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S06.E11: Where Truth Lies

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1 minute ago, Spike said:

Well he agreed with everything John said, so why not let John do the dirty work?

Which is what we’ve come to expect from a coward like Coltee.

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I think it’s difficult to judge the John/Larissa fight because we’ve only seen small clips of what happened. Nobody knows what else was said and done behind the scenes to escalate things. Personally, if both my spouse and a relative were behaving badly, I might not join in either because I would be so annoyed that they were acting like children. 😂

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4 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I can't totally hate on Jay because he's 20.  I don't know many 20 year old's who want to settle down, especially not in this age of social media, where there seems to be an endless supply of people to hook up with.  I think Ashley thought that she, Ashley could keep this man faithful.  It's one of those,  "My love can change him."  or "Once he sees this, he'll never stray."  Uh huh, tell me another one, Ashley.

Jay knew he wasn't ready.  I don't feel bad for him because he was clearing working a con on Ashley the whole time.  I didn't think he was in it for the green card, but apparently he was.

But I agree that Ashley showed a terrible lack of judgement.  I'm Ashley's age and have a child.  I would not entertain marrying a 20 year old for one minute.  It's absurd.  I am at a completely different stage in my life than someone that age.

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4 hours ago, lezlers said:

I look up and to the right.

It's actually a real psychological thing.  When you're searching your memory, or being honest, you look up and to the right.  If you're creating a new story, or lying, you look left.  We covered it in my Psych class back in the day.  You don't do it 100% if the time of course, but it is an actual thing.

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On 12/24/2018 at 11:28 AM, lucy711 said:

Yup.  I think it's easy to put on weight in the USA but I'm sure she will soon figure out where to go for healthier food.  Incidentally, I think I'd gain weight if I moved to any foreign country because I'd want to try all of the foods that I wasn't used to eating!  Even when I was in Britain I gorged on the scones and biscuits!

If I was Kalani's mother or father, I'd slowly start cutting financial ties.  Kalani is capable of working.  Asuelu can do something once he gets his legal paperwork.  All parents watching this show should take note of this story and realize that Kalani's attitude is what happens when you don't raise your children to be independent and self-reliant.

It was much less fun watching for me last night because I didn't participate in the live chat.  But I was multi-tasking and baking/wrapping at the same time.  Happy Holidays to everyone!

It's easy to gain weight when coming to America. I came here over 21 years ago to be an au-pair for a year on J1 visa which is students exchange program to improve your language. I was taking care of baby that didn't talk and barely speaking any English because the parents were gone all day and I was spending my weekends with other au-pairs from former Czechoslovakia and speaking slovak. Otherwise I was pretty much confined to a house the whole week because even though I had international driver's license I was not able to drive car until I passed Maryland's test and pretty much get a new license. The food in here was very different from what we eat in Slovakia. Back there you get meals cooked from scratch and fresh whether at home or in cafeteria at work. No microwaveable food, no fast food or cookies that say 0 fat but are loaded with other shit so they end up being even worse. (We only just got first MacDonald in my town and first Pizza hut. I ate my first MacDonald food when I was 18 after they open borders to Austria few weeks after the Velvet revolution. It was so disappointing and didn't look like anything on the pictures.) And everything tastes odd. Not like at home. No real loaf of bread but the brick bread that tastes like cardboard. You keep eating because the stuff you eat doesn't satisfy your taste buds like the stuff you used to eat at home. Trying to cook is not the same either because again the ingredients are different even though they are called the same. Even chocolate is crap. You didn't even had nutella back then except in specialty German stores. No kefir, good yogurts, assortment of cheese spreads and charcuterie. I just could never be satisfied. Add to it boredom and being in the house for days without going anywhere which is very similar situation the fiancees have. I think I did pretty well being away from my family that first year (that was before internet, my family at home didn't even have a computer so 99% of communication was by letters as phone calls were horribly expensive) but the food was the one thing that I missed all the time. I couldn't wait to go home and have my mom and grandma cook all my favorite food. I did get to go home after the 13 months but only for couple weeks. What happened was that the previous fall all the other Czechoslovakian au-pairs decided to send applications for diversity lottery and since it didn't cost anything but couple photographs I did too not taking it seriously. (I never even dreamt about coming to America because back during communism it was pretty much impossible. The whole life growing up you hear America is bad and even if you wanted to visit you will never ever go there so it didn't even crossed my mind growing up. You didn't miss what you didn't have becouse that's just the way things were and we got our basic needs met.) And then I won! So 3 months before I was gonna go home I started to look into getting different visa that would allow me to stay until I would get my green card which was gonna take about a year. By then I was dating my current husband and I didn't want to leave him. Fortunately Washinton DC area has many foreigners working for World bank or International monetary fund and they are allowed to bring foreign domestic employees on G5 visa. I found myself one family and stayed on the G5 visa until I got my green card. It was 20th century slavery but that was the only option to stay here legally. You probably heard about these kind of jobs where the employer takes their passport, pays them pittance while they work around the clock and sleep on the floor. It was something similar except I kept my passport and I had nice room. But I was working from 6 a.m. to 11 p.m. Monday to Friday and even though I was able to have weekends off they wanted me to come in on Saturday just to make their beds and fill dishwasher!!! Four months in they realized I was too ''worldly'' for them because I had a life separate from just serving them and was spending the weekends with my boyfriend so they found another woman from poor country in Asia and I went to work for different family. At least they let me stay on their G5 visa until my green card process was complete. Anyway I got too off topic but I wanted to mention there are some other options to stay here legally but people take advantage of you especially if you don't have anyone here. Me and my boyfriend were together only for 5 months at the point when I was supposed to go back home to Slovakia and we never even considered trying the K1 visa. I knew him better and spend more time with him then all these people on the show with their Americans but didn't think I wanted to marry. I never wanted him to think that I married him just so I could stay in USA. We only got married 3 years ago at which point we were together for a month short of 18 years. And I never ever threw in his face when we were fighting that I left my whole family and friends and everything to be with him like at some point every one of these fiancees does. It was my choice to start my life completely over at 27 in totally different country with totally different culture and lifestyle then growing up, barely speaking the language, coming here only with a suitcase filled with my CD's LOL. I still can't believe I actually did that because when I think about it now it seems crazy. Being young and bold and adventurous and stupid all at the same time. (I only came here because I needed a break as I was kind of sick of all the political situation  6-7 years after revolution when everything was turning to shit again - the politicians just trying to fill their pockets and populism and people believing all the lies the parties were feeding them. Plus I lost my job and my marriage ended after a couple years so just wanted to go somewhere else for a while. I applied for USA or Australia which was my first choice but the Australian cut off age to apply was 27 and USA was 26 and since I was already 25 I wanted to have more chances just in case I wouldn't get placed in time for USA). I definitely know how these people feel even without all the additional stress of marriage thrown into it. I think Fernanda is very mature for her age, of course she has some weak points when she gets overwhelmed with being away from her family and all alone without anyone to talk to. She is very articulate in explaining her feelings and how she reacts most of the time to what is thrown at her. I wish I was that mature and wise at that age. She has the best chance to have successful marriage because her ability to compromise and choose her battles, she things about her and Jonathan as a team. Leida is total opposite, she only thinks of herself and her needs and doesn't care about hurting anyone's feelings as long as she gets what she wants at the end. She only steps back and capitulate becouse she doesn't want to go back to Indonesia, not because she things she is wrong. She just doesn't give a shit about anyone, the least her fiancee and his kids. I can't believe Eric doesn't point the hypocrisy of the child support situation to her. If she would get pregnant and had another kid with Eric and then divorce him she would not only requested and fight him to death for the highest sum possible but also want a spousal support for herself! She is just a scum. Her and Eric are a match made in heaven! I hope the producers won't push his daughters to attend the wedding to stepmother from hell.

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4 hours ago, Spike said:

Colt should have asked John to leave if he couldn’t control himself.  But I don’t believe it’s fair for a couple to double team someone if the argument is not about them.  Provide the partner moral support after the fact.  But no bullying by strength of numbers.

Oh yeah, I wasn't expecting Colt to argue against John or anything, just shut it down.  Anyone would be kicked out of my house if they came at someone that way, period.  He's the host, it's his home, it's his responsibility to make sure EVERYONE feels safe and comfortable. 

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5 hours ago, aliya said:
Quote

In the PA, consummation only applies to whether the Commonwealth considers the marriage valid or not (Mr. Funky's Aunt married a man who was in prison.  PA DOC doesn't have conjugal visits.  He died before he was released, so the Commonwealth of PA never considered their marriage "valid".  They had a marriage certificate and everything else, but never did the deed, so she wasn't entitled to anything of his in terms of his military benefits, etc).

I practiced law in PA and don't recall this at all (not that I recall everything...).  What happens to people who are physically incapable of consummation? Would the state deny benefits to the wife of a vet, for example, who could not consummate the marriage? I would think the disability rights folks would be all over this.

Plus it would seem to me that unless the marriage was void from the get-go (and that doesn't appear to be the case under Pennsylvania law), then it would have to be one of the parties to the marriage to bring an action to have a voidable marriage voided, not the State/Commonwealth. 

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6 hours ago, RoadFullOfPromise said:

I kind of just realized that I look up when I’m searching for words or thoughts - haha. I think it’s just because it cuts down on visual noise (since most ceilings are blank). But now I’m gonna be all self-conscious about it. ;)

I'll bet you don't look like Asuelu when you're doing it.

And I'll bet you don't keep looking up for the entire time that you are speaking.

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1 hour ago, RealReality10 said:

What is she supposed to be grateful to him for?  A plane ticket?  Lying to her about how much financial freedom she would have when she got here?  He told her he lived with his mother, but he also told her that she could buy a bunch of stuff. 

I think if anyone got bamboozled in the Colt/Larissa relationship it's Larissa.  I think he went to Brazil, met Larissa and told her whatever he needed to tell her to get to drop every other man she was probably stringing along.

I think he knew she wanted a green card and be taken care of and she knew he wanted to get a woman far prettier than he could normally date, who he could have sex with.

So far he has not kept up his end of the bargain at all. 

I don't fault her at all for doing what it takes to get her green card and get the hell out of there.  She can do much, much better.

He never said she could buy what she wanted, he gave her a budget and said to get something they all liked. He’s always been clear that there was a limit as to what she spends. 

Should she be grateful? Yes, she doesn’t owe him her life or anything but he put out the cash for a K1 visa and apparently none of the other fish she had on the string had done that so far.  Maybe she did get bamboozled, but she’s got 90 days to make a decision to stay or not. He’s got the same options. Let’s be honest here, they’re throwing the word “love” around, but love has nothing to do with their relationship. It’s a business transaction at the least, a pleasant friendship that could lead to something more, at most. Each has to decide what compromises they’re willing to make.

Both are free to call it quits and go back to searching for someone more compatible.

Tons of men and women meet and marry without any help from internet dating sites. And I’m sure many of them feel as if they were mislead or lied to about lots of things including finances, past relationships etc. They have to make the same choice, stay or go.  It’s no different situation, except for the 90 days. 

As far as the John incident goes, John was out of line, yes. And yes In most cases you would expect a person to defend and or put a stop to that type situation. But Colt isn’t that type of person. The whole point of the 90 days is to see if these couples can forge a life together, are their personalities and expectations of a relationship compatible. If Colt is not the type to jump to his partner’s  defense, then Larissa needs to decide if that is something she can deal with. There are many things she doesn’t get from Colt that she believes she deserves. He’s made it pretty clear he is the way he is and doesn’t seem inclined to change. Screaming and yelling at him isnt getting anything accomplished. So she needs to make a decision, if the goal is the green card, suck it up and hang on till she has it, then adios Colt. Or lower her  expectations, go with the flow and perhaps over the waiting period for the green card, things might improve enough that Colt will find himself doing the things that he would not do when pressed, but will now do because he wants to. 

Or of course just end it now. 

Edited by iwasish
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2 hours ago, Kangatush said:

It's actually a real psychological thing.  When you're searching your memory, or being honest, you look up and to the right.  If you're creating a new story, or lying, you look left.  We covered it in my Psych class back in the day.  You don't do it 100% if the time of course, but it is an actual thing.

Yes. Same Psych class, but I believe it's reverse. Lying eyes look up and to the right, and retelling or recalling, the eyes search the left. 

I actually find it hard to see Asuelu as a liar. He seems so truthful. Kalani's family needs to leave them alone and allow them to be a family. What's done is done, and it's not like Kalani is a teen mom. 

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I think Asuelo is the exact type of Samoan guy Kalani’s dad is talking about. If I were him I would be very bummed out that my idiot daughter let this dullard impregnate her twice.

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On 12/26/2018 at 11:31 AM, essexjan said:

Am I the only person who caught either Kalani or Kolini referring to Asuelo as 'it' at one point?

Okay, so I went back and re-watched. It was Kolini who said (at about the 45-minute mark in the show) "At this point I would like my sister not to feel like she has to marry him because from what I saw at brunch I wouldn't want her to marry that". (my emphasis added).

I think that family will do everything they can to drive Asuelo out, and then blame him for abandoning Kalani.

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4 hours ago, Mr. Minor said:

If I were him I would be very bummed out that my idiot daughter let this dullard impregnate her twice.

Because Kalani had no say in the matter?   She pretty much likes the sex.   Somehow the twit has not equated sex with pregnancy.   I would be upset that my 30 year old daughter was such an idiot about where babies come from.    If she is pregnant again, it is AT LEAST 50% her fault.

 

Ashley is not getting an annulment.   An annulment is fraud that would have prevented the marriage from going forward, not anything he did afterwards.   So what if he had no intention of keeping his marriage vows, Ashley knew darn well that was the case and went ahead anyway.   No fraud there.   She knew she was marrying a scorpion (thank you so much whoever made the analogy, it's perfect).   Annulments are for things like not telling your new spouse you were already married to someone else or not telling your spouse about an STD.    Also divorce MUCH easier and faster than annulment.

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On ‎12‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 7:17 PM, Drogo said:

Eric faces his distraught daughters; Steven surprises Olga; Kalani's big news upsets her sister; Fernanda writes Jonathan a shocking letter; Ashley and Jay run away to Vegas; Larissa reconnects with Colt's mom.

Bit late to the party this week but first off, when I saw this, I thought it read, "Kalani's big news upsets her hair" and it sorta made sense for a moment.

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Temper Tantrum Steven and Sad Sack Olga are starting to look like the happiest couple of this season. 

 

On ‎12‎/‎25‎/‎2018 at 1:14 PM, FlowerofCarnage said:

 The eldest looks like a real life Peppermint Patty. 

Don't forget Tasha:

Eric-Leida-Gross-Apartment-90-Day-Fiancegiphy.gif

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13 hours ago, iwasish said:

Maybe he didn’t because somewhere deep inside, or not so deep inside,  the things John was saying are things that Colt himself is thinking. He has even said some of them to Larissa, such as being more concerned over things that Colt hasn’t done or given her, instead of being grateful for what he has done.  She is not some naive 19 yr old, she’s 30+, with  at least two failed relationships and two kids she has had to relinquish custody of. And here she is jumping into a relationship where she is once again relying on a man to take care of her. She’s been the victim, she alleges, of someone who ripped her off and left her in thousands of dollars of debt, someone who professed to love her, and yet she’s resentful that Colt is cautious about giving her free access to his credit cards. The first words out of her mouth and all the ride home from the airport and thru her first day at his house, it was all complaints. Who does that?  She didn’t smile until she thought she was about to get her mitts on Colts credit card and buy her new couch. Gimme, get me, buy me, that’s pretty much all that has come from her mouth since she arrived.  

No one is holding her hostage, Colt was more than prepared to buy her a ticket home. And once she realized he was serious about it, her whole demeanor changed.  I think Larissa came here thinking she could get her way with him by being sexually available. IMO Colt is taking full advantage, but not so overcome by her talents that he’s going to give her access to his assets. Look at Eric and Leida, Eric’s “last chance at love” is driving him to ruin his relationship with his kids and probably send him into debt with her relentless nagging that he prove she’s his number one priority. 

Even assuming all of this is true (which it probably is) Colt is free to send her home.   It's like when someone is in an unhappy marriage and cheats.  It doesn't matter how awful their spouse is, if they're unhappy they need to leave, not cheat.  Larissa's bad behavior doesn't excuse Cole allowing his family to verbally attack her and doing nothing to defend her.  Also?  Colt knows what he was doing when he started "dating" Larissa.  He was buying a woman he'd have no chance in hell of getting here in the States.  He's a dorky guy who lives with his mom and dresses up his cats who has likely never had a serious relationship in his life who has the body of an overweight middle aged woman.   He knew the score when he brought her over here.  Let's not be naïve. 

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17 hours ago, funky-rat said:

I don't know, but there was a news story done on them when he passed, and the reporter stated it as fact.  I would think he would have done his homework first.  Neither was disabled.  But their marriage was never consummated because no conjugal visits are allowed for prisoners.

I don't trust reporters to get anything right.  Maybe the rules are different for prisoners. 

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12 hours ago, iwasish said:

He never said she could buy what she wanted, he gave her a budget and said to get something they all liked. He’s always been clear that there was a limit as to what she spends. 

Should she be grateful? Yes, she doesn’t owe him her life or anything but he put out the cash for a K1 visa and apparently none of the other fish she had on the string had done that so far.  Maybe she did get bamboozled, but she’s got 90 days to make a decision to stay or not. He’s got the same options. Let’s be honest here, they’re throwing the word “love” around, but love has nothing to do with their relationship. It’s a business transaction at the least, a pleasant friendship that could lead to something more, at most. Each has to decide what compromises they’re willing to make.

Both are free to call it quits and go back to searching for someone more compatible.

Tons of men and women meet and marry without any help from internet dating sites. And I’m sure many of them feel as if they were mislead or lied to about lots of things including finances, past relationships etc. They have to make the same choice, stay or go.  It’s no different situation, except for the 90 days. 

As far as the John incident goes, John was out of line, yes. And yes In most cases you would expect a person to defend and or put a stop to that type situation. But Colt isn’t that type of person. The whole point of the 90 days is to see if these couples can forge a life together, are their personalities and expectations of a relationship compatible. If Colt is not the type to jump to his partner’s  defense, then Larissa needs to decide if that is something she can deal with. There are many things she doesn’t get from Colt that she believes she deserves. He’s made it pretty clear he is the way he is and doesn’t seem inclined to change. Screaming and yelling at him isnt getting anything accomplished. So she needs to make a decision, if the goal is the green card, suck it up and hang on till she has it, then adios Colt. Or lower her  expectations, go with the flow and perhaps over the waiting period for the green card, things might improve enough that Colt will find himself doing the things that he would not do when pressed, but will now do because he wants to. 

Or of course just end it now. 

This is the point we've been arguing here.   I don't think anyone would disagree with the rest of your post.  I'd go a step further, however, and say NO person should be okay with their partner acting the way Cole did in that situation.  

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1 minute ago, aliya said:

I don't trust reporters to get anything right.  Maybe the rules are different for prisoners. 

This was over 10 years ago.  It was a regional news magazine type show that was in a major news market (they had done a story on them back in the 80's - a series on unconventional romance, and this was a follow-up when he passed away), so I would have thought their reporters would have done research to get it right.  Mr. Funky's Aunt remarried and lives out of state.  I haven't talked to her in some time.  When I have a few moments, I'll have to see if this pertains just to prisoners, but the reporter made it sound like it was everyone (although I'm sure there are exceptions).

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I was raging at Eric during that meal with his daughters. The GALL of him to say, 'whats done is done' had me wanting to gouge his eyes out. Its not done, it will never be done, you've wrought irreparable damage. In time, things will likely calm down and they could be civil to you but they will NEVER forget that you put that shrill woman in front of them. Do you have a right to be happy? Of course you do but did it need to come at the cost of your relationship with them? Big mistake. Big. Huge. They're going shopping.

Not interested in whiny Jon or Fernanda although I was quite rolling my eyes at Jon when he listed all of the things he did/spent/gave her. Nice list. I'm sure you weren't interested in her having new bewbs for yourself were you? 

Who the hell sings Amazing Grace at a wedding? Nevermind that it was by an Elvis impersonator. And that dress. Ugh. Why oh why did we not get the visit to Ashley's house on camera? I wouldn't have had the balls to show up at her house. I'd have crawled under a rock first.

I can't say anything more about the Kolonic family than whats already been said but who is giving Cousin It all the money for these rentals? How are they putting food on the table or paying or gas or food & diapers for the baby?

I can't even with Steven. He irks me beyond reason. He had Olga all tied up in knots thinking her baby was leaving the country. What a shit.

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I don't get the Jay hate.  Some say, "he knew he couldn't be faithful."  You know who also knew Jay couldn't be faithful?  Ashley.  Ashley knew the man couldn't be faithful, but she wanted a hot young guy in her bed.  She wanted to tell her girlfriends, "see how hot my husband is, while your men are all fat and balding." 

If you want a hot husband, a hot husband is all you'll get.  

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32 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don't get the Jay hate.  Some say, "he knew he couldn't be faithful."  You know who also knew Jay couldn't be faithful?  Ashley.  Ashley knew the man couldn't be faithful, but she wanted a hot young guy in her bed.  She wanted to tell her girlfriends, "see how hot my husband is, while your men are all fat and balding." 

If you want a hot husband, a hot husband is all you'll get.  

But why couldn’t he be faithful? He’s entering into a marriage, which is his choice, so he can suck it up and do what he is presumably vowing to do. 

I agree with you that Ashley had the willful ignorance blinders on and shares some of the blame, but Jay made choices too and it’s not at all unreasonable to hold him accountable for said choices.

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42 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I don't get the Jay hate.  Some say, "he knew he couldn't be faithful."  You know who also knew Jay couldn't be faithful?  Ashley.  Ashley knew the man couldn't be faithful, but she wanted a hot young guy in her bed.  She wanted to tell her girlfriends, "see how hot my husband is, while your men are all fat and balding." 

If you want a hot husband, a hot husband is all you'll get.  

 

I think a lot of people are saying the same thing you are -- that Ashley is an idiot for marrying him when she knew he couldn't be faithful.  That said, he has no business getting married, so I don't see the problem with people hating on him.  I think you can feel two emotions for the couple at the same time -- Ashley, you're an idiot for marrying someone who clearly isn't ready for marriage; Jay you're a cheat who shouldn't have gotten married.

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10 minutes ago, RoadFullOfPromise said:

But why couldn’t he be faithful? He’s entering into a marriage, which is his choice, so he can suck it up and do what he is presumably vowing to do. 

I agree with you that Ashley had the willful ignorance blinders on and shares some of the blame, but Jay made choices too and it’s not at all unreasonable to hold him accountable for said choices.

Hey, Jay can't even drink legally in the US.  Sure marriage is his choice, but Ashley is a decade older than he.  And it's not like Jay didn't pretend to be a horndog.  And Ashley has children, she's supposed to be the one with the most sense.  

At least Ashley was smart enough not to get pregnant by Jay.

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23 hours ago, Lindalu said:

Can we just quit with the massive catapillar eyebrows! Who want to see two animals on their face!

YES!  And it looks even more bizarre in person.  Every time I go to my local Ulta store, the saleswomen there are so loaded down with heavy makeup --- including the brows.  I wish these young girls would realize that the Instagram look my look great on Instagram, but in person, very drag queen and takes away from their actual beauty.

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19 hours ago, Horrified said:

I think you raise a solid possibility.  Kolini has probably always been the (cough) "successful" sister.  Probably got decent grades, was athletic and all-around a non-problem-child.  I'm guessing that Kalani was always a fuck-up whose parents had to continually come to her aid, now they just do it on auto-pilot.  Kalani probably subconsciously still makes a mess out of everything because its the lazy way out and deep down, she knows that family will take care of things for her.  Kolini could be having a big old "its not fair" pity party in her head.  Kolini would probably love to be in a relationship and have kids, but she knows that she'll have to accomplish all that on her own.  To add insult to injury, she's being pushed out of the picture to make room for Asuelu.  Meanwhile, sister Kalani just sits there like a lump and gets babies and a guy and Mom and Dad pick up the tab.

Yes, that is what I was getting at. And also sadness over the possibility of losing her best friend (sister).

 

19 hours ago, Spike said:

I don’t think men need to stand up for women.  Women can stand up for themselves.  

Missed the point totally. 

 

17 hours ago, Spike said:

Colt should have asked John to leave if he couldn’t control himself.  But I don’t believe it’s fair for a couple to double team someone if the argument is not about them.  Provide the partner moral support after the fact.  But no bullying by strength of numbers.

Larissa was already outnumbered. Colt defending her would have made it closer to a fair fight, at least.

But imo all that Colt needed to say was, "you're not going to speak to her that way. Don't come back until you're ready to apologize to her." The end.

 

16 hours ago, lucy711 said:

Jay knew he wasn't ready.  I don't feel bad for him because he was clearing working a con on Ashley the whole time. 

If it was really a con, I think he would have waited it out longer, been more discreet. Feels more like he was looking for a way to get out of the marriage.

 

8 hours ago, Mr. Minor said:

I think Asuelo is the exact type of Samoan guy Kalani’s dad is talking about. If I were him I would be very bummed out that my idiot daughter let this dullard impregnate her twice.

But why does it have to specifically be a type of Samoan? (general question, directed more to Low than you) There are men like this in every ethnic group.

 

1 hour ago, Lady Iris said:

Who the hell sings Amazing Grace at a wedding? Nevermind that it was by an Elvis impersonator. And that dress. Ugh. Why oh why did we not get the visit to Ashley's house on camera? I wouldn't have had the balls to show up at her house. I'd have crawled under a rock first.

Wait, what visit did we miss? Explain?

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31 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Hey, Jay can't even drink legally in the US.  Sure marriage is his choice, but Ashley is a decade older than he.  And it's not like Jay didn't pretend to be a horndog.  And Ashley has children, she's supposed to be the one with the most sense.  

At least Ashley was smart enough not to get pregnant by Jay.

I’m really not trying to beat a dead horse here, but Ashley’s poor choices did not force Jay to cheat on his wife. 

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7 minutes ago, eatsleep said:

Wait, what visit did we miss? Explain?

I'm sorry, I got my names mixed up. Ashley went to the moped chick's house to tell her what happened. Can't think of her name. I wish we could've witnessed that visit since Ashley would've been eating humble pie the entire time.

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16 hours ago, lucy711 said:

Jay knew he wasn't ready.  I don't feel bad for him because he was clearing working a con on Ashley the whole time.  I didn't think he was in it for the green card, but apparently he was.

I don't feel bad for him either, he is a con man.  If and when he gets his green card, what is he going to do? He is an idiot in a stupid red suit. Good luck finding a job.

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14 hours ago, iwasish said:

No one is holding her hostage, Colt was more than prepared to buy her a ticket home. And once she realized he was serious about it, her whole demeanor changed.  I think Larissa came here thinking she could get her way with him by being sexually available. IMO Colt is taking full advantage, but not so overcome by her talents that he’s going to give her access to his assets. Look at Eric and Leida, Eric’s “last chance at love” is driving him to ruin his relationship with his kids and probably send him into debt with her relentless nagging that he prove she’s his number one priority. '

Totally agree.  I think Colt should have stepped in and told his cousin to STFU, but out of all the 90 Day Fiances, he's most definitely the one who knows the score.  He knows Larissa isn't here out of some overwhelming love for him.  He also knows that Larissa's are probably a dime a dozen in the international dating market.   I can't imagine him every putting up with a Leida.  Eric should take lessons there.

And did Eric's mom kick him in the balls constantly growing up?  The attraction makes sense if his mother was a nasty loon like Leida.   I can't figure out what his attraction is to Leida other than thinking she does come from wealth and once the parents kick the bucket they'll be in the money.  His poor girls, with the exception of Jennica, got hit with his ugly stick.  I feel so sorry for them having such a shit father.

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Eric is an absolute piece of shit, with not an ounce of honor in him. I cannot believe he allowed someone to treat his daughter this way. He deserves for his daughters and father to leave him with Leida, as Leida sucks him ass dry for everything. I know once Leida is legit here in the states she's going to find someone else. Eric is nothing for her but a means to a green card. He deserves everything he gets.

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19 hours ago, Horrified said:

I think you raise a solid possibility.  Kolini has probably always been the (cough) "successful" sister.  Probably got decent grades, was athletic and all-around a non-problem-child.  I'm guessing that Kalani was always a fuck-up whose parents had to continually come to her aid, now they just do it on auto-pilot.  Kalani probably subconsciously still makes a mess out of everything because its the lazy way out and deep down, she knows that family will take care of things for her.  Kolini could be having a big old "its not fair" pity party in her head.  Kolini would probably love to be in a relationship and have kids, but she knows that she'll have to accomplish all that on her own.  To add insult to injury, she's being pushed out of the picture to make room for Asuelu.  Meanwhile, sister Kalani just sits there like a lump and gets babies and a guy and Mom and Dad pick up the tab.

That's exactly what I was thinking -- I mentioned earlier that Kolini is probably counting the inheritance she is losing from more of Kalani's mistakes.  I bet the entire family has to clean up after Kalani constantly.  

What I find interesting is apparently the family is religious and yet I got the distinct impression that hosebeast's mom was asking (or encouraging) if she was going to abort the newest baby.  And seems odd that dad would call off a wedding b/c of a pregnancy.  You'd think being religious that's what he'd want instead of daughter being unwed and having two babies out of wedlock.

Maybe Asuelu is such a simpleton that any form of religion goes out the door b/c you don't want your daughter marrying an idiot who likely won't have great job prospects in this country.

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5 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

And did Eric's mom kick him in the balls constantly growing up?  The attraction makes sense if his mother was a nasty loon like Leida.   I can't figure out what his attraction is to Leida other than thinking she does come from wealth and once the parents kick the bucket they'll be in the money.  His poor girls, with the exception of Jennica, got hit with his ugly stick.  I feel so sorry for them having such a shit father.

I think he likes being bossed around.  I think he likes someone to tell him what to do, what to think, etc.  None of his daughters will win a beauty contest, but to me, they're not ugly.  Just average.  And poorly trained on how to dress for your body type/skin tone, how to style your hair, etc.  I'm allergic to most makeups, so I don't bother, but I try to dress my best for the situation.  I don't wear designer clothing, but I make sure my shirts are appropriate length, my arms are covered, I'm not showing an inordinate amount of cleavage (I'm not in turtlenecks either, but think along the lines of Ashley's friend on the scooter - girl can't dress), etc.  I don't wear shorts because I end up looking like Asuelo.  I can't style hair to save my life, but any stylist worth their salt will know what to do if you say "Look:  I can't use a curling iron or styling product worth a darn.  I just want something I can wash and go." and they can help.  I don't think his daughters are dirty - just "sloppy" looking.  And looking at their parents, they likely didn't have good guidance.  Tasha looked much better with a more appropriate hair color.  Both her and the other older sister would do well with a short funky haircut.

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1 hour ago, RoadFullOfPromise said:

I’m really not trying to beat a dead horse here, but Ashley’s poor choices did not force Jay to cheat on his wife. 

I still don't think they're 50/50 at fault.  Ashley is older, and has minor children; that alone should make her more cautious, and Jay wasn't even a good con artist; to me, all he had going for him was youth.  

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1 hour ago, eatsleep said:

Yes, that is what I was getting at. And also sadness over the possibility of losing her best friend (sister).

 

Missed the point totally. 

 

Larissa was already outnumbered. Colt defending her would have made it closer to a fair fight, at least.

But imo all that Colt needed to say was, "you're not going to speak to her that way. Don't come back until you're ready to apologize to her." The end.

 

If it was really a con, I think he would have waited it out longer, been more discreet. Feels more like he was looking for a way to get out of the marriage.

 

But why does it have to specifically be a type of Samoan? (general question, directed more to Low than you) There are men like this in every ethnic group.

 

Wait, what visit did we miss? Explain?

I didn’t miss the point.  We just have different views. 

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20 hours ago, Spike said:

Well they weren’t married.  But I agree with Colt that him joining in the shouting would only have escalated the situation.  Larissa did not seem frightened or intimidated.  She thrives on drama, real or manufactured.

She may not have seemed frightened or intimidated, but she probably felt attacked and reacted aggressively. While I do not disagree she's drama, I am sure she's felt like a third wheel since moving in with Coltee and Debbie.  

17 hours ago, Spike said:

Well he agreed with everything John said, so why not let John do the dirty work?

I am not sure why he's marrying her if she's such a bitch.  Sounds like they are starting off on a good foundation when you believe your fiancée is such a bitch that you have no issue where her being verbally attacked by your family for it. LOL.

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2 hours ago, lezlers said:

Even assuming all of this is true (which it probably is) Colt is free to send her home.   It's like when someone is in an unhappy marriage and cheats.  It doesn't matter how awful their spouse is, if they're unhappy they need to leave, not cheat.  Larissa's bad behavior doesn't excuse Cole allowing his family to verbally attack her and doing nothing to defend her.  Also?  Colt knows what he was doing when he started "dating" Larissa.  He was buying a woman he'd have no chance in hell of getting here in the States.  He's a dorky guy who lives with his mom and dresses up his cats who has likely never had a serious relationship in his life who has the body of an overweight middle aged woman.   He knew the score when he brought her over here.  Let's not be naïve. 

And she knew what part she played in this deal. She was offering the one thing she can offer, sex. I sounds harsh but that’s the truth. 

My thinking is that the 90 day period gives them time to get to know each other somewhat better than they have  via internet and possible limited visits. They can decide if they LIKE each  other enough to stay together. Should Colt have stood up and put a stop to John’s verbal attack on Larissa? Most of us would say yes. Colts explanation for not doing so speaks to his personality and ideas. He seemed to feel that Larissa contributed to the dust up and could hold her own. When Colt and Larissa discuss the situation, he makes it clear he feels she contributed to the argument and  he prefers not to get involved in those situations.  Who is right and who is wrong is immaterial IMO, the point  I wanted to make is that if Larissa wants a man who will step up, that man is not Colt, and if Colt wants a woman who doesn’t go from “ zero to bitch in thirty seconds” Larissa is not that woman.  At the end of the 90 days, each has to weigh the pros and cons of what they’ve learned and decide to move forward or call things off. These couples all drag the word “love “ into the mix, when I don’t see any thing  even remotely like love in any of these relationships. 

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14 hours ago, iwasish said:

He never said she could buy what she wanted, he gave her a budget and said to get something they all liked. He’s always been clear that there was a limit as to what she spends. 

Should she be grateful? Yes, she doesn’t owe him her life or anything but he put out the cash for a K1 visa and apparently none of the other fish she had on the string had done that so far.  Maybe she did get bamboozled, but she’s got 90 days to make a decision to stay or not. He’s got the same options. Let’s be honest here, they’re throwing the word “love” around, but love has nothing to do with their relationship. It’s a business transaction at the least, a pleasant friendship that could lead to something more, at most. Each has to decide what compromises they’re willing to make.

Both are free to call it quits and go back to searching for someone more compatible.

Tons of men and women meet and marry without any help from internet dating sites. And I’m sure many of them feel as if they were mislead or lied to about lots of things including finances, past relationships etc. They have to make the same choice, stay or go.  It’s no different situation, except for the 90 days. 

As far as the John incident goes, John was out of line, yes. And yes In most cases you would expect a person to defend and or put a stop to that type situation. But Colt isn’t that type of person. The whole point of the 90 days is to see if these couples can forge a life together, are their personalities and expectations of a relationship compatible. If Colt is not the type to jump to his partner’s  defense, then Larissa needs to decide if that is something she can deal with. There are many things she doesn’t get from Colt that she believes she deserves. He’s made it pretty clear he is the way he is and doesn’t seem inclined to change. Screaming and yelling at him isnt getting anything accomplished. So she needs to make a decision, if the goal is the green card, suck it up and hang on till she has it, then adios Colt. Or lower her  expectations, go with the flow and perhaps over the waiting period for the green card, things might improve enough that Colt will find himself doing the things that he would not do when pressed, but will now do because he wants to. 

Or of course just end it now. 

From my impression that was not the deal struck in Brazil or during subsequent conversations.  It was only when Colt got her to drop other guys and come to the United States when he suddenly started with the budget and "my mom controls tbe purse strings"

I mostly agree with you, but now that she let everyone else go she has to start from the beginning.  And the value of what she is offering, youth, beauty and sex goes reduces dramatically with time.  So she is stuck if she gives Colt up....and had he been perfectly honest about the situation she could have kept working another "fish" that had a better situation.

I'm also.not sure, and I mean totally unsure how many k1 visas a person can apply for in a particular period.  

So yeah I think she got bamboozled and given her situation she is in a bind, so she has to do whatever she can to stay because it would take so much time for her to develop the opportunity again.

I think that Colt has made a lot of things "clear" once Larissa got here and he knew he had the upper hand.

Personally I hope she sticks it out for two years, gets her green card and leaves him immediately so he can finally just be with Debbie.

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2 minutes ago, RealReality10 said:

From my impression that was not the deal struck in Brazil or during subsequent conversations.  It was only when Colt got her to drop other guys and come to the United States when he suddenly started with the budget and "my mom controls tbe purse strings"

I mostly agree with you, but now that she let everyone else go she has to start from the beginning.  And the value of what she is offering, youth, beauty and sex goes reduces dramatically with time.  So she is stuck if she gives Colt up....and had he been perfectly honest about the situation she could have kept working another "fish" that had a better situation.

I'm also.not sure, and I mean totally unsure how many k1 visas a person can apply for in a particular period.  

So yeah I think she got bamboozled and given her situation she is in a bind, so she has to do whatever she can to stay because it would take so much time for her to develop the opportunity again.

I think that Colt has made a lot of things "clear" once Larissa got here and he knew he had the upper hand.

Personally I hope she sticks it out for two years, gets her green card and leaves him immediately so he can finally just be with Debbie.

But Colt also loses the time and funds he has invested in this relationship. Interesting point you bring up about the K1. I’m assuming it is the US cutizen who applies for it. If the 90 days elapse and there is no marriage, the non citizen returns home, can the US citizen then apply for a K1 for an entirely new person?  I would think it would st least raise some red flags...  and regarding the non citizen who returned to their homeland, can another US citizen apply to bring them over to the US? 

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42 minutes ago, sasha206 said:

What I find interesting is apparently the family is religious and yet I got the distinct impression that hosebeast's mom was asking (or encouraging) if she was going to abort the newest baby.  And seems odd that dad would call off a wedding b/c of a pregnancy.  You'd think being religious that's what he'd want instead of daughter being unwed and having two babies out of wedlock.

No, she didn't ask or encourage anything like that. The whole discussion btwn Lisa and Kalani was trying to understand why Asuelu was happy about the pregnancy, trying to understand if Asuelu understood why Kalani was not happy about the pregnancy and trying to understand if Asuelu had purposely impregnated Kalani to secure his green card. So basically, the scene was 15 mins of NOTHING. But no, never did either of them say or imply anything about possibly ending the pregnancy. I was listening for that exact reason.

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1 minute ago, eatsleep said:

No, she didn't ask or encourage anything like that. The whole discussion btwn Lisa and Kalani was trying to understand why Asuelu was happy about the pregnancy, trying to understand if Asuelu understood why Kalani was not happy about the pregnancy and trying to understand if Asuelu had purposely impregnated Kalani to secure his green card. So basically, the scene was 15 mins of NOTHING. But no, never did either of them say or imply anything about possibly ending the pregnancy. I was listening for that exact reason.

I thought she asked something like, "are you sure you want to go through this?" and it wasn't in the context of her getting married but with the pregnancy.  Will have to go rewatch the scene.

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6 minutes ago, eatsleep said:

and trying to understand if Asuelu had purposely impregnated Kalani to secure his green card.

I dont see how this is even possible because nobody can purposel impregnate her unless it was forced, which it wasn't. There are no victims here regardless of how much Kalani wants to be one.

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3 minutes ago, gingerella said:

I dont see how this is even possible because nobody can purposel impregnate her unless it was forced, which it wasn't. There are no victims here regardless of how much Kalani wants to be one.

Their thinking about this is not logical. but then again, neither was Kalani's decision in the first place to have unprotected sex w/ Asuelu, to marry him, to quit her job, to move to Utah, to fear her relatives' reactions about the 2nd pregnancy, etc. None of it. 

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10 minutes ago, iwasish said:

But Colt also loses the time and funds he has invested in this relationship. Interesting point you bring up about the K1. I’m assuming it is the US cutizen who applies for it. If the 90 days elapse and there is no marriage, the non citizen returns home, can the US citizen then apply for a K1 for an entirely new person?  I would think it would st least raise some red flags...  and regarding the non citizen who returned to their homeland, can another US citizen apply to bring them over to the US? 

True, Colt loses money, but that can be replenished, especially if you're living with your mom and driving a rust bucket with no ac.  

Beauty, sex appeal and youth are non refundable and non replenishable.

I mean I mostly agree with you.  For either of them to talk about "love" is laughable.  That clearly isn't the exchange.  I just think Larissa may have been led to believe that the terms of the exchange were different than what they actually were.  It's up to her now if she is still willing to stay in it, and I think she will be.

I am also curious about whether a person brought over on a k1 visa who doesn't get married can be.brought back on another k1.  

Any of you k1 ninjas have the answer?

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2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

At least Ashley was smart enough not to get pregnant by Jay.

The season isn't over yet.  I wouldn't be surprised by this as a "plot twist"

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I don't feel sorry for Ashley AT ALL. In the beginning she had this smug " I'm not fat and ugly so no way he's conning me" attitude. She wouldn't listen to reason and everyone who had concerns was jealous. Just be happy she's found true love! It's not her fault you can't pull a fine young Jamaican. Can she live??? Now she has to eat crow. Oh well.  

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5 hours ago, Drogo said:

Don't forget Tasha:

Eric-Leida-Gross-Apartment-90-Day-Fiance

Is that blue V shaped thing on the desk a "Thighmaster"? And what's with the toilet paper by the recliner? 

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1 minute ago, magemaud said:

Is that blue V shaped thing on the desk a "Thighmaster"? And what's with the toilet paper by the recliner? 

Doesn't look like a Thighmaster, but not sure what it is.  A lot of people use toilet paper as tissues.  I'm pretty confident that's what is being done here.

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