S02.E03: I Want This to Be Real

[Drogo]

Scott fears he's Lizzie's "trick" and has a major meltdown leading tot heir first fight; at Matt's release, Caitlin inspects her man; Michael's wife and girlfriend make plans to pick him up from prison.

[cooksdelight]

Caitlin is a hot mess. Her mouth machinations drives me nuts. And he ain’t no prize, he makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. The guy’s bad news.

Scott .... you’re an idiot. Spending a trashcan worth of money on junk food and sweets when you probably barely have the money to pay for the two hotel rooms! I cannot wait for him to tell Lizzie he’s broke and see how the flames shoot up as she makes her way away from him as fast as she can.

Megan ... you’re an idiot too. If you had any gumption whatsoever, you’d show your ass up at the prison tomorrow as planned and tell him he’s not in charge of everything. They could charge pay-per-view for the ultimate showdown and people would pay. I would. I’m not embarassed to say I love a good train wreck!

I cannot remember the dude’s name, with the blonde prisoner girlfriend ... she’s not into him. At ALL. I can see that from how he’s the one making all the moves and she just sort of sits there.

Clueless Dumbass’ mom should have made that flight with him. He really needs someone to hold his hand and guide him through life.

[Drogo]

"Scott, stop embarrassing us." 

                                                -Men

[hookedontv]

14 minutes ago, cooksdelight said:

Caitlin is a hot mess. Her mouth machinations drives me nuts.

Ugh you are so right! Her facial contortions and theatrics get on my last nerve. 

I love this show, why isn’t it 2 hours long? I’ve never seen someone spend $130 on snacks at a gas station, plus another $100 on scratch offs. I’d tell Scott to run but he’s too stupid to understand. 

Edited December 22, 2018 by hookedontv
Typo

[Drogo]

Why is the airport ladies room a "Severe Weather Area"...?

[cooksdelight]

I was waiting for the ATM to tell him he had no money. I was actually praying that would happen so that woman would ditch him now.

[Cammi]

Matt and Caitlyn will be doing meth together on the ride home. Does she have a baby? What was with the baby footprints tattoo on her back? I hope they buy condoms.

Scott just realized Lizzie's game. When you're behind walls and only have sweet letters and phone calls, you can be blind to the truth. It's a little bit harder for grifter Lizzie to keep up the act face-to-face. And no Scott, she is certainly not too pretty for you.  Pretty is not a word I would use to describe this grown woman who has a fake baby voice.  You just know she was telling her daughter on the phone to just ride it out with Scott until they can get all that they could from him. She ain't no born again virgin, she was giving blowies to the guards for a bag of Takis. 

Captain Save a Ho and his girl were sweet.  I was very impressed how his tall lanky ass picked her up and swung her in the car seemingly effortlessly.  I'm not saying she's a big girl, but she wasn't exactly petite, and he didn't exactly look to have a lot of meat on him. 

Clint is mentally slow. Facts. I'm worried. Please for the love of everything, let him already have had a vasectomy. 

Where is Angela??? I'm dying to see Tony! 

No comment on the obvious fake three way storyline. Wait, I lie... why does Sarah's accent change when she speaks to Michael? So curious 

Edited December 22, 2018 by Cammi
More snark

[cooksdelight]

15 minutes ago, Drogo said:

Why is the airport ladies room a "Severe Weather Area"...?

Unless you’ve been in there ....

[LilaFowler]

Marcellino and Brittany: he's her ride from the prison, nothing more and he seems like a control freak to me. He couldn't let her have even five minutes to herself out in the desert.

Caitlin and Matt: both look and seem like tweakers. She has to be on drugs of some kind during this episode. She seems like the type who will end up stripping and then hooking (to support a drug habit) and she'll wind up in prison herself.

Michael and his sister wives: no words. Both women should feel played and used and betrayed by him right now, watching this. He had his wife flying in to pick him up and he's telling his trick "I love you" at the same time.

Scott and Lizzie: she needed a ride from prison and a place to stay. Being on tv was also a plus, I'm sure. Woman of God, lol. Scott knows what's up now and he's such a sad, stupid sack. Friends and family tried to warn him but he wouldn't listen.

Angela and Tony: where are they?!

[Reality police]

1 hour ago, cooksdelight said:

Caitlin is a hot mess. Her mouth machinations drives me nuts. And he ain’t no prize, he makes the hair on the back of my neck stand up. The guy’s bad news.

Scott .... you’re an idiot. Spending a trashcan worth of money on junk food and sweets when you probably barely have the money to pay for the two hotel rooms! I cannot wait for him to tell Lizzie he’s broke and see how the flames shoot up as she makes her way away from him as fast as she can.

Megan ... you’re an idiot too. If you had any gumption whatsoever, you’d show your ass up at the prison tomorrow as planned and tell him he’s not in charge of everything. They could charge pay-per-view for the ultimate showdown and people would pay. I would. I’m not embarassed to say I love a good train wreck!

I cannot remember the dude’s name, with the blonde prisoner girlfriend ... she’s not into him. At ALL. I can see that from how he’s the one making all the moves and she just sort of sits there.

Clueless Dumbass’ mom should have made that flight with him. He really needs someone to hold his hand and guide him through life.

Everything I was thinking you said. 

I yelled at the tv to Megan, get on that plane you idiot! I would have been waiting right outside that gate.

Scott, bless his heart.

Clint, for heaven's sake mom, if you don't agree with this mess, why fund the whole trip? Let him earn the money for everything, that will stop this mess.

I think my IQ is dropping. I love this show way too much.

[HorrrGoodnight]

Still watching but I gotta say:

Marine Man and his car do NOT match!

Caitlyn's dramatics are too rich for my blood. I can't take the level 10 panic attacks over every small inconvenience nor can I withstand her nearly passing out at the sight of recovering meth addict like she's at a Michael Jackson concert circa 1985. Hes headed for relapse, talking about "towing the line" and "finding a balance" like hes just gonna tweak a little bit this time.

 

Megan scares me. She's allllll in and may go Waiting to Exhale on prison polygamist. Baby Mama oops I mean Wifey will be ok once he explains it away. Hes had enough time to formulate his exit strategy/cheating explanations.

I felt really bad for whatshisname with the hare teeth. He seemed genuinely hurt and Lizzie is the ultimate bitch. She doesn't realize that her sugar baby expiration date has long passed. 

Back to watching

[cooksdelight]

2 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Angela and Tony: where are they?!

I’m thinking they don’t have much of a storyline. They didn’t last season, unless you count waiting at a Greyhound bus station all day as entertainment.

[Hannah94]

I caught this episode on demand. What is with the commercials? So far, there is about 25-30 seconds of show time and then 4 minutes of commercials, followed by another 25-30 seconds of show time, followed by 4 minutes of commericals. Repeat, repeat. Wtf.

[Marsupial]

Quote

 

Clint is mentally slow. Facts. I'm worried. Please for the love of everything, let him already have had a vasectomy. 

Where is Angela??? I'm dying to see Tony! 

 

 

I KNOW! Why is this show not two hours long??? WHERE are Angela and Tony??? And I am thinking the three-way prison baby mama show is NOT over. No, not this easily.

Megan: Take this as a SIGN from a loving God. Get back home, cut off all contact with that two-timing loser and write this off as a hard-earned lesson. Telling you not to show up was the best thing this guy ever did or ever will do for you. 

Quote

 

Scott, bless his heart.

Clint, for heaven's sake mom, if you don't agree with this mess, why fund the whole trip? Let him earn the money for everything, that will stop this mess.

 

Yeah, no wonder Clint is such a useless man-child. There's being "supportive" and there's being an enabler of your idiot son's idiot ideas.

Best line of the show: Mrs. Michael's Baby Mama saying that she could not imagine anyone who could be a better father for her daughter. Girl, please expand your imagination a little. At this point, Toothless Meth Freak or Clint are probably better options than him.

Marcellino: You are a creepy control freak and your prison squeeze doesn't like you.

Scott: You are a useless, sad sack of a nutless wonder and your prison bitch doesn't like you.

Edited December 22, 2018 by Marsupial

[Marsupial]

Quote

She seems like the type who will end up stripping and then hooking (to support a drug habit) and she'll wind up in prison herself.

Yes. I think that's the perfect trajectory of her life. She just doesn't seem to have an ounce of self-agency.

Quote

They didn’t last season, unless you count waiting at a Greyhound bus station all day as entertainment.

But they have a wedding coming up!

[Kangatush]

3 hours ago, Drogo said:

Why is the airport ladies room a "Severe Weather Area"...?

In case of severe weather, like a tornado, the bathroom is a safe place to be.  No windows, solid construction...  toilets to keep your pants clean from fear poops...

[Kangatush]

I adore that Matt comes across as the smart, rational, sane one in that couple.  She's a mess.  And sure as crap not going to be doing him any favors in staying clean.

Dear Megan, WTF?  He says don't come and you just take it?  No follow up questions, like what are these other plans?  He sounded like his reasons were he needed to do some errands.  I would have gone anyways.  I'm not going to eat the airfare and cost of the hotel room I'm sure she had booked.

I like Sarah more, but she's still a moron.  "I'm sure he won't cheat.  Again."  What makes you so certain?  I thought my dad was a great dad, but apparently he would have been even better if he'd missed my first few years of life by being in prison. 

And I have logistic questions.  He's in Michigan.  Sarah lives in NY.  Where is he doing his parole?  Is Megan going to move to whatever state he's in?

I'm no Lizzie fan, but again, she's the saner one.  Scott, the woman tackled you and now you're sad she's not holding your hand constantly?  She seems to be acting pretty normally for a woman fresh out of prison with her daughter, and camera crew, around.  

[TeapotWakeen]

Scott, if you "just want someone to love you" then, seriously dude, shower more often. Ask out a woman who doesn't look like 10 pounds of boobage in a 5 pound bra. Learn to get some self-esteem -- you're not a bad looking dude. Regular hygiene and some therapy, and you could even be "a catch." But you gotta address the self-esteem and look to the "nice ladies" who don't abuse you for their own entertainment. There's plenty of us out here. But at the over-40 age, we're not as likely to settle damaged guys the way so many of us did in our 20s.

[cooksdelight]

5 hours ago, Kangatush said:

And I have logistic questions.  He's in Michigan.  Sarah lives in NY.  Where is he doing his parole?  Is Megan going to move to whatever state he's in?

Since they are married, I am guessing he can do parole where she lives. She is considered next-of-kin, and they have a daughter.

[Reality police]

7 hours ago, Kangatush said:

I adore that Matt comes across as the smart, rational, sane one in that couple.  She's a mess.  And sure as crap not going to be doing him any favors in staying clean.

Dear Megan, WTF?  He says don't come and you just take it?  No follow up questions, like what are these other plans?  He sounded like his reasons were he needed to do some errands.  I would have gone anyways.  I'm not going to eat the airfare and cost of the hotel room I'm sure she had booked.

I like Sarah more, but she's still a moron.  "I'm sure he won't cheat.  Again."  What makes you so certain?  I thought my dad was a great dad, but apparently he would have been even better if he'd missed my first few years of life by being in prison. 

And I have logistic questions.  He's in Michigan.  Sarah lives in NY.  Where is he doing his parole?  Is Megan going to move to whatever state he's in?

I'm no Lizzie fan, but again, she's the saner one.  Scott, the woman tackled you and now you're sad she's not holding your hand constantly?  She seems to be acting pretty normally for a woman fresh out of prison with her daughter, and camera crew, around.  

If I remember correctly he is from NY and will be doing his parole there. Don't know how he ended up in Michigan .

[Reality police]

Marine man trying to do donuts in his Kia Soul made my night. What a dufous. 

[vintagesac]

Caitlin and her mouth of mystery look like some kind of hand puppet. Remember Lambchop and how his mouth moved when he was excited? Lol. 

I feel so bad for slow Clint that I can’t really watch his scenes.

Scott seems like a needy mess. I’m positive there are many addiction issues for him as well. He looks like he and his toof just escaped a sober-living facility.

Marcellino and Brittany May work out, if he gives her space.

i can’t stand Megan. She needs to have her brother drive her back home. I’d be so mad that I would never speak to Michael again. 

Why do I love this stupid show so much?

[hookedontv]

7 minutes ago, vintagesac said:

Caitlin and her mouth of mystery look like some kind of hand puppet. Remember Lambchop and how his mouth moved when he was excited? Lol. 

Perfect description!

[Kangatush]

12 minutes ago, vintagesac said:

Why do I love this stupid show so much?

Because it's really fun to watch idiots make spectacularly idiotic decisions.  Makes you feel good about your own life.  

32 minutes ago, Reality police said:

If I remember correctly he is from NY and will be doing his parole there. Don't know how he ended up in Michigan .

It's not uncommon for prisoners to be shuffled around.  Sometimes it's a space issue, sometimes a prisoner had problems and needs to be moved for safety issues.

[sempervivum]

I really liked Brittaney- she was articulate and calm and self aware enough to want to celebrate her freedom by just sitting in the desert listening to the wind and the birds. Instead of, you know,  skipping around like a 5 year old and spending somebody else's $300 on junk food and lottery tickets.

Scott is easily discouraged; makes a difference when your 'love' isn't confined and limited to only your company, right? I think he's seeing that Lizzie will prance around in her industrial-strength swimsuit until somebody better-looking/with more $ to offer notices her. She was pretty much ignoring poor sad Jasmine, too.

12 hours ago, Cammi said:

Matt and Caitlyn will be doing meth together on the ride home. Does she have a baby? What was with the baby footprints tattoo on her back?

Yeah, I said several episodes back that her wrinkly stomach suggested either weight loss or a birth.  She's another one with the emotional maturity of a 5 year old. And talk about desparate- pulling Matt's jeans down to check his equipment??? 

It looks like 'two girls and a creep' is winding down. I don't see any way Mike has the resources to keep Megan on the string. If Megan had any sense, she'd pay for her hulking ENORMOUS brother to come with her to scare the crap out of that little weasel. 

Since we already know from previews that Clint will probably not be united/happy with Alla, I don't find his situation very interesting at this point. I feel for his mom but I also hope this will be the last chance she gives his dumb ass.

I am quite curious about Angela and Tony- they're the only couple we haven't seen (except in teasers), I think the show is saving the best for last/ (hope)

(OT, but I'm definitely watching Extreme Love for the guy funnel-feeding his gargantuan girlfriend- this is exactly what I've imagined happens with the some of the 600 Lb. Life subjects)

[usernameG]

Lizzie bouncing around and behaving likes she has been living in a bunker for years and never seen a store is killing me. Scott is just an idiot. 

That red headed girl is going to age FAST. 

[Spike]

14 hours ago, Drogo said:

Why is the airport ladies room a "Severe Weather Area"...?

Well there are shit storms.

[Azanscrazyhair]

15 hours ago, Drogo said:

Why is the airport ladies room a "Severe Weather Area"...?

Texas has terrible storms I think Dallas is considered part of Tornado Alley.  All the restrooms are interior, no windows.

[cooksdelight]

3 hours ago, Reality police said:

Don't know how he ended up in Michigan .

They put people in out-of-state prisons all the time. Often, it’s because they committed the crime in that state. Wasn’t his for parole violation? If he was supposed to stay in NY, and left and got caught speeding or something, that would do it.

[SevenCostanza]

3 hours ago, sempervivum said:

She was pretty much ignoring poor sad Jasmine, too.

I feel bad for her. Lizzie has never thought of anyone but herself, she has no idea how to be a mother.  I hope Jasmine has some other family members that support her, and who she can go back to when her mother either goes back to jail or runs off with another sugar daddy.

[LilaFowler]

There's a deleted scene on the show's website in which Megan tells her friends that she's planning to move to NY to be with Michael, since that is where he's being paroled.

http://www.wetv.com/shows/love-after-lockup/videos/season-02/episode-01-the-virgin-the-trick/megan-breaks-the-news-that-shocks-her-friends-to-their-core

[OldButHappy]

13 hours ago, Hannah94 said:

 

I caught this episode on demand. What is with the commercials? So far, there is about 25-30 seconds of show time and then 4 minutes of commercials, followed by another 25-30 seconds of show time, followed by 4 minutes of commericals. Repeat, repeat. Wtf.

 

Seriously.  I stopped watching halfway through the show.

[JenE4]

I feel really cheated that we didn’t get a scene of the virgin and the wife standing side-by-side outside the prison getting increasingly suspicious that the other is also traveling with camera crew. I know producer involvement in reality shows may vary, but how someone in the crew isn’t insisting the virgin get on that plane is beyond me. I’m still holding out hope, there! A storm’s a-brewin’ in that ladies’ room!

i am also very much looking forward to the twice-divorced, apparently mentally challenged or developmentally stunted mama’s boy to get married the NEXT DAY to someone he has NEVER seen in person!! What could go wrong?!?!

Scott gave Lizzie $90,000, is buying a house with a pool for her, etc., but it’s the cooler full of snacks that finally tipped him off she’s just using him for his money?? That $30 scratcher put it over the edge.

Wow, the red-headed girl was losing her damn mind. I hope she calms down a bit, or her man might want to go back to prison just to get a break from her. Then again, it seems like a foregone conclusion he’s going back—I’ll try to toe the line...buuuut, we’ve seen how that’s worked out so far! When we last saw them, he was pissed that the girl MET his mom. Does he know yet that the girlfriend is LIVING with him and his mom?!?!

I think the marine and the blonde parolee miiight actually love each other??? I’m not entirely sure there. But they seem the most likely to have a normal relationship. He seems clingy (not letting her breathe a few minutes alone) and what the hell with making her give the finger to the prison?!? But she seemed like she actually liked kissing him, and she seems ready and eager to live on the up and up. I mean, the crazy redheaded couple are waaaaaay all over each other, too, but that one seems most likely to end in a murder-suicide or double overdose or something. 

[Marsupial]

n which

Quote

Megan tells her friends that she's planning to move to NY to be with Michael, since that is where he's being paroled.

Oh good God, I hope this was before the last-minute "don't come" plan. Megan, GO HOME. Forget this guy. The best thing she could do is eat the cost of her trip and never speak to him again. Seriously, just get out.

 

Quote

OT, but I'm definitely watching Extreme Love for the guy funnel-feeding his gargantuan girlfriend

Oh, me too, and the guy who's cheating on his 91-year-old girlfriend with a 68-year-old. Mr. Marsupial is younger than me and he needs to know that I can still trade his young ass in when I'm 91.  

I didn't think anything could fill the void left by Rock of Love, but these two shows are really stepping up to the plate.

[sasha206]

13 minutes ago, JenE4 said:

 

Wow, the red-headed girl was losing her damn mind. I hope she calms down a bit, or her man might want to go back to prison just to get a break from her. Then again, it seems like a foregone conclusion he’s going back—I’ll try to toe the line...buuuut, we’ve seen how that’s worked out so far! When we last saw them, he was pissed that the girl MET his mom. Does he know yet that the girlfriend is LIVING with him and his mom?!?!

I suspect the two of them will be sharing each other's meth soon.

Wow, these women and men falling for inmates make the 90 day Fiance folks look less dumb.

[zillabreeze]

1 hour ago, JenE4 said:

but it’s the cooler full of snacks that finally tipped him off she’s just using him for his money?? That $30 scratcher put it over the edge.

I'm such tightwad.  All I could think was "jeez, go to Aldi's, WinCo or Dollar Tree, that same money would get you a semi-truck full of junk food".

Slight OT, but I have more than once witnessed someone putting $3 gas in a barely running car and buying $20 worth of scratchers in the same transaction.

There's a mindset that keeps poor people poor.  Or incarcerated for bad checks.

[usernameG]

I really don't understand why Lizzie and Scott behave like their 19 year-old children are still kids. How they talk about them living with them like a family, taking them swimming at the hotel pooll etc is so weird to me.

Edited December 22, 2018 by usernameG

[Palomar]

Lizzie is one hard woman.  She will turn her back on Scott in an instant once she finds out he has no money and her daughter too if she has an offer from someone else who DOES have money.  He is realizing all of this because she isn't holding his hand or showing him any affection.  He has been living in a dream world. Scott's son has always known all this.

[Marsupial]

I have stopped feeling sorry for Scott because he had so many people warning him against getting involved with her. He even had some questions himself, wondering at one point if he wasn't just her "biggest trick." Yeah, you are probably the only one who bought a house for her and allowed her to demand a pool and an extra bedroom so she wouldn't have to have sex with you. But she will dump you the minute she finds an even bigger fool. He says he wants someone to love him, but if that were true, he wouldn't be looking up incarcerated women. He'd be trying to find a nice, normal woman who would appreciate what he has to offer.

Quote

I'm such tightwad.  All I could think was "jeez, go to Aldi's, WinCo or Dollar Tree, that same money would get you a semi-truck full of junk food".

LOL me too!! 

[Reality police]

Has Scott actually bought a house yet? The one he was looking at wasn't up to her standards. 

[configdotsys]

This show is too thin on content. There are too many couples for an hour long show and too much wasted filler. What they are showing us is poorly selected. We’re getting more from some couples than others and instead of anticipation, I’m feeling irritated at how the content is being doled out.  The venue/salad lady wasn't in the show this week or the scenes for next week.

Still getting a controlling, scary vibe from Marcellino.

Lizzie is just absolute trash and a slurring psycho, but I have zero sympathy for Scott. If he is just realizing now that he’s been used then he’s an idiot. 

Caitlin: Not seeing this working out well. She’s so clingy and emotional. And he’s angry dude.

The virgin gal should have realized that she was being played when she got that call and told him to fuck off.

Slow Clint is just slow. Zero interest in his story.

[zillabreeze]

1 hour ago, Palomar said:

she has an offer from someone else who DOES have money.

That's a stretch.  Judging from her delusion of shoving herself into that swimsuit...I suspect Ms. Lizzie has a mindseye pic of herself when she WENT into the clink.

She is now "rode hard and hung up wet". Hardly a candidate for the local trust fund boy looking for a trophy wife.  That ship has sailed.  

[vintagesac]

I think Lizzie is still very attractive. A few months without prison nachos and she could get back in shape.

[Hannah94]

8 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Because it's really fun to watch idiots make spectacularly idiotic decisions.  Makes you feel good about your own life.  

So true.

[SevenCostanza]

47 minutes ago, configdotsys said:

I’m feeling irritated at how the content is being doled out.  The venue/salad lady wasn't in the show this week or the scenes for next week.

I have a feeling the threesome storyline isn't going to last much longer and when it ends they'll bring in Angela the venue/salad lady.   I'm guessing her story doesn't have that much content either so that's why we haven't seen too much of her.

[Soobs]

3 hours ago, zillabreeze said:

I'm such tightwad.  All I could think was "jeez, go to Aldi's, WinCo or Dollar Tree, that same money would get you a semi-truck full of junk food".

Slight OT, but I have more than once witnessed someone putting $3 gas in a barely running car and buying $20 worth of scratchers in the same transaction.

There's a mindset that keeps poor people poor.  Or incarcerated for bad checks.

There's studies that show that poor decision making has a link to trauma. I almost wish we got back stories on all these people like on Intervention but the show would probably be less fun to watch.

The not-convict side of the relationship people are the neediest people I've ever seen. Give the woman who wants to spend two seconds in the desert alone some space, jeez! And the redheaded woman who demanded to see the guys' dick right away. Like, what if she didn't like what she saw? When she was having her meltdown I was hoping the prison van would keep doing circles just to mess with her.

Edited December 23, 2018 by Soobs

[Reality police]

9 hours ago, Kangatush said:

Because it's really fun to watch idiots make spectacularly idiotic decisions.  Makes you feel good about your own life.  

 

That's the same reason I watch Hoarders periodically. It either spurs me on to clear out some stuff or makes me feel good that I can see my furniture and floors. 

[annewithaneee]

I'm starting to ship Lizzie's daughter and Scott's son (Adam and Jasmine? Am I making that up?). They both need to back far, far away from their dumpster fire parents, why not do it together?!

[cooksdelight]

There is more spoiler type stuff in the couples’ threads. I sort of feel sorry for Megan if when filming this she was clueless.... and production knew it .....

[Hannah94]

54 minutes ago, cooksdelight said:

There is more spoiler type stuff in the couples’ threads. I sort of feel sorry for Megan if when filming this she was clueless.... and production knew it .....

I don't feel sorry for her at all. She went to a prison inmate website for "love". That is the first clue that she is a couple crayons short of a box. Plus there is NO way production could pull this off without all parties knowing. Michael, the inmate, had to give his permission for his phone calls and visits - with BOTH WOMEN - to be used on the show, so that right there shows you no one was clueless. How did production get ahold of this show? All three parties had to be involved from the get-go.