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Celebrating 1,000 NCIS-franchise episodes

What Tales From History Would You Like To See?

David T. Cole

By David T. Cole
in Drunk History [V]

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possibilities

possibilities

Triangle Shirtwaist Factory Fire

 

Haymarket Rebelllion

 

Margaret Sanger campaign for contraception

 

Emma Goldman biography

 

Astronauts land on moon (and botch the soundbite)

 

Challenger explosion

 

Sojourner Truth gives "Ain't I A Woman" speech at Seneca Falls Conference (or anything about that historic convention)

 

Supreme Court Bush V Gore

 

Monica Lewinsky scandal/Clinton Impeachment (maybe do all the impeachments in one episode, to compare-- there've been 3, and they all failed, which I think is fascinating and funny in itself-- and then if you look at the actual grounds in each case? sounds like drunk history even if you read it sober)

 

Abortion History (Roe v Wade, passing the Hyde Amendment, "no more coat hangers" campaign, RU486 debates, etc)

 

Jackie Robinson and integration of baseball (did they already do this one?)

 

Cassius Clay/Mohammed Ali tosses medal

 

Munich Olympics

 

Passage/Repeal of Prohibition Amendment (did they already do one about Prohibition, or did I just see something funny about that elsewhere?)

 

Puritans, Mormons, Quakers, Shakers, and other iconic American religious movements (I in no way mean to imply these are all equally amusing or exclusive to the USA but all of them are significant in terms of US history in either their presence or their development).

 

Love Canal (or any major pollution/anti-pollution event, like rivers that caught on fire, founding of EPA and Earth Day, or campaign to save nearly-extinct bald eagles)

 

Story of Fannie Lou Hamer and the Dem Convention of 64 (or any other crazy convention)

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bosawks

bosawks

(edited)

The Pentagon Papers, The Boston Tea Party and Three Mile Island.

 

And you know if they did Chappaquiddick it would be all sorts of wrong and awesome.

 

So many possibilities to play drunk frat-boy Teddy.

Edited by bosawks
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JTMacc99

JTMacc99

I would love to see the story of the Brooklyn Bridge. It's got all sorts of fun stuff. John Roebling, the designer, had his toes crushed and then amputated by a barge when doing a survey of the site. He died from tetnus about three weeks later (mostly because he decided to skip normal treatment for some sort of running water over the wound method.) His son, who he had just put in charge of the project before the accident, suffered from crippling decompression sickness (the bends from going down to the bottom of the river where they were going to put the foundation) shortly after the start of the project and had to supervise most of it from his home with his wife writing things down and communicating for him. Many workers also suffered the same fate from the bends.

 

Six days after it opened somebody started a rumor it was going to collapse and whole bunch of people died in a stampede. Almost a full year after that, P.T. Barnum helped finally put an end to that rumor by marching his circus over the bridge including 21 elephants.

 

The whole thing is just made for Drunk History retelling.

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HelenBaby

HelenBaby

Since I live in Huntsville AL, I'd love to see them do a story about Werner Von Braun and how he brought a bunch of Germans to a farm town in North Alabama to start the space program. He's a hero around these parts.

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Bruinsfan

Bruinsfan

Carry Nation's crusade for temperance. When the actual source material has a Queen Victoria lookalike toting a hatchet and busting up bars, you know Drunk History would have a hilarious take on it!

 

The Boston Molasses Flood

 

The Richard Riot in Montreal

 

 

The battle at Appomattox Court House where Lee surrendered to Grant could be pretty funny meta since Grant was a drunk too. 

I can just see the narrator getting it mixed up with that episode of The Beverly Hillbillies where Granny thought Grant was still alive and joined the Battle of Culpeper Plantation!

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arachne

arachne

The shoot-out at OK Corral. Even sober people argue today about what exactly happened; imagine what a drunk re-enactment would be like. (Just don't give anyone real guns.)

 

The discovery of gold at Sutter's Mill in California, and the gold rush that followed.

 

The Lewis & Clark expedition. Actually, I could see a whole half-hour on that one.

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ganesh

ganesh

If not a half hour, Lewis and Clark would have to cover 2 segments at the least. I can't really think of anything obscure. Maybe Roger Williams getting thrown out of Massachusetts and founding Rhode Island? Because he was crazy.

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ParadoxLost

ParadoxLost

(edited)

How about Watergate/Nixon impeachment.  Young people don't know the story.

Didn't they do that in the series premiere?

 

How about the story of Robert Lincoln, Abraham Lincoln's son who

 

1) was saved from injury/death by falling from a train platform by Edwin Booth a couple years before Edwin's brother assassinated his father

2) declined an invitation to the theater where his father would be killed but was present at his deathbed

3) witnessed the shooting of President Garfield

4) Was at the event where President McKinley was shot

 

and noticing the pattern was said to have declined a future Presidential invitation with "No, I'm not going, and they'd better not ask me, because there is a certain fatality about presidential functions when I am present." 

Edited by ParadoxLost
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Dagny

Dagny

The Lewis & Clark expedition. Actually, I could see a whole half-hour on that one.

 

That was a funny episode.  They talked about the guys getting it on with the ladies, getting STDs and a remedy for STD/laxative was mercury laced pills which meant that people could track where the guys went by following the poo.

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possibilities

possibilities

Have they talked about the Lindbergh baby? Or Anita Bryant and Florida orange juice vs The Gay Menace? Or the internment of Japanese Americans? I especially can't think of any way to do that last one justice in this format, but it's a very important American history topic that I think gets far too little mention generally.

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Ananayel

Ananayel

I think the Lindbergh baby story is too tragic, but Lindbergh was kind of a whack job, and had a whole secret passel of kids with multiple German women, all while married to Anne, and was a white supremacist anti-semitic believer in eugenics. That would be a lot to cram in, so maybe stick with the multiple secret families angle.

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Bruinsfan

Bruinsfan

The life of Howard Hughes might be good fodder for an episode. The Spruce Goose alone would give a lot of opportunities for drunken amazement, nevermind dating half of Hollywood and the later reclusive stuff.

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Mindymoo

Mindymoo

Has there been an episode about Nikola Tesla, his perpetual fucking over by Edison and others, and all of the other details of this whacky genius's life? He was the greatest inventor of the first half of the 20th century and he died penniless. (And he was celibate his whole life and loved pigeons at the end.)

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Rinaldo

Rinaldo

I personally feel like they ought to stay away from any story that really doesn't have a lighter or funny side -- like the Lindbergh baby, or the internment of Japanese Americans. The point of the show is to make us laugh at the incongruity of how the historical figures are "talking," and I would feel horrible if I found myself laughing at such narratives. Although some of the ones they've done have dealt with serious or unjust events, it's been possible to get sardonic amusement from them or enjoy the eventual outcome. 

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GarageQueen

GarageQueen

@Mindy -- There is a Tesla episode from the original "Funny or Die" version. You can (legally!) find it on YouTube.

 

@Rinaldo -- I agree. A random shoot-out or duel is one thing, but they would have to be verrry skillful to make weightier issues 'entertaining.'

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ganesh

ganesh

 

Has there been an episode about Nikola Tesla, his perpetual fucking over by Edison and others, and all of the other details of this whacky genius's life?

This is also one of the best 'Epic Rap Battles of History.'

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possibilities

possibilities

I've been thinking about it, too, and I think it may be true that only potentially humorous stories could be told. The only thing i can think of that might change this would be if the drunkeness led to the narrators weeping or raging rather than just being silly. The booze leads to some emotionalism and inhibition-lowering, as well as confusion and mis-speaking. So potentially it could amount to the stories being told in a way that actually does them justice, rather than the dry "fact recounting" we get in most "sober documentaries." But it would definitely mean the show decided to mix up the format and not depend on comedy exclusively.

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Kat From Jersey

Kat From Jersey

 

From my neck of the woods, I can think of two that come immediately to mind: War of the Worlds (I live near Grover's Mill) and Washington Crossing the Delaware

 

Ooh, yeah!  Throw in a story about the Jersey Devil, and that would totally round out the episode!

 

I'm a freak for Revolutionary War history, so I'd second Washington crossing the Delaware.  Valley Forge would be interesting, too.

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Mindymoo

Mindymoo

Stacey, I would love some Canadian history. Canadian prohibition was a pretty interesting time, particularly because they were allowed to continue to manufacture booze for export. They could even tie that to American history and prohibition, due to all of the traffic going in and out of Windsor, Ontario to the Hiram Walker facility. (Which is a place I highly recommend anyone and everyone who has the chance to take a tour of- the building is beautiful, the history is fascinating, and there is a whisky tasting at the end!) My great grandmother and her sister used to run liquor from there down to Toledo, as despite their Polishness, they were gun molls for the Lebanese mob. Too bad Rob Ford wasn't mayor of Toronto 30 years ago, because that would be fun to drunkenly recreate.

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possibilities

possibilities

I didn't know about the Molasses Disaster, so I looked it up. I agree it would make a great Drunk History episode.

 

Chatty retelling:

 http://urbanlegends.about.com/od/historical/a/molasses_flood.htm

 

Photos:

http://www.bostonglobe.com/specials/2013/01/09/the-great-molasses-flood/heeUnfTFQWFHbNVpH5Vv0K/picture.html

 

Politics of the situation:

http://mentalfloss.com/article/27366/bostons-great-molasses-flood-1919

 

Science of the flood:

http://www.scientificamerican.com/article/molasses-flood-physics-science/?page=1

 

There have been a few cheese factories that caught on fire, as well. I think food-related calamities have an element of humor despite their tragic nature.

 

I would also like to know about the construction of the world's largest ball of twine; apparently it is a disputed matter.

 

...Francis began rolling a ball of twine in his basement 1950. Francis rolled twine four hours a day, every day. He eventually moved the ball onto his front lawn and used railroad jacks to ensure proper wrapping; Johnson cared as much about his ball's roundness as its diameter....
He died of emphysema, and the town figured that nearly thirty years of twine dust killed him.
It's known as "World's Largest Twine Ball Rolled By One Man" because a rival twine ball in Cawker City, Kansas, is regularly added-to by visitors and townspeople. [The town of] Darwin feels that this is cheating.

http://www.roadsideamerica.com/story/2128

 

More here: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Biggest_ball_of_twine

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Dagny

Dagny

Covering Guam may be a way out of Drunk History's range, but apparently when they celebrate "Discovery Day", its a hoot.

 

For those who aren’t familiar with the Discovery Day festivities, its highlight is a re-enactment of the arrival of Ferdinand Magellan in order to commemorate the “discovery” of Guam in 1521. If you have not been to a Discovery Day before I suggest you go just to witness the surreal nature of this re-enactment where Chamorro huts are burnt and Chamorros are killed by a guy in Spanish armor who usually arrives in Umatac Bay via a motorboat.

 

 

Magellan leaves Guam and then gets killed by the Filipinos.

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HalcyonDays

HalcyonDays

How about the fire at the White House? I don't know the specifics, but I bet there was a lot of political shenanigans about the rebuilding and surely there's a story in the fire itself.

 

Are you thinking of the War of 1812? I would love that. United Empire Loyalists (those living in the Canadian colonies) marched to Washington and burned the White House and the Capitol.

 

My great grandmother and her sister used to run liquor from there down to Toledo, as despite their Polishness, they were gun molls for the Lebanese mob. Too bad Rob Ford wasn't mayor of Toronto 30 years ago, because that would be fun to drunkenly recreate.

 

Mindy McIndy - your family history is just awesome! You need to write a book or movie on your great grandmother and her sister!

 

And I love the idea of Lee surrendering to Grant at Appottomex. Grant liked his whiskey and cigars.

 

Other suggestions:

 

- The Pony Express

- Landing at Plymouth Rock

- The Battle at Little Bighorn

- Roswell, New Mexico and Area 51

- The NASA space program - Apollo 11 or Apollo 13

- Shootout at the OK Corral

- Woodstock

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Ltg.jon

Ltg.jon

I'd love to see a Providence episode.  Between Roger Williams, Anne Hutchinson, and William Blaxton, you've got some great colonial history.  And then the Brown family in the later 18th century -- John Brown was the ringleader of a group that burned a British military vessel in 1772; Moses Brown hired Samuel Slater to build the first water-powered textile mill in the U.S., using designs Slater had memorized in England so he could illegally bring them to the U.S.; and Moses Brown lobbied for the law outlawing American participation in the slave trade, and then pushed for John Brown (his own brother!) to be the first person charged for violating that law.  And just think of what the show could do with the story of Buddy Cianci!

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Mindymoo

Mindymoo

Halcyon Days,

 

I really should. While my Great Grandma and Aunt Lulu are gone, as are my Aunt Lulu's children, my Busia is still alive and so are a lot of her niece and nephews, so I would love to get some of that written down. Grown men were afraid of those two. They were also dancers, and during a dance competition, some asshole tried to steal my Aunt Lulu's trophy. She ran him down an alley, beat the shit out of him, and took the trophy back. They don't make ladies like my Aunt Lulu anymore.

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HalcyonDays

HalcyonDays

Halcyon Days,

 

I really should. While my Great Grandma and Aunt Lulu are gone, as are my Aunt Lulu's children, my Busia is still alive and so are a lot of her niece and nephews, so I would love to get some of that written down. Grown men were afraid of those two. They were also dancers, and during a dance competition, some asshole tried to steal my Aunt Lulu's trophy. She ran him down an alley, beat the shit out of him, and took the trophy back. They don't make ladies like my Aunt Lulu anymore.

 

I'm really not joking - you need to write this down. And if you don't, then send me stories of your family history and I'll craft a story out of it!! *grin*

 

"She beat him with a trophy." Your Aunt Lulu and Great Grandma need to be featured/worshipped in a movie. Just awesome.

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Mindymoo

Mindymoo

Halcyon Days,

 

I do live one street over from my Busia, and she is as spry as ever, so I think I may make my way over to her house this week and start dredging some of this stuff up. She loves talking about that stuff, and how her mom turned out to be one butch feminist that men were afraid of even when she was in her 70s. Maybe I will even get her cherry bounce recipe.

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possibilities

possibilities

Are you thinking of the War of 1812?

That would be awesome for a drunk retelling, but I was actually thinking of the one in 1929. Apparently, there have been quite a few White House fires over the years. Maybe they could do an episode about all the fires, one after the next, but I actually think there might be too many for a single episode!

In modern times, fires break out roughly two times every decade at the White House. The last real bonfire was way back in 1929 on Christmas Eve, when the West Wing was gutted by a massive conflagration. President Herbert Hoover had to leave his Christmas party to oversee the removal of important papers from the Oval Office. (But the Marine Band played on, and the First lady kept the party going.)

http://content.time.com/time/nation/article/0,8599,1696435,00.html

More about 1929 here: http://www.statter911.com/2014/06/29/white-house-fire-film-dc-firefighters-handling-west-wing-fire-1929/

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Luckylyn

Luckylyn

Patton's decoy army so the Nazis would think D-Day was happening at the wrong location could be good.  

 

There was an actual US government program where they tried to train pigeons to carry bombs and blow up ships.

 

There was another program by the Russians I think where they tried to train dogs to carry bombs and blow up US tanks but the dogs kept blowing up Russian tanks instead.  Poor dogs.   The Russians trained the dogs on their own tanks which smelled differently from US tanks because they used different fuels.  So of course the dogs destroyed the tanks with scent they were trained with.

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