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Masterchef (US)

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Unfortunately, the forum for Masterchef (US) was deleted due to a forum error during re-org processing. This is the new place to discuss Masterchef (US)!

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I was going to binge read all the snark on season 9, because I missed/got tired of watching most of it...

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Masterchef celebrity was on Tuesday but hulu is not going to have it to stream. Anywhere else to watch it?

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I know it doesn't help your situation, but you didn't miss much. 

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I am confused because it was marked as new but I could have sworn this already aired more than  year ago.

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I believe it had a late 2017 initial airing. It was from just after the season that Shane was on. 

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Notes on the amazingly stunningly monumentally first episode of season ten in Masterchef history:

“All facets of deliciousness” - I think that’s the English translation of a tramp stamp Aaron got during his last visit to Phuket.

“There are three people whose lives have been changed by Masterchef.” Some woman who wore spike heels in the kitchen and inspired thousands of snarky comments, Cry Pie, and a dude from central casting who is now trying to reinvent himself as a Real Hoarder of North Las Vegas. Oh, wait . . .

I wish the spectacularly game-changing, monumental, and stunning Battle Pass™ was shaped like a rolling pin that could also be used as a masturbation aid because that would really be a perfect metaphor for everything about this show.

Anytime someone has a sob story or says “me on a plate,” I think Christina Tosi should arrive just offscreen with a giant vaudeville hook and whisk (no pun intended!) the offending contestant straight toward the set of Hell’s Kitchen.

OMG, is this the most competitive year in the stunning history of this monumental competition? Are we going to watch bold and brave heroes beautifully execute passionate plates of brutally honest life-changing apron fantasies? Does Gordon have Three™ Michelin™ Stars™?!?!?!!

The suspense is (illiterally) killing me.

If the guy in the Harvard hoodie is an actual Harvard student, I’m going to need a case of Everclear to make it to episode five. If the woman wearing a shirt with clear sleeves doesn’t appear again, I will need two cases unless the Harvard guy steals and wears that shirt in a forthcoming episode. It would be stunning.

Male genitals, soggy croissant, authentic cuts . . . paging Dr. Freud!

The guy whose mother put on his apron—okay, that also sounds inappropriate—but whatever, I’m rooting for him. So I’m sure he’ll be reduced to an ethnic stereotype, criticized for not making Indian food, criticized for making Indian food, and leaving around the middle of the season, which will presumably be around Labor Day.

Oh good, we also get an Italian stereotype contestant. I haven’t been so relieved since the last time Masterchef Junior wasted 25 pounds of food by pouring it over the entire cast a la Double Dare sliming.

The former Army interrogator seems to be on a regime of medications potent enough to sedate Gordon's most enraged Kitchen Nightmares persona. I find it stunning.

I like anything that finishes with a churro.

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The guy with the genital dessert was amazing. Wish he was staying.

At least  three people tonight declared that "food is SOOOOO important to me." Yeah, it keeps us from dying.

I generally don't watch these first episodes but I was bored and I was dismayed to see ugly hat Shaun from season 7. Isn't he the one who got married on an episode last year? I wonder if he's still married to his wife BOOBS. (That's all I remember about her.)

I have lived in New England for 25 years and that Boston accent grates. That guy can go first. Please.

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Wow, "CryPie"?  That's pretty cold.

She couldn't  see the damn pie.  She cried when Gordon was - - kind to her.   I've seen (a lot!) worse on Master Chef...

I think I'll save my snark for the producers. The helicopter and fireworks were certainly OTT.

Time to relax with a nice calming episode of The Great British Bake Off.

Edited by kirklandia · Reason: So many interruptions...
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The fake drama on this show is way over the top.

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Just chiming in to say that while I'm not going to watch this season, I'll still come here occasionally for the snark. @Aerobicidal I'm looking at you. 😋

And from the comments, it looks like it's more of the same. 

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Why do I not believe the sob story of the kid who said his father was changing the locks and he wouldn't be welcome home?  Why do I not believe that?  At all.

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14 hours ago, kirklandia said:

Wow, "CryPie"?  That's pretty cold.

She couldn't  see the damn pie.  She cried when Gordon was - - kind to her.   I've seen (a lot!) worse on Master Chef...

I think I'll save my snark for the producers. The helicopter and fireworks were certainly OTT.

Time to relax with a nice calming episode of The Great British Bake Off.

Cry Pie isn't Christine. It was a nickname numerous other posters here used for a woman from a few seasons ago. I can't remember her real name but she was heavily tattooed.

I tried to Google it but it's hard to find specifics since all those threads are deleted now.

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54 minutes ago, Aerobicidal said:

Cry Pie isn't Christine.

That's good to know.  By the wording, it sounded like you meant her.  And she did cry over her pie...

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Pretty sure I heard “influenzas from all over Italy,” and “farty five minutes.”

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Cry Pie was named Elise.  She was in Season 5, won by the odious Courtney.  She auditioned with a pie, failed, tried again, got an apron , and Gordon told her to never make a pie again.  Of course, she promptly made pie after pie after pie, crying each time when they were criticized.  Our posters here and on that previous site were merciless in their snark.  Good times!!

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22 minutes ago, susannot said:

Cry Pie was named Elise.  She was in Season 5, won by the odious Courtney.  She auditioned with a pie, failed, tried again, got an apron , and Gordon told her to never make a pie again.  Of course, she promptly made pie after pie after pie, crying each time when they were criticized.  Our posters here and on that previous site were merciless in their snark.  Good times!!

Elise Mayfield

image.png.a02ee1b5e995afb09d4ac95c3c58a761.png

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On 5/30/2019 at 10:05 AM, Aerobicidal said:

Notes on the amazingly stunningly monumentally first episode of season ten in Masterchef history:

“All facets of deliciousness” - I think that’s the English translation of a tramp stamp Aaron got during his last visit to Phuket.

“There are three people whose lives have been changed by Masterchef.” Some woman who wore spike heels in the kitchen and inspired thousands of snarky comments, Cry Pie, and a dude from central casting who is now trying to reinvent himself as a Real Hoarder of North Las Vegas. Oh, wait . . .

I wish the spectacularly game-changing, monumental, and stunning Battle Pass™ was shaped like a rolling pin that could also be used as a masturbation aid because that would really be a perfect metaphor for everything about this show.

Anytime someone has a sob story or says “me on a plate,” I think Christina Tosi should arrive just offscreen with a giant vaudeville hook and whisk (no pun intended!) the offending contestant straight toward the set of Hell’s Kitchen.

OMG, is this the most competitive year in the stunning history of this monumental competition? Are we going to watch bold and brave heroes beautifully execute passionate plates of brutally honest life-changing apron fantasies? Does Gordon have Three™ Michelin™ Stars™?!?!?!!

The suspense is (illiterally) killing me.

If the guy in the Harvard hoodie is an actual Harvard student, I’m going to need a case of Everclear to make it to episode five. If the woman wearing a shirt with clear sleeves doesn’t appear again, I will need two cases unless the Harvard guy steals and wears that shirt in a forthcoming episode. It would be stunning.

Male genitals, soggy croissant, authentic cuts . . . paging Dr. Freud! 

The guy whose mother put on his apron—okay, that also sounds inappropriate—but whatever, I’m rooting for him. So I’m sure he’ll be reduced to an ethnic stereotype, criticized for not making Indian food, criticized for making Indian food, and leaving around the middle of the season, which will presumably be around Labor Day.

Oh good, we also get an Italian stereotype contestant. I haven’t been so relieved since the last time Masterchef Junior wasted 25 pounds of food by pouring it over the entire cast a la Double Dare sliming.

The former Army interrogator seems to be on a regime of medications potent enough to sedate Gordon's most enraged Kitchen Nightmares persona. I find it stunning.

I like anything that finishes with a churro.

Well, I'm glad you're back with your recaps, at any rate! 😂

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Of course the Boston guy got through.  And they are going to keep him around for a while, aren't they?

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42 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

Of course the Boston guy got through.  And they are going to keep him around for a while, aren't they?

Of course, he's an "Eyetalian Paisano" of pompous JoeB.

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I don't think anyone can take the place of Dino, my genuflecting loveable tool ... So far not a favorite in the bunch yet to root for - 

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Only one contestant used the grandma/abuelita/nonna card. Not bad.

The young kid tried to use the “me against the world” card, let’s see if he gets a place.

I don’t think we have the designated bitch or the I-am-better-than-thou guy yet. Those villains usually are allowed to create problems but they are eliminated just before the finals (they don’t sell books).

Edited by El maestro

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If I never hear Joe utter the  word vannoli or have to see that karate chop guy again I'll be one happy viewer! 

I'm rooting for the Cajun/ Indian guy and the kid with the churos, although I immediately thought dude you're on Masterchef and you're making churos? You're a goner.  I'm glad he'll get a second chance since he's from my hometown. 

I think the editing monkeys gave the whole cast with that intro that went on forever! 

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Why do we have to hear sob stories and see auditions? Just start with the top whatever.

Also, please stop with the "I'm Italian!" types. I don't care. You're ubiquitous and uninteresting .

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7 hours ago, mertensia said:

Why do we have to hear sob stories and see auditions? Just start with the top whatever.

Also, please stop with the "I'm Italian!" types. I don't care. You're ubiquitous and uninteresting .

1

Yes, two weeks wasted on personal bullshit.

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On 5/31/2019 at 6:15 AM, DEL901 said:

Of course the Boston guy got through.  And they are going to keep him around for a while, aren't they?

Just in case you missed his schtick.

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35 minutes ago, preeya said:

Just in case you missed his schtick.

thanks i hate it

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I'm an Italian (Sicilian) American.  Why does every Italian/Sicilian American on these cooking competitions have to be a Sopranos or Jersey Shore stereotype?  They are such a small minority of all Italian Americans too.  It's really insulting to the rest of us.  BTW, my Irish American husband didn't understand why I get so annoyed by that.  I once asked him how he would like it if every Irish American on a cooking competition was depicted as a drunk dressed like a leprechaun with a brogue and I think it got through.  He even commented while watching this episode that he was sick and tired of all the stereotypes and fake drama on this show.  I noticed that the Cooking Channel didn't show "Masterchef Canada" this (or was it last already?) year.  I always liked that one better.

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And how many times this season is he going to say "I'm Italian, so I know pasta?" (Or any other vaguely Italian food.) 

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13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

  I noticed that the Cooking Channel didn't show "Masterchef Canada" this (or was it last already?) year.  I always liked that one better.

 

Last week M/C Canada was at Season6/Episode10

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43 minutes ago, Superclam said:

And how many times this season is he going to say "I'm Italian, so I know pasta?" (Or any other vaguely Italian food.) 

This guy is there as this season's comedic/troublemaker. I can foresee a confrontation between him and JoeB before too long.

Edited by preeya

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Double post, sorry!

Edited by rubinia

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On 6/1/2019 at 3:51 PM, Such A Flirt said:

Italian dude and his gang were straight out of The Sopranos.

“Gabagool!”

I thought the carpet mill lady seemed pretty genuine. I just hope her “story” isn’t about how she’s so poor and works in a factory and just wants to better her life. She seems like a great cook, that’s all I care about!!

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When I first started watching this show years ago, I'd wonder how they'd decide who gets to go through to the actual show from the auditions. I would imagine it's tough, early on, for the judges to decide if someone did, or didn't, deserve to be in the top-20 having only tasted a few dishes and not having much to compare it too. How silly would it be should someone cook in an early matchup, have a great, but not better than the person next to them, dish... only to be denied a spot, and have everyone that follows fail to measure up and be sent home prematurely?

Then I realized that they must have some idea of who is going to be a talented chef, and who is cannon fodder, before the judges actually taste their food.

I mean, if the producers are watching audition tapes, then call up a cook to say "we're thinking of having you audition, what's your signature dish?" and he says "I'm going to mix a traditional Indian stew from my homeland into a classic Creole delicacy of my adopted country," and you just know they penciled him in as one of the 20 'contenders' to make the cut. 

Then they just had to find 20 other idiots to round out the rest of the competition to make it good for TV. And they knew they had one of them all set when he answered the signature dish question with: "I'm going to bake a vannoli. It's a vagina cannoli."

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To further your musings about the audition process, I wonder if they hand out all the aprons at the end, after they've tasted everyone's dish. I know it's edited to look like 3-4 people cook at a time and aprons are given out right then but then I started thinking about how if you're in the first few groups your chances of getting an apron are so much higher than when they're down to 3 aprons left and there's still 100 people to go. They'd have to let go some really good cooks because they don't have enough aprons to give out. Anyways.... Just what I was thinking about during this episode. 

Edited by Samwise979
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Did the first episode start with some kind of time warp or was I seeing things?  We saw a courtyard packed with people in bright sunlight looking up at the sky like "it's a bird; it's a plane........" followed by a helicopter arriving and setting down in the dark followed by the judges arriving at the venue and walking through the courtyard in sunlight.  Huh?

I'm glad they went back to judging people individually instead of choosing one from three which never seemed really fair.  I can do without all the draaaama but I didn't hate anybody right off the bat.  I liked the woman who works in a carpet mill because she had some dignity and the Indian guy who cooks Creole although fetching his mother seemed pointless.  

I saw no reason to have the three previous winners there.  They didn't seem to be contributing in any way.  I didn't like Shawn but he must be doing very well if he's now heading up a Ramsay kitchen in a new hotel in Dubai.

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On 6/2/2019 at 1:12 PM, preeya said:

Last week M/C Canada was at Season6/Episode10

Is that airing on Canadian TV right now?  That's probably a later season than I'm talking about.  Usually here in the US the Cooking Channel would show the most recent season several months after it had already aired in Canada.  But that didn't happen last year for some reason.  I know there was a season that happened in 2018 that I never saw because I was seeing posts for it on this board when it aired in Canada.  I remember some of the names of the contestants that were mentioned in the thread but tuned out after a while because I didn't want to know who won.  My DVR is set for it so I'm pretty sure I wouldn't have missed it if it aired on the Cooking Channel later.

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Every time Gordon said, "Never, in the history of the world, have home cooks of such outstandingly superlative quality cooked such superbly divine audition dishes," I wondered, as I always do, if there will one day be a season filled with such phenomenally mediocre chefs that he'll be forced to say, "I guess you're better than nothing.  Here's an apron.  Try not to get it dirty."  

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The JoeB word of the night is:  AMATEURISHLY and

from GR: its season 10 and the most competitive year ever (multiple times)

from Molly: "I quit my job sold my house to be here right now" (you've got to be kidding me, girl)

And guess what folks,  IT'S SEASON TEN, 10, THAT'S T-E-N 10.

Another GR gem: You've got a big second chance to get yourself into the top 20 of the biggest culinary competition anywhere on the planet.

Edited by preeya
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1 minute ago, preeya said:

from Molly: "I quit my job sold my house to be here right now" (you've got to be kidding me, girl)

"And here, I have served you a plate of poison."

What the hell with Joe's gratuitous cheap shot at the guy who made the venison. They already crushed his "dream" and disappointed his mama and then they air a clip of Joe dragging him some more ("This REEKS of ambition") What did he do to Joe?

OMG Charlie. I kind of wanted her to get in so we could watch her mess more stuff up.

Does anyone know what season we're in?

I'm looking forward to seeing how this group shakes out.

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I feel like I have a higher tolerance for sob stories and catch phrases and personalities than some of you all (and higher than I should, because y'all are right), but when someone quits their job and sells their house to get on a reality show, I want them off my TV. I mean, I can see doing that for a career, but there are other ways to pursue a culinary career. 

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Somehow all of tonight's aspiring contestants irritated me more than all of last week's.  I thought the young man who got the final apron was better than the women but I figured Charlie would be chosen just because she was kind of cute and perky.  She had no credibility with me because she showed up to try out for the biggest and bestest cooking competition in the galaxy in ripped jeans.  Tacky and juvenile.  

Every single thing the judges said sounded scripted.  Maybe it was because I had just watched two hours of ANW where comments are spontaneous and the contrast was especially striking.  Or maybe it was because everything they said was scripted.

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Previously: Stuff exploded. Stuff caught on fire. The best of the best earned a coveted second chance to battle pass the most stunning apron up for grabs and a spot in the most stunningly contrived season in the history of all time ever amen.

“I want to see an individual that’s willing to learn, that’s able to impart their will, their personality, and their background onto their dishes on a daily basis.” Thank you, Aaron Jennings Bryant.

I’m convinced Septic Grandma Burger is really the guy from Napoleon Dynamite wearing some padding and some height increasing shoes.

“My lord, everybody’s got a grip.” I would argue that the exact opposite is the case, but I’d rather find out how to get some stunningly septic overalls.

I don’t know what was going on with the supporter guy wearing a pleather fedora with some sort of Masonic cryptic details on the side, a lavender top (???), and leatherette vest. But I want him to host a show about conspiracy theories on Tru TV. I think it would be much more stunning than the iconically emblematically stunningly monumental season 10 of Masterchef.

An eighth grade teacher advising people to “dream hard” . . . Once again, I have nothing to say except Paging Dr. Freud.

“There is a lot of bright moments on this dish.” Wonderfully said, Aaron Barrett Browning.

I like Fred and I also like miso caramel, and I’m glad he got an apron. Hearing him say “Hello hello hello!” makes me want a Drag Race/Masterchef mashup in which Aquaria turns Joe into her drag sister and Silky Nutmeg Ganache auditions for an apron with her namesake dish and fails miserably.

What season is this? How high is the standard? Are the aprons coveted? I’m so confused right now.

“I hope that the nerves doesn’t get the best of them.” Indeed, Aaron Scott Fitzgerald.

I'm thinking Micah was an extra or really minor character in Reality Bites. I find it stunning.

I zoned out during the last 350 minutes when the Battle Pass people were facing off, but go Reality Bites! I may or may not remember him next week, but the fact that someone who has an apron will win this stunning show in nine or thirteen months from now is literally amazing.

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I was so delighted to see the lovely Christine Ha, only to have to fight  back a gastric reflex at the sight of obnoxious  Shaun.  Dubai isn't far enough away to send his sorry butt.

I was glad to see Courtney Deux (Charli) booted during the final apron round.  I couldn't have taken that in-your-face artificial perkiness for another episode.

Edited by spiderpig
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Was the ever,  even on "90 Day Fiance," a better Reality nickname than "Septic Grandma Burger"?!

Kudos to Aerobicidal!

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On 6/5/2019 at 12:17 AM, Yeah No said:

Is that airing on Canadian TV right now? 

Not sure, but there are other sources 😉.

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On 6/5/2019 at 3:17 AM, Yeah No said:

Is that airing on Canadian TV right now?  

Finale is this week.

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12 hours ago, Aerobicidal said:

“There is a lot of bright moments on this dish.” Wonderfully said, Aaron Barrett Browning.

I swear I heard him describe an herb sauce as “herbaceous.” At least he didn’t say “unctuous.” 

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