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Kalani & Asuelu: Cheeto Dust and Slut People

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1 minute ago, AZChristian said:

I didn't get to watch last night, so am just catching up this morning.

Kalani said, "Asuelo called me three times and gave me places to pick him up, but he wasn't there."  All I could think of was that the idiot was on a BUS when he called.  So first it was, "I'm at the corner of 1st Street and Main Street; come and get me."  And he stayed on the bus.  When she got there, he was gone.  So he called her again and said, "I'm at the corner of 15th Street and Main Street."  And he STILL stayed on the bus.  And then did it again.

I figured Kalani had to tell him to get OFF the bus so she could actually find him!!!  

Sorry, after ONE time of driving somewhere and him not being there, I would have been DONE like Debbie.

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I can't stand Kalani.  Why did she marry this jerk AND have a second child with him.  I don't feel sorry for her at all.

I can't stand Kalani's dad for making the racist comment, that he wanted his daughters to marry WHITE men.  There are a lot of white men who are just as shiftless and lazy as Asuelu.  So shut up daddy.

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1 hour ago, Neurochick said:

I can't stand Kalani.  Why did she marry this jerk AND have a second child with him.  I don't feel sorry for her at all.

I can't stand Kalani's dad for making the racist comment, that he wanted his daughters to marry WHITE men.  There are a lot of white men who are just as shiftless and lazy as Asuelu.  So shut up daddy.

I don't like the Dad either. I missed that particular comment but I do loathe that whole macho "I just might not be able to control my temper and have to kick this guy in the ass" swagger. Your daughter is an adult. Her husband is (legally, at least) an adult. They should work out their own issues without a can of daddy whoopass. Stay out of it big man.

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10 minutes ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't like the Dad either. I missed that particular comment but I do loathe that whole macho "I just might not be able to control my temper and have to kick this guy in the ass" swagger. Your daughter is an adult. Her husband is (legally, at least) an adult. They should work out their own issues without a can of daddy whoopass. Stay out of it big man.

Yeah Dad, shit like that can get you a nice room in jail.  

Also, shut up Kolini, stop trying to make Kalini a martyr.  She knowingly had TWO babies with that man-child.  She can take several seats with Tania, another victim of "IThoughtICouldChangeHim-itus."

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This is some bullshit isn't it? It's gotta be a producer set up right?!? The way the co-dependent sister looks sideways at Kailani and mom when the goings on are revealed to big bad papa bear...I mean, it's like a damn cartoon at this point. And IF it's real, send that moron, Assheulo, home on the next plane to SamWah. It's like taking care of a demented toddler at this point, but one who can call you a fucking bitch. That shit aint cool.

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5 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

I don't like the Dad either. I missed that particular comment but I do loathe that whole macho "I just might not be able to control my temper and have to kick this guy in the ass" swagger. Your daughter is an adult. Her husband is (legally, at least) an adult. They should work out their own issues without a can of daddy whoopass. Stay out of it big man.

Dad could lose he’s no spring chicken.

Kalani said talking to Asuelu was like talking to a four-year-old.  Yet that is whom she chose to knock boot with.  Reminds me of those creepy schoolteachers who seduce their male students.  One just died.

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14 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I can't stand Kalani.  Why did she marry this jerk AND have a second child with him.  I don't feel sorry for her at all.

I can't stand Kalani's dad for making the racist comment, that he wanted his daughters to marry WHITE men.  There are a lot of white men who are just as shiftless and lazy as Asuelu.  So shut up daddy.

Yes.

Women like this can miss me with their “having a baby will force him to grow up” mentality. What complete nonsense. Now, she (well mostly her parents) are stuck with supporting two kids and the man-child who sired them. Congrats, way to go. 

Not for the first time, I give thanks for the fact that I possess both birth control and the brains to understand how it works. 

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Kalani's job was working at a group home for teen moms. She's...it's just...man I have no words for her stupidity

 

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6 hours ago, Christina said:

Kalani's job was working at a group home for teen moms. She's...it's just...man I have no words for her stupidity

 

I wonder if it was religiously affiliated and they liked that she was a virgin? Perhaps they thought she would be a positive influence?

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On 7/13/2020 at 8:02 AM, AZChristian said:

I didn't get to watch last night, so am just catching up this morning.

Kalani said, "Asuelo called me three times and gave me places to pick him up, but he wasn't there."  All I could think of was that the idiot was on a BUS when he called.  So first it was, "I'm at the corner of 1st Street and Main Street; come and get me."  And he stayed on the bus.  When she got there, he was gone.  So he called her again and said, "I'm at the corner of 15th Street and Main Street."  And he STILL stayed on the bus.  And then did it again.

I figured Kalani had to tell him to get OFF the bus so she could actually find him!!!  

And here I was hoping that his dumb ass would be on that bus riding around the city into infinity, staring out the window and looking for some sign he had arrived in Utah. 

I was beyond disappointed that she found him.  

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1 hour ago, Persnickety1 said:

And here I was hoping that his dumb ass would be on that bus riding around the city into infinity, staring out the window and looking for some sign he had arrived in Utah. 

I was beyond disappointed that she found him.  

And he conveniently left all that out in next week's episode. I wanted to see Lo react to it.

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Production dropped the ball.  They should have filmed Kalani going to each false address, getting more and more annoyed, and then the awkward ultimate meeting.  They give us Asuelu handing out frozen yogurt samples but not the drama?

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11 hours ago, Christina said:

Kalani's job was working at a group home for teen moms.

Of course she did! 🥴

Honestly didn't think this could get more absurd.

Just did.

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8 hours ago, MrBuhBye said:

Production dropped the ball.  They should have filmed Kalani going to each false address, getting more and more annoyed, and then the awkward ultimate meeting.  They give us Asuelu handing out frozen yogurt samples but not the drama?

And I think that's really being glossed over on the show. To run off is one thing and that's bad enough, but to send her on a wild goose chase when she was clearly not feeling well and should've been hanging out with her family? That takes a special kind of asshole. 

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11 hours ago, mamadrama said:

And I think that's really being glossed over on the show. To run off is one thing and that's bad enough, but to send her on a wild goose chase when she was clearly not feeling well and should've been hanging out with her family? That takes a special kind of asshole. 

If the whole family was staying at the same place, why would they let her go out the second time when Asuelu wasn't at the first place she went?  Daddy should have said, "Tell him I'M coming to pick him up this time, and he'd better be there."

 

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17 minutes ago, AZChristian said:

If the whole family was staying at the same place, why would they let her go out the second time when Asuelu wasn't at the first place she went?  Daddy should have said, "Tell him I'M coming to pick him up this time, and he'd better be there."

I'm guessing she didn't go home in between each location. She likely arrived at the location he gave, he wasn't there, so she called/texted him and he gave her the next location.

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Wow. Thanks for the info on Asuelo @silverspoons. I went to the website and it’s impressive. I’m glad that he has a job that is definitely in his wheelhouse and that he seems to love. Frauded by TLC yet again. 
 

Edited by Colte Gal · Reason: ​​​​​​​To change the source of information on Asuelo from @silverbells to @silverspoons. 😂
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2 hours ago, Colte Gal said:

Wow. Thanks for the info on Asuelo @Silver Bells. I went to the website and it’s impressive. I’m glad that he has a job that is definitely in his wheelhouse and that he seems to love. Frauded by TLC yet again. 

I can’t take credit, as I didn’t post that, lol.  “silverspoons” did. 😀 

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My shock and surprise at her working for a teen mom youth group is that she had a *surprise pregnancy* with a one night stand because he says condoms are for slut people. She's full of shit. She cannot work with teen moms and not know the risk of pregnancy and the chances of being a single parent when having unprotected sex with a stranger and then be annoyed that he isn't how she imagined him, since she didn't actually know him and she can't claim ignorance of the situations when she worked in an organization that dealt with such things.

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On 7/14/2020 at 11:33 PM, mamadrama said:

And I think that's really being glossed over on the show. To run off is one thing and that's bad enough, but to send her on a wild goose chase when she was clearly not feeling well and should've been hanging out with her family? That takes a special kind of asshole. 

And was relying on her family to look after their kids?  If I got to the first false address, called him and he confirmed he sent me to the wrong place, I would have put a hold on the joint debit card and gone home.  And slept very soundly.  I am not kidding.  

 

On 7/14/2020 at 1:48 AM, Mrs. Landingham said:

Not for the first time, I give thanks for the fact that I possess both birth control and the brains to understand how it works. 

You and me both, friend.

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@silverspoons, wow that was totally unexpected information!  If I was them, I would move out of the in-laws house and move closer to that place where he works.  Clearly these are his people.  

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2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

And was relying on her family to look after their kids?  If I got to the first false address, called him and he confirmed he sent me to the wrong place, I would have put a hold on the joint debit card and gone home.  And slept very soundly.  I am not kidding.  

 

You and me both, friend.

Same. And he'd have found his own way back to Utah. Or Samoa.

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17 minutes ago, mamadrama said:

Same. And he'd have found his own way back to Utah. Or Samoa.

And the next morning, if he was not there?  I would have said, "Look, we had a go last night.  I am horribly embarrassed this has played out here and now, and in front of you.  Can we try to move on?"  My family has this thing called a healthy boundary so they would have been, "Oh, okay!"

 

4 hours ago, Christina said:

My shock and surprise at her working for a teen mom youth group is that she had a *surprise pregnancy* with a one night stand because he says condoms are for slut people. She's full of shit. She cannot work with teen moms and not know the risk of pregnancy and the chances of being a single parent when having unprotected sex with a stranger and then be annoyed that he isn't how she imagined him, since she didn't actually know him and she can't claim ignorance of the situations when she worked in an organization that dealt with such things.

I think she knew full well that sperm was gonna meet egg that night, or the next night.  Methinks Kalani wanted out from Mom and Dad's thumb.....but look where that got her.

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@SILVERSPOONS, wow that was totally unexpected information!  If I was them, I would move out of the in-laws house and move closer to that place where he works.  Clearly these are his people.  

It's hard to say no to a free house though...

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19 hours ago, Elizzikra said:

It's hard to say no to a free house though...

I was talking to my children and we could not think of a Samoan family that did not have extended family living with them. My kids went to school with some of the families that are in the cultural group Asuelo is in. It is just common for families to live together or have family visit for long times. It can be an Aunt that comes for a year or a nephew that comes to college for 4 years or siblings living together raising kids.  While I am sure saving money is good, I think living with family is important to them. 

I think we will see in the next two years if they will ever move out. Their home is not in what I would consider a good school area. The home and neighborhood is fine but the school borders here are crazy weird. There are about 20 elementary schools and only 2 I would not send my kids to (and I have personally visited all the schools) and their school is one of the two I would not send my kids to. There are no real private schools here so it is just public school so it will be telling to she if she moves or not when school is starting for her kids. 

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@silverspoons, so it’s ok to live with extended family in their culture.  I get that. I do remember when Asuelu wanted to be the head of the house but in reality he wouldnt be the head of the house In his own family either.  

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While it definitely sounds like the TLC fraudery is high-level with these two, I just can’t get past how he talked to her in the car while they were driving from UT to CA. Never mind that they were both using pretty dreadful language in front of the kids (esp the 2yo, who I guarantee understands a lot of the language and tone), but the “lying bitch” was dreadful. I don’t know, man.

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Bed edit or not he called her a lying bitch, ran off and lied about where he was...not even willing to suck it up for his sons Birthday. So he works 7 days a week so what?  So did my dad and he was also a parent who took me places and spent time with me.  Plus he fucked everyone on the resort he worked at but clearly condoms are for slut people. Nope. Hard pass on this misogyny 

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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I'm wondering if Lo is warning Asuelu to never raise a hand to Kalani, or his kids.    I used to work with some Pacific Islanders, and both women said domestic violence on Samoa is an epidemic.    Until recently in Samoa (as opposed to American Samoa) it wasn't even a crime to beat your wife.    I think Asuelu and Kalani both need to grow up and act like adults. 

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On 7/19/2020 at 2:05 PM, RoadFullOfPromise said:

 

While it definitely sounds like the TLC fraudery is high-level with these two, I just can’t get past how he talked to her in the car while they were driving from UT to CA.

 

I’ve long contended that, even if there was producer interference and encouragement to say such vile things about one’s wife and women in general, many men would refuse to go there. In my mind, regardless of whether Assholeu was just “reading his lines”or not, if he didn’t feel that way to some extent, he’d have said no. Tim, David, Alexi, even Robert wouldn’t agree to it and Robert is a cave man. 

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On 7/20/2020 at 7:48 PM, Auntie Anxiety said:

I’ve long contended that, even if there was producer interference and encouragement to say such vile things about one’s wife and women in general, many men would refuse to go there. In my mind, regardless of whether Assholeu was just “reading his lines”or not, if he didn’t feel that way to some extent, he’d have said no. Tim, David, Alexi, even Robert wouldn’t agree to it and Robert is a cave man. 

It shocks the hell out of me that despite Robert being... Robert...he almost always takes the side of the woman. He's an asshole, but I think his moral compass is much stronger than what I originally thought. I agree with a lot of what he says, even though I don't like him.

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On 7/21/2020 at 8:08 PM, mamadrama said:

It shocks the hell out of me that despite Robert being... Robert...he almost always takes the side of the woman. He's an asshole, but I think his moral compass is much stronger than what I originally thought. I agree with a lot of what he says, even though I don't like him.

I’ve noticed that as much as he likes to bitch and act all hard ass with Anny when she asks for something, he always does it (at least on PT). 

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Kalani posted about depression on her IG and someone made a response. These are not from Kalani's account in case she deletes her posts again, so the people who respond on these accounts are probably not reaching her directly. She may read them, though, idk

I wonder if we'll ever get to the point where depression is talked about more as a mental health issue and less as something that people can cure with diet, exercise, sunlight and happy thoughts. It's not like there are not situational and seasonal depressions that can be helped by those things, but telling someone who is mentioning being depressed that it's there fault for making bad decisions isn't helpful yet people still believe it is. 

 

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Asuelu posted multiple photos of a family hiking trip. I like seeing other land since I cannot travel anywhere. 

Edit: Kalani added some others:

 

Edited by Christina · Reason: Added paragraph.
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Does no one in that family own clothing that closes with a zipper and button?   And why does that baby have a pacifier in his face all the time?

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5 hours ago, Quof said:

Does no one in that family own clothing that closes with a zipper and button?   And why does that baby have a pacifier in his face all the time?

And the two-year-old always being held.

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As I understand it (I could be totally wrong), Asuelu has two half sisters (his mom's kids) in the U.S.    One lives somewhere in Utah, the other in Washington State.    The half-sisters are both American Samoa.    The picture of the sisters and the mother (with a lot of faces blurred out) had a bunch of kids, some might have been grand kids through.  The mother has a green card, and lives with the daughter in Washington State.      The mother seems to have a history of strange behavior.    The mother and sister in Washington are the ones that want $1,000 from the couple.   

The little boy in the previews is whining and crying in the car, so I bet that's why he always has a pacifier.  

The father, brother, and another sister live in Samoa (not American Samoa), and I think that's the other sister that wanted them to visit, and wanted money on a previous episode.  During the measles epidemic in Samoa. (I could have that totally wrong about the sister too). 

Mama Asuelu is a few sandwiches short of a picnic.    I'm glad they're going to see her, and not bringing her to Utah.   It's easier to leave for a hotel, and fly home, than to get Mama out of your house. 

Judging from the previews, I feel sorry for the other passengers on the plane to Seattle, because the one kid was already shrieking and crying on the way to the airport.  

  

Edited by CrazyInAlabama · Reason: To correct some info.
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2 hours ago, Cherrio said:

Anyone else think (I do) that Assholo's head is twice the normal size?   

 

And he looks pregnant.

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I had a crazy thought. What if the thousand that Mama Asuleu and sister are expecting is the cash for appearing on the episode? We know Sharp doesn't pay people other than the main characters so maybe they were expecting the cash from the TLC money for their cameo appearance?

 

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15 hours ago, greekmom said:

I had a crazy thought. What if the thousand that Mama Asuleu and sister are expecting is the cash for appearing on the episode? We know Sharp doesn't pay people other than the main characters so maybe they were expecting the cash from the TLC money for their cameo appearance?

 

I wasn't even totally sure they meant American money. Or money at all. They just said "1,000." Maybe they meant pumpkin seeds! 😀

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On 7/26/2020 at 10:06 PM, Christina said:

Asuelu posted multiple photos of a family hiking trip.

I think it's more of a car driving with occasional stroller walks at scenic turn outs sort of thing, but these two schlubs hiking? No way! 😉

On 7/27/2020 at 1:05 PM, CrazyInAlabama said:

The mother seems to have a history of strange behavior. 

I thought she seemed off. I wonder if Asshuelo has some sort of psych issue.

Edited by gingerella
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1 hour ago, gingerella said:

I think it's more of a car driving with occasional stroller walks at scenic turn outs sort of thing, but these two schlubs hiking? No way! 😉

I thought she seemed off. I wonder if Asshuelo has some sort of psych issue.

Mama flailing her arms reminded me of Asuelu hitting himself in the head at the tell all.  They both remind me of a baby having a temper tantrum.

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What I have learned through a combination of the comments and posts on Aseulu's IG and through talk with my one set of cast member friends who don't mind spilling the tea... I'll try to add screenshots to this later:

Aseulu has been earning a regular salary for his choreography work with the park for more than 2 years. He earns decent money. The yogurt thing was just show shenanigans, even though he occasionally works there as well. They are not broke and he works long hours. They pay the house bills, not her family. Also, her family doesn't live there full time.

Long before he met Kalani, his mother and several other family members lived in Utah. He still has family and friends there, hence the big reason for their move. 

They were never paying for the trip to Samoa, the production company was. Production is also paying for the other cast members to return home. It all started with Syngin and then went from there.

He had visited Utah before meeting Kalani. The whole thing about him believing everyone in the US was rich is bogus. He'd been there before.

Him leaving on the bus and getting angry wasn't because of his argument with Kalani, it was due to a fight with production. Kalani's story about driving around and looking for him was fake. Her family supported him leaving the filming site. I'm no longer even totally sure he spent the night away. Once production wrapped up I'm pretty sure he returned. This is one of the reasons that part wasn't referenced in his convo with Lo.

Whatever they show about the upcoming Washington trip, they actually had a good time. They spent almost 2 weeks, it was a pre-planned trip for his dance group, and they did a lot of hiking and family things around Oregon, too. The money referenced was for filming. 

He's been choreographing and performing in the Zion Park's Polynesian show since last summer, but he's been employed by them longer than that: https://www.instagram.com/p/By_-DAhBD9I/?igshid=jxsxbdm69ue2

Like a lot of cast members they bring in extra income by doing special appearances around the country. They've been paid to do events in NYC, Washington, California... here's one in Vegas: https://www.instagram.com/p/BuhGQrPBuXA/?igshid=1jb5nqinzhbku

And an event in Washington state: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw5XXgXBFV2/?igshid=w5tzs5qm4xx9

And in LA: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt-Ae_0hcAR/?igshid=wjdvclwdlh72

 

Pretty sure Oliver's birthday trip coincided with a paid event: https://www.instagram.com/p/B7xsX47BS9U/?igshid=1lf5jfubcud3j

 In addition to the park, he also belongs to a traditional dance group that performs for special events. He teaches classes every week at the community college: https://www.instagram.com/p/BvcOehdhtUh/?igshid=1hhxj4mycbu9u

They did a return trip to Samoa in 2019 and the lodging was covered by their resort. https://www.instagram.com/p/BscZVNdB9Zy/?igshid=dt7ez4pv0f6r

So this whole thing about how he needs to get a real job and how Kalani should contribute financially if they're so broke? Not necessary. IMO they're doing the show to build up their social media (he's pretty active on Tik Tok) where he is pushing his dancing and cooking. It still makes me side eye them, though. Knowing that they continue to film even though he's looking like a slacking asshole just makes me think they kinda deserve the feedback. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited by mamadrama
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13 hours ago, mamadrama said:

What I have learned through a combination of the comments and posts on Aseulu's IG and through talk with my one set of cast member friends who don't mind spilling the tea... I'll try to add screenshots to this later:

Aseulu has been earning a regular salary for his choreography work with the park for more than 2 years. He earns decent money. The yogurt thing was just show shenanigans, even though he occasionally works there as well. They are not broke and he works long hours. They pay the house bills, not her family. Also, her family doesn't live there full time.

Long before he met Kalani, his mother and several other family members lived in Utah. He still has family and friends there, hence the big reason for their move. 

They were never paying for the trip to Samoa, the production company was. Production is also paying for the other cast members to return home. It all started with Syngin and then went from there.

He had visited Utah before meeting Kalani. The whole thing about him believing everyone in the US was rich is bogus. He'd been there before.

Him leaving on the bus and getting angry wasn't because of his argument with Kalani, it was due to a fight with production. Kalani's story about driving around and looking for him was fake. Her family supported him leaving the filming site. I'm no longer even totally sure he spent the night away. Once production wrapped up I'm pretty sure he returned. This is one of the reasons that part wasn't referenced in his convo with Lo.

Whatever they show about the upcoming Washington trip, they actually had a good time. They spent almost 2 weeks, it was a pre-planned trip for his dance group, and they did a lot of hiking and family things around Oregon, too. The money referenced was for filming. 

He's been choreographing and performing in the Zion Park's Polynesian show since last summer, but he's been employed by them longer than that: https://www.instagram.com/p/By_-DAhBD9I/?igshid=jxsxbdm69ue2

Like a lot of cast members they bring in extra income by doing special appearances around the country. They've been paid to do events in NYC, Washington, California... here's one in Vegas: https://www.instagram.com/p/BuhGQrPBuXA/?igshid=1jb5nqinzhbku

And an event in Washington state: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bw5XXgXBFV2/?igshid=w5tzs5qm4xx9

And in LA: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bt-Ae_0hcAR/?igshid=wjdvclwdlh72

 

Pretty sure Oliver's birthday trip coincided with a paid event: https://www.instagram.com/p/B7xsX47BS9U/?igshid=1lf5jfubcud3j

 In addition to the park, he also belongs to a traditional dance group that performs for special events. He teaches classes every week at the community college: https://www.instagram.com/p/BvcOehdhtUh/?igshid=1hhxj4mycbu9u

They did a return trip to Samoa in 2019 and the lodging was covered by their resort. https://www.instagram.com/p/BscZVNdB9Zy/?igshid=dt7ez4pv0f6r

So this whole thing about how he needs to get a real job and how Kalani should contribute financially if they're so broke? Not necessary. IMO they're doing the show to build up their social media (he's pretty active on Tik Tok) where he is pushing his dancing and cooking. It still makes me side eye them, though. Knowing that they continue to film even though he's looking like a slacking asshole just makes me think they kinda deserve the feedback. 

 

That's a lot to unpack! Let me grab a beer to help digest this all. But seriously - great intel mamadrama!

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