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I feel so bad for Bobby.  His life must suck living with Tori.  He showed signs before the marriage (that stupid ribbon thing they had to weave for their wedding with Tori showing him how in the most condescending tone "YOU take THIS one, I take THIS one...." and Bobby getting annoyed "I GOT IT") Then after they got married, he was all full of snide remarks about her:  Tori-"I'm such a bad cooker" Bobby "First of all the word is "CHEF" . Ha!!  

But I wonder what it's like for him to walk in the door after work everyday, does he dread coming home to her?  Does her personality completely annoy him?  Would love to know what his real, actual non fundie thoughts are.  All the marrieds walk around in wedded bliss with those perma smiles,  holding hands, etc but there has to be some semblance of a real, normal human inside him thinking this all seemed like a good idea at the time, when all I wanted was to get laid, now her very existence aggravates me.    

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He’s probably wishing now he had heeded his parents misgivings. No sex is worth putting up with that and it’s probably slowed down now the baby is here. Of course, knowing the Bates, she could already have another bun in the oven, putting yet another nail in the coffin. 

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11 hours ago, Sew Sumi said:

Bobby's so whipped. His life is basically over. I hope the sex was worth it.

Doubtful that it is enjoyable. Now I have images of her complaining and whining during sex. 

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I tend to agree that the only reason Bobby is surviving his marriage and his life is because Kelton is around. The difference between Bobby and Kelton right now is stark. Kelton has a smile that reaches his eyes. He seems genuinely thrilled to be with Josie and with his life overall; he posts all these plumbing videos where you can tell he genuinely enjoys his job dealing with frozen pipes, leaky pipes etc. And while he and Josie had to of course pop out a honeymoon baby, they appear to still be trying to keep the romance alive with baby in tow – going on their weekly coffee dates, taking road trips etc. Will that be possible once they’re on kid #2 or #6 – likely not, but at least they’re getting to know each other during their newlywed period.

The difference has to be that Kelton married someone who was suited for him personality-wise AND he didn’t upset his entire life to marry her. Josie has some annoying Bates traits but overall is more like Alyssa – wanting to be a bit distant from her family, not loud/shrill etc., which matches Kelton’s personality. And Kelton is from Knox and stayed in Knox post-marriage since he married a local girl, which means he gets to keep his job, see his family etc. And as much as the Bates tend to do it, Josie hasn’t cut out Kelton’s family. Kelton posts tons of pics of his father visiting his daughter; his father was at the hospital for Willow’s birth (likely not in the room but still supporting Kelton); his grandparents, aunts/uncles were at the gender reveal and he was hanging out with them a lot; I think he and Josie go to church with his side of the family etc. In part that may have been a conscious decision on Kelton’s part – i.e. when I marry, I want a local girl. He went away for college, but maybe he didn’t want to leave his family and esp. his dad permanently.

Bobby OTOH has always seemed like he rushed to marry because Kelton – and likely all their bible college friends – were marrying and prob bc SEX.  In doing so, I don’t think he paid any attention to whether the girl was right for him or not. He’s a calm, collected, witty kind of guy and she’s a loud, obnoxious complainer who just wants the photograph to be complete with a handsome husband + kids, but doesn’t much care about the husband or his feelings. At first it looked like he used to get annoyed – when he called her out on not being able to watch the green beans on the stove while he put steaks on the grill on their honeymoon; when he looked genuinely hurt as she gushed about how Evan singing a little ditty to Carlin telling her to pack her bags for a Rhode Island engagement was the best engagement surprise ever, when no more than 9-12 mos ago Bobby had gone all out for Tori whisking her away from school to the mountains in Ashville for their engagement etc.

Now Bobby just seems like ‘whatever.’ Like when she went on about how 9 mos away in Nashville with her husband caused her to miss EVERYTHING (which would be what – another fundie courtship + grandkid number 900000??), he barely blinked. I literally thinks he thinks – whatever – this woman give me my son and probably a bunch of other kids down the road, she gives me some sex, let’s just go live in Nashville where your annoying sisters and mom can entertain you and at least I can hang with my bff 40 hrs a week and socialize with my brothers in law, all of whom also find your sisters annoying.

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On ‎10‎/‎12‎/‎2019 at 11:23 AM, BitterApple said:

Chad looked pretty miserable in next week's preview. Poor guy needs to learn the value of the word "no."

When Erin told the couple the room would be finished in two weeks, Chad let out a huge sigh.  He said he has sleep deprivation and ulcers. That poor guy!  She is going to work him to death. 

It’s interesting to see Evan with his arm around Carlin. I will never forget that when Ben and Jessa were engaged, Michelle flipped out because they were holding hands while praying. 

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10 hours ago, Adeejay said:

When Erin told the couple the room would be finished in two weeks, Chad let out a huge sigh.  He said he has sleep deprivation and ulcers. That poor guy!  She is going to work him to death. 

Erin needs to take it down a notch. First of all, she is decorating. She's not designing anything. I don't care how many paint samples she has or sharpie drawings she does, she's not a professional designer. From the New School:

"Many people use “interior designer” and “interior decorator” interchangeably, but the two professions are very different.

Interior design is the science of understanding behaviors to help property owners create a functional room within a building, including the shapes of a room’s walls, floors, and more. An interior designer works closely with architects to design the interior space and has a good amount of experience within the construction field. Decoration or decorating, on the other hand, is the furnishing of a space with beautiful or fashionable things while working within its functionality. For example, an interior decorator may recommend changing the layout of the furniture. In other words, decorators do not tend to design, whereas interior designers may design and decorate."

She has her fun hobby of redecorating her little house every week or so. I get it. But she's not designing anything. I have worked with designers for years and they come with a ton of education and experience. I love some good ole HGTV too, but I'm not a designer for it. 

 

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Agree 100% @cereality!  The lack of any postings on social media alone screams volumes.  Where is the obligatory "my hubby is the BEST husband in the world for **insert some random act that really isn't all that special  like buying her a cup of coffee**" .  You would think they would want to show off baby Kade,  but nothing from either one of them.  It's probably too much work for Tori.  Maybe Bobby IS so miserable he can't bring himself to gush about Tori, even for social media.  

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My question is, why did Bobby leave the ministry?  He is working with Kelton learning plumbing.  What happened?  Did Tori push him so much to leave the Nashville area, that he has settled for something he didn't want?  No matter what someone's faith and believes are, if they become so miserable because of their mate, bad things happen.  Tori really needs to grow up and move away from her family.  I think that Bobby's parents did try to warn him but the appeal of sex was way too much.  He picked a mate that is not mature enough to be in a marriage much less a mother.

Kelly really needs to get her own life and STAY OUT of her adult children's lives.  She needs to quit pushing the boyfriends to "put a ring" on the finger.  Kelly, you still have smaller children at home who need your attention.

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I don't recall when Bobby's parents tried to warn him about marriage, can someone give the scoop on what they said/did?  Was it shown on the TV show or relayed by Bobby or Tori later? 

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When they showed Bobby's parents, you could tell by their body language that they were not all that happy with everything.   Bobby came from a normal sized family in Fla.  

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I just watched the latest episode and wow, Erin. You're hanging pictures and arranging knick-knacks. It is NOT your place to set the timeline for the job. That's up to Chad, who's doing all the heavy lifting. He looked like he wanted to cuss her out when she said they'd be done in two weeks. 

Is anyone else completely over Carlin and her dance lessons? We get it. Back, left, forward, right. I don't need ten minutes every week of various Bateseseses doing a box step. 

Watching Katie fly planes depressed me. She could have a great career as a pilot, but no, she'll be married to some Fundie loser and spitting out babies by next year. 

Bobby and Kelton make an adorable couple. Baby Kade is a sweetheart.

Edited by BitterApple
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8 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

Bobby and Kelton make an adorable couple. Baby Kade is a sweetheart.

Bobby does seem happy when he’s with his friend not so much his wife Tori. Thanks for the giggle, even though I am guessing it wasn’t intended.

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23 minutes ago, BitterApple said:

I just watched the latest episode and wow, Erin. You're hanging pictures and arranging knick-knacks. It is NOT your place to set the timeline for the job. That's up to Chad, who's doing all the heavy lifting. He looked like he wanted to cuss her out when she said they'd be done in two weeks. 

Is anyone else completely over Carlin and her dance lessons? We get it. Back, left, forward, right. I don't need ten minutes every week of various Bateseseses doing a box step. 

Watching Katie fly planes depressed me. She could have a great career as a pilot, but no, she'll be married to some Fundie loser and spitting out babies by next year. 

Bobby and Kelton make an adorable couple. Baby Kade is a sweetheart.

I am not the biggest fan of Kelton. He comes off as creepy most of the time. But I will hand it to him that I did laugh at his diaper changing comparison about plumbing and stopping leaks. 

The Katie thing made me cry (almost). They were sitting there talking about how smart, curious, and academically minded she is, but she was stuck studying cosmetology because daddy's got issues. She should be in a chem lab class not mixing hair color. That's not a knock at cosmetology. It's just a fact that most cosmetologists know that is what they want to do early on in life. There are very few people who state for 95% of their child and teen years that they want to study nursing and then go for cosmetology. 

I'm over all the Carlin attention and wedding stuff. According to the previews we get more of her next week with the shower. I might have the timing off, but wasn't that the same time as Alyssa had her heart issue. One would think (if she allowed it) that would be more dramatic and show worthy than Carlin's over the top and breathy thank yous to a bunch of people we don't know. 

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Anyone else laugh at Kelly in the previews claiming she'll do anything for her kids? Sure, except raise then, give them a real education and let them decide what they want to do. Letting them go to a real college, pick out a career they really want, move out and not get married, not have kids or put off having kids and basically everything. 

Calm down Erin and maybe ask your husband how long it'll take to get the project done? Especially since he's working and had to do the bulk of that project too? He put that wall together. Erin just put up a couple pictures. You want it done in two weeks? Then you get off your ass and get it done. You put that wooden wall together. I know he tried to sound like he was joking about ulcers and stuff but it wouldn't surprise me if he did have them. He looks so worn out.  He really needs to speak up.

And so does Bobby. Now he's learning to be a plumber? Why because God forbid Tori doesn't get her way? 

Katie is really academic. So of course it makes complete sense that she's getting a degree in cosmetology. She can't possibly get a non-Daddy approved degree. 

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4 hours ago, iluvobx said:

Kelly really needs to get her own life and STAY OUT of her adult children's lives.  She needs to quit pushing the boyfriends to "put a ring" on the finger.  Kelly, you still have smaller children at home who need your attention.

And why is she taking dance lessons?  She really does love the spotlight.

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1 hour ago, Adeejay said:

I am curious as to why Bobby left the ministry. Did he get fired or did Tori want to return home?

The general consensus is Tori wanted to return home. I imagine Bobby got tired of her whinging and caved.

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4 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I am curious as to why Bobby left the ministry. Did he get fired or did Tori want to return home?

I think Tori wanted to be closer to her family but also i think they realized closer to Knoxville means more time on tv and bigger paycheck. The show won't be on forever so that's not a dumb thing. Still sucks for Bobby who clearly was where he wanted to be headed in terms of career. 

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13 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I am curious as to why Bobby left the ministry. Did he get fired or did Tori want to return home?

He's seems to have switched changing fields to more lucrative field. Her siblings have predicted them as one of the largest families and if so he may need more money than he could make as a pastor. If it's his desire to keep the family growing, then he should be thinking about how best to support them. 

16 hours ago, iluvobx said:

 Kelly really needs to get her own life and STAY OUT of her adult children's lives.  She needs to quit pushing the boyfriends to "put a ring" on the finger.  Kelly, you still have smaller children at home who need your attention.

Amen! 

Edited by Temperance
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16 hours ago, Adeejay said:

I am curious as to why Bobby left the ministry. Did he get fired or did Tori want to return home?

Kelly alluded to it being for financial reasons in one of her blogs when they first moved back to Knoxville. She mentioned that Gil started out wanting to go full time into ministry but figured out that he needed more income so her started the tree business and preached on the side. Seeing as how this family doesn't believe that moms should have careers Bobby figured out pretty quickly that he needed ot make more money.  And the fact that they will get more time on the show so more money from this probably helped seal the deal. And yeah Tori most likey wasn't happy living 2/12 hours away from her family. She couldn't be over at Kelly's house every day.

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Okay, random aside, but have any of you checked out the Instagram page for the sisters' clothing boutique? I looked at it today and it's like one giant maternity shoot. It's great to show the clothes on a variety of body types, but when you've got two and three pregnant ladies in a single picture, it starts to become ridiculous. 

Eta: Oooh, so I just checked out Erin's Insta and someone kindly pointed out that Chad is looking very strained and recommended Erin not push him too far with all these projects. Of course one of her groupies chimed in that Chad wants to do all this stuff for Erin and he's happy about it. Sure, that's why he's aging in dog years. 

Edited by BitterApple
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35 minutes ago, Patricia07 said:

Didn't Chad say he had ulcers?

24 minutes ago, Temperance said:

That may be a joke. 

The way he said it. It sounded like he was joking. But given how much he does. I wouldn't be surprise if he really did have ulcers. He has his construction job however many hours that is and then coming home to work out the long line of projects Erin has ready for him. Just looking at him he looks exhausted. 

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When I was a kid, the minister of my (small) church also worked full time in one of the local factories. He did both jobs and was able to support his family since he didn't make much from the church.  Bobby could have figured out a way to make his youth ministry work, but I think Tori probably just kept on complaining and I even wonder if maybe the other ladies in the church were over her attitude (just my thought).

I feel sorry for Chad, but I also want him to grow a set and tell Erin, stop with the pregnancies, stop with the decorating, tell her:  "I'm TIRED!!!" But he won't do anything, he wants to keep her happy. 

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I think that Chad is 'speaking out' truths under the veil of a small joke and those TTH segments. I believe this is how he really is feeling about the whole overworked thing. Erin is an idiot and either doesn't see or doesn't want to see that she is stressing her husband. That girl lives in Fantasyland and needs to grow up and see the real world her husband is in.

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4 hours ago, floridamom said:

I think that Chad is 'speaking out' truths under the veil of a small joke and those TTH segments. I believe this is how he really is feeling about the whole overworked thing. Erin is an idiot and either doesn't see or doesn't want to see that she is stressing her husband. That girl lives in Fantasyland and needs to grow up and see the real world her husband is in.

That's the vibe I got as well. Chad was being facetious about the ulcers, but the underlying implication that he was exhausted was true. I just look at the two of them and wonder if they have any authenticity in their relationship at all. If you're five years and four kids deep into a marriage and can't say, "Sorry honey, but I don't have time to build three China cabinets for your mother" then what are you doing? 

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Maybe Erin isn't as "sweet" as she pretends to be on the show.  That may be the reason why Chad does it.  Easier to do it than to listen to Erin.  

Chad really does need to tell Erin that she can do whatever she likes in decorating but do not involve him with it.

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1 hour ago, iluvobx said:

Maybe Erin isn't as "sweet" as she pretends to be on the show.  That may be the reason why Chad does it.  Easier to do it than to listen to Erin.  

Chad really does need to tell Erin that she can do whatever she likes in decorating but do not involve him with it.

You may be onto something about Erin.  I remember the episode where Erin, Chad and a bunch of the family redecorated The Bates home while Gil and Kelly were away.  Chad was tasked with hanging something on the wall and was attempting to clarify something from Erin, not sure the exact words but it appeared he kept asking "if you want it to hang this way then you have to do this...." and Erin kept interrupting him by saying "Just hang it" and he kept trying to question her and she finally stared at him right in the eyes and said, VERY firmly "Just hang IT" and he looked defeated and walked away.  I'll never forget the look on her face....

Edited by Summer
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IF Erin is leading Chad around by his balls, the fault is on him. He needs to take back possession of his manhood and live up to their beliefs...that HE is the head of the house and Erin takes direction from HIM. Sorry for Chad, as he seems like a nice guy underneath those horrid beliefs. 

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3 hours ago, Summer said:

You may be onto something about Erin.  I remember the episode where Erin, Chad and a bunch of the family redecorated The Bates home while Gil and Kelly were away.  Chad was tasked with hanging something on the wall and was attempting to clarify something from Erin, not sure the exact words but it appeared he kept asking "if you want it to hang this way then you have to do this...." and Erin kept interrupting him by saying "Just hang it" and he kept trying to question her and she finally stared at him right in the eyes and said, VERY firmly "Just hang IT" and he looked defeated and walked away.  I'll never forget the look on her face....

That could be. She was a brat when the family was featured on 19 Kids and Counting. In one of the early episodes she is whining on camera about there being more Duggar boys and her family not knowing how to do the whole paint ball thing. The producers interviewed her for nearly every Bates sound byte only for her to get very snippy with them. 

She certainly seems to lord her status as the first married over her sisters, including Michaela. I wanted to scream at her many times that her sisters were just as capable of throwing together a wedding. They don't need her advice on everything. As with Nathan (who is insufferable), I'm not sure how many of the siblings actually like spending time with her. She keeps talking about how close she and Michaela were growing up, but we rarely see them together except in scripted moments. 

She treats Chad like dirt half the time. For example, she brought home that dog with the fleas after he had already expressed his reservations about bringing in a dog with a toddler and her in her third trimester. 

On 10/18/2019 at 10:55 AM, Summer said:

I don't recall when Bobby's parents tried to warn him about marriage, can someone give the scoop on what they said/did?  Was it shown on the TV show or relayed by Bobby or Tori later? 

Gil and Kelly Jo are listed with production credits. There is no way they would show the truth about people might feel about their family if it didn't show them in a good light. Bobby's not dumb enough to say in front of anyone that his parents' had reservations. That's just a recipe for awkward family get togethers in the future. 

The speculation began when his parents were on a few episodes, their body language, and some reading between the lines. Bobby's mother doesn't have a good poker face. She seemed especially annoyed with Tori in the episode where he moved to Tennessee and the one where he proposed. Tori kept badgering him about the proposal when they were on their way to the site. You could practically hear his mother's eyes roll back in her head. 

I could be reading it wrong. Maybe they are fine with it all and were just nervous on camera. I know I suffer from RBF with cameras present. 

 

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Erin also volunteers projects for Chad without asking him which she admitted to in the episode where volunteers him to build a freaking stage and crap for Carlin's wedding, and didn't tell him until he was on camera. There's also the makeover of their parents house which @Summer mentioned not only was that exactly how she said it, she didn't even tell him about until after he got off work and came over. She knows exactly what she's doing and she has to know that Chad doesn't always want to do them or she wouldn't keep ambushing him with jobs and when he really can't get out if it. Its not like he's going to say to know either times on camera. Or in the parents' decorating probably not in front of her siblings. Erin seems to know that which is why she picks exactly when to tell him about the projects she volunteered. 

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Finally a Bates' wedding shower where the guests didn't seem awkward and uncomfortable.  I thought Carlin was grateful and gracious. Everyone appeared to be having a good time. 

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It was certainly interesting to see Erin reluctantly admit that she has worn a store bought dress, tucked in the tag, and then returned it. And she took good care of it!  But please don't ever do something like that to their Bates Girls' Boutique!

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6 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Finally a Bates' wedding shower where the guests didn't seem awkward and uncomfortable.  I thought Carlin was grateful and gracious. Everyone appeared to be having a good time. 

I really expected Carlin to be even more over the top and dramatic. I was surprised that she really wasn't.

5 hours ago, Patricia07 said:

It was certainly interesting to see Erin reluctantly admit that she has worn a store bought dress, tucked in the tag, and then returned it. And she took good care of it!  But please don't ever do something like that to their Bates Girls' Boutique!

Yeah, wasn't that amazing? So even though Erin done it too please don't do it to their boutique. I hope it has.

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The look on Chad's face when she told that was priceless.

I expected Carlin to be Carlin but she was very gracious and truthfully, a lot more so spoken than I have ever heard her.  Maybe she is overly dramatic within the family dynamics so she can just get some attention.   The shower was just for them, so she didn't need to try to compete.

It is Kelly that grates on me.  At times I feel like she is trying to compete against her own children.

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Gil's tears about the girls getting married annoy the shit out of me.  This is his 17,000th daughter he's walked down the isle, you'd think he'd be somewhat over it and able to hold it together at this point.  Although the tears could very well be for the cameras...who knows...yet Kelly doesn't even so much as sniffle.....

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14 minutes ago, Summer said:

Gil's tears about the girls getting married annoy the shit out of me.  This is his 17,000th daughter he's walked down the isle, you'd think he'd be somewhat over it and able to hold it together at this point.  Although the tears could very well be for the cameras...who knows...yet Kelly doesn't even so much as sniffle.....

Gil's reaction is not seeming to be that genuine any longer. While they are better at recalling traits of their kids than some other mega families, it's not as though they are identifying anything very deep about their children. It all sounds very generic. "I remember when you were small and running around in your little dresses." Well that describes 10 of the 19 kids. 

Kelly doesn't seem to mind them getting married. Maybe it is because she actually seems to enjoy them more once they are married. I've said it before. She seems very much emotionally stunted and more interested now in being a friend to her grown daughters than a mother to the ones under 18. The way she participates in the wedding planning isn't very mother of the bride, but more like that best friend who you grew up with and will be your maid/matron of honor.

In my circle of people growing up (same southern area and Baptist, etc. community setting), a wedding shower or bridal shower was thrown by the maid or honor or the bridesmaids. It wasn't the mother of the bride or the groom. That was considered tacky, as it indicated you were asking for gifts for family because you couldn't provide yourself. Instead, it was something the friends of the bride did to honor her and get her started on her new life as a married woman. Maybe an aunt or a cousin would throw one, but never an immediate family member.  Then you might have one at work or with your old college friends, etc. I guess the Bates small circle of actual friends outside the family limits that. 

13 hours ago, Adeejay said:

Finally a Bates' wedding shower where the guests didn't seem awkward and uncomfortable.  I thought Carlin was grateful and gracious. Everyone appeared to be having a good time. 

I think it helped that other than the advice segment, they didn't show any of the silly games where the Bates family dominates while everyone else stares (Whitney's baby shower and the diaper changing game, Josie's wedding shower sniffing the tea bags). Maybe others participate off camera, but it always comes off like the Bates are dominating or controlling everything and others are just there to fill seats and give gifts. Half the time these people don't look like they even recognize the bride, groom, parents to be, or anyone.

Carlin was in her element of being the center of attention. She didn't have to compete for it so that made it easier to take for the rest of us. She's always been a gusher on the show with telling people thank you and how much she appreciates them/is proud of them. Many times it sounds very fake. She was able to do it more naturally here. Such a contrast between her reactions and Tori's.  

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Ratings this week:  209 K viewers and a .04 rating.

I need to empty the DVR.  I haven't seen an episode yet this round.

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Good golly, do they ALWAYS have to have a hand on the other's thigh during the talking heads? 

For people with such uptight morals, that seems oddly obscene to me.

Or it's like a mom gently reminding her toddler to sit still and not act up.

Why not hold hands?

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I thought Carlin was very gracious at her shower. She seemed genuinely appreciative and it didn't feel quite as gift-grabby as some of the other Bates' affairs. 

I wonder if Erin and Josie are going to feel pressured to give up their mega-churches to attend Gil's shoebox in the woods. 

I'm also intrigued to see which way the boutique will go. I think it could be successful, but like any group project, not all members pull their weight equally. It seems like all the family members are now involved one way or the other, so how are they dividing labor and profits? 

Edited by BitterApple
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2 hours ago, BitterApple said:

I thought Carlin was very gracious at her shower. She seemed genuinely appreciative and it didn't feel quite as gift-grabby as some of the other Bates' affairs. 

I wonder if Erin and Josie are going to feel pressured to give up their mega-churches to attend Gil's shoebox in the woods. 

I'm also intrigued to see which way the boutique will go. I think it could be successful, but like any group project, not all members pull their weight equally. It seems like all the family members are now involved one way or the other, so how are they dividing labor and profits? 

I really would like to know too. Is it split between Carlin, Erin and Whitney? What do each one do? Is Whitney doing it on the side and still doing Real Estate? Is everyone involved in the business? It sounded like almost everyone is.  Are they all being paid? Is everyone pulling their weigh? I admit I have hard time imagining some pulling their weigh. It has potential.

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With all of these family members involved in their dress boutique business, they most likely each profit $.10cents a dress. How is this worth it? Do they have an occupational license to mail order clothing?

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