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LuAnn de Lesseps: No Longer a Countess, Still Never a Princess

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30 minutes ago, divsc said:

Wow! Apparently. How nice of Bethenny to share the details on camera!

She's good like that. But don't you DARE ask about her custody situation or if her boyfriend is married.

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2 hours ago, Emmeline said:

You were running in a field in negligee 

Wasn't this the theme of every bath and douche product from the 1970s? 😎

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4 hours ago, izabella said:

Bethy is prone to exaggeration, so I'd take all that with a boulder of salt.

Not a Lu fan anymore but this is spot on.

Take whatever Bethy says and divide it by a million, then subtract 10 million. 

Raised by wolves, lost at sea, bleeding to death, and so on, and so on....

How can poor Bethenny possibly survive this latest torture?

Lu is still a shit show, but Beth is just as shitty, in another way.

Edited by Happy Camper
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45 minutes ago, Dirtybubble said:

The complete video here

I mean, it certainly is something....

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Ha! Ha! Ha!  That was the lamest thing I've ever seen or heard. First of all, it makes no sense whatsoever. Charlie's, erm, I mean ANDY's Angels, Lu is in a fashion show, then she's lip-synching and running her hands up and down her body for 3 minutes, whilst wearing a fugly wig? And Countess  Queen can't dance to save her life. That was half a step above turtle time. 

It would have been funnier if Lisa Rinna was heckling, "JOVANI!" during her and Cynthia's scenes.

What the ever-loving fuck???  THIS warrants a $3.5 million/year salary? 

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Hell with Countess, now I'm Queen

Was that really a line in Luann's most recent track? Good lord, woman. Talk about an inflated ego.

Yes, to hell with the Countess title. I think I'll take a page from Erika Jayne/Lisa Rinna's book and refer to her as Cuntess from now on.

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2 hours ago, CharlizeCat said:

Ha! Ha! Ha!  That was the lamest thing I've ever seen or heard. First of all, it makes no sense whatsoever. Charlie's, erm, I mean ANDY's Angels, Lu is in a fashion show, then she's lip-synching and running her hands up and down her body for 3 minutes, whilst wearing a fugly wig? And Countess  Queen can't dance to save her life. That was half a step above turtle time. 

It would have been funnier if Lisa Rinna was heckling, "JOVANI!" during her and Cynthia's scenes.

What the ever-loving fuck???  THIS warrants a $3.5 million/year salary? 

I honestly never thought that something would make Kim Z's "Google Me" song sound good, but, Congrats Lu! You did it!

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40 minutes ago, Diane Mars said:

I want so badly this topic renamed : "LuAnn de Lesseps: No Longer a Countess, Still a Cuntess" 🤣

I hope they don't. That word is offensive, IMO, even when it is coming from Erika Jayne and Lisa Rinna.

The only good thing about that song is that Dorinda must be seething. 

Edited by eleanorofaquitaine
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8 minutes ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I hope they don't. That word is offensive, IMO, even when it is coming from Erika Jayne and Lisa Rinna.

The only good thing about that song is that Dorinda must be seething. 

Sorry if it's offensive. Where I'm from (Switzerland), it's not. So apologizes, because I didn't know. 

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3 minutes ago, Diane Mars said:

Sorry if it's offensive. Where I'm from (Switzerland), it's not. So apologizes, because I didn't know. 

No worries. I know that there is some difference of opinion even here in the States but personally, I find it to be a misogynistic slur.

Edited by eleanorofaquitaine
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13 hours ago, Dirtybubble said:

The complete video here

This video allows me to conclude that Lu’s only contribution to society is that she looks good in gowns.

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39 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

This video allows me to conclude that Lu’s only contribution to society is that she looks good in gowns.

Not sure but I would bet that the male population would disagree. 

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On 6/12/2019 at 3:37 PM, Emmeline said:

Dear God, that is painful to watch.  That doesn’t even sound like her.

Oh god.  It reminds me of something that would be on the Hulu parody called Hotwives.  Who is encouraging her singing?  Cause they need a timeout.  Of course Rinna is in the video 🙄.

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31 minutes ago, Natalie68 said:

Who is encouraging her singing? 

Satan Andy, he talks about pressuring her to record alllll the time.

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5 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

This video allows me to conclude that Lu’s only contribution to society is that she looks good in gowns.

This is definitely a video to watch with the volume turned down.  Visually I luved it but good lawd her singing and her rapping/spoken word oof.  🤢

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One of the comments on the song was

Please make an adult video !    LOL

On 6/12/2019 at 6:16 PM, SCS said:

Word on the street: the above trailer triggered the Apocalypse. The first horse then heard Lu's musical stylings, bucked off his rider off, splashed thru a mud puddle and galloped the Hell away. (no pun intended).

Animals know, they can sense a bad person a mile away.

Remember the camel that wanted no part of Luann?  That camel knew she was a piece of shit.

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16 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

This video allows me to conclude that Lu’s only contribution to society is that she looks good in gowns.

What would Lu be doing if she wasn't a Reality "Schtar", dahling?  Bushwacking through the streets of Miami, hunting for her poster, posting the spontaneous photo-she has the depth of a truffle french fry.

She is the best person to have this title. All of her actions support and build her role as a one dimensional Reality "Schtar", always staying in character with a laser focus on the prize.

What prize you ask,  . . . well keeping the title at all costs. 

Easy to do without empathy, insight and a overblown ego. As mentioned before, the scene with her young son, "Sorry kid, mommy can't stay home I have to go out and be seen. And when she tried mentoring the underprivileged young women - embarrassing. Wasn't their also a dumb scene where she was with the daughter and daughter's friends, in a tent celebrating a graduation, blathering about etiquette rules while eating.

She better learn to fake being grateful, or we may soon be reading about her next negligee romp in a field or drunken boating soirée.

Feelin' Jovani y'all.

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22 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I find it to be a misogynistic slur.

That sums it up nicely.

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In the shots with Lu in the silver dress and long black ponytail, at first I thought it was Kyle Richards. 

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On 6/12/2019 at 5:59 PM, SCS said:

Wasn't this the theme of every bath and douche product from the 1970s? 😎

Maybe Lu was having that not so fresh feeling.

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On 6/13/2019 at 7:21 PM, Dirtybubble said:

The complete video here

Is it me or does every one of her songs sound the same?  Also, I think Lu and her cabaret act is every drag queen's wet dream, I mean how could you resist not being Countess Lu, she campy as can be!

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I've been re-watching some old seasons and Lu was actually very laid back and likeable when she was with Jacque.  (sp?)  Post Countess and pre cabaret Lu is the best Lu.  I don't know if he was the deciding factor in her good behavior, but she was a completely different person.

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1 hour ago, BucFan said:

In the shots with Lu in the silver dress and long black ponytail, at first I thought it was Kyle Richards. 

I thought she looked more like Danielle Staub (RHNJ)

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On 6/13/2019 at 5:55 PM, SuprSuprElevated said:

Don't say I never gave you anything -

How did Lisa Rinna and Cynthia Bailey become a part of the video? 

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2 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Maybe Lu was having that not so fresh feeling.

An excellent point, especially if her negligee flit was post-assignation...

8 hours ago, itsadryheat said:

Wasn't their also a dumb scene where she was with the daughter and daughter's friends, in a tent celebrating a graduation, blathering about etiquette rules while eating.

Yes, and through it all Victoria masticated wildly with her mouth open. 😁

Edited by SCS
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1 hour ago, SCS said:

Yes, and through it all Victoria masticated wildly with her mouth open😁

That is just a huge pet peeve of mine. I don’t miss Carole for her eating etiquette, and Lu....good manners begin at home. Teach your children better instead of running around chasing men and falling in the bushes. 

What ever became of her daughter’s DUI? 

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On 6/12/2019 at 3:16 PM, SCS said:

Mein Gott.

Word on the street: the above trailer triggered the Apocalypse. The first horse then heard Lu's musical stylings, bucked off his rider off, splashed thru a mud puddle and galloped the Hell away. (no pun intended).

giphy.gif

On 6/13/2019 at 3:55 PM, SuprSuprElevated said:

Don't say I never gave you anything -

Jesus christ. I'm like, what could be worse than watching LuAnn look as fresh as a Baby Jane recital. Then I see Rinna's old skin-covered skeleton gyrating with her open lips that belong in a pair of panties......god she grosses me out. I'll take a thousand Lu cabarets over a forty second Rinna doing that. Geesh...she just gives me the creeps.

Edited by MavisL
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4 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Is it me or does every one of her songs sound the same?  Also, I think Lu and her cabaret act is every drag queen's wet dream, I mean how could you resist not being Countess Lu, she campy as can be!

They really do sound similar. These songs are great for drag queens because Lu's voice is so deep that a drag queen wouldn't even have to lip sync. A drag queen could just sing live and sound 100% better than Luann.

In the preview for next week, Ben is absolutely gleeful watching Luann's strangled moose calls that she thinks of as singing. It actually makes me dislike Ben a little because Luann is too dumLUsional to be in on the joke. Jeez Ben can you reserve your very obvious delight at her awfulness until she leaves the room.

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23 hours ago, Dirtybubble said:

This is definitely a video to watch with the volume turned down.  Visually I luved it but good lawd her singing and her rapping/spoken word oof.  🤢

5 hours ago, Baltimore Betty said:

Is it me or does every one of her songs sound the same?  Also, I think Lu and her cabaret act is every drag queen's wet dream, I mean how could you resist not being Countess Lu, she campy as can be!

Yes. Every song is essentially the same. Maybe three or four different notes that Lu mangles, then she just seems to recite a list of various things. 95% spoken word.

In the movie “Say Anything,” Joan Cusack’s character notices that her brother subsists primarily on stuff like Doritoes, soda, Lucky Charms, and Ding Dongs. She complains, “There’s no food in your food!”

Lu, there’s no song in your song. 

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23 minutes ago, HunterHunted said:

They really do sound similar. These songs are great for drag queens because Lu's voice is so deep that a drag queen wouldn't even have to lip sync. A drag queen could just sing live and sound 100% better than Luann.

In the preview for next week, Ben is absolutely gleeful watching Luann's strangled moose calls that she thinks of as singing. It actually makes me dislike Ben a little because Luann is too dumLUsional to be in on the joke. Jeez Ben can you reserve your very obvious delight at her awfulness until she leaves the room.

I was going to ask you about this. I really do get the impression that Lu amuses Ben. He doesn’t seem that concerned about her sobriety. He’s laughing at her, not with her. I don’t think he respects her.  He also seems to enjoy the fact that Lu is NOT in on the joke, that she IS the joke. Has he done this with other clients? Or is it just that Lu is the only one who is too dumb to figure it out? 

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In giving some thought to Lu's pride re her cabaret act, I suspect a huge part of it comes from the fact that it is something she has built for herself (with her collaborators, no doubt) without the assistance of a husband or boyfriend or what have you.  I think a big part of why she is so happy about it and pushing it so hard is because it allows her a measure of independence that she hasn't had previously, because it's money she's earned without reference to a male partner.

I also think that is what she was trying to say to Bethenny when Beth was having her meltdown about Lu leaving rehab early to go do the cabaret act. Beth was acting as if this indicated that Lu was "obsessed" with the cabaret but I suspect what Lu was trying to say is that she HAD to continue to do the cabaret act in order to not lose any money. One would think that Beth would be somewhat sympathetic to that explanation but she was so deep into her hysterics at that point that nothing was getting through. 

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Ugh, I finally broke down and watched that video. Outside of all the other obvious embarrassments, Lu can't even catch her breath when she's "singing"

I thought it was ridiculous when Dorinda told Lu that she was going to sue her for talking about her in her act, but this made me understand her POV. Frankly, I almost want to sue Lu for inflicting that video upon me. The presence of that loathsome dehydrated walking celery stick Lisa Rinna made it even worse. 

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2 minutes ago, Otherkate said:

The presence of that loathsome dehydrated walking celery stick Lisa Rinna made it even worse. 

Oh that was just too funny and spot on. 

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4 hours ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

I was going to ask you about this. I really do get the impression that Lu amuses Ben. He doesn’t seem that concerned about her sobriety. He’s laughing at her, not with her. I don’t think he respects her.  He also seems to enjoy the fact that Lu is NOT in on the joke, that she IS the joke. Has he done this with other clients? Or is it just that Lu is the only one who is too dumb to figure it out? 

I don't think he respects her at all either. I never got the sense that he had a hate on for her in his recaps. He even has a one man show about his own issues with drugs, alcohol, and overspending and how those issues led him to theft, fraud, prostitution, and rehab. It seems like he'd be sympathetic towards Luann, but at the Halloween performance he seemed pretty blase about how bad of an environment for Lu's sobriety. Someone in the episode thread mentioned that Heather said Luann was incapable of introspection. You can't get her to think about her life, her patterns, and her choices. I suspect that Ben realized this too and just continued to work because Lu's going to Lu.

3 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

In giving some thought to Lu's pride re her cabaret act, I suspect a huge part of it comes from the fact that it is something she has built for herself (with her collaborators, no doubt) without the assistance of a husband or boyfriend or what have you.  I think a big part of why she is so happy about it and pushing it so hard is because it allows her a measure of independence that she hasn't had previously, because it's money she's earned without reference to a male partner.

I don't think Luann is especially proud of the cabaret show because she achieved it independently. Luann just likes people paying attention to her. When they were at the sandbar in Miami and those guys came by playing one of her songs, she lit up and started yelling about how "they knew her music." One of the few times Luann was shook was when they were at Birdland and Billy Stritch was playing. Mario sang a song to the love of his life, Ramona. Hahahahahaha! This probably filmed around the time when Kasey had to get an abortion because Mario knocked her up. Heather had to get up a sing because Luann wouldn't sing. I think Luann refused to sing because she would have needed 3 weeks prep.

Luann has no issues with being entirely supported by men. That has never been an issue with her. Within weeks of meeting Tom, she moved into Tom's apartment and had him pay to remodel her kitchen in her Sag Harbor house. She shoved it everyone's face that she had a man. She bragged that Alex was going to walk her down the aisle when she married Tom. This didn't happen. Alex never came to the wedding.

3 hours ago, eleanorofaquitaine said:

I also think that is what she was trying to say to Bethenny when Beth was having her meltdown about Lu leaving rehab early to go do the cabaret act. Beth was acting as if this indicated that Lu was "obsessed" with the cabaret but I suspect what Lu was trying to say is that she HAD to continue to do the cabaret act in order to not lose any money. One would think that Beth would be somewhat sympathetic to that explanation but she was so deep into her hysterics at that point that nothing was getting through. 

It's pretty clear Luann needs the cabaret money. I think Bethenny would have been sympathetic about Lu leaving rehab and needing to work had Bethenny not been present during Luann's relapse. Many of us assumed that it was a relapse in name only and Luann was hiding from the press and skipping the reunion. But Bethenny's description was bonkers. If half of it is true, Luann should have stayed in. If it's all true, Luann needed to stay in rehab. Her health should mean more than the couple thousand dollars she would have made with 2 or 3 performances.

All of the women have problematic drinking habits, but the 3 with the most problematic drinking issues have had serious consequences. Dorinda stabs herself with a knife. Sonja slips and nearly does a header into the table. Luann gets blitzed and has the police called on her twice. This is serious shit.

Luann has no coping mechanisms to deal with challenges. She's never developed them because her previous strategy for dealing with problems was having a rich guy fix her problem. During that weekend, not only was a rich guy not going to help her out, he (Alex) was part of the problem as Alex and the kids were suing her. Luann needs a ton of therapy and treatment. In the therapeutic and disability world, we talk about rehab and hab. Rehab is to improve functioning to some prior level, but it assumes you had some prior higher level of function in the past. Hab (habilitation) is to teach you skills or functioning that you never had. Luann has a whole host of skills that she never learned and we're seeing what happens when you expect things out of a person lacking those skills.

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1 hour ago, HunterHunted said:

I don't think he respects her at all either. I never got the sense that he had a hate on for her in his recaps. He even has a one man show about his own issues with drugs, alcohol, and overspending and how those issues led him to theft, fraud, prostitution, and rehab. It seems like he'd be sympathetic towards Luann, but at the Halloween performance he seemed pretty blase about how bad of an environment for Lu's sobriety. Someone in the episode thread mentioned that Heather said Luann was incapable of introspection. You can't get her to think about her life, her patterns, and her choices. I suspect that Ben realized this too and just continued to work because Lu's going to Lu.

I don't think Luann is especially proud of the cabaret show because she achieved it independently. Luann just likes people paying attention to her. When they were at the sandbar in Miami and those guys came by playing one of her songs, she lit up and started yelling about how "they knew her music." One of the few times Luann was shook was when they were at Birdland and Billy Stritch was playing. Mario sang a song to the love of his life, Ramona. Hahahahahaha! This probably filmed around the time when Kasey had to get an abortion because Mario knocked her up. Heather had to get up a sing because Luann wouldn't sing. I think Luann refused to sing because she would have needed 3 weeks prep.

Luann has no issues with being entirely supported by men. That has never been an issue with her. Within weeks of meeting Tom, she moved into Tom's apartment and had him pay to remodel her kitchen in her Sag Harbor house. She shoved it everyone's face that she had a man. She bragged that Alex was going to walk her down the aisle when she married Tom. This didn't happen. Alex never came to the wedding.

It's pretty clear Luann needs the cabaret money. I think Bethenny would have been sympathetic about Lu leaving rehab and needing to work had Bethenny not been present during Luann's relapse. Many of us assumed that it was a relapse in name only and Luann was hiding from the press and skipping the reunion. But Bethenny's description was bonkers. If half of it is true, Luann should have stayed in. If it's all true, Luann needed to stay in rehab. Her health should mean more than the couple thousand dollars she would have made with 2 or 3 performances.

All of the women have problematic drinking habits, but the 3 with the most problematic drinking issues have had serious consequences. Dorinda stabs herself with a knife. Sonja slips and nearly does a header into the table. Luann gets blitzed and has the police called on her twice. This is serious shit.

Luann has no coping mechanisms to deal with challenges. She's never developed them because her previous strategy for dealing with problems was having a rich guy fix her problem. During that weekend, not only was a rich guy not going to help her out, he (Alex) was part of the problem as Alex and the kids were suing her. Luann needs a ton of therapy and treatment. In the therapeutic and disability world, we talk about rehab and hab. Rehab is to improve functioning to some prior level, but it assumes you had some prior higher level of function in the past. Hab (habilitation) is to teach you skills or functioning that you never had. Luann has a whole host of skills that she never learned and we're seeing what happens when you expect things out of a person lacking those skills.

Between you and Film Noire, we need to have a standing ovations option. You two just GET IT.

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Oh man — on the subject of addiction (Lu’s thread seemed as good as any to post about it), read Kristen Johnson’s addiction memoir “GUTS” today.  Cover to cover. Her description of the addict’s thought processes and habits had me open-mouthed a couple of times, so closely did they track with what we’ve observed & discussed w/regard to Lu, Sawn & Doris. (Apologies if this is old news. The book is from ‘12 and the first of the genre [celebrity addiction / recovery] that I’ve read. But it was so spot-on!)

GUTS

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