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Kalani & Asuelu: Cheeto Dust and Slut People

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18 hours ago, sarkygal said:

If he’s already thrown her against a wall early in the relationship back when she was pregnant the first time, why did she keep applying for his visa? I haven’t seen any indication she came up with the application funds without her parents, so why did they co-sign?

And why was the physical altercation not mentioned on the show? 

Agreed.

I don't know if any of those messages to the girl who claims she slept with Asuelo are true, but given the contempt Kalani has shown toward Asuelo during the show, the texts where she is thanking the woman instead of reaming her out make sense.  I feel like she got pregnant by him and then grew to despise him and was hoping there was some reason she could keep him away from their son.  However, why she decided to go on show like this and presumably marry him is beyond me.  I can only think she was looking for reality star fame and fortune.

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So Kalani is attacking Coltee. And, she's pretty crude. She manages to insult herself by saying that she has a freakishly large, uh, part.

If you look at Asuelu's page, it's all, dance dance dance, I love you, God loves you, Merry Christmas, peace, dance dance dance...

Meanwhile, Kalani is viciously attacking others for no apparent reason.

Boy oh boy are these two mismatched.

kalani.jpg

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@CoachWristletJen I saw that earlier!  And what does it say that I can't decide which is the worse person in this exchange?  Maybe it would be easier to decide if we only had these TWO people this season who sucked but since almost everyone does, it just dilutes the crazy. 

JKLOL this entire cast seems to be capitalizing on the "Hold my beer" joke.  

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22 hours ago, sasha206 said:

Agreed.

I don't know if any of those messages to the girl who claims she slept with Asuelo are true, but given the contempt Kalani has shown toward Asuelo during the show, the texts where she is thanking the woman instead of reaming her out make sense.  I feel like she got pregnant by him and then grew to despise him and was hoping there was some reason she could keep him away from their son.  However, why she decided to go on show like this and presumably marry him is beyond me.  I can only think she was looking for reality star fame and fortune.

For someone who despises him, she doesn't have any trouble procreating with him. I think she's embarrassed by him, but she wants a workhorse and a presentable looking husband. My guess is none of the other stuff she's put out there is true. The only hostility we've seen is from her, not from him. He walks away when he gets upset.

Edited by CoachWristletJen
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24 minutes ago, CoachWristletJen said:

For someone who despises him, she doesn't have any trouble procreating with him. I think she's embarrassed by him, but she wants a workhorse and a presentable looking husband. My guess is none of the other stuff she's put out there is true. The only hostility we've seen is from her, not from him. He walks away when he gets upset.

Very true.

Hopefully he's not a violent asshole.  She does seem to be one though!  Or at least she has seemed verbally abusive.

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At the super lame/tame Bachelorette party, when Kolini asked Kalani to speak into the inflatable penis like a mic and tell the group what was the “hottest thing about Asuelu,” I got the impression that she took so long answerering not because she was embarrassed to say “his penis” (which her bespectacled friend gleefully filled in for her like a preteen) but because Kalani really doesn’t find him “hot” at all, just a willing partner.

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I dislike Colononi so freakin much.

Her elevator doesnt go all the way to the top floor. 

Are you really that stupid that you got pregnant again?

How are you going to support all 4 of you?

Asswhali is uneducated and maybe needs to take some courses to learn basic common sense.

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I agree with the comment upthread about how the dynamic between K and A is so very off.  It's like he's still a child and she is an adult.  I would be wary that he would might be considered disabled.  There's just an ick factor, imo.  Like she's taken advantage of him.   Her sister is right.  He has no idea of what it takes to raise children.  He is on that level himself.  I'd be embarrassed to be in her position.  

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23 hours ago, CoachWristletJen said:

So Kalani is attacking Coltee. And, she's pretty crude. She manages to insult herself by saying that she has a freakishly large, uh, part.

If you look at Asuelu's page, it's all, dance dance dance, I love you, God loves you, Merry Christmas, peace, dance dance dance...

Meanwhile, Kalani is viciously attacking others for no apparent reason.

Boy oh boy are these two mismatched.

kalani.jpg

LOL, when assholes attack....each other.

Anyways I wish I could root for someone in this battle of the keyboard gangsters but they both are awful, so....

It's funny that she is so sensitive about not having a job.  The easiest way to resolve that is to go and get a job.  Which is something she will not do unless she is shamed into it.

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For crying out loud, she called him the "n" word in her mutual admiration society social media post. I'm also not buying that he pushed her into a wall.

It's hilarious to me that she thinks that if her dad knew she was pregnant again, he would stop the wedding. These people do everything backwards.

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On 12/28/2018 at 2:07 PM, CoachWristletJen said:

 

kalani.jpg

She sure is nasty!  All Colt said was that Kalani quit her job during the 90d show, which is what she said on camera.  Unless something got deleted, Colt doesn’t call her bad names or tells lies about her.  And she responds by saying some really vile things.  It’s pretty apparent why she is undatable in the states and had to go oversees where she is a complete unknown to get laid.  And I hate her for making me point out that Colt was appropriate in this situation.

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On 12/28/2018 at 3:07 PM, CoachWristletJen said:

So Kalani is attacking Coltee. And, she's pretty crude. She manages to insult herself by saying that she has a freakishly large, uh, part.

If you look at Asuelu's page, it's all, dance dance dance, I love you, God loves you, Merry Christmas, peace, dance dance dance...

Meanwhile, Kalani is viciously attacking others for no apparent reason.

Boy oh boy are these two mismatched.

kalani.jpg

Colt does have a better rack. She's sloppy. 

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On 10/30/2018 at 2:54 PM, iwasish said:

 I agree,  I think “losing her virginity to a village boy” and getting knocked up to prove  it, were a big passive aggressive fuck you to daddy. But she didn’t realize the emotional, physical and financial burden a child can be. She wants help with raising the baby but I don’t think she wants Asuelu as a husband.   

Im going to play Devil's Advocate here for a moment. Kalani is a moderately attractive, could be quite quite attractive if she were a bit thinner. Im guessing she was thinner when she was younger. (Follow me, here) I'm not sure how many of you grew up in Orange County California or have just lived there as adults, but I'll tell you, the culture, socially, is sexually laxed, REGARDLESS OF RELIGION. I grew up in Utah and Orange County in Mormon communities and I'll tell you that the kids are so repressed that sinning and sex are the FIRST things they turn to as an act of rebellion. (Now, I'm not  saying, but I'm saying) .... I HIGHLY doubt Kalani was a 30 year old virgin from Southern California. She doesn't look that bad, she was getting laid somewhere. Her sister knew she was no virgin when she went to Samoa and met Asuelu. I think Kalani was drinking and partying and hooked up with Asuelu (who is a very simple minded, country, man boy) and whoever else. For whatever reason, Kalani got knocked up, she forgot her pill, the condom broke, Ausuelus pullout game is weak, whatever the reason, it happened. Remember they're a super religious family. In order for Kalani to save face she needed to tell her family about meeting the father of her child falling in love with him and giving her "virginity" to him on a magical night and a miracle happened! She was pregnant! This wouldn't have been such a problem but Ausuelu (as good of a guy as he is) he is just a simple island guy. He loves "his" child and Kalani. By the way, while we're on the subject has there been a DNA test done on the kid? Just saying, Ausuelu could be getting set up to be the fall guy just to save Kalanis honor. By the way, the kid looks nothing like Ausuelu. And another fact I wouldn't be surprised to find out is that Sister knew about the whole lie. Her and Kalani probably hatched it over text messages. That's why sister was so upset when Asuelu finally made it here, because sister knows Asuelu isn't the father and she knows a strange (mentally deficient) man will be raising her sister's son. 

 

I think Kalani is grasping for anything, any kind of fight or mistake he makes to call off the wedding. But his responses are so genuine, proving he truly loves her in his "special" way, that she would be looked at as the biggest cvnt on earth if she cut him loose. Oh, and NOW she's preggers again! Guess we'll see if this next one comes out looking like Ausuelu or someone else. Im def team Ausuelu on this one. 

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@BLZBub I had the opposite analysis of Kalini. I’m guessing she’s always been a larger woman, (I agree that she is pretty) and growing up in Southern California she is not the standard of beauty, and was very insecure about that, sexually repressed because of that and was stupid enough to hook up with the vacation guy (with no condom) at 28 cause she was sick of waiting on a husband. And she was horny.

 

I confess I do base this on seeing my own friends who were insecure about their weight (that wasn’t my issue) and fall for the tropes of giving guys emotional attention/oral sex because they were insecure and wanted attention YET being afraid of being used for sex (the fat girls are easy trope) and not having vaginal penial intercourse until their mid 20s. 

 

Ive seen some older virgins (male and female) make some stupid and risky decisions because they were angry that “waiting” didn’t bring their fairytale and the drive for partnered sex was so strong. Thankfully no one conceived a child or worse ended up in a dangerous situation. 

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15 hours ago, Booger666 said:

She sure is nasty!  All Colt said was that Kalani quit her job during the 90d show, which is what she said on camera.  Unless something got deleted, Colt doesn’t call her bad names or tells lies about her.  And she responds by saying some really vile things.  It’s pretty apparent why she is undatable in the states and had to go oversees where she is a complete unknown to get laid.  And I hate her for making me point out that Colt was appropriate in this situation.

Yea I never bought her blushing virgin act.

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20 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

I agree with the comment upthread about how the dynamic between K and A is so very off.  It's like he's still a child and she is an adult.  I would be wary that he would might be considered disabled.  There's just an ick factor, imo.  Like she's taken advantage of him.   Her sister is right.  He has no idea of what it takes to raise children.  He is on that level himself.  I'd be embarrassed to be in her position.  

Exactly.  It isn't that English is his second language -- 90 Day F is full of that obviously but I haven't actually thought any of them were stupid simpletons like I view Asuelo.

That's why I think Kalani seems to seethe in anger.  I think she probably doesn't have a whole lot of men chasing her (I think she can look very pretty but she has a manly quality about her in addition to the weight).  Asuelo may be the best looking of the men that have pursued her.  Before actually knowing him as a person, she fucks him during vacation and then they see each other in small doses before.  Now having spent actual time with him, she realizes he is really stupid.  Kalani makes stupid decisions that she blames on Asuelo, but I don't get the impression she's not intelligent.  

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I think Kalani was nearing 30 & just wanted a kid. I read something somewhere (maybe here)- & maybe someone else knows this too - where she said she did want a child when she met Asuelo. So maybe Oliver wasn't an 'oops' kid. Asuelo was available, & not a "slut person" who uses condoms, so she got her baby.

I'm still trying to figure out what she's getting out of the 90 Day gig besides a little bit of cash. Maybe with the second baby she'll be in for next season; not saying it was purposeful or anything like that...

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17 hours ago, Elizzikra said:
Quote

Colt does have a better rack. She's sloppy. 

I think they both could use a good bra...

Paging Molly! 

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Kalani's sister has far too much to say about everything.  Why would she break down crying about the baby.  IMO she should just mind her own business. Blaming Asuelo and saying he did on purpose, yeah of course, Kalani had no part in it, so ridiculous.  

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On 12/29/2018 at 6:32 PM, Booger666 said:

She sure is nasty!  All Colt said was that Kalani quit her job during the 90d show, which is what she said on camera.  Unless something got deleted, Colt doesn’t call her bad names or tells lies about her.  And she responds by saying some really vile things.  It’s pretty apparent why she is undatable in the states and had to go oversees where she is a complete unknown to get laid.  And I hate her for making me point out that Colt was appropriate in this situation.

He was very unnecessarily rude by trying to call her out for something that has nothing to do with him, especially since rhey dont even seem to know each other. Im sorry but when you play with fire you get burned. 

Edited by Lily247
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1 hour ago, Lily247 said:

He was very unnecessarily rude by trying to call her out for something that has nothing to do with him, especially since rhey dont even seem to know each other. Im sorry but when you play with fire you get burned. 

I totally agree.  Colt knows exactly what he is doing.  He just picked the wrong girl to do it with.

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On 12/30/2018 at 8:26 AM, sasha206 said:

I agree with the comment upthread about how the dynamic between K and A is so very off.  It's like he's still a child and she is an adult.  I would be wary that he would might be considered disabled.  There's just an ick factor, imo.  Like she's taken advantage of him.   Her sister is right.  He has no idea of what it takes to raise children.  He is on that level himself.  I'd be embarrassed to be in her position.  

Thank You!

I agree but couldnt put it into words.

Yuck! 

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On 12/30/2018 at 10:33 AM, gonecrackers said:

So maybe Oliver wasn't an 'oops' kid.

I think any kid that is made when parents have disregard for birth control is not an oops kid.  I believe Kalani knew full well that sperm was gonna meet egg.

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On 29/12/2018 at 6:44 PM, Drogo said:

Colt does have a better rack. She's sloppy. 

Colts rocking the side boob tho

On 31/12/2018 at 9:48 AM, Lily247 said:

He was very unnecessarily rude by trying to call her out for something that has nothing to do with him, especially since rhey dont even seem to know each other. Im sorry but when you play with fire you get burned. 

I’m in the minority here ( and generally I strongly dislike Kalani) but I enjoyed the coltee burn!

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On 12/20/2018 at 8:15 PM, RealReality10 said:

Like what the hell was so attractive about him?  Is he super smart and I'm just missing it?  Is he super charming and I'm missing it.

We all missed his show at the resort.  Maybe he was one of the cutest guys and best dancers.  Maybe he's good at flirting and SHE thinks she won THE prize.  Location-Location-Location.

 

On 12/26/2018 at 6:26 AM, winsomeone said:

Wonder what work if any Asuelu did in Samoa?

He worked as an entertainer at a resort she stayed at--or visited.  Those workers usually have other resort jobs during day: maintenance, servers, housekeeping, etc.

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2 hours ago, HaaCHOO said:

We all missed his show at the resort.  Maybe he was one of the cutest guys and best dancers.  Maybe he's good at flirting and SHE thinks she won THE prize.  Location-Location-Location.

 

He worked as an entertainer at a resort she stayed at--or visited.  Those workers usually have other resort jobs during day: maintenance, servers, housekeeping, etc.

Some kind of mysterious irresistible Samoan mating dance?  That's a legit theory, and it would explain how kalani isn't at fault for these pregnancies.

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Kalani says one thing and then does the opposite!  

She truly is a mystery to me.

 

The only thing that remains constant is her love for Air BnBs!

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Asuelu is the complete opposite of her father, BUT he's Samoan. Any psych majors out there?

Nothing I learned as a psych major explains anything at all about any of the people on this show with the possible exceptions of Stephen and Olga.

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8 hours ago, zenme said:

Asuelu is the complete opposite of her father, BUT he's Samoan. Any psych majors out there?

Perhaps a man can start out sweet pie like Asuelu and after spending 30 years fathering Kalani/Kolini/Kacondom he ages and decomposes into not sweet pie Low.

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On 12/31/2018 at 6:48 AM, Lily247 said:

He was very unnecessarily rude by trying to call her out for something that has nothing to do with him, especially since rhey dont even seem to know each other. Im sorry but when you play with fire you get burned. 

Yeah, really.  Why did Colt have to take a shot at Kalini that way? What did she ever do to him that justifies him insulting her as part of his little twitter spat with a third party? 

Coltee has is a little dick and I'm glad Kalini spanked him!

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16 minutes ago, Celia Rubenstein said:

Yeah, really.  Why did Colt have to take a shot at Kalini that way? What did she ever do to him that justifies him insulting her as part of his little twitter spat with a third party? 

Coltee has is a little dick and I'm glad Kalini spanked him!

And it sounds like Coltee would really enjoy that.

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On 1/1/2019 at 4:58 PM, RealReality10 said:

He worked as an entertainer at a resort she stayed at--or visited.  Those workers usually have other resort jobs during day: maintenance, servers, housekeeping, etc.

I have liked the looks of many entertainers and staff at resorts. I would never think of having sex with one of them never mind without a condom.They have all screwed SO many men and women. Bodily fluids!!

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11 hours ago, booboopbedoo said:

I have liked the looks of many entertainers and staff at resorts. I would never think of having sex with one of them never mind without a condom.They have all screwed SO many men and women. Bodily fluids!!

Is this why we enjoy you on this forum...but (sadly) don't see you on the teevee?

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21 hours ago, SunnyBeBe said:

So, do couples sit together on the couch for the reunion show, regardless of whether they are still together or not?

I believe so, unless one of them has incontinence issues?

90-day-fiance-1.jpg

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On 12/27/2018 at 2:52 PM, sarkygal said:

If he’s already thrown her against a wall early in the relationship back when she was pregnant the first time, why did she keep applying for his visa? I haven’t seen any indication she came up with the application funds without her parents, so why did they co-sign?

And why was the physical altercation not mentioned on the show? 

I'm sorry, but i'm having a hard time believing that little Asuelo (or anyone) could throw Kalani up against a wall.

Edited by loki310 · Reason: missed a word
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19 minutes ago, Drogo said:

I believe so, unless one of them has incontinence issues?

90-day-fiance-1.jpg

Oh man does that take me back....there will never be another Dani and mo.  

They are like the Kennedy's of 90 day fiance....TLC royalty.

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On 1/1/2019 at 10:57 PM, zenme said:

Asuelu is the complete opposite of her father, BUT he's Samoan. Any psych majors out there?

I'm not a psych major , but I did wrote my thesis and spent years researching religion and live in Southern Utah near them. Asuelu was born and raised in Samoa. It is a very relaxed culture. Her father is a mormon (former Mormon) living in America of Samoan decent.  Sure there is some culture that is the same, the dances, he food, the love of family but it is not the same. There is a large Samoan Mormon population at my kid's school. They are all very tight knit families. the most tight knit, I will give you every penny I have, almost communal living type families. They men work hard, 2-3 jobs , hard work, study in school, practice sports to be the best and if they are active Mormon which most are, they are very active devout (more so then the mutli generational Mormons that have lived in Utah since Brigham Young).  I have seen a few Samoans come over here for the first time and they are much like Asuelu, laid back, friendly, and struggle a bit with how much order and schedule we have in America. 

 

I think there is a lot of scripted parts of their story. I do not think the family hates or even dislikes him. I think the father wanted Asuelu to prove himself, like get 2 jobs and start providing. I think that is why they came to Utah. It was very easy for Asuelu to find work asap and good paying work. Since they had a "free house" (kind of wonder if it is a retirement home? a trilevel home in a non retirement area, small rooms mutli levels?, there are tons of retirement homes in St George , this is not one of them)., it was easy for Asuelu could go to work right away and they could save money. This is very common in our local Samoan community, families live together or take care of each other to the extreme for the couple to get a good start. 

I know people wonder why her sister is so attached or the family is so invovled but this is normal. No questions asked you take care of your cousin , Aunt, nephew etc. It can be free housing, meals , paying bills.  It is very nice to see family take care of family to the extreme. It is very hard if you do not want this life and are trapped in it. I have seen a few young people have a tough time breaking away. Kalini I think is lucky her sister wanted to slightly break away, travel and party a bit but they both still rely on the family for some support so they were getting the best of both worlds. 

Kalini should be thrilled that Asuelu is okay with her family. If she had a Jewish or rich white guy (whoever her dad wanted her to be with) it might be very hard to for them to accept family 24/7. My close friend almost married a Samoan and after seeing the family come over all day, she said at 11pm they would break out the grill and invite the family over to your house on a weekday! and they wanted to be part of all aspects she backed out. I know several other stories of marriages (temple Mormon marriages) not working out because of the extended family influence. 

I think Kalini and Asuelu will be fine, I think the family likes him and they will raise their kids and have a good life.  They are out and about in our city and seem like any other couple, doing the same activities and having fun. As long as they get to stay in the free house , they will have a very decent quality of living, Asuelu will have a local Samoan community for support along with warm weather and plenty of work options. 

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13 hours ago, silverspoons said:

I'm not a psych major , but I did wrote my thesis and spent years researching religion and live in Southern Utah near them. Asuelu was born and raised in Samoa. It is a very relaxed culture. Her father is a mormon (former Mormon) living in America of Samoan decent.  Sure there is some culture that is the same, the dances, he food, the love of family but it is not the same. There is a large Samoan Mormon population at my kid's school. They are all very tight knit families. the most tight knit, I will give you every penny I have, almost communal living type families. They men work hard, 2-3 jobs , hard work, study in school, practice sports to be the best and if they are active Mormon which most are, they are very active devout (more so then the mutli generational Mormons that have lived in Utah since Brigham Young).  I have seen a few Samoans come over here for the first time and they are much like Asuelu, laid back, friendly, and struggle a bit with how much order and schedule we have in America. 

 

I think there is a lot of scripted parts of their story. I do not think the family hates or even dislikes him. I think the father wanted Asuelu to prove himself, like get 2 jobs and start providing. I think that is why they came to Utah. It was very easy for Asuelu to find work asap and good paying work. Since they had a "free house" (kind of wonder if it is a retirement home? a trilevel home in a non retirement area, small rooms mutli levels?, there are tons of retirement homes in St George , this is not one of them)., it was easy for Asuelu could go to work right away and they could save money. This is very common in our local Samoan community, families live together or take care of each other to the extreme for the couple to get a good start. 

I know people wonder why her sister is so attached or the family is so invovled but this is normal. No questions asked you take care of your cousin , Aunt, nephew etc. It can be free housing, meals , paying bills.  It is very nice to see family take care of family to the extreme. It is very hard if you do not want this life and are trapped in it. I have seen a few young people have a tough time breaking away. Kalini I think is lucky her sister wanted to slightly break away, travel and party a bit but they both still rely on the family for some support so they were getting the best of both worlds. 

Kalini should be thrilled that Asuelu is okay with her family. If she had a Jewish or rich white guy (whoever her dad wanted her to be with) it might be very hard to for them to accept family 24/7. My close friend almost married a Samoan and after seeing the family come over all day, she said at 11pm they would break out the grill and invite the family over to your house on a weekday! and they wanted to be part of all aspects she backed out. I know several other stories of marriages (temple Mormon marriages) not working out because of the extended family influence. 

I think Kalini and Asuelu will be fine, I think the family likes him and they will raise their kids and have a good life.  They are out and about in our city and seem like any other couple, doing the same activities and having fun. As long as they get to stay in the free house , they will have a very decent quality of living, Asuelu will have a local Samoan community for support along with warm weather and plenty of work options. 

I’m driving to St George next week (from Moab). Maybe I’ll see them! :D

Thanks for weighing in on this.  I think many people are unaware of the strong Mormon Samoan community in Utah. You explained it well.  

I also think traditional Mormons don’t look down upon people having babies in quick succession, and some would applaud it. I think of the communities to the south of where I live as examples of this.  Personally, I don’t think it’s good for the body,  but I know women who have had 10 kids and look just fine.  It seems odd to outsiders, but it seems more cultural than religious to me, an outsider.

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They can have all the babies they want as long as they can support them!  No job and living in dad's basement making babies just isn't right.

Anybody happen to know what dad does for a living?  He does seem to have some bucks!  Actually what kind of work do they all do other than Asulo of course!  He's just the dancing sperm donor!  Lol

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On 1/3/2019 at 11:24 PM, HaaCHOO said:

Is this why we enjoy you on this forum...but (sadly) don't see you on the teevee?

I often thought I should have my own show!

lol

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11 hours ago, booboopbedoo said:

I often thought I should have my own show!

lol

I hope it would not be on TLC!! 

That normally means life is not going great.

Edited by RealReality10 · Reason: I don't want anyone on here to have a TLC reality show life!!
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