S07:E02 Brianne's Story

[libgirl2]

9 minutes ago, sempervivum said:

She was half her original weight at the end, and she still looked mountainous. I thought her figure looked very much like her mom's- tall, wider shoulders, slim hips-but I bet her mom didn't weigh more than 150. I hope Bri's skin removal includes her arms and back areas, because that bulky upper torso really detracts from the appearance of slimness.

I'm sure it's been mentioned before (because I'm pretty sure he's been on previous episodes), but Dr? Paradise has to be under 5 feet tall. When he was showing Brianne out at the end of their session, she appeared to be well over a foot taller.

She is a very tall woman and that can make her appear bigger than she actually is. She will never be wispy thin, its just not her body structure. 

[Carolina Girl]

I loved this lady.  I was all set for the "woe is me, I'm really trying I don't know why I'm not losing weight like Dr. Now says I need to" scenario we often get (see Octavia and her enabler friend from last week).  But no.  Rick really stepped up to the plate - and so did Mom I imagine.  Considering that it would appear that the weight was lost when she was in Houston, she really stuck to her guns even without Rick to handle it all.  She didn't make excuses, even when she was stressed due to Rick's hospitalization and she accepted any and all help offered and really seemed to embrace the good therapy would do her.  I have not liked a subject this much since our Chicago Girl Brittani.  

You go Brianne -  I cannot WAIT to see your follow up episode!

[libgirl2]

6 minutes ago, Carolina Girl said:

I loved this lady.  I was all set for the "woe is me, I'm really trying I don't know why I'm not losing weight like Dr. Now says I need to" scenario we often get (see Octavia and her enabler friend from last week).  But no.  Rick really stepped up to the plate - and so did Mom I imagine.  Considering that it would appear that the weight was lost when she was in Houston, she really stuck to her guns even without Rick to handle it all.  She didn't make excuses, even when she was stressed due to Rick's hospitalization and she accepted any and all help offered and really seemed to embrace the good therapy would do her.  I have not liked a subject this much since our Chicago Girl Brittani.  

You go Brianne -  I cannot WAIT to see your follow up episode!

I think you summed it up, she embraced the challenge. 

[Carolina Girl]

Can someone tell me if Dr. Now removed the lymphedema that was below her stomach.  I tend to, well, sort of tune out the surgery segments and as I was going through this in the a.m. trying to get ready for work, I wasn't sure if he went ahead and removed it when he did her bypass surgery.  

And for me, that shot of her striding through the airport with her suitcase behind her said it all.....

[CrazyInAlabama]

I think he only did the bypass, or sleeve.    Because of the hideous amount of blood vessels in the skin surgeries, and lymphedema, and Lipidema, he does those separately.  

[mmecorday]

I've never actually eaten a taquito. Are you supposed to stack them on your plate like Lincoln Logs with a bag of shredded cheese melted on top?

[libgirl2]

41 minutes ago, mmecorday said:

I've never actually eaten a taquito. Are you supposed to stack them on your plate like Lincoln Logs with a bag of shredded cheese melted on top?

Not the times I have eaten them. They aren't bad but they are not good for you. I like the chicken ones as they aren't as greasy as the beef. When my dad was cooking for my mom (who couldn't anymore due to her dementia) he would make those all the time. He had a heart attack a year later. Sure he had a bad heart to start with but those (among the other frozen junk he made) didn't help. 

[cpcathy]

4 hours ago, AVM said:

I found Brianne very unlikable, she waited until she was over 700 lbs before seeking help,and blamed her misery for being  yelled at when she was 13 year old..my dad didnt love  ,i am a victim..  A  bratty 30 year old child ...no thanks I would avoid her too ...God bless Dr Now

My heart may be black, but I thought her nice and sweet demeanor was an act. I understand her emotions over the rape, but the "my dad was mean to me" is baloney after a certain time period. Let the asshole go. I only say this as someone who has done the same thing with my own father. Choose your own mental health over your father's assholery.

[Kenzie]

2 hours ago, sempervivum said:

She was half her original weight at the end, and she still looked mountainous. I thought her figure looked very much like her mom's- tall, wider shoulders, slim hips-but I bet her mom didn't weigh more than 150. I hope Bri's skin removal includes her arms and back areas, because that bulky upper torso really detracts from the appearance of slimness.

I'm sure it's been mentioned before (because I'm pretty sure he's been on previous episodes), but Dr? Paradise has to be under 5 feet tall. When he was showing Brianne out at the end of their session, she appeared to be well over a foot taller.

I'm guessing about 4'-11" for Dr. Paradise.

This is awful of me but when they were standing next to each other it made me think of those fun house rooms at amusement parks where what looks like a level floor is actually a steep grade and mirrors make people look extra short or extra tall.

Edited January 10, 2019 by Kenzie

[Starlight925]

2 hours ago, sempervivum said:

I'm sure it's been mentioned before (because I'm pretty sure he's been on previous episodes), but Dr? Paradise has to be under 5 feet tall. When he was showing Brianne out at the end of their session, she appeared to be well over a foot taller.

Yes, Dr. Paradise is under 5' tall.  I used to go to him.  I'm 5'3", and he's shorter than I am.  He's terrific.  Coincidentally, I also used to go to one of the other therapists who appears on this show as well!  They are wonderful therapists.  I can personally vouch for Dr. Now's choice in using them.

It was so funny seeing the therapists when I first started watching the show last year, as I had been to two of them!  I was like.....wait....are they driving up to Dr. Paradise's office?  Oh yes they are!

I also had surgery a few years ago at St. Joseph's (not weight loss type surgery).  I had a great experience there.

I loved Brianne's story.  Girlfriend didn't use any excuses.  She tried talking to her mom, and instead of eating over it, she joined a softball team.  Fist bump.  I know some thought her fist bumps were annoying; I found them endearing.

Edited January 10, 2019 by Sterling

[CrazyInAlabama]

I was very glad to see the information on her before it aired, so I knew the husband would be OK.    

I think the father was just as bad as Brianne said, because the mother didn't dispute what she said, she tried to explain it away as stress from their job on both parents, and that you couldn't let that out at work.   Lousy excuse, and the mother certainly didn't say anything on camera about the Dad wishing he could be in Houston or anything else.     I bet the mother was just fine with Brianne being the scapegoat, because that way she was never the focus of her husband's anger.     I bet on a follow up, and I hope there will be one, Mommy will be nowhere to be found, or will show up, and then suddenly have to leave for an 'emergency'.    

Around here some nursing homes have beds for post surgical patients, and maybe there's something like that available that Dr. Now could get information for the patients who have no one to help them, or who have relatives who can't help them because of their own medical or physical conditions.   

I'm wishing there was a place people could go to for recuperation, like a motel, with personal care assistants, and that way people like Dottie, or Brianne could recuperate without having to find someone to help them that really isn't all that interested in being there, or needs to go home for work, the way Dottie's husband did.      Because of that Dottie wasn't going to have more skin surgeries, that she really needs.    And Brianne's mother is her reluctant choice for any future procedures, and she definitely didn't want to be there, and I bet it's less than 50/50 that she comes to help if she has to be on camera again.   

Edited January 11, 2019 by CrazyInAlabama

[Scarlett45]

@CrazyInAlabama I agree with you, the Mom knew the Dad was a bully and was willing to let him take it out on Brianna for whatever reason. It could be Brianna was the family scapegoat, or she was his nonbio kid he agreed to raise (this is likely) and Mom was glad for a husband (or financially dependent on him) so she let him do what he wanted. 

There are parents that let their SO abuse, rape, and even murder their children without sticking up or trying to stop them; so I am not going to disbelieve that a Mother would let a Dad be “mean”. I’m not excusing the abuser (in any instance) they are the horrible person who hurt a child, but a parent or caregiver has an affirmative duty to protect their child from physical and emotional harm.

If Brianna’s Mom was interested in mending their relationship, a statement of “you know it wasn’t right the way you were treated as a kid. I failed to stand up for you as a should have (for whatever reason). I’m sorry you went through that but I want to be close to you now, I love you despite my mistakes in the past. Are you willing to be close moving forward?” Brianna would’ve jumped for joy!

[QuinnInND]

4 hours ago, mmecorday said:

I've never actually eaten a taquito. Are you supposed to stack them on your plate like Lincoln Logs with a bag of shredded cheese melted on top?

Nope. When we've ordered them at Mexican restaurants and made them at home, we dip them in sour cream and or guacamole. They're so good. Terrible for you, but delicious once in a while. 

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

    I think the father was just as bad as Brianne said, because the mother didn't dispute what she said, she tried to explain it away as stress from their job on both parents, and that you couldn't let that out at work.   Lousy excuse, and the mother certainly didn't say anything on camera about the Dad 

 

47 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

@CrazyInAlabama I agree with you, the Mom knew the Dad was a bully and was willing to let him take it out on Brianna for whatever reason. It could be Brianna was the family scapegoat

Agree with you both.  What she was describing in her family dynamic smacked of being an ACON (Adult Child of a Narcissist).  There is always a Golden Child (or children), and always a Scapegoat.  Narcissists triangulate, always needing that third point on the triangle.  They "need" for one person, or point, of the triangle, to feel bad, jealous, envious, of the other point(s), so they elevate the golden child while pushing down the scapegoat.

Sure, all of this sounds like whining, like why me, I'll just eat an enormous burrito.  But as is typical in families with one Narcissist parent, there is one parent who sits by and does basically nothing, thereby allowing the abuse.  And yes, it is abuse.  It's emotional abuse, and it's highly damaging.

I am not a therapist, nor am I diagnosing anyone.  But as soon as her mother shut down like that, it all made sense to me.

Yes, her mother was probably blindsided by that conversation, in front of cameras.  She had 2-3 months afterwards to talk in private to Brianna, and that never happened.  She, too, is a victim of her husband's narcissistic personality, so she likely does not have the tools to understand this.

I do wish that that conversation had taken place in the therapist's office, with the therapist's guidance.

10 minutes ago, QuinnInND said:

Nope. When we've ordered them at Mexican restaurants and made them at home, we dip them in sour cream and or guacamole. They're so good. Terrible for you, but delicious once in a while. 

Taquitos are da bomb.  I was having taquito/cheese covered plate envy, as I've never thought to do that.  Just what I need....a new way to eat taquitos.

[pdlinda]

5 hours ago, libgirl2 said:

She is a very tall woman and that can make her appear bigger than she actually is. She will never be wispy thin, its just not her body structure. 

 I thought skin removal surgery in the thigh area where she seemed to have large masses of fat would assist her in walking and exercising. 

Also, as an "aside", if she would could run a comb/brush through her mangled hair it might really enhance her appearance.  It looked like she had been a bleached blonde at one point and was growing it out (doubt it was that new "ombre" look) so maybe a haircut would be in order??  Perhaps, in the follow-up, she gets some desire to create a neater appearance than she had in the show.  That would probably help if she ever wished to find employment.

Edited January 10, 2019 by pdlinda

[MutualCore]

That guy pushing Brianne's wheelchair at the airport looks like he'll be needing his own in a few years... God fuck, how many obese fuckers are there anyways in 'Murica?

[Hannah94]

5 minutes ago, MutualCore said:

That guy pushing Brianne's wheelchair at the airport looks like he'll be needing his own in a few years... God fuck, how many obese fuckers are there anyways in 'Murica?

70% of Americans are overweight and 40% of Americans are considered obese.

Edited January 10, 2019 by Hannah94
clarification on wording

[fonfereksglen]

30 minutes ago, Sterling said:

 

Agree with you both.  What she was describing in her family dynamic smacked of being an ACON (Adult Child of a Narcissist).  There is always a Golden Child (or children), and always a Scapegoat.  Narcissists triangulate, always needing that third point on the triangle.  They "need" for one person, or point, of the triangle, to feel bad, jealous, envious, of the other point(s), so they elevate the golden child while pushing down the scapegoat.

Sure, all of this sounds like whining, like why me, I'll just eat an enormous burrito.  But as is typical in families with one Narcissist parent, there is one parent who sits by and does basically nothing, thereby allowing the abuse.  And yes, it is abuse.  It's emotional abuse, and it's highly damaging.

I am not a therapist, nor am I diagnosing anyone.  But as soon as her mother shut down like that, it all made sense to me.

Yes, her mother was probably blindsided by that conversation, in front of cameras.  She had 2-3 months afterwards to talk in private to Brianna, and that never happened.  She, too, is a victim of her husband's narcissistic personality, so she likely does not have the tools to understand this.

I do wish that that conversation had taken place in the therapist's office, with the therapist's guidance.

Taquitos are da bomb.  I was having taquito/cheese covered plate envy, as I've never thought to do that.  Just what I need....a new way to eat taquitos.

ACON is an interesting phrase.  However, all reasonably healthy children of a narcissistic parent, even the isolated golden child, finally realize that nothing they do will ever be good enough for that parent.  When they figure that out, there is some peace and often they wonder why the other parent was so weak or even worse, enabled the relentless abuse.  Something you touched on.  And then there is often alienation from both parents.  One reason why some elderly parents rarely see their senior citizen aged children. Enough is enough with that cycle.

Anyway, since this episode, I have been consumed with an enormous urge for Culver's chicken tenders!

[Carolina Girl]

53 minutes ago, Sterling said:

Taquitos are da bomb.  I was having taquito/cheese covered plate envy, as I've never thought to do that.  Just what I need....a new way to eat taquitos.

Waiting for next week when we all announce this will be our eating habit for the show.  

[calpurnia99]

Im confused about the rape, when did it happen? She seemed to already be 500 pounds before college and that was because she didn't get along with her father. And her parents had 2 more children- some nerve! She had the same sad tone of all the participants: then this happened, then that horrible thing happened, so then I ate more, and then that other horrible thing happened, so I turned to food" but the things that "happened" were her parents went to work and had 2 more kids. IT didn't sound like she had a traumatic childhood, no more than anyone else. Her story was not making me feel sorry for her. When she went to the shrink, she mentioned her father seemed to not like her when she was a teenager, they didn't get along. She didn't mention the rape. By the time she was a teenager, she was already 450 pounds.. I didnt get along with my parents and I thought my parents hated me also during my teenage years and my dad worked all the time, he had 2 jobs.

And she lost even more than Dr. Now asked her 2 in the first 2 munts, which shows if these people stick to the plan they will lose what Dr.Now said and then some.

This guy on the following show who is also 700 pounds was asked to lose 60 pounds in 2 munts and he says "I don't see how unless I only drink water and eat nothing and run every day" lol all her has to do is eat 4000 calories a day and he will lose that amount. 

[TVWatcher12]

Did anyone else want to vomit at the sight of her husband wiping her?🤮 I mean come on. And here we go again with the woe is me story. I have had some very horrific stuff happen to me in my life but I don’t use that as an excuse. Own your bad behaviors as a grown person. Sorry but I have zero sympathy and patience for “victims” who bemoan their lives. I fast forward over the backgrounds because it’s just the same story week after week!

[KateHearts]

10 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

20 hours ago, DC Gal in VA said:

 

At the end of the show, she still weighed almost 500 pounds! She'd lost well over 200, but she had a long way to go, for sure.

I think she'd lost about 200 since surgery, but had lost maybe 150 before. Her last weigh-in she was under 400lbs, and I was thinking, wow- she's lost almost half of her original body weight.

I was very happy about this episode. I actually smiled at some of the interactions with her family (especially her husband's ear-to-ear grin and her daughter's excitement when she surprised them in Oregon.)

Overall: She is positive! She's articulate! She wears clothes and gets out of bed every day! The house is neat! The family is loving and intelligent! She is well-groomed! She doesn't make excuses or cry or moan and groan everytime she has to walk/move/get up! She jokes around! She is considerate of others!

The only weird thing was the mother. What is the disconnect that she can't cry with her daughter about the cold, awful dad?  And saying "I'm sorry you felt that way" is not an apology.  How about "I'm sorry I let you down and I won't ever again"?

[KateHearts]

On 12/30/2018 at 9:11 PM, TVbitch said:

also thought the ass wiping scene was a new low. Totally unconscionable. I mean, for fucks sake, this is a woman who had been gang raped in her past. Why does the show think we need to see that? Can we please allow these people some boundaries and privacy regarding their own bodies!

Hey, I am sure that if a participant in this show doesn't want us to see her husband wiping her poopy behind, "the show" wouldn't force it.  These people willingly allow themselves to be videotaped, and no production company would insist that was mandatory.

I forgot to mention above that one of the nicest things about this episode was her relationship with Dr. Now. He obviously was delighted to have an engaging patient without the normal cubic ton of personal baggage who was willing to work hard.  The fist-bumping was very cute. As was her very candid confession to her "last supper."

[KateHearts]

9 hours ago, AVM said:

I found Brianne very unlikable, she waited until she was over 700 lbs before seeking help,and blamed her misery for being  yelled at when she was 13 year old..my dad didnt love  ,i am a victim..  A  bratty 30 year old child ...no thanks I would avoid her too ...God bless Dr Now

Wow... I'm a little stunned by this. First of all, if you found *her* unlikable, I wonder if you happened to watch show participants such as Steven Assanti.  Now that is unlikable. Secondly, she was not only ignored and treated poorly by her father, but her mother was complicit AND she was raped in her teens.  So, no...not a "bratty 30 year old child." She was an adult who recognized her problem, realized it was a burden on her family and that she wanted to be an active rather than dependent family member, and did something about it without complaining or making excuses.

[fonfereksglen]

1 hour ago, TVWatcher12 said:

Did anyone else want to vomit at the sight of her husband wiping her?🤮 I mean come on. And here we go again with the woe is me story. I have had some very horrific stuff happen to me in my life but I don’t use that as an excuse. Own your bad behaviors as a grown person. Sorry but I have zero sympathy and patience for “victims” who bemoan their lives. I fast forward over the backgrounds because it’s just the same story week after week!

Responding to your first question.  No.  My husband and I as caregivers to a family member we barely knew when our role began, have done much worse.  And we were thrust into that role because there was no one else.  It is important to show how difficult is to be a caregiver.

[ams1001]

21 hours ago, 88Keys said:

I'm watching it now...their house is NICE!  So refreshing to see, compared to the squalid apartments and trailers a lot of them seem to inhabit. 

Two weeks in a row with nice, clean homes. How long can it last?

[Scarlett45]

6 minutes ago, fonfereksglen said:

Responding to your first question.  No.  My husband and I as caregivers to a family member we barely knew when our role began, have done much worse.  And we were thrust into that role because there was no one else.  It is important to show how difficult is to be a caregiver.

Yes- some people have had to be caregivers their entire lives. Having to assist someone with daily care needs (bathing, dressing, toileting) doesn’t phase me in the least- my sister will be 31 tomorrow and I’ve had to attend to those tasks for the last 20yrs. I’ve heard it suggested in other episodes that teaching children (age appropriate) caregiving skills is child abuse or sexually inappropriate. There’s nothing sexual about helping grandma/grandpa bathe or dress. How do you think people lived before commercial nursing homes etc? (Not you specifically it was a rhetorical question)

 When someone in your home needs care (no matter how they came to be in need of care, either since birth, an accident or an illness) you step up and care for them. You don’t let your loved one lie in their own filth no matter what they did to compromise their health (like over eat or smoke cigarettes), they are still a human being. That’s separate from enabling them by bringing them unhealthy food or drugs.

 

I do think it was good to show a husband be a caregiver, an enabler as well as a partner. So often the enablers are nasty people and the patient exists in a co-dependent relationship, while there are issues that needed to be worked through, Brianna’s husband did love her and want her to get better. 

[ams1001]

7 hours ago, Kenzie said:

I'm guessing about 4'-11" for Dr. Paradise.

I googled him last night and one of the auto-completes was 'matthew paradise height'...but I didn't actually find an answer.

[Starlight925]

12 minutes ago, ams1001 said:

I googled him last night and one of the auto-completes was 'matthew paradise height'...but I didn't actually find an answer.

As I said in my earlier post, I saw him as a therapist before I ever saw him on the show.  I'm 5'3", and he's shorter than I am.  I'd guess 4'11" or 5' at the most.  Great guy, terrific therapist.  One of those people you're comfortable with from the first minute you meet him.

Edited January 11, 2019 by Sterling

[ams1001]

1 minute ago, Sterling said:

As I said in my earlier post, I saw him as a therapist before I ever saw him on the show.  I'm 5'3", and he's shorter than I am.  I'd guess 4'11" or 5' at the most.  Great guy, terrific therapist.  One of those people you're comfortable with from the first minute you meet him.

He seems like he would be. Too bad I don't live in TX.

[iwasish]

I wondered if the father was not her bio father. She mentioned he was in the service till she was about 5, and when he was back home regularly he and the mom had 2 more kids back to back. Could it be the mom was married before or a single mom, got married and the new hubby,never really bonded with her? Then, for  some reason they never told her she wasn’t his child, or another scenario could be that daddy for some reason (real or imagined) suspected she wasn’t his child and resented her. 

[TwirlyGirly]

12 hours ago, dahling said:

<snip> [T]he scene where she confronted mom in the restaurant is bugging me.  First of all, if the day had already been going as terribly as she narrated, then she should have changed her plan to have "the talk" over lunch. Maybe she felt she couldn't, because the camera crew was there?  But imagine you're her mother (which I can, because she is my generation) and your daughter, with a camera pointed at your face, says, "Let's talk about how you were a terrible mother.  Go."  The mother was unprepared and ambushed. The proper setting for this would have been therapy.  Additionally, the mother isn't responsible for what the father does, so it's hard to see how anyone thought this could be effective without the father being present. The mother was putting a lot of time and energy into helping her daughter get better, participating in the filming, and then BAM "you suck".  I might have walked out, too.  <snip>

 

Thank you so much for posting this, @dahling!

6 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

@CrazyInAlabama I agree with you, the Mom knew the Dad was a bully and was willing to let him take it out on Brianna for whatever reason. It could be Brianna was the family scapegoat, or she was his nonbio kid he agreed to raise (this is likely) and Mom was glad for a husband (or financially dependent on him) so she let him do what he wanted. 

There are parents that let their SO abuse, rape, and even murder their children without sticking up or trying to stop them; so I am not going to disbelieve that a Mother would let a Dad be “mean”. I’m not excusing the abuser (in any instance) they are the horrible person who hurt a child, but a parent or caregiver has an affirmative duty to protect their child from physical and emotional harm.

If Brianna’s Mom was interested in mending their relationship, a statement of “you know it wasn’t right the way you were treated as a kid. I failed to stand up for you as a should have (for whatever reason). I’m sorry you went through that but I want to be close to you now, I love you despite my mistakes in the past. Are you willing to be close moving forward?” Brianna would’ve jumped for joy.

But what exactly could the mother have done (speaking of how the father treated Brianne while she was growing up)?

During the restaurant scene, the mother said she had talked to her husband about his treatment of Brianne. Obviously it had no effect because he continued berate her. But the mother didn't have any way to control him and force him to stop, did she?

She had two younger children as well, and apparently the father treated them okay. Should her next step, after speaking to him and seeing it had no effect, been to leave him, taking all three children with her - even though he was a good father to the two younger children?

Perhaps it would have been good for Brianne's mother to get herself and Brianne into therapy. But that could have happened only if the mother understood how much of a negative effect her husband's words and actions had on Brianne. Did Brianne ever try to tell her? We don't know. But if Brianne's reaction to of all that was being morose and gaining weight, she may have just assumed the cause was no more than just "teenage stuff", and something Brianne would grow out of as she got older.  

I'm also keeping in mind we're only hearing one side of the story: Brianne's. It would be good to hear her father's side, too.

I agree the mother could have used better phrasing with some of the things she told Brianne. OTOH, she was ambushed, and I can imagine it probably is difficult to think clearly in that type of situation, especially when there's a camera in your face.

Edited January 11, 2019 by TwirlyGirly

[Ivylady]

19 minutes ago, TwirlyGirly said:

She had two younger children as well, and apparently the father treated them okay. Should her next step, after speaking to him and seeing it had no effect, been to leave him, taking all three children with her - even though he was a good father to the two younger children?

Yes, that's exactly what she should have done. Having the husband mistreat one child and not the other two is toxic for everyone, not just the mistreated child. In essence, her mother sacrificed her happiness and well-being for her younger siblings. I don't blame Brianne for being upset. 

[MakingBacon]

If you are treating one child as garbage, you are in no way treating the others well, no matter how it appears. You are teaching the other children to be bullies and how to degrade others. I would bet money on the other kids knowing if they treated Brianne like garbage, they were rewarded or praised by their father. Notice Brianne never mentioned having any type of relationship with her siblings. If you allow one child to be abused because your spouse is good to the other children, you are a bad parent to all your children. The mom didn’t stay with him because he was good to the other children, she stayed for her own selfish means. brianne’s mom’s failure to do whatever was necessary to protect Brianne makes her just as bad as the dad. I am happy she finally has a loving family who builds her up instead of tears her down. 

[Hannah94]

2 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I'm also keeping in mind we're only hearing one side of the story: Brianne's. It would be good to hear her father's side, too.

I agree. And most pounders have a lot of their family members on the show, even if it is just for an interview or to provide information on the history of eating habits of the pounder. I wonder why her siblings were not on the episode at all, nor did she discuss them as adults. I did like how the show ended; she was alone in a new town and joined a baseball team!

[readheaded]

8 hours ago, Sterling said:

As I said in my earlier post, I saw him as a therapist before I ever saw him on the show.  I'm 5'3", and he's shorter than I am.  I'd guess 4'11" or 5' at the most.  Great guy, terrific therapist.  One of those people you're comfortable with from the first minute you meet him.

Is he transgender?

[Scarlett45]

10 hours ago, Ivylady said:

Yes, that's exactly what she should have done. Having the husband mistreat one child and not the other two is toxic for everyone, not just the mistreated child. In essence, her mother sacrificed her happiness and well-being for her younger siblings. I don't blame Brianne for being upset. 

Very much this- thank you. It’s piss poor parenting and very cowardly to say “well you’re nice to two of the minor children, go ahead and treat the other one like an emotional punching bag- just make sure you don’t break any laws in the process. Nothing I can do to stop you!”

People have mistreated their children for a variety of reasons (in a manner that doesn’t reach criminal neglect or abuse)- because they were the wrong skin tone or race, because they had a disability, because they were the “wrong” sex/gender than the parent wanted (not speaking of trans kids just straight up sexism, of course that counts too). I didn’t see a grown Brianna doing anything but wanting her Mom to acknowledge her feelings and her pain through that experience. She was her mother, not the neighborhood postal worker. 

Now that Brianna knows her Mom cannot or will not give her the emotional support she needs, she needs to let her mom go. That may be total estrangement as with the asshole dad, OR a very emotionally distant relationship. I very much believe in honoring your father and mother, and your duties to them once you are an adult IF they were proper parents to you. They had an affirmative duty to the child first. But not everyone with a working reproductive system can be a good parent, once someone is an adult they have to look out for their emotional well being first. 

Brianna is late in this game, but she is only 30- if she sticks to the plan she can have a bright future. 

[readheaded]

I'm just watching the rest of the show and it strikes me that Brianne is more self-aware than many of the people on the show and definitely seems to be paying more attention to what Dr. Now says.  She seems to be able to translate what he says into action.  I'm so happy for her and I love that she's playing softball and pushing herself past her comfort zone.  I also love how encouraging the other softball players were.  

The other thing that's different to me about her than many on the show is that she seems to have other interests than food and is curious about the world.  Unlike many of the others, by the end of the show, she wasn't still so focused on food and what she's missing by not being able to eat like she once did.

Edited January 11, 2019 by readheaded

[dahling]

I'm deeply uncomfortable with the judgment that a mother should have taken her 3 kids and left her husband, based only on precious few statements from Brianne, who as much as I liked, I do not view as a reliable narrator. We don't know 99.9% of the real story, and I feel like the narrative that's being crafted here is so far from reality that it's practically science fiction. All I know is that the ambush in the restaurant was bullshit. 

[shannew]

Just wanted to jump on here and ask Hey y'all doing?  :)

[Hannah94]

20 minutes ago, dahling said:

I'm deeply uncomfortable with the judgment that a mother should have taken her 3 kids and left her husband, based only on precious few statements from Brianne, who as much as I liked, I do not view as a reliable narrator. We don't know 99.9% of the real story, and I feel like the narrative that's being crafted here is so far from reality that it's practically science fiction. All I know is that the ambush in the restaurant was bullshit. 

100% I agree with you

[Starlight925]

On 1/11/2019 at 5:58 AM, readheaded said:

Is he transgender?

No he is not.  He's been married and has children.  

I started seeing him for individual sessions (paid for, of course), and I found him to be just as warm and insightful as he appears on the show.  Moreso, if that's possible. 

He's simply not a tall guy.  You meet him once, and you completely forget it, because it's just a part of who he is, not his whole person, if that makes sense.  There's so much more to him than his height.

Edited January 14, 2019 by Sterling

[Elizzikra]

Quote

Am I the only one who reads the panels in Dr. Now’s voice?  For example,  Screen: Month 5 In my head: Munt 5. LOL

I certainly will now...

[Hellga]

10 hours ago, TwirlyGirly said:

I agree the mother could have used better phrasing with some of the things she told Brianne. OTOH, she was ambushed, and I can imagine it probably is difficult to think clearly in that type of situation, especially when there's a camera in your face.

 

But ambushes allow you to see the real person and not some rehearsed version.  And I did not like what I saw.  Honestly, I think an indignant "How dare you?" from the mother would have been a better initial reaction than the nonchalant "oh yeah, whatever" for their future relationship.  

Edited January 11, 2019 by Hellga

[readheaded]

57 minutes ago, Sterling said:

No he is not.  He's been married and has children.  

OK I'll come clean as to how I found him in the first place:  I was going through a heartbreaking breakup, and I found a free Divorce support group, run by him.  Although I wasn't technically getting divorced, he and the group welcomed me with open arms.  Turns out, the reason he ran it for free is that he, himself was going through a heartbreaking and difficult divorce, and he wanted to have a group with whom he could be open and talk, so he offered free group therapy, but he shared his own struggles as well.

I started seeing him for individual sessions (paid for, of course), and I found him to be just as warm and insightful as he appears on the show.  Moreso, if that's possible. 

He's simply not a tall guy.  You meet him once, and you completely forget it, because it's just a part of who he is, not his whole person, if that makes sense.  There's so much more to him than his height.

He seems like a great guy and I, personally, wouldn't care at all that he isn't tall; and like you said, sometimes, a person's physical stature is well-surpassed by their personality.  I just thought if he was trans that might explain it.   Some people are definitely born to do that work and he seems to be one of them.  I'm glad he was helpful to you and I hope he can continue to help Brianne.  

[libgirl2]

Brianne sent out an update on FB. She has reconciled with her parents and says everything is going good. Her own page has several postings of low-carb recipes and food products. She must be sticking to her diet. 

[IvySpice]

Well, this episode was a shocker. I did not see Brienne's turnaround coming! I think this is the most weight we have ever seen a female patient lose in the first year. She turned into a superstar! Good for her. Why didn't they make this the season premiere?

Quote

I am sure that if a participant in this show doesn't want us to see her husband wiping her poopy behind, "the show" wouldn't force it. 

I am not sure of that at all. The show is providing tens of thousands of dollars worth of medical care in exchange for shooting the footage they want. There's no way that all of these poundticipants want strangers to film them showering, lotioning between the folds, etc. But we see exactly the same process every episode. If you want to be on the show, you don't get to pick and choose what's too private.

[essexjan]

I really enjoyed this episode.  This is, I think, the only participant I've really liked. It's so unusual to see someone do everything that's needed of them, without question and without excuse-filled backsliding. And to see her playing softball at the end of the episode - I actually cheered! As others have said, the ass-wiping scene was too much. But she, Rick and Katrina were a loving family.  They had a lovely home and seem like good people.

I don't know how much of the scene with the mother was TLC frauding (as if!), but I do understand that dynamic. My own mother left my in harm's way from an abusive father, and my addiction to dull the pain was alcohol (from the age of 14). When I got sober at the age of 39 I had to deal with those issues. But as my parents both died in the early 1980s, I only had to deal with my own issues around it, not theirs. It was, frankly, a relief after they both died that I'd never have to deal with them again.

Anyway, all power to Brianne. I think Dr Now was totally over the fist-bumps after the first time she did it though.

[sempervivum]

2 hours ago, Sterling said:

He's simply not a tall guy.  You meet him once, and you completely forget it, because it's just a part of who he is, not his whole person, if that makes sense.  There's so much more to him than his height.

That's nice. It just seems like an odd choice for the showrunners to choose a teeny therapist to deal with a massively overweight (and in this case, very tall) patient in a situation where a camera will be showing the startling size discrepancy to millions of viewers. Seems a bit mean, honestly. 

OTOH, maybe she feels comfortable with someone basically the same size as her husband?

[Starlight925]

1 hour ago, sempervivum said:

That's nice. It just seems like an odd choice for the showrunners to choose a teeny therapist to deal with a massively overweight (and in this case, very tall) patient in a situation where a camera will be showing the startling size discrepancy to millions of viewers. Seems a bit mean, honestly. 

OTOH, maybe she feels comfortable with someone basically the same size as her husband?

I honestly wish people would stop focusing on his size.  He's simply a smaller statured size.  Sorry, I get a bit defensive about him, as he's a great therapist.

How is it "mean" to offer someone who is trained specifically for this?

And it's not the "show runners" who choose the therapists.  Dr. Now selects them.

He obviously is highly trained and skilled to work with these patients, and he obviously helped Brianna in this case, by steering her in the direction of resolving her issues with her mother, which apparently has helped.

I promise you, once you're sitting on the couch across from him, he might as well be 6' tall.

There is another therapist on this show that I've also coincidentally been to.  She's also terrific, and she happens to be thin.  Is it "mean" to have a thin person work with them?  Or should the therapists themselves be 600 lbs.?

OK I'm getting feisty now. :)

Edited January 11, 2019 by Sterling