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S02.E09: The Things We Do For Love

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2 hours ago, Raja said:

That is like saying that you would never confuse an American with a South African. The Chinese of the Philippines, the Tisnoy, are a minority ethnic group, but they are there to confuse you just like those with some African in them that are a minority in America but can confuse you when you learn they are American and not say Nigerian.

Okay most of the time, not never.  There are some that are pure Asian so sure you would say they look Asian,  but they are a small minority like you said.  If I saw Hazel on the street and never met her before I would say she looks Filipino.

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There was something about Ximena's demeanor that didn't add up.  Her smiles and her camera-ready posture....all very Telenovela actress wannabe.   She's a plant by the production team when the other person fell through.

For those who don't know, Venezuela, Colombia and Mexico have a huge Telenovela subculture and it impacts employment and education plans for young people (guys and gals).  In other words, it is very common for young people to say when I grow up I'm going to have my own Telenovela...or I'm going to play the rich woman on a Telenovela.

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Michelle also mentioned that tiny Stacey made her feel huge during her interview with Ricky’s cousin Jabba the Hutt.

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2 hours ago, AmyBre said:

There was something about Ximena's demeanor that didn't add up.  Her smiles and her camera-ready posture....all very Telenovela actress wannabe.   She's a plant by the production team when the other person fell through.

For those who don't know, Venezuela, Colombia and Mexico have a huge Telenovela subculture and it impacts employment and education plans for young people (guys and gals).  In other words, it is very common for young people to say when I grow up I'm going to have my own Telenovela...or I'm going to play the rich woman on a Telenovela.

She is very charismatic and polished! But I can't help but wonder why, if she's interested in that line of work, she's 27 and still living at home w/ mom in a small, do-nothing town. She's been waiting on Ricky to show up for the past 10 years? lol

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I can totally see dicky Ricky financing ximenas telenovella cuh reeer just like Russ did with Pao. Just a matter of time till both those dim wits get dumped

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7 hours ago, AmyBre said:

There was something about Ximena's demeanor that didn't add up.  Her smiles and her camera-ready posture....all very Telenovela actress wannabe.   She's a plant by the production team when the other person fell through.

She reminds me of Selena the singer that got murdered, the energy or something.  The one they made Movie about and Jennifer Lopez plays her role 

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Most Latin American cultures, it is customary to "live at home" until you get married. 

In my limited experience and exposure to other cultures, I have found that the USA is one of the few countries/cultures where children are pushed out after college.   I'd argue that an adult is not yet fully formed or mature to live on his own when he comes back from college at 21 years of age.    I'm all for supporting my children and keeping them close until they are independent or until they want to leave by themselves (whichever comes first) as long as they are not sitting on their butts and looking for work/being productive.

Ximena's aspiration of being a soap opera actress do not necessarily collide with her living at home with her family.   Irrespective of her desire to be an actress, she has that gold digger opportunist demeanor, which allowed her to easily be intimate -- trade bodily fluids -- with Ricky and forget she's just playing a part on a show.   Ricky might be smarter than we think and may be using TLC to fund his sex tourism vacation.    In the end, Ricky gets what he wants, Ximena gets some money and some TV face time, TLC gets material for a storyline and we get......

1 minute ago, Mainer said:

She reminds me of Selena the singer that got murdered, the energy or something.  The one they made Movie about and Jennifer Lopez plays her role 

That's like comparing Barbra Streisand or Celine Dion to Snooky from the Jersey Shore.

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@millennium you are a deep thinker and I really enjoy your posts.  I turn off my brain when I watch this pap and I probably should work on that.  But I usually enjoy this show.  However, recently, nothing seems to happen.  The previews seem to suggest something exciting is coming up, then a letdown.  There are some moments that make it worth it.  They have taken the low road lately.  But I don't want to see ordinary couples without conflict.  That would bore me.  

I have noticed that Sweet Baby Lucy is fretting more because she is picking up on the conflict between her mom and bearded guy.  I don't like to see that and wonder what would happen if they get married and lived together.  Who knows how and when that would ever happen.

I thought Pole works for his dad's company as the IT professional.  That could explain why he is able to get so much time off.  I thought I read that here in the forum a while back.

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@millennium, the show used to be more fun.  I wouldn’t watch at all if I didn’t have you guys.  Somewhere around Dani-Mo, it tipped into being all about the snark.  I had Dani as my screen saver for a long time.     Dani and her perpetually tilted glasses so that the frames were always square across her pupils.  (Why did no producer in the history of EVER fix that eyeglasses thing??).

@Kareem:  the big lady in the little chair...HAAAAAHAHAHA!!!

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Just rewatching the extended version and loved when Jon sarcastically said "oh so you only happened to be on my social media during a conversation with my ex?" I don't buy Rachel's version of events, she is so insecure and absolutely stalks his social media accounts.

i also laughed when Tarik started his rap tape and Hazel said "what is that?" With the most animated look that we have ever seen. Then she had to pretend to be into it.

Edited by sainte-chapelle
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This may have already been brought up, when Paul, Karine and her Mother arrived at the hospital Paul says she had an ultrasound the day before but then during the ultrasound exam that day they mentioned the fetus had been dead for a week.  It was probably just a sloppy editing error as there are many of those on this show.

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17 hours ago, endure said:

This may have already been brought up, when Paul, Karine and her Mother arrived at the hospital Paul says she had an ultrasound the day before but then during the ultrasound exam that day they mentioned the fetus had been dead for a week.  It was probably just a sloppy editing error as there are many of those on this show.

The first ultra sound may have been just the external one and it wasn’t picking up a heartbeat so they called her in for the internal ultrasound to confirm.

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On 10/4/2018 at 9:18 PM, Mainer said:

It’s not Texas Roadhouse by any means that’s all

Comparing a "waffle house" to a "steak house" isn't exactly fair.   

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On 10/2/2018 at 3:18 PM, Eric said:

So what if some men have decided to go abroad to pick a young, pretty, child-free, nice woman with good manners and great values? Something that a 40-50 years old man cannot find anymore in America if he is not rich or famous.

Most likely it seems they are probably looking for the same type as well and they want someone young, handsome and unencumbered, too.

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On 10/2/2018 at 6:41 PM, spankydoll said:

You don't live in Darcyville though. I am sure that part of her brain was expecting some dramatic make up scene with a string quartet playing in the park and Jesse riding up on a white horse. 

Jesse knows Darcey well enough to know she doesn't do casual except at home. He knew she'd be showing up in full regalia no matter where. She also said he kept his plans from her and she didn't know what to expect - probably was hoping he'd take her to dinner. Just more humiliation added to the drama thanks to Herr Perfekt.

Edited by renatae
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On 10/2/2018 at 6:42 PM, JenE4 said:
  On 10/2/2018 at 1:22 PM, ava111 said:

I think we should play Marry, Shag or Kill with Paul, Tarik and Ricky. Michael seems too normal to be included...

It's a Trifecta! Marry - um, no one. Shag - definitely no one. Kill? Not any of them. Now, Jesse ---

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1 hour ago, renatae said:

Most likely it seems they are probably looking for the same type as well and they want someone young, handsome and unencumbered, too.

THIS!  When I was young and pretty I sure as heck didn’t want an “old” man who 40 or 50 years old!!  Men like that are set in their ways and have a ton of baggage ( and, no, I am not saying that women of the same age don’t have the same issues). I wanted someone who had the same interests, listened to the same bands, had fun hobbies, was at a similar stage in his career to mine, etc. 

ETA:  I want to explain one more thing that makes a lot of young women reject some older men: I always assumed there must be something wrong with them if women their own age rejected them.  Why weren’t they dating women in their own age with similar interests and life experiences?  Those women knew better. 

Edited by PityFree
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11 minutes ago, PityFree said:

THIS!  When I was young and pretty I sure as heck didn’t want an “old” man who 40 or 50 years old!!  Men like that are set in their ways and have a ton of baggage ( and, no, I am not saying that women of the same age don’t have the same issues). I wanted someone who had the same interests, listened to the same bands, had fun hobbies, was at a similar stage in his career to mine, etc. 

ETA:  I want to explain one more thing that makes a lot of young women reject some older men: I always assumed there must be something wrong with them if women their own age rejected them.  Why weren’t they dating women in their own age with similar interests and life experiences?  Those women knew better. 

Ding ding ding. Also a lot of the older guys going after younger women don’t just want a partner or companionship, they want another “bite at the Apple” i.e. to feel young, have a second set of kids etc etc. There’s a very different demeanor to a man/woman who was happy with their youthful experiences, maybe they are divorced/widowed and looking to have love and companionship compared to someone who wants to relive their youth with a much younger partner.

If Darcey was just looking for a companion; she’d have no problem meeting a divorced or single guy her own age. She’s pretty and her kids are old enough where she can have an active social life (they also live with their Dad most of the week), but Darcey’s of the world don’t want their social PEER they want to move up.

 

Of course there are exceptions to everything and these are just social trends. 

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I *am* judging people who won't date within their pay grade, to use a crass cliche.  If a 40 or 50 something man is specifically looking for a young woman, or a childless woman, for any reason (attracted to youth, wants someone submissive, wants someone who "owes" him, demands purity, wants his friends jealous...), I find that to be a character flaw, a huge one.    

Of course, occasionally significant age differences happen (I was 8 years younger than my late husband and I'm 11 years younger than my current beau), but when someone limits himself (or herself) to only  much younger (or much more attractive, or wealthy or...) people, it says all I need to know about him/her, ethically speaking.  

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33 minutes ago, PityFree said:

Why weren’t they dating women in their own age with similar interests and life experiences?  

Aliya jr is 41. He was married briefly to someone I'd like to kill on sight. A terrible person with issues that she hid while dating (tho her parents knew she had issues and didn't tell my son, hoping marriage would 'help' her with them).  He is now dating a young woman who is 10+ years younger because he wants children. He tried dating women closer to his age, but while he actually comes with very little baggage (own home, advanced degree, good job, no kids), the women either had never been married and had been in so many bad relationships that they were train wrecks, or they had children who were practically grown.  Some of the women with kids were nice enough, but weren't willing to try and have a baby when their youngest kid was 17 or they were in the prime of their career.

Normally, when I look at these guys on TV, you can see where the problem is. I'm thinking of the guy with the cats and living at home with mom. But there are other issues that can make someone want a younger spouse. If you look couples in Victorian and Edwardian times, it wasn't unusual for an older man to marry a much younger woman. Actually, that was probably true through much of history. They seemed to deal with it without assuming the man had some kind of mental problem.

That said, as a mom, I'm not sure that there isn't too much age between them, but, we thought the first one was a great match and that turned out horribly, so I'm gonna shut my mouth and see what happens.

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7 minutes ago, aliya said:

Aliya jr is 41. He was married briefly to someone I'd like to kill on sight. A terrible person with issues that she hid while dating (tho her parents knew she had issues and didn't tell my son, hoping marriage would 'help' her with them).  He is now dating a young woman who is 10+ years younger because he wants children. He tried dating women closer to his age, but while he actually comes with very little baggage (own home, advanced degree, good job, no kids), the women either had never been married and had been in so many bad relationships that they were train wrecks, or they had children who were practically grown.  Some of the women with kids were nice enough, but weren't willing to try and have a baby when their youngest kid was 17 or they were in the prime of their career.

Normally, when I look at these guys on TV, you can see where the problem is. I'm thinking of the guy with the cats and living at home with mom. But there are other issues that can make someone want a younger spouse. If you look couples in Victorian and Edwardian times, it wasn't unusual for an older man to marry a much younger woman. Actually, that was probably true through much of history. They seemed to deal with it without assuming the man had some kind of mental problem.

That said, as a mom, I'm not sure that there isn't too much age between them, but, we thought the first one was a great match and that turned out horribly, so I'm gonna shut my mouth and see what happens.

He was holding never being married against them?  Not being divorced or widowed was a dealbreaker? 

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Jesse picked an older woman. Put the other way,  Darcy chose a younger man. 

Mahkul picked an older woman. Or: Angela chose a younger man. 

Tarik picked a younger woman with a child. 

Pole had a pregnant bride. 

And then there's Baby Lucy and two 30-something adults. 

Not sure where the 40-50-year-old American men looking for the younger,  foreign, child-free women are here. 

Not that they don't exist.  I think we've already established that jerks abound. 

Edited by LennieBriscoe

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@aliya your son’s situation makes sense. He was partnered, it didn’t work out, and he still wants biological children (nothing wrong with that). Given where he is in his life women without children are likely be childfree(not having any because they didn’t want them), have small kids (which yes does hinder dating in the best of circumstances espcecially for women) or have teenage/grown children because they had them in their early 20s. This is normal. 

As far as Victorian times- that was because people were marrying for children, property and economic stability (for women), in the 21st century USA those are factors for marriage (duh) but we place a lot of value on personal intimacy, sexual compatitblity and recreational companionship. I think if the Tariqs and Rickys of the series were up front “I want biological children, domestic support, and partnered sex, in exchange I will provide the woman with economic stability” people might call them “cold” but they wouldn’t seem creepy. Waking poetic about romantic love when we all can see that’s not what this is about makes them seem sleezy.

3 minutes ago, PityFree said:

He was holding never being married against them?  Not being divorced or widowed was a dealbreaker? 

I don’t know @aliya ‘s son (duh) but I think what she was getting at is if someone is 40+ and never been married they likely aren’t LOOKING to marry or partner in a permanent/co-habitating type relationship (which tends to be true for both men and women). Men in their 40s who’ve never been married are judged SO harshly, as either 1. Immature, 2. Defective emotionally. Supposedly it’s better to be divorced than single after 40. 

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5 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

 

I don’t know @aliya ‘s son (duh) but I think what she was getting at is if someone is 40+ and never been married they likely aren’t LOOKING to marry or partner in a permanent/co-habitating type relationship (which tends to be true for both men and women). Men in their 40s who’ve never been married are judged SO harshly, as either 1. Immature, 2. Defective emotionally. Supposedly it’s better to be divorced than single after 40. 

Wow. That’s pretty crappy and shortsighted. 

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26 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Jesse picked an older woman. Put the other way,  Darcy chose a younger man. 

Mahkul picked an older woman. Or: Angela chose a younger man. 

Tarik picked a younger woman with a child. 

Pole had a pregnant bride. 

And then there's Baby Lucy and two 30-something adults. 

Not sure where the 40-50-year-old American men looking for the younger,  foreign, child-free women are here. 

Not that they don't exist.  I think we've already established that jerks abound. 

 

Personally, I was talking about all people dating above their pay grade.  Tarik is significantly older than Hazel, Angela than Michael, the disparity in looks between Ricky and, well, everyone....

I used an older man as the specific example, as the topic of 40-50 year old men came up in this post, which prompted several replies:

On 10/2/2018 at 4:18 PM, Eric said:

So what if some men have decided to go abroad to pick a young, pretty, child-free, nice woman with good manners and great values? Something that a 40-50 years old man cannot find anymore in America if he is not rich or famous. Why limiting the pool of women by only dating U.S women? Dating or marrying someone from different a culture can be very positive and interesting for some people. For you to call them losers, that tells me that you are bitter person.  You are judging them and ,at the same time, you are glued to your TV watching these people live their lives. (laugh)

Edited by CousinOliver

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7 minutes ago, LennieBriscoe said:

Jesse picked an older woman. Put the other way,  Darcy chose a younger man. 

Mahkul picked an older woman. Or: Angela chose a younger man. 

Tarik picked a younger woman with a child. 

Pole had a pregnant bride. 

And then there's Baby Lucy and two 30-something adults. 

Not sure where the 40-50-year-old American men looking for the younger,  foreign, child-free women are here. 

Not that they don't exist.  I think we've already established that jerks abound. 

They aren’t on 90 day fiancé.

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Quote

I don’t know @ALIYA ‘s son (duh) but I think what she was getting at is if someone is 40+ and never been married they likely aren’t LOOKING to marry or partner in a permanent/co-habitating type relationship (which tends to be true for both men and women). Men in their 40s who’ve never been married are judged SO harshly, as either 1. Immature, 2. Defective emotionally. Supposedly it’s better to be divorced than single after 40. 

My late husband and I got married when he was 44 and I was almost 36.  I'm a professor, he was an engineer.  Neither of us had been married or had children.  If I expressed how happy we were, I'd likely be accused of delusions.  

I'm glad neither of us were short sighted enough to dismiss someone for being unmarried past a certain age.  

His only defect was the heart defect that unexpectedly took him.  

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5 minutes ago, CousinOliver said:

My late husband and I got married when he was 44 and I was almost 36.  I'm a professor, he was an engineer.  Neither of us had been married or had children.  If I expressed how happy we were, I'd likely be accused of delusions.  

I'm glad neither of us were short sighted enough to dismiss someone for being unmarried past a certain age.  

His only defect was the heart defect that unexpectedly took him.  

I absolutely believe you were happy. Above I was attempting to describe a social preception, not that I personally thought once someone is 40 chances of finding marriage are “bye bye” (far from it). 

I am sorry you lost your husband too soon. 

Edited by Scarlett45
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35 minutes ago, PityFree said:

He was holding never being married against them?  Not being divorced or widowed was a dealbreaker? 

No. He wasn't holding it against them, it's just that they seemed to bring a lot of issues by time they get to their late 30's and early 40's. He dated divorcees and as a person who lost his father at 14, if someone was a widow, that was OK.  He understood that. It's just a lot of them had kids and didn't want a baby at that stage of life.

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28 minutes ago, aliya said:

No. He wasn't holding it against them, it's just that they seemed to bring a lot of issues by time they get to their late 30's and early 40's. He dated divorcees and as a person who lost his father at 14, if someone was a widow, that was OK.  He understood that. It's just a lot of them had kids and didn't want a baby at that stage of life.

Ah thanks for following up. 

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Angela looked great in her matching African dress, maybe Michael can be a fashion consultant when he gets to the states.

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3 hours ago, endure said:

Angela looked great in her matching African dress, maybe Michael can be a fashion consultant when he gets to the states.

“Great” might be a bit of a stretch - but compared to how she dressed most of the time, I see your perspective.  And she most certainly did look fine.  I’m not sure why she fought that so hard, honestly!

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On 10/2/2018 at 8:32 AM, Lemur said:

1.  You and I and the board in general aren't privy to their custody arrangement and don't know what they may or may not agree to in the future.

2.  You and I and the rest of the board do not know what sort of travel arrangements the father may or may not agree to in the future, if any.

3.  The UK, like most civilized countries, is part of several UN-backed pacts regarding non-custodial abduction and is actually quite helpful when it comes to returning a child to the custodial parent.  It's not like trying to get a child back from Iran.  

She said they share joint custody so I will assume that is the case. 

I practice law. I would ALWAYS advise a client to never allow a child of divorce to travel abroad with one parent. 

 

It’s all well and good to say the UK is a signatory to agreements, but it costs a significant amount of money to enforce those agreements. 

 

I didn’t say that was THE reason, just that it’s a possibility. 

Edited by Real Eyes

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18 hours ago, Real Eyes said:

She said they share joint custody so I will assume that is the case. 

I practice law. I would ALWAYS advise a client to never allow a child of divorce to travel abroad with one parent. 

 

It’s all well and good to say the UK is a signatory to agreements, but it costs a significant amount of money to enforce those agreements. 

 

I didn’t say that was THE reason, just that it’s a possibility. 

I don’t practice family law, so of course your opinion is more valid than mine, but my first thought is that the child is NEVER to take an international vacation then until they are 18? Unless it’s a school trip and neither parent goes....

Outside of extenuating circumstances I wouldn’t think divorce would ruin family vacation plans for years. 

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On 10/7/2018 at 6:18 PM, CousinOliver said:

My late husband and I got married when he was 44 and I was almost 36.  I'm a professor, he was an engineer.  Neither of us had been married or had children.  If I expressed how happy we were, I'd likely be accused of delusions.  

I'm glad neither of us were short sighted enough to dismiss someone for being unmarried past a certain age.  

His only defect was the heart defect that unexpectedly took him.  

My husband of one year was a 52 year old first time groom last year.  I knew him when we were kids and young adults; short story:  I never saw his never been married status as a flaw, it just was.

I am sorry you lost your husband.

Edited to add:  Does Paul really carry hair around with him?  Eww.  Reminds me of my younger son and I this summer:  He made a jar with a lid on a pottery wheel, and I said it would make a good urn!  He says, "Yeah.....I can put your ashes in there someday and say to a future girlfriend, in a flat voice: "Here.....this is my mother,  I sprinkle her ashes on my food."  My son has an odd sense of humor, kinda like his mom!!!  LOL!

Edited by Mrs. Hanson
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Even if Rachel wanted to live in the UK, I doubt she will be able to unless John gets another job, as John has to have funds or an income of a minimum of £18,600 a year before tax, ($24,500) and it’s even higher if you are sponsoring children. 

Edited by Nickieca · Reason: Grammer
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24 minutes ago, Nickieca said:

Even if Rachel wanted to live in the UK, I doubt she will be able to unless John gets another job, as John has to have funds or an income of a minimum of £18,600 a year before tax, ($24,500) and it’s even higher if you are sponsoring children. 

Crying and sobbing:  "BUT THAT'S NOT FAIR!!!!"

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5 minutes ago, Gigglepuff said:

The entire UNIVERSE is conspiring against them! 

I just can't believe Rachel could not/would not put an ad in the paper:  "Looking for unemployed guy, lives with Mom, heavily in debt, fighting  past a must, and be a drinker, be under five foot four to complete the picture.  Call Rachel at 555-DRAB for more information.  For futher information, follow my IG at #followourdelusions"

Edited by Mrs. Hanson
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On 10/15/2018 at 5:08 PM, Scarlett45 said:

I don’t practice family law, so of course your opinion is more valid than mine, but my first thought is that the child is NEVER to take an international vacation then until they are 18? Unless it’s a school trip and neither parent goes....

Outside of extenuating circumstances I wouldn’t think divorce would ruin family vacation plans for years. 

They can if the other parent agrees. The other parent iften has to provide proof of this when traveling, such as a notarized consent. 

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