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Kalani & Asuelu: Cheeto Dust and Slut People

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14 hours ago, Auntie Anxiety said:

I think in the live chat, I expected an imminent wardrobe malfunction.

Why doesn't she just buy tops or dresses that cover her tits? and her long hair bothers me...

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She’s so huge finding clothes to fit is likely impossible. Maybe stop the carbs. Her mother is oversized too. Pancakes? Good grief

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13 hours ago, Dahlia said:

She’s so huge finding clothes to fit is likely impossible. Maybe stop the carbs. Her mother is oversized too. Pancakes? Good grief

There are many people a LOT bigger than she is, the clothes are available out there.  She obviously loves  her body the way it is since she purposely dresses to display it.  I had that thought about the pancakes too, my first reaction was "neither of you need to be eating those" but that's just me projecting my own weight issues.  

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On 9/10/2020 at 11:00 AM, ThereButFor said:

There are many people a LOT bigger than she is, the clothes are available out there.  She obviously loves  her body the way it is since she purposely dresses to display it.  I had that thought about the pancakes too, my first reaction was "neither of you need to be eating those" but that's just me projecting my own weight issues.  

I have to admit that I was thinking the same thing re mom and daughter.  I wouldn’t for normal pancakes because big people don’t have to limit themselves to fruit and cottage cheese but those things looked like deep fried dough.  You can have something like that once a year at the State Fair but eat it on the regular and don’t act surprised at your size.

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On 9/11/2020 at 3:24 PM, MrBuhBye said:

I have to admit that I was thinking the same thing re mom and daughter.  I wouldn’t for normal pancakes because big people don’t have to limit themselves to fruit and cottage cheese but those things looked like deep fried dough.  You can have something like that once a year at the State Fair but eat it on the regular and don’t act surprised at your size.

she was using a deep fryer in that scene

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The previews for next week are interesting, with the passport showing, and the lies by Asuelu about what he's up to.    I see Tammy will be on the tell all in a couple of weeks.   

Is it too much to hope that someone will punch Tammy's lights out on camera?   

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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2 hours ago, Drogo said:

I just came here to say that I love you and now that you're in America you need to send me more money.  One thousand.  I love you. 

LIAR! You never loved me! Get out of my life!

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30 minutes ago, hookedontv said:

LIAR! You never loved me! Get out of my life!

Your old wife just has you brainwashed and your selfish kids will say anything in order to not starve.  Don't Listen To Them.  

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On 9/14/2020 at 3:17 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

The previews for next week are interesting, with the passport showing, and the lies by Asuelu about what he's up to.    I see Tammy will be on the tell all in a couple of weeks.   

Is it too much to hope that someone will punch Tammy's lights out on camera?   

Not at all.  I was thinking maybe she's tired of supporting Big Pork since when did state she gives her money. Apparently she wants Azzsweato to contribute to ease her finances, but I still want someone from Kalani 's family, especially Mom Kalani, to button up her "it's none of your business" mouth.  Big Pork isn't that old. She could do something for some money, but has entitlement attitude. 

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My understanding is Asuelu's father and mother are both Samoan, and the mother's first husband, and kids are American Samoan (That's the part of the family the half-siblings in Washington and Utah are from, including Tammy and Rosa).    The mother has a green card, and shuttles back and forth from Washington state, to Samoa.    Asuelu, and his full siblings are Samoan, and not U.S. citizens.   I think someone said that Asuelu is the youngest kid. 

If Kalani is telling the truth about him going out with his friends, lying about where he's been, and then endangering her and the little kids with his exposure, then she's right to kick him out.        

Also, I bet Mama A. wasn't too glad to hear that he's unemployed since quarantine started (whether it's yogurt samples or dancing, it's simply not happening), and if he's not shown on the Tell Nothing, or the show any longer, then he won't be getting paid for that either (I think the couple get paid by the show seasons, with more for additional seasons.   Plus, extra for the Tell Nothing, and I'm guessing Pillow Talk too). Mama A must be livid.   

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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On 9/10/2020 at 9:00 AM, ThereButFor said:

 She obviously loves  her body the way it is since she purposely dresses to display it.  

I think she always looks nice.  I'm surprised she has such beautiful clothes because I don't see "bigger" women around her wearing such pretty/modern/young things.

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23 hours ago, Christina said:

For those of us who are not watching the episodes, Kalani kicked Asuelu out at one point:

https://youtu.be/Oahlbke9P3s

 

I'm tired her being all tough and saying she's done with Asuelu, only to stay with him no matter what he does. Like, by all means stay with the loser if you want to, but stop trying to act tough for cameras when you have no intention of following through with an actual breakup/divorce.

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I love that everyone has refused to claim Family Asuelu.  I suspect if Family A, especially Asuelu, go back to Samoa, he won't enjoy the greeting he'll get.      Also, with the drop off in income, will Asuelu still qualify for a green card if Kalani refuses to sponsor him?    I really don't know how all of this works.  

I can't wait for Tammy to be on the tell nothing.   I'm hoping she starts ranting about Kalani having to send money to her foolish brother.  I would laugh if Asuelu gets nailed for child support, so all of his dancing wages in Samoa end up with his children, and not Mama Easter Island Asuelu.  Also, I hope Kalani will say visitation with the kids will only be in the U.S., because I can see Family A. keeping the kids, and trying to get child support for them.    However, I can easily see Asuelu going back to the Samoa side of the island, because I don't know if any child support will be enforced.  

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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2 hours ago, Christina said:

This must be based on something that happened in an episode I haven't watched. People are finding it very funny, so I thought I'd add it here.

s3tlxrmly9p51.png

 

Apparently, the Asuelan version of "apple of my eye" is "pineapple of my life."  Asuelu said to Kalani a couple of episodes back.

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On 9/18/2020 at 6:18 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

If Kalani is telling the truth about him going out with his friends, lying about where he's been, and then endangering her and the little kids with his exposure, then she's right to kick him out.     

Exactly...even if it's as innocent as volleyball, there are several people and A LOTTA SWEAT!

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On 9/23/2020 at 4:56 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

I can easily see Asuelu going back to the Samoa side of the island, because I don't know if any child support will be enforced. 

I doubt she'll be on the receiving end of any Asuelu money . . . ever. It appears he has zero ambition, less than minimal skills that would turn into a livable wage, zero respect for his (soon to be ex) wife and kids, or any desire to assimilate to American culture. What he does have is a very thick umbilical cord and sense of entitlement. At this point, I no longer care if he does have a "problem". He is a dick. Kalani, do us all a favor - cut your losses, admit you made a mistake and learn from it, stay with the Mormon parents in the basement, and get rid of him and his cheap ass nasty family. You'll be lucky if he runs back to his beloved samwa.

Edited by itsadryheat
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On 9/23/2020 at 7:56 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

I would laugh if Asuelu gets nailed for child support, so all of his dancing wages in Samoa end up with his children, and not Mama Easter Island Asuelu.  Also, I hope Kalani will say visitation with the kids will only be in the U.S., because I can see Family A. keeping the kids, and trying to get child support for them.    However, I can easily see Asuelu going back to the Samoa side of the island, because I don't know if any child support will be enforced.  

During an argument or two In their original season, Kalani complained that Asuelo never paid for diapers or any of Oliver or helped her with any expenses.  (Of course, it would have cost a lot more if he shipped diapers from Samoa than if he just electronically transferred money.)  She said that did not fulfill a commitment that he made.

It also sounds like he lived in staff housing at the resort or at home in Samoa.  Also, in a few of Lo's wake-up calls, they discuss that life in the United States is expensive and people can't just live outside, like in Samoa, where they can sell maro (?) or natural vegetation.  

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On 9/28/2020 at 7:42 AM, Grifter Lives said:

where they can sell maro (?) or natural vegetation.  

They said you can raise Taro next to your hut, and don't need much money.   So then why do they need Asuelu to send money?   

Family Asuelu is despicable.    I bet the Family A. relatives think that when the divorce happens that Kalani's family will have to support their stupid son, but they're wrong.    The grandkids won't be visiting either, because I can't see any of Family A. playing by any custody rules either.      

The photos of him in the dance group is of a bunch of people standing side-by-side, and not a mask anywhere.  Also, the dance group performances at the park were shut down for months, so whatever he makes from that job is very little this year.    I wonder if his greedy family realize that since Kalani will get primary custody, that Asuelu won't be doing head of household status, so he will get nothing on income taxes.  That's if he stays in U.S. jurisdiction.  If he gets a child support judgment, then he won't be getting any refund either, since we all know he won't pay child support if he has a choice.    

I think if Family Kalani is smart, that Kalani, her mom and the kids should relocate leaving Asuelu off at the airport by Uber.     He's going to keep getting exposed to viruses until Kalani or the kids get infected, or Kalani's mother catches something and that's the end of her.     

I watched the Tell Nothing rerun where Mama A. is being so reasonable, of course despicable Tammy is still a jerk.

I'm betting during his little visit, that Mama A. dragged Asuelu to an attorney to find out what property, and support he would get if Kalani divorced him.   That was when Mama A. found out that a SAHM wouldn't have to pay him anything, and he would have to pay child support if he lived in the U.S. jurisdiction, and he wouldn't get custody, then Mama A. told him to go back and make it work, and still send her money.       

There is no way the despicable Mama A. went from 'send me money even though you would be homeless, and your children will starve', and switched to " go home and make it work', without thinking she's going to get cut off from the money train if Asuelu does go back to Samoa and dance for the tourists.  

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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I'm only on season 6 ep 9, so was probably discussed earlier in thread, but I gotta vent! When K and A tell her mom she's knocked up with baby number 2, K acts like A did it all by himself, and gasp, maybe on purpose. Bitch is 30 years old. Demand a condom, get a novu ring or some spermicide. Be responsible for your own body girl and don't blame getting pregnant on anyone but yourself!! 

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18 minutes ago, J80134 said:

I'm only on season 6 ep 9, so was probably discussed earlier in thread, but I gotta vent! When K and A tell her mom she's knocked up with baby number 2, K acts like A did it all by himself, and gasp, maybe on purpose. Bitch is 30 years old. Demand a condom, get a novu ring or some spermicide. Be responsible for your own body girl and don't blame getting pregnant on anyone but yourself!!

Spot on! I hated that. It's baby number two - clearly they know how to get pregnant. Kalani never takes responsibility and while Asuelo is no rock star in life by any stretch of the imagination, it takes 2 to get pregnant. If I recall correctly (sorry if this is a spoiler for you but it should be no surprise) Kalani "makes" Asuelo tell her dad. 

Bitch please! He's your dad - YOU tell him. She had sex with no protection and Kalani's well into adulthood - take some ownership. I found Kalani to be so infuriating particularly in this circumstance.

I can't stand when any woman says "He got me pregnant" (outside of a forced situation/abuse/attack of course). 

 

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Despite what is fair it’s a biological fact that the woman gets pregnant and has to experience all the related health issues regarding the pregnancy and delivery (some which are fatal).  If I were a woman who had sex with men I would be damned sure to take precautions.

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8 hours ago, hookedontv said:

Spot on! I hated that. It's baby number two - clearly they know how to get pregnant. Kalani never takes responsibility and while Asuelo is no rock star in life by any stretch of the imagination, it takes 2 to get pregnant.

IIRC, their excuse for pregnancy #1 was Asuelu declaring "Condoms are for slut people" and for #2 it was Kalani thinking she couldn't get pregnant while breastfeeding. 

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9 hours ago, magemaud said:

IIRC, their excuse for pregnancy #1 was Asuelu declaring "Condoms are for slut people" and for #2 it was Kalani thinking she couldn't get pregnant while breastfeeding. 

Kalani is an idiot. So is Asuelo.

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I'm wondering how much education Asuelu had?    The education in Samoa is mandatory through eighth grade, but not mandatory after that.   I really don't see Asuelu as a star pupil either. 

Edited by CrazyInAlabama
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So if Asuelu speaks with a different cadence in real life, why does he do that stutter step jibber jabber on camera?  Now I really want to slap him had across those massive chops.  ( figuratively speaking, of course )

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2 hours ago, CrazyInAlabama said:

The little boys look very unhappy in the picture.    At least Kalani had her chest decently covered for once.  

That’s why they’re unhappy.

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