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S07.E13: A Future to Believe In


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On 9/26/2018 at 11:53 AM, Empress1 said:

Tristan shouldn't have cancelled his [health insurance plan] until he had confirmation that he was on hers. I don't think it should even be a consideration (meaning I don't think she should put him on hers at this stage in the game - they're not a normal married couple), but if that's what they were going to do,

[Crazy Bird Lady:  Um, actually that should probably be more like, "if that's what Tristan told Mia to do, and he just assumed she would do as she was told- then..."]

he should have had a coverage date in hand before he cancelled his [own health insurance]-

[Crazy Bird Lady: Absolutely!]

- especially because he knew she was flaking out about doing it. 

[Crazy Bird Lady: I doubt if Mia was really "flaking out". She didn't want to put him on her plan, because she knew dam well their marriage might not last another month!]

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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3 hours ago, CousinOliver said:

I've got no sympathy for Mia.  It sounds like she led Tristan on, saying she would put him on her insurance, as any normal, married couple would do.  Goodness knows my late husband had me on his policy before the ink was dry on the marriage certificate to save us money.  But Mia, being shady, was misdirecting and giving wrong numbers rather than just admitting she didn't have a "shared financial burden" level of commitment.  

Then there was inconsistencies in the "kick out". Mia says, "he threw my stuff in the hall" and Tristan says, "Mia packed up her stuff." I figured one was lying, but probably not.  Likely, manipulator Mia packed her own stuff and Tristan just put it in the hall, all the while making it sound like Tristan gathered her stuff, packed it, and kicked her out.  

Mia.  Eternal victim.  

 

3 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

IDK. Tristan packed up her stuff at her condo and moved it into his apartment in the first place. He has shown that he has no problem handling her stuff. I believe Mia in this case, that Tristan flipped out, packed her stuff and threw her out.

I think they're both shady.  I liked Tristan at first but his controlling attitude is stank. And this is after he supposedly found out about how Mia had been yelled at and given the stare of death while growing up.  So yeah, he's just as problematic as Mia but in a different way.

Neither of them should have been cast.  Mia's background apparently was missed by days or something by the MAFS checkers but you would think her stalker/theft tendencies would have been detected by a real therapist.  Tristan either flat out lied or avoiding mentioning the very real possibility that he could relocate to Houston which should have been a deal breaker for the show.  They were set up for failure from the start.

That said, once Mia was detained at the airport and the facts were known, Tristan should have bailed.  I'm not familiar with Texas laws but surely the fact that Mia was fraudulent and the marriage had not been consummated (heck, they hadn't even kissed on the lips at that point) would qualify for an annulment.  

That he stayed, and that Mia returned this week, reeks of money being the motivating factor.

 

4 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

They're such a fucking mess. It's really a disaster and I don't understand why they don't just call it. This is a Heather/Derek situation where they should have called it on day 3.

I'm probably one of the few people out there that never disliked Derek.  In fact, I felt sorry for him.  He may not have been Heather's idea of a good match but he seemed like a relatively decent (if stoned) guy.  At least he tried to make the best of the situation and have a good time on the honeymoon, unlike his prissy, sour wife who refused to get off her Huffy bike for 5 minutes.  

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So, Tristan still has no insurance and Mia still doesn't want to move to Houston.  Nothing has been resolved, and the root cause for their outrageous tactics against each other has never been acknowledged.  Pastor Cal encouraged them to go live in fantasyland with all of this festering under the surface.   What a laughable total waste of time.  Clearly all three of them know what a charade this is or else they'd be embarrassed to put in such cringe-worthy appearances.

  • Love 8
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6 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

I'm probably one of the few people out there that never disliked Derek.  In fact, I felt sorry for him.  He may not have been Heather's idea of a good match but he seemed like a relatively decent (if stoned) guy.  At least he tried to make the best of the situation and have a good time on the honeymoon, unlike his prissy, sour wife who refused to get off her Huffy bike for 5 minutes.  

I don't think he's a bad guy either, but I understand why Heather wanted out so fast and I commend her for sticking to her guns about it. Sometimes things are just wrong, can't be fixed, and you have to cut them lose.

10 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

[Crazy Bird Lady: I doubt if Mia was really "flaking out". She didn't want to put him on her plan, because she knew dam well their marriage might not last another month!]

My point is that whatever her reason for not putting him on her insurance, she did not put him on her insurance, and he knew she did not put him on her insurance. He assumed she would do it, but then he also said straight out that she kept on not doing it. Thus, as he put it, "common sense" should dictate that if he cancelled his insurance, he would have none. I get that Mia didn't do what she said she would do - and so should he have.

And as @RocketGirl says, nothing was resolved. Tristan still has no insurance - the end result was not "OK, I just called and you're covered as of [date]." And Mia still doesn't want to go to Houston. Pastor Cal was talking about their foundation - none of these couples have a foundation yet, and what little one Mia and Tristan have is literally based on lies. It's ridiculous.

  • Love 8
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Once again great advice from Dr. Blondie and Disaster Cal.

 

Also- Dave and Amber having a conversation:

 

Dave: I got you a plant.

Amber: Love it, we're literally planting roots together.

Dave: I like that.

Amber: I like that.

Dave: I feel like we're in a good place.

Amber: I like talking to you.

Dave: Me too.  I like that.

 

(Cut to interview)

"I got married at first sight because..."

  • Love 21
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16 hours ago, PityFree said:

Gawd. Amber and Dave Are still not at the point where they can engage in small talk comfortably. it’s like they just met 20 minutes ago. It’s so painful to watch!

They seemed to genuinely have fun together later on at the field day.  It may be too little too late for them though.  I suspect that Amber is probably going to be really hurt on decision day.

  • Love 5
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2 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I've noted that, even on camera, when Tristan and Mia "discuss" something it's usually Tristan *telling* Mia what he wants her to do, as if she were his employee instead of his wife. Mia actually said to him, during that "recent" fight, that Tristan always talks over her. And it's true -- he does.

I used to think of Tristan as a love-struck "victim" of the way MAFS "experts" pair their couples. I don't think that anymore. 

 

3 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

IDK. Tristan packed up her stuff at her condo and moved it into his apartment in the first place. He has shown that he has no problem handling her stuff. I believe Mia in this case, that Tristan flipped out, packed her stuff and threw her out.

 

57 minutes ago, tumamita said:

Reading some comments, I’m surprised so many people don’t think what Tristan did was wrong. That was wrong on many, many levels. This reminds me of my ex who told me for months to get out and when I finally did, he was like what why did you leave? Umm are you crazy - you don’t just say those things in a fight. Mia better not ever go back and Tristan needs to grow up and learn how to connunicate and disagree healthy. 

Bobby looked so disappointed when Danielle came home and was 3rd in line to be acknowledged. Poor boy lol

Mia is no prize but one optic she did not control was the coffee mug thing. Tristan showed her a coffee cup (I am not sure if that is what it was) and she says he can keep that and he kind of throws it at her feet. Tristan thought Mia was going to pay his bills and it’s not happening. Mia is very passive aggressive but Tristan is no saint. Let’s just say they have matching mug shots.

  • Love 8
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1 hour ago, tumamita said:

Reading some comments, I’m surprised so many people don’t think what Tristan did was wrong. That was wrong on many, many levels. This reminds me of my ex who told me for months to get out and when I finally did, he was like what why did you leave? Umm are you crazy - you don’t just say those things in a fight. Mia better not ever go back and Tristan needs to grow up and learn how to connunicate and disagree healthy. 

Maybe it's because Tristan, though immature was stuck with a criminal, a stalker and a thief.  That's enough to make anybody go nuts.

  • Love 8
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17 hours ago, scruffy73 said:

Look, I’m no Mia fan at all but damn. Tristan accepted all the beginning foolishness but gets mad when she doesn’t put him on her health insurance when he didn’t even tell her he cancelled his coverage? And how stupid is he to do that in the middle of an experiment with a woman that is clearly untrustworthy!?!? Sorry but Tristan is the wrong one in this one.

Yes to this a million times! I think it's all pretty shady on his part. Let's see, his business is failing and self-employed medical insurance is probably expensive. I have no doubt she has better insurance than him since she works for a big company. It really puts into perspective why he stayed with her after the arrest, oh excuse me, "detainment". I think it was all for the money because his business is doing so badly and there was absolutely no logical reason to stay after that nonsense. Now there is no financial gain, out she goes.......

  • Love 8
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I remember when an ex of mine first said "I love you" to me. It was after we we had only known each other for a couple weeks. After he said it, I smiled and said 'thank you for loving me'. I thought he was charming & handsome when we first met but he wasn't really my type. I gave him a chance because I didn't want to 'kick him to the curb' just because I wasn't physically attracted to him. Anyway, long story short, he got extremely upset because I didn't say I love you back after the 2nd time he said it to me (later the same day). What was I supposed to say if I wasn't in love with him yet? So in order to avoid a confrontation, I (lied) told him that I loved him, too. Yes, he was a bully & controller like Tristan!

So I definitely empathize with Danielle taking her time to say those 3 words when she feels she's ready or actually in love. The worst thing is your partner pressuring you to say it or guilt-tripping you in to saying it back (whether you mean it or not). Why do people not feel that a person should express their feelings on their own timeline? Both partners don't always feel the same at the same exact time. I just don't understand why it's such an issue!

 

**Oh and that very same ex also got mad at me about some other issue further into the relationship and packed all the clothes I had at his apartment and threw them out in the hallway (thankfully we weren't living together). Then he blamed me for what he did and said that I packed up and left him?! WOW. And he wondered why I would never move in with him after that. He was Tristan's twin soul brother LOL

Edited by Lacy4u
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Bobby's brother in law is a co conspirator in the fix...he knows Danielle's withholding  the "I love you"  to Bobby is the story line of the couple....

Let's have another drink....pass me those appetizers...

Bobby's dinner buddy is Taylor, a friend, not his BIL...I watched the restaurant scene again to look at their food and the dude's name and connection to The Bobster popped up...

I stand corrected...

Edited by humbleopinion
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I can see Mia not wanting to put Tristan on her insurance.  If she has a high deductible plan, the premiums are small but your out of pocket is huge.  If she's on, say, a $1500 plan just for herself, it probably doubles to $3000 if she adds even one dependent.  So now she's on the hook OOP of $3000 instead of $1500 before the insurance kicks in.  That would make many a person give pause.  I'm sure many a person would be upset if they lost coverage, but you don't kick someone out of the house....unless, like it was stated by someone else, this is what he was staying in the relationship for.  And then out came Pastor Cal and they had a pow-wow where he assured Tristan the show would get him health coverage, and lo and behold all of a sudden he says on camera that he loves Mia.  I just can't take these two anymore.  They're lying, the show is lying.....it's so obvious.

How lame was that "garden"?  They put 4 boring plants together in a boring planter.  Gee, don't strain yourselves.  Their dialogue was phony and forced.  Dave almost looked like he was reciting off of cue cards.  I hope Dave has conveyed to Amber in private that he doesn't think they are a good match.  I would hate for Amber to be gobsmacked.  Dave doesn't seem the type that would be that callous.  I think he thinks she's a sweet person, but he doesn't have anything in common with her.  And Amber said it all...'I signed up for Married at First Sight to have a baby'.  No mention of a husband....just that she wants to have a baby.  Hope you get what you want, Amber, but it's not going to be with Dave.  

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17 hours ago, shouldbedancing said:

I feel like every black couple on this show crashes and burns so hard.

6 hours ago, Neurochick said:

I agree.  I don't know why that is.  Maybe they need a black FEMALE expert instead of Pastor Cal.

Well technically they are 1/3 of all couples, and the white couples have a way lower than 33% success rate.  (Do we know how Shawniece and Jephte are doing these days?)

 

8 hours ago, Jeanne222 said:

I still can't believe he had the balls to pack her up and put her things in the hallway!  

Is it wrong that this was my favorite thing of the season?  :D

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About Mia and Tristan, the insurance and the fight. . .

We know that Mia is someone who will push, push, push her agenda past all reasonable legal means.  We know if something makes her look bad, she will outright LIE.  We know that if you ask her specifically not to bring up a topic of conversation, she will nod in agreement that she won't, but bring it up at the very first opportunity she has.  And we know that she hasn't taken ANY responsibility for anything she has done or said . . . or any responsibility for the fallout her behavior has caused to other people at any point.  (At least she hasn't done so on camera.)   In fact, we know (because she tells us) that she believes she isn't the cause of, but rather the victim of, her own behavior.

At the very least, she's a very difficult personality.

I'm sure Tristan isn't perfect.  I mean he signed up to be "married at first sight" on a silly reality show . . . so . . I mean he likely has some issues of his own.  But I'm not sure why we need to really search for what his contributions are . . . because . . . well, again, Mia has given us enough evidence to pin all of this on what we already know about her.

Tristan says Mia agreed to add him to her insurance and that seems supported by the fact (that Mia didn't contest) that she apparently gave him a phone number to facilitate that.  The number didn't work.  Again, we've seen Mia nod in agreement in the past and then absolutely act in a complete opposite way of what she agreed to, and then act confused by why that would be a problem.  It seems like she just did that same thing she has a history of doing; SAYING one thing and DOING another thing.  So she SAID she would add him, but give him a false phone number so it wouldn't actually happen.  Obviously Tristan shouldn't have dropped his insurance before being added onto hers, but damn, it's hard to figure out what to do when you are in the middle of this kind of chaos.  Honestly, I wonder if he simply didn't renew his insurance because they had agreed that he would be added to hers.   And the end result is Mia (once again) feeling like she's somehow been victimized, "why oh why would you drop your insurance?!".  Once again, she's just a confused victim.  And Tristan looks like anyone would look who was being gas lighted, sputtering, "but we TALKED about this".

Then the fight happens off camera.  Back on camera, Mia is once again a confused victim.  Tristan admits he said some things he shouldn't have.  Mia admits to nothing.  

Mia says, confused because she did absolutely nothing wrong, that Tristan just over reacted to the insurance issue.  He basically lost it and threw her things into the hallway.

Tristan admits he acted badly, but says the argument was about the move.  That Mia had been in agreement to move, but suddenly, unexpectedly changed her mind (because of the insurance issue).  He said the marriage included a move and if she wasn't intending to move then she clearly wasn't intending to be in the marriage, at which point he threw her out.  This makes some sense to me.  Why stay living together in his apartment if she truly isn't intending to do anything she says . . . like, well . . . be married.

See ONCE AGAIN this seems to be just exactly how Mia operates.  The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior.  Mia has a history of SAYING one thing and DOING the opposite thing.  

So, I lean toward believing Tristan.  

The fact that he acted so strangely during the counseling session doesn't change my mind either.  He acted like someone victimized by gas lighting.  He was nervous with a heightened "fight or flight" mode.  He seemed to be questioning what had actually happened.  Mia said he had been behaving abusively toward her.  He seemed to take that claim seriously but struggle to understand how things had gotten turned around.

And Mia just sat there with a weird, distant smile on her face.

That girl is MESSED UP>

  • Love 14
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1 hour ago, Ilovepie said:

Bobby's friend's face said it all when Bobby told him he had told Danielle he loved her, but she hadn't reciprocated........

Danielle gave Henry more love and affection in her greeting than she's given Bobby in six weeks. Hell, Henry treated Bobby with more loving tenderness in bed than Danielle ever has.

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10 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Yes.

I doubt if they actually had an "agreement" that Mia would put him on her insurance, though. Tristan is big on saying, "I told you to..." Meaning, Tristan tells Mia what he wants her to do, and expects her to do it --even if she has never actually agreed to do so. In this case, he obviously didn't explain why he wanted her to put him on her insurance, and Mia knew it would mean a lot of money deducted from her paycheck for a man she might not be married to very much longer, and she passively resisted following his "orders".

He probably told her over a light lunch. 

Sorry, I couldn't resist lol. 

  • Love 11
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Tristan and Mia:  If ever two people deserved each other it's these two. 

Tristan's petulance is annoying as hell.  Man the fuck up and deal with the reality you've allowed yourself to become mired in, Tris.   In all actuality it's no longer Mia's fault that you didn't walk earlier on.  Stop dragging out the inevitable and take a hike, rfn.  You'll both be healthier for it.   Do you pull the wings off of flies, too?  Just stop it.    

And change those butt ugly pillow cases and blankets for something a little cleaner looking.   I keep thinking they must reek with old perfume, after shave and donut crumbs.  The ever present poutiness in both of them is most distracting and unbecoming. 

I don't like these two very well.  .I kind of hope that they stay together.   It would serve them both right.  LOL

Dave and Burnt Umber:  Just....no.   You two selfish, swine ass wipes!  Paisley needs toys and a kitty tree.  Self-centered jerks. 

Bobby and Danielle:  Only if Danielle can pull her head out of her ass long enough to take a breath and take a long look at the nice young man she has been gifted with and learn to appreciate him.   She's pretty aloof.  I wish Bobby well if she chooses to stay with him.  Maybe he can stay home and be a house husband and take care of the children while she fulfills her destiny with work.  . 

  • Love 5
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3 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Yes to this a million times! I think it's all pretty shady on his part. Let's see, his business is failing and self-employed medical insurance is probably expensive. I have no doubt she has better insurance than him since she works for a big company. It really puts into perspective why he stayed with her after the arrest, oh excuse me, "detainment". I think it was all for the money because his business is doing so badly and there was absolutely no logical reason to stay after that nonsense. Now there is no financial gain, out she goes.......

I don't like watching Mia and Tristan so I usually don't comment on them. Today I'm breaking my silence. 

Mia is shady. I can't figure her out. 

I don't like Tristan either. His behavior was especially ugly in this episode. 

I'm wondering if Mia intentionally hesitated to put Tristan on her insurance. It's too soon for that. If they end up separating, she'll end up paying for that insurance until they get a divorce. I know what Mia does for a living but not kind of company she works for, so switching from single coverage could be an expense she doesn't want to be saddled with when this thing goes south. I wish she'd open her mouth more but like she said, Tristan talks over her. He talks down to her and expects her to be a mind reader. I'm wondering if he trusted Mia with the kind of personal information needed to enroll someone in health insurance.

2 hours ago, princelina said:

Well technically they are 1/3 of all couples, and the white couples have a way lower than 33% success rate.  (Do we know how Shawniece and Jephte are doing these days?)

 

Is it wrong that this was my favorite thing of the season?  :D

Yes, but I won't hold it against you. 

It was really mean and ugly. People have arguments. That was totally unnecessary. Agreeing with some of what Pastor Carl said here. If he didn't want her, he should have walked away and not dragged it out. 

  • Love 5
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2 hours ago, ezzy4 said:

About Mia and Tristan, the insurance and the fight. . .

We know that Mia is someone who will push, push, push her agenda past all reasonable legal means.  We know if something makes her look bad, she will outright LIE.  We know that if you ask her specifically not to bring up a topic of conversation, she will nod in agreement that she won't, but bring it up at the very first opportunity she has.  And we know that she hasn't taken ANY responsibility for anything she has done or said . . . or any responsibility for the fallout her behavior has caused to other people at any point.  (At least she hasn't done so on camera.)   In fact, we know (because she tells us) that she believes she isn't the cause of, but rather the victim of, her own behavior.

At the very least, she's a very difficult personality.

I'm sure Tristan isn't perfect.  I mean he signed up to be "married at first sight" on a silly reality show . . . so . . I mean he likely has some issues of his own.  But I'm not sure why we need to really search for what his contributions are . . . because . . . well, again, Mia has given us enough evidence to pin all of this on what we already know about her.

Tristan says Mia agreed to add him to her insurance and that seems supported by the fact (that Mia didn't contest) that she apparently gave him a phone number to facilitate that.  The number didn't work.  Again, we've seen Mia nod in agreement in the past and then absolutely act in a complete opposite way of what she agreed to, and then act confused by why that would be a problem.  It seems like she just did that same thing she has a history of doing; SAYING one thing and DOING another thing.  So she SAID she would add him, but give him a false phone number so it wouldn't actually happen.  Obviously Tristan shouldn't have dropped his insurance before being added onto hers, but damn, it's hard to figure out what to do when you are in the middle of this kind of chaos.  Honestly, I wonder if he simply didn't renew his insurance because they had agreed that he would be added to hers.   And the end result is Mia (once again) feeling like she's somehow been victimized, "why oh why would you drop your insurance?!".  Once again, she's just a confused victim.  And Tristan looks like anyone would look who was being gas lighted, sputtering, "but we TALKED about this".

Then the fight happens off camera.  Back on camera, Mia is once again a confused victim.  Tristan admits he said some things he shouldn't have.  Mia admits to nothing.  

Mia says, confused because she did absolutely nothing wrong, that Tristan just over reacted to the insurance issue.  He basically lost it and threw her things into the hallway.

Tristan admits he acted badly, but says the argument was about the move.  That Mia had been in agreement to move, but suddenly, unexpectedly changed her mind (because of the insurance issue).  He said the marriage included a move and if she wasn't intending to move then she clearly wasn't intending to be in the marriage, at which point he threw her out.  This makes some sense to me.  Why stay living together in his apartment if she truly isn't intending to do anything she says . . . like, well . . . be married.

See ONCE AGAIN this seems to be just exactly how Mia operates.  The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior.  Mia has a history of SAYING one thing and DOING the opposite thing.  

So, I lean toward believing Tristan.  

The fact that he acted so strangely during the counseling session doesn't change my mind either.  He acted like someone victimized by gas lighting.  He was nervous with a heightened "fight or flight" mode.  He seemed to be questioning what had actually happened.  Mia said he had been behaving abusively toward her.  He seemed to take that claim seriously but struggle to understand how things had gotten turned around.

And Mia just sat there with a weird, distant smile on her face.

That girl is MESSED UP>

But putting her stuff out? I just don't think that was necessary. If he had an issue with her not confirming the insurance, then why did he cancel his? We know Mia is unstable and unreliable. This is why I try not to mention those two. They're painful to watch. 

  • Love 6
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4 hours ago, Ilovepie said:

Yes to this a million times! I think it's all pretty shady on his part. Let's see, his business is failing and self-employed medical insurance is probably expensive. I have no doubt she has better insurance than him since she works for a big company. It really puts into perspective why he stayed with her after the arrest, oh excuse me, "detainment". I think it was all for the money because his business is doing so badly and there was absolutely no logical reason to stay after that nonsense. Now there is no financial gain, out she goes.......

 

5 minutes ago, love2lovebadtv said:

I don't like watching Mia and Tristan so I usually don't comment on them. Today I'm breaking my silence. 

Mia is shady. I can't figure her out. 

I don't like Tristan either. His behavior was especially ugly in this episode. 

I'm wondering if Mia intentionally hesitated to put Tristan on her insurance. It's too soon for that. If they end up separating, she'll end up paying for that insurance until they get a divorce. I know what Mia does for a living but not kind of company she works for, so switching from single coverage could be an expense she doesn't want to be saddled with when this thing goes south. I wish she'd open her mouth more but like she said, Tristan talks over her. He talks down to her and expects her to be a mind reader. I'm wondering if he trusted Mia with the kind of personal information needed to enroll someone in health insurance.

 

 

2 hours ago, ezzy4 said:

About Mia and Tristan, the insurance and the fight. . .

We know that Mia is someone who will push, push, push her agenda past all reasonable legal means.  We know if something makes her look bad, she will outright LIE.  We know that if you ask her specifically not to bring up a topic of conversation, she will nod in agreement that she won't, but bring it up at the very first opportunity she has.  And we know that she hasn't taken ANY responsibility for anything she has done or said . . . or any responsibility for the fallout her behavior has caused to other people at any point.  (At least she hasn't done so on camera.)   In fact, we know (because she tells us) that she believes she isn't the cause of, but rather the victim of, her own behavior.

At the very least, she's a very difficult personality.

I'm sure Tristan isn't perfect.  I mean he signed up to be "married at first sight" on a silly reality show . . . so . . I mean he likely has some issues of his own.  But I'm not sure why we need to really search for what his contributions are . . . because . . . well, again, Mia has given us enough evidence to pin all of this on what we already know about her.

Tristan says Mia agreed to add him to her insurance and that seems supported by the fact (that Mia didn't contest) that she apparently gave him a phone number to facilitate that.  The number didn't work.  Again, we've seen Mia nod in agreement in the past and then absolutely act in a complete opposite way of what she agreed to, and then act confused by why that would be a problem.  It seems like she just did that same thing she has a history of doing; SAYING one thing and DOING another thing.  So she SAID she would add him, but give him a false phone number so it wouldn't actually happen.  Obviously Tristan shouldn't have dropped his insurance before being added onto hers, but damn, it's hard to figure out what to do when you are in the middle of this kind of chaos.  Honestly, I wonder if he simply didn't renew his insurance because they had agreed that he would be added to hers.   And the end result is Mia (once again) feeling like she's somehow been victimized, "why oh why would you drop your insurance?!".  Once again, she's just a confused victim.  And Tristan looks like anyone would look who was being gas lighted, sputtering, "but we TALKED about this".

Then the fight happens off camera.  Back on camera, Mia is once again a confused victim.  Tristan admits he said some things he shouldn't have.  Mia admits to nothing.  

Mia says, confused because she did absolutely nothing wrong, that Tristan just over reacted to the insurance issue.  He basically lost it and threw her things into the hallway.

Tristan admits he acted badly, but says the argument was about the move.  That Mia had been in agreement to move, but suddenly, unexpectedly changed her mind (because of the insurance issue).  He said the marriage included a move and if she wasn't intending to move then she clearly wasn't intending to be in the marriage, at which point he threw her out.  This makes some sense to me.  Why stay living together in his apartment if she truly isn't intending to do anything she says . . . like, well . . . be married.

See ONCE AGAIN this seems to be just exactly how Mia operates.  The best prediction of future behavior is past behavior.  Mia has a history of SAYING one thing and DOING the opposite thing.  

So, I lean toward believing Tristan.  

The fact that he acted so strangely during the counseling session doesn't change my mind either.  He acted like someone victimized by gas lighting.  He was nervous with a heightened "fight or flight" mode.  He seemed to be questioning what had actually happened.  Mia said he had been behaving abusively toward her.  He seemed to take that claim seriously but struggle to understand how things had gotten turned around.

And Mia just sat there with a weird, distant smile on her face.

That girl is MESSED UP>

Just because Mia is a piece of shit does not necessarily make him right in comparison. I dislike them both and have no sympathy for either. I have no idea what is wrong with Mia but something is not right. Tristan might have been gaslighted by her but I think it is true that he kicked her out of the house ( a broken clock is right twice a day). Mia has done nothing to earn our trust but he was very odd about canceling his insurance before he had proof that she actually put him on his. No rational person would have done that particularly given their situation and his wife's general flakiness. I am frankly done with both of them and wish they would leave my screen forever.

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I don't know - maybe what happened is she told Tristan he was on her insurance, he went to the doctor, and when the doctor called the number Mia gave him for insurance, it was a bad number or the insurance number wasn't correct - so no insurance. I had an ex-husband who did douchey stuff like that to me all of the time (including the insurance thing). I actually was at the doctor giving what I thought was our insurance number, and the doctor was like, "Nope." He did it later after our divorce with our son, as well, even though he was compelled by the court to have insurance for him (we both carried him on our policies - well, I did. Turns out he was lying.)

The first time with the insurance thing, when I figured it out, I said, "But you told me I was on your insurance and that you added me," and his response was, "Well what did you WANT me to tell you? You made me lie to you." He would also do shit like pack his bags and then claim to anyone who asked that I'd kicked him out. He once screwed the neighbors when my son and I were away visiting my folks (both of them - the wife was one of my closest friends, I thought). He told them I had given him permission to do so, so they were stunned I was upset. When I finally had enough and left him, he told everyone that I had left him because he didn't make enough money. Nope - it was because he screwed the neighbors and was a pathological liar. I made my own money (more than him).

So, as someone who has been gaslighted by a lying narcissist, I see a lot of that in Tristan's confusion and behaviors. I mean, Tristan is still acting like a dick. But being gaslighted, even for a short period, is a surreal experience. I am intelligent and pretty well-adjusted, and I felt so confused all of the time and started to doubt my own perception. But no matter what I said, it was always that I was lying, he never said or did that, and if he was lying it was because I made him. I left him when my son was 3 so I had to deal with his attempted gaslighting of me and my son for the next 15 years. My son's 18th birthday was a happy day, and my son (who is 22 now) won't talk to his dad anymore because of the gaslighting from his dad as well as his dad's nightmare of a new wife, who is also a narcissist. They have two special needs children now - and it makes me sad for those kids. 

 

My point? Don't underestimate what gaslighting can do to even the smartest and most well-adjusted person. It is really messed up and abusive, and sometimes to an outsider your responses can look pretty nuts. 

  • Love 13
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On 9/25/2018 at 9:23 PM, LilaFowler said:

Dave's garden was totally a producer-driven plot.

I see what you did there!

22 hours ago, scruffy73 said:

NONE of these folks have a foundation! They are strangers! 

Preach on!  Pastor Cal says that year after year after year, and it's such nonsense.  It makes me wonder, for all of the experts, doesn't it cost them some real life clients/parishioners, when they see the horrible advice they give on TV?  Or are there enough fame-sniffers to take up the slack? 

 

10 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I've noted that, even on camera, when Tristan and Mia "discuss" something it's usually Tristan *telling* Mia what he wants her to do, as if she were his employee instead of his wife. Mia actually said to him, during that "recent" fight, that Tristan always talks over her. And it's true -- he does.

 

22 hours ago, scruffy73 said:

Look, I’m no Mia fan at all but damn. Tristan accepted all the beginning foolishness but gets mad when she doesn’t put him on her health insurance when he didn’t even tell her he cancelled his coverage? And how stupid is he to do that in the middle of an experiment with a woman that is clearly untrustworthy!?!? Sorry but Tristan is the wrong one in this one.

My feelings about Tristan changed sooo much during this episode.  He was so condescending and gaslight-y to Mia during their conversation.  When she was saying how she felt, actually using adult words and expressed properly (even using "I" statements!), he said something like "Oh, you're bothered by something?" as though she didn't have the right.  He also tried to gaslight her, by saying that he hadn't told her that he had cancelled his insurance because she had been so stressed out, as though his piss-poor decision-making was somehow her fault.  Un-f*ing-believable.

 

16 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Tristan thought he could get rid of Mia by forcing the move to Houston on her, but she went for it, so he had to find another "reason" to dump her.  He hasn't trusted her from day one.  He has only stayed in the relationship out of contractual obligation and has only been able to pull off a semi-convincing act that he's all-in with her.  Of course we here can see through that.  His exaggerated reaction to her response to him cancelling his health insurance was his next attempt to escape the prison of this charade of a relationship.  Pastor Cal trying to convince them to stay together is only a finger in the dike.  Tristan will find another reason to dump her.  Dude should just own up to it if he's not really into her.  Why is he forcing himself to look like he's really into her when it's so painfully obvious to anyone with a working brain that he is NOT?  I think he is invested in looking like their relationship is going to work out.  Maybe he doesn't want to admit defeat or is being pushed into it by the show, but whatever it is, it's obvious that it's only a matter of time until the next time they have a blowout.  I think he should have followed his gut and dumped her after he found out about her arrest and she lied to him.  No way would any relationship starting off as strangers survive that in "real life".

One million times 'yes' to this!

  • Love 5
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8 hours ago, Neurochick said:

Maybe it's because Tristan, though immature was stuck with a criminal, a stalker and a thief.  That's enough to make anybody go nuts.

But he wasn't "stuck".  He could have (and should have) left when he found out that she was a criminal, a stalker and a thief.  The fact that he didn't, puts his actions after that on him, not on Mia.

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On 9/26/2018 at 7:17 AM, qtpye said:

I have a feeling that Tristan is just as shady as Mia. The difference is that he is shady about his finances and she is shady about her personal life. He was absolutely trying to force and guilt her into taking on his insurance responsibilities. He is self-employed and I bet his insurance premiums are pretty high, even getting on COBRA would be a step up for him. I think his business is not doing well and he was hoping for Mia's relatively stable income and benefits were going to help him get through some hard times. Money is probably the real reason that he wanted to stay with Mia, not true love or God.  

One thing about that makes no sense at all to me. Mia works, and has insurance from it. Tristan wanted her to put him on her insurance (because he lost and/or was planning to drop his own insurance, although he somehow "forgot" to "mention" that part to Mia). 

But, apparently Tristan is also demanding that if Mia is going to be his wife, she needs to move to Houston with him. That means she would have to quit her job in Dallas.  And considering he's already in the red, there's no way that living on whatever Tristan makes is going to be more than having both salaries!!

On top of that: If Mia quit her job to move to Houston with Tristan, they couldn't stay on her work insurance much longer! (I mean, yeah there's Cobra, but that gets expensive fast).

[Correction: apparently -and I didn't know this- Mia's job working for an airline can be done online only, and her supervisor said she was happy for Mia's "fresh new start" moving to Houston.]

It's still a terrible idea for them to stay together, any way you look at it.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
Correction
  • Love 4
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42 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

One thing about that makes no sense at all to me. Mia works, and has insurance from it. Tristan wanted her to put him on her insurance (because he lost and/or was planning to drop his own insurance, although he somehow "forgot" to "mention" that part to Mia). 

But, apparently Tristan is also demanding that if Mia is going to be his wife, she needs to move to Houston with him. That means she would have to quit her job in Dallas.  And considering he's already in the red, there's no way that living on whatever Tristan makes is going to be more than having both salaries!!

On top of that: If Mia quit her job to move to Houston with Tristan, they couldn't stay on her work insurance much longer! (I mean, yeah there's Cobra, but that gets expensive fast).

It's a terrible idea any way you look at it.

All good points. Maybe Mia can work remotely....? But really, seriously, none of this makes any sense. None! How many more episodes of this mutual abuse do we have to endure?

 

Re: Danielle saying she loves Bobby, maybe she wants to be completely honest and not say anything she doesn’t mean even if it frustrates the viewers? It is easy to throw “love you” out there but she has to live with all that comes with. If Bobby is overwhelming her now, imagine how much more “extra” he will be if she says she loves him. She is doing the right thing for them. Well, kissing him before the dogs should have been a no-brainer, easy win for her but she mucked that up.

  • Love 3
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58 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

One thing about that makes no sense at all to me. Mia works, and has insurance from it. Tristan wanted her to put him on her insurance (because he lost and/or was planning to drop his own insurance, although he somehow "forgot" to "mention" that part to Mia). 

But, apparently Tristan is also demanding that if Mia is going to be his wife, she needs to move to Houston with him. That means she would have to quit her job in Dallas.  And considering he's already in the red, there's no way that living on whatever Tristan makes is going to be more than having both salaries!!

On top of that: If Mia quit her job to move to Houston with Tristan, they couldn't stay on her work insurance much longer! (I mean, yeah there's Cobra, but that gets expensive fast).

It's a terrible idea any way you look at it.

 

Mia's job is remote, so no job change for her. They can continue their charade. 

Edited by love2lovebadtv
Added snark
  • Love 4
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12 hours ago, islandgal140 said:

Pastor Calvin: I have confidence that this marriage could work. 

Note to self: Never ask Dr. Calvin for advice on anything 

Tristan ain't shit! If a man will put you out as a newlywed he’ll put you out with an infant and a fresh episiotomy with $15 to your name.  

Mia, her Keurig, and her Blue Cross Blue Shield health insurance card should have stayed gone.  At the end of the episode, Mia looks so depressed to be back on Tristan's nasty little bed.

I am convinced that the "experts" get some kind of bonus if the couples last until D day. 

tenor.gif?itemid=7550611

Kandi's aunt!!  I forget which one, though.  I love the old lady gang!!

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As for the number of shows left...the producers will squeeze 4 more episodes out..

No unlike an anaconda than ate  a whole deer, horns and all...it will be awkward, there will be lots of straining, but with lots of twisting and turning 4 more shows will be pooped presented for our viewing pleasure....

Edited by humbleopinion
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9 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

But, apparently Tristan is also demanding that if Mia is going to be his wife, she needs to move to Houston with him. That means she would have to quit her job in Dallas.  And considering he's already in the red, there's no way that living on whatever Tristan makes is going to be more than having both salaries!!

Mia said in a previous episode that she works remotely. Pastor Cal specifically asked her about her job when they were discussing the move with him.

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9 hours ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

On top of that: If Mia quit her job to move to Houston with Tristan, they couldn't stay on her work insurance much longer! (I mean, yeah there's Cobra, but that gets expensive fast).

That's an assumption, though... Mia works for an airline and it's quite possible that she could relocate to Houston or quite possibly she has the ability to work from home. There are way too many holes in their story as presented for us to know how it would all play out.  I can't imagine that Tristan would ask Mia to put him on her insurance if she had to give up a job to move.  It seems his motives are to remain financially above water given that (again, as we are hearing) his businesses are struggling.  He couldn't be so stupid as to put them both in peril in terms of income.

I continue to be fascinated by their body language and how what they say so often contradicts how they act towards one another.  I truly think that Tristan has held the early incidents (arrest/detainment/stalking lies) against her- and it's not unusual that, since this all came down in the first few DAYS of their relationship, this would stick the strongest.  First impressions are huge.  That said, if I met someone nice and found out a couple of days later that they had serious legal, personality and integrity issues I'd definitely step back. He could have by stopping the whole train; it was his choice to continue.  But odds were that his anger and frustration would come out at some point. He was pretending to put on a shiny happy face when she "came back" (and slept with him).

Not that I think he is an innocent at all. He overreacted and was unkind to her during this encounter. I agree with her that he should never have cancelled his insurance without verifying that he was covered by hers (and most of us know that doesn't immediately happen. Activation can take some time). Not to mention that he already mentioned that she had been hard to pin down to get it done in the first place!  He set her up so that he could unleash on her.  And that he did.

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As I said before about Tristan, if Mia looked like Shawnice or Shelia, she would have been "purged" early on.  

But because Tristan liked the way Mia looked, he stayed married to her.  Now he realizes what a loon she is and wants out, but doesn't want to be the one who "wants the divorce."

But I haven't forgotten that Mia is a stalker and a thief.

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1 hour ago, Empress1 said:

Mia said in a previous episode that she works remotely. Pastor Cal specifically asked her about her job when they were discussing the move with him.

Sorry, guess I didn't notice that. Sounds like that discussion occurred while Tristan was still claiming that a move to Houston was "an option," not something that would become 'mandatory' for Mia.

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14 hours ago, love2lovebadtv said:

Mia is shady. I can't figure her out. 

I don't like Tristan either. His behavior was especially ugly in this episode. 

Yep. I said it in the spoiler section, but I’ll say it here too. He stayed for the money, and she did it to get attention from her stalker victim. These two are messed up, the experts are idiots for choosing them, and I really wish I didn’t have to hear another word about either of these assholes for the rest of this interminable season.

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1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

Mia works for an airline and it's quite possible that she could relocate to Houston or quite possibly she has the ability to work from home. There are way too many holes in their story as presented for us to know how it would all play out.  I can't imagine that Tristan would ask Mia to put him on her insurance if she had to give up a job to move.  It seems his motives are to remain financially above water given that (again, as we are hearing) his businesses are struggling.  He couldn't be so stupid as to put them both in peril in terms of income.

1 minute ago, Ilovepie said:

Yep. I said it in the spoiler section, but I’ll say it here too. He stayed for the money, and she did it to get attention from her stalker victim. These two are messed up, the experts are idiots for choosing them, and I really wish I didn’t have to hear another word about either of these assholes for the rest of this interminable season.

He [Tristan] could have [avoided all the frustration, distrust, and anger that we've seen bursting from recently] by stopping the whole train; it was his choice to continue.  But odds were that his anger and frustration would come out at some point. He was pretending to put on a shiny happy face when she "came back" (and slept with him).

Not that I think he is an innocent at all. He overreacted and was unkind to her during this encounter. I agree with her that he should never have cancelled his insurance without verifying that he was covered by hers (and most of us know that doesn't immediately happen. Activation can take some time). Not to mention that he already mentioned that she had been hard to pin down to get it done in the first place!  He set her up so that he could unleash on her.  And that he did.

Apparently, Mia at least believes she could live in Houston and continue to do the same job --that was something I didn't catch. Dallas is a huge hub for USA airlines, though; chances are, her supervisor(s) are in Dallas. (Yes, I know - there's always "face time").

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1 minute ago, humbleopinion said:

Well, T/M have managed to make themselves among the most loathsome of the US MAFS couples...

Which couple do you think were worse or are they winner, winner chicken dinner?.....

I think T/M are the worst followed by David and Ashley.

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I dont know where to begin

We all know that Mia is a liar.  We all know stuff goes on behind cameras we aren't privy to.  We all know this is a bunch of BS and yet we are all hanging on

I think the insurance discussion was made, and Tristan was stupid enough to cancel his.  Mia admitted she gave him the number to call about the insurance.  The wrong number of course.  She even admitted that she didn't follow up.  

the big fight was a bunch of things OR he had had enough.  He told her that if she didn't want to go to Houston she didn't have to go, but he didn't want her in that apartment while he was not there, she must have said ok.  Of course she kept her old place and didn't move out.

I fast forward thru their conversations anyway.  Dont know why I care.  Disaster Cal stating they had a strong foundation must have forgotten their foundation was spent in jail and the airport.

 

As far as Danielle, I am loosing my good vibes for her.  She always says she is happy with what he does for her.  Not happy with him.  Even her note was thankyou for all you do for me.  She brings more dogs in and doesn't take care of them.  She is not as organized and competent as stated.  Even her bedroom drawers were very messy.  Not sure Bobby is what she wants in a husband but she completely loves him as a servant.

As far as Dave and Amber, I am still on team Dave.  Ambers voice and insecurities would push me over the edge.  Her body language on the TH and unfiltered really speak volumes

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1 hour ago, humbleopinion said:

Well, T/M have managed to make themselves among the most loathsome of the US MAFS couples...

Which couple do you think were worse or are they winner, winner chicken dinner?.....

T&M are the 'winner' for me. Even a womanizing hubby would be (marginally) better than raging, money/fame-motivated Tristan --and even a neurotic woman obsessed with dying her hair blonde 'no matter what' is better than a woman with a felony warrant hanging over her head, always hiding in hubby's armpit.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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19 minutes ago, Lusterleaf said:

I think T/M are the worst followed by David and Ashley.

LOLOL 

?  But...but...they were and still are in luff...!  :D 

I'm voting for Dave and Burnt Umber.  The treatment of Paisley has made me truly dislike them with the intensity of a thousand suns.  Another couple who deserve each other.  I'ma have to pray about it before I give my final answer, tho.  ;) 

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1 hour ago, stuckin60s said:

We all know that Mia is a liar.  We all know stuff goes on behind cameras we aren't privy to.  We all know this is a bunch of BS and yet we are all hanging on

I think the insurance discussion was made, and Tristan was stupid enough to cancel his.  Mia admitted she gave him the number to call about the insurance.  The wrong number of course.  She even admitted that she didn't follow up.  

Tristan talks over Mia, and Mia has learned not to dispute what he says (because he gets furious). But Mia isn't completely compliantIf she thinks Tristan is wrong, she'll silently do it her way.

 

Quote

the big fight was a bunch of things OR he had had enough.  He told her that if she didn't want to go to Houston she didn't have to go, but he didn't want her in that apartment while he was not there, she must have said ok.  Of course she kept her old place and didn't move out.

I definitely disagree that "she must've said "OK". Mia probably said nothing at all, and/or never had a chance to say anything because Tristan did all the talking.

They do have the dynamic for a future wife-battering situation, if they stayed married!

 

Quote

Disaster Cal stating they had a strong foundation must have forgotten their foundation was spent in jail and the airport.

These "experts" are such a joke!  ...Too bad it's not funny. They're playing "Create That Drama" with real people's lives.

 

Quote

I am still on team Dave. 

...and I'm definitely not. But I do think Dave will be far more successful finding 'wifey' candidates in the future, than Amber will be in finding a baby-daddy hubby.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
missing response!
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IIRC, early on in this ep Tristan asked Mia what her boss’ reaction was to her announcement she was moving to Houston and Mia said her boss was excited for her.  

The thing that annoys me about Tristan and Mia is the same thing that annoys me about Amber and David - the experts are putting 90% of the relationship responsibility on just one of them.  Tristan and David are constantly being told by the experts to be more sensitive to their partner and to tip toe around their fear of raised voices/stares and insecurities.  The experts need to tell Mia and Amber to work on their behavior, too.

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53 minutes ago, Booger666 said:

IIRC, early on in this ep Tristan asked Mia what her boss’ reaction was to her announcement she was moving to Houston and Mia said her boss was excited for her.  

I guess that conversation must have taken place while I was on the phone for a bit --I would have remembered that.

 

Quote

The thing that annoys me about Tristan and Mia is the same thing that annoys me about Amber and David - the experts are putting 90% of the relationship responsibility on just one of them.  Tristan and David are constantly being told by the experts to be more sensitive to their partner and to tip toe around their fear of raised voices/stares and insecurities.  The experts need to tell Mia and Amber to work on their behavior, too.

With respect to Mia --I completely agree!!  While there's nothing Mia can do to change her past felonious crazies, if Mia were going to stay married to Tristan she would have to learn to argue assertively with Tristan, rather than passive/aggressively doing whatever she was going to do, anyway

Amber, on the other hand, has been counselled by the "experts" on quite a lot of things: the hair issue, self-affirmation, and (especially) taking a long pause to think about it before reacting, when she thinks Dave is saying something critical of her.

And Amber has actually "gotten better" --at least at holding her tongue (which probably helps to explain the extreme awkwardness of most of their conversations recently).

[Not that anything Amber tries to do matters, of course... Dave is dumping her on Decision Day, anyway.

Edited by Crazy Bird Lady
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