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Joe Hellandback

S06.E06: All the Way

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The Good; Our little Dawnie is growing up. But maybe not as fast as she'd like to think.

The Bad; Would Dawn really consider giving herself to a boy she'd known 5 minutes? Probably not, maybe she was going to give him the pencil all along?

Best line; Buffy; "You were parking with a vamp?"

Kinky dinky; Anya dresses up as one of Charlie's Angels (Farrah hair) and mentions that she and Xander play sex games. When Buffy suggests that Spike wear a collar he suggests a leather one. Anya wants obscenely muscular male strippers for her hen night, a shame we never get to see her's or Xander's (although I've read at least one very funny fanfic in that regard called The Last Night). When Xander remarks "I'm going to marry that girl" Buffy thinks he's referring to her 15 year old sister. Dawn's first kiss. She has a thing for guys in jackets which we'll

Spoiler

see again in 'Him'.

She demonstrates the same poor taste in men as Buffy and Joyce, it obviously runs in the family. Anya and Dawn dance the dance of 'capitalist superiority' together and Willow joins Xander and Anya later. Buffy suggests that Xander used to pay girls to date him and he replies 'Define date?', maybe Riley, Giles and Angel weren't the only ones to frequent 'Tavern Wenches'? Dawn the voyeur once again, interrupting a courting couple who call her a "Perv". Dawn seems to like guys with cars, wonder what she thought of Xander's in The Zeppo. Dawn denies she's a 'kiss slut'.


Captain Subtext; The 'Willow-uses-too-much-magic' subtext now becomes a text. Tara says she is 'not really one for the timber' suggesting she's (technically at least) a virgin. When Xander announces his engagement look at Willow's expression, just a little hint of longing. Willow refers to herself as a 'hot mama-yama'.

Apocalypses; 6

Scoobies in bondage: Buffy: 8 Giles: 4 Cordy: 5 Will: 3 Jenny: 1 Angel: 4 Oz: 1 Faith: 3 Joyce: 1 Wes: 1 Xander; 1 Dawn; 3

Scoobies knocked out: Buffy: 16 Giles: 11 Cordy: 6 Xander: 9 Will: 5 Jenny: 2 Angel: 6 Oz: 3 Faith: 1 Joyce: 3 Wes: 1 Anya;2 Dawn; 1

Kills: Dawn stakes her first vamp, yay! Good night for Giles who kills 3, 2 for Buffy (love the car door decapitation) and 2 for Spike presuming he kills the second one that attacks him? Buffy: 98 vamps, 40 demons, 6 monsters, 3 humans, 1 werewolf, 1 spirit warrior & a robot Giles: 8 vamps, 2 demon, 1 human, 1 god.

Cordy: 3 vamps, a demon Will: 6 vamps + 1 demon +1 fawn.

Angel: 3 vamps, 1 demon, 1 human Oz: 3 vamps, 1 zombie Faith: 16 vamps, 5 demons, 3 humans Xander: 5 vamps, 2 zombies, 1 a demon, Anya: 1 vamp and 1 a demon Riley; 18 vamps + 7 demons Spike; 5 vamps and 2 demon Buffybot; 2 vamps Tara; 1 demon Dawn; 1 vamp

Scoobies go evil: Giles: 1 Cordy: 1 Will: 2 Jenny: 1 Angel: 1 Oz: 1 Joyce: 1 Xander: 4 Anya; 1 Dawn; 1 Alternate scoobies: Buffy: 6 Giles: 3 Cordy: 1 Will: 2 Jenny: 2 Angel: 3 Oz: 2 Joyce: 2 Xander: 3

Recurring characters killed: 10 Jesse, Flutie, Jenny, Kendra, Larry, Snyder, Professor Walsh, Forrest, McNamara, Joyce Sunnydale deaths; the creepy old man, the car driver alive as far as we know.

90; Total number of scoobies: 7 Xander, Willow, Buffy, Anya, Tara, Spike, Giles Xander demon magnet: 5(6?) Preying Mantis Lady, Inca Mummy Girl, Drusilla, VampWillow, Anya (arguably Buffy & Faith with their demon essences?), Dracula?

Scoobies shot: Giles: 2 Angel: 3 Oz: 4 Riley; 1 Notches on Scooby bedpost: Giles: 2; Joyce & Olivia, possibly Jenny and 3xDraccy babes? Cordy: 1? Buffy: 3 confirmed; Angel, Parker,Riley, 1 possible, Dracula(?) Angel: 1;Buffy Joyce: 1;Giles, 2 possible, Ted and Dracula(?) Oz: 3; Groupie, Willow & Verucca Faith:2 ;Xander, Riley Xander: 2; Faith, Anya Willow: 2;Oz and Tara Riley; 3; Buffy, Sandy and unnamed vampwhore

Spike; good or bad? Charging to the rescue of Dawn but then he's always liked her

Dawn in peril; 5 courting with a vamp

Dawn the bashful virgin; 2 Tara saves Dawn from Anya's sex talk.

Buffy/Dawn more than sisters; again, Buffy seems to just sense that Dawn is in trouble and where to find her.

Questions and observations; A fun ep, we see that Dawnie won't be an adorable moppet forever, Joyce's little girl is starting to grow up. One of the best things about the later seasons of Buffy is getting to watch Dawn blossom, shame we never get to see her go to her prom, graduate etc And as usual with the Summer's girls her taste in men is a disaster. Buffy still leaves it to Giles to spank Dawn but he knows that eventually it's something she must do herself. Note contrary to what Dawn says later Buffy doesn't want Dawn to go out on Halloween, she wants to spend time with her and almost seems jealous of Janice.

Marks out of 10; 8/10 because I'm a sucker for Dawn stories

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Just a reminder, the Willow-bashing is now so toxic that Tara, who actually offered to teach Dawn how to make Teddy Bears dance (omg the  horror!  Kids and magic, cats and dogs, what was Tara thinking?), goes completely sprocket at the idea of Will saving some time by teleporting the decorations over from Party City.

And Willow, to show off her fresh supply of stupid pills, suggests the insane "shift everyone who isn't a 15-year-old girl into an alternate dimension" spell at the Bronze, despite the fact that this would still leave them with multiple (confused, hostile) freshman girls to deal with and despite the fact that the show has already established three better ways for Willow to find Dawnie, this season alone:

1) Telepathy (Bargaining, Part 1)

2) Tinkerbell lights (Bargaining, Part 2)

3) Locator Spell (Flooded)

Also, you could just look.  Dawn's rather tall and has a nice rack.  She's not that hard to spot, actually.

And we have Buffy, pretty much out of the blue, being all spluttery and thinking Spike's talking dirty when he really isn't.  Because

Spoiler

next episode is the Big Spuffy Love Musical Extravaganza and

we have to show Buffy being all "I can't resist your sinister attraction" sooner or later, previous canon be damned!

Xander announces his intention to spend his life chained to his Hellbitch.  Giles acts like an asshole about it.  (Of course he does…)

Spike makes an asinine speech about how vampires are supposed to follow the "rules" and take Halloween off.  That Spike, always such a stickler for tradition and rules!  Which vampire led the attack in Halloween (and practically had a boner from the chaos) again?  Ah, who needs consistent characterization, right?

Useless episode that avoids being utter crap by virtue of three minor virtues:

Spoiler

1) Zach kills old man Kaltenbach, thus becoming the very last vampire to kill a human on-screen.  And we've only got 38 essentially vampire-free episodes to go!  Only notable for the trivia aspect, as obviously I'm not celebrating the complete annihilation of the series premise

2)  Amber Tamblyn appears, thus setting up one of my favorite LYNHOBtVS entries, among my own submissions:

Quote

JANICE:  Dawn, God told me to get the Hell away from you.  No, literally.

3) Witchie-poo is Just.That.Cute.

So, three things worth citing.  Thus, 3/10.  But still worthy of the stench that is Season Sux.

12 hours ago, Joe Hellandback said:

Kinky dinky; Anya…mentions that she and Xander play sex games.

I think this is more like "boring and repetitive".  Very boring and very repetitive. For about a season now.  Possibly two.

No wonder Buffy thought (subconsciously hoped?) that Xander was announcing his intentions to marry Dawn, instead.

Edited by Halting Hex
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31 minutes ago, Halting Hex said:

Xander announces his intention to spend his life chained to his Hellbitch.

One of the lowest points in the whole show actually. My blood starts boiling every time I recall the fatal moment (while watchin' that insanity I began to appreciate Cordy in some way even back then). Actually there are times I have violent intentions towards the writing staff for the whole Xanya disgrace. No better spouse for Xander on the entire West Coast, huh? Did Willow really revoke that demon-magnetic spell from Something Blue? I'm starting to think not. But at least she showed total lack of enthusiasm for her friend's choice. And that's good. If only our Wicca used some good ol' magic to open Xander's eyes... 

Spoiler

Though thanks God the writers had mercy on Xander and allowed him to avoid probably the worst mistake in his life closer to season's end.

 

4 hours ago, Joe Hellandback said:

Kinky dinky; Anya dresses up as one of Charlie's Angels (Farrah hair) and mentions that she and Xander play sex games.

Oh come on! W/X footsie in Band Candy was 10,000 times more sexy than everything Xander and Anya did in their bed combined. What's more, I wanna shut my ears or even throw up every time Anya mentions sex in the conversation.

 

4 hours ago, Joe Hellandback said:

the creepy old man

If you mean old Kaltenbach, I don't see anything "creepy" about him. Was he "creepy" just because of his age and sex? True, Kaltenbach couldn't compete with Spikey or even Giles when it came to, you know, overall popularity or being attractive in the female eyes, but that's not enough I guess to be considered creepy type. Not to mention that age alone is hardly an excuse for sentencing someone to death. But JMO.

In fact the murder of old man Kaltenbach is one of those things that stil bug me about the ep. I know that humans were treated as merely snack since previous season, but... little Dawnie could at least express some concern over the poor man's fate since her almost boyfriend turned out to be a fucking vampire. Because, you know, the two of them spent some time alone in the kitchen. And what about some responsibility for actual accessory to murder in Dawne's case?

Always wondered: how many days passed before someone discovered Kaltenbach's body (the man seemed to have no family) in his apartment? Then again, who cares about some humanary stew from vampires' dietary? After all we have Angel-while-in-hell, Joyce, Buffy-while-in-heeeeeeaaaven 

Spoiler

or Tara

  to mourn. That's enough.

 

1 hour ago, Halting Hex said:

Spike makes an asinine speech about how vampires are supposed to follow the "rules" and take Halloween off.  That Spike, always such a stickler for tradition and rules!  Which vampire led the attack in Halloween (and practically had a boner from the chaos) again?  Ah, who needs consistent characterization, right?

That's a very good point. I still remember his "I don't go much for tradition" remark from Lie to Me. Maybe chipping was supposed to make a traditionalist out of a rebel, who knows...
 

1 hour ago, Halting Hex said:

Amber Tamblyn appears

You know, I'd be more than happy if Dawn and Janice spent the entire evening (and maybe even more) together doing anything other than roaming the streets with some dumb guys looking for trouble.

The less is written about Willow/Tara falling-out, the better. Though I can't call myself a big fan of that 'ship and therefore I'm not overly concerned about the fate of their "miraculous love". In fact nearly all relationships Joss rooted for sucked in one way or another. 

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On ‎09‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 1:53 PM, Halting Hex said:

Just a reminder, the Willow-bashing is now so toxic that Tara, who actually offered to teach Dawn how to make Teddy Bears dance (omg the  horror!  Kids and magic, cats and dogs, what was Tara thinking?), goes completely sprocket at the idea of Will saving some time by teleporting the decorations over from Party City.

And Willow, to show off her fresh supply of stupid pills, suggests the insane "shift everyone who isn't a 15-year-old girl into an alternate dimension" spell at the Bronze, despite the fact that this would still leave them with multiple (confused, hostile) freshman girls to deal with and despite the fact that the show has already established three better ways for Willow to find Dawnie, this season alone:

1) Telepathy (Bargaining, Part 1)

2) Tinkerbell lights (Bargaining, Part 2)

3) Locator Spell (Flooded)

Also, you could just look.  Dawn's rather tall and has a nice rack.  She's not that hard to spot, actually.

And we have Buffy, pretty much out of the blue, being all spluttery and thinking Spike's talking dirty when he really isn't.  Because

  Reveal hidden contents

next episode is the Big Spuffy Love Musical Extravaganza and

we have to show Buffy being all "I can't resist your sinister attraction" sooner or later, previous canon be damned!

Xander announces his intention to spend his life chained to his Hellbitch.  Giles acts like an asshole about it.  (Of course he does…)

Spike makes an asinine speech about how vampires are supposed to follow the "rules" and take Halloween off.  That Spike, always such a stickler for tradition and rules!  Which vampire led the attack in Halloween (and practically had a boner from the chaos) again?  Ah, who needs consistent characterization, right?

Useless episode that avoids being utter crap by virtue of three minor virtues:

  Reveal hidden contents

1) Zach kills old man Kaltenbach, thus becoming the very last vampire to kill a human on-screen.  And we've only got 38 essentially vampire-free episodes to go!  Only notable for the trivia aspect, as obviously I'm not celebrating the complete annihilation of the series premise

2)  Amber Tamblyn appears, thus setting up one of my favorite LYNHOBtVS entries, among my own submissions:

3) Witchie-poo is Just.That.Cute.

So, three things worth citing.  Thus, 3/10.  But still worthy of the stench that is Season Sux.

I think this is more like "boring and repetitive".  Very boring and very repetitive. For about a season now.  Possibly two.

No wonder Buffy thought (subconsciously hoped?) that Xander was announcing his intentions to marry Dawn, instead.

Unfair, I like Xander/Anya, they're a quirky couple and I sympathise with Spuffy. How does Giles act like an asshole exactly? And what is LYNHOBTVS?

On ‎09‎/‎10‎/‎2018 at 3:56 PM, lembergwatcher said:

One of the lowest points in the whole show actually. My blood starts boiling every time I recall the fatal moment (while watchin' that insanity I began to appreciate Cordy in some way even back then). Actually there are times I have violent intentions towards the writing staff for the whole Xanya disgrace. No better spouse for Xander on the entire West Coast, huh? Did Willow really revoke that demon-magnetic spell from Something Blue? I'm starting to think not. But at least she showed total lack of enthusiasm for her friend's choice. And that's good. If only our Wicca used some good ol' magic to open Xander's eyes... 

  Reveal hidden contents

Though thanks God the writers had mercy on Xander and allowed him to avoid probably the worst mistake in his life closer to season's end.

 

Oh come on! W/X footsie in Band Candy was 10,000 times more sexy than everything Xander and Anya did in their bed combined. What's more, I wanna shut my ears or even throw up every time Anya mentions sex in the conversation.

 

If you mean old Kaltenbach, I don't see anything "creepy" about him. Was he "creepy" just because of his age and sex? True, Kaltenbach couldn't compete with Spikey or even Giles when it came to, you know, overall popularity or being attractive in the female eyes, but that's not enough I guess to be considered creepy type. Not to mention that age alone is hardly an excuse for sentencing someone to death. But JMO.

In fact the murder of old man Kaltenbach is one of those things that stil bug me about the ep. I know that humans were treated as merely snack since previous season, but... little Dawnie could at least express some concern over the poor man's fate since her almost boyfriend turned out to be a fucking vampire. Because, you know, the two of them spent some time alone in the kitchen. And what about some responsibility for actual accessory to murder in Dawne's case?

Always wondered: how many days passed before someone discovered Kaltenbach's body (the man seemed to have no family) in his apartment? Then again, who cares about some humanary stew from vampires' dietary? After all we have Angel-while-in-hell, Joyce, Buffy-while-in-heeeeeeaaaven 

  Reveal hidden contents

or Tara

  to mourn. That's enough.

 

That's a very good point. I still remember his "I don't go much for tradition" remark from Lie to Me. Maybe chipping was supposed to make a traditionalist out of a rebel, who knows...
 

You know, I'd be more than happy if Dawn and Janice spent the entire evening (and maybe even more) together doing anything other than roaming the streets with some dumb guys looking for trouble.

The less is written about Willow/Tara falling-out, the better. Though I can't call myself a big fan of that 'ship and therefore I'm not overly concerned about the fate of their "miraculous love". In fact nearly all relationships Joss rooted for sucked in one way or another. 

A lot of people are upset about Tara/Willow fighting but you know couples fight, gay or straight or whatever. I figure they'll phone the police later for the old man, bit busy to think of him before that. I like Xillow playing footsie but it's more an 'Awwwww' moment than a sexy one. 

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21 minutes ago, Joe Hellandback said:

what is LYNHOBTVS?

"Lines You'll Never Hear on Buffy the Vampire Slayer", one of my favorite topics from TWoP.  Quoting one of my favorite posters there ;)

Quote

From Goodbye, Iowa:

XANDER (admiring the Initiative complex): Okay, I totally get it now.  Can I have sex with Riley, too?

BUFFY:  And what am I getting out of this, Anya?  Pass.

XANDER:  Er, no, Buff, that's not what I mean—

BUFFY:  Now, if you'd been thinking this way two years ago, Cordelia and I could have had some fun!  I mean, have you seen the rack on her?  But nooo, you and Angel just couldn't get along…

XANDER:  Okay, gagging now!

Stuff such as that.

21 minutes ago, Joe Hellandback said:

How does Giles act like an asshole exactly?

He ruins Xander's moment of happiness by raising his anxieties about the complexities of marriage, he pays Anya (his business partner, no less) non-compliments such as "very nice former vengeance demon", and once he's got Xander in a state  of agitation, he offers nothing in the way of comfort or practical advice.  Spike couldn't have done a "better" job of ruining Xander's night.  (The difference being that Xander, the former abused child, isn't looking to Spike as a quasi-parental figure.)

But, you know, Giles acting like an ass to Xander is supposed to be "funny".  Or so the Dawnverse teaches us.  

Edited by Halting Hex

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11 hours ago, Halting Hex said:

"Lines You'll Never Hear on Buffy the Vampire Slayer", one of my favorite topics from TWoP.  Quoting one of my favorite posters there ;)

Stuff such as that.

He ruins Xander's moment of happiness by raising his anxieties about the complexities of marriage, he pays Anya (his business partner, no less) non-compliments such as "very nice former vengeance demon", and once he's got Xander in a state  of agitation, he offers nothing in the way of comfort or practical advice.  Spike couldn't have done a "better" job of ruining Xander's night.  (The difference being that Xander, the former abused child, isn't looking to Spike as a quasi-parental figure.)

But, you know, Giles acting like an ass to Xander is supposed to be "funny".  Or so the Dawnverse teaches us.  

We should start that thread here. Frankly Anya is gorgeous (although CC is hotter) and I think Xander would be just fine with it as long as he could watch. And I think Giles is being the adult, pointing out things he should think about? I don't count Xander as abused exactly and I doubt Dawn being inserted into reality has much influence on Xanya  

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In a way Tara's sudden intolerance of Willow's spell-casting undermines the whole concept of their relationship. Because let's be honest: if it wasn't for magic first and foremost, why else would those two have become a couple? Mutual interest in magic was the reason Willow and Tara met and got to know each other, after all. I doubt both of them would have looked each other's way if they didn't sense something supernatural about one another. I dare say magic played a key role in their relationship's evolving into something bigger than just close friendship either (of course, if I understand Joss' message in Who Are You correctly). Willow's magic use skyrocketed after she started dating Tara and Wicca #4 was the one who encouraged it (she was obviously proud of Willow for having "blown right past" her in Intervention).

Though W/T was way more mature than X/A and I'm not saying their relationship was built entirely on witchcraft, but what other common interests (besides magic) did they share - well, maybe except for the love for Miss Kitty Fantastico? So what's the alternative?

Tara says she wants Willow to stop. What if your girlfriend can't stop, Tara? Shouldn't you be the closest person to her and know her best and therefore see something is amiss, i.e. that it's not the matter of a simple desire to stop?

Edited by lembergwatcher

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On 1/28/2019 at 8:05 PM, lembergwatcher said:

Tara says she wants Willow to stop. What if your girlfriend can't stop, Tara? Shouldn't you be the closest person to her and know her best and therefore see something is amiss, i.e. that it's not the matter of a simple desire to stop?

Well, I guess the question whether

Spoiler

Tara knows about the existence of the Spellcasters Anonymous group, and thus the fact that magic can be an addiction.  We don't really get any indication one way or another; even though Tara sees Willow at Buffy's party right after Willow goes to her meeting in Older and Far Away, they don't discuss Willow's attendance.  It's possible that Tara has no idea what Willow is doing to get "clean".

But that's a discussion for later on, I suppose.

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On 10/9/2018 at 8:53 AM, Halting Hex said:

Ah, who needs consistent characterization, right?

Speaking of which…

May, 2001:  Willow is so upset at Tara's having been brainsucked that she's willing to have her head explode if that's the risk it takes to restore Tara's sanity.

October, 2001:  Willow casually erases Tara's memory.  Because STFU already, girl…Momma needs her shut-eye.

"Tara's mental health?  Yeah, whatever.  So, so over it."

Sigh.

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On 10/9/2018 at 8:53 AM, Halting Hex said:

teleporting the decorations over from Party City

Party City joins Hot Dog on a Stick as "companies that are only regional or sector-specific, so you weren't sure if they were real or fictional, but they're real".  

In fact, their stock is so cheap currently that I'm considering buying some.  (Yeah, I buy stock now.  I didn't, previously, because I didn't want to be the cause of some a-hole CEO sending jobs to Mexico because "I have a duty to the stockholders" and that sort of corporate evil garbage.  But there were some obvious value plays when COVID crashed the market [I mean, people will drive again, eventually, so I figured Ford was worth more than $5 a share.  And they had 7 months' worth of cash reserves, even if they didn't earn a single dollar, so I figured it was safe], so I at least stuck a toe in.) 

Obviously, hardly anybody's throwing parties right now and apparently there was a helium shortage (of all things) last year and apparently the company wasn't being terrifically managed if it fell from the $20/share highs of 2015 to the $7.50 or so it was trading at before the helium crisis sucked even more value out of the shares…but, presumably both COVID and the helium issue will eventually be resolved, so it should have some bounce-back down the road, IMO.

Unless witches start teleporting goods without paying for them en masse, that is.  Watch it, girls.  I've got my eye on you.  Don't hurt my money! [/Anya]

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On 1/29/2019 at 1:05 AM, lembergwatcher said:

In a way Tara's sudden intolerance of Willow's spell-casting undermines the whole concept of their relationship. Because let's be honest: if it wasn't for magic first and foremost, why else would those two have become a couple? Mutual interest in magic was the reason Willow and Tara met and got to know each other, after all. I doubt both of them would have looked each other's way if they didn't sense something supernatural about one another. I dare say magic played a key role in their relationship's evolving into something bigger than just close friendship either (of course, if I understand Joss' message in Who Are You correctly). Willow's magic use skyrocketed after she started dating Tara and Wicca #4 was the one who encouraged it (she was obviously proud of Willow for having "blown right past" her in Intervention).

Though W/T was way more mature than X/A and I'm not saying their relationship was built entirely on witchcraft, but what other common interests (besides magic) did they share - well, maybe except for the love for Miss Kitty Fantastico? So what's the alternative?

Tara says she wants Willow to stop. What if your girlfriend can't stop, Tara? Shouldn't you be the closest person to her and know her best and therefore see something is amiss, i.e. that it's not the matter of a simple desire to stop?

Yet what if she's actually enabling the addiction. 

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