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The Apprentice [UK]

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He was great on Would I Lie To You. His episode is my favorite.. 

Mine as well. The scenes with the cuddle jumpers are brilliant. They seemed to drive David Mitchell almost to hysteria.

Edited by HauntedBathroom
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Just found out Dara O'Briain is leaving The Apprentice: You're Fired.  I'll miss him. Nick and now Dara.  Next series will definitely be different. I don't like change. 

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I'll tune back in when they announce that Allan Sugar is leaving the show. That man's ego has grown to gargantuan proportions. Until then, no thanks.

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Shock news!!! Bianca and her business have been "forced" to leave Croydon, blares local paper. Of course, when you look a bit closer, it turns out that she's taking her tights business to Penge because her office building is being converted into flats, but it's good to know that she's still going ahead with her plans.

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I'll tune back in when they announce that Allan Sugar is leaving the show. That man's ego has grown to gargantuan proportions. Until then, no thanks.

I'd still rather have a dozen Alan Sugars than one Donald Trump.

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The Apprentice that isn't hosted by a big orange buffoon is back for it's 11th edition. British people are in it!

 

Talk!

Edited by Kromm
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I'm not sure which qualifies as Dumbest Move of the Task:  Trying to sell fish products to a VEGAN restaurant that clearly brands itself as VEGAN or insisting on making fishcakes that were too big just because the specifications in the recipe called for making them that size when the amount of ingredients available simply wouldn't permit it .  Apparently that idiot never heard of making adjustments to the recipe based upon the actual availability of the ingredients and the order size.

 

Had it not been the first episode of the series, I think Lord Sugar would have done a triple firing right then and there.  April is lucky that she only got off with a warning.

Edited by legaleagle53
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So Karen is technically Sugar's social equal now, right?  He's only a Baron as I recall.

 

No.  His title is LORD Alan Sugar.  He's actually a member of the House of Lords, in fact.

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No.  His title is LORD Alan Sugar.  He's actually a member of the House of Lords, in fact.

Sorry to contradict, but "Lord" is the form of address for a Baron. 

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"Western" was one of the better products they've ever had on the show?  Uh, seriously?  It was the deserving winner, but clearly, adverts showing guys shampooing their hair and then listing the cactus ingredient is literally the bare minimum they could've done.

 

Hard to argue with either firing choice.  Dan was useless at everything and seemingly wasn't taking the actual 'Apprentice' thing seriously, whereas Aisha instantly created bad blood with her entire team and wouldn't listen to any of the valid objections raised by everyone else.  April and the terrible-pitching woman (forget the name) could've also both easily been fired as well, if Sugar had been in a double-firing mode.

 

An 18-person cast is just too unwieldy, a double-firing or two would've helped clear the lot out.  I feel there's still 4-5 people who I know nothing about, bad or good.  Of course, there are also 4-5 people I can instantly cross off since they're clearly idiots.

 

Happy Claude is on board, though I'll miss Nick Hewer.  Presumably he's gone onto a lucrative sweater-modeling career with Rob Brydon.

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 April and the terrible-pitching woman (forget the name) could've also both easily been fired as well, if Sugar had been in a double-firing mode.

 

Oh, yes, the woman who did the first part of the pitch for Desert Secrets was awful.  She had a robotic, stilted delivery that made me think that she had never given a public address before in her life.  And the one presenter on the men's team was just as bad -- what was with that awkward silence during his pitch, as though he's suddenly forgotten his lines?  Don't these people ever practice their pitches beforehand?

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Sorry to contradict, but "Lord" is the form of address for a Baron. 

Agreed.  Also, he isn't 'Lord Alan Sugar' but simply 'Lord Sugar'.  You can only be 'Lord Firstname' if you're the younger son of a Duke.

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Happy Claude is on board, though I'll miss Nick Hewer.  Presumably he's gone onto a lucrative sweater-modeling career with Rob Brydon.

 

I would definitely watch that advert.

 

I'm happy the show is back and Claude looks like he'll be a fun addition.

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I knew the women's team were going to lose when Aisha stated her boardroom strategy at the beginning of the task. Scratch that, I knew they were going to lose when they were all smug about being well-suited for the task in the cars leaving the Barbican.

 

I agree that the cast is too big - I still don't remember all the names, and some people like the baby-faced dude whose work the men's PM was micro-managing I could swear I've never seen before.

 

Selina looks so much like Christina Applegate, it's uncanny.

Edited by chocolatine

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How could anyone not know where Dover is?

 

I think the girls are getting too hung up on who to blame later while still on the task.  Vana was too inflexible as PM.

 

I like Ruth.  I don't think she'll win, but she's committed to everything she does and she doesn't mind looking weird while doing it.  Richard seems like the strongest of the boys atm.

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My mind boggles at these scavenger hunt episodes since they really should be the simplest tasks on the show if any of these players could keep their egos in check.  Everyone had to be responsible for "their" item and were so defensive about it --- shouldn't there be some flexibility built in?  If the team that isn't assigned, say, the anchor happens to drive by Andy's Anchor Emporium, they should be allowed to pop in just for the sake of getting something checked off the list.  For the big-ticket items like the mirror, those should be 'all hands on deck' items that should be searched for by everyone, since the penalty of NOT finding it is so steep.

 

I agree with Jenny, I honestly think I could perform this task better on my own than I could with seven other people all fighting for positioning around me and butting in.  They really should've saved this task for its usual mid-to-late-season placement when there are fewer candidates left.

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Oh, yes, the woman who did the first part of the pitch for Desert Secrets was awful.  She had a robotic, stilted delivery that made me think that she had never given a public address before in her life.  And the one presenter on the men's team was just as bad -- what was with that awkward silence during his pitch, as though he's suddenly forgotten his lines?  Don't these people ever practice their pitches beforehand?

"we're here to bring you a secret....a secret from the desert.....a desert secret"  huh?

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This one was pretty obviously forecast from the beginning.  It seems like almost every time one of these "pick a product" tasks requires a vendor to pick which of the two teams he/she prefers to sell their product, the team that loses the vendor's choice also loses the task.  Ruth didn't seem like anything more than the token goofy candidate so best that she get fired now rather than be dead weight for weeks on end.  Yet again we have a strong case for a double-firing, as Selina clearly should've been gone and is living on borrowed time in the process....Karren and Claude were ready to personally pack her bags.

 

For an insane moment, I thought the one team was actually going to choose the f'ing rabbit hutch as their high-end item.  A rabbit hutch that cost 1000 pounds, did I hear that right?!  What's the ratio of dog owners to rabbit owners at one of those pet expos, about 10-to-1?

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Tonight's ep was full of comic moments.  I think I particularly liked standing the boys' model in a wastepaper basket.

 

And apparently 45 is now the Grey Pound.

I did enjoy Karrens pique at being told she was too old to want to try a new shampoo.

 

And I'm cross at Ruth going, because she did seem to be genuinely entertaining. Although if I had to live with someone who'd burst into song first thing in the morning, I think I'd be less keen on her. I don't agree with Romesh that Selina should have been fired because she needed help to close her sale, she'd clearly got further than Ruth because she'd got someone to the point where they'd said they wanted to buy. But I think that once she had that sale, she turned off making any effort.

 

And I'm going to miss Ruth's eye-rapingly awful clothes! The suit she wore as she took the taxi ride of shame left me flabbergasted. It's always nice to see someone who's not wearing the uniform of business suit in black/grey/navy, it helps me remember them.

Edited by HauntedBathroom
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Who the hell brings a chicken to a business meeting to sell a product, but just leaves the chicken shit sitting on a table and doesn't have a bag to pick it up?

 

It's the absolute height of rudeness to just allow the chicken you decided to bring to a pitch meeting take a dump on a table and not even clean it up.

 

Even if you had to run to the restroom and get a paper towel, or ask the guys with the poop bags if you could borrow one to assume the chicken shit should be the responsibility of anyone besides the person who brought the chicken seems bizarre.

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I did enjoy Karrens pique at being told she was too old to want to try a new shampoo.

 

And I'm cross at Ruth going, because she did seem to be genuinely entertaining. Although if I had to live with someone who'd burst into song first thing in the morning, I think I'd be less keen on her. I don't agree with Romesh that Selina should have been fired because she needed help to close her sale, she'd clearly got further than Ruth because she'd got someone to the point where they'd said they wanted to buy. But I think that once she had that sale, she turned off making any effort.

 

And I'm going to miss Ruth's eye-rapingly awful clothes! The suit she wore as she took the taxi ride of shame left me flabbergasted. It's always nice to see someone who's not wearing the uniform of business suit in black/grey/navy, it helps me remember them.

 

 

I liked Ruth, but not selling anything on a sales task, when your professional background is sales, is always going to buy you a ticket home on this show.

 

I would have sent Selina home on this task.

 

Ruth's background was in phone sales and as a phone sales trainer.  I feel like the skill set may have been a little different because in phone sales the onus may be on simply keeping the person on the phone as long as possible and establishing any relationship in order to build trust and make a sale.

 

But more than that I think Ruth, more so than anyone, would have taken the constructive crticism on board and would have made immediate changes to her style because she wants it that much and would have hustled for it.  Someone like Selina doesn't want to hear the "no" and so once she made her one sale (or one more sale than Ruth) she figured she could be done for the day.  I feel like Ruth, once she made her changes would have tried to sell as many products as possible.

 

And I think Ruth would have done much better at the small ticket items.  I think Ruth is likable -- and people will always want to buy from a person they like....to a point.  They won't buy something completely out of their budget no matter how much they like a person.  However, they will be much more likely to buy a $20 cat toy, or cat warmer from a person they like.  And I think Ruth would have appealed to the London cat lady market that was simply at the show to buy a few new cat toys.  Selina just isn't all that likable and she wouldn't have made the effort to meet people that Ruth made.  I think with the higher end items, it was as Lord Sugar said, you have to quickly assess if the person has the money and interest to buy a $400 cat post....and if they don't you have to move on.  Its a pure numbers game with a high end product at an event like that.  You need to quickly filter through the 99 people who don't have the money to buy something like that, to get to the 1 person who will.  

 

I'm also a little surprised that the teams didn't think to sell the dual benefit of the cat warmer.  While it's primary benefit was for the cat, it could be used when the heat went out....or if you didn't want to heat the entire house and you just wanted a foot warmer for the bed.  I don't know how many more units they would have moved, but I might have at least mentioned it.....

Edited by RCharter
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Ruth's background was in phone sales and as a phone sales trainer.  I feel like the skill set may have been a little different because in phone sales the onus may be on simply keeping the person on the phone as long as possible and establishing any relationship in order to build trust and make a sale....And I think Ruth would have done much better at the small ticket items.  I think Ruth is likable -- and people will always want to buy from a person they like....to a point.  They won't buy something completely out of their budget no matter how much they like a person.  However, they will be much more likely to buy a $20 cat toy, or cat warmer froskillset.m a person they like.  And I think Ruth would have appealed to the London cat lady market that was simply at the show to buy a few new cat toys.  Selina just isn't all that likable and she wouldn't have made the effort to meet people that Ruth made.

Agreed that Ruth seemed to be working from the 'keep them on the line at all costs' skill set, but she seemed to actually get on with people, more than Selina does. Even if Ruth had made a sale, I think she would have kept talking to people, unlike Selina. For that reason, I think she might have been a better fit to the small items stall because...without meaning to be rude to Ruth, I think she could have talked to a slightly crazy cat-lady person better than any of the others. If Ruth had had to talk about a cats injured paw for 5 minutes to sell a t-shirt, she would have done it.

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I liked Selina better this week, although she made one big mistake she didn't get picked up on in telling the bloke she was desperate so he knew he could get the stock for a very low price, and her arithmetic skills are, er, poor.

 

Poor indecisive Sam was lucky to survive.  I don't think I've actually noticed him before.

 

Charleine was a bit petty in her dislike of Richard - clearly all the guys in his team thought she was being ridiculous, and she was.

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Another week, another boardroom where Sugar easily could've or should've fired two people but didn't.  With still a whopping 13 people left and relatively few episodes left in the season, there must be an absolute blood-letting coming. 

 

The editing fooled me, I thought for sure Charleine's team was going to lose that task and we'd get a clear Char vs. Richard showdown over who was to be fired.  Richard is clearly full of himself but Charleine's methods were ridiculous....openly asking to speak to David every time, even if to just parrot Richard's information?  Good lord.

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Thie thing I quite liked about the Charlaine/Richard showdown was that she didn't try to deny it in the boardroom, she flat out agreed she'd given him the position as sub-team leader to shut him up.

 

I'm glad Sam survived, because he seems lovely, but he really did overthink his brief. Karren looked about ready to rip out her hair as he kept going back on his concept. But at least he tried to give his book a moral, April's idea seemed to consist of "Bees are colourful and noisy, and everyone likes honey!"

 

1000000 bonus points to the producers for getting Claude and Karren to read their teams books. Claude sounded like Jackanory presented by a serial killer.

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I wonder if he might consider firing an entire team, if they really mess something up?  That would be a shock to them all.

It would be the first new thing to happen in Boardroom firings for a while.  I remember Trump getting rid of like 4 people at once, but I don't think it was the entire team was it?

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Great Episode.  I have despised Natalie from day 1, and felt she should have been fired on the first task that her team lost.  She keeps talking about what a hot shit pitch person she is, but she constantly screws it up.  And I almost never see her doing anything else.

 

This task was no different.  She KNEW the account they were pitching to.  Personally, and from past experience.  A positive experience.  Yet, she was worried about having a coughing fit?  And so she COMPLETELY boned out of the task?  Even if she was losing her voice, she could have croaked out a few words and let them know that they were such an important account that she made it a point to come to the pitch even though she was sick.  The retailers might have thrown a few more sales their way if they just saw a familiar face in the room.  She clearly didn't want to do the pitch because she is either: a) completely lying about having ever sold to that account and didn't want to get called out as a liar or b) she didn't want any responsibility if the pitch didn't go well.

 

 She didn't cough once during the entire task and only managed to scrape up a few pitiful coughs in the boardroom for Lord Sugar's benefit.

 

And Brett absolutely told her the numbers before she went into the account and she managed to flub it up.  I wouldn't be surprised if her entire CV was a complete work of fiction.  I don't think there has been one task where I've seen her really take on an important role, and quite a few where she seems to do nothing or mess up the one thing she keeps claiming she is good at.

 

I too, thought that Charlene's team was going to lose, but I was hoping that Lord Sugar would find a way to fire Natalie.

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It would be the first new thing to happen in Boardroom firings for a while.  I remember Trump getting rid of like 4 people at once, but I don't think it was the entire team was it?

 

As I recall, it was, which is why the moment that the winning team (who had been waiting for the boardroom survivors to return) realized that NOBODY was coming home is still etched into my memory.  The shock of dawning comprehension on their faces when they finally figured out what had happened is unforgettable to me.

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As I recall, it was, which is why the moment that the winning team (who had been waiting for the boardroom survivors to return) realized that NOBODY was coming home is still etched into my memory.  The shock of dawning comprehension on their faces when they finally figured out what had happened is unforgettable to me.

oh you're right!  I remember it being called a boardroom massacre, and I believe they had to all cram up together in a taxi.....so priceless.  But you're right, if it hadn't been the entire team there was no way he could have fired more than three.

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It sounds amazing ;)  (I've only seen the more recent celeb versions of the US show.)

it was positively revolutionary when it happened!  As another poster stated, the looks on their faces was not to be missed!

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Well, that was carnage.

 

Mergim seemed completely incompetent - the archetypal cowboy builder.  (BTW, what war was there in Albania?  I thought no one got refugee status from Albania.)  Elle seemed pretty clueless too.  Apparently the two of them had a fling during filming.

 

David and (on the other side) Sam also did themselves no favours with staggering displays of ineptness.  Sam was very, very lucky his team won.

 

Joseph did well.  I'd employ him to do my plumbing.  Also performing strongly: Brett and Vana.  Selina was a bit bitchy and not too enthusiastic about her admittedly unpleasant job.

 

I did think it was an excellent choice of task, not only seeing who can't handle getting their hands dirty, but also with the pricing stratagem - you have to get it low enough to get the job, high enough to make a profit - and organisation.

 

WRT the flyers - did either team actually get any work from them? Or was that failure a big red herring?

Edited by Occasional Hope
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Mergim seemed completely incompetent - the archetypal cowboy builder.  (BTW, what war was there in Albania?  I thought no one got refugee status from Albania.)

 

You don't necessarily have to be escaping war to qualify for refugee status, you can also qualify if you're escaping a totalitarian regime and can prove that you belong to an ethnic/religious minority they discriminate against or that you're about to be imprisoned/executed for a non-crime such as exercising free speech. Many people from communist countries received refugee status in Western European countries, myself and my family included.

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Oh, I know  - I'm acquainted with several refugees and people who have Exceptional Leave to Remain (in circs which I would have said justified refugee status, only the Home Office is so reluctant to give it); I just was under the impression that Albania specifically was officially regarded as a safe country and almost all asylum claims from there were rejected; plus Mergim actually said they were fleeing a war.  Unless he meant Kosovo?

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So, getting back to the episode (which I haven't gotten around to watching yet), am I to understand from the use of the word "carnage"  that we actually had a boardroom massacre just a day or so after we actually discussed how one had once happened on the US version?

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I didn't really think it was carnage. Elle was so keen to be fired, I'm surprised she bothered to turn up to the boardroom instead of packing her bags and fleeing in the night. Despire Mergim's total inability to do anything, Lord Siralan seemed to like him and wanted to stay in touch. Even April wasn't that upset at being booted. I would have called it a very bloodless clearing of the deck.

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I just was under the impression that Albania specifically was officially regarded as a safe country and almost all asylum claims from there were rejected; plus Mergim actually said they were fleeing a war.  Unless he meant Kosovo?

 

OK, I just saw the episode, and he did say that. Yes, Kosovo is the only war that makes sense in that context.

 

 

Elle was so keen to be fired, I'm surprised she bothered to turn up to the boardroom instead of packing her bags and fleeing in the night.

 

 

She already resigned herself to being fired while the task was still ongoing - I've never seen anything like it. She was so bad, I wouldn't be surprised if she got fired from her construction day job as well (unless she fabricated it and she has never worked in construction at all).

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Well according to this feature in her local newspaper, she's now planning on becoming a writer for children:

http://www.windsorobserver.co.uk/news/14024891.Windsor_girl_fired_in_dramatic_scenes_on_The_Apprentice/?ref=mr&lp=1

 

One interesting quote:

"If I had to change one thing I think I would try to get up a bit earlier, some of the boys got up at 4am and then they were ready by the time the phone rang.

 

 

She says she doesn't know who wins, but tips

Joseph and Richard.

.

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"If I had to change one thing I think I would try to get up a bit earlier, some of the boys got up at 4am and then they were ready by the time the phone rang."

 

Has she seen the show before she applied for it? The calls ALWAYS come at 5:30am, so it couldn't have been so hard to prepare for that.

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Has she seen the show before she applied for it? The calls ALWAYS come at 5:30am, so it couldn't have been so hard to prepare for that.

 

I always wondered about that.  There's no way they could all possibly shower and dress within 20 minutes of getting that wake-up call.  It makes sense that some of them would be anticipating the call and therefore getting up at least an hour earlier to be ready by the time the call came.

 

I just saw the episode, by the way -- and yes, "massacre" is a little strong for what happened in the Boardroom.  Still, that triple firing was definitely the right move by Lord Sugar, and yes, I think all three candidates saw it coming.

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I always wondered about that.  There's no way they could all possibly shower and dress within 20 minutes of getting that wake-up call.  It makes sense that some of them would be anticipating the call and therefore getting up at least an hour earlier to be ready by the time the call came.

 

I think the 20 minutes is a lie, because when the call comes it's always dark or dawn outside, but when they get into the cars it's broad daylight.

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So, getting back to the episode (which I haven't gotten around to watching yet), am I to understand from the use of the word "carnage"  that we actually had a boardroom massacre just a day or so after we actually discussed how one had once happened on the US version?

Nothing will ever compare to the US Apprentice boardroom massacre.  Say what you will about Trump, the man has a flair for the dramatic.

 

This folks....this is a boardroom massacre.  It makes me miss regular US Apprentice so much -- Lord Sugar is great, but what he did tonight was just three firings

 

 

**ETA: please make sure to watch the clip to the end so you don't miss out on 4 people awkwardly sharing the cab ride of shame!

Edited by RCharter
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I think the 20 minutes is a lie, because when the call comes it's always dark or dawn outside, but when they get into the cars it's broad daylight.

Not to mention, everyone of the girls always has a full face of make-up, and sometimes a hair-do that needs structural support. No way did they all get themselves together in 20 minutes, especially if they're meant to be sharing a bathroom.

 

This folks....this is a boardroom massacre.  It makes me miss regular US Apprentice so much -- Lord Sugar is great, but what he did tonight was just three firings.

I can't decide what's the funniest thing about this clip - 'Life continues', or the four of them squeezed into a cab. I thought the girl was going to have to ride on one of the boys knees.

Edited by HauntedBathroom
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Well, Sam was pretty much useless, and should have gone home the last time he was in the boardroom.

 

I was actually liking Selina more this week, until she didn't stop whinging about being banished to the replenishing job.

 

From the preview, do we think they actually fed nuts to the allergic client, or is that false advertising again like the "paint over the cat" thing?

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From the preview, do we think they actually fed nuts to the allergic client, or is that false advertising again like the "paint over the cat" thing?

 

Is it evil of me to hope that it really happens?

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