S09.E18: Ai no i ka ʻape he maneʻo no ko ka nuku (He Who Eats ʻApe Is Bound to Have His Mouth Itch)

[BW Manilowe]

Quote

Tani and Junior go undercover at a gym to track down a deadly batch of steroids that’s killing users, before the drugs claim anymore victims. Also, Danny and McGarrett sub as bodyguards for Danny’s high maintenance ex-mother-in-law, Amanda Savage (Joan Collins), a wildly famous romance novelist, with whom he has never gotten along.

Original Airdate: March 8, 2019

Source: https://cbspressexpress.com/cbs-entertainment/shows/hawaii-five-0/releases/view?id=52037

[dwmarch]

While this may be an unpopular opinion, I couldn't help but like Amanda. And Steve was great in this episode. Danny was being a passive-aggressive dick but in the end he was able to get over himself and that isn't always the case with him. 5-0 has been hit and miss (mostly miss) with the "annoying relative shows up and ruins the life of the 5-0 member they are related to" trope but I thought this episode was the best among that pack.

I also loved the short, brutal fight between Junior the and roid-dudes and Tani leading the class about booty exercise. Adam and Jerry had good contributions and did not leave me wondering why they were involved.

All in all this episode turned out better than I could possibly have hoped.

[wanderingstar]

I haven't watched this show in ages, but my Mom told me about Joan Collins guest starring, so I tuned in. And I'm so glad I did. She was a delight as Amanda Savage ("Instead, I ended up in a place called Hackensack!") I loved the way she referred to Steve as "Steven, darling," and I thought she had great chemistry with Scott Caan's Danny. 

I couldn't tell you what happened in the rest of the episode, but it was nice to see that Joan Collins has still got it.

[Just my 2 cents]

4 hours ago, SweetTooth said:

She was intentionally cruel to him, giving Steve champagne and a gift and making Danny watch. Acting like he was a peasant and never even looking him in the eye.

I think Steve could have been a little more helpful, but he did try.  If I apply this to divorces that had a "monster-in-law, from what my mother said about my grandmother, Danny already got his greatest gift when he no longer had to deal with her on regular basis.

[Passepartout]

Really Steve along with Rachel and now Amanda, are takers as Danny is a giver. He gives of himself. And in that of really going out of his way, asking for nothing in return.  Really despite being annoying, Danny is a caring loving man. He should tell all three of them off. Danny stands up for Steve and at times, needs to stand up against him. They mistreat Danny like a peasant boy or a servant. He goes out of his way only to get nothing in return.

Lou and Adam the leads if Scott and Alex were to leave. The show would go to. But really Adam is a criminal giving a badge and gun. Please that is really not right. But love Lou however

Glad Amanda and Danny hate a lot in common than they thought. And hopefully they will have a better relationship in the not too distant future.

SEALS must now martial arts hence Junior and Steve? Junior three men he took out. 

[geauxaway]

I loved this ep!

only disappointment was not seeing Amanda spending any time with her grandkids.  Seemed weird to me.  Sure she mentioned she was headed to supper with them, but we could even get 1 scene?

guess they spent too much on the weekly budget getting JC.  🤣. She was amazing as always!

[HurricaneVal]

This?  Did not disappoint.  I loved it, even though it went pretty much as expected:  Danny instructs Steve to be on his best behavior dreading the arrival of his former mother-in-law; Joan Collins arrives and is the diva as expected and fawns over Steve and treats Danny like trash; Steve smugly enjoys it at first to tease Danny then realizes there's a core of actual cruelty and pain there then starts to try and direct and deflect the interactions; then comes the big reveal that Rachel's mom wasn't that bad after all; and Danny really can be a bigger man.

I loved it.  Joan Collins still brings it, and is obviously having fun kind of mocking her typecast character.  She had great chemistry with both Alex O'Loughlin and Scott Caan.   That scene where she claims to have picked up Steve's phone from the bedside table implying there had been nookie was delicious and entirely plausible, and the subsequent horror on Danny's face as he followed the trapline to the inevitable conclusion was hysterical.  I would have liked to see a little of Rachel's interaction with her mother, but I'm sure the budget was blown just with signing Joan Collins on.  I hope we see more of her, as apparently the great Danny and Rachel reconciliation is forthcoming--and I am not opposed. 

All the scenes with Joan Collins were fantastic, I'm sure she's had "work done" but it isn't horribly obvious, she doesn't look artificially pulled or tight or inexpressive.  (*cough*cough*Daryl Hannah*cough*cough*)  She still looks like herself from her heyday, just a little...softer and appropriately older.  Joan Collins seems to rely on good old-fashioned makeup to achieve her look, and hoolie goolie can she still rock that smoky eye.  I also think she must have some special rider in her contract that specifies a special "catch light" must be used to make the reflections in her eyes sparkle and shine and to differentiate her from the other actors.  This was really apparent in the last scene in the bar with Danny when they were both in close up shots.  Look at Scott Caan's eyes, he had the normal filmmaker's eye highlight reflections, then look at Joan Collins's eyes, she had a very special lighting that make her eyes look more lively and stand out.  Joan Collins is old school, and she knows her stuff.  Respect.

In other news, Tani obviously having no idea what to do in leading her booty busting aerobics class and making it up as she goes along and the students shrugging and following like lame club-dancing was the big new trend in fitness had me cracking the hell up.  And Junior kicking all kinds of ass was also amazing.  What was less amazing though, was the writers pushing Adam as a master investigator leading the team.  I can't remember what scene it was, but all of a sudden Adam, whose qualifications are "former Yakuza scion and former husband of a cop" is a detective extraordinaire?  No.  And I do love the Adam character, and I do care about his struggles, and I find Ian Anthony Dale to be thoroughly charming as an actor, but the writers are ret-conning and Mary-Sue-ing his character to the point of ridiculousness.  Stop it!

[GustheCat]

In terms of no grandchildren time with Joan Collins, I think the actress who plays the daughter lives in California now, and Charlie really has a hard time with delivering lines. I don't think it would have added anything to the show, I have been watching every episode and I do not recall Rachel's mother ever coming up in conversation in terms of a relationship with the grandchildren?

My beef with the show this week was the drug injection of Tani...just what was it that the Doctor injected into her shoulder area (a muscle, not a vein)? If you assume the killer chemical, it would not have gotten into her bloodstream as quickly as portrayed and I remember Noelani's explanation that it would take an hour or two for the people injecting it to have a heart attack from it? As you might guess, I didn't write down the name of the "bad" drug, so I can't research it or see if epinephrine is a counter-agent. I would hope the writers did their research on it, though. Also, Adam stabbing the needle into a muscle, same theory, it would not act instantaneously as portrayed.

I was also a bit disappointed that Danny didn't have a small "human nature" lecture for Joan once she tried to explain herself at the bar. Not in a cruel sense, but just in a life philosophy which I think could have connected them better. They both admire good people and behavior and want to be that way and want their children to be that way, so they should be acting the example.

Finally, we see a purposeful shot (by Lou) to stop a bad guy. Finally. And, I believe the body count this time was only the one 'roid freak, and it was the HPD! For once, HPD takes a beating but doesn't lose anyone. Can't count the first guy and the semi since he took himself out. Maybe if Joan Collins returns they will give her a badge and a gun and she can be involved in a shootout.

[MissLucas]

Well, I enjoyed Joan Collins diva-ing her way through this episode and ff the other plots. I wonder if her playing an author of romance novels was an homage to her late sister.

[BW Manilowe]

22 minutes ago, MissLucas said:

Well, I enjoyed Joan Collins diva-ing her way through this episode and ff the other plots. I wonder if her playing an author of romance novels was an homage to her late sister.

For some reason, that didn’t cross my mind until you said it (the bolded comment), though I’m completely familiar with the fact her sister, Jackie, was 1 of the bigger novelists of her day (Most people didn’t/don’t consider Jackie a “romance novelist”, per se; I think Joan’s Amanda “Mandy” Savage character was supposed to have been a romance novelist more in the vein of Joan’s/Amanda’s late fellow Brit Barbara Cartland, & the other writers whose covers had/have the male model Fabio on their covers, for example. The authors who write the “bodice rippers”, as I believe they’re called in the romance novel circles. At least judging by the covers that were created for Amanda’s books & seen in the booksigning scenes, as well as in a pic in the article linked in the next paragraph).

That thought—her playing a romance novelist being based on her sister having been a novelist—actually did cross the mind, though, of the interviewer in the 1 article I read where Joan Collins was asked about having worked on Hawaii Five-0. 

But it’s certainly possible there was meant to be a connection. You’d have to think the ep writers are old enough to know who Jackie Collins was—at least through relatives or friends’ family members who read her books when they were growing up. And if they aren’t, I’m pretty sure Peter Lenkov (the Creator, Showrunner, & oftentimes Writer of the show) is old enough to be familiar with Jackie Collins, as at least the older members of the cast should be as well.

[Just my 2 cents]

2 hours ago, MissLucas said:

Well, I enjoyed Joan Collins diva-ing her way through this episode and ff the other plots. I wonder if her playing an author of romance novels was an homage to her late sister.

I think it was homage to Jackie and Joan herself has some novels.  I'm not sure how successful she is, but I do remember Jackie being so popular they made television movies out of a few of her books.  I'm almost sure I read at least one or two of them.

[MissLucas]

@BW Manilowe Thanks for the link! Her description of the current tv-landscape is great:

Quote

 I’m bored to tears with [hospital-drama] operations and people leaning over a cadaver, and too much shooting and sexual content and bad language.

'People leaning over a cadaver' is such a great way to describe almost every crime-show of the past decade LOL!

[jhlipton]

20 hours ago, GustheCat said:

Maybe if Joan Collins returns they will give her a badge and a gun and she can be involved in a shootout.

It seems likely!  LOL

[fishcakes]

On 3/11/2019 at 5:24 PM, GustheCat said:

My beef with the show this week was the drug injection of Tani...just what was it that the Doctor injected into her shoulder area (a muscle, not a vein)? If you assume the killer chemical, it would not have gotten into her bloodstream as quickly as portrayed and I remember Noelani's explanation that it would take an hour or two for the people injecting it to have a heart attack from it? As you might guess, I didn't write down the name of the "bad" drug, so I can't research it or see if epinephrine is a counter-agent. I would hope the writers did their research on it, though. Also, Adam stabbing the needle into a muscle, same theory, it would not act instantaneously as portrayed. 

There was a news story here about a woman who got a flu shot too high on her arm and ended up having to have surgery because injections into the shoulder cause muscle damage, so I was kind of distracted by that when Tani was dying. Also when Adam gave her the epinephrine in her thigh and she magically came back to life, I was thinking they probably originally wrote it so that he'd stab the syringe into her heart because other than that, it was exactly like the scene in Pulp Fiction, but then figured they were already being irresponsible enough. Then I started wondering where the hell Adam got any First Aid knowledge to begin with. Maybe 5-0 are all EMTs as well as tenth-degree black belts.

I guess I'm the only one but I didn't love Joan Collins as Rachel's mother. She's too old and too glamorous; I can't picture those two as mother and daughter at all.

It always makes me laugh to see AOL eat. The food comes and he just starts shoveling it in.

[Mittengirl]

4 hours ago, fishcakes said:

I guess I'm the only one but I didn't love Joan Collins as Rachel's mother. She's too old and too glamorous; I can't picture those two as mother and daughter at all.

No, you’re not the only one.  I didn’t care for the whole storyline.

All I could think of was the episode where Grace and Danny were at a hotel pool and Danny told Grace not to talk not a boy from her class because Danny didn’t trust the boy’s intentions.  The kids were about 9 years old.  Danny is far too judgmental towards others for me to care about him being judged by his mother-in-law.

 Does anyone think that any boy will ever be good enough for Danny’s little princess?  (I think he puts up with Will because he knows Grover could squash him like a bug if he dissed his kid.)

[BW Manilowe]

On 3/11/2019 at 8:24 PM, GustheCat said:

In terms of no grandchildren time with Joan Collins, I think the actress who plays the daughter lives in California now, and Charlie really has a hard time with delivering lines. I don't think it would have added anything to the show, I have been watching every episode and I do not recall Rachel's mother ever coming up in conversation in terms of a relationship with the grandchildren?

My beef with the show this week was the drug injection of Tani...just what was it that the Doctor injected into her shoulder area (a muscle, not a vein)? If you assume the killer chemical, it would not have gotten into her bloodstream as quickly as portrayed and I remember Noelani's explanation that it would take an hour or two for the people injecting it to have a heart attack from it? As you might guess, I didn't write down the name of the "bad" drug, so I can't research it or see if epinephrine is a counter-agent. I would hope the writers did their research on it, though. Also, Adam stabbing the needle into a muscle, same theory, it would not act instantaneously as portrayed.

I was also a bit disappointed that Danny didn't have a small "human nature" lecture for Joan once she tried to explain herself at the bar. Not in a cruel sense, but just in a life philosophy which I think could have connected them better. They both admire good people and behavior and want to be that way and want their children to be that way, so they should be acting the example.

Finally, we see a purposeful shot (by Lou) to stop a bad guy. Finally. And, I believe the body count this time was only the one 'roid freak, and it was the HPD! For once, HPD takes a beating but doesn't lose anyone. Can't count the first guy and the semi since he took himself out. Maybe if Joan Collins returns they will give her a badge and a gun and she can be involved in a shootout.

Regarding the bolded: This (along with other sources on using an Epi-Pen—basically administering epinephrine) says the ONLY place it’s to be injected is the mid-outer thigh (so a muscular area), & it CAN be administered through clothing. If accidentally given intravenously, it can lead to death. So if Adam administered it that way to Tani, he did it as he was supposed to have done it.

Edited March 16, 2019 by BW Manilowe
To remove redundant wording.

[Magnumfangirl]

18 hours ago, Mittengirl said:

No, you’re not the only one.  I didn’t care for the whole storyline.

Me too.  They wasted Joan Collins just to tell us for the thousandth time how awesome Danny is.  I'm not a Danny hater, but I don't see anything "awesome" about him either.

[lh25]

On 3/9/2019 at 2:59 AM, dwmarch said:

I also loved the short, brutal fight between Junior the and roid-dudes

What I didn't quite get was that they seemed to think he might be a cop, so decided attacking him in the parking garage was a good plan?

[kassygreene]

3 hours ago, lh25 said:

What I didn't quite get was that they seemed to think he might be a cop, so decided attacking him in the parking garage was a good plan?

'Cause they are on roids?

[Orbert]

They thought he might be a cop, but not a former Navy SEAL and current member of Five-O.  They figured the three of them could take a regular cop.  Or as Kassy said, because they were hopped up on 'roids.

[GustheCat]

On ‎3‎/‎16‎/‎2019 at 12:34 AM, BW Manilowe said:

Regarding the bolded: This (along with other sources on using an Epi-Pen—basically administering epinephrine) says the ONLY place it’s to be injected is the mid-outer thigh (so a muscular area), & it CAN be administered through clothing. If accidentally given intravenously, it can lead to death. So if Adam administered it that way to Tani, he did it as he was supposed to have done it. 

As stated, I didn't catch the name of the drug given to Tani, if it was the killer steroid, nor the drug Adam gave. If it was epinephrine, the dosage is .5ml, which is tiny. Seems like he pulled off a healthy slug of the stuff in the bottle. It increases the heart rate and raises blood pressure, seems that was her problem in the first place? But, not here to argue medical points with the show's writers, maybe it was diphenhydramine, a commonly used drug for this purpose among the Yakuza. JK.

[Passepartout]

Again Steve was kind of a as*hole in this episode. As it was on last night in a rerun. And Danny should had given his mother in law or ex, Steve, Rachel or anybody that mistreats him the "Reason You S*ck speech!"