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Dirty Quotes

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John: I'm here for Debra.
Veronica: Are you delivering a package?
John: No, I'm John.
Veronica: Oh.
John: This is a really nice place.
Veronica: Yeah, it's like that on purpose.

John: I'm underdressed. 
Debra: Oh, no. We're in California. If you've got a shirt and shoes, you're ahead of the game.

Debra: [William Morris] says, "Don't ever let your houses have anything that you don't know to be useful or believe to be beautiful."

John: I read this thing. That the number one predictor of divorce is eye rolling. If I'd have known that when I met her, I would have been out ahead of all of it.

Debra: Ronnie thinks that John is creepy and a bad dresser, might be a gold digger. What about Nathan? You definitely thought Nathan was a bad dresser and you thought he was with me for my money even though he had his own law firm.
Veronica: Mom, it is actually possible that there is more than one creep on the planet at the same time.

Terra: I still don't get why you keep them in a safe though. 
Veronica: Because they're valuable. 
Terra: They're purses.
Veronica: Yeah, and if you take really good care of them, you can resell them on consignment for exactly what you bought them for.
Terra: Well, why don't you just be careful with them?

Gram: He's wearing pajamas. I mean, sweatpants are pajamas.

  • Love 1
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John: New recipe - experiment. Orange, mango, carrot, ginger - and vodka. Kale, pineapple, wheatgerm, with a touch of turmeric. Strawberry, banana, and spirulina. Blueberry, blackberry, strawberry, and another kind of berry.

Veronica: Some private investigators give an initial consultation for free.
PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: That's true. I don't do that.
Veronica: Does a free consultation mean they're not legit?

PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: I like the tassels on your bag. Kind of like fringe, but not.

Debra: I know you have your two drawers.
John: Here we go.
Debra: Well, as a designer of interiors, it physically pains me that I can't introduce you to some better organizational system.

John: Why do they even bother with catalogs in this day of online shopping?
Debra: Because I like to look at the pictures in the bathtub while I'm having my feet rubbed.

Veronica: I have a silver Chanel milk carton bag.
Casey: No, you don't.
Veronica: Oh, but I do. Quilted sides, palladium hardware, authenticity card, booklet, gift bag, and dust bag, and it's in pristine condition.
Casey: We'll buy it.
Veronica: Yeah, you will. And I'll tell you for exactly how much.

Toby: Maybe [John] said a messed up thing but he might just be a messed up guy.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
  • Love 2
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Veronica: So where did [John] go when he got out [of jail]? Where was he living?
PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: I haven't found any fixed address for him in that time frame yet.
Veronica: So when I told my mom I thought he looked homeless, maybe he actually was homeless?

PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: [Debra should get] different clothes, ones that blend in more.
Veronica: Uh, her clothes do blend in in Orange County. It's yours that stand out.
PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: Snap.

  • Love 4
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16 hours ago, ElectricBoogaloo said:

Veronica: So where did [John] go when he got out [of jail]? Where was he living?
PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: I haven't found any fixed address for him in that time frame yet.
Veronica: So when I told my mom I thought he looked homeless, maybe he actually was homeless?

PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: [Debra should get] different clothes, ones that blend in more.
Veronica: Uh, her clothes do blend in in Orange County. It's yours that stand out.
PI formerly known as Nurse Carla: Snap.

I live in Orange County.  Maybe her clothes don't stand out in Newport Beach or Balboa, but most of us are pretty normal.  :)

  • Love 3
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  • 2 weeks later...

Doctor: I see a lot of people loved ones who have that look you have, that thousand yard stare. You've been through the ringer and now he's saying he's ready to change and you don't know how to feel - confusion, anger, uncertainty, doubt. None of those are wrong. And you don't have to stop feeling them to help him do this. You're allowed. And you're also allowed to not help him at all.

Denise: What about school?
John's dad: School's for dummies.

Terra: Do you remember Justin?
Debra: Justin who hit you with his car, Justin?
Terra: Yeah, well, it wasn't on purpose. He was high.

Veronica: You and Mom, you guys have the biggest hearts for the smallest of things. Sometimes I wish I was more like you guys. But I'm not.

Veronica: Are you really going to act like you didn't think this was gonna be a thing?
Debra: Why would it be a thing, Veronica?
Veronica: John, Mom.
Trey: Look, Mom, obviously we don't know what's really going on between you and John and you're an adult. You should live your own life. But I'm an adult too. And I'm not going to lie to my wife or my kids in my own house.
Debra: Oh, I would never want you to lie.
Trey: Well, pretending I don't know about John, what he's done, the things he's said, that's lying, Mom. That's lying by pretending I'm okay with it. I'm not. 
Debra: Oh, I know. I wouldn't want you to pretend. I really, I just, I really do want to talk to you about it.
Veronica: No, you don't want to talk about it, Mom. You want to do whatever you want to do.
Debra: That's not true, Veronica.
Veronica: And then you just want to come here and have, like, sangria with everyone and act like nothing is going on, like no one did whatever they could to help you get away from this guy and that you're just right back with him. 
Debra: I'm not right back with him. 
Veronica: Yes, you are. 
Debra: No, I'm not, Veronica. 
Veronica: Are you talking to him? Are you seeing him? Are you paying for him? Are you defending him?
Debra: I'm not defending him.

  • Love 1
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Dave: I'm thinking Sunday. I'm thinking brats on the grill right around the game time start, say at 1:30.
Dennis: David, David, you work cases, right? You analyze character, predict behavior, right? Why is this not going to happen?
Dave: I don't know.
Dennis: Your wife hates my wife.
Dave: Oh, come on, that's not true.
Dennis: The feeling is enthusiastically mutual.
Dave: Yeah, I know. What the hell's the deal with that anyway?
Dennis: It all began one winter evening lo these many months ago with an argument over whether a certain skirt was purchased on sale.

Dennis: A lot of people knew something was up with John Meehan. The bad news is a lot of other people apparently kind of decided it wasn't their problem.

  • Love 3
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Waitress: You were here the last time I was working too.
John: I like tacos.
Waitress: Maybe that's what's funny cause the tacos here kind of suck.
John: Maybe I like things that suck.
Waitress: Maybe I should get you a bunch more tacos then.

Man: What's this nurse's name again? She's my favorite. Mandy? Mindy?
John: You're so close. Siobhan.

Dealer: You know how this stuff works?
John: I'm a doctor.
Dealer: Okay, cool. Well, maybe next time you can just prescribe it to yourself.

Edited by ElectricBoogaloo
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Cop at impound lot: This is an RV that's been impounded for 16 months.

John:  Yeah

Cop: Wonder what you could've been up to for all that time. Lemme guess- you were a guest of the state.

John: Wonder what you did to get a sweet gig like this. Shoot a taxpayer in the back? 

Cop:  I will try my very best to find out where your crap box is right now. Have a seat sir.

  • Love 4
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Veronica: Hey, listen, if you're not going to be a dick about waiting with me then I will let you tell me your top five favorite chill wave albums. And you can tell me why you love each one so much.
Max: Ten favorites and I get to play you tracks to illustrate why.
[Veronica makes loud puking noise]

Veronica: I just think it's funny.
Debra: Oh, it's not.
Veronica: All that time, all that effort, and all those hospital resources to help keep [John] alive so they can harvest his organs and then they get in there finally and his organs are totally destroyed from all of those drugs.
[Arlane gives Veronica a look]
Veronica: Oh, whatever. It's really funny. Even his organs suck.

  • Love 3
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  • 11 months later...
  • 5 months later...

Mr. Katimski: My primary work is in the treatment of families and couples. As one of my specialties within couples therapy is the study of infidelity and its impact. In a marriage, under that marital contract, people rely on each other. They feel safe with one another, but that safety carries a price. When you have complete faith, vulnerability means what occurs with the loss of that faith - the separation from any sense of the realities of one's life. During this period, the victim feels upended. She is getting information she does not want to believe, that what the infidel says is untrue and so she is very torn. Frequently during this time, the behavior of the infidel makes the victim feel crazy. And the infidel will tell her there's nothing wrong. She's crazy to be thinking that, that she is crazy. Gaslighting - it's named after a famous motion picture in which a man who wants something from a woman pretends to be her friend, marries her, but in fact is her enemy and in the process, being very kind to his victim but in truth, in every moment he is undermining her sanity. The longer that the marriage goes on, the more at stake in it in terms of children, stability, its essential fabric. Everything is called into question: the victim's self esteem, their ability to trust themselves as far as whether they even were a good parent, a good person, or whether they can be. They begin to say, "If I couldn't judge this thing which was a part of my life every day for years, if I misread so many things, accepted to many lies, how can I believe that I know anything at all?" What is not understood is that the more the lying goes on, the more brainwashing, as someone is told over and over something is not true that is in fact true, the more pressure the victim is under. In my work, and I find this particularly important where there are children, the first thing I tell the couple is the object of this therapy is a better marriage or a better divorce. And to achieve that, the first thing that has to happen is the infidel has to be willing to both admit and express remorse, to say, "I have deeply hurt you. I have lied. I admit it. I am sorry." Those are the necessary conditions for change. In their absence, you just add to the pressure cooker. But unless something is extended to the victim that says, "You are not crazy. This has happened. You are not wrong to have these feelings of absolute unsupport, self hatred, anger toward everyone, but here they are. Let's go on." As long as there is no resolution for the victim at all, healing does not take place. All she thought she knew is being called into question. What that tends to create in the victim is a tremendous sense of unreality about her very being, when, particularly over the course of a protracted infidelity, every day is filled with lies. What the person wants more than anything else is to be relieved of this pain and this burden. Anything that will begin that process is going to be a relief, no matter how painful it is. It is going to be as if that spout on the pressure cooker is finally open and the steam can get out. Too often the infidel will run further and further away as the person presses to gain that release, and of course that just increases the victim's pain and confusion and anger, making them feel their life has become a mockery, that they barely exist. A pressure cooker must have some type of release. In fact, that was the problem. They were taken off the market - pressure cookers. Eventually, they tended to explode.

Karen: She was a total megabitch last night, even worse than usual. I mean, telling Karen it was her fault for abandoning Chip?
Janet: And what about Abby? I mean, she's just going to let Diana stay with them and not even ask her about Chip being a murderer?
Evelyn: Why are we always talking about Knots Landing?
Karen: If you watched it, you would know.
Evelyn: I wish I cared about anything as much as they care about that show.
Karen: We care about you almost as much.

Betty: I think Dan's banging his assistant.
Janet: We all know Dan. Dan isn't like that.
Betty: Nobody's like that until they are.

Karen: Compared to yours, my situation was simple. Frank lived in terror of getting caught, which is probably why I caught him. I kicked him out and he was never good at being a bachelor before we got married so he begged to come back and I let him and then he bought me a Porsche.
Betty: An American fairy tale.


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  • 2 weeks later...

Sid: There might be some people who could think your situation's not all that bad.
Betty: Didn't I meet you in jail?

Betty: If Dan had defrauded a business partner the way he did me when he broke our contract, he'd be the one in jail, not me.

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  • 2 weeks later...

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