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Yolanda Hadid: My Love, My Lemons, My Lyme Disease.


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I would also be more inclined to keep her home, attending a local college instead of whether or not getting her an apartment over dorm life as reasonable punishment. There just seems to be some disconnect here IMHO.

This. My child would not be going to NYC if I had suspicions that she were abusing pills and alcohol. And it's really beyond suspicion at this point. I think Yolanda loves Bella - of course she does. She seems to be a decent mudder. She's making some mistakes, like any parent does. It's unfortunate that they have to be so publicized. The comment about Anwar was stupid, wrong and misplaced.

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Yeah, I didn't take it as "Your car is such a mess!" type thing. It was the combination of empty beer cans, bottles, pills and tampons, blood etc. The trash isn't just distasteful, it's part of a whole picture of someone self-destructive. The pills and the tampons seemed very much connected to me.

The pills, Adderall and Vyvanse are both used to treat ADHD and are never given together. They are either or meds only. Both are abused for quick and easy weight loss as both have the side effects of "loss of appetite, nausea, vomiting and are classified as addictive because they are amphetamines/stimulants and should never be taken with alcohol.

 

Vyvanase goes so far as to give this warning..."Vyvanse may cause serious side effects, including: •slowing of growth (height and weight) in children. Your child should have his or her height and weight checked often while taking Vyvanse. The doctor may stop treatment if a problem is found during these check-ups"

 

This is why the pills coupled with alcohol is so alarming and yes, her messy car may be a reflection of her state of mind but that could have been cause by the pills and the booze. I am not saying that Bella is an addict but that she decided to go into modeling, her use of these meds is a giant red flag. IMHO

Edited by WireWrap
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Several things bothered me bout that email. First, how in the fuckety fuck are we getting access to something so deeply personal? Was Yo hacked & she's not sayin'?

Man, Yo was laying a really heavy guilt trip on her. Gotta say, this kinda shit rarely works on a spoiled rotten teen. And Yo is speaking to her almost as if she's another adult & she's had years of experience (as Yo has) with dealing with her problems. She's a fuckin' kid, Yo! I'm not saying that excuses her behavior, but it should be taken into consideration by Yo as an explanation of why she's behaving as she is -- and that she has NO understanding of the severe consequences of her behavior & her choices.

Honestly, I'm really floored by Yo's extreme lack of compassion & understanding for Bella Why? Is it cuz, as others here have said, she isn't Gigi, her clear favorite, the perfect golden girl, "the better version of Yo"? Does Yo also describe Bella as the "better version of herself? Guess not, eh?

Why is Yo flinging so much anger & shame at Bella & not even for 1 moment considering she might be going thru some painful anguish? Why is she not expressing concern for her mental health & insisting she get professional help & recommend she go to a therapist immediately?

Yo seems more interested in shaming Bella & guilting her & punishing her than helping her. It all seems very sad. Sure, I'm surprised to hear bout this, but I don't know these fuckin' people. Why is Bella such a total stranger to Yo? Oh, I know teens can lead very very secretive lives, but still, Yo keeps goin' on bout that shit of her kids being better versions of her & now this. I suspect it's indicative how she lives a very self-absorbed life, which doesn't extend much beyond herself.

Sure, Yo is right that Bella is quite fortunate she's the daughter of an extremely wealthy man & she's seemingly set for life. And yet, at that lunch Yo had with Bella, I got the distinct impression this is a girl who desperately needs help. I could be wrong. It was just my gut instinct bout her. She was sullen & mostly quiet & clearly didn't wanna be on camera.

I said it earlier in this thread & I haven't changed my mind. Yo is making an extremely poor choice by having Bella on the show -- or by having her involved in any way at all with the show. This girl is troubled. Yo should keep her away.

Sheesh, Yo, be a compassionate mother. Get the hell out of your own ass for fuck's sake, for once in your fucking luxury life, Yo & get the girl professional help. Sounds like she needs it desperately. Why do ya need me to tell ya that, hun? Too busy catering to the king to notice your daughter's downward spiral? How sad. Daddy's money ain't gonna mean shit if she kills herself.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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I'm not sure that this email is real.  Why would Yolanda write Bella an email when Bella was in the house.  Yolanda stated she wrote to Bella on the way home from Europe but she didn't see the car until after she got back.  It doesn't make complete sense.  She also mentions vials of adderall and vyvanse.  If they weren't prescribed to her, she would have been arrested for that.

 

And who would release this to the press?  Bella?  A friend she showed it to?  And to a website called 'Blind Gossip'.  The person who supposedly had this could have done a lot better.  And if her license was suspended (which there isn't any verification of that I've seen), why no mention of that in the email?  But how would you like your brother to drive around in a car like that?  Huh?

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I'm not sure that this email is real.  Why would Yolanda write Bella an email when Bella was in the house.  Yolanda stated she wrote to Bella on the way home from Europe but she didn't see the car until after she got back.  It doesn't make complete sense.  She also mentions vials of adderall and vyvanse.  If they weren't prescribed to her, she would have been arrested for that.

 

And who would release this to the press?  Bella?  A friend she showed it to?  And to a website called 'Blind Gossip'.  The person who supposedly had this could have done a lot better.  And if her license was suspended (which there isn't any verification of that I've seen), why no mention of that in the email?  But how would you like your brother to drive around in a car like that?  Huh?

It is possible that Yolanda found it easier to communicate her feelings through an email than face to face or over the phone. She could have just as easily speak to Bella on the phone while she traveled back home.

 

The 2 meds Yolanda mentions in her email are not taken together, ever.

 

Who knows who released this email, it could have been Bella, a friend of hers or someone that hacked their account, it could also be a fake but I suspect that it is real.

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Well, unless Yo released this email, which she did write, to the press herself -- to further humiliate & punish Bella. And maybe to explain what was goin' on with Bella. And maybe to make Yo (in her mind) look good to the audience -- and hopefully give the impression she's a concerned, caring & involved mother.

Hmmm, except the big prob for Yo with this strategy is -- I come away with the exact opposite impression of her as a mother. I think she's cold, cruel, distant, uninvolved, uncaring, totally unsympathetic & without one bit of compassion in her. Blech, Yo, just blech.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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I'm not sure that this email is real. Why would Yolanda write Bella an email when Bella was in the house. Yolanda stated she wrote to Bella on the way home from Europe but she didn't see the car until after she got back. It doesn't make complete sense. She also mentions vials of adderall and vyvanse. If they weren't prescribed to her, she would have been arrested for that.

And who would release this to the press? Bella? A friend she showed it to? And to a website called 'Blind Gossip'. The person who supposedly had this could have done a lot better. And if her license was suspended (which there isn't any verification of that I've seen), why no mention of that in the email? But how would you like your brother to drive around in a car like that? Huh?

I was about to say the same thing. I don't think its real. Why would Yo write an email to Bella? Bella lives in her house and Yo doesn't seem scared of telling people (including her kids) what's on her mind. A DUI is very serious, but I'll reserve judgement until I know what exactly happened.

* if it were my kid I would hire a very good lawyer to see if her record could get expunged after a certain amount of probation, said lawyer would be paid for by selling the kids car and their next car would be a bus pass. LA Metro, Bella! Learn it, live it, love it.

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This is a sad, painful e-mail that Yolanda sent Bella after the DUI. I find it even sadder because Yolanda seems more concerned that Bella's car was messy/filthy inside but not about finding booze cans/bottles and pill bottles in her car! SMH

 

http://allaboutthetea.com/2014/12/11/yolanda-foster-pleads-with-bella-to-change-her-life-after-dui-email-enclosed/

 

I am so sorry that I read that....and I am kind of angry at this website and the one they "borrowed" it from for making this public. 

While some of this sounded very superficial (there were a lot of "I's" and "me's" in the email), it also sounded like a mother who was unaware of her daughter's problems and was upset with both her daughter, herself and her role as a mother.

I don't know what is going on or was going on with Bella, but clearly, mixing pills and booze is not a smart thing, and I hope she has figured that out, either on her own, or with help.

Yolanda's "picture perfect" world seems to be just that - a perfect "picture", but not necessarily true one.  There is much, much more going on inside that lemon-scented mansion.

I also wonder what Mohammad had to say about all of this. 

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It's so sad, I really hope it is a fake.

Whether it's fake or not, Yo should just say it is to protect her daughter. Honestly, I'd have a lot more respect for her if she does that. OK, she's not Gigi. Sheesh, cut the girl a little slack, Yo. Be more concerned if she really is heading down a bad path & get her some help. The king can go fuck off. Concentrate on Bella's needs. Da girl needs your help, Yo. Don't ignore a serious cry for help from your daughter to go pick some lemons, slip on a teddy & cook a chicken for the king. Ugh.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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Well, unless Yo released this email, which she did write, to the press herself -- to further humiliate & punish Bella. And maybe to explain what was goin' on with Bella. And maybe to make Yo (in her mind) look good to the audience -- and hopefully give the impression she's a concerned, caring & involved mother.

Hmmm, except the big prob for Yo with this strategy is I come away with the exact opposite impression of her as a mother. I think she's cold, cruel, distant, uninvolved, uncaring, totally unsympathetic & without one bit of compassion in her. Blech, Yo, just blech.

I think Yolanda loves her kids but I also believe that she thinks they think like she does. She is raising them with less rules IMO, based on how she handled life at that age herself. Yolanda was living away from home by 14 and doing all the right things. She knew that her mother depended on her for money/support and she shouldered that responsibility with honor from all we know/have heard about her younger modeling life and I believe her on this. What Yolanda failed to recognize is that her children grew up in a much different way, privileged and being supported by both parents and they do not have the same life experience she had at their age. 

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I saw a comment on another site that summed it up after getting the phone call on the yacht- "If it had been Gigi, Yolanda would have swam home."

Then again, I'm sure perfect little Gigi would never do such a thing. Ya know, since she reminds Yolanda so much of herself.

She might want to be careful. The Lemon Queen might get a phone call about Gigi one day too. She's hanging with people like Cara D and Justin Bieber's crew. We know how that group rolls.

At first I thought it was Gigi that got the DUI. I don't pay attention to names of Yo's daughters too much but do remember one went away to NY for school & modeling (Gigi). After reading the posts, I realized it was the younger daughter Bella that got DUI.

I know we don't know why Bella has a suspended license but have details of DUI been said and I missed it? Was she in accident? Was she swerving & cop saw her? Was she at a sobriety check point?

Seeing Vincent Van Patten grown up brought back memories of my teenage years too. I did Google him to remember what shows he was on & didn't realize he was a tennis star, as Eileen mentioned. Somewhat of a coincidence - my teenage idol was Willie Aames, who played the son of Dick Van Patten on the show Eight is Enough. I thought Vincent was on the show but he wasn't. I got mixed up since Dick is Vincent's dad in real life.

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Well, unless Yo released this email, which she did write, to the press herself -- to further humiliate & punish Bella. And maybe to explain what was goin' on with Bella. And maybe to make Yo (in her mind) look good to the audience -- and hopefully give the impression she's a concerned, caring & involved mother.

Hmmm, except the big prob for Yo with this strategy is -- I come away with the exact opposite impression of her as a mother. I think she's cold, cruel, distant, uninvolved, uncaring, totally unsympathetic & without one bit of compassion in her. Blech, Yo, just blech.

 

 

I agree... I think Yolanda is a narcissist and a desperate one, has turned Gigi into her ideal self, and Bella has suffered from the implicit rejection and lack of real, compassionate mothering.  It makes sense that Yolanda was desperate on seeing Bella's car, but the right response has to include compassion:  darling, what is going on with you?  You are suffering, and I see it.  Instead, Yolanda does everything  but.  She focuses on everyone but Bella; she makes clear that she, Yolanda, is perfect, Bella is a disappointment (again), and that Bella should improve for the sake of her presumably still-perfect younger brother (which to me is a really bizarre guilt trip to put on Bella).  Bella needs to be loved for what she is, but over and over, Yolanda makes clear Gigi is daughter number one... so Bella acts out.  Bella knows she's the redheaded stepchild daughter, and not loved for what she is, since the only success Yolanda can envision is being a pretty pretty model.  Anything else makes Yolanda visibly uncomfortable.  Bella has been acting out her sense of alienation for a long time, it seems to me, but she's ramping it up now as she gets older.  I really feel for her.  

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I 'get' Yo writing that email.  We've got a great kid.  Never a lick of trouble.  Until he turned 14.  Even still, nothing major.  A mouthy mouth, grades slipping from A's to B's. One afternoon, I was feeling such frustration about his mouth, his grades, his room.  I took a moment from waxing poetic about my Housewives to dash off an email to further expound on our expectations of him.  I almost sent it but didn't want him to be distracted at school.  Instead, he read it when he got home.  And then I made him sign it. LOL  I wanted that email (document) as proof that he understood what I was feeling and acknowledgment of what we needed from him. 

 

That said, I'd shudder like a mudder if anyone read it other than my son, his dad or me.  It's awful that Yo's was leaked.  I believe it's real. I could hear her voice as I read it.  And also because I understand why she felt the need to email.  Although I think the content was all kinds of fucked up. Bringing Anwar into it was wrong.  I suspect Anwar has been brought up as a future King and being disappointed/embarrassed by girls, even if they're his sisters, is something not easily tolerated.

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I must call my mother ASAP today and tell her that her mothering skills suck big time.

 

She made me feel guilty all the time with no consideration of my traumas of being the middle child and that my sister was such a good girl. When I went to a prom "get together" where I knew there was going to be alcohol I lied to her and never told her because she would have said no, so I lied and went anyway, we got busted and taken to the police station, we were not falling drunk, just buzzed and being loud and obnoxious so one of the neighbors called the cops on us and we have to have our parents come to pick us up. My dad came for me, I knew I was in trouble as I know my mother so well that I knew she wasn't there for a good reason, my dad never said a word to me in the car, just looked at me and said "you have done it this time", I knew what he meant as in my house my mother was the disciplinarian, still when I got home nothing was said, I was sent to bed to sleep? do you think I was able to sleep? of course not, I was waiting for my mother to come and talk to me, but she didn't . I heard her crying in her room and that was ten million times worse, how could she do this to me? how dare she made me feel guilty? haven't I had enough? hadn't I have all the excuses just because I was the middle child? oh heck no, she was unrelentless in her guilt trip. The next day she didn't come to me in the morning, by this time I was sweating cold as I knew her well enough to know that the more time it passed it would be worse.

She finally came late in the afternoon, by this time I was fuming at her for giving me the silent treatment, again, how dare she? So when she started talking to me and horror making me feel guilty again I backtalked to her, then there it was, BAM, a slap across my face (the one and only I have even received, or at least the one I remember, she told me very clearly that I lived in her house and I had no rights, that if I didn't like it she will help me pack my bags and move me whereever I wanted to go but as long as I lived in her house I would followed her rules, she told me in no uncertain terms that I have embarrrased her for the last time (I know, I know, she is despicable) , she brought my whole family, siblings, grandparents, everybody into the equation, she told me that the next time I got drunk I got sure to provide the names and address of other people because neither my father nor she will ever go through the embarrasment again of having to pick up a daughter from the police station"  , looking at this posts I am thinking, what? how in the world did my parents didn't think about me and made it all about them? That is not fair, is it?

 

All I know is that day my mother looked at me directly in the eyes and told me "if you do this again, you will regret it" , no blinking, no pausing, just matter of fact.

 

I have never gotten drunk again, I have had a couple of cocktails here and there but now that I am finding out that I was entittled to sympathy and should have tell my mom that she was being selfish by making me feel guilty and that she was being a selfish mother I feel cheated. I feel cheated for allowing her to make me feel guilty and reminding me that my actions affect others beside me. I never wanted to be responsible for others (namely my siblings) and yet she was pulling all her cards with her "they look up to you", completely unfair I tell you.

 

I am glad I never read this posts before because when I was walking down the podium to receive my degree I could only think of how much I owed this to my mother who always kept me straight  despite her inflexible ways. Matter of fact I do think I will call her just to thank her for doing her job and for being a real mother to me.

Edited by Wendy
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As a mother to teens and early twenties - your heart is in your throat when shit like this happens. I totally hear Yolanda's desperation in that email. Her heart is breaking.  It's not a guilt trip only. She is questioning her own parenting.  She is worried for Bella's future. Her (Yolanda's) innocence is gone. Her beautiful child is no longer a child.  You don't get it until you live it. It's complicated.  She loves her kid, she just went through a huge scare of thinking that her kid could have died or killed someone.  And add on top of that, she has to come to terms with the fact that one of her kids is not so perfect, and not only not so perfect, but down right flawed and kind of seedy and maybe really on the path to self-destruction.  

 

She may sound harsh or all about Yolanda, but I think Yolanda's world just crashed around her head.  She just learned the hard truth that she can't control it. That despite doing everything "right" or so she thought, her kids are going to do fucked up shit.  And please, Gigi has looked pretty fucked up in some shots of her partying in Europe.  So she might be sending one of those emails to her pretty soon too.

 

It's heartbreaking, disappointing, maddening.  We know better as adults not to do this shit.  We have told our kids 5000 times not to drink and drive.  Not to do drugs.  We have shown them the reasons why.  Our kids are smart.  We are good parents.  We communicate.  We know what drugs are. We have good relationships with our kids. WHAAAT?  Our kids did WHAAT?  

 

The disillusionment is shocking.  I give Yolanda a pass on this.  She and Bella have come to terms with it based upon their twitter accounts with all the love that they are tweeting.  I hope Bella has moved on from the pills.  

Edited by jinjer
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There is no way Yo leaked that email. I am certain that was meant for Bella's eyes only. There are things you will say to your children that you would never ever want the world to know. I feel very sorry for Yo and Bella that this was leaked. It's like reading someone's journal without their permission.

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Eek, regarding the whole Bella issue.  The girl CLEARLY has some real issues going on (if that email is not fake. )
Poor Yo.  I thought the email was heartfelt and sincere.  Although I hated that she had to bring Gigi and Anwar into the mix.   That wasn't cool.

Bella needs Candy from Intervention.  ASAP.  Reality show cross over time !
 

Edited by jnymph
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A 17 year old girl who goes drinking & driving with a suspended license is a cry out for help.  Don't get me wrong, I think Yo should come down on her & she deserves to be punished, but she is still 17 & some empathy is called for.

 

 

I don't know...she could be crying out for help and need compassion. Or else she could just be some dumb spoiled girl who thinks she's invincible, gets high and drives drunk a lot and gets away with it, is used to people picking up after her and is too boring to do anything else with her money and free time than do drugs.

 

While I obviously have no problem giving my two cents on what I think of Yolanda as she appears on the show, I don't feel like I know enough about Bella to know what's going on here. Gigi being on the show more doesn't mean Gigi is the star of their actual life, and even if she is, that might just be the reality of having an overachieving sister who's always going to get along best with mom because she's exactly what mom likes. An unpleasant thing to deal with, but not necessarily a reason to do drugs and drive drunk.

 

Sometimes people and kids do things because they think it's fun rather than because they're acting out.  And probably a kid with as much money and privilege as Bella could use people forcing her to feel for other people because otherwise she's got no reason to think about anybody besides herself. 

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Wendy, we had the same mother.  

 

Whether the e-mail is real or not, I think it's perfectly reasonable in tone, except for the last sentence about Anwar.  Bella screwed up in a pretty large way and deserves to hear about it, no compassion necessary in my book.  Maybe compassion comes in a little later in dealing with the underlying causes for her behavior, but a whole bunch of guilt and yelling comes first. Yo's concern and love for Bella are quite evident in the content of the message, IMO, so the compassion is there; but the first order of business is a big correction of Bella's behavior and letting her know this will not be tolerated.. Just my unvarnished opinion.  

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There is no way Yo leaked that email. I am certain that was meant for Bella's eyes only. There are things you will say to your children that you would never ever want the world to know. I feel very sorry for Yo and Bella that this was leaked. It's like reading someone's journal without their permission.

If I were Yolanda I would call it a fake and leave it at that.  My guess is Bella is angry and leaked the e-mail.  Sometimes spoiled kids or even adults do such a thing to get even or try and show how rough they have it. (Personally, I think Bella got off fairly easy.) 

 

In the e-mail Yolanda asks Bella to start writing to her.  Maybe that is how they communicate their deep feelings-it does allow for one to express their thoughts without interruption.  This may be the worst thing Yolanda has ever written or said to anyone, it may be a result of the stress of the travel home, her mother's cancer, dealing with authorities and her on-going battle with Lyme's disease.  It leaves me wondering if Yolanda's children kept their problems out of Yolanda's world because they do love her and know how she struggles with Lyme's disease, a new marriage and all the while Yolanda working.  I am left wondering if the preferred method of communication was e-mail so they would not disturb their mother's convalescence and for this one e-mail there aren't hundreds of loving, caring writings between Yolanda and her husband and children. 

 

Where I live in California-if you are arrested for a DUI usually the police just call for a tow and put your car in impound-they don't search or inventory the vehicle.  For all we know Bella's inventory of offending items could have been out of plain sight and upon retrieving the car Yolanda discovered them.

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They search and impound here in Virginia. The DUI is probable cause for drugs. I think the email is authentic and it rings true to me. The only problems I have with the email is the why me and the emphasis on the car being messy. Seems to me the emphasis should be on the drugs and alcohol and if Bella has a problem, she needs help and if it is true that Gigi is hanging with the Beeb, she probably is living a similar lifestyle. Yolanda is so focused on perfection. That is a lot of pressure on those girls.

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Where I live in California-if you are arrested for a DUI usually the police just call for a tow and put your car in impound-they don't search or inventory the vehicle.

 

 

Wow, really, they don't look for open containers of alcohol in the car?  I thought police always did that when they made a DUI arrest. 

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Wow, really, they don't look for open containers of alcohol in the car?  I thought police always did that when they made a DUI arrest. 

Most likely the alcohol containers were in open sight and she blew over the limit, so a search may not have been necessary. That she was not charged with anything drug related says they, the police, did not search it IMO.  

 

I just hope they got her some help/guidance with the drugs/medication use, we know from Yolanda's blog that the alcohol issue was addressed by the courts.

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Isn't the first line of defense (especially by the crowd with money) rehab? Seems as though anyone on the A - D list runs to some kind of rehab once they are caught (doing something they shouldn't be doing) by the police or spouse.  I am surprised Bella skipped the trip to Betty Ford.

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I know I have confessed to you all about my problems of extreme second hand embarrassment, Yo's email has me in a shame spiral! I feel the urge to clean my car or pick lemons , anything to make Yo happy right now. No wonder I was such an easy kid to raise, the Irish Catholic guilt runs deep in me.

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Glad to see the Yo posts here.  Sheesh, I was thinkin' maybe Mo quickly bought up PTV to "scrub out" Yo's email.  Oh, just kiddin'.  Well, not really.  Felt nervous as shit till I found out for sure he didn't.

 

In the past, I've mostly liked Yo.  I relate to her no-nonsense, usually logical way of thinking.  But I was really surprised at her reaction to Bella's arrest.  Maybe this is a wake up call for Yo to get more involved in Bella's life.  I hope she helps her.  Sounds like the girl needs help badly.

 

I still think a few things triggered this over-the-top reaction from Yo.  One being that her father died in a car accident & Yo was (very rightfully so) thinking how dangerous drinking & driving is.  I think she said in her Bravo blog she was concerned for Bella's safety & worried about the harm she could have done to others.  Again, right on, Yo.  

 

And it sounds like, just from looking at Bella's car alone, she doesn't know her daughter at all (how sad)-- and what she found in the car clearly shocked her.  Now that, I can understand.  I just hope she can get past shaming & guilting the girl & help her.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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Wow, really, they don't look for open containers of alcohol in the car?  I thought police always did that when they made a DUI arrest. 

Bella was stopped because she blew a stop sign and almost hit a sheriff's deputy's car.  They stop her, have her step out of the car and give her a roadside sobriety test, she fails and goes to jail.  It has more to do with the expense of inventorying the car.  If she had an open container she would have been cited for it. 

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Glad to see the Yo posts here.  Sheesh, I was thinkin' maybe Mo quickly bought up PTV to "scrub out" Yo's email.  Oh, just kiddin'.  Well, not really.  Felt nervous as shit till I found out for sure he didn't.

 

In the past, I've mostly liked Yo.  I relate to her no-nonsense, usually logical way of thinking.  But I was really surprised at her reaction to Bella's arrest.  Maybe this is a wake up call for Yo to get more involved in Bella's life.  I hope she helps her.  Sounds like the girl needs help badly.

 

I still think a few things triggered this over-the-top reaction from Yo.  One being that her father died in a car accident & Yo was (very rightfully so) thinking how dangerous drinking & driving is.  I think she said in her Bravo blog she was concerned for Bella's safety & worried about the harm she could have done to others.  Again, right on, Yo.  

 

And it sounds like, just from looking at Bella's car alone, she doesn't know her daughter at all (how sad)-- and what she found in the car clearly shocked her.  Now that, I can understand.  I just hope she can get past shaming & guilting the girl & help her.

  I think she assumed they inherited her "Dutch" sensibilities. She repeats that notion time and time again, especially in her blogs and I am not sure her kids can live up to her ideals. That Yolanda took on so much at a young age, as she reminds us so very often, was great but that was her in a different time and under far different circumstances than her children have had to face, thankfully. She needs to remember that they have also been around their father who likes to party and surround himself with women not all that much older than they are. No matter how consistent her influence was/is, there was/is also his.

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I think she assumed they inherited her "Dutch" sensibilities. She repeats that notion time and time again, especially in her blogs and I am not sure her kids can live up to her ideals. That Yolanda took on so much at a young age, as she reminds us so very often, was great but that was her in a different time and under far different circumstances than her children have had to face, thankfully. She needs to remember that they have also been around their father who likes to party and surround himself with women not all that much older than they are. No matter how consistent her influence was/is, there was/is also his.

Not to mention their mother who despit all her "strong Dutch girl" pretension has made most of her career in marrying well. Yolanda may have worked hard as a kid, but I doubt her kids have witnessed much other than Yo the spoiled housewife.

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I think she assumed they inherited her "Dutch" sensibilities. She repeats that notion time and time again, especially in her blogs and I am not sure her kids can live up to her ideals.

 

 

Yeah, I think you really hit on something there.  It goes back to her saying over & over & over again on the show -- which is essentially broadcasting it to the world at large, that her kids are "a better version of her".  She says this about all of her children, not just her prized golden girl, Gigi, who she's so proud of getting paid a ton of dough to show her butt crack to the world.  It puts lot of needless pressure on her children.  And she assumes they are as resilient & tough as she seemingly is & they may not be.  OK, it does seem like Gigi is, but the other kids may not be.  And why do they have to be a better version of her?  Why can't they just be themselves -- and dat's it?  Guess in Yo's mind her daughters can only be models & marry billionaires.  Wonder what she's got in mind for her son.

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I am glad I never read this posts before because when I was walking down the podium to receive my degree I could only think of how much I owed this to my mother who always kept me straight  despite her inflexible ways. Matter of fact I do think I will call her just to thank her for doing her job and for being a real mother to me.

 

 

Well, the tough love thing worked, but the sad fact is it doesn't work very often on a lot of kids -- especially spoiled rich kids.  And yeah, maybe Bella is just a spoiled rich kid who Yo gave way too much stuff & freedom to.  So maybe this is a wake up call for Yo, and it's for the best she took away Bella's car & her phone.  Altho I can't possibly even begin to imagine, er, a poor teen without a phone, let alone a billionaire's daughter.  I'm sure she'll find a way to get a phone.

 

This is a difficult situation with no easy answers.  I guess I'm more of a believer in empathy & therapy.  Some think that's bullshit & a waste of time.  I can't argue with dat cuz sometimes it does accomplish nothing.  Just as tough love can work like a charm, as it did for Wendy above, and sometimes it goes nowhere, as it did for a few kids I grew up with who died long ago in various awful ways.

 

I'm not getting on Yo's case or accusing her of being bad mother, by pointing out she's guilting & shaming Bella.  I don't think she's a bad mother.  I get that she's feeling shame herself of not being a good parent.  Is she feeling embarrassed by Bella?  Is it also that she's really pissed at Bella for embarrassing her in a way that makes her look like a bad mother to the whole world?  I don't blame her if she's pissed at Bella.  She should be.  

 

I just hope Yo is getting past all this stuff & is helping Bella if she is heading on a bad path.  Now I don't know that she is.  But if she is -- after the punishments & the guilting & shaming, I really hope Yo is trying to understand & help her.  That's to me, what a good mother would do.  But maybe I'm wrong.

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Well, the tough love thing worked, but the sad fact is it doesn't work very often on a lot of kids -- especially spoiled rich kids. And yeah, maybe Bella is just a spoiled rich kid who Yo gave way too much stuff & freedom to. So maybe this is a wake up call for Yo, and it's for the best she took away Bella's car & her phone. Altho I can't possibly even begin to imagine, er, a poor teen without a phone, let alone a billionaire's daughter. I'm sure she'll find a way to get a phone.

This is a difficult situation with no easy answers. I guess I'm more of a believer in empathy & therapy. Some think that's bullshit & a waste of time. I can't argue with dat cuz sometimes it does accomplish nothing. Just as tough love can work like a charm, as it did for Wendy above, and sometimes it goes nowhere, as it did for a few kids I grew up with who died long ago in various awful ways.

I'm not getting on Yo's case or accusing her of being bad mother, by pointing out she's guilting & shaming Bella. I don't think she's a bad mother. I get that she's feeling shame herself of not being a good parent. Is she feeling embarrassed by Bella? Is it also that she's really pissed at Bella for embarrassing her in a way that makes her look like a bad mother to the whole world? I don't blame her if she's pissed at Bella. She should be.

I just hope Yo is getting past all this stuff & is helping Bella if she is heading on a bad path. Now I don't know that she is. But if she is -- after the punishments & the guilting & shaming, I really hope Yo is trying to understand & help her. That's to me, what a good mother would do. But maybe I'm wrong.

I agree. As many issues as I have with Yo and Kyle(I lump Kyle in because I think she and Yo have a lot in common) I don't think either is a bad mother. A little(lot) self absorbed? Sure. Too inclined to gloss over issues? You bet! Women I could only stand for polite cocktail conversation? Preach it! But bad moms? No, not really. Mistakes? Sure. Who hasn't as a parent? But I do think Yo and Kyle are both dedicated to their kids in a very real (if myopic) way. A DUI is a tough situation. It's extremly serious and I think Yo is taking it that way. Is it an indication of a larger problem? Maybe, maybe not. Kids are dumb, which is why I'm fully in favor of raising the driving age to 18 or even 21. Kids do dumb things. If your're the mom you want to protect them. I haven't yet sceen anything to indicate that Yo is downplaying the fact that Bella could have hurt someone else, just that she's a mom and her first question was Is Bella Ok. I'm actually do believe her second question was Was Anyone Else Hurt?flying home immediately? Well my parents would have done that even if there wasn't anything to do just because...YOUR KID GOT A FUCKING DUI! The hammer, it needs to be dropped in a righteous manner. You got home and you deal. It's what parents do. Hell, I'm 38 and my parents might fligh home to read me the riot act if I got a DUI.

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Well, the tough love thing worked, but the sad fact is it doesn't work very often on a lot of kids -- especially spoiled rich kids.  And yeah, maybe Bella is just a spoiled rich kid who Yo gave way too much stuff & freedom to.  So maybe this is a wake up call for Yo, and it's for the best she took away Bella's car & her phone.  Altho I can't possibly even begin to imagine, er, a poor teen without a phone, let alone a billionaire's daughter.  I'm sure she'll find a way to get a phone.

 

This is a difficult situation with no easy answers.  I guess I'm more of a believer in empathy & therapy.  Some think that's bullshit & a waste of time.  I can't argue with dat cuz sometimes it does accomplish nothing.  Just as tough love can work like a charm, as it did for Wendy above, and sometimes it goes nowhere, as it did for a few kids I grew up with who died long ago in various awful ways.

 

I'm not getting on Yo's case or accusing her of being bad mother, by pointing out she's guilting & shaming Bella.  I don't think she's a bad mother.  I get that she's feeling shame herself of not being a good parent.  Is she feeling embarrassed by Bella?  Is it also that she's really pissed at Bella for embarrassing her in a way that makes her look like a bad mother to the whole world?  I don't blame her if she's pissed at Bella.  She should be.  

 

I just hope Yo is getting past all this stuff & is helping Bella if she is heading on a bad path.  Now I don't know that she is.  But if she is -- after the punishments & the guilting & shaming, I really hope Yo is trying to understand & help her.  That's to me, what a good mother would do.  But maybe I'm wrong.

Bella's DUI arrest was in mid July and she flew to NY in August to start college/modeling. I am sure she had a cell phone when she left for NY and she would not need a car there either nor a drivers license. I have no doubts that Bella fulfilled her court mandated community service and her 20 hours at AA before she left but other than during the 1 month she was home before leaving, I do not think there was any long term punishment.

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I just read the email and honestly, I didn't think it was that bad.   She's clearly sad, in pain, telling her kid she loves her but get your shit together.  This kid has every resource available to her to seek help and get treated unlike most kids her age.  Bella is lucky to be alive and lucky she didn't kill anyone else while drunk and high.  

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When Yolanda first came on the show, I posted that she reminded me of the character Bree from Desperate Housewives. She was trying too hard to convince us of her perfect life with her perfect king, her perfect kids and her perfect fridge. Now the skeletons are starting to come out. I suspect Gigi has a wild side as well and that we may start hearing more about it. I don't think Yolanda is a bad mother, she loves her kids. I do think she is very rigid and myopic and way too concerned with appearing perfect.

Wirewrap's comment about Mohamed got me thinking about the extreme differences between life at Yolanda's house vs Mohamed's. It must be hard to bounce between them. Yolanda's uptight home must be pretty stressful. I'd probably cut loose any chance I got if I were Gigi's and Bella's age, although hopefully not to Bella's self-destructive extreme. I hope she gets her issues, whatever they are, worked out.

Edited by EVS
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OK, so I just saw the preview for next ep & was surprised to hear Yo casually say Bella had a glass of wine at a friend's place, who she was hanging out with & it was summer & she took her car out to get something quick at a convenience store when she was stopped by a cop. WTF, Yo??? Hmmm, I'd say she's leaving out quite a few important deets bout this little incident. Er, why?

Bella was way, way over the legal limit so she had more than a fucking glass of wine for shit's sake. Why you being so casual bout it, hun? And she was stopped by a cop for good reason. Sounded like she was driving extremely recklessly. It's incredible she didn't hurt or kill anyone. Sheesh, this casual shit from Yo really annoyed the piss outta me.

Forget my earlier posts that she should have compassion for the girl. Fuck dat. Hope ya really did give it to the spoiled brat but good, Yo.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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OK, so I just saw the preview for next ep & was surprised to hear Yo casually say Bella had a glass of wine at a friend's place, who she was hanging out with & it was summer & she took her car out to get something quick at a convenience store when she was stopped by a cop. WTF, Yo??? Hmmm, I'd say she's leaving out quite a few important deets bout this little incident. Er, why?

Bella was way, way over the legal limit so she had more than a fucking glass of wine for shit's sake. Why you being so casual bout it, hun? And she was stopped by a cop for good reason. Sounded like she was driving extremely recklessly. It's incredible she didn't hurt or kill anyone. Sheesh, this casual shit from Yo really annoyed the piss outta me.

Forget my earlier posts that she should have compassion for the girl. Fuck dat. Hope ya really did give it to the spoiled brat but good, Yo.

IMO, just mine, Yolanda was trying to make it sound like a minor mistake and only decided to be more open about it after the truth came out.

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But the truth was out right away I thought - probably even before Yo got home.  Was that scene in Spain?

I don't think Yolanda ever thought it would be made so public, Bella was only 17, still a minor, when she got the DUI. When it happened Yolanda said nothing on twitter, gave no interviews about it, nothing. I think she was hoping it would just go away.

Edited by WireWrap
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And maybe more deets came out about just how awful this incident was. it really does sound like she was fortunate she didn't harm herself and/or others. Very, very serious & disturbing. Certainly not to be discussed as Yo casually mentions it in such an easy breezy way. Fuck no.

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And maybe more deets came out about just how awful this incident was. it really does sound like she was fortunate she didn't harm herself and/or others. Very, very serious & disturbing. Certainly not to be discussed as Yo casually mentions it in such an easy breezy way. Fuck no.

Right, like Yolanda would have us believe that Bella only had 1 glass of wine and did not almost hit a patrol car while running a stop sign speeding at 4 am. That had to have been 1 hell of a large glass, maybe the size of a couple of bottles of wine, for her to blow twice the legal limit (even though she was/is not of legal age to drink alcohol).

 

It bothers me that she keeps referring to her fathers death when she talks about Bella/DUI. Did he get hit by a drunk driver, was he the drunk driver or was he killed in a nasty but no alcohol involved car accident? She does not give any details about his accident and pointing it out on camera may be more of a ploy for sympathy than anything else. After all, this is the same woman that only went to see her mom after she got out of being in ICU/hospital, not during.

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After all, this is the same woman that only went to see her mom after she got out of being in ICU/hospital, not during.

Was this on the show, or something that was just referred to? Because if I'm in the hospital ICU being treated for cancer, the last thing I want are cameras filming me having a conversation with my daughter....when I may need to take breaks to puke.

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She did mention it very briefly & I think only showed her mother very briefly -- I assumed out of respect for her. But I also assumed cuz this is not a very pretty aspect of her life & Yo doesn't like to actually show anything that isn't pretty. She'll discuss it, but def not show it -- certainly not much anyway.

Was watching the lunch of Yo & Bella & noticed she did mention something bout Bella not getting into trouble in NY. She said it laughing, like she was kidding, but it certainly didn't seem like she was kidding. It sounded to me like an extremely stern warning from Yo to Bella. And Bella clearly understood it as a warning cuz she said quickly she wasn't gonna get into any trouble. So it was pretty obvious this scene was filmed after the DUI, as someone earlier assumed.

Edited by ScoobieDoobs
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See then again I can understand Yolanda's position in trying to minimize the incident because that is what my mother probably would have done, my mom would have told me good in the privacy of our home but in front of everybody she would have defended me, except for my aunts, the rest of the world was not to ever talk badly about her children, ever.

I keep reminding myself that WE (as in viewers who not only watch the show but also read and post in blogs are really a very small minority compared to the million of viewers of the show, most of the viewers watch the show and take at face value whatever is shown there, that is why Kyle got so mad when Lisa put the cheating rumors on the show, or why Adrienne was so hurt when Brandi spewed her secret, because once it makes it to the show, the audience multiplies 10 fold, people who never heard about it before now know about it, so yolanda once she knew the DIU was going to play in the show is now trying to down play what really happened to Bella.

Reading Yolanda's email there is no doubt that yolanda is pretty pissed and hurt and worried about the consequences of Bella's very poor decisions, yet for the public and the viewers she has to try to minimize it, what do we expect? If Yolanda was to say on the show that she is pretty mad because her daughter was falling out drunk and her car was a mess of alcohol, pills and bloody tampons, most viewers would judge her terribly for throwing her daughter under the bus, so in that sense she is screwed one way or another. For most viewers of the show she has to pretend that it was a silly and childish thing that Bella did even though inside I am pretty sure that she knows the gravity of the problem her daughter faces. JMO

Edited by Wendy
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Was this on the show, or something that was just referred to? Because if I'm in the hospital ICU being treated for cancer, the last thing I want are cameras filming me having a conversation with my daughter....when I may need to take breaks to puke.

She mentioned it on the show. Yolanda said she and David were going on a vacation (their own yacht trip) and then she was going to visit her mom, who just got out of the ICU/hospital while battling cancer a second time. Most people would have gone to see their mom while she was in ICU and before a vacation. Bravo's cameras did not go on the vacation with Yolanda/David and would not have gone to see her mom either.

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The girl sounds like a mess to me. If she were my daughter, I'd make her stay home & go to college nearby. Yo finds out all this shit bout her & then lets her go off on her own 3 thousand miles away? Why? So she can start her modeling career -- which is so all important to Yo? More important that a college education or one's mental health & stability?

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