S23.E08: Week 8 - Hometown Dates

[OnceSane]

Quote

Colton joins the four remaining bachelorettes in their hometowns; after a devastating exit, three women look forward to the fantasy suites; Colton has a conversation with Chris Harrison.

Airs February 25, 2019.

[JenE4]

Point one for Caelynn. She stood still and made The Bachelor run to HER! Damn, girl! We are living in a post-Bachelor Handshake [Bachelor] nation now.

[saber5055]

Spike Lee gave Samuel L. Jackson the Bachelor Handshake last night on the Oscars. Thank goodness Caelynn did not do the same to Colt-ton.

ETA: @JenE4 beat me to it. LOL!

[tennisgurl]

I do like that this season, its not all "my parents have been married for 40 years and they're so perfect..." and there are some more complicated backstories this season.

[Mabinogia]

1 minute ago, tennisgurl said:

I do like that this season, its not all "my parents have been married for 40 years and they're so perfect..." and there are some more complicated backstories this season.

It is kind of nice to see some children of divorce this season. As one myself, with an awesome stepdad I was a little taken aback by her saying he wouldn't be meeting her dad. He is meeting your dad, he's just not meeting your birth father. I know she explained that, but I always think of my step dad as my dad. Of course I haven't spoken to my father since I was teenager and told him not to contact me again if he couldn't stop talking shit about my mom. 

I still forking hate the whole "permission" thing. I wish her dad would have been, you can't have my permission because she's not my property but I will welcome you into the family if she chooses to accept your proposal. I do get the impression he was slightly like "why are you asking me this you idiot?" but he was more gracious than I am and played along. 

[JenE4]

All the roses for step-dad John. No rose for sister and her horrendous orange eyeshadow and fake lashes somehow possibly on backwards (thicker and longer on the inside of her eyes). Barely a word to mom, which was odd. Maybe she was out entertaining the 30-member famewhorish extended family or possible rando attendees. Oh, the “coming up” had a crowd cheering Hannah. Is this a new thing—invite everyone you know and then kick them out for 1:1 conversations?

[saber5055]

I've obviously been watching this franchise too long because these hometowns are all the same, they are interchangeable: "How can you know after such a short time." "I don't want you to get hurt." "What are your intentions with my daughter." "I only want what's best for you" and on and on. Only a few families stray from the script, because it all has to be scripted.

IRL, wouldn't the families have this talk with the daughter/sister BEFORE she signs up for and gets accepted for the show? Wouldn't they have watched at least ONE season of this show? Once the b-ette is a F4 there is no changing the forward motion she has to be either F1 or the next B-ette.

These manipulated hometowns treat us viewers like we're dumbasses.

ETA: Bachelor Handshake is alive and well in Alabama I guess. Then they are going to an etiquette class! LMAO!

Edited February 26, 2019 by saber5055

[Mabinogia]

3 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

ETA: Bachelor Handshake is alive and well in Alabama I guess. Then they are going to an etiquette class! LMAO!

I love the little "ooof" sound he made as she attacked him. 

If I could think of two things that do NOT belong together it is the Bachelor and Etiquette. WTF

Edited February 26, 2019 by Mabinogia

[Mu Shu]

This etiquette thing is fucking stupid.

[saber5055]

Based on what this etiquette "teacher" is saying about Hannah and her "umbrella" would make me skip meeting her parents and get on the next plane out of Alabama, STAT.

[tennisgurl]

I don’t remember many Bachelor handshakes in Miss Manners...

[JenE4]

Just now, Mu Shu said:

This etiquette thing is fucking stupid.

It totally is. Yet, I laughed so hard at Colton’s incredulous, “Who has time  to butter ONE BITE of BREAD!?!”

[nlkm9]

So i thought caellyn’s Mom was very very pretty- good genes there. Her sister , she reminded me of Brit, but it almost looks like she has a disfigurement in her left eye- if i am wrong forgive me for being so insensitive, something just isn’t right there. Omg her dad. What a lovely man. Oh and they just announced Colton did a video with o-town? I didn’t even know they were still around!!

[Mabinogia]

1 minute ago, saber5055 said:

Based on what this etiquette "teacher" is saying about Hannah and her "umbrella" would make me skip meeting her parents and get on the next plane out of Alabama, STAT.

What I got out of that was that Hannah can't take care of herself and needs a babysitter. I'd be right there in the seat next to you on the plane. YIKES

[Mu Shu]

On a shallow note, if you want to know what your wife will look like in middle age, look at her mother.  Pick Caelynn. 

Maybe Hanah was a switched baby.

[tennisgurl]

3 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

“Who has time  to butter ONE BITE of BREAD!?!”

Heh, Colton has never been more relatable!

[Mabinogia]

Why is virginity scary? 

[saber5055]

Just once I wish a parent would say: "Sally was such a brat growing up, like she knew everything and did whatever she wanted regardless of what we tried to tell her or teach her. If she gets her ass kicked by marrying this jerkface Colt-ton, then it serves her right. Be careful what you wish for and good luck with that you little snot. Now git off my lawn."

[tennisgurl]

Does him being a virgin "scare" her? What, do they think his dick is actually a knife? You get scarred of a potential partner who has a sound proof basement no one knows about, not someone who hasn't boned anyone yet.

[saber5055]

Drinking game: "I don't want you to get hurt."

*drink*

Later in the show drinking game: "Virgin."

*drink*

[GracieK]

6 minutes ago, nlkm9 said:

So i thought caellyn’s Mom was very very pretty- good genes there. Her sister , she reminded me of Brit, but it almost looks like she has a disfigurement in her left eye- if i am wrong forgive me for being so insensitive, something just isn’t right there. Omg her dad. What a lovely man. Oh and they just announced Colton did a video with o-town? I didn’t even know they were still around!!

I can’t tell if it’s a disfigurement or she doesn’t know how to wear falsies. She’s definitely not afraid to dress for attention. 

[saber5055]

"Listen to your gut."

My gut says it wants pizza. Yours?

[tennisgurl]

Will some dad ever be like "I mean, I support your relationship, but its not up to me if she marries you, its up to her. She isnt a tractor your borrowing for the weekend." Or something. I mean, I get why they dont wanna say that on TV (step dad John looked kinda confused!) but what?

[Adeejay]

Colton, Colton, Colton.  It's "Thanks for inviting me into your home" not "your house".  If Colton wants to see what Hannah will potentially look like in 25 years, perhaps he should take a look at her mama.  Just saying. I noticed that he can't stop kissing Hannah, I can't remember if he kissed Caelyn.  He also told Hannah that he was "really" falling in love with her. 

[JenE4]

I think the whole family Hannah thinks she’s actually marrying Colton. Mom is proud of her for falling in love on a TV show? Wait, Colton just told Hannah he’s falling in love with her, but didn’t he tell Caelynn the same thing? Oh, wow, the coming up, just had him telling Tayshia’s dad he’s falling in love with HER. Oh, Colton, no wonder why he has to jump over a wall...to avoid the mob with pitchforks coming after him for leading ALL of these women AND their families into thinking she’s The One!

[SHD]

Whose answer to what an umbrella is for is “to protect things from falling on us”?!

[saber5055]

2 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:

I get why they don't wanna say that on TV

Maybe because women (read: girls) are still thought of as possessions by Fleiss, who runs this franchise and, therefore, all bachs are required to ask dad for permission.

What if the b-ette doesn't have a dad? Then the engagement won't happen? Heaven forbid the guy should ask mom since moms are only there to make dinner and clean the house.

2 minutes ago, Adeejay said:

It's "Thanks for inviting me into your home" not "your house".

It's possible that wasn't their home but a rented house. Just a thought!

[Ripley68]

Has a lead ever told all his finals that he was falling in love with them? I thought that was taboo - especially after JoJo's dude told her and his final (was that Ben - I started watching on Jo's season) that he loved both of them.

Hannah's Mom is VERY southern/Alabama stereotype mom.  I'm an Alabama transplant, and those Mom's who were born and raised here are VERY protective and attached to their daughters.

[JenE4]

A woman driving?!?!?  😮 The horror!

[CraftyHazel]

LOL...that jump instructor is wickedly funny!

[saber5055]

My reaction to taking the blindfold off while standing in front of a sky-diving plane: "Oh, FUCK no."

[Adeejay]

Colton should eliminate Tyasha's arse, for that stunt.  He was clearly terrified.  I wonder whose idea it was. 

[SHD]

Ugh...”You go get it girl!” Hannah’s Mom sounds like one of those Toddlers and Tiaras moms.

[saber5055]

6 minutes ago, Ripley68 said:

Has a lead ever told all his finals that he was falling in love with them?

That's the new thing now, to create drah-mah that the Bach is in love with all these women, how can he choose, what if he chooses the wrong one, what if the one he chooses says no, yada yada. This is all in a VO while he does a drah-ma filled Mesnick off the balcony before he hooks up with Neil Lane.

[nlkm9]

Tayisha, girl you are so cute but take it down a notch- she is so so so competitive and i went from loving her to not seeing any sincerity. She wants to win. I think if he dumps her it will be crocodile tears and she will move on immediately . I am worried about Hannah tho- she is soo sweet. Caellyn has a totally flat affect- i feel bad for her, i think her attack has really screwed her up and i hope she can get some help. Cassie- as Elaine on Seinfeld says “ fake fake fake fake fake” so I’m rooting for Hannah. Lol.

[DEL901]

So, he’s told the first two he is falling in love with them.... wonder if he’ll go 4 for 4?

[saber5055]

7 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

A woman driving?!?!?  😮 The horror!

Oh, yeah, that was a tip off to me about what it would be like to be married to that dude. Red Flag City.

At least his eyes weren't laughing while he was talking to Tayisha. He could barely keep himself from bursting into laughter when he told Hannah he "loved her." Yeah, right. NOT.

[hyacinth]

What exactly does Colton think "I'm falling in love with you" means?    

Edited February 26, 2019 by hyacinth

[saber5055]

Nice job closing the door Colt-ton you goof. At least the brother knows how to do that.

[hyacinth]

Tayshia's father!!    Best questions ever.    

[tennisgurl]

Colton looked full stop terrified at that jump, Tayshia might be chopped just for that!

[saber5055]

Colt-ton asks Tayisha's dad for permission to marry his daughter.

Tayisha's dad: "I just met you." So, basically, that's a big no.

Tayisha's dad for the win!

Although Colt-ton could have made the talk go smoother by telling him he's not picking her anyway so no big deal. (Not a spoiler, I'm just sayin'.)

[Adeejay]

Taysha's parents look young.  Her father is very intense.  I have a feeling that her Dad gave his blessings for her first marriage and because it didn't work out, he is reluctant to do so again. 

[EllenB]

31 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Just once I wish a parent would say: "Sally was such a brat growing up, like she knew everything and did whatever she wanted regardless of what we tried to tell her or teach her. If she gets her ass kicked by marrying this jerkface Colt-ton, then it serves her right. Be careful what you wish for and good luck with that you little snot. Now git off my lawn."

That actually happened on Charlie's season!  Good times, good times.  I think the young woman's father may have called her a psychopath, too.

[Adeejay]

So, Taysha's Dad raised her to make good decisions, and yet, here she is a divorcee.  Just saying.

Edited February 26, 2019 by Adeejay

[saber5055]

Tayisha's brother for next Bachelor.

[tennisgurl]

I do love the vibes (or full on saying!) that so many dads are giving with Colton saying how he is totally falling in love with their daughters. Like, you've known her for about a month? And are also dating several other women? What now?

[SallyAlbright]

I love Tayshia's dad. 

[JenE4]

Go, Mr. Tayshia, calling Colton out on using “falling in love” as a fallback and asking point blank if he’s said that to the other girls. I also how he turned around the “man-to-man talk” to say he hopes Colton will be respectful of Tayshia and be honest with her that he’s falling in love with the other women, too. Then, he knocks it out of the park with a similar reaction to Colton being expected to butter one bite of bread at a time: you want my permission to marry her—I just MET you. (Taking my rose from step-dad John and giving it to Tayshia’s Dad!)

[SHD]

Tayisha’s Dad: Just don’t lead anyone on.

Well, clearly SOMEONE has never watched The Bachelor.

Edited February 26, 2019 by SHD