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S09.E12: Trials and Tribulations


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As someone who dissected more starfish in the 1990s than was, perhaps, strictly necessary (in marine biology camp (oh yes), AP Bio, and freshman year zoology lab) I want to note another dumb thing about the stupid "Dylan releases the starfish" retcon story: the starfish that you dissect are not alive, they come preserved from Carolina Biological Supply or whatever. So I am forced to conclude that Dylan just dumped a big bucket of dead starfish and formalin into the bay. Nice work!

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Now, in my memory, the "OMG will Donna die?!?!" ending cliffhung on Donna still facedown in the pool, but maybe I'm conflating that with Brooke's pool-based demise on "Melrose Place".  Still, it's one of the last touchstones of the later years I remember.

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Doesn't Dylan have some kind of collapse immediately after knocking Donna into the pool (to explain why he doesn't help her)? I guess it doesn't matter because it's not like Donna has a brain to damage from lack of oxygen.

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Now, in my memory, the "OMG will Donna die?!?!" ending cliffhung on Donna still facedown in the pool, but maybe I'm conflating that with Brooke's pool-based demise on "Melrose Place".  Still, it's one of the last touchstones of the later years I remember.

Aww, RIP Brooke. Billy, shut up forever.

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13 hours ago, TeeVee329 said:

Now, in my memory, the "OMG will Donna die?!?!" ending cliffhung on Donna still facedown in the pool, but maybe I'm conflating that with Brooke's pool-based demise on "Melrose Place".  Still, it's one of the last touchstones of the later years I remember.

Mte.

Ngl, tho, I would've totally been down on Donna's ghost coming back to haunt Dylan like Brooke did to Billy. Unless that was all Billy's imagination. Melrose was never clear on that. 

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According to the gif, Dylan knocks Donna into the pool (Dylan 2020!) which is water as far as the eye can see in the direction she falls, with the round bit front right of screen. Then she presumably catapults across the water or torques substantially to smack her dumb baby head on either the far end of the pool or the round protruding part. I keep watching it and it doesn't make sense either way.

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If I didn’t think it would be too cruel to the rest of the world, I would request the new sound drop and use it as my textmessage tone. 

Isn’t it a little eeird to have Dylan come back and let him be totally unlikeable amd disgusting? At least he had his charming moments in earlier seasons. But a gunwawing drugaddict as a “special guest star” leading man of the show? 

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The bear's name is Honeytongue? I have to assume that Donna's concern is that the bear will be jealous, as with that name, he was the thing that pleasured her throughout her perpetual virginity.

"We can't do it in front of Honeytongue, that was his job. He'll be mad!"

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And so what Kelly, being all upset cause she doesn’t know what’s going on ... your boyfriend is his lawyer-he can’t tell you. And IF Dylan wanted you to know what’s going on with him, he would tell you.  Mind your own yard 

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2 hours ago, Cekrypton1 said:

The bear's name is Honeytongue? I have to assume that Donna's concern is that the bear will be jealous, as with that name, he was the thing that pleasured her throughout her perpetual virginity.

"We can't do it in front of Honeytongue, that was his job. He'll be mad!"

This is only a marginal improvement but I think it's Honey Tum.

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I can confirm attorneys generally are not permitted in small claims court.

I also love Dylan's shade about wanting another lawyer besides Matt and Gina telling Kelly to GTFO when she's talking to Matt about Dylan's issues.  A home invasion accompanied by armed criminal action can carry a substantial sentence.  Given that Dylan has no prior convictions (I seem to remember Jesse got him probation from his heroin-induced car crash with conditions of it being wiped off his record if he completed rehab), his actual sentence might be less than Matt estimated.

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