Ashley & Jay: Giving Us the D Every {Sunday} Night

[sconstant]

9 hours ago, funky-rat said:

Exactly.  This market is in Lemoyne, which is a small boro across the river from Harrisburg.  Interracial couples are NOT unusual here, but seeing someone being followed around by a film crew IS unusual here.  I'm not saying there is no racism here, because there is (there is everywhere, sadly), but I think Ashley over-reacted in this case.  We were in Camp Hill this weekend - not too much different than Mechanicsburg, and right next door to it - and there were interracial couples and kids of all colors and creeds and abilities playing together - no one batted an eye.  But if a film crew had been interjected, everyone would have stopped and stared.

I agree that people being filmed who we saw, blurred out, swivel-headed were staring because of the film crew. 

But: I kind of assume that the producers and the couple, through discussions and whatever, have come up with some possible points of drama, and in those discussions it came up that Jay and Ashley feel like (or were worried that) the area is not that accepting of the interracial nature of their relationship, and so the producers in their quest for usable footage towards this say "ok, let's go to the market, and while we're there we can discuss that when you take a trip like this you feel like people are staring."

It could be true for her neighborhood or people she knows and not for this market where they got filming permissions, but I feel Jay/Ashley weren't saying "here in this trip to this market with pickles we are finding that people are staring" but rather "this is something that happens to us."  And I am not ready to say that they're wrong, just because this illustration is super skewed by their assembled crew.

[guilfoyleatpp]

If I may point out one difference between Ashley/Jay and Melanie/Devar, I have observed a rather monumental shift in the way people react to people of color in the time between our exposure to the two relationships. I personally have observed this in regards to my marriage. Some people work extra hard to be nicer but the way that microaggressions have escalated is alarming.

You really can sense when someone is just absentmindedly giving resting bitch face vs. staring someone hard because they think my husband is going to do...something. I don't know.  We've been together since 2002 and I've seen more incidents these past 18 months or so than the entire time before that. 

In addition, there has been an immense amount of publicity in police shootings of unarmed people of color since Melanie and Devar, specifically men who are visually identifiable as being of African descent.

In this situation I do think some people were staring because of the cameras, but it's quite likely others were staring because of the cameras AND because Jay is a black man wandering around their area. 

I'm not going to argue fine points because I'm not interested in trying to "convince" anyone, but I also don't think we can hand wave the experience that we're being shown.  

Edited December 6, 2018 by guilfoyleatpp

[funky-rat]

12 hours ago, sconstant said:

I agree that people being filmed who we saw, blurred out, swivel-headed were staring because of the film crew. 

But: I kind of assume that the producers and the couple, through discussions and whatever, have come up with some possible points of drama, and in those discussions it came up that Jay and Ashley feel like (or were worried that) the area is not that accepting of the interracial nature of their relationship, and so the producers in their quest for usable footage towards this say "ok, let's go to the market, and while we're there we can discuss that when you take a trip like this you feel like people are staring."

It could be true for her neighborhood or people she knows and not for this market where they got filming permissions, but I feel Jay/Ashley weren't saying "here in this trip to this market with pickles we are finding that people are staring" but rather "this is something that happens to us."  And I am not ready to say that they're wrong, just because this illustration is super skewed by their assembled crew.

 

11 hours ago, guilfoyleatpp said:

If I may point out one difference between Ashley/Jay and Melanie/Devar, I have observed a rather monumental shift in the way people react to people of color in the time between our exposure to the two relationships. I personally have observed this in regards to my marriage. Some people work extra hard to be nicer but the way that microaggressions have escalated is alarming.

You really can sense when someone is just absentmindedly giving resting bitch face vs. staring someone hard because they think my husband is going to do...something. I don't know.  We've been together since 2002 and I've seen more incidents these past 18 months or so than the entire time before that. 

In addition, there has been an immense amount of publicity in police shootings of unarmed people of color since Melanie and Devar, specifically men who are visually identifiable as being of African descent.

In this situation I do think some people were staring because of the cameras, but it's quite likely others were staring because of the cameras AND because Jay is a black man wandering around their area. 

I'm not going to argue fine points because I'm not interested in trying to "convince" anyone, but I also don't think we can hand wave the experience that we're being shown.  

I am sorry to those of you who experienced it, because it's not right.  I try very hard to make sure I'm not giving off any bad vibes toward everyone.  I guess I have not expressed well enough that I'm more angry at the producers than anything else for making it look like the general area I live in is intolerance ground zero.  I don't discount Jay's fears, but I don't think Ashley is helping matters, but I'm also willing to concede she may be getting a bad edit.  Less than 20 miles up the road from where Melanie and Devar live, a Mexican man was murdered in the street by 3 high school kids "because he was here illegally".  That happened before Devar moved there.  And there are a lot of people in that area that felt the kids got a raw deal, blamed the victim because he shouldn't have been here to begin with, etc.  I avoid that area like the plague ever since that happened because I don't want any part of their community and don't want to support them in any way, shape, or form.  But that was never mentioned on the show.  Maybe it was because they opted to focus on Melanie's sister -  I don't know.  I agree that things have changed, and not for the better.  Sadly, I see bad behavior and horrible comments from people I thought I knew (some for years) and sadly, some non-immediate family.  I have distanced myself from them because I want no part of it.  I just wish the producers would be more honest with their stuff, but then there wouldn't be drama, and apparently that's what they think we want to see.  And if this is the way they're going to continue to go, I may opt out of future seasons.

[lucy711]

Regarding the racist comments made on Ashley and Jay's wedding website- apparently she said on Instagram that they discovered the comments came from one individual who she knows.  I think it is some ex-boyfriend of hers who is bitter and quite a jerk!

[WonderWuman73]

Ashley and Eric (hanging out in NY What look like after the tell all) 

Edited December 11, 2018 by WonderWuman73

[GrannySmith]

4 hours ago, WonderWuman73 said:

Ashley and Eric (hanging out in NY What look like after the tell all) 

Looks like Botox in Eric’s forehead. 

[AZChristian]

7 hours ago, GrannySmith said:

Looks like Botox in Eric’s forehead. 

And I hope Ashley doesn't catch a cold in her nether regions, there being not much covering.

[gonecrackers]

1 hour ago, AZChristian said:

And I hope Ashley doesn't catch a cold in her nether regions, there being not much covering.

With the blazer on top of whatever that is she might be going for a boardroom to bedroom look.

[TonyasBlueEyeshado]

On 12/11/2018 at 3:23 AM, WonderWuman73 said:

Ashley and Eric (hanging out in NY What look like after the tell all) 

Nice weave, Ashley.

[Owwwww ma leg]

She’s going for her low rent Jessica Simpson look. As for eye bags no amount of fillers is going to fix that! I think he looks older in that photo.

Edited December 13, 2018 by Owwwww ma leg

[Rdh1314]

On 12/11/2018 at 3:23 AM, WonderWuman73 said:

Ashley and Eric (hanging out in NY What look like after the tell all) 

 

Maybe she should have a top on under the blazer....so people don't get the wrong idea about her.  😏

Edited December 13, 2018 by Rdh1314
Obviously I'm sure she does, but sure doesn't look like it!!!

[liammaam]

Natalie this week: 

[Granny58]

I had to run over to Mechanicsburg today and I swear I saw somebody who looks exactly like Ashley.  If she drives a big gray truck, that was her.  Otherwise, it was her doppleganger. 

[Gobi]

27 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

I had to run over to Mechanicsburg today and I swear I saw somebody who looks exactly like Ashley.  If she drives a big gray truck, that was her.  Otherwise, it was her doppleganger. 

Did she pull over for the sexy?

[funky-rat]

50 minutes ago, Granny58 said:

I had to run over to Mechanicsburg today and I swear I saw somebody who looks exactly like Ashley.  If she drives a big gray truck, that was her.  Otherwise, it was her doppleganger. 

I saw someone with two kids (looked to be elementary school age) at Dave and Buster's at Capital City Mall who looked similar to Ashley, and I tried not to stare, but it ended up not being her.

[Honey]

17 hours ago, Granny58 said:

I had to run over to Mechanicsburg today and I swear I saw somebody who looks exactly like Ashley.  If she drives a big gray truck, that was her.  Otherwise, it was her doppleganger. 

Doesn't she have a white Nissan Rogue?

So what does Jay do to Ashley that has her so upset?  In the previews she says something like "You made that account right after we were married".  I think it's an account for an online dating site.  What do you all think?  I don't think it has anything to do with a bank account, because of the way she phrased it.

[NannyBails]

On 12/10/2018 at 8:19 AM, lucy711 said:

Regarding the racist comments made on Ashley and Jay's wedding website- apparently she said on Instagram that they discovered the comments came from one individual who she knows.  I think it is some ex-boyfriend of hers who is bitter and quite a jerk!

If someone on social media threatened to come to my wedding and shoot me up, you'd best believe that I would call the authorities and report it.    Did Ashley do that?  I don't remember them even talking about this on the show.

[funky-rat]

49 minutes ago, NannyBails said:

If someone on social media threatened to come to my wedding and shoot me up, you'd best believe that I would call the authorities and report it.    Did Ashley do that?  I don't remember them even talking about this on the show.

I don't think so.  Just a trip to a winery to meet the two girls who were on the aftershow to tell them they were cancelling the wedding.  It was on some website later that supposedly the person who did it was someone she used to date, but nothing further about that person being punished, how they figured out it was him, etc.

[Teri313]

I think it would be really irresponsible of them (TLC) not to clear that up on the show, considering the implication was that they were being attacked/threatened by a slew of racist Americans intolerant of bi-racial relationships. If it's just one asshole who she used to date, then they should make that clear.

[peaceknit]

Dunno if anyone's posted this yet, but girlfriend does NOT need to be laying out in the sun, because she has that pale white, no-tan skin! Her face is already showing signs of sun damage and wrinkles.

[Rdh1314]

On 12/22/2018 at 1:17 PM, Teri313 said:

I think it would be really irresponsible of them (TLC) not to clear that up on the show, considering the implication was that they were being attacked/threatened by a slew of racist Americans intolerant of bi-racial relationships. If it's just one asshole who she used to date, then they should make that clear.

LOL!  I was blasted for being "racist and bigoted against an entire nation " because I simply made factual statements about sexuality in Jamaica.  There are quite a few longitudinal studies regarding this. 

I didn't believe for a second that there were multiple, dozens, HUNDREDS of racist people picking on Ashley and this very young man.

Jay is basically a kid.   With hormones . Who grew up in Jamaica. 

Ashley is a train wreck.   Which given her past traumatic experiences is understandable. 

[Teri313]

Well, I just think that TLC is desperately trying to make the Jay and Ashley storyline a condemnation to a certain degree on American's and that we are racists, when we really haven't seen anything that supports that. They (Jay?) complained about being uncomfortable because people were staring at them in the market. Well, that's what happens when a camera crew is following you around. People are curious. They want to know if it's someone famous. It's almost 2019, it's not that unusual to see bi-racial couples. And if you do, people aren't staring and point or threatening them or making rude comments. I have never witnessed anything like that. And what has the rest of his experience been like since he's been here? People welcoming him with open arms - her friends at the party they threw for him, the wedding venue guy. The only person who's been a problem (aside from the ex-boyfriend) is what's-her-name (Natalie?), but her problem is that he's a player and she thinks (and is probably right) that he cheated on her. I just really don't think TLC needs to create a racial problem. If there is truly an incident, fine, but it looks completely manufactured to me at this point.

[LilaFowler]

So he has been cheating on her the whole time and when Ashley finds out, she runs to Natalie. In real time, she and Jay are at war with Natalie on social media?

Ashley is so, so dumb. Can't wait until Jay has kids with other women while still married to her.

[sainte-chapelle]

Jay joined Tinder because he was "bored"? Okay join a meet up group and hang out with people with similar interests.

[magemaud]

This article suggests that they were broken up even before the season aired: https://soapdirt.com/90-day-fiance-spoilers-ashley-martson-jay-smith-hide-breakup-trouble-in-paradise/

We've been frauded again, folks! 

Edited to add, after tossing around this idea overnight...Could it be that this whole season with Ashley and Jay was filmed over the course of a few days instead of 90? If Ashley and Jay had already broken up before filming, which wouldn't surprise me, maybe production decided to film them anyway but it was all staged drama. The Elvis wedding might have been faked. I saw some photos of them in wedding attire that appeared to be taken in Jamaica so they might have been married earlier. Where else did we see them together away from the apartment besides the airport, the surprise party and the farmer's market? Condensing the entire bogus story into a few days of filming would also explain how there was no evidence of Ashley's kids living with her. Surely they weren't staying elsewhere for THREE months! 

Just my theory.  

Edited December 24, 2018 by magemaud

[pollywood]

am I the only one here not the least bit surprised by jay?

[endure]

On 2018-12-22 at 10:17 AM, Teri313 said:

I think it would be really irresponsible of them (TLC) not to clear that up on the show, considering the implication was that they were being attacked/threatened by a slew of racist Americans intolerant of bi-racial relationships. If it's just one asshole who she used to date, then they should make that clear.

This show takes no responsibility for truth, they wouldn't care about that!

[Horrified]

16 hours ago, sainte-chapelle said:

Jay joined Tinder because he was "bored"? Okay join a meet up group and hang out with people with similar interests.

I think Tinder is a meet-up group for people with similar "interests".

[RealReality10]

19 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

LOL!  I was blasted for being "racist and bigoted against an entire nation " because I simply made factual statements about sexuality in Jamaica.  There are quite a few longitudinal studies regarding this. 

 

 

I didn't see your initial post, but I am very, very wary of studies like that, because they often turn into an attempt to justify racism and bigotry.

People forget that correlation is not causation and it's very hard to make generalized statements based on what mostly turns out to be a relatively small sample.

[sainte-chapelle]

4 hours ago, Horrified said:

I think Tinder is a meet-up group for people with similar "interests".

Lol well you have me there, bravo friend;)

[Neurochick]

4 hours ago, RealReality10 said:

I didn't see your initial post, but I am very, very wary of studies like that, because they often turn into an attempt to justify racism and bigotry.

People forget that correlation is not causation and it's very hard to make generalized statements based on what mostly turns out to be a relatively small sample.

Yes because who exactly is funding these so called studies?

[Rdh1314]

7 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Yes because who exactly is funding these so called studies?

Sigh. 

Simple instructions for you:  Type in "Peer Reviewed Studies on Sexuality on Jamaica" as a start.  That should lead you in the right direction. 

[Neurochick]

10 minutes ago, Rdh1314 said:

Sigh. 

Simple instructions for you:  Type in "Peer Reviewed Studies on Sexuality on Jamaica" as a start.  That should lead you in the right direction. 

Sounds like a study that justifies racism, xenophobia and bigotry.

Ashley didn’t do anything for Jay really, she did it for herself.  She wanted a hot, young man in her bed and that’s what she got.

[Rdh1314]

2 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Sounds like a study that justifies racism, xenophobia and bigotry.

Ashley didn’t do anything for Jay really, she did it for herself.  She wanted a hot, young man in her bed and that’s what she got.

And it's a conspiracy theory and fake news that we landed on the moon. 🙄

[RealReality10]

2 hours ago, Rdh1314 said:

Sigh. 

Simple instructions for you:  Type in "Peer Reviewed Studies on Sexuality on Jamaica" as a start.  That should lead you in the right direction. 

First off, to this point, I have approached you respectfully.  Your dismissive and condescending attitude is unwarranted and uncalled for.

Second, I'm not rooting around for a study you claim has some evidence.  You can post a link to this "study" if you'd like and then I'll see if I'd like to take the time to pick it apart. 

Third, if you can't speak to me respectfully, please do not speak to me at all.  Thank you.

2 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Sounds like a study that justifies racism, xenophobia and bigotry.

Ashley didn’t do anything for Jay really, she did it for herself.  She wanted a hot, young man in her bed and that’s what she got.

And just LOL @ "peer reviewed" oh when bigots get together to "peer review" each other's work.

Edited December 25, 2018 by RealReality10

[sainte-chapelle]

On 2018-12-23 at 10:13 PM, LilaFowler said:

So he has been cheating on her the whole time and when Ashley finds out, she runs to Natalie. In real time, she and Jay are at war with Natalie on social media?

Ashley is so, so dumb. Can't wait until Jay has kids with other women while still married to her.

Yes I am confused on the timing, Ashley went running to Scooter girl after Tindergate but proceeded to get into a messy social media fight in real time with her on social media, pas bien.

[Drogo]

Let's watch the tone in here. 

[Lily247]

I really like Ashley and I hope she doesnt get hurt, which  she will unfortunately. She is a very damaged person sadly after reading what happened to her and im sure she was flattered by all the attention he initially gave her. I do think that she should put herself back in therapy and learn to love herself before finding another man.

[iwasish]

1 minute ago, Lily247 said:

I really like Ashley and I hope she doesnt get hurt, which  she will unfortunately. She is a very damaged person sadly after reading what happened to her and im sure she was flattered by all the attention he initially gave her. I do think that she should put herself back in therapy and learn to love herself before finding another man.

I found her very  unlikeable. Always setting rules and demanding that Jay dance to her tune. Right before the wedding she’s basically complaining that Jay wanting to getting laid three times a day (which hadn’t been an issue up til then) is suddenly some sign of immaturity on his part and she is questioning if she might be making a mistake. 

Natalie should have shut the door in her face and had a long laugh at Ashley’s expense.

[Lily247]

1 hour ago, iwasish said:

I found her very  unlikeable. Always setting rules and demanding that Jay dance to her tune. Right before the wedding she’s basically complaining that Jay wanting to getting laid three times a day (which hadn’t been an issue up til then) is suddenly some sign of immaturity on his part and she is questioning if she might be making a mistake. 

Natalie should have shut the door in her face and had a long laugh at Ashley’s expense.

Oh, the relationship is as screwed up as it gets, thats for sure. But at 31, she is probably in her sexual prime, as is he at 20, so when you put that together hot damn

[iwasish]

16 hours ago, Lily247 said:

Oh, the relationship is as screwed up as it gets, thats for sure. But at 31, she is probably in her sexual prime, as is he at 20, so when you put that together hot damn

3x a day is nice on a vacation or honeymoon, but she’s got two kids and a job in “ real life”. He’s stuck at home unable to work just yet. Outside of sex what do these two have in common? What do they even talk about?

The last couple episodes Jay didn’t even seem as if he wanted to be in the states. 

[Horrified]

In the very first episode, Scooter Boss said something along the lines of "Ashley just really wants to get married" and was ignoring red flags.  If you take a look around Ashley's house, with the Home Goods decor, its heavy on signs-and-sayings-as-art.  The huge Mr. & Mrs. over the bed, the Mr. & Mrs. coffee mugs, Love/Family/Home or similar hanging on the walls.  Just because its on the walls doesn't make it so.

While I have sympathy for Ashley because of the trauma she's had in her life, she is making ridiculous life choices and is obviously very very thirsty for love and stability.

[ALittleShelfish]

9 hours ago, Horrified said:

In the very first episode, Scooter Boss said something along the lines of "Ashley just really wants to get married" and was ignoring red flags.  If you take a look around Ashley's house, with the Home Goods decor, its heavy on signs-and-sayings-as-art.  The huge Mr. & Mrs. over the bed, the Mr. & Mrs. coffee mugs, Love/Family/Home or similar hanging on the walls.  Just because its on the walls doesn't make it so.

While I have sympathy for Ashley because of the trauma she's had in her life, she is making ridiculous life choices and is obviously very very thirsty for love and stability.

I sense a spin-off for Natalie:  TLC presents Season 1 of "Scooter Boss".  

I'm cackling way harder at "Scooter Boss" than I should be but it IS hilarious!

[lucy711]

On 12/23/2018 at 8:22 PM, Teri313 said:

Well, I just think that TLC is desperately trying to make the Jay and Ashley storyline a condemnation to a certain degree on American's and that we are racists, when we really haven't seen anything that supports that. They (Jay?) complained about being uncomfortable because people were staring at them in the market. Well, that's what happens when a camera crew is following you around. People are curious. They want to know if it's someone famous. It's almost 2019, it's not that unusual to see bi-racial couples. And if you do, people aren't staring and point or threatening them or making rude comments. I have never witnessed anything like that. And what has the rest of his experience been like since he's been here? People welcoming him with open arms - her friends at the party they threw for him, the wedding venue guy. The only person who's been a problem (aside from the ex-boyfriend) is what's-her-name (Natalie?), but her problem is that he's a player and she thinks (and is probably right) that he cheated on her. I just really don't think TLC needs to create a racial problem. If there is truly an incident, fine, but it looks completely manufactured to me at this point.

I agree with you.  Ashley said on social media that the racist comments on her page were the work of a jilted ex-boyfriend.  I've heard people even surmising that TLC planted the comments to make their storyline more interesting.  I put nothing past TLC, but I'm willing to accept her explanation.  It seems like everything with this couple has been distorted by the show in some way.

[funky-rat]

13 minutes ago, lucy711 said:

I agree with you.  Ashley said on social media that the racist comments on her page were the work of a jilted ex-boyfriend.  I've heard people even surmising that TLC planted the comments to make their storyline more interesting.  I put nothing past TLC, but I'm willing to accept her explanation.  It seems like everything with this couple has been distorted by the show in some way.

If they've been broken up since not long after he got here, as some of the above linked articles suggest, then it makes sense why she looked so unhappy at their fake Elvis wedding, and in the limo afterward.  She looked so miserable.  Now I get why.  This was all a sham.

[sainte-chapelle]

I feel kinda bad for Ashley spending Christmas in the hospital. I think she is an ill and emotionally damaged person.

[lilmissjac]

I have a bi-racial niece and nephew who are 10&5! We live in Boston where it’s VERY common to date/marry outside of your race! But a few months ago I took them to a musical(Aladdin) and asked a women who was probably in her mid 50s to take of pic of us and she said in FRONT of them “oh how nice of you to adopt black kids” I nearly punched her and said they ARENT adopted(even if they were still RUDE!!!)and I’m sad you are so ignorant! She complained to security saying I  accosted her! So it’s out there and EVERYWHERE! And it’s disgusting!

[sainte-chapelle]

I just watched the first look and Jay is a real piece of work. "I set up the profile but girls messaged ME first...,if Ashley beaks up with me over a few messages then she never loved me." Typical gaslight bullshit.

[Brooklynista]

22 minutes ago, sainte-chapelle said:

I just watched the first look and Jay is a real piece of work. "I set up the profile but girls messaged ME first...,if Ashley beaks up with me over a few messages then she never loved me." Typical gaslight bullshit.

If Jay wasn’t being coached on his scam before, he is now. “She’s going to have to call the police, because I’m not leaving”. ?? Someone has hipped him to illegal evictions and he knows that after a certain length of time living in the house, Ashley can’t simply put his shit on the curb.  If nothing else Jay has bought himself some more time with a roof over his head to correct his scam.

She’ll have to go to court to have him evicted if he doesn’t leave voluntarily.

Edited December 29, 2018 by Brooklynista

[aliya]

On 12/12/2018 at 7:50 PM, Rdh1314 said:

Maybe she should have a top on under the blazer....so people don't get the wrong idea about her.  😏

Too late.