S05.E02: Polygamists in a Shark Tank

[DakotaJustice]

I don't know about that... I bet it does translate to more sales. I would be shocked if their one-hour infomercials didn't translate to sales.  We're here to snark, but many of their viewers probably aren't, and would buy their stuff, moreso if they have a one-hour weekly reminder.

Not if the website doesn't work.  It crashes EVERY Sunday, almost without fail.

Also, at CJ's blog, we noted that the order page is NOT https.  Which means that you enter your personal and payment info including your card number, it's not protected/encrypted.  As I said on the blog, I opened the order page on my work laptop and the security firewall caught it right away.  So not only are potential customers pissing away money on crap, they are running a VERY high risk of having their data compromised.

 

Also, based on this season and the last season, I think TLC/the producers/the Browns have determined that their audience for snark/trainwreck meets or exceeds their "fans".  This is being proven out on the FB pages for both the show and MSWC.

Edited June 19, 2014 by DakotaJustice

[SometimesBites]

Not if the website doesn't work.  It crashes EVERY Sunday, almost without fail.

Also, at CJ's blog, we noted that the order page is NOT https.  Which means that you enter your personal and payment info including your card number, it's not protected/encrypted.  As I said on the blog, I opened the order page on my work laptop and the security firewall caught it right away.  So not only are potential customers pissing away money on crap, they are running a VERY high risk of having their data compromised.

 

Also, based on this season and the last season, I think TLC/the producers/the Browns have determined that their audience for snark/trainwreck meets or exceeds their "fans".  This is being proven out on the FB pages for both the show and MSWC.

And their response to the website failure is to repeatedly tweet blame onto those attempting access. Even with an added "thank you" or smiley emoticon thrown in, that's such typical Brown assign-blame-elsewhere bullshit. What a frantic mess.

[DakotaJustice]

I finally wandered over to the Web site. I guess they can add me to the number of gawkers who won't buy anything. The pictures on the home page are too big, and I love the My SisterWifes Closet grammar issues. I can't believe they brought that in and asked anyone for $2.5 million dollars. It must have been TLC staging, because even if that investor was their friend, there is no way he would have bothered to call in his colleagues when the site is that unprofessional. Its clear they didn't pay much for the site design, which I would excuse except they found money for 4 huge houses. All those investors got paid by TLC to sit there, guaranteed. If they are even real investors and not actors. The whole thing is ridiculous.

 

Are they ever going to talk about why Logan never comes home?

Oh I'm totally convinced that MSWC is just in existence purely as a plot line.  The numbers Kody gave were all made up and pulled out of his butt, as were the numbers given by Janelle, and the google trivia from Christine.  It was all for TV.  That's all.

 

I'm guessing Logan is keeping his distance as much as possible so he can focus on his studies and so on.  GOOD FOR HIM since Janelle was talking about trying to get Logan to move home instead of living in the dorms.   I'm thinking we'll see the same from Maddie.

[3girlsforus]

I don't know about that... I bet it does translate to more sales. I would be shocked if their one-hour infomercials didn't translate to sales.  We're here to snark, but many of their viewers probably aren't, and would buy their stuff, moreso if they have a one-hour weekly reminder.

I agree this is quite often the case because frankly people are stupid and will buy something just because it's linked to someone "famous".... hence the Kardashians. But If this was the case I would think it would have already translated into more sales than 500 orders in 2 years. 

[DakotaJustice]

I agree this is quite often the case because frankly people are stupid and will buy something just because it's linked to someone "famous".... hence the Kardashians. But If this was the case I would think it would have already translated into more sales than 500 orders in 2 years. 

I don't watch or follow the Kardashians, but I have a couple of pieces of clothing (a blazer and a sweater) from the Bebe Kardashian collection.  I didn't even see the name in the blazer until after I tried it on and really liked it.  Still wear it from time to time :)  The difference is that they at least have taste and style, while the Browns most certainly do not.  (PS - some of my favorite pumps are from Jessica Simpson's shoe line too...)

[wrestlesflamingos]

Jessica Simpson is on track to be a legit mid-market brand. The Browns are 5 years away from not being able to afford her stuff.

[Featherhat]

Many famous people/reality stars have started brands, some successfully and others not so successfully. Some have been really involved some have just put their names on random crap (Duck Dynasty I'm looking at you). I think if they got a large batch of sales every episode or even steady they'd have mentioned it before now and they'd have looked slightly less pathetic in the investment pitch.

[wrestlesflamingos]

Many famous people/reality stars have started brands, some successfully and others not so successfully. Some have been really involved some have just put their names on random crap (Duck Dynasty I'm looking at you). I think if they got a large batch of sales every episode or even steady they'd have mentioned it before now and they'd have looked slightly less pathetic in the investment pitch.

 

I think this is a pretty good point.  If you are using your show as a means of advertising, it's probably not great to show how little passion the family has for the business or how the business is managed poorly.  I can see the Browns being idiots about that message but not venture capitalists.  It leads me to wonder if the thing is entirely a plot device.

[3girlsforus]

I don't watch or follow the Kardashians, but I have a couple of pieces of clothing (a blazer and a sweater) from the Bebe Kardashian collection.  I didn't even see the name in the blazer until after I tried it on and really liked it.  Still wear it from time to time :)  The difference is that they at least have taste and style, while the Browns most certainly do not.  (PS - some of my favorite pumps are from Jessica Simpson's shoe line too...)

I actually didn't know the Kardashians even had a clothing line. I'm so oblivious to them that I recently asked someone why that woman was having another big fancy wedding when they just had one a year or two ago... not realizing she'd already been divorced and was getting married again LOL. I just think they are an example of someone people seem to be infatuated with and might buy something just because their name is on it. The difference is you bought something because you liked it and it happened to have their name on it. Kody and the clan can't even dream of that happening because their stuff is crap and their sales will only be those who buy it because they are fans. If infomercials and fan worship was going to be enough to carry the business it would have already done so. They just aren't that kind of celebrity. 

[momofsquid]

Oh I'm totally convinced that MSWC is just in existence purely as a plot line.  The numbers Kody gave were all made up and pulled out of his butt, as were the numbers given by Janelle, and the google trivia from Christine.  It was all for TV.  That's all.

I agree that it has to be a plot line. I know these people are delusional, but even they can't really be that stupid (can they?). The ONLY market for their product is the subset of their fans who have money to waste on this stuff. Who else would be interested in the crap Kody designed for his wives or polygamy-themed pendants? Strong woman my butt, we all know SW stands for Sister Wives. And as interest in the show dwindles, so will their market. Anyone with two brain cells can see that. They might as well be selling Sister Wives t-shirts or bumper stickers. It's fan swag.

 

And since when is the whole family fully invested in the project anyway? Last season's plot was all about how poor widdle Robyn was all on her onesies here. Now suddenly they're all on board, they all have jobs and job titles, they all see this as the means to provide a family income. I guess last year's plot wasn't working so they tweaked it. Maybe those 500 fans who bought the junk said, "We want to hear more about the business!" And all the nonsense about Meri ditching poor Robyn to go back to school when Meri was Robyn's only ally in the business -- what about last season when Meri skipped the trade show to get her hair done or something? Have we deleted that incident from the history?

 

No one who is trying to establish a business -- and get a 2.5 million dollar investment -- really thinks the buying public and the potential investors are going to make financial decisions based on how much the wannabes want it to work. For crap's sake, they even suggested that a few tears from Robyn might seal the deal. Can they really be that stupid? I say no, they're assuming that the viewing public is stupid enough to swallow this plot line, and it's pissing me off! 

[RedheadZombie]

Jessica Simpson is on track to be a legit mid-market brand. The Browns are 5 years away from not being able to afford her stuff.

 

 

I know very little about fashion, but have friends who follow it closely.  According to them, Jessica's clothing line was really a project began by her mother, and Jessica simply lends her name to the real people who develop her clothing line.  I've heard this over and over again.

[DakotaJustice]

I know very little about fashion, but have friends who follow it closely.  According to them, Jessica's clothing line was really a project began by her mother, and Jessica simply lends her name to the real people who develop her clothing line.  I've heard this over and over again.

I still love her pumps though! So cute n comfy!!!

[SometimesBites]

Hm...interesting. I just went onto MSWC again, and there is no longer a link (that I could find) to the lame-o blog page that was there yesterday. And as of this morning, my "suggestions" were still on the FB page, along with a LOT of other--shall we say--scathing comments. They are living in such a la-la land; I can just imagine their shock if the goofy infomercial plots they cook up actually cause discomfiting public backlash.

 

God, I love this circus.

[firedancer41]

Why do none of the wives wear wedding rings anymore?

<snip>

STAY tuned for a crossover episode with Pawn Stars, also in Vegas!

[camom]

 

Are they ever going to talk about why Logan never comes home?

 

I assume that once the children turn 18, they get their own contract to do the show.  Mariah obviously wants to be on camera and I'm guessing that Logan doesn't.  And, as an adult, no one can make him (unlike the little kids, who don't really have a choice in the matter).  Maybe he is (gasp!) actually taking his education seriously.

[Absolom]

Logan seemed to me ready to bail on the circus as soon as he acceptably could.  He was more a father than Kody to his younger siblings and was in charge of breakfast and getting them off to school.  He always seemed to me to think his family was a mess and while he loves them he was ready to quit being relied on far too much.  I'm happy for him and if he doesn't want to be there for filming and wants to finally have a life of his own, he should go for it. 

[SometimesBites]

Mariah obviously wants to be on camera...

True, that. After all, she is--in her own words--a television star.

[DakotaJustice]

Logan seemed to me ready to bail on the circus as soon as he acceptably could.  He was more a father than Kody to his younger siblings and was in charge of breakfast and getting them off to school.  He always seemed to me to think his family was a mess and while he loves them he was ready to quit being relied on far too much.  I'm happy for him and if he doesn't want to be there for filming and wants to finally have a life of his own, he should go for it. 

I agree.  Logan's been my favorite overall on the show.  that includes the adults AND the kids.  It looks like Maddie is doing the same thing and getting as far from the show as she can.  Remember she was the one who objected to the "church service" being filmed and refused to participate?  

I assume that once the children turn 18, they get their own contract to do the show.  Mariah obviously wants to be on camera and I'm guessing that Logan doesn't.  And, as an adult, no one can make him (unlike the little kids, who don't really have a choice in the matter).  Maybe he is (gasp!) actually taking his education seriously.

that would be interesting, from the little that's been revealed the family gets paid in one shot, not individually. 

[Rhondinella]

Not exactly sure how these contracts work, but people speculate this has happened with the kids on 19 Kids and Counting who are 18 and over as well.

[Armchair Critic]

Snooty Mariah benefitted from the TLC money and got to attend an expensive college. Those poor younger kids will be screwed when the gravy train ends, they will be lucky to go to a community college.

[DakotaJustice]

I'd love to see one of those TLC contracts. They aren't SAG so they can come up with whatever deal they want I suppose.

Jon G was the only one with balls to come out and reveal what they got and look at him now.

[3girlsforus]

Is it possible that Mariah can go to Westminster because she has her own TLC contract now so that's where the money came from?

[Kohola3]

Is it possible that Mariah can go to Westminster because she has her own TLC contract now so that's where the money came from?

 

Even if she did, I seriously doubt they would pay her more than a few bucks for the milliseconds she's on.  Despite her self assessment of stardom, she's a very minor player in this train wreck.

[RedheadZombie]

Logan seemed to me ready to bail on the circus as soon as he acceptably could.  He was more a father than Kody to his younger siblings and was in charge of breakfast and getting them off to school.  He always seemed to me to think his family was a mess and while he loves them he was ready to quit being relied on far too much.  I'm happy for him and if he doesn't want to be there for filming and wants to finally have a life of his own, he should go for it. 

 

Agreed.  He made several comments that back this up.  He said when he turned eighteen, he was "out of there" and making his own decisions.  He also said he realizes he's a role model to his younger siblings, but if he waited for them all to grow up, he will be an old man.  On TWoP, some people criticized Logan and accused him of drinking the Kool-Aid.  I never thought that.  I think that Logan is very clear eyed when it comes to polygamy, but unlike his brother Hunter, he remained an obedient and respectful son.  I think Logan's younger siblings must really miss him, and he was Janelle's de facto husband, so I wonder if the family is struggling a little to adjust.

[DakotaJustice]

Agreed.  He made several comments that back this up.  He said when he turned eighteen, he was "out of there" and making his own decisions.  He also said he realizes he's a role model to his younger siblings, but if he waited for them all to grow up, he will be an old man.  On TWoP, some people criticized Logan and accused him of drinking the Kool-Aid.  I never thought that.  I think that Logan is very clear eyed when it comes to polygamy, but unlike his brother Hunter, he remained an obedient and respectful son.  I think Logan's younger siblings must really miss him, and he was Janelle's de facto husband, so I wonder if the family is struggling a little to adjust.

And remember when the whole house buying drama was going on, one of Kody's/Janelle's reasons for having so many bedrooms was to try and coax Logan into living at home instead of the dorms.  I think there was a TH of Logan saying basically that if he did that, he'd be spending his non-school hours babysitting.  Mostly for Robyn, no doubt.  (I remember Robyn was annoyed that he would actually up and LEAVE, as well).

 

I think Logan is very diplomatic, he probably feels the same way Hunter does about polygamy but he stays polite and plays his cards very close to his vest.  A little like his mom, but more like his late uncle Curtis, who out of all the family we've seen so far seems to have had the most common sense.

Edited June 22, 2014 by DakotaJustice

[SometimesBites]

Snooty Mariah benefitted from the TLC money and got to attend an expensive college. Those poor younger kids will be screwed when the gravy train ends, they will be lucky to go to a community college.

 

It will be a different world for the youngers, for sure. I'm glad they have their older sibs to look up to as examples.

 

And just a plug for community colleges, for the Browns and EVERYONE: I began my education at a community college and ended up being accepted for transfer to Stanford on a full scholarship. With hard work, community colleges are a great, CHEAP route to an outstanding degree. So, we'll keep our collective fingers crossed that each of those Brown kids finds an emergency exit off the crazy train. :)

[overbooked]

I did a search for those watches they have on their site.  They are dirt cheap on Amazon and some styles are sold in a 3-pack for $12.00 or even less.  They obviously had nothing to do with the design of these items.  Why on earth would they put such crap on their site?  They really are clueless.  And the ordering page is not secure?  What legitimate online business would operate this way?

[camom]

 

that would be interesting, from the little that's been revealed the family gets paid in one shot, not individually.

 

If the over 18 kids WANT to continue on the show with no additional compensation, they certainly can (I can see Mariah doing that because she likes her "fame"). But once they turn 18, no one can make them.  If TLC wants them on the show they would have to either offer them a contract or not film them.  The younger kids have to do what their parents tell them to.  It's unfortunate that SAG rules (and child labor laws) don't apply to reality shows.  I miss seeing Logan, but also cheer him for not being a big part of the circus.  

 

Apparently on tonight's episode, they are throwing a party to thank Kody.  Thank him for what exactly?

[Kohola3]

Thank him for what exactly?

 

Turning everything he touches to gold?  Although, much like the Emperor's New Clothes, he's apparently the only one who can see it.

[LazyToaster]

I thought it was a birthday party for Kody.

[Absolom]

The parents could pressure the adult children to appear, but you're right production can't require it.  Most TLC shows try to pay just one check to the family and it's up to them how they divide it.  Other adults can decide to appear for the limited fame of it or try to negotiate for payment. 

[DakotaJustice]

I thought it was a birthday party for Kody.

oh my freaking LORD.  AGAIN????  is he going to get a more fun present this time?  We're supposed to see Janelle "Face her biggest fear" by doing some indoor climbing which is actually one of my favorite activities.  Sean posted a truly awful photo of Janelle about 5 feet up the wall with him below leaning against the wall and presumably saying something motivational.  If I was Janelle, I'd ask him to take it down!

 

Absolom that's what I heard too.  One check.  Again they aren't SAG, so the usual TV royalties and payments don't apply (meaning the Browns don't collect residuals or royalties on reruns, DVDs. etc).  I'm sure Sean is getting something since he seems to be on every freaking week.  I think for this year (from the beginning of January onward) we might have seen Logan on for a total of maybe 2 minutes, not counting the Tell All (zzz!) at the end of February.  Mariah apparently LOOOOOOOVES being on TV so she probably never asked for any payment.  Also, my best friend who is in the broadcasting industry states that TLC is known to be notoriously cheap, so I doubt they're paying those big numbers we hear ($75k per adult per ep LOL).  Sure, the Browns could leave, but what other network has the kind of drek that TLC does and who wants them??  TLC has all the cards in this game.

Edited June 22, 2014 by DakotaJustice

[Micks Picks]

Hi DakotaJustice, I seem to remember you from someplace.  Not sure where.  I was Border Collie on some boards.  I'm with you in hating the continuous party themes that TLC seems to be so fond of for all their reality families.  My fingers are tired of being down my throat on those episodes, no matter who the family is.  Didn't the Browns get heavily involved in MLM marketing for LIV or something, the green goop?  Do they still do that?  That's a lot more lucrative than the stupid jewelry.  And do you recall some time ago them having aprons and tshirts on the website with shark and toaster sayings on them?  

 

By saying the MLM green goop stuff is worth more, I mean it would be financially for them since they have such a base to sell the junk.  The schemes are immoral if you ask me.  But I'm not familiar with their planet.

[Spiderella2]

Laughing at fidiot Robin saying that Meri going to school is going to take her "away from the family." As in SWC is a ball and chain that everyone in the family must drag. Robyn can't understand why Meri needs school? Omg, what a moron. The world does not revolve around SWC and your uterus. Dumbo.

[Rhondinella]

I think Robyn is just upset that she has missed out on so many years of the family "closeness".  I mean, not that these ladies were ever best friends, I don't think, but probably when their kids were all younger they were more closely bonded in helping raise each other's kids and such.  Now that they are getting past that stage (in Meri's case, completely) I think Robyn is pissed that she won't get to participate in that.  And not just for the "help" with her kids, although that's part of it, but I think she came into the family expecting that the wives would all be involved in each others' lives forever.  And Meri, who clearly could not be less into the idea of sister wives, is finally breaking free and all like, 'Nope. I'm audi!'  I think it's kind fun to see Robyn's expectations frustrated.

[ghoulina]

You hit the nail on the head, Rhondinella. There have always been issues, but when they were all living in one home and had small kids around the same age - there was probably a lot more time spent together, bonding, etc. Robyn came into the game late. She has never lived with any of them, and now people are kind of off doing their own thing and I can see her just wanting to stamp her foot and have a big, old fit about it. I think she thought she'd be fun and nice and everyone would love her and gather around her, and that's clearly not happening. It's odd, because Meri used to be her bosom buddy and they seem more distant this season. But Christine, for some reason, seems to be brown-nosing Robyn a little bit. 

[Rhondinella]

Yeah I agree.  Plus, she seems to forget that Meri's been helping raise the other kids for 20 years or so now.  So I can see Meri thinking, 'I put in my time already.'  I don't blame her really.

[ghoulina]

I don't really know how much Meri helped with the other kids, though. For those who have read the book - is that ever addressed? How much did she actually work outside the home all those years? I don't know, I just remember the early episodes in their "plyg house", where we'd see Jenelle's kids and Christine's all mingling together - then cut to a shot of Meri and Mariah eating alone in their apartment. I have a feeling Christine did the lion's share with the kids, Jenelle worked, and Meri probably kept to herself. I'm not saying she never helped out at all, but I think she's probably more sick of the larger family dynamic than running after kids. 

[BradandJanet]

Remember, hearty target demographic, we have to help Kody "build his empire." That comment irked me as much as the everything turns to gold nonsense.

 

The website seems to be quiet tonight. I guess the curiosity checking doesn't last long past the end of the episode.  I put an ugly, overpriced watch into my shopping cart to see if the website checkout was secure. Nope. It just wanted me to enter my credit card information. Bye, bye.

 

[Kohola3]

Except for the fact that their website is essentially non-functioning since it crashes on a regular basis, especially during and after the infomercial.  You'd think that quarter of a mill would have been used to make the only option for sales at least somewhat functional.

Edited June 26, 2014 by Kohola3

[DakotaJustice]

Turns out "Stephanie K" is an actress/talk show/reality show host.  So much for being a VC - it appears to have all been an act.

 

Micks Picks HI - I also post at CJ's blog :)

Edited June 25, 2014 by DakotaJustice

[SometimesBites]

Turns out "Stephanie K" is an actress/talk show/reality show host.  So much for being a VC - it appears to have all been an act.

 

Micks Picks HI - I also post at CJ's blog :)

Fantastic catch, DJ!

[overbooked]

I enjoyed seeing the older kids ( minus Mariah)  in last night's episode.  It seems, at this point, that none of them are committed to living the plural marriage lifestyle. And no mention of joory. 

[BitchOnWheelz]

I was totally taken aback by several of Robin's comments regarding her stress level, need for another baby (WHY????) in conjunction with the venture capital funding. She mentioned that she's so tired and worn thin from doing everything herself and that "this money" will allow her to have more of a life AND have a baby (she said something along those lines).  How does the injection of money into their business translate into Robin having less stress, more time on her hands and time to have a baby???  Wouldn't this money actually mean MORE work for her in developing new products and processing more orders?  That would be a time where they would all have to buckle down and prove themselves and pay back the money.

 

I was also surprised that they were relying on this money to prove  a "therry" (their word, not mine) that more products would mean more "sells" (their pronunciation, not mine).  Their product selection is super scattered and has no rhyme or reason to it whatsoever.  And what is up with the "Music" they're selling?  There is no description.

 

These people are bricks for sure.  Gold bricks... since everything they touch turns to gold.

Edited June 30, 2014 by tinewcomer

[Absolom]

Very little Robyn has ever said has made sense to me.  She is the one who thought Wyoming began with a Y after all.  I don't think she understands real work and has seen this family as one big soft place to fall and expects to have them take care of her.  I don't think she has much of a grasp of what she was supposed to be portraying in that episode.

[Rhondinella]

She is the one who thought Wyoming began with a Y after all.

 

 

Oh, please tell me what episode this is in.  I must have missed it, but I definitely want to see it!

[Absolom]

I don't remember the episode name.  I do remember a vehicle broken down and they were stuck beside the road, but that could have been two or three different episodes.  I think it was either on a trip to Wyoming or the move to Vegas. 

[DakotaJustice]

It was in Season 2 - before the big Vegas announcement. They went to visit Kody's dad/mom/ Janelle's mom at their ranch.

[SometimesBites]

It was in Season 2 - before the big Vegas announcement. They went to visit Kody's dad/mom/ Janelle's mom at their ranch.

Yes. They stopped for a photo op along the way. When the kids were sitting along a low wall at the lookout, RobYn made a big Y with her arms and said, "Everybody make a Y, for Wyoming!" A classic.

[Rhondinella]

Well, it is hard to make a W with your arms all by yourself.  But that was probably not the rationale.