S23.E09: Week 9

[nutty1]

The others are chasing him. He’s chasing Cassie. 

[talktoomuch]

6 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

This season really has been Bachelor: Junior Edition

They're all so uncomfortably young to be talking about marrying someone they just met six weeks ago with whom they're not in a monogamous relationship. 

[JenE4]

15 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

I can't believe I am asking this but.. so he is still a virgin? GAH! Somebody just mount him and get it over with.

7 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

I'll pass. But maybe there is a volunteer here somewhere ...

We’ve been posting here together a long time, and this is truly the first season that there are NO volunteers to mount the lead. Usually at least half of us will say the lead—guy or girl—is attractive, and a couple of us will have a crush or wish she signed up. But this year NO ONE here is attracted to Colton, right??? Give me a “surprise” vote if I’m wrong and you’d pop Colton’s cork.

[Dittohead]

I'm getting old and my memory isn't what it used to be.  When does Colton introduce his top picks to his family?  Did it already happen? Are they skipping it this season?  I'm so confused!

[JD5166]

Cassie, my early favorite needs to do something with that hair. She looks like Cousin It. She’s fallen some in my eyes because of her friendship with the other phony baloney bachelorette wannabe. It’s almost like she’s started making herself look horrible because she doesn’t want to “win”. 

None of these girls are a good match for Colton. I hope he finds someone nice when he breaks up with whomever he chooses. 

[SallyAlbright]

He's so into Cassie but she is so incredibly immature and not ready for this. She genuinely comes off like a teenager, which is fine except not great for a lifelong commitment. 

[Mu Shu]

9 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

Medusa reference. Cassie has a few brain cells in that pretty little head of hers!

She’s one of those people with a degree and a good job who is actually dimwitted.

[Mabinogia]

this went downhill fast

[bosawks]

I can’t tell if her dad followed the script she gave him or he went rogue on her.

[hippydoo]

I think she's using her dad's non blessing as an excuse to get out of being with Colton.

[DEL901]

Uh oh.  Colton made a big boo boo telling Cassie that her dad didn’t give his blessing. 

[Mabinogia]

she doesn't get why her family would be hesitant to condone their what 23 year old idiot daughter marrying a 23 year old idiot virgin she just met a month ago? YIKES

[dizzyd]

Cassie's brain is working overtime and it's giving me a headache!

[Mabinogia]

I always love the "are you the perfect match for the next bachelor or bachelorette" commercial. 

Yeah, maybe if I knew who the hell it was I could say if I was their perfect match, but since I've no clue who's getting chosen how the hell should I know? Oh, wait, I'm too good for anyone that has been on this show yet, so I'm gonna go with no, I'm not. 

Now excuse me while I go cry myself to sleep over my utter failings. 

Edited March 5, 2019 by Mabinogia

[ECM1231]

4 minutes ago, bosawks said:

I can’t tell if her dad followed the script she gave him or he went rogue on her.

3 minutes ago, hippydoo said:

I think she's using her dad's non blessing as an excuse to get out of being with Colton.

YES!!! 

[JenE4]

Oh, I see. Cassie’s figurative walls will send Colton over a literal wall.

[hyacinth]

What Cassie is wearing is what I would wear if I were planning to dump a guy and didn't want him to feel bad about it.   That is one fugly outfit, including the boots that look like grandpa black socks on her pudgy legs.   (Yes, we've already discussed this on the Bachelor threads for years.  I'm going to Hell.  And some of you are going with me.)

[Armchair Critic]

How dare my kid ask me to get them something to eat while I'm waiting for the fence jump, I was afraid I missed it. 😂

[FlyingEgret]

Cassie's father is a better actor than Cassie

[saber5055]

7 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

We’ve been posting here together a long time, and this is truly the first season that there are NO volunteers to mount the lead. Usually at least half of us will say the lead—guy or girl—is attractive, and a couple of us will have a crush or wish she signed up. But this year NO ONE here is attracted to Colton, right??? Give me a “surprise” vote if I’m wrong and you’d pop Colton’s cork.

You make a great point. I don't see anything attractive about C or even any of the b-ettes. It's just this week that I could even name the three women. I think all are too young or something ... maybe not good enough actors for the scripts they are given. C has too much of a little-brother vibe for me, I don't find him the least bit attractive, even in the shower. Even seeing him with a shirt off is off-putting to me.

Now Arie, on the other hand ... (well, before his season that is.)

So surprise, that talk about Cassie's dad was just one big set up for TPTB to fly him to Portugal. Dad playing along with the script just paid off big for him! (Plus I'm sure the rest of the fam is stashed away somewhere in the Algarve.) WIN!

[Armchair Critic]

Please Dad, don't give me your blessing

[nutty1]

2 minutes ago, hyacinth said:

What Cassie is wearing is what I would wear if I were planning to dump a guy and didn't want him to feel bad about it.   That is one fugly outfit, including the boots that look like grandpa black socks on her pudgy legs.   (Yes, we've already discussed this on the Bachelor threads for years.  I'm going to Hell.  And some of you are going with me.)

I agree. It looks like the sweater I throw on when I work from home and I’m cold. 

[scenicbyway]

Has it ever been determined that Colton actually wants to lose his virginity?  He seems to have no game, even his kisses are bland.

Cassie is not in love with him and she’s more worried about what her dad thinks than what her feelings are for Colton?

Tayshia seemed annoyed.  I would guess she’s doing the math that he’ll only “go to the next level” with one of the three and it’s not her.

[Armchair Critic]

Just now, saber5055 said:

Now Arie, on the other hand ... (well, before his season that is.)

I know, I found Arie sexy on Emily's season too, he would have been better off not coming back because it ruined his image.

[scenicbyway]

So dad has been brought in to bring Cassie home?

[saber5055]

Dad: "blah blah blah blah"

Cassie: sniffle, snot, sob.

Me: Time to go make a sandwich.

[Mabinogia]

What is with the do or die thing going on here? She's known the guy a month. What is wrong with dating him for a while and see if that 100% comes? They are acting like she will be forced into marriage if she "wins". WTF is wrong with these people? 

I can't help but wonder if she called daddy to come bail her out because she realized she might actually win this thing and not get Bachelorette or Paradise like she'd planned. 

Edited March 5, 2019 by Mabinogia

[Armchair Critic]

2 minutes ago, scenicbyway said:

Has it ever been determined that Colton actually wants to lose his virginity?  He seems to have no game, even his kisses are bland.

I do wonder if he is gay but so repressed that he doesn't want to admit it or even realize it?

[dizzyd]

Cassie has a lot of growing up to do and her dad knows it. 

[Diana Berry]

Is cassie's dad the smartest man to ever be on this show ?

[nutty1]

Cassie’s dad is probably the most rational father in the history of the show!

[Mu Shu]

Cassie’s dad is a cockblock, but since there was no cock to block, waste of cockblocking. Jump the damn fence!!!! Send Cassie to Siberia where no one can hear her up talk 

[scenicbyway]

Does Cassie’s dad breakup with all of her boyfriends for her?

”Just be brutally honest with him, it will be fine.”

**Colton jumps fence because Cassie’s dad broke up with him**

Chris Harrison for next Bach!

[hippydoo]

1 minute ago, Armchair Critic said:

I do wonder if he is gay but so repressed that he doesn't want to admit it or even realize it?

Yes this. I feel the same way. He didn't even have passion with Becca and with the other girl on BIP they just seemed like good friends. 

[Mabinogia]

OK, that Kay's commercial, where the guy asks the girls son for permission is the only time that shit should be done. 

[bosawks]

1 minute ago, Diana Berry said:

Is cassie's dad the smartest man to ever be on this show ?

Yes he is!

But, to be fair, that’s not saying a whole helluva lot...

[dizzyd]

We've spent more than an hour on 1/2 of Cassie's date, haven't even made it to dinner. Hannah G's getting nothing. RIP Luke Perry!

[JenE4]

Wow, they flew Dad all the way to Portugal to interrupt the middle of the date. Harrison really doesn’t want Colton to lose his virginity.

[Armchair Critic]

Knowing this show the fence jump will be right at the end of the program tonight...

[Mu Shu]

Ah.  Poor kid.  He really likes this idiot.

[Armchair Critic]

This whole season needs a powder, everybody's faces are always so shiny

[kugrrl]

Like I think like Colton is going to like hop the like fence soon.

Edited March 5, 2019 by kugrrl

[JenE4]

Colton lit the candles THEN left for dinner?!? Jesus! Now we know why he jumps the wall—to escape the freaking hotel burning down!

[SallyAlbright]

Painful. He really likes her and she is so not into him. 

[nutty1]

Cassie is young....and it shows. 

[scenicbyway]

She doesn’t seem to understand that she’s not required to marry him...

[Armchair Critic]

She just called him "sweet" which is the kiss of death, she is gently trying to turn him down. Cue the fence jump!

[scenicbyway]

If they were both 5 years older it might’ve worked.

[Ohwell]

Dad's visit to Cassie reminded  me of when Becca's meathead ex- boyfriend came to visit her in whatever country that was to "win her back."

[bosawks]

I can’t tell if this would be more painful if she was even a little bit articulate or less...