly execute the former slave and loyal follower who killed the SotH in the jail cell. Very mixed messages. Also, I tear up every time I see her dragons in chains. I cried real tears when she locked them up in Season 4.

Sansa / Littlefinger. I still don't really get why she eventually agreed to marry Ramsey Bolton. She had the missed connection with Brienne. Always unfortunate to think about, but I can see why she'd rather be with the evil guy she knows than the random women she's never spoken to before. Why didn't Brienne speak to her while they were both in KL? That would have solved the stranger-danger problem.

Jon and the Wall. He just got elected to Lord Commander with Aemon's tie-braking vote (RIP). He turned down a royal name change from Stannis. At least he has temporarily gotten into the grove of thoughtful leader.

The Boltons: Littlefinger admits that he hasn't heard much about Ramsey Snow/Bolton. I find it hard to imagine that a noble-born, raving lunatic that's been illegally flaying people for months if not years would be so under the radar. To make one lord pay his taxes (he refused to acknowledge Bolton's rank due to the whole killing the Starks business), Ramsey decided to flay the lord, his wife, and his brother in front of the lord's son. Yes, he then paid his taxes, but he's also going to tell people what happened.

King's Landing: The rise of the sparrows starts and ends with Cersei agreeing with their methodology. The High Priest is hiring whores from LF's brothel. So they beat him naked down the streets. Cersei puts the bugger in a cell. Oh foreshadowing. Cersei's also trying to take control of the small council meetings. I wonder why Tommen didn't want to join himself. He doesn't seem like the lazy tyrant Joffrey was. We'll just wave our hands and say Cersei manipulated him since we are given no explanation as to why. He's happy with Maergery.

[WhiteStumbler]

22 hours ago, gingerella said:

Really? I don't remember that at all! Why did Sam do that, he was best buds with John?

I didn't mean Sam literally gave Olly permission! 😄

I meant that the words Sam said could be interpreted by Olly as giving him permission.

Pup, I agree that it is a stretch to think that Sansa would A) trust Littlefinger, and B) marry into the family that killed her mother and brother. I totally understand why Sansa wouldn't trust Brienne right away, but hadn't even thought about the fact that they were both in KL for some period of time between Jaime's return and Joffrey's wedding! If they had spoken then, Sansa might have been more trusting when she saw Brienne later at the inn. Of course, it is possible Sansa would be less trusting of someone associated with the Lannisters (thru Jaime), so hard to say how it would have played out.

[Pallas]

23 hours ago, gingerella said:

doesn't Sansa jump in S6 or what it S5?

'Twas Season 5, indeed: four years ago, in our time. Several of our members then jumped the Habitat wall but you, dear Lady g, rallied our small herd, and we remained to keep each other company in our weird pursuit.  Two more seasons have followed since!

[gingerella]

3 hours ago, Pallas said:

'Twas Season 5, indeed: four years ago, in our time. Several of our members then jumped the Habitat wall but you, dear Lady g, rallied our small herd, and we remained to keep each other company in our weird pursuit.  Two more seasons have followed since!

So Sansa was married off to Ramsey and also escaped in the same Season? I am incredulous only because in my memory banks, I feel like we were tortured with that awful, terrible, no good story line for at least two full seasons! It seemed the misery went on forEVER. It is amazing what my mind chooses to remember about the more awful parts of A Show...

[DirewolfPup]

Finished Season 5. I'm going to get through this series. I'm determined.

Episode 10 had so much happening. 

Dany captured by Dothraki. Meereen team assembled! Tyrion and Varys are co-conspirators once again.

After Sheeren was burned at the stake (😭), half the troops left. Stannis's wife hung herself. Meli abandoned the cause. Ramsey beats Stannis's army. Theon/Sansa escape after killing Miranda. Brienne gets her revenge by executing Stannis.

Arya kills Trant and is subsequently blinded.

Jamie tells Mycella about being her father. Mycella is poisoned. Sand snakes... exist....

Cersei has her walk of atonement. Gut wrenching. Franken-Mountain is debuted.

Speaking of gut wrenching... Lord Commander Snow gets his wildling friends south of the wall. Gets stabbed for it.

[janjan]

Thank you so much, O Stumbler of Pale Hue!

[gingerella]

On 4/3/2019 at 3:44 PM, janjan said:

Thank you so much, O Stumbler of Pale Hue!

Here, here, we raise a mug of grog to your fortitude dear Unsullied brother *huzzah*

Alas, our 'Battle Plan' appears to have fizzled out, so we are grateful you have donned your armor and gone into recon mode for all of us at the Spitball Wall.

[WhiteStumbler]

Still hoping to have a recap of S6 to post later this week.

Time has craaaawwwwlllleeed for the last year and a half, now it is flying.

Little to no chance of recapping S7, but that is much fresher.

[gingerella]

7 minutes ago, WhiteStumbler said:

Still hoping to have a recap of S6 to post later this week.

Time has craaaawwwwlllleeed for the last year and a half, now it is flying.

Little to no chance of recapping S7, but that is much fresher.

@WhiteStumbler, I just left a scroll at Castle East proclaiming my inability to rewatch, however in light of your magnificent recaps, I may try to take on S7 ASAP for you. But don't count on me, my memory is like a lit pile of pigshit...it is known.

[gingerella]

On 4/3/2019 at 3:44 PM, janjan said:

Thank you so much, O Stumbler of Pale Hue!

@janjan, so glad you are still with us at The Spitball Wall...!