S05.E08: Jazmin

[Tara Ariano]

A Midwestern teen loses her parent's trust when she breaks their house rules.

[appledumpling]

For the first time since I've been watching 16 and Pregnant I wished that this couple would get their own place.  Usually I'm not in agreement when they want to rush and get a place of their own.  The parents were way too strict, Dell couldn't even come to the house when Jazmin was in labor because her parents weren't home.  That's just crazy.  Poor kid was working like a dog and still the parents wouldn't budge.  I wonder why Jazmin never went to his house?  I hope he has sense enough to go to court to get visitation rights.

[MacMom]

All I could think about was that the parents have apparently never watched an episode of 16 and Pregnant. I couldn't believe that they were making it so difficult for a young father to spend time with his new daughter. For the first time, I wanted to see the new father tell the baby momma (and her parents) that it wasn't their decision to make; that he could go to court and get visitation rights. Just shake up their smug little "house rules" world a bit. I know they were doing what they thought was right for their daughter, but they seemed to be actively working to make sure that eventually the baby's father would just drift away. Hope he proves them wrong.

[WhitneyWhit]

Jazmin's parents need to have several seats, or in their world, pews.

 

This was a prime example of what happens when you simply tell a child not to have sex and leave it at that. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Jazmin did this in hopes of getting away from them.

 

I have no idea what they wanted from that boy. What were they talking about when they kept saying "God's order in our home"? They do realize they live in a house and not a cathedral, right?  Are they hoping that if they keep him away long enough they'll be able to pass off the pregnancy as immaculate?

 

Whatever happens between Dell and Jazmin, I'm hoping he will get custody sorted out through the courts because he's in for some headaches from her parents.

[quesadilla]

Poor Dell. Finally, for the first time in a long time on this show, we see a father who actually wants to be involved in his child's life and in taking care of her, who works his ass off to provide for his new family, and he's talked down to and treated like a child by her parents. It actually felt like they'd be happier if he were a deadbeat who wanted nothing to do with his daughter.

[LotusFlower]

Ok, I'll play devil's advocate and say that it was kind of refreshing to see parents tell their teen daughter that she lives under their roof and their rules, and if she breaks those rules (and their trust), then there will be consequences. Even if a baby is born. So many times on this show we see the opposite - young teenagers getting pregnant and the parents kind of shrug, and the baby is added to the household. Sure, there are some consequences - the teen mom hardly ever finishes school, lots of fights, drama with the baby daddy, but usually little to no consequences at hone/with the parents.

I agree that it was a switch to see a father want to spend time with his child, but maybe he felt that way because he was hardly there? And not doing much heavy lifting? I don't know....I just wonder if he would be so gung-ho if he was living in the house and getting up in the middle of the night to feed the baby, change diapers, etc....

Edited June 3, 2014 by LotusFlower

[MacMom]

I think the point is that he never had the opportunity to find out if he had what it took to get up in the middle of the night, etc. I didn't get the impression that the parents did it, either.

[ElderPrice]

I don't blame the parents for not lifting the house rules, in fact I was glad to see them stick to their guns. The kids made a stupid decision and its not up to the parents to make it easier for them. You chose this, live with it. Our house our rules. If you don't like it save money and get your own place. That said, it was ridiculous that Jazmin wouldn't let him take the baby to his house, which would not only let him spend more time with the baby but would give her time to do her schoolwork. I cant with these girls that think that they can call  all the shots, the father has just as many rights as she does.

 

Did anyone else notice how out of sequence the shots seemed? Baby Laila grew, then shrunk back to newborn size, then grew again during the neverending discussions about the house rules. And Jazmin's hair changed length and styles at least three times. It was distracting.

[ElderPrice]

I don't blame the parents for not lifting the house rules, in fact I was glad to see them stick to their guns. The kids made a stupid decision and its not up to the parents to make it easier for them. You chose this, live with it. Our house our rules. If you don't like it save money and get your own place. That said, it was ridiculous that Jazmin wouldn't let him take the baby to his house, which would not only let him spend more time with the baby but would give her time to do her schoolwork. I cant with these girls that think that they can call  all the shots, the father has just as many rights as she does.

 

Did anyone else notice how out of sequence the shots seemed? Baby Laila grew, then shrunk back to newborn size, then grew again during the neverending discussions about the house rules. And Jazmin's hair changed length and styles at least three times. It was distracting.

[geekamonggeeks]

Here's what I posted on Imdb:

 

I was sort of torn on Jazmin's parents. On one hand, I was glad to see a couple of parents who weren't going to roll over and let their teen daughter call the shots. That was nice to see. But then they took it too far by refusing to let Dell come see his daughter unless it fell under certain stipulations, and then making him leave quickly after he arrived because it was ten-o'clock. That was ridiculous.

 

That said, Jazmin's attitude was also pretty irritating. She didn't like her parents' rules because they prevented Dell from seeing Laila. But when Dell offered to take the baby to his place overnight, Jazmin not only refused but was also pretty flippant and annoyed that this kid wanted to take his daughter overnight...after she just spent God knows how long bitching about how unfair it was that Dell and Laila couldn't see each other often. I understand she was a new mom, but her attitude towards Dell was pure bitchiness, as was her telling her parents that she really didn't have a plan to raise the baby and was just going to roll with it.

 

The episode was more low-key than I had imagined it would be, but I really didn't care for Jazmin at all at the end.

[vmcd88]

Those parents are crazy.   The genie is out of the bottle. I'd bet dollars to donuts that Jazmin is not currently on some type of birth control and the parents feel that their strict rules will be what keeps her from getting pregnant again.    Delusional.   Sure as a mom I'd be pissed, but that ship has sailed and it's time to get down to the reality of the situation and make sure I arm my daughter with a little more than strict rules to ensure that she doesnt become pregnant again and finishes school. Also, I know the baby's father doesnt want to piss off Jazmin/her parents but his parents need to encourage him to go on down to courthouse and get legal visitation hours set up.

[IvySpice]

Jazmin's parents seemed so reasonable in their manner, but the house rules were insane. Yes, they should make the rules. No, the rules shouldn't be designed to drive a wedge between Laila's parents. Is it really better if they never have sex again because they only speak when they're handing Laila off? Dell actually loved his baby! And the love actually translated into positive actions and attempted actions! This is a good thing!

 

 

its not up to the parents to make it easier for them

It's not up to the parents to shield them from the unavoidable difficulties of parenthood. It IS up to the parents not to add pointless additional burdens that carry no benefit. How does it help Laila to send her dad home at 10 when she's going to need bottles at 2 and 6? If he's working the night shift, he's exactly the right person to do the 2 am feeding. Jazmin needs the help so she can do her homework; Laila needs the help so that she can bond with her daddy.

 

So they're answerable to God for what goes on in the house, huh. They can explain how avoiding sex is more important than a baby having two parents. Good job. I guarantee you that Laila's never going to give a shit whether her mother had sex during her infancy or not. She's going to care whether her dad sticks around.

[Sarah D. Bunting]

Lilit breaks down the episode!

[geekamonggeeks]

Jazmin's parents seemed so reasonable in their manner, but the house rules were insane. Yes, they should make the rules. No, the rules shouldn't be designed to drive a wedge between Laila's parents. Is it really better if they never have sex again because they only speak when they're handing Laila off? Dell actually loved his baby! And the love actually translated into positive actions and attempted actions! This is a good thing!

 

 

 

Exactly! Dell was honestly one of the best fathers in the entire series, in my opinion. He really stepped up to a plate in a way that was impressive for somebody that young. He had a job, was working his ass off to support his daughter, was really committed to spending time with her and even wanted to give Jazmin a break from homework that would also benefit Laila because then she could spend some one-on-one time with her dad. Too bad Jazmin was so flippant and acted like his request was unreasonable.

 

Like Dell said in the episode: Jazmin was not Laila's only protector. If he can't spend enough time with his daughter at Jazmin's house, then she should have compromised and agreed to start letting him have the baby every so often at his place. That would help her get her work done (so she can actually graduate school on track) and let Dell spend time with his child without Jazmin's parents breathing down his neck, constantly telling him to go home. I hope Dell has a great support system, and I hope they encourage him to get a custody agreement in place. Between Jazmin and her parents, there's a good chance Dell won't be able to see his daughter enough without having to go to the courts. The parents may claim to answer to God, but they'll be forced to answer to the legal system when a judge orders them to let Dell visit with his daughter.

Edited June 3, 2014 by geekamonggeeks

[ivgotspirit02]

Jazmin's parents seemed so reasonable in their manner, but the house rules were insane. Yes, they should make the rules. No, the rules shouldn't be designed to drive a wedge between Laila's parents. Is it really better if they never have sex again because they only speak when they're handing Laila off? Dell actually loved his baby! And the love actually translated into positive actions and attempted actions! This is a good thing!

It's not up to the parents to shield them from the unavoidable difficulties of parenthood. It IS up to the parents not to add pointless additional burdens that carry no benefit. How does it help Laila to send her dad home at 10 when she's going to need bottles at 2 and 6? If he's working the night shift, he's exactly the right person to do the 2 am feeding. Jazmin needs the help so she can do her homework; Laila needs the help so that she can bond with her daddy.

So they're answerable to God for what goes on in the house, huh. They can explain how avoiding sex is more important than a baby having two parents. Good job. I guarantee you that Laila's never going to give a shit whether her mother had sex during her infancy or not. She's going to care whether her dad sticks around.

Exactly this. I thought I was going to be on the parent's side but they were doing both their daughter and granddaughter a HUGE disservice. Jazmin is going to struggle with finishing school (something she actually seemed motivated to do) because no one is there to help watch the baby. I'm certain it still can be then but for once the baby's father is actually willing to step in and make it easier for her. The rules were just a tad ridiculous.

I just felt really bad for Dell, he was calm (although understandably frustrated) during his confrontations with the parents and just kept getting shut down. I hope he takes it a step farther and pursues his legal rights. He has the potential to be a really great dad if given the opportunity.

[poeticlicensed]

I got the distinct feeling that Jazmin's parents were using the "house rules" as a way to punish both Jazmin and Dell for having sex and getting pregnant. It was pretty clear that Dell wanted to visit his child, not get in Jazmin's pants, but mom kept saying no, and it seemed incredibly cruel to Dell and pretty much forced Jazmin to give up her studies, since no one was there to help with the baby. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying they should go down the road of letting the deadbeat baby daddy move into the house and into the baby momma's bed, but I think they could have made teh situation better for all by relaxing the house rules a bit. Again, I think the rules were meant to be a punishment for their transgression. 

[Meliskee1]

Perhaps I have very low standards. I was pretty impressed with Jazmin and Dell, mainly because they were able to string together coherent sentences, with a minimum of raised voices and swearing. They were able to intelligently express their displeasure with the situation without whining or yelling. It was refreshing.

 

I felt badly for Dell. He wanted to be a good dad, and wasn't being allowed to do so. That said, I understand Jazmin's parents wishes, just not the impractical execution of those wishes and rules. I don't know that Jazmin and Dell moving in together on their own is the right answer, but there has to be a happy medium.

 

That said, I have no idea if they are still together in real time anyway.

[gunderda]

Were they even together? It just felt like they weren't a couple and I missed the beginning of the episode to get the run down of their relationship.

 

And did she not drive? I don't understand why she couldn't go to his house so they all 3 could hang out.  Or yes, just give the baby to him. But I get that new moms have a hard time understanding that people need to learn, just like they did, how to care for a baby.

[truebluesmoky]

I wonder if she perhaps wasn't allowed to go to this house, because her parents couldn't be sure they were being "properly chaperoned"?

[JoannKB]

Why does every girl on this show say that birth control makes you fat? When did that become accepted fact? And why does no one refute that? The only response we see on the show is "well, pregnancy makes you even fatter."

 

Birth control does not make you fat. Some birth control pills can make some people gain some weight, but that's not always the case, and there are plenty of other birth control methods for which weight gain isn't even a possible side effect.

[geekamonggeeks]

Were they even together? It just felt like they weren't a couple and I missed the beginning of the episode to get the run down of their relationship.

 

And did she not drive? I don't understand why she couldn't go to his house so they all 3 could hang out.  Or yes, just give the baby to him. But I get that new moms have a hard time understanding that people need to learn, just like they did, how to care for a baby.

I think Jazmin said that she and Dell had only been dating for a little while when they got pregnant. Her parents said that they wanted Jazmin and Dell to get to know each other on a personal level before Laila's birth. I got more of a friend vibe than a couple vibe from them as well. Maybe that will help them if and when they break up. They seem to get along pretty well on just a platonic level.

 

Also, Jazmin said that Dell actually lived on the same block as she did. So I have no idea why she was so against him having Laila for a night. I mean, I do, because she's a new mom and needs to learn that other people can learn to care for her child. But it's not like Dell lived a couple hours away or even across town. That situation reminded me of the season three couple Cleondra and Mario. They were constantly arguing over where their baby was going to live when they themselves lived across the street from each other. It was ridiculous.

[meisje]

 

 

Jazmin's parents need to have several seats, or in their world, pews.

This was a prime example of what happens when you simply tell a child not to have sex and leave it at that. If I didn't know any better, I'd think Jazmin did this in hopes of getting away from them.

I have no idea what they wanted from that boy. What were they talking about when they kept saying "God's order in our home"? They do realize they live in a house and not a cathedral, right?  Are they hoping that if they keep him away long enough they'll be able to pass off the pregnancy as immaculate?

Ha! Indeed!

Although it was somewhat encouraging to see parents stick to some kind of "the consequences are yours, not ours" way of thinking, it was for all the wrong reasons, and infuriating in its overarching stupidity. There is no doubt the "house rules" (oh, how many times I would have carved "house drools" into my bedroom wall while living there in semi captivity...) will affect Laila the most, and for the worse.

 

Was it really weight gain that prevented Jazmin from taking precautions, or some idiosyncratic rule about how Jazmin would learn about God's gift of lady parts only after she was out living on her own? She may have taken the bullet for her parents there.

 

What was with the digital gyno exam rather than an ultrasound? I was lost there -- is it some kind of god-friendly reproductive health?

 

As this season of Sad Southern Stories has played out, only a few have seemed worth some followup, and Jazmin's was one of them, if for no other reason than to see a dad functioning at a higher level and willingly change diapers and fold laundry (Yay Dell!). Sad to see Jazmin so devoid of hope by the end, and just resigned to the rules; she looked a little dead in the eyes by the end and where once there was a smile and some hope and empowerment, there wasn't much left.

 

Hmm, I forgot Dell was 1 block away! Why on earth wasn't his request for an overnight or just to see his baby at his house strongly considered? I truly dislike Jazmin's parents for creating a kind of "learned helplessness" environment for Dell (and Jazmin) where nothing they did, no matter how planned, structured or intelligent was ever allowed to affect the outcome positively, and for their ugly, ugly kitchen and decor.  

[IvySpice]

 

What was with the digital gyno exam rather than an ultrasound?

There's usually a manual exam during third trimester visits because they're feeling for cervical effacement. There may have been an ultrasound we didn't see. What seemed weird to me is that Jazmin would surely have had several pelvic exams earlier in her pregnancy, no? Did she hide the pregnancy from her parents for months and avoid getting prenatal care? If she were having normal treatment, by 30-something weeks, you'd think she'd be a pro at enduring OB poking and prodding.

[gunderda]

Him living only a block away makes the story that much more crazy. I feel bad for that guy. Hope he eventually got a visitation schedule set in stone.

[wrestlesflamingos]

I get the sense that Mom put on a huge show for MTV.  She sure had her hair done, face on, and mercedes minivan.  Seems like Mom felt superior to Dell too, she sure delighted in telling him to leave.  Honestly her first mistake as a mother was the spelling Jazmin.

[Ljohnson1987]

Dell was the first father this season that actually wanted to be involved in his child's life. I give him major props for that. 

[NikSac]

There's usually a manual exam during third trimester visits because they're feeling for cervical effacement. There may have been an ultrasound we didn't see. What seemed weird to me is that Jazmin would surely have had several pelvic exams earlier in her pregnancy, no? Did she hide the pregnancy from her parents for months and avoid getting prenatal care? If she were having normal treatment, by 30-something weeks, you'd think she'd be a pro at enduring OB poking and prodding.

 

I was thinking the same thing. She got pregnant but a doc putting a finger in there was so horrible? Really?  I didn't get it.

 

Also, I realize this is completely shallow but did they have to show a close-up of the disgusting diaper?  I was just about gagging betweend that and her dagger fingernails. Though maybe the diaper was enough to gross out some other 16 year olds enough that they use condoms.... we can hope.

 

I felt so bad for Dell (and Laila of course) this episode. I felt like he really wanted to be a good Dad and just kept getting shut down. I'm curious how things are going for him/them in real time.

[ShaNaeNae]

What I thought was ridiculous is her parents thought of Dell as the bad influence. I really never heard them talk harsh to her. Only to him. They were telling him it's not fun and games time now that there's a baby, it's not a great occasion (can't remember their choice of words), so therefore they're not going to work with him to make things happen. Yet, she got a happy baby shower, she gets to go on this stupid show. I'd most likely not be writing this today if I had gotten pregnant at 16, my mom would have killed me, but I can tell you if I had said, "hey can we be on 16 & Pregnant?" my mom would have said FUCK NO and this pregnancy isn't something to have fun with, celebrate by being on TV.

 

So, yeah, they seemed to have issue with him quite a bit.

[gunderda]

I just remember the one moment I was bewildered by.  When she called him on the phone and he asked if she had thought anymore about letting the baby stay at his house.  She says no but says "but you can come over here whenever you want"  WHAT!? Are you kidding me?? So glad he told her he was getting irritated and couldn't talk to her anymore.   No he can not come over any time he wants. If he could, he would! 

[CaughtOnTape]

Jazmin's mother was a bitch.  She delighted in telling them what they could and couldn't do....as evidenced by the complete look of glee every time she got to tell him to leave or deny his request to see his daughter more often.  Something tells me if Dell did save enough money to get them a place of their own she'd still find some way to throw a monkey wrench into that.

[FairyDusted]

We manage to get a Teen Dad with his brain firing on all cylinders and Mama runs him off?! Oh Helllll no! Great parenting! 

[geekamonggeeks]

What I thought was ridiculous is her parents thought of Dell as the bad influence. I really never heard them talk harsh to her. Only to him. They were telling him it's not fun and games time now that there's a baby, it's not a great occasion (can't remember their choice of words), so therefore they're not going to work with him to make things happen. Yet, she got a happy baby shower, she gets to go on this stupid show. I'd most likely not be writing this today if I had gotten pregnant at 16, my mom would have killed me, but I can tell you if I had said, "hey can we be on 16 & Pregnant?" my mom would have said FUCK NO and this pregnancy isn't something to have fun with, celebrate by being on TV.

 

So, yeah, they seemed to have issue with him quite a bit.

I had this same thought when I watched it. So Dell has a job, is working his ass off--even taking the night shift several days in a row so his daughter will be supported---and is clearly devoted to Laila, yet he's supposedly the bad influence who shouldn't be trusted at all. Jazmin gets pregnant at seventeen, and doesn't really have any plans whatsoever when it comes to actual parenting (along with an unrealistic goal of not having a crying baby...okay), yet she's the pampered princess who has to be protected by Mommy and Step-Daddy.

 

I really do hope Dell gets a visitation order in place, if the situation doesn't get any better (and something tells me it won't). As long as Jazmin is under her parents' thumb, Dell and Laila's relationship will always be severely compromised.

[dreamkiller]

I just remember the one moment I was bewildered by.  When she called him on the phone and he asked if she had thought anymore about letting the baby stay at his house.  She says no but says "but you can come over here whenever you want"  WHAT!? Are you kidding me?? So glad he told her he was getting irritated and couldn't talk to her anymore.   No he can not come over any time he wants. If he could, he would! 

Right??? I had the exact same reaction. The whole reason that visitation at his place was on the table was because he could NOT come over when he wanted. It was incredibly sad to see him try and try to parent only to be refused. The majority of the fathers pay a ton of lip service but put nothing behind. Even him saying that he wonders what she's doing when he's not there demonstrated his devotion. Even after being consistently refused, he persevered. Compare that to other fathers on this show like Adam who complain that the only reason they don't see their child is because the mother won't allow it. I want Dell and Maurice from Arianna's episode to get down to Friend of Court ASAP to protect their rights.

[Soobs]

Jazmin's mom seemed to enjoy making Jazmin's life as hard as possible so that she had to suffer for her "sin". It was hard to watch because the person who will suffer the most is the baby.

[geekamonggeeks]

Jazmin's mom seemed to enjoy making Jazmin's life as hard as possible so that she had to suffer for her "sin". It was hard to watch because the person who will suffer the most is the baby.

Exactly this. Oftentimes, when a teen couple on this show talk about moving in together, I always think it's a bad idea. But in this case, I think Jazmin, Dell and Laila would have all benefited from living together away from Jazmin's parents. That atmosphere was just so controlling and almost dysfunctional in how rigid it was. They didn't seem to realize or even care that Dell coming over during the night would have greatly helped out Jazmin by allowing her to get some sleep for school/getting her homework done without having to tend to a fussy baby every few minutes. Both Dell and Jazmin were so busy with work and school, respectively, that I highly doubt they were going to engage in some premarital sex once the parents' backs were turned.

 

I loved how the mom was constantly talking about answering to God. Lady, your seventeen-year-old daughter gave birth to a baby out of wedlock. It's a little too late to be talking about God and preventing Jazmin from "sinning" and whatnot. I definitely agree that the mom was punishing Jazmin and Dell for having a baby before marriage. What a way to set both your daughter and granddaughter up for failure.

[wrestlesflamingos]

I was annoyed that Dell couldn't come by during the day without a supervisor.  Let him see his daughter before he goes to work. Maybe he could make some bottles or do some laundry and help Jazmin get ahead of the curve. I still think it was fake as can be and Mom is MIA without the cameras.

[Yeldarbe]

Yeah I call shenanigans on the mom too.. For all her talk about not making it a happy thing, or glorifying breaking The Rules, she sure was quick to agree to let her kid be on MTV!

[kccody]

I call double shenanigans. My goodness Parents- you have a hard-working, non- addicted, involved young man whom your daughter is tied to forever, and you are making it hard for him to see his daughter. I noticed that Jazmin had a step-dad, would love to know mom's back story- where's Jazmin bio dad? Maybe he died, or maybe mom has not lead a perfect life herself. Teens are dumb and make mistakes- these two are trying to do the right thing by their child. I hope Dell makes a lot of money and he and Jazmin move away with their daughter.

[lezlers]

I was getting really, really irritated watching Jazmin's parents.  They're effectively isolating her away from everyone, cutting her off from getting any help with her baby.  If she didn't already have PPD, she'd be well on her way living with them.  There doesn't seem to be any updates available online, either.  I'm dying to know what's going on with them now.

[trimthatfat]

An adult in Dell's life needs to let him know what his rights are as the father. I don't know when this episode was filmed, but if Jazmin and Dell haven't moved out together, Dell needs to go to court and get a visitation order. That's a legal document Jazmin's mother cannot dismiss on account of her 'house rules'.

 

I really felt for Dell. He'll be in for 18 years of pure ridiculousness if he doesn't seek a visitation order.

 

As far as Jazmin's mother insisting that this pregnancy wasn't cause for celebration...um, why have a baby shower and sit there cheesing as your daughter pull out tacky tu-tu after tacky tu-tu given to her by guests? Why consent to appearing on this show?

Edited June 8, 2014 by trimthatfat

[gunderda]

I think I read somewhere that they are no longer together.