S07.E14: Down To the Wire

[DrewPaul2010]

Quote

People aren't inherently anything just by virtue of being either single or married.

Yes they are! Being married or single and that makes a world of difference in anyone's life. There is a huge difference in how I live my life being married than if I were single. Ever notice that married couples soon leave their single friends behind? Its because they're not even in the same stratosphere anymore.

 

Quote

In fact many religious orders all over the world in many religious traditions have encouraged being single as a way to free oneself from home responsibility so as to focus on others.

If in fact that's what they do. Most singles in the USA enjoy the free and single life. There is a great amount of freedom to do as you please when single. However they're are benefits to having a family.

[Stella Rose]

3 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Yes they are! Being married or single and that makes a world of difference in anyone's life. There is a huge difference in how I live my life being married than if I were single. Ever notice that married couples soon leave their single friends behind? Its because they're not even in the same stratosphere anymore.

 

If in fact that's what they do. Most singles in the USA enjoy the free and single life. There is a great amount of freedom to do as you please when single. However they're are benefits to having a family.

I could easily get married and have someone to take care of me, both financially and emotionally.  I do not see how it is selfish or self centered because I have chosen to be an independent woman.   I have seen quite a few people so desperate to get married, then they catch the baby rabies and are miserable.  Them and their kids.  How is that better.  Just look at 2/3 of these goofball couples.    Miserable.  Granted they were matched up by TV 'experts' (cough), but I don't see a lot of people I know doing much better when choosing for themselves.    Amber is ready to get knocked up just because she is ticking...  what will become of that kid?  

I have nothing against marriage or kids.  It's just not something I ever desired for myself.   I also do not see this madcap freedom of which you speak.  I work 10-12 hours a day to afford to keep a modest home and a 15 year old car.  I am not jetting off to Paris every third Tuesday.   I am certainly NOT outgoing, and I see no reason why I have to 'give of my life' to anyone as you said.

[Neurochick]

13 minutes ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Yes they are! Being married or single and that makes a world of difference in anyone's life. There is a huge difference in how I live my life being married than if I were single. Ever notice that married couples soon leave their single friends behind? Its because they're not even in the same stratosphere anymore.

The issue here is that you're talking about yourself, you're also speaking of the ideal.  Some people get married because they want someone to take care of them; that sounds pretty selfish to me.  Same thing as married people leaving their single friends behind.  That happens, but it's a huge generalization.  

[JAndy]

3 hours ago, Yeah No said:

People aren't inherently anything just by virtue of being either single or married.  An other-centered life is certainly possible for a single person.  In fact many religious orders all over the world in many religious traditions have encouraged being single as a way to free oneself from home responsibility so as to focus on others.

That's just like the old assumption that child-free people selfish and immature because they never wanted to have children.  Some are, but then again some people have children for selfish reasons too.

My husband and I never had kids but we have given of ourselves in other ways in our church, to our greater families, friends, pets and each other.

I think people just judge regardless of what you do. Even if you have kids and decide to have “only” one you get judged and called selfish. Regardless of what those reasons are. If you have two children and the *gasp* end up being the same gender, people wonder when you’ll go for the third. 

But I do agree about Amber. I’m wondering if she just wants kids because “that’s what you do”. 

[humbleopinion]

 Dave "wants Amber on a pedestal as his wife and no one can touch her"... guess you haven't lowered your high expectations any...Dave...

[gonecrackers]

21 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

 Dave "wants Amber on a pedestal as his wife and no one can touch her"... guess you haven't lowered your high expectations any...Dave...

Yeah & what pedestal does he think he's on, exactly...

[humbleopinion]

Ever competitive...it has to be a pedestal higher than the one Bobby has had Danielle on for the past 7 weeks....

[LennieBriscoe]

Dave/Amber:

Amber continues to have sex with Dave because,  for those fleeting moments, she feels wanted, which borders on feeling loved.  And as we all know, hope springs eternal. ?

Bobby/Danielle:

Remember when,  back in the day,  Pastor Cal described "being in love" as a cerebral exercise, and we saw Bobby taking that "definition" to heart?  Maybe there's some intangible that Danielle feels is missing between them. ?

Tristan/Mia:

I still maintain my early opinion, to wit: Mia simply does not find Tristan attractive.

Or maybe that's just me. ?

[Jeanne222]

I noticed Dave could not even give Bobby credit for the Jinga game without throwing out how he won the rope pulling game in the park.  Dave you are 7 ft tall for heavens sake.  Both you and Amber are bigger than Bobby and Danielle.

Shut up Dave!

[Jeanne222]

1 hour ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Dave/Amber:

Amber continues to have sex with Dave because,  for those fleeting moments, she feels wanted, which borders on feeling loved.  And as we all know, hope springs eternal. ?

Bobby/Danielle:

Remember when,  back in the day,  Pastor Cal described "being in love" as a cerebral exercise, and we saw Bobby taking that "definition" to heart?  Maybe there's some intangible that Danielle feels is missing between them. ?

Tristan/Mia:

I still maintain my early opinion, to wit: Mia simply does not find Tristan attractive.

Or maybe that's just me. ?

Well I don't find him the least bit attractive but I thought he had money.  Turns out his business is failing and he has no health insurance anymore.  The Tristan ship is sinking.   Jump Mia..jump!

[endure]

Danielle seemed a little smug re her relationship - I believe if she was with any other guy other than Bobby who loves her regardless that she would be having major relationship issues.

[humbleopinion]

Future Episodes:

Next week is the Mini moon drama.

In 2 weeks is Decision Day.

In 3 weeks is the Reunion Show.

They may run the Decision and Reunion Shows one after another on the same day if they need to make room for the new spin offs...so keep checking here for updates....

Edited October 4, 2018 by humbleopinion

[OnTime]

So what is Dave and Amber's "I Love You" status?

Dave lets us know they have sex daily, but no mention that they love each other.

[endure]

I don't understand all this talk about 'decision day' and big commitment etc - wasn't the wedding day the decision and commitment day?

Do Tristan and Mia live in a one room dump, I noticed the bed and sofa are in the same room.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, OnTime said:

So what is Dave and Amber's "I Love You" status?

Dave lets us know they have sex daily, but no mention that they love each other.

Dave has made it clear he doesn't love Amber, and (I think) he'll probably choose "divorce" on Decision Day. (But he's happy to brag about the sex!)

Amber has hinted that she might be in love, or 'falling' in love with Dave --but she's also said she won't tell him that. (She senses that it's not mutual.)

Edited October 4, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[LuvMyShows]

7 hours ago, Yeah No said:

People aren't inherently anything just by virtue of being either single or married.  An other-centered life is certainly possible for a single person.  In fact many religious orders all over the world in many religious traditions have encouraged being single as a way to free oneself from home responsibility so as to focus on others.

5 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Yes they are! Being married or single and that makes a world of difference in anyone's life. There is a huge difference in how I live my life being married than if I were single. Ever notice that married couples soon leave their single friends behind? Its because they're not even in the same stratosphere anymore.

I don't think anyone would disagree that being married or single makes a world of difference in anyone's life.  The issue is that there is no way to generalize about the specific personality effect of being single or married for every single person.  Sure, there are statistics, and averages, but those are all aggregates.  There has never been, and never will be, any way to definitely state that being single or married imbues any particular traits in ALL people.  The human brain, nature/nurture, and free will, have made that impossible.

[princelina]

9 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I think Amber, is into the idea of having a child, not the reality.

I think most of these couples are more into the idea of being married than the reality.

I agree with you - and I think that is why she is worried about Dave being attracted to her, and doesn't seem to worry about how she feels about him.  She wanted "a husband" and now she has "a husband" and she wants her husband to be attracted to her.  End of story.  If she gave birth to a fussy baby she'd be worrying that her baby didn't like her.

[humbleopinion]

Amber: Why is Dave, Jr. crying so much..I fed him his bottle, I changed him, I burped him and I read him a book....

Dave: Well, he's a baby and that is normal.

Amber: I want him to stop.

Dave: That's not how it works.

The baby will stop when he wants to stop.

Amber: Will you ask him to stop?

Dave : I don't see how me asking will get Dave, Jr to stop crying.

Amber: He likes you better than me.

Dave: How can you tell?

Amber: He listens to you. He doesn't listen to me.

Dave: Well, he's a baby and he probably isn't listening to either of us.

Amber: I'm exhausted, having a baby by a surrogate is not as easy as it looks.

Dave: Wine?

Amber: Yes. please.

[love2lovebadtv]

On 10/2/2018 at 10:35 PM, Lacy4u said:

I don't understand why Tristan got so upset with what Dave said Mia told Amber about him. Why bring it up during the mini-moon when they'd already resolved that issue & decided to remain together? And he said from his own mouth that they both had different perceptions of what really happened, so why was he Big Mad then? Plus, this was their first chance to have a problem-free vacay together. But no, Tristan had to eff it up by getting all in his feelings. He's way too emotional for me. I would've left his arse in that hotel in Austin, as well as, asked for a divorce, too. So not here for any male divas like Tristan!

Nothing problem-free with them. 

On 10/2/2018 at 10:25 PM, Straycat80 said:

I’m sure someone from production took Mia somewhere. Probably another hotel. One clue where NOT to look for her is at an airport. 

I was thinking she took an Uber back to her own apartment. There's no one else living there, right? 

23 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

...And when Tristan calls his mom, why does it say "Woman"??

It does? Haven't seen that. This is why I try not to comment on these two. Always weirdness. 

[Ilovepie]

6 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Danielle's telling that she and her mother have been in touch more since the marriage hints to their past rocky relationship.

And yet she had no problem saying “love you” when saying goodbye to her mom. Seems strange since she said her family was not expressive that way....

Also, on an unrelated topic, am I the only one who thinks mini moon sounds stupid? Is that a real thing?!?

[Marsh]

54 minutes ago, Ilovepie said:

Also, on an unrelated topic, am I the only one who thinks mini moon sounds stupid? Is that a real thing?!?

Oh no, we all think that. It's dumb. Did you see the "experts" faces every time they said mini moon?  They had this smug smile with their heads moving a little bit, like they were so clever for inventing these words.

I think Dr. Pepper came up with the term "mini moon" while she was harvesting crops on her farm.  Or wherever the heck she was. Camera was so blurry she might as well been in the bottom of an ocean.

[Yeah No]

7 hours ago, DrewPaul2010 said:

Yes they are! Being married or single and that makes a world of difference in anyone's life. There is a huge difference in how I live my life being married than if I were single. Ever notice that married couples soon leave their single friends behind? Its because they're not even in the same stratosphere anymore.

Sure, being married changes a person, but other relationships can change you in similar ways so as to make you less self centered, which is what I believe the original contention was.

I never left my single friends behind.  My four best, longtime girlfriends are all single.  OK, one is a widow (her husband committed suicide when she was 35), one is a nun (my old college roomie), and another is the one similar to Amber I've spoken about before, who has lived with men but never married.  My "bestest" girlfriend is a victim of child abuse.  She has dedicated herself to a counseling ministry in her church.  I connect with my friends on a deeper level, perhaps.

2 hours ago, LuvMyShows said:

I don't think anyone would disagree that being married or single makes a world of difference in anyone's life.  The issue is that there is no way to generalize about the specific personality effect of being single or married for every single person.  Sure, there are statistics, and averages, but those are all aggregates.  There has never been, and never will be, any way to definitely state that being single or married imbues any particular traits in ALL people.  The human brain, nature/nurture, and free will, have made that impossible.

YES!!!

[Kareem]

If I had a dollar for every time anyone said "we've had our ups and downs",  I could pay off my house. Thank you, Bobby and Danielle, for not having ups and downs.  

I thought the two of them tried hard to be gracious when asked how things were going by those who are circling the drain.  

Thinking back to the beginning, Bobby has really surprised me. I expected a hokie John Boy Walton and instead watched a young guy who's been into it and into her from the jump.  WTG

[qtpye]

14 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

 Dave "wants Amber on a pedestal as his wife and no one can touch her"... guess you haven't lowered your high expectations any...Dave...

 

14 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Yeah & what pedestal does he think he's on, exactly...

 

14 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Ever competitive...it has to be a pedestal higher than the one Bobby has had Danielle on for the past 7 weeks....

 

13 hours ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Dave/Amber:

Amber continues to have sex with Dave because,  for those fleeting moments, she feels wanted, which borders on feeling loved.  And as we all know, hope springs eternal. ?

Bobby/Danielle:

Remember when,  back in the day,  Pastor Cal described "being in love" as a cerebral exercise, and we saw Bobby taking that "definition" to heart?  Maybe there's some intangible that Danielle feels is missing between them. ?

Tristan/Mia:

I still maintain my early opinion, to wit: Mia simply does not find Tristan attractive.

Or maybe that's just me. ?

 

13 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I noticed Dave could not even give Bobby credit for the Jinga game without throwing out how he won the rope pulling game in the park.  Dave you are 7 ft tall for heavens sake.  Both you and Amber are bigger than Bobby and Danielle.

Shut up Dave!

Yes, Dave, you are bigger and stronger than Spongebob Lobster pants...get over it, no one is impressed.

10 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Dave has made it clear he doesn't love Amber, and (I think) he'll probably choose "divorce" on Decision Day. (But he's happy to brag about the sex!)

Amber has hinted that she might be in love, or 'falling' in love with Dave --but she's also said she won't tell him that. (She senses that it's not mutual.)

There is a competition that develops among shallow people. I remember last season when Jon was so happy that he got paired with "the prettiest wife of the bunch" until it dawned on him that his pretty wife would not touch him with a ten-foot pole. Amber is so worried about Dave loving her that she does not notice that SHE really does not like him all that much. She is feeling like Dave is her last chance to have a baby and that is making her desperate. Amber feels like she has to prove that she's "worthy" of him just because in our ageist society a tall conventionally good looking and relatively financially secure man like him just had more options than she does. I would love it on decision day if Dave want to continue being married and Amber said no, but I do not think that is what is going to happen.

[Jax7917]

It really is annoying even to me that everyone including the experts keep trying to get out of Bobby and Danielle that there has to be problems in their relationship. Shouldn't the experts be happy for them that they are communicating well with each other and truly care about each other? I get that it doesn't make good tv.. but with every other seasons train wreck of couples, you'd think they would take pride in a couple actually liking each other. Of course they'll have disagreements down the road, but they've only been together less than 2 months. It's not weird that they haven't been in a fight yet. 

Also, the lack of I love yous coming from Danielle doesn't seem real. It seems like production just wants the viewers to have an "omg maybe they won't make it" moment so they are making her hold off until decision day where of course she'll say it.

13 hours ago, endure said:

Danielle seemed a little smug re her relationship - I believe if she was with any other guy other than Bobby who loves her regardless that she would be having major relationship issues.

This I agree with. She lucked out with Bobby big time and she knows it.. but she has the personality type where if she was matched with another guy, she would be similar to how Ashley was. She's perfectly fine but she comes off pretty cold.

[Gem 10]

You can tell this season has had it.  They keep on showing flashbacks.

[Neurochick]

The problem with these folks is, they don't really know why they want to get married.  I know what they say, but do they really know?

Not so long ago, people seriously HAD to get married.  If you were a woman, you needed a man to be financially secure.  There was a time when apartments wouldn't give leases to single women, single women had hard time getting credit cards in their name, etc.  Watch the movie "The House of Mirth" see what happened to Gillian Anderson's character at the end when she was unable to "land a suitable husband." 

Men used to marry for regular sex, home cooked meals, clean homes.  Men also felt the need to marry, less their friends think them, "peculiar" which was another word for "homosexual."  (I remember hearing people use that word a lot when I was a kid).  When I was a child, there was a show on NBC called "Occasional Wife" where a man had to pretend to be married in order to get a promotion at his job.  Today, that would be a cause for a lawsuit, but in the 1960's it was normal.  My point is that people married for reasons other than wanting a partner, love or wanting to spend life with someone.  

So when people call others selfish for staying single, I don't get it.  There is an ideal of marriage, an ideal of having a family, then there is the reality.  

[gonecrackers]

Reg. Dave & his passive aggressiveness toward Bobby - it's been beaten to death how insecure Amber is but IMO this hints toward Dave's own insecurities.

After watching him dismiss his friend Adrian's valid points, I'm sure they'll be divorced & he will always maintain it was ALL Amber's fault.

Honestly, I would expect more out of both Amber & Dave at this stage of their lives, but it's glaringly obvious why both aren't married & very possibly not suited for marriage - which they may need to come to terms with to just enjoy their lives, single.  

[SnarkEnthusiast]

On 10/2/2018 at 9:49 PM, love2lovebadtv said:

Why does her phone say grandma bally? I thought she was talking to her mom. 

Why was Tristan's mom in his phone as "Woman"?

[OnTime]

14 hours ago, endure said:

I don't understand all this talk about 'decision day' and big commitment etc - wasn't the wedding day the decision and commitment day?

 From the show's point, they matched these people and now it is each person's own decision if they want to stay married.

And of course, the show has to have something to keep all of us watching!!

[Neurochick]

45 minutes ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

Why was Tristan's mom in his phone as "Woman"?

Maybe it's because they don't want to show their names/phone numbers on TV?

[humbleopinion]

What bugs Dave the most is that Bobby doesn't envy Dave...not one whit.

Dave earns more than Bobby...Bobby figures Dave has been working for 10 years more than he has in a higher paying field so that makes sense...

Dave is taller, stronger...can't change genetics...Bobby is probably a buck and 2 quarters in weight.

Dave likes to brag he and Amber do the hokey pokey every night (haven't missed one night yet!) and morning...Bobby is not commenting publicly about his sex life.

Dave in one of the first Unfiltereds told Bobby that he was jealous that Bobby was head over heels in love from the get go....Dave can barely stand to listen to Amber anymore...

 Dave crossed the line on the Man date with Bobby is pushing back hard to Dave's assertion that Bobby and Danielle CAN'T have a perfect relationship with no issues, no annoyances, no fights and are sweeping their problems under the rug.

Don't make Bobby fight you, Dave....

Bobby will come after you with a shotgun if you besmirch his marriage and call him a liar...

Edited October 4, 2018 by humbleopinion

[SnarkEnthusiast]

21 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

Maybe it's because they don't want to show their names/phone numbers on TV?

Fair, but why not just "Mom/Mama/etc."? Why something so odd? lol

[Jax7917]

This isn't the type of show for Amber and Dave. Amber would be insecure no matter what because regardless of who she married at first sight, she would have complained that the guy didn't choose her since they didn't know what she was going to look like. They just chose to marry anyone (even though she did the same thing.)... and Dave just seems like a very critical person who did have a type in mind before he got married . For a successful marriage to happen on this show, the person has to be laid back and open to various traits (physical and personality.) I look at some of these people and I'm thinking, Why would they sign up for this show? Examples that stand out to me are Ashley, Heather and Jamie O . If you are so worried you won't be attracted to the one they set you up with, why do this experiment? They made up their minds from the get go that they weren't going to give the marriage a chance. ( I know Jamie and Doug are still together, but still the way she acted during the experiment was ridiculous).

[ezzy4]

15 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Amber: Why is Dave, Jr. crying so much..I fed him his bottle, I changed him, I burped him and I read him a book....

Dave: Well, he's a baby and that is normal.

Amber: I want him to stop.

Dave: That's not how it works.

The baby will stop when he wants to stop.

Amber: Will you ask him to stop?

Dave : I don't see how me asking will get Dave, Jr to stop crying.

Amber: He likes you better than me.

Dave: How can you tell?

Amber: He listens to you. He doesn't listen to me.

Dave: Well, he's a baby and he probably isn't listening to either of us.

Amber: I'm exhausted, having a baby by a surrogate is not as easy as it looks.

Dave: Wine?

Amber: Yes. please.

Hahaha!! SPOT ON!!  

[Ilovepie]

6 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Examples that stand out to me are Ashley, Heather and Jamie O .

You can add Vaughn, Davina (although she got stuck with a real asshole) and Molly to that list as well.....I agree that uptight, tightly wound people do not do well on this show - you'd think the "experts" would realize that by now! I also think they should really explore and evaluate if people will not do well with the cameras because I do think that is a factor for some people too.....

I really think the problem with Dave and Amber is that neither is awful, they just got matched with the wrong person. I think if Dave had been matched with a strong, confident woman he would have been much happier; I also think if Amber had been matched with someone more nurturing she would not have been so neurotic. The experts focused on the absolute wrong things - they matched them because they are older and want to start a family, but it's like they didn't even consider basic things like personality!

[humbleopinion]

The whole process of applying, interviewing, vetting, and eventually getting chosen to be a bride or a groom appealed to Amber's, Dave's, Bobby's, and Tristan's competitive spirit...they like being on the top of the heap...to come out victorious...

Unfortunately, in Amber's and Dave's and Tristan's cases...be careful for what you wish for....you got paired up with someone who brings out the WORST in you...

Mia and Danielle did it to show past bfs that they are desirous and show those men that they made a big mistake to let them slip out of their fingers...

Danielle, I think was caught off guard with Bobby.

She didn't expect or anticipate to be matched up someone she COULD have a future with....

Bobby, Anthony, Shawniece came into the experiment with the right amount of skepticism but quickly bought in that they did get matched with someone they could have a future.

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, SnarkEnthusiast said:

Why was Tristan's mom in his phone as "Woman"?

Why did those experts even pick them?  They are supposed to be so smart.  These two slipped right through the experts fingers.  Shame on them.

[LilaFowler]

The thing that I don't understand is, on this episode, Dave and Amber talked a couple of times about how difficult the last two weeks had been. That must have been off-camera stuff because I'm trying to remember what transpired over the previous two episodes that was straining. They had the ropes course. They had Dave's pathetic little garden. They had Field Day which they won and seemed to enjoy.

I've changed my mind about whether or not Dave and Amber stay together on Decision Day. I think they're going to. Not because they're in love or because there's potential, but because they are that competitive with Bobby and Danielle and they want to be seen as a success story, too.

[SnarkEnthusiast]

In Amber's defense, I don't think I could have sex with someone 50 nights in a row and not have feelings. She's using sex to compensate for emotional intimacy. Yeah, her anxiety and insecurities are grating as hell, but it does seem like all Dave does is pick apart her flaws or why they're incompatible until the next time he wants to get laid.

[ezzy4]

Gwad, Dave and Amber are B-O-R-I-N-G.  

They are the couple who spends weeks deciding which shade of beige to paint their accent wall in the kitchen.  Then once they hire a contractor to paint the wall, they go to Abblebees and complain how stressful it is having your home renovated.

And, yet they don't like each other. 

Zzzzzzzzzzzz

[humbleopinion]

Dave and Amber will stay together on Decision Day.

Heck, even Tristan and Mia can stay together on Decision Day.

The Reunion show is filmed just 7 days later so they can just coast and finish filming with Amber and Mia both back in their Home Sweet Homes.

Tristan will be filling a U Haul trailer and moving to Houston.

Dave will be getting his carpets shampooed to get rid of all aspects of Amber and Paisley....

Edited October 4, 2018 by humbleopinion

[scruffy73]

3 minutes ago, humbleopinion said:

Dave and Amber will stay together on Decision Day.

Heck, even Tristan and Mia can stay together on Decision Day.

The Reunion show is filmed just 7 days later so they can just coast and finish filming with Amber and Mia both back in their Home Sweet Homes.

Tristan will be filling a U Haul trailer and moving to Houston.

Dave will be getting his carpets shampooed to get ride of all aspects of Amber and Paisley....

Tristan can’t afford a Uhaul. He has his friends with trucks driving his stuff down there. And he is crying about how Mia left him. 

Can I be shallow for a minute? (Thanks! I knew you would approve.) For all of Tristan’s appearance requirements he is not cute. At. All. And his hair bugs me. He looks like he puts some kind of product in his hair to show off his “curl pattern” but he really just needs a haircut. Ain’t nobody confused that he has soft curly hair and he is clearly not growing it out for dreads. He needs to quit and get a damn fade like the rest of the brothers. (I know I stereotype but I’m just telling on myself. I love a dude with a fresh fade with a tight line-up. *fans self* I know he won’t be Ronnie’s DeVoe or anything but he can upgrade himself a lot in my eyes.)

[ezzy4]

Mia is an emotional abuser.  Perhaps she doesn't mean to be, but she shows all the signs.

1) She disregards personal boundaries (stalking charges)

2) she outright lies about her behaviors to protect herself and confuse others

3) she minimizes her behaviors (seems actually suprised Tristan is still confused/upset about her arrest)

4) she's a perpetual victim who has no responsibility in shared conflicts

5) she minimizes Tristan's concerns and feelings (during the car ride when Tristan was speaking emotionally, she was completely disconnected from emotion and unwilling to acknowledge his concerns/ insights.  Acknowledge doesn't equal agree. Shutting down another person's emotional concerns is a power play meant to demean.)

6) she engages in important emotional business when Tristan was unable to defend himself. (Asking for a divorce in the middle of the night by waking someone up is a calculated power move; as is leaving without explanation and turning off your phone).

She is playing dangerous emotional games.

She's the WORST!

[Waterlilly]

Dave is a player of mind games and with the right person he can be successful.  But, with Bobby and Dave's friend you can see that his bluff can be called and then he back peddles.  Amber is at a vulnerable place right now (not sure why), changing her hair, the facial routine, the hurt feelings, insecurities.  She is a great mark for Dave.  I bet she is great at her job, a great friend, sister, daughter but something happened before applying for this "experiment" that threw her off balance.  She'll get her groove back after this show is over and she loses 200 lbs of dead weight:)  I know from experience that she will come out the other side better, I'm cheering for her.  I hate when people try to make you look dumb or less than.  Dave needs a come uptance.

[Ilovepie]

36 minutes ago, ezzy4 said:

she minimizes her behaviors (seems actually suprised Tristan is still confused/upset about her arrest)

This! She actually used the phrase "after all I've sacrificed" during one of the TH's. I could not believe she had the gall to utter those words!

[gonecrackers]

8 hours ago, ezzy4 said:

Mia is an emotional abuser.  Perhaps she doesn't mean to be, but she shows all the signs.

1) She disregards personal boundaries (stalking charges)

2) she outright lies about her behaviors to protect herself and confuse others

3) she minimizes her behaviors (seems actually suprised Tristan is still confused/upset about her arrest)

4) she's a perpetual victim who has no responsibility in shared conflicts

5) she minimizes Tristan's concerns and feelings (during the car ride when Tristan was speaking emotionally, she was completely disconnected from emotion and unwilling to acknowledge his concerns/ insights.  Acknowledge doesn't equal agree. Shutting down another person's emotional concerns is a power play meant to demean.)

6) she engages in important emotional business when Tristan was unable to defend himself. (Asking for a divorce in the middle of the night by waking someone up is a calculated power move; as is leaving without explanation and turning off your phone).

She is playing dangerous emotional games.

She's the WORST!

Absolutely. I see more protective orders & possible arrests in her future. She's the type of person who will destroy anyone who gets involved with her.

Amazing how all the 'experts' who apparently interview these people couldn't pick up on psychosis. I want to know what they asked her about her previous relationships & how she answered, because they say they do ask many questions. She couldn't possibly have told the whole truth but spun it her way to get matched with her next victim, so she's always been a damn liar & I don't believe anything she says about what's going on now either. Also, given she most likely did lie to get chosen, the 'experts' had to have known she lied after the arrest, yet, they supported her completely & encouraged Tristan to "forgive", as well as keep encouraging Mia in playing the victim at every turn.

Then Pepper says it's their "best season ever" with an excited smile!  I wonder if they paid her bail too. Doesn't matter what she's done - gotta keep this show a rolling!

What the everloving crazy ass fuck am I watching....

Edited October 5, 2018 by gonecrackers

[AnnMarie17]

On 10/2/2018 at 11:34 PM, ChristmasJones said:

I think Amber should have waited to have sex until she felt more emotionally secure in the relationship. I personally would feel very insecure if I was having sex every single night with a guy and yet I wasn't sure if he was completely mesmerized by and attracted to me. 

 

I think your point is very important.  For a lot of people, adding sex into a relationship in which you don't feel secure just multiplies that insecurity.  I think the fact that they are having sex every day (or twice a day...or what the fuck ever) just confirms Amber's insecurity...she's trying to fend off her insecurity through sex and, friend, that is a non-starter.  I don't know how many relationships she's had in her past, but I'm surprised she doesn't already know that the road to a secure relationship does not pass through sex-ville.  Sex is fabulous way to enjoy a healthy, loving relationship...but you gotta have that healthy, loving part down first or the vulnerability of sexy time just amplifies your insecurity, IMO. 

Edited October 4, 2018 by AnnMarie17

[humbleopinion]

Bobby's and Danielle's WEDDING PICTURES!

https://www.natchittamai.com/blog/danielleandbobby

Edited October 4, 2018 by humbleopinion

[JapMo]

9 hours ago, Neurochick said:

When I was a child, there was a show on NBC called "Occasional Wife" where a man had to pretend to be married in order to get a promotion at his job.  Today, that would be a cause for a lawsuit, but in the 1960's it was normal. 

I loved that show.  The actors who played the fake couple got married in real life, but got divorced after a few years.  It was lame but it was cute.