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S08.E03: Part 2+ Married at Second Sight


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Let's get a couple of things straight - Just because some people post about Luke seeming gay or seeming Jewish or narcissistic doesn't automatically mean that any of them are saying that being gay = bad or being Jewish = narcissistic.  I personally think this is basic reading comprehension and shouldn't have to be explained and clarified over and over again.  If no specific association is made verbally between any of these two things, please don't assume it's in the underlying intention.  The accusation that I would associate being Jewish with being narcissistic is extremely insulting to me as a person that is part Jewish and has Jewish family.  OK, rant over.

Edited by Yeah No
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2 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

I prefer to think he remembers her because she's gorgeous, even though she's not his type. Her hair is fine and her boobs don't seem so huge that she'd be remembered specifically for that. She would have been a great match for his speed dating guests. As an organizer, it would make sense to remember her and reach out to her. 

Sorry, but that's quite a bit of an overstatement.  You may think she's gorgeous; I don't.  Many men are not attracted to the big, bouffant-y hairdo, chubby-looking girls (or to be more PC, non-traditionally-athletic look), and lots of makeup.  And even if she were gorgeous, how could you know if she would be a great match for his speed dating events?  You are effectively reducing all men to stereotypes that personality doesn't matter at all, and it's all about looks, and a particular type of looks at that.

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2 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I think Kate is just lovely and any man would be proud to call her..his!

And I prefer to think that men can't be reduced to one generalization.  Just as I know that all women can't be reduced to one generalization.  (Look no farther than the debate over Jason Momoa!)

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8 minutes ago, Jeanne222 said:

I think Kate is just lovely and any man would be proud to call her..his!

Well, judging by the fact that she needed this show to get a mate and Luke's disinterest (for whatever reason) makes it pretty clear that the "any man" statement doesn't exactly work in her world.

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17 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

Well, judging by the fact that she needed this show to get a mate and Luke's disinterest (for whatever reason) makes it pretty clear that the "any man" statement doesn't exactly work in her world.

It could also be her personality that is a turn off. The way she talks drives me crazy - she sounds high to me. And then throw in the constant giggling. Blech. Maybe the giggles are a nervous reaction to this weird situation, but it would still be a turn off for me.

As far as her looks, I think she is conventionally pretty, but I do think she kind of has a double chin and is pretty top heavy, although that could just have been the horrible wedding dress I’m thinking about....

I think she is at least as pretty as the other three women who were selected; she just had the misfortune of being paired with someone who doesn’t find her attractive.

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Another mismatch is Kristine who needed to be matched with a Dave, a devoted gym rat, rather than Keith who is bungeed to his couch and barely has enough muscles to keep him sitting upright...

Kristine will be driven mad by his slothfulness, his whining about needing to be cooked for and his all around low energy....seriously doubt he knows how to wash dishes....

 Guess who will be doing all the work between the sheets....you can refer to their tub scene....

 Stephanie may be happy to be married to Boisterous AJ but if she is used to dating introverts then it is a mistake to have him tag along work trips...

She may need the alone time to decompress from his continuous AJ Show...

Hopeful AJ will turn down his volume to a 6 instead of having it on 11, wearing down to a nub Stephanie's last nerve and blowing the sound man out of his headphones....

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On 1/8/2019 at 11:23 PM, hoosiermom said:

Could be Luke couldn’t believe Kate didn’t remember him and he is pissed. (I have no doubt he thought that would be impossible since he thinks he is Gods gift to women.) 

 

On 1/9/2019 at 8:35 AM, qtpye said:

My take is that Luke’s delicate ego was bruisedwhen Kate had no memory of him whatsoever.

This is my opinion too.  

 

On 1/9/2019 at 12:54 PM, Ilovepie said:

I see this being something more like Jon and Molly rather than Derek and Heather, where they are together for a while but pull the plug before the end maybe? I wish they would give people an out after the honeymoon (or maybe before: see Tristan and Mia) if it's apparent that it's just not going to work. There are so many couples that could have saved themselves the time and emotional baggage by bailing at that point. If they cared at all about these people, they wouldn't force them to stay together. But what am I saying - of course they don't care about these people (why am I watching this nonsense?!?)

But the whole premise of the show (remember when they constantly called it "the experiment"?) is that since they are married they will work together to get over those things which typically cause people to break up rather than giving the relationship a chance.  Which is why the experts should be flogged for their poor matchmaking - experiments don't work out if you don't do them correctly to begin with.

 

 

 

On 1/10/2019 at 10:38 AM, configdotsys said:

Stephanie comes across as a forced smile type person and as much as she goes on about how much fun she is, I don't see her being able to deal with AJ's constant joking around. 

I LOLd when Stephanie informed him (I paraphrase):  "I'm fun too!  I have an app that lists all the beers I drink!"  Maybe she will enjoy a more boisterous partner and he will enjoy entertaining her.  I am rooting for them at this point :)

 

 

On 1/11/2019 at 3:30 AM, Yeah No said:

I think he will play the game of this show to look like he's determined to make it work, but only for appearance's sake.  I think he's probably under pressure from his family and friends to finally settle down.  I'm sure he's heard it all about how he meets so many women, why hasn't he met "the one" yet?  And he can't possibly look like a failure in that regard so he will defend his sincerity and commitment to the end even if he has zero feelings for Kate.  The secret to success is giving the appearance of success at all times - a favorite line from a favorite movie from 20 years ago.

I get the principle here, but how does acting like a boorish asshat = good PR for oneself?  He should discuss with Boston Ryan and Barf Bag Sean.  And they all should get tips from Basement, who did a pretty good job of fooling everyone until we read the spoilers thread :D

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2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

How is bringing up possible narcissism separately in a separate paragraph in the same post with saying his mother seemed Jewish to me offensive?  I in no way associated the two things in my post.  I think it's offensive to be perpetually associating things that have no relationship to each other in a post just to be offended, and you associated them not me.   I drew no relationship between the two and in that paragraph was just responding to the quote above my post about the possibility of Luke growing up in a strict religious home.  Meanwhile I did draw relationships between Luke's behavior and being narcissistic, not his ethnicity.  And BTW my father is half Jewish and I have Jewish great grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins so why on earth would I ever associate the two in my mind?  I even stated that I'm part Jewish just in case anyone might make any assumptions about my motives.  Please reread my post and the quote above it carefully and don't twist my words.

 

The problem is that it's an antisemitic stereotype to associate Jewish with narcissistic. I'm not saying that you (or anyone else here) were trying to make that association... But it's a stereotype that people can be very sensitive to.

...A false one, of course. I've known many Jewish people who are very loving and giving and are fabulous friends!

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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I know this is pathetic but giving more thought to the Luke situation, I think he hates that Kate totally forgot about him running it and she did not make a good impression at the event. She said her friend dragged her to it for company. I have never been to one but I think at the end all the participants mark off  who  they want to see again. Kate probably was not even trying to be charming because she knew there was a good chance she would be married at first sight and did not want to be there in the first place. Luke might also feel this is the gal no one wanted in his speed dating event, which would be stupid on his part.  He is never going to give Er a chance and she did not deserve this.

I also am curious about the episode where they talk about finances because I have doubts whether this guy has a job as a Civil Engineer.

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On 1/11/2019 at 1:30 PM, Empress1 said:

One thing I thought was really great was when Will's sister told Jasmine, "You're going to have so much fun in this family!" That's exactly what I would want to hear from my in-laws.

Me too.  However, I wouldn't want to see them too much.  I mean, I think my family is "fun" too, but I wouldn't want them to eventually become pains in the ass to my SO.  

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4 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Oh Geeze .. I had no idea she’s had so much trouble holding a baby.  Now I feel like a real shit for snarking on her.  I hope she carries full time her next time.  Heartbreaking.

I don't mind snarking on her; of course not for this, but she's still a fake, annoying, reality TV whore. However, her early life trials & pregnancy losses are very difficult things & I feel for her struggles. She should probably consider not announcing so early, but seems to crave attention for absolutely everything in her life. This may or may not be due to circumstances she has gone through, but it probably fills a need for her.

Again, I am very sorry for her losses though.

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6 hours ago, configdotsys said:

Well, judging by the fact that she needed this show to get a mate and Luke's disinterest (for whatever reason) makes it pretty clear that the "any man" statement doesn't exactly work in her world.

The same can be said about anyone who goes on these shows though. Most people are their own worst enemies when it comes to dating and being unlucky in love. Not because they are necessarily terrible people but because they hold themselves back, try too hard, or find another way to sabotage themselves. In Kate's case the breakdown of her parents marriage seems to have deeply affected her and their marriage was probably in a difficult place for a long time even if no one acknowledged it before the split. 

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I actually forgot about this show so got caught up watching episodes last night.  I didn’t see as many red flags as others with Luke although I did find him nervous and awkward.  The one big red flag for me is the fact that he runs a dating business and must meet a lot of single eligible women so it seems extraordinary that he would consider doing this to get a wife.  I suggested in another post that maybe he is here to promote his business, i just don’t know.  

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11 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

The problem is that it's an antisemitic stereotype to associate Jewish with narcissistic. I'm not saying that you (or anyone else here) were trying to make that association... But it's a stereotype that people can be very sensitive to.

...A false one, of course. I've known many Jewish people who are very loving and giving and are fabulous friends!

I've never heard of that stereotype being associated with Jews, and I grew up in a solidly Jewish neighborhood in NYC and have lived around Jews all my life.  I wonder how I could have missed that given that I'm a pretty aware person.  I ran this by my husband who also grew up in that culture and he said  he's never heard of it either.  We've heard of other offensive stereotypes, just not that one.  Then again I don't make it a priority to collect offensive stereotypes.  I try not to focus on those things and I can't help it if other people read things into what I post that are not there.  

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12 hours ago, princelina said:

I get the principle here, but how does acting like a boorish asshat = good PR for oneself?  He should discuss with Boston Ryan and Barf Bag Sean.  And they all should get tips from Basement, who did a pretty good job of fooling everyone until we read the spoilers thread :D

Haha, that's a good question.  It seems that the boorish asshats never see themselves that way.  They think they look great, meanwhile the rest of the world sees something very different.  You just reminded me of how many of them have been on this show over the years.  You'd think the so-called "experts" would be able to spot them by now, but nooooo.  I'm with those that say the show picks them deliberately for the drama.  If everyone was as normal as Ashley and Anthony we'd all fall asleep after 10 minutes, and they know it.  I just feel sorry for the people that get stuck with them.  I'm trying to think of the female equivalents and thought of Sam and Mia, only "boorish asshat" doesn't really describe them, and I can't think of any one term that would.

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11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I've never heard of that stereotype being associated with Jews, and I grew up in a solidly Jewish neighborhood in NYC and have lived around Jews all my life.  I wonder how I could have missed that given that I'm a pretty aware person.  I ran this by my husband who also grew up in that culture and he said  he's never heard of it either.  We've heard of other offensive stereotypes, just not that one.  Then again I don't make it a priority to collect offensive stereotypes.  I try not to focus on those things and I can't help it if other people read things into what I post that are not there.  

Don't worry about it. I think everyone understands now that you meant no offense.

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10 hours ago, princelina said:

Boorish asshat kind of describes Sam.

True, but she at least had the self awareness to realize and admit to her bad behaviorand try to change.  I think the worst woman award goes to either Season 3 Ashley, Molly or Mia. And yes, I know David turned out to be a pig, but it doesn’t make her behavior any better to me....

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13 hours ago, princelina said:

Boorish asshat kind of describes Sam.  Mia I would call a sweet humble felon.

I can only assume you are joking?  Mia was neither sweet nor humble...she was a wolf of a different type, in sheep's clothing.

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On 1/11/2019 at 2:51 PM, Jack Sampson said:

Philly is huge and Luke's speed dating events probably reach fewer than 2-300 people.  It's more likely that production came to one of Luke's events and recruited everyone - at least gave out cards with the application website.  He might have remembered Kate because of her goofy hair or big boobs.  Kate didn't remember Luke because, other than organizing the event, he's unremarkable.

Kate herself said that even though Philly is technically a big city, it's more like a small town in some aspects, so she was not surprised to find out that she had crossed paths with Luke before. 

I've heard Philly described like that before. From what I've seen and heard of the city (I have friends in the area), it makes sense, especially if Kate was active on the singles scene.

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2 hours ago, discoprincessthe2 said:

Kate herself said that even though Philly is technically a big city, it's more like a small town in some aspects, so she was not surprised to find out that she had crossed paths with Luke before. 

I've heard Philly described like that before. From what I've seen and heard of the city (I have friends in the area), it makes sense, especially if Kate was active on the singles scene.

I grew up in Philly (as did my father's whole side of the family, as far back as I know of) and this is true. It's also pretty racially segregated, which can add to the small town feel of it (Kate and Luke may have seen each other before but I bet $5 Kate and Jasmine have not). I think Will said he lives in Mount Airy, which is famously integrated - it's the neighborhood I grew up in (my dad's family is mostly from northwest Philly - Germantown and Mount Airy). But a lot of Philly is very segregated and you have a lot of people who stick to their neighborhoods. I once met a woman who was maybe 65 and she had spent her entire life in South Philly, and she basically only left to go to work. Someone mentioned a restaurant in another neighborhood to her and she was like "I know of that neighborhood but I don't know how to get there."

I don't find it surprising that Kate and Luke crossed paths before - and as I said, it wouldn't surprise me if we see some "oh, I swiped left on him - shit!" meetings at the altar if this show keeps going. (Wouldn't have surprised me if Amber and Dave had seen each other on an app.)

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19 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Obviously, those of us who never lived in Philly just don't get it. 

I thought Philly was supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love? 

I mean, the country as a whole is pretty segregated. Boston is super segregated. I don't think the Boston couples would have known each other were it not for the show. I got that vibe from the guys in particular (though Jephte and Jon seemed to bond over mutual dislike of Ryan).

Really looking forward to seeing where this cast all lives and works. I've spent almost my whole life living in either Philly or NYC (and half my family is from one, the other half is from the other - urban northeast through and through over here) and you see NYC on TV and in movies all the time. Philly is far less common.

Edited by Empress1
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4 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I grew up in Philly (as did my father's whole side of the family, as far back as I know of) and this is true. It's also pretty racially segregated, which can add to the small town feel of it (Kate and Luke may have seen each other before but I bet $5 Kate and Jasmine have not). I think Will said he lives in Mount Airy, which is famously integrated - it's the neighborhood I grew up in (my dad's family is mostly from northwest Philly - Germantown and Mount Airy). But a lot of Philly is very segregated and you have a lot of people who stick to their neighborhoods. I once met a woman who was maybe 65 and she had spent her entire life in South Philly, and she basically only left to go to work. Someone mentioned a restaurant in another neighborhood to her and she was like "I know of that neighborhood but I don't know how to get there."

I don't find it surprising that Kate and Luke crossed paths before - and as I said, it wouldn't surprise me if we see some "oh, I swiped left on him - shit!" meetings at the altar if this show keeps going. (Wouldn't have surprised me if Amber and Dave had seen each other on an app.)

With Amber showing up as a blonde as opposed to her normal brunette, I thought it was just a matter of time that Dave DID know her from the gym. But I was denied that “oh shit”.

i think Luke had a great chance of knowing a lot of people at least by face just through his business. I think he is disappointed that Kate is, while pretty, generic when he likes exotic - whatever that means - women. And after doing his events he knows what is out there and he got what he didn’t want. I still can’t understand the match after hearing Cal say that they would work IF he found her attractive. Who does that? You don’t hook people up with folks you are HOPING they will find attractive, especially if the hook up is a legally binding marriage.

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4 hours ago, Empress1 said:

 

Really looking forward to seeing where this cast all lives and works. I've spent almost my whole life living in either Philly or NYC (and half my family is from one, the other half is from the other - urban northeast through and through over here) and you see NYC on TV and in movies all the time. Philly is far less common.

So this  is totally o/t but your post got me thinking about a long ago TLC show. Was wracking my brain and had to Google search but pretty sure it was A Dating Story. It ran for a few seasons, from around 1999 or 2000 on. This was when TLCs A Baby Story and A Wedding Story also aired. Well one season it was set in Philly. This native New Yorker has never been. We were coming back from checking out U of Delaware with our son. We took a wrong turn and did not realize it. Suddenly I realized we had gone a different direction and told my husband I thought we were in Philly. Sure enough we were. He asked how I knew and I said the city looked familiar to me from A Dating Story. 😄 This was way back in 2002 or so. Anybody remember that show? It's not listed on Wikipedia.

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11 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

So this  is totally o/t but your post got me thinking about a long ago TLC show. Was wracking my brain and had to Google search but pretty sure it was A Dating Story. It ran for a few seasons, from around 1999 or 2000 on. This was when TLCs A Baby Story and A Wedding Story also aired. Well one season it was set in Philly. This native New Yorker has never been. We were coming back from checking out U of Delaware with our son. We took a wrong turn and did not realize it. Suddenly I realized we had gone a different direction and told my husband I thought we were in Philly. Sure enough we were. He asked how I knew and I said the city looked familiar to me from A Dating Story. 😄 This was way back in 2002 or so. Anybody remember that show? It's not listed on Wikipedia.

I  remember that show. TLC was so much better back then before it brought on all the giant family shows.

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10 hours ago, scruffy73 said:

With Amber showing up as a blonde as opposed to her normal brunette, I thought it was just a matter of time that Dave DID know her from the gym. But I was denied that “oh shit”.

i think Luke had a great chance of knowing a lot of people at least by face just through his business. I think he is disappointed that Kate is, while pretty, generic when he likes exotic - whatever that means - women. And after doing his events he knows what is out there and he got what he didn’t want. I still can’t understand the match after hearing Cal say that they would work IF he found her attractive. Who does that? You don’t hook people up with folks you are HOPING they will find attractive, especially if the hook up is a legally binding marriage.

I was wondering about the timeline when Cal made that comment about Luke finding her attractive. If our suspicions are right about them taping that “argument” for four couples after the season had already started then is it possible Luke and Kate were already married when he said that and he already knew how Luke had reacted to her?

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3 minutes ago, Soup333 said:

I was wondering about the timeline when Cal made that comment about Luke finding her attractive. If our suspicions are right about them taping that “argument” for four couples after the season had already started then is it possible Luke and Kate were already married when he said that and he already knew how Luke had reacted to her?

Oh interesting! I wouldn’t put it past these people to retroactively rewrite the script to cover their asses for idiotic decision making. I think a monkey pointing at random people could do just as well as the “experts”......

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16 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Obviously, those of us who never lived in Philly just don't get it. 

I thought Philly was supposed to be the City of Brotherly Love? 

 

16 hours ago, Empress1 said:

I mean, the country as a whole is pretty segregated. Boston is super segregated. I don't think the Boston couples would have known each other were it not for the show. I got that vibe from the guys in particular (though Jephte and Jon seemed to bond over mutual dislike of Ryan).

Really looking forward to seeing where this cast all lives and works. I've spent almost my whole life living in either Philly or NYC (and half my family is from one, the other half is from the other - urban northeast through and through over here) and you see NYC on TV and in movies all the time. Philly is far less common.

 

Yes, Philly is pretty segregated. Look at the demographics of say, South Philly vs. North Philly for example. Philadelphia magazine ran a controversial story that dealt with this type of issue a few years back.

Then you have those who claim "Philly" but technically live out in the suburbs, whether in Pennsylvania, South Jersey, or even in northern Delaware. (I wonder how many of this year's spouses live in the 'burbs. Side note: I also had read that AJ is a Philly transplant.)

 

On another note, the show Parking Wars featured the PPA (Philadelphia Parking Authority) for a few seasons. That was amusing (although not to those drivers who were ticketed or towed).

Edited by discoprincessthe2
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On 1/10/2019 at 10:38 AM, configdotsys said:

Just finished this second show. I'm watching On Demand so the episodes are broken up or something. I didn't see anything called Unfiltered in the list so I don't know if I'm watching parts out of order but this was just the regular show where the others got married....

I didn’t like Kate from the beginning. She was too giggly for me and used the word “like” every two seconds. It’s just irritating. She totally looks like Lisa Welchel from The Facts of Life. What I think of her, however, in no way excuses the Luke is treating her. 

I thought I got a tinge of gaydar from Luke's mannerisms but not fully. What I thought more likely is that he is one of those guys that if you are not on their personal, internal “I find you attractive” list, they will treat you like shit. I’ve never worn make up in my life. I don’t wear dresses or skirts or heels It’s not me. Never has been, never will be. I’m a very presentable, fully heterosexual woman, and wear nice clothing but am very particular about what I wear. I can’t even count the number of times that I’d go into a pizza shop and get short, curt answers from the guy behind the counter but if a dolled up gal came in, he was falling over himself talking to her. I’ve had the experience of getting on a very early bus carrying a container of coffee and being told by the driver that I shouldn’t bring that on the bus but the dress wearing, made up gals carrying their own containers were greeted with smiley good mornings. This has happened my entire life and I never lost sleep over it but I just know the type. 

I say this because Luke looks like the type of guy that determines in about a nanosecond if you are his type and if you are not, you are completely and totally disposable and he feels no obligation to be polite, civil or anything else. He’s entirely too above you to give you the time of day. But look what he’s done here. He’s gotten himself into a situation in which he feels that way but cannot simply walk away because he’s married. 

He is difficult to figure out. Was he raised in some really religious household or something? I get that he’s not attracted to Kate, but he doesn’t seem, well, sexual at all. I can’t quite explain it but there are some people that you meet that you notice that they never smile in a genuine way or participate in a conversation that shows some sort of depth. Someone said psychopath. I can actually see what that poster means. He’s very weird and strange and that these “experts” didn’t notice any of this stuff and coupled him with someone who did not match his stated preferences, it’s like they wanted a trainwreck. Great for TV, I guess but not for Kate.

On a purely superficial note: I thought Kate's dress was ugly in the extreme. All those buttons that that coffee color back was just awful to look at. 

I may get names wrong with some of the people but I see trouble in the future for Keith and the queen. He's a couch potato and grandma probably cooked his meals and did his laundry. He seems like a nice enough guy and not exactly lazy, but not willing to put much effort into anything. He'd probably rather spend weekends on the couch just chilling and has zero interest in fitness. She will expect him to mold to fit her expecations and accommodate what she wants and if he doesn't, I see lots of bickering. He doesn't seem driven, which I think is fine. There are people who are perfectly content to earn modest wages and live a pretty quiet, homebody, simple life. Queenie is not one of those people and will expect him to change. Hopefully he shows her the door if she demands that.

The Lincoln U couple are boring as can be and I seriously don't remember anything about them except their group picture at the wedding.

Stephanie comes across as a forced smile type person and as much as she goes on about how much fun she is, I don't see her being able to deal with AJ's constant joking around. 

I agree with most of what you are saying.  I’m watching for the third time to absorb everything as I usually do.  Kristene and Keith shouldn’t have to do everything together.  She can do her gym thing alone and he can watch t.v. On the couch like he wants.  They don’t have to have similar interests.  Her bike riding outfit was over the top.  I’ve never seen a tank top so low in the front.  I’m surprised anyone didn’t crash their car passing her by.  It was definitely a “ look at me” top.  Will and Jasmine are dull.  I think Will can be a fun guy but is holding back because of her should he do something wrong.  It appears that he can’t let it all out.  He probably doesn’t think she is fun and doesn’t look too thrilled with her.  Luke and Kate .. I can’t even go there.  He hopped out of bed and quickly ran to the bathroom to throw up after sleeping with her.  His “ holier than thou” demeanor is sickening.  Who does he think he is?  Stephanie laughs at every little thing even if it’s not funny.  She’s probably being the fun, never complaining wife, for now.  She wants a baby ASAP as she is 35 and worried.  She’s making the best of everything.  I would be frank with A.J. And tell him to turn it down a few notches.  He’s exhausting.  That’s it.  Oh .. the experts suck.

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9 minutes ago, Gem 10 said:

Kristene and Keith shouldn’t have to do everything together.  She can do her gym thing alone and he can watch t.v. On the couch like he wants.  They don’t have to have similar interests.

So much this! I hate when fitness people think everyone should be fitness people. Hey I don't force my couch potato views on *you* do i?! I understand wanting a partner to be healthy bc that's the future parent of your child. There are life insurance physicals and things of that nature. I have a friend whose spouse "failed" his physical with flying colors and DGAF. He still goes out to his fast food/ deli joint every day for lunch. So she was frustrated w/  the life insurance stuff. They have a small child etc so it's worrisome.  However, Kristine can look at it like this: when she wants to go work out, Keith stays home with the baby(babies). It's a serious obstacle having that personal time when you have family/house/responsibilities.  Not an "excuse" but just a glitch in life. Someone always has to hold up the fort. I'd love a hike at a moment's notice but until my youngest starts school, not gonna happen. 

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12 hours ago, Kdawg82 said:

So much this! I hate when fitness people think everyone should be fitness people. Hey I don't force my couch potato views on *you* do i?! I understand wanting a partner to be healthy bc that's the future parent of your child. There are life insurance physicals and things of that nature. I have a friend whose spouse "failed" his physical with flying colors and DGAF. He still goes out to his fast food/ deli joint every day for lunch. So she was frustrated w/  the life insurance stuff. They have a small child etc so it's worrisome.  However, Kristine can look at it like this: when she wants to go work out, Keith stays home with the baby(babies). It's a serious obstacle having that personal time when you have family/house/responsibilities.  Not an "excuse" but just a glitch in life. Someone always has to hold up the fort. I'd love a hike at a moment's notice but until my youngest starts school, not gonna happen. 

I think it's because today, individuals attach a value to people based on some factor or another: if you work out, you're good. If you are a couch potato, you are to be made fun of and ridiculed because everyone should want to work out. The queen thinks she has the upper hand here because what person would think being in shape is not a good thing?  If his jones is watching sports and chilling on the weekends, and hers it not, then it's not a match. It's not her place to transform him from his ways to hers regardless of the merits of working out/staying in shape.

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12 hours ago, Kdawg82 said:

So much this! I hate when fitness people think everyone should be fitness people. Hey I don't force my couch potato views on *you* do i?! I understand wanting a partner to be healthy bc that's the future parent of your child. There are life insurance physicals and things of that nature. I have a friend whose spouse "failed" his physical with flying colors and DGAF. He still goes out to his fast food/ deli joint every day for lunch. So she was frustrated w/  the life insurance stuff. They have a small child etc so it's worrisome.  However, Kristine can look at it like this: when she wants to go work out, Keith stays home with the baby(babies). It's a serious obstacle having that personal time when you have family/house/responsibilities.  Not an "excuse" but just a glitch in life. Someone always has to hold up the fort. I'd love a hike at a moment's notice but until my youngest starts school, not gonna happen. 

Yup.  When my 3 kids were young, what saved my sanity was that I played canasta three nights a week at one of their houses for a few hours.  On the weekends, the husband watched his football without any complaint from me.  Then, there was always family time going somewhere or getting together with relatives.  No working out for me.  The kids were my workout enough, lol.  Kristene, newly married has no idea yet of what’s to come.  COMPROMISE.

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5 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I think it's because today, individuals attach a value to people based on some factor or another: if you work out, you're good. If you are a couch potato, you are to be made fun of and ridiculed because everyone should want to work out. The queen thinks she has the upper hand here because what person would think being in shape is not a good thing?  If his jones is watching sports and chilling on the weekends, and hers it not, then it's not a match. It's not her place to transform him from his ways to hers regardless of the merits of working out/staying in shape.

Kristene is young and has no clue about marriage and kids.  Give her a sick kid with fever, up all night worrying and see if she goes to the gym to work out.  Working out will be the last thing on her mind.  A couple of donuts and a cup of coffee will feel like heaven.

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