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S02.E09: Family Dynamics and a Red Fiero


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Sheldon studies his family for a psychology project, and Thanksgiving dinner turns into a family fight when George Sr. is offered a job in Oklahoma.

Airdate: Thursday, November 15, 2015

Please remember that there is no Big Bang Theory discussion in the episode topics, it does not exist here. 

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I wouldn't have taken Georgie for a Golden Girls fan, but that little mention was hilarious.

Wasnt expecting Sheldon to burst into tears mid-report. Genius or not, he's still a little boy.

I have to ask: is there really a grudge between Texas and Oklahoma?

Edited by Spartan Girl
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Golden Girls was hugely popular, even with younger people. I loved Georgie’s lurve of them.

11 minutes ago, Spartan Girl said:

I have to ask: is there really a grudge between Texas and Oklahoma?

YES.

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Yes! I live in Tulsa, huge rivalry. I'm not from here, I just live here, I don't really care, I'm from Missouri, but they drive me crazy. And at least the show did send a crew to actually film at TU, it's a beautiful campus. But I'm not sure how much of a mathematics program TU has, they're very big in turning out oil engineers. And lawyers. 

I loved Mary's dress in the last scene. I had one very similar in the 70s, I loved that dress. But I thought she was a bit of an ass also.

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There’s also a big Texas/Louisiana rivalry as well, it’s all very sports-related.

John’s amazing ability to catch things was totally a missed opportunity that he never became a hockey goalie. He’d have been great. If he’s lived in Texas his whole life, it totally makes sense, as there aren’t a whole lot of opportunities to play hockey.

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But in college football, TU isn't exactly the top tier. I think it's a better level than high school football. On the other hand TU seems to get a lot of oil money. It's an expensive, private school. They're very popular here in Tulsa, but it's also easier for eastern Oklahoma football fans to get to games than driving to Norman or Stillwell. But OK is a fairly small state, I was kind of surprised when I moved here. But Oral Roberts Univ. is also popular here, what do I know? Like I said, I'm from Missouri, home to the KC Chiefs, but my college was a small state school, home to the Fighting Missouri Mules. No, really, the Fighting Mules.

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1 hour ago, Snow Apple said:

Bit of a nitpick but Georgie said Blanche dated a little person. It was Rose, not Blanche.

I felt bad for George Sr. too. Coaching college football is the big times and they also have a house for him. 

Ugh! I'm a Golden Girls whore, and the writers botching that detail grates. They play that episode all the freaking time in reruns, I can't believe they got that wrong. Not to mention there's always Google. 

I agree Mary was an ass with regards to the move. I don't blame George for being pissed. It would've been a better opportunity for the family and she wouldn't even entertain a conversation about it. I doubt the kids have any real attachment to Medford. Georgie could care less about school, Sheldon lives in his own world and Missy can adapt to anything. This was the first time I really disliked her.

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8 hours ago, Snow Apple said:

I felt bad for George Sr. too. Coaching college football is the big times and they also have a house for him. 

 I bet it was even a four bedroom house where twins could’ve had their own rooms.

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9 hours ago, Spartan Girl said:

I have to ask: is there really a grudge between Texas and Oklahoma?

On one of Nanci Griffith's albums (I think One Fair Summer Evening), she tells a story about her great-aunt Mettie May during the Dust Bowl, when the wind blew so hard that she was afraid to go to sleep at night because she might wake up in Oklahoma.  And she, by God, didn't want to live in Oklahoma!

So the rivalry goes way back.  :)

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Is there any reason Connie couldn’t move with them? They could get a five-bedroom, or buy a two-family house in Tulsa, if they exist?

Georgie really sold the “It was sooo good” regarding the GG episode he enjoyed. 

I don’t buy Missy saying, “Yeah, you were,” after Connie told John that he was never a loser.  She is a nice person. 

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12 hours ago, friendperidot said:

Yes! I live in Tulsa, huge rivalry. I'm not from here, I just live here, I don't really care, I'm from Missouri, but they drive me crazy. And at least the show did send a crew to actually film at TU, it's a beautiful campus. But I'm not sure how much of a mathematics program TU has, they're very big in turning out oil engineers. And lawyers. 

I loved Mary's dress in the last scene. I had one very similar in the 70s, I loved that dress. But I thought she was a bit of an ass also.

I loved the red dress she wore for Thanksgiving dinner.

”I’m thankful that there are two Ghostbusters movies.” (paraphrasing)

”Is that all?”

”Unless you know there are more...?”

 

Looooved Tam’s report. 

Loved (paraphrasing): “my dad will try to reassert his male dominance in an ineffectual way.”

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They can't be that attached to Medford. They haven't lived there all that long because George mentioned last year they had to move when he lost his prior coaching job.  I really was on his side in this:  yes, any move can be upsetting for a family, but families move all the freaking time and eventually adjust. This would have been a huge opportunity for them and there's no reason Connie couldn't go along if she wanted to.  And Mary could find another church in Oklahoma. They have a lot of them. I'm wondering if this is the beginning of the end for George and Mary. This may not be something he ever gets over. 

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18 minutes ago, hoodooznoodooz said:

”I’m thankful that there are two Ghostbusters movies.” (paraphrasing)

Cartoons, which is true and such a perfect late 80s detail. There was a kid's cartoon based on the movie called The Real Ghostbusters. They had to call it that because there was another cartoon, a spinoff of a 70s TV show that already had the rights to Ghostbusters. Both shows started airing in 1986 and it was very confusing. Most people I knew preferred The Real Ghostbusters because it had Slimer and the other movie characters.

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12 hours ago, kariyaki said:

John’s amazing ability to catch things was totally a missed opportunity that he never became a hockey goalie. He’d have been great. If he’s lived in Texas his whole life, it totally makes sense, as there aren’t a whole lot of opportunities to play hockey.

Unfortunately, he was too late for the Houston Aeros.

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46 minutes ago, Anakerie said:

They can't be that attached to Medford. They haven't lived there all that long because George mentioned last year they had to move when he lost his prior coaching job.  I really was on his side in this:  yes, any move can be upsetting for a family, but families move all the freaking time and eventually adjust. This would have been a huge opportunity for them and there's no reason Connie couldn't go along if she wanted to.  And Mary could find another church in Oklahoma. They have a lot of them. I'm wondering if this is the beginning of the end for George and Mary. This may not be something he ever gets over. 

I could see this being a catalyst for a lot of resentment on George's part, especially if they run into money troubles or he gets let go from his current position. 

Mary was making it all about Connie, but Connie is an active, vibrant woman with a life of her own. I don't think she would've been all that devastated if they moved, and like you said, she's always free to go with them if she chooses.

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14 hours ago, Frost said:

I would have thought George getting a job at a university would have been a big draw for Sheldon and therefore Mary would have been very tempted.  Don't children of employees get free tuition?  And they'd be on campus so it wouldn't mean driving Sheldon to Dallas or wherever.

If not free tution at least a significant discount. 

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52 minutes ago, HurricaneVal said:

Georgie looks at Missy and quietly says "Just watch the TV" while turning up the volume.  It was the best amount of comfort he could give to her, and to himself.  It was poignant little scene and it nearly made me cry.

Yes!  And a second tug at the heartstrings was Sheldon's voiceover when he realized what a sacrifice George had made for the family.

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17 hours ago, ChitChat said:

I thought Mary was being a bit of an ass in her approach to the situation.  She could've at least entertained the idea while discussing the pro's and cons of the move with George.  

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I agree.  I hate the whole passive-aggressive fighting, both on TV and IRL.   However, I did think it was quite realistic, based on how these characters have been portrayed in this show.  We saw in the first season how George was personally defeated about having lost his old job and taking a job that was a step down in his mind.  Mary, on the other hand, was starting to find herself in their current situation.  As Sheldon said, it was a zero-sum game.

And while I thought it was realistic the way these two characters handled things, I did really hate how they tried to rope the kids and Meemaw into their argument.  Even if led to an emotional moment for Sheldon (which led to an emotional moment for me!), I think Sheldon did the healthiest thing possible by staying out of it.

This was probably the least funny episode, but I also think it was the most well-done episode of the season.

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They should have gone.  They've been complaining about money problems and this would have been more money.  George would have been challenged at his new job.  Mary could probably find a job as a church secretary in Tulsa.  Despite Sheldon's emotional outburst about his olfactory sense being assaulted, he would have been fine, and he probably would have been happier taking classes at TU or UT, whichever it is.  Even if they're not big at math, they're probably at least a bit more advanced than high school.  Missy is the type to make friends easily.  I'd say Georgie was the only real concern.  He likes his job, he's carved out his high school niche.  Maybe MeeMaw would have let him stay with her.

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4 minutes ago, Katy M said:

They should have gone.  They've been complaining about money problems and this would have been more money.  George would have been challenged at his new job.  Mary could probably find a job as a church secretary in Tulsa.  Despite Sheldon's emotional outburst about his olfactory sense being assaulted, he would have been fine, and he probably would have been happier taking classes at TU or UT, whichever it is.  Even if they're not big at math, they're probably at least a bit more advanced than high school.  Missy is the type to make friends easily.  I'd say Georgie was the only real concern.  He likes his job, he's carved out his high school niche.  Maybe MeeMaw would have let him stay with her.

 

I agree with this, especially the bolded part.  Sheldon doesn't like change (but, really, what 10-year-old kid does?), but he also had no real attachment to Texas, other than Meemaw.  Honestly, his biggest problem had they moved probably would have been the smell of a new house.  And while I agree that Missy would have been fine, I'm not so sure it would have been a problem for Georgie either.  I get that transferring schools in high school is tough, but it seemed like his life *had been* football, but that had already changed.  And while he enjoyed working at the auto shop, I don't think it was so much that he enjoyed working at *that* auto shop.  I'm sure there would be mechanics in Oklahoma who would love to have Georgie and his tire-whispering talents.

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I guess I'm the only one who didn't think they should have gone.  Georgie has a job and is building towards a possible career, Mary is also working somewhere she  loves and Sheldon has the support of a loving grandmother and of the professor.  And George, well George - I just don't know if I'd want to relocate my family based on a job for George.  I'm actually surprised, based on what we've seen of him and work so far, that he was even approached about this opportunity.

Edited by CherryAmes
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22 minutes ago, CherryAmes said:

I guess I'm the only one who didn't think they should have gone.  Georgie has a job and is building towards a possible career, Mary is also working somewhere she  loves and Sheldon has the support of a loving grandmother and of the professor.  And George, well George - I just don't know if I'd want to relocate my family based on a job for George.  I'm actually surprised, based on what we've seen of him and work so far, that he was even approached about this opportunity.

We haven't really seen that much of him at work.  But, setting that aside, he's the main breadwinner for the family.  Mary's job is part time--not something you give up a great opportunity for.

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6 minutes ago, Katy M said:

But, setting that aside, he's the main breadwinner for the family.

For me this is part of the problem.  My understanding of coaches for football is that they can be fired pretty easily if the team isn't doing well.  Call me a pessimist but I just don't know how comfortable I'd be taking a chance like that - giving up a secure job in a town where my family has an established support network - for a job in another state that may not work out.  I guess my risk taking days are behind me but I don't blame Mary for being concerned even though I don't think the concerns she had are the same concerns I would have had.

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2 hours ago, CherryAmes said:

I guess I'm the only one who didn't think they should have gone.  Georgie has a job and is building towards a possible career, Mary is also working somewhere she  loves and Sheldon has the support of a loving grandmother and of the professor.  And George, well George - I just don't know if I'd want to relocate my family based on a job for George.  I'm actually surprised, based on what we've seen of him and work so far, that he was even approached about this opportunity.

For me, it wasn't an issue of whether or not they were going to go, but rather how Mary and George handled the conflict.  

One thing that I forgot to add in my earlier posts was that I did appreciate that Meemaw was "the adult in the room" when this all blew up.  Yeah, she sort of played along with Mary at first, but she did have a vested interest in seeing her grandchildren.  But when the shit hit the fan, she was the one looking out for the kids.

And here is my dumb question for this episode (did I totally miss the early 90s?  Seriously, it kind of feels like that!)  When the fiero backfired or whatever that was...what was that?  I can't even recall hearing of fieros, but were they cars that were notorious for their problems?

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When the fiero backfired or whatever that was...what was that? 

Fiero's were famous for engine fires (122 occurred while they were being driven).

Mary basically told George they are stuck in that town forever. He can aspire to nothing more than a high school coach. Connie is young and spry. If they can't leave because Mary wants to live close to her Mom and due to Mary's part-time, low-wage job, when will it ever be a good time to go?  If she's ever unhappy about how much money they have, she will need to look in the mirror.

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I'm still thinking about this episode and I agree that they should have moved. But even more than that, instead of Mary immediately shutting down the idea, I wish the family had gone with George to the interview. They could have checked out the area, the stadium, etc. They might have even found themselves excited to move. In any case, I do see this as the beginning of the end for George and Mary. 

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On 11/15/2018 at 6:46 PM, Frost said:

I would have thought George getting a job at a university would have been a big draw for Sheldon and therefore Mary would have been very tempted.  Don't children of employees get free tuition?  And they'd be on campus so it wouldn't mean driving Sheldon to Dallas or wherever.

Yeah, free or reduced tuition, plus many college towns have generally good public schools all around them. Coaches *do* get fired but they also generally have contracts that have to be paid out. It should have been an easy call. 

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8 hours ago, CherryAmes said:

I guess I'm the only one who didn't think they should have gone.  Georgie has a job and is building towards a possible career, Mary is also working somewhere she  loves and Sheldon has the support of a loving grandmother and of the professor.  And George, well George - I just don't know if I'd want to relocate my family based on a job for George.  I'm actually surprised, based on what we've seen of him and work so far, that he was even approached about this opportunity.

I guess we're the only ones.  I didn't think it was plausible that George would have been approached for that opportunity by a school so far away.  The show hasn't made much of him being a great coach and in demand.  If he's that sought after and wants to advance he could always apply to more local colleges.  I hate it when shows make a missed or passed up opportunity look like that character's one and only chance never to come 'round again.....

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3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I guess we're the only ones.  I didn't think it was plausible that George would have been approached for that opportunity by a school so far away.  The show hasn't made much of him being a great coach and in demand.  If he's that sought after and wants to advance he could always apply to more local colleges.  I hate it when shows make a missed or passed up opportunity look like that character's one and only chance never to come 'round again.....

Maybe a former student that he used to coach goes there and keeps talking about this great coach he had, they checked him out and decided they liked him?  Or another coach he worked wit is a coach up there now. He's not even head coach at his high school, so if he did come to the attention of a college somehow, no it's not likely to happen again, because it was a fluke of something like that, not because he's in high demand.  Passing it up was beyond stupid.

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On 11/15/2018 at 9:46 PM, kariyaki said:

Golden Girls was hugely popular, even with younger people. I loved Georgie’s lurve of them.

Yep. I'm younger than the kids on the show, but I remember watching the show with my grandma in the late 80's when we stayed at her house. Loved this too.
 

1 hour ago, Katy M said:

Maybe a former student that he used to coach goes there and keeps talking about this great coach he had, they checked him out and decided they liked him?  Or another coach he worked wit is a coach up there now. He's not even head coach at his high school, so if he did come to the attention of a college somehow, no it's not likely to happen again, because it was a fluke of something like that, not because he's in high demand.  Passing it up was beyond stupid.

Yeah there are all sorts of ways that he could have gotten on the radar. My own high school program had a couple coaches get hired by college programs, and neither was a genius or what you would call "in demand." One got the job because a friend of a friend was hired and put in a good word and one was hired because we had produced multiple highly rated prospects and the school though hiring him would give them a chance of convincing those prospects to come start for them instead of sitting on the bench for a few years at one of the bigger colleges that were also recruiting them. So I think it was totally believable and have no problem with them not telling us why they were interviewing George since it wasn't really important to the story.

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How he got on their radar was never addressed as far as I could tell and since this is the first episode of this show that I didn't particularly like I probably won't watch it again.  However it was a logic fail for me and one of the reasons I could sympathize way more with Mary not wanting such a big change at this point in her life.  If they'd always been moving to further George's career I could see things differently but from what I recall they do end up back in their hometown because of a job loss for George (fired IIRC).  So it's not like Mary has never relocated for George's job before. 

:shrug: I agree this episode is probably setting the stage for further conflicts in the marriage but I resent like hell that in typical Lorre fashion they're making the woman in the relationship come across as demanding and manipulative.  If this kind of thing is going to become a regular part of the show I'm bowing out.

Edited by CherryAmes
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26 minutes ago, CherryAmes said:

How he got on their radar was never addressed as far as I could tell and since this the first episode of this show that I didn't particularly like I probably won't watch it again.  However it was a logic fail for me and one of the reasons I could sympathize way more with Mary not wanting such a big change at this point in her life.  If they'd always been moving to further George's career I could see things differently but from what I recall they do end up back in their hometown because of a job loss for George (fired IIRC).  So it's not like Mary has never relocated for George's job before. 

:shrug: I agree this episode is probably setting the stage for further conflicts in the marriage but I resent like hell that in typical Lorre fashion they're making the woman in the relationship come across as demanding and manipulative.  If this kind of thing is going to become a regular part of the show I'm bowing out.

This.....I don't like that they're making her the "bad guy" either.  I know a lot of husbands (and wives) that would never uproot their families even if opportunities beckoned elsewhere if the family wasn't really on board with it.  There's nothing wrong with that, it's called making a sacrifice for one's family and it's been done for ages.  And it's not a given that it would have really been the best thing for all of them.  I personally think that George and Mary's marital problems pre-exist this episode, and are not caused by her reticence toward moving, so moving would probably only cause increased strain between them, not be the cure.

I thought George buying the Fiero was a defiant act of selfishness, not the act of someone that really has his family's best interests at heart.  I thought it was immature to tell the truth.

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32 minutes ago, CherryAmes said:

How he got on their radar was never addressed as far as I could tell

I would think it relates back to when Sheldon was doing a lot of the play calling for his dad based on the odds.  The Medford high school team ran a lot of non-standard plays because Sheldon calculated they were more successful than conventional wisdom believed.  That could have gotten the attention of a college team.

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 I didn't think it was plausible that George would have been approached for that opportunity by a school so far away.  The show hasn't made much of him being a great coach and in demand.  If he's that sought after and wants to advance he could always apply to more local colleges.

It was established in the Pilot that George had a good job coaching football in Gavelston. He found out that other coaches were breaking the rules (recruiting kids from other schools) and reported them. Rather than punish the rule breakers, they chose to fire the whistle blower. And it ruined his reputation so he had trouble getting a job. 

So, it is possible that he was offered the job based on his Gavelston job. Given that his current job is a step down. we could assume that his pervious job was at a school that had a higher profile football program and/or he was the head coach. Maybe some of those kids went on to do well at Tulsa which got him on their radar. Or since the Tulsa coach was from Texas, he may have already had some Texas high school coaches on his radar.

While George may have ruined his reputation in Texas, Tulsa might have seen his reputation as an advantage. In 1989 (YS starts in 1989), there was a scandal at Oklahoma University which forced the head football coach to resign (NCAA put the football program on a 3 year probation for rule-breaking including recruiting violations. There were also a number of athletes in the program that were arrested in 1989 for breaking some pretty significant laws).  Perhaps hiring somebody who is a good coach and has a reputation for being a rule-follower/whistle-blower was seen as good move in other Oklahoma colleges at the time.   

George may not get many opportunities where his whistle-blowing will be seen as an advantage rather than a concern (Oklahoma wouldn't have been the only college breaking a few NCAA rules during that era). 

Edited by kili
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On 11/15/2018 at 9:34 PM, Spartan Girl said:

Wasnt expecting Sheldon to burst into tears mid-report. Genius or not, he's still a little boy.

And I found that very refreshing to see that he is still a little boy.  I hope that cry he had felt good since from what I've seen it doesn't happen often....and maybe should.

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On 11/16/2018 at 10:22 PM, kili said:

Fiero's were famous for engine fires (122 occurred while they were being driven).

Mary basically told George they are stuck in that town forever. He can aspire to nothing more than a high school coach. Connie is young and spry. If they can't leave because Mary wants to live close to her Mom and due to Mary's part-time, low-wage job, when will it ever be a good time to go?  If she's ever unhappy about how much money they have, she will need to look in the mirror.

Shouldn’t you immediately exit a car if the engine is burning? And find a fire extinguisher?

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On 11/17/2018 at 10:08 AM, Yeah No said:

I personally think that George and Mary's marital problems pre-exist this episode, and are not caused by her reticence toward moving, so moving would probably only cause increased strain between them, not be the cure.

Absolutely.  I did a lot of relocating for my husband's career but we (the kids and I) were very much on board with it and enjoyed it thoroughly.  But we met a lot of expats over the years and  some of the women we met (rarely came across a family relocating for her job - mostly always for his) were very resentful.  They missed their families back home, missed the lives they had led and were basically marking time until they could get back home.  Expecting Mary to be excited about a move away from her hometown, away from her Mother and away from her church and job was a big stretch. And George buying that car?  What was that all about?  It seemed to me like he was choosing a swinging "me, me, me" life over his family.  And then in the end he chose the family.  So George is conflicted?  Middle life crisis?  Found this whole episode unsatisfying and confusing.

Edited by BlossomCulp
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I wouldn't count Mary's part-time job as a career she should make the family stay in Texas for, but it's a fair point that families move most often for the husband's job. I just can't believe that there weren't lots of high-school football coaches' families moving around all the time in Texas as jobs came and went. 

Speaking of Tulsa: https://www.sfgate.com/expensive-san-francisco/article/cash-to-relocate-cheap-cities-work-remotely-tulsa-13396414.php

Edited by Mystery
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31 minutes ago, Mystery said:

I wouldn't count Mary's part-time job as a career she should make the family stay in Texas for

Is it part time?  She seems to work very long hours - I remember the episode where she got the job that she wasn't going to get home until 6 (which I totally question) but I do agree with your point that people relocate mostly for the major breadwinner which George certainly would be.  I doubt the church job would pay much more than whatever minimum wage would have been at the time.

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On 11/16/2018 at 8:40 AM, anna0852 said:

Poor George! This was a big crack in the marriage tonight. Mary was absolutley wrong to not have a discussion. This could have been a game-changer for their family in so many ways. More money, larger house, better educational options for Sheldon, a happier Dad, less tension between George and Connie, etc...

Mary was a bitch and this was the first time I've actively disliked her. She shot George down immediately, and then went whining to her mother to team up against her husband, instead of having a discussion with him. 

The family has had money problems since day one. The move was worth seriously considering -- especially since they offered him the job. 

Didn't George say the job was about 100 miles away? Even if Connie stayed in Medford, that's a two-hour car ride (probably less) away.

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13 hours ago, SmithW6079 said:

Mary was a bitch and this was the first time I've actively disliked her. She shot George down immediately, and then went whining to her mother to team up against her husband, instead of having a discussion with him. 

The family has had money problems since day one. The move was worth seriously considering -- especially since they offered him the job. 

Didn't George say the job was about 100 miles away? Even if Connie stayed in Medford, that's a two-hour car ride (probably less) away.

I think it was more than 100 miles. Maybe even 400. It's possible that George could still live in that house in Tulsa, but that kind of separation is hard on a marriage, especially when a special kid like Sheldon is involved. During the football season he wouldn't have much time to come home for a couple days.

I actually have some family experience in a coach going from high school to college, then back again. The jobs are different; the college job won't involve any classroom work, but it would involve more actual hours and travel - both to games and, in the off season, recruiting trips. But the money would definitely be better, and would be great for a resume, especially in football-mad Texas.

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I actually didn't hate Mary over her unwillingness to move. I see her point. Not everyone wants to leave their family. Connie can't move. Poor John could never ride his bicycle that far. But I also see that George would want to take the chance. But they've taken that chance before and wound up right back in their hometown. As for the destruction of their marriage- yes, Sheldon says it happened. But Sheldon isn't the most reliable source of remembering other people's emotions. There are people in this universe who see two fights and that is all they remember of their childhood. (And firmly believe "My parents fought ALL the time.")

So, these writers can figure out that Alf hosted the Macy's parade that year, but can't remember that it was Rose- not Blanche? Or can we just go with it because it's possible Georgie would get the characters confused? Nope- I'm mad at the writers for not knowing the difference between Rose and Blanche.

Either way- John and Missy were the best in this episode. Him deciding to thank George and Mary during their fight cracked me up! And turning dinner into a sandwich "What can I say? I'm a creature of habit."

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