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CuriousParker

Flipping Out

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All of this public airing of every detail of the relationship by Jeff. Ack. This is all of the stuff you say in therapy. Not over the airwaves. If I was Gage, I would be very hesitant to try to make things work, because Jeff would be giving a play by play of every attempt/failed attempt. Zero privacy. I couldn't do it.

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23 hours ago, Cupcake04 said:

So now apparantly Jeff is doing a 180 and taking blame for everything.  I would post the article but my ipad hates me at the moment!  I get what he is saying and he seems more self aware than usual, but he always seems insinsere cuz he always has to add something flipping it back on the other person.  I think he may for once be truly scared that he will alienate everyone in his life, especially his daughter, and end up truly alone.  Hope he really means it this time.  Gage was never a favorite of mine, nor Zoila, but life with Jeff must be exhausting!

Is this the article you are referring to?

https://people.com/home/jeff-lewis-spiraling-deep-dark-depression/

IT's a lot of talk from Jeff about his wounded inner child.  How he's not enough and how he must build himself up with positivity.....but, that's just more of the same jargon that makes the focus on yourself.  Jeff can claim that this stems from his own inadequacies, but, he treats himself just fine. It's others that he poops on.  I've liked Jeff for a long time, despite his horrible behavior, but, if you really had to deal with the man.....I can't imagine.  He may be funny on tv, but, in real life......I couldn't take it. I WOULDN'T take it, because it's actually abusive, imo.  If they do accept blame, then they become a martyr.  Those who know people like this, will understand what I'm describing. 

I'm no expert, but, have you ever looked into Narcissistic Personality Disorder?  With Jeff more than a few checks can be made on that. It's not just about being full of yourself, but, a big part of it is putting others down, bullying others, being mean and controlling those around you.   These people do not really care about other's feelings.  They pretend to, if it suits them, but, they have no empathy.  From what I've read it takes a lot of therapy and a real willingness to treat it and even then....no much success.  Good luck Jeff, if that's what you have. 

Edited by SunnyBeBe
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I listened to his show when he talked about his 'wounded inner child' and while he seemed to "get" what the therapist was trying to do - I also was thinking "yea... there's no way he actually sticks to this...he just can't"   So while it sounds all good and well, I think it takes more than 1 therapist session talking to your 'inner child'. 

However it did resinate with me a bit.  I find that I can lash out at friends after building up a lot of tension. And then I feel stupid because it feels very high school-ish. Makes me wonder what age my inner-child is lol 

Edited by gunderda
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16 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I've liked Jeff for a long time, despite his horrible behavior, but, if you really had to deal with the man.....I can't imagine.  He may be funny on tv, but, in real life......I couldn't take it. I WOULDN'T take it, because it's actually abusive, imo

Yep. All this. If indeed he’s trying to get to the root cause(s) of his lonely life (who’s left, now? Meghan — and, anybody else?), I sincerely wish him the very best. I’m his dad's age and have been working to understand my own problems for years. Jeff has time on his side, but unless he’s ready to be very honest with himself, it may not be enough. 

Y’know what...

...I take back the blanket “time on his side” statement. He needs to get his ducks in a row before his relationship with Monroe begins to suffer. She’s getting to the age where she’s not just the cute little sidekick. And acerbic tongue-lashings at an impressionable and independently minded young human are going to go way, way worse than those directed at adults. 

Edited by BckpckFullaNinjas
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Gage can't still be working for Jeff, can he?? Who DOES he have left? Didn't Megan leave too to do her own thing?

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I guess Jenni was wrong when she said that having Monroe really changed Jeff.  In a way, it makes sense, because with this personality disorder that I described, these people often put on a good front. They can snow you really good with praise, kindness and generosity, but, then, BAM! They suddenly reveal their true self, which is cruel and controlling. I feel for Monroe. 

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Just now, Pickles said:

Gage can't still be working for Jeff, can he?? Who DOES he have left? Didn't Megan leave too to do her own thing?

Her design business is reportedly goingvreally well. Does Jeff still have JLD, or is he mainly working for the furniture manufacturer (whose name I can’t begin to recall)? 

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One thing I wonder about with Jeff is who are his friends that are on his level?  People like him seem to surround themselves with people who are beneath them.  They like having people who work for them, who are not as wealthy as they are, those who need them for something, those who are not as smart, not as accomplished, etc.  And when the underlings speak up for themselves, they are crushed or dismissed. 

I was never fond of Gage, but, I do empathize with what he tolerated for years.  Yes, I think Gage was also manipulative, but, he really served hard time for it.  I can only imagine that he and Jeff had some kind of business contract or personal partner agreement that provides him with a severance package or property settlement.  If not, then, he's going to be scrambling.  

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2 hours ago, Pickles said:

Gage can't still be working for Jeff, can he?? Who DOES he have left? Didn't Megan leave too to do her own thing?

I couldn't imagine he is either but Gage is getting money somehow....he rented an apartment in Hollywood that has a rooftop bar! so I bet Jeff is probably still paying him.  Didn't Ryan and Jeff still try and work together for awhile after they broke up? 

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I don;t recall, but, I wonder if Gage is doing this on his own or if he has another person helping him out financially.  He may have saved his pennies from work done for Bravo or something like that.  It's just difficult for me to believe that Jeff didn't have some kind of contract protecting himself from being sued by Gage, if things didn't work out. 

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Gage is not stupid, so he probably had an exit plan going for while before things blew up.

I think when you are in a relationship with someone like Jeff, you pretty much have to become manipulative just to survive. I mean, you can't tell them the truth. Look at what happened to everyone who has tried to tell Jeff the truth, or tried to be vulnerable and let Jeff know he had hurt their feelings, or pointed out his less than kind behavior. 

In the past, I gave Jenni a lot of shit, cuz she was right there beside Jeff as he sliced and diced his way through Zoila, Vanina, numerous other employees, and the two project managers ...then it turned on Jenni. But I was probably too harsh on Jenni, because Jeff is a "go along to get along" kind of person. Megan played it just right. Let Jeff think you are totally down with him right up until the time you are walking out the door.  

PS. I still like Jeff!   

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Which of the Orange County Housewives has Jeff been tight with?  Was it Shannon?  And, which one did he have a blow out with? Kelly?

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1 hour ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Which of the Orange County Housewives has Jeff been tight with?  Was it Shannon?  And, which one did he have a blow out with? Kelly?

Good friends with Shannon, I'm thinking the nastiness was with Heather Dubrow.

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37 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Good friends with Shannon, I'm thinking the nastiness was with Heather Dubrow.

Oh yes, that's right.  I forgot about Heather.  

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13 hours ago, gunderda said:

Didn't Ryan and Jeff still try and work together for awhile after they broke up? 

Ryan and Jeff were only together briefly and never when we saw them on the show so they worked together for years.

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17 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Which of the Orange County Housewives has Jeff been tight with?  Was it Shannon?  And, which one did he have a blow out with? Kelly?

Yep good friends with Shannon.  Friendly enough with a lot of others like Kelly (she called into his show the other day), Tamra and some others I'm trying to think who have been on his show. 

He hates Heather with a passion and dislikes Vicki a lot but other than that I don't think he dislikes any others. 

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25 minutes ago, gunderda said:

Yep good friends with Shannon.  Friendly enough with a lot of others like Kelly (she called into his show the other day), Tamra and some others I'm trying to think who have been on his show. 

He hates Heather with a passion and dislikes Vicki a lot but other than that I don't think he dislikes any others. 

Oh, Brandi from HWOBH.....she threw a drink on him on WWHL.  But, I don't count her really.  Try to forget her in fact.  lol 

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3 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

Oh, Brandi from HWOBH.....she threw a drink on him on WWHL.  But, I don't count her really.  Try to forget her in fact.  lol 

oh yea, i forgot about her... and he did say that he thought they were ok and then she acted like it wasn't so now i guess they're no ok anymore? lol   I kinda love his drama with the housewives. 

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On 2/14/2019 at 12:01 PM, SunnyBeBe said:

One thing I wonder about with Jeff is who are his friends that are on his level?  People like him seem to surround themselves with people who are beneath them.  They like having people who work for them, who are not as wealthy as they are, those who need them for something, those who are not as smart, not as accomplished, etc.  And when the underlings speak up for themselves, they are crushed or dismissed. 

I was never fond of Gage, but, I do empathize with what he tolerated for years.  Yes, I think Gage was also manipulative, but, he really served hard time for it.  I can only imagine that he and Jeff had some kind of business contract or personal partner agreement that provides him with a severance package or property settlement.  If not, then, he's going to be scrambling.  

What about Chaz the hair guy?   He does work for him but I feel like they are friends too?  Chaz is Monroe's godfather.

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2 minutes ago, Kroliosis said:

What about Chaz the hair guy?   He does work for him but I feel like they are friends too?  Chaz is Monroe's godfather.

Interesting point. As a non-expert, these are my thoughts on what I've read and what I've seen IRL with 4 of them that I have known.  

 Narcissists can appear much more amiable to certain people in their lives, especially, if the person is elevated, famous, smart, etc. or thought of as great.  This connection, in their mind, bolsters their belief that they are great too and that greatness is reflected on to them by virtue of that relationship.

Because this great person can only help them, they use it to their advantage and normally do not give the great person a hard time.  They handle them with kid gloves, praise them and stay on good behavior. HOWEVER, if the great person upsets them, they may use any information they have to scandal that person and make them regret hurting them.  Also, they rarely get too close to that great person and keep it a fond, but, not intimate relationship.   Of course, I could be wrong, too.  Time will tell.  I do hope for Monroe's sake that her father will have reasonable and good natured adults in his life.  

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Chaz seems to be the type of person to try and keep good graces with anyone no matter wha.  The guy had a hard time speaking ill of an ex-assistant that swindled thousands and thousands of dollars from him.  

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On 3/22/2019 at 1:08 PM, biakbiak said:

In happier relationship news Trace is dating Antoni from Queer Eye.

Interesting. I really like Antoni. Don't remember much of Trace because Jeff Lewis goes through so many employees but IIRC, Trace was calm, quiet...much like Antoni. Anyway, I wish them well.

I don't like Jeff Lewis. Pretty sure I don't need to back up that opinion with proof. 

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