S07.E11: State of the Union

[2727]

It's been obvious from the casting special that Danielle is a self-contained person who's not bubbly and outgoing. Her behavior with Bobby has been consistent with that but I do hope she's able to be more expressive in private since Bobby has stated his desire for it. I personally don't think he's doing too much around the house; perhaps he cleans the most because he's bothered by it the most. He definitely likes things a certain way but isn't judgmental and cold about it the way Dave is.

I wonder how Danielle would have handled being matched with Dave since they're both pragmatic and emotionally reserved. Bobby mostly seems dazzled by Danielle being "smoking hot" and willing to have sex, so his needs are few.

[RocketGirl]

3 hours ago, qtpye said:

I think they said she is a senior title analyst.

She wants a medal for keeping that job while enduring all of this manufactured drama.

17 hours ago, Straycat80 said:

Why is Dr. Pepper wanting Danielle and Bobby to do the tantric sex thing but not the other two couples? Weirdo. 

She can't relate to how genuine their relationship is and takes sick pleasure in trying to scandalize them.

[JapMo]

33 minutes ago, 2727 said:

I wonder how Danielle would have handled being matched with Dave since they're both pragmatic and emotionally reserved. Bobby mostly seems dazzled by Danielle being "smoking hot" and willing to have sex, so his needs are few.

Dave & Danielle probably would be at a better place right now than Dave & Amber, IMO, but there wouldn't be any fireworks.  Danielle and Bobby have fireworks.  And I'm not just talking physically. 

[gonecrackers]

Dogs, & especially pups, with diarrhea need to be cleaned after nearly every incident because even in contained spaces they tend to get filthy. Been there done that & it's draining, but there are treatments.

Bobby is being supportive taking on Danielle's baby - the fostering. He's basically doing all the grunt work, even cleaning diarrhea in the middle of the night while Danielle rests comfortably for her long commute the next day. I hope Bobby is well rested enough that he can function well at his job & get all the other chores done as well.

Bobby needs physical & verbal validation of her caring - intimacy besides sex. While Danielle says she's trying, I understand how difficult it can be to meet those needs when it's not your thing. But the dynamic could lead to a crash & burn for Bobby (maybe the yelling at the dog scene is end of the rope for him, if it's coming).

Danielle seems to love being taken care of, her dogs being taken care of, & the constant admiration of her husband gives her what she needs, unless it ends up being nice, but not exactly 'true love' for her. If that's the case she's more guarded & able to detach easier should things not work out, & Bobby may have another type of crash & burn happen.

Hopefully it's all manufactured drama for the show, but thought I'd bite on a bit of speculating.

[EctoGammat]

Quote

50 minutes ago, RocketGirl said:

She wants a medal for keeping that job while enduring all of this manufactured drama

 

Hah, I noticed that one too.

[Lusterleaf]

Is it just me, or did Danielle's eyebrows seem more painted on than ever in this last episode? I can't believe she thinks that looks good. She should leave them natural. And Amber the same for her hair- she should go back to being brunette.

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, PityFree said:

 Does Amber want to have kids because she actually wants to be a mom or does she think it’s just another thing she has to check off the list in life?  She does not strike me as very maternal person.

I came late (thanks to gallbladder removal yesterday) but this is pretty much what I was going to post.  Amber doesn't strike me as the mother type.  She tried to dig her way out of her  comment that she wishes she could fast forward to when the kids are 5 years old, but that's the kind of stuff non-parental people say, both men and women, so she doesn't convince me.  Amber is once again trying really hard to sabotage this relationship, especially judging from the previews for the next episode.  She is MADDENING.

[bichonblitz]

I'm losing patience with Danielle. Yeah, yeah, yeah she has a long commute. Does she give Bobby a rest on the weekends and take over pooper scooping for him? She's taking advantage. A whole lot of taking and not much giving. 

I don't even get why Bobby is on the show. He is young, adorable, responsible, has a good job and is a nice guy. Surely there are many cute girls in Dallas that would love to date him. He may have to weed through them to find the right one but isn't that what dating is all about? 

[Yeah No]

17 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Absolutely YES.  Marriage is not for her.  The bumps of a marriage didn’t even begin and already she’s stressed over menial things.  She’ll never make it through with anyone.

Amber needs a touchy-feely, reassuring type of guy, not a cold, all in his head automaton.

[gonecrackers]

Just how long is Danielle's painfully long commute?

[Jeanne222]

LOl I love this season.  There's so much to bitch about.  Now take Dave and Amber.  OMG which expert paired these two?  Dave is like a big pussy cat just sitting and waiting for Amber to mutter one of her insecurities and he strikes then goes back into his pose to watch the Amber fall out.  He loves it.  Sex must be really good for these two.

Danielle and Bobby.  I feel so darn bad for him.  Why oh why does she keep rescuing dogs she can't take care of?  A dog with diarrea that often needs to see a vet so she's doing that pup no favor and poor Bobby.  This is not HIS dream.

Tristan and Mia.  There is something brewing there and it's not on her phone.  I just feel like he's going to get his heart broken again.  He must have a lot of money for her to stay around anyway.  They make a great couple but darn I smell trouble.

[PityFree]

53 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

Just how long is Danielle's painfully long commute?

 Three hours round-trip.

[Empress1]

14 minutes ago, PityFree said:

 Three hours round-trip.

50 miles each way. I want to cry just thinking about it. I hope she has a fuel-efficient car.

[SnarkEnthusiast]

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

Just how long is Danielle's painfully long commute?

She stated that it was three hours, which suggests an hour and a half on either side.

1 hour ago, gonecrackers said:

Bobby is being supportive taking on Danielle's baby - the fostering. He's basically doing all the grunt work, even cleaning diarrhea in the middle of the night while Danielle rests comfortably for her long commute the next day. I hope Bobby is well rested enough that he can function well at his job & get all the other chores done as well.

Bobby needs physical & verbal validation of her caring - intimacy besides sex. While Danielle says she's trying, I understand how difficult it can be to meet those needs when it's not your thing. But the dynamic could lead to a crash & burn for Bobby (maybe the yelling at the dog scene is end of the rope for him, if it's coming).

Danielle seems to love being taken care of, her dogs being taken care of, & the constant admiration of her husband gives her what she needs, unless it ends up being nice, but not exactly 'true love' for her. If that's the case she's more guarded & able to detach easier should things not work out, & Bobby may have another type of crash & burn happen.

Hopefully it's all manufactured drama for the show, but thought I'd bite on a bit of speculating.

This is my issue with Danielle! In its simplest form, the most innocuous explanation is that she's just not very emotive, but Bobby is super emotive, so their love languages don't match up. Eventually, Bobby is going to find her withholding and Danielle is going to find him exhausting. Trust me, as the over emotive, very gushy person in relationships it's a struggle that I know well LOL. I don't think she's maliciously cold or detached like we've seen with some past wives, but there's just no there there. Like Unethical Rachel said, he pours out his feelings for her in really exuberant declarations of love and commitment and she just blinks at him. It's weird, because I don't necessarily see her as not into him and it's not like he's some dimwitted pool boy (or poo boy, heh) that she seduced into being her live-in servant. Frankly, I think all of her exes have just been incompetent or unemotional and so she just never had to learn to do emotional labor in relationships or take someone else's feelings into account, which is looking more and more like an intentional choice on her part maybe subconsciously because she didn't want the stress or the blame for actually hurting the other person. It sounds like she just mothers them until she gets bored with the sex, probably delivers a stock monologue about being fed up with doing everything and being overwhelmed with fostering, and then moves on. With Bobby, she seems so shocked that she's able to please someone with merely existing that she's coasting on her usual level of communication, only this time, he is actually doing everything and is going to burn out. The puppy diarrhea argument is overblown in a weak attempt to bring out some drama, but Bobby is eventually going to emotionally starve from Danielle's total lack of validation and his earnest 24/7 attempts to please her and interpret her silence as rejection or lack of interest. It's definitely a self-created problem on Danielle's part and it's not even that much of a problem. It's not as though Bobby is making shrines to her or desperately professing his love every day like some creepy stalker. He's just genuinely excited about his feelings for her and their future together. I would love for anyone to be not only truly giddy about my presence in their life, but to constantly reaffirm their joy in super affectionate ways and his cute little declarations? He's adorable. You guys already know that I'm swooning over Bobby so I don't have much sympathy for Danielle. But again, I will say that I think she's so thrilled by finally having a caretaker that she forgets that he's also her husband with emotional needs beyond sex. Her weird comments about her parents not being affectionate suggests she has overall issues with intimacy and probably interprets any show of affection as clinginess that she must retreat from. 

Edited September 12, 2018 by SnarkEnthusiast

[StatisticalOutlier]

10 hours ago, Waterlilly said:

Why didn’t Amber have any clean socks if she does her own laundry?  Who exactly was she mad enough at to throw a temper tantrum? 

Probably herself.  I have meltdowns like that occasionally, so I get it.  (But since that's my only flaw, it's tolerable.)

 

1 hour ago, Lusterleaf said:

Is it just me, or did Danielle's eyebrows seem more painted on than ever in this last episode?

This is the first time I've actually noticed them, even though everybody's always talking about them.  So...maybe.

Can someone familiar with such things explain the eyelashes to me?  She has them "on" when she goes to bed.  Are they permanent?  Semi-permanent?  They're obviously fake, of some nature.  Do they never come off? 

In other news, nobody has commented on the looking-through-the-other's-phone exercise.  I find it interesting that the two least stable couples said they didn't want to, or didn't need to, while Bobby and Danielle did it.  Now, Danielle has said she's going to do everything the experts tell her to do, so maybe she was just being compliant.  Then again, she said she'd done it in the past, presumably without anyone's permission, so maybe this was right up her alley. 

But my takeaway was that it's a pretty quick way to find out more about your partner.  Like Bobby noted that she has a lot of apps--not sure what that indicates, but it's information of a sort.  And Danielle mentioned that he had a lot of pictures of the dogs on there.  I don't know...just seeing how someone organizes all the shit on a phone would be informational to me.

[humbleopinion]

Bobby had tried online dating...unsuccessfully....

The problem is he preferred younger women who weren’t ready to settle down, who still wanted to skip the light fantastic and he was more if a homebody using his money on a mortgage for his FW house.

So Danielle with her pockets inside out because she did Travel extensively was in a phase were she didn’t have or afford the wanderlust.

Her gypsy soul was on a break because it was 15K in the hole.

The timing was good for both and Bobby  and Danielle because he revoked his deal breaker on an audible from Dr. Pepper that his match be younger.

Bobby is the sweetheart this season.

No one wants to see his heart to be ripped out of his chest and stomped on.

Edited September 12, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Gem 10]

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

I came late (thanks to gallbladder removal yesterday) but this is pretty much what I was going to post.  Amber doesn't strike me as the mother type.  She tried to dig her way out of her  comment that she wishes she could fast forward to when the kids are 5 years old, but that's the kind of stuff non-parental people say, both men and women, so she doesn't convince me.  Amber is once again trying really hard to sabotage this relationship, especially judging from the previews for the next episode.  She is MADDENING.

Laproscopic?  You sound pretty good.

[gonecrackers]

I'm not too fazed by having to drive a ways for most anything. That is a long way daily though & was wondering what kind of software sales she does. If she's able to do a home office & drive to clients that could be an option down the line. Or is she in a corporate office, or a store front... They have to decide if it's worth her drive or if she should look for a new position. They showed her leaving once in what I felt didn't even look like business casual, more like just casual, but that was probably a re-enactment leaving with her neatly packed lunch from Bobby.

Or maybe she's enjoying the long drive - far away from the diarrhea.

[Straycat80]

7 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Uh, I do believe there is something else he can do. Which I'm sure he will as soon as soon as the check clears.

Oh I’m sure he will! He outta there! 

[Marsh]

4 hours ago, Lusterleaf said:

Is it just me, or did Danielle's eyebrows seem more painted on than ever in this last episode? I can't believe she thinks that looks good. She should leave them natural.

It's part of her plan.  She's looking for an endorsement deal with Sharpie.

[qtpye]

4 minutes ago, Marsh said:

It's part of her plan.  She's looking for an endorsement deal with Sharpie.

Maybe Bobby digs the Uncle Leo from Seinfeld look on women.

[Jax7917]

I'm only a few minutes into the episode , but I'm getting tired of hearing every single episode about how bobby does everything around the house because Danielle has a 3 hour round trip commute .. I get that the commute is very tiring because mine is 3 hours round trip as well 5 days a week .. but she  makes it an excuse for everyyyything. It's nice that she wants to foster all these dogs , but then take some responsibility for them . It seems like she doesn't do anything around the house and just relies on bobby for everything ( which , good for her .. but it's annoying to keep hearing .) 

amber and Dave will never last . They have 0 chemistry . 

[humbleopinion]

3 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Bobby had tried online dating...unsuccessfully....

The problem is he preferred younger women who weren’t ready to settle down, who still wanted to trip the light fantastic and he was more if a homebody using his money on a mortgage for his FW house.

So Danielle with her pockets inside out because she did Travel extensively was in a phase were she didn’t have or afford the wanderlust.

Her gypsy soul was on a break because it was 15K in the hole.

The timing was good for both and Bobby  and Danielle because he revoked his deal breaker on an audible from Dr. Pepper that his match be younger.

Bobby is the sweetheart this season.

No one wants to see his heart to be ripped out of his chest and stomped on.

[Lily247]

5 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I came late (thanks to gallbladder removal yesterday) but this is pretty much what I was going to post.  Amber doesn't strike me as the mother type.  She tried to dig her way out of her  comment that she wishes she could fast forward to when the kids are 5 years old, but that's the kind of stuff non-parental people say, both men and women, so she doesn't convince me.  Amber is once again trying really hard to sabotage this relationship, especially judging from the previews for the next episode.  She is MADDENING.

Ugh, did she say that, REALLY ? Way to make Dave fall in love even more.... doesnt cook, doesnt clean, doesnt do anything for her husband, not interested in new friends, only interested in having a baby but not the actual baby years. The problem is, I want to like Amber, because she seems approachable. I think she would be a fun friend to have but a lousy spouse unless she decides to grow. She also gets in her own way a lot - steering conversations to topics that happen to be her insecurities, then starting a fight over it. I liked her more in mexico. 

[Yeah No]

On 9/11/2018 at 9:50 PM, gonecrackers said:

Bobby is headed for some serious burn out someday.

Yeah, like next week!

4 hours ago, Gem 10 said:

Laproscopic?  You sound pretty good.

Yes.  Other than some pain at the incision sites, I'm doing pretty well, thanks!

[ECM1231]

On ‎9‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 10:05 PM, gonecrackers said:

Poor Bobby - no "I love you" back...  maybe he should wake her for the next diarrhea clean up.

Danielle really is so very closed off and has trouble expressing her emotions.  I'm glad she explained in her TH that she came from a family that never bandied the words "I love you" about and there was not much physical affection growing up. I feel bad that she had such aloof parents.  I guess it is just going to take time for her to be more comfortable expressing both physical affection and verbalizing her love for Bobby.  Bobby is a saint, though.  I don't know too many husbands who would be doing poop duty 4x or more daily. Plus, he cooks, he cleans. He is a prince. I am waiting for the shoe to drop.

At the restaurant I chuckled when Dave said to Bobby "Make up an issue so we all feel better."  Each couple was expressing some of the hurdles/difficulties of marriage and Bobby was like 'nope, it's all sunshine and rainbows.'  

[gonecrackers]

9 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

At the restaurant I chuckled when Dave said to Bobby "Make up an issue so we all feel better."  Each couple was expressing some of the hurdles/difficulties of marriage and Bobby was like 'nope, it's all sunshine and rainbows.'  

Even if he thinks it is now it won't always be... if they stay together sooner or later life will deal them a blow they'll have to work through together, & will both need to be communicating well when that happens.

36 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Yes.  Other than some pain at the incision sites, I'm doing pretty well,

Glad to hear all is well.

[ECM1231]

14 hours ago, Empress1 said:

 

Danielle's commute is a fucking nightmare. I'd legit have to find a new job. And Bobby is a lot nicer about these sleepless nights cleaning up dog shit than I would be. As has been said, it's Danielle's hobby but it seems to be inconveniencing Bobby the most. Did I hear they have FOUR dogs right now? I guess they're fostering two?

I know Danielle has said before that she commutes 1 1/2 hours each way to her job but last night she specifically said that it is a 50 mile commute each way.  My son lives in Austin. When my hubs and I visited for the first time we were shocked that the speed limit was 80 mph. NYC parkways have a speed limit of 50 mph.  So unless Dallas/Fort Worth traffic is pretty awful, I'm not sure why it takes her 90 minutes to travel 50 miles.  If traffic is as bad in Dallas as it is the tristate NY area, then I can believe it.  

[LilaFowler]

5 minutes ago, ECM1231 said:

I know Danielle has said before that she commutes 1 1/2 hours each way to her job but last night she specifically said that it is a 50 mile commute each way.  My son lives in Austin. When my hubs and I visited for the first time we were shocked that the speed limit was 80 mph. NYC parkways have a speed limit of 50 mph.  So unless Dallas/Fort Worth traffic is pretty awful, I'm not sure why it takes her 90 minutes to travel 50 miles.  If traffic is as bad in Dallas as it is the tristate NY area, then I can believe it.  

The traffic must be horrendous. I watch Real Housewives of Dallas and one of the women (Stephanie) moved closer to her sons' school because even though the distance wasn't much from their old home, it took her an eternity to take them to school.

[Yeah No]

I agree with everyone about Amber and Danielle.  I'm late to the party so I won't repeat it, but I did say last week that Dave and Amber were thinking/feeling personality type opposites and not in a good way either.  Dave brings out all her deepest insecurities, making her look like a mess.  She is probably somewhere in between.  Amber's emotionality is making Dave even more robotic and Spock-like.  Everyone seems to see why Amber is single, but I see why Dave is still single even more.  What woman would want to be with a guy that's that in his head and unable to get out of it to be a warm human being?  I certainly wouldn't.  My husband is a thinking type (I'm feeling) but he has a warm side.  Dave lacks in that department.

No one mentioned the cooking class - Was it me?  I thought it was a little sexist because it was done to help the women learn more about cooking, as if that's expected of them by the show or the experts, or even the women themselves.  If it was the men that couldn't cook no one would suggest a cooking lesson.  Amber doesn't really want to cook or have babies, she is just trying to give Dave what she thinks he really wants deep down and hasn't revealed.  That's also why she died her hair blonde.  She freaked at the last minute before the show started and convinced herself that all men would rather be with a blonde whether they admit it or not.

I did love seeing Tre Wilcox from Top Chef, though!

I think Danielle is a cold person and very uncomfortable with her feelings and feelings in general.  And I totally agree that she's taking advantage of Bobby.  The way she prances around him tells me it's gone to her head and she's high on the power she has over him.  Bobby is acting pathetic, like he thinks the only way he can keep this ice goddess is if he does absolutely EVERYTHING he can to over-indulge her.  It's very immature behavior because no one can sustain that and it's bound to blow up one day when the person that's putting 200% (like Bobby) can't take it anymore.  The two of them refuse to step out of their little "romantic bubble" to address the issue rationally.  I know Bobby doesn't want to give up his house, but if he and Danielle are going to make it, they're going to have to make some decisions, like either keep the house and Danielle finds a closer job or they sell the house to be closer to Danielle's job.   To me this is as obvious as the nose on my face, but they just refuse to deal with it.  I think Danielle secretly loves it because she gets to have her man be her servant.  But once the bloom is off the rose, Bobby will no longer see it as an equitable trade off.  The sex can't be THAT good.  I don't even believe that Danielle is capable of letting her hair down that much more in private.   If she is that uptight and prudish on the screen, she is probably not that much better in private.  Bobby will realize that one day when he grows up and she will no longer be worth him being her house servant and picking up her dog poop.  I don't get it with this show, they always seem to pick people with problem pets, probably for the drama, what else?

[gonecrackers]

20 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

Everyone seems to see why Amber is single, but I see why Dave is still single even more.  What woman would want to be with a guy that's that in his head and unable to get out of it to be a warm human being?  I certainly wouldn't.  My husband is a thinking type (I'm feeling) but he has a warm side.  Dave lacks in that department.

I'm still into the theory there's more going on, like Dave may have issues with her past (gym guy etc.) so rather than address it he passive aggressively makes her feel less than, & she already being insecure gets worse, so it's become a toxic hamster wheel they keep running in circles around together.

They'll never get out of that wheel either. Judging from Unfiltered Amber is done & not happy about what went down. Dave is detached & analytical as always.

Dave being a pragmatic financial guy & Amber needing restorative hair treatments, I'll be a bit surprised if they don't grab the one year divorce announcement deal.

20 minutes ago, Yeah No said:

 I don't get it with this show, they always seem to pick people with problem pets, probably for the drama, what else?

In the dog's defense it's a foster & they often come with various issues the human is supposed to help with to make them more adoptable. If the pup has that much diarrhea I would hope a vet is involved.

Edited September 13, 2018 by gonecrackers

[humbleopinion]

Tantric coach: Blah, blah orgasmic,blah, blah

Bobby: I think of “it”...my happy place...

Don’t think he was referring to the clown with the red balloon...

[princelina]

12 hours ago, Claire Voyant said:

If those two are having a nice time with each other, and are obviously very private people, I can't understand why they were chosen to try to humiliate with a foolish sex therapy session on national television.  Gag me with a spoon and..."Thanks but, no thanks, I'll just stand here by the door and you can explain how all this is supposed to help a.n.y.t.h.i.n.g." 

Is this the first season you have watched?  :D hee hee

 

6 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Can someone familiar with such things explain the eyelashes to me?  She has them "on" when she goes to bed.  Are they permanent?  Semi-permanent?  They're obviously fake, of some nature.  Do they never come off? 

In other news, nobody has commented on the looking-through-the-other's-phone exercise.  I find it interesting that the two least stable couples said they didn't want to, or didn't need to, while Bobby and Danielle did it.  Now, Danielle has said she's going to do everything the experts tell her to do, so maybe she was just being compliant.  Then again, she said she'd done it in the past, presumably without anyone's permission, so maybe this was right up her alley. 

But my takeaway was that it's a pretty quick way to find out more about your partner.  Like Bobby noted that she has a lot of apps--not sure what that indicates, but it's information of a sort.  And Danielle mentioned that he had a lot of pictures of the dogs on there.  I don't know...just seeing how someone organizes all the shit on a phone would be informational to me.

You can get eyelash extensions which last about 3-4 weeks so if you want them to be "permanent" you have to go back once a month for touch-ups, much like maintaining your nails.  You can also do it yourself - for the best look you want the ones that come in little clusters of 2-3 lashes, and you can glue them on intermittently along your lash line, or just on the outer corners, etc. depending on the look you are going for.  If you do this they can last for a day or two, depending on how aggressively you wash your face :). So she could put them on in the morning, wear them all day and overnight to wake up in them, but that would mean she is reapplying on the side ;)

In other news - if I were in their shoes I would enjoy the phone exercise - not because I'm not trustworthy but I am nosey, and I think it would be good for starting conversations and getting to know someone (my spouse - ha!)

 

1 hour ago, Yeah No said:

No one mentioned the cooking class - Was it me?  I thought it was a little sexist because it was done to help the women learn more about cooking, as if that's expected of them by the show or the experts, or even the women themselves.  If it was the men that couldn't cook no one would suggest a cooking lesson.  Amber doesn't really want to cook or have babies, she is just trying to give Dave what she thinks he really wants deep down and hasn't revealed.  That's also why she died her hair blonde.  She freaked at the last minute before the show started and convinced herself that all men would rather be with a blonde whether they admit it or not.

I did love seeing Tre Wilcox from Top Chef, though!

I think Danielle is a cold person and very uncomfortable with her feelings and feelings in general.  And I totally agree that she's taking advantage of Bobby.  The way she prances around him tells me it's gone to her head and she's high on the power she has over him.  Bobby is acting pathetic, like he thinks the only way he can keep this ice goddess is if he does absolutely EVERYTHING he can to over-indulge her.  It's very immature behavior because no one can sustain that and it's bound to blow up one day when the person that's putting 200% (like Bobby) can't take it anymore.  The two of them refuse to step out of their little "romantic bubble" to address the issue rationally.  I know Bobby doesn't want to give up his house, but if he and Danielle are going to make it, they're going to have to make some decisions, like either keep the house and Danielle finds a closer job or they sell the house to be closer to Danielle's job.   To me this is as obvious as the nose on my face, but they just refuse to deal with it.  I think Danielle secretly loves it because she gets to have her man be her servant.  But once the bloom is off the rose, Bobby will no longer see it as an equitable trade off.  The sex can't be THAT good.  I don't even believe that Danielle is capable of letting her hair down that much more in private.   If she is that uptight and prudish on the screen, she is probably not that much better in private.  Bobby will realize that one day when he grows up and she will no longer be worth him being her house servant and picking up her dog poop.  I don't get it with this show, they always seem to pick people with problem pets, probably for the drama, what else?

I don't think they refuse to deal with it - at this point in "the experiment" I think anyone would be a fool to quit a job, sell a house, change a surname, or get pregnant.  (Or move to Houston, now that I think about it :). 

As far as the cooking class goes - I think it was okay because it has been a "thing" this season that none of the wives cook.  And cooking classes are fun things that people do.  It's not like you can get a social evening out of classes on taking out the garbage, doing laundry or cleaning dog poop.

I don't know how Bobby and Danielle ended up on this show, but to me they are just going through the motions for the cameras (excited to talk to Pepper, tantric sex class, "I love you") and I think they are enjoying being together and waiting this thing out.  As the great David Sedaris once said - "There's a reason regular people aren't on tv - they're boring."  If it were me I wouldn't be comfortable talking about my sex life, having fights, saying I love you, getting therapy from the "experts" either.  But of course I wouldn't be on tv in the first place :). I predict (hope for?) a normal, mundane happy life for them once the shit-show is over.

[ChiMama]

On 9/11/2018 at 9:40 PM, Booger666 said:

I don’t think Dave is a dick or a douche.  He seems very practical, even-keeled and mild.  He has no clue how to handle Amber and her insecurities so he says things he shouldn’t, but there isn’t any malice or bad intent to what he is saying.   Dave and Amber are so mismatched they are highlighting the worst in each other.  It’s very obvious how different they are and the “experts” should be ashamed of themselves for putting them through this.  They both seem to be trying, but it is such a struggle that it is exhausting and frustrating - for them and us.

And I think his comment about Amber never having dated someone she trusted being "concerning" is totally valid. That history reveals her to be either 1) mistrustful of everyone = paranoid, or 2) not too selective the quality of men in her relationships (like perhaps a series of bar/health club one-night stand pickups vs. real 'relationships' during which trust is built. I'm voting a combination of the two. Not sure why he'd be excited being with someone who will never trust you, just because. She's stressful to have around on many levels. He's outta there, and has been for several weeks already.

On 9/11/2018 at 10:44 PM, ChristmasJones said:

They pretended at the beginning of this series that Bobby and Danielle had a big spat about the dogs.  Does anyone remember that?

I remember it! I asked the same questions a few weeks back. Maybe it's featured on an upcoming "very special episode"? ;)

[humbleopinion]

Dog report:

The infamous diarrheragic puppy

The fourth unknown foster dog...the tipping point that burst the everything is perfect bubble in the Dodd household.

Adorable picture of Henry and Nellie on Bobby’s phone 

Edited September 13, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, ChiMama said:

And I think his comment about Amber never having dated someone she trusted being "concerning" is totally valid. That history reveals her to be either 1) mistrustful of everyone = paranoid, or 2) not too selective the quality of men in her relationships (like perhaps a series of bar/health club one-night stand pickups vs. real 'relationships' during which trust is built. I'm voting a combination of the two. Not sure why he'd be excited being with someone who will never trust you, just because. She's stressful to have around on many levels. He's outta there, and has been for several weeks already.

I find a lot "concerning" about Dave too.  Like he's already 37 and what's his excuse for not being paired up by this time and willing to go on a show like this to find someone?  Then when he does he acts clueless?  That doesn't exactly scream "I'm ready for marriage" either.  He strikes me as the kind of guy that's way too picky and frankly more than a little commitment-phobic.  He should look in the mirror before he throws stones at Amber.  I'd be insecure too if I were paired with him.  Her saying she trusted him blew me away.  I don't believe she trusts him, but didn't want to admit that.  I don't trust him either.  What is he hiding?  The only reason we know Amber's flaws is because she tends to wear them on her sleeve, but usually in my experience it's the people that don't do that that have even more flaws, weaknesses and even skeletons in their closets.  And then they get judge-y about everyone else.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, princelina said:

I don't think they refuse to deal with it - at this point in "the experiment" I think anyone would be a fool to quit a job, sell a house, change a surname, or get pregnant.  (Or move to Houston, now that I think about it :). 

I didn't mean that Bobby and Danielle should move or make other arrangements now, but that they should at least be talking about the future, as in after the 8 weeks are up.  Perhaps they are and the show isn't showing us those conversations because they're trying to amp up the drama.  After all, the show is making it look like Danielle didn't say "I love you" back to Bobby.  That may have been edited out.  The show keeps trying to insinuate drama between them but it's not convincing.  Like what about those "preview" clips where they make it look like Bobby is having a meltdown over doing all the chores?  Then when we watch the episode, that never happens.  They've done this for 2 weeks or more with them already.  When are we going to see that footage in context?  This show is such BS, really.

[humbleopinion]

Total BS...but hard to quit...

To be  “Bobby’ed” means to be unconditionally cared for and catered to...lots of cream in your coffee...coming right up...

If you have been “Danielle’d” then you have uncertainty where you stand in your relationship, your proclamations of love are met with crickets and blank stares with intermittent lashed blinks

If you have been “Mia’ed” then you live a cash life since your credit cards have been frozen by the fraud squad and you constantly look over your shoulder with that creepy crawly feeling of being watched.

”Tristan’ed” means you have a perpetual wet spittle spot on the top of your head from his delivered from above kisses. Ick.

”Ambered” refers to be so totally sexed up, sexed down and sexed all around that you don’t give a damn that she pulls the fire alarm for every little blip in life.

“Dave’d” is having your confidence  and sanity eroded by his subversive passive aggressive Jedi mind games.

Edited September 13, 2018 by humbleopinion

[humbleopinion]

The relationship that caused my Spock heart to spasm is Bobby, Dave and Tristan.

The guys’ gentle treatment of each other plucked those heart strings...damn them.

Edited September 13, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Palomar]

On ‎9‎/‎11‎/‎2018 at 7:40 PM, Booger666 said:

I don’t think Dave is a dick or a douche.  He seems very practical, even-keeled and mild.  He has no clue how to handle Amber and her insecurities so he says things he shouldn’t, but there isn’t any malice or bad intent to what he is saying.   Dave and Amber are so mismatched they are highlighting the worst in each other.  It’s very obvious how different they are and the “experts” should be ashamed of themselves for putting them through this.  They both seem to be trying, but it is such a struggle that it is exhausting and frustrating - for them and us.

 

I agree.  Don't forget that the producers are constantly asking Dave to comment on Amber and what is he going to say after her continuous freak-outs about every little thing when it is on camera for all to see.  It isn't unreasonable for his vision of marriage....to take a couple of trips before having kids.  If Amber is freaking out about everything now, wait until she has a crying baby in the middle of the night. I'm sure she will say that Dave doesn't think she is a good mother. That is the next thing after her thinking she isn't a good enough wife. She really needs to get help with her insecurities.  Sure Dave could handle it better but let's get real, most guys could not handle it which is probably why she hasn't had a long term relationship. She is sabotaging the relationship.

[JapMo]

9 hours ago, princelina said:

I don't know how Bobby and Danielle ended up on this show, but to me they are just going through the motions for the cameras (excited to talk to Pepper, tantric sex class, "I love you") and I think they are enjoying being together and waiting this thing out.  As the great David Sedaris once said - "There's a reason regular people aren't on tv - they're boring."  If it were me I wouldn't be comfortable talking about my sex life, having fights, saying I love you, getting therapy from the "experts" either.  But of course I wouldn't be on tv in the first place :). I predict (hope for?) a normal, mundane happy life for them once the shit-show is over.

I totally agree.  It was Dr. Pepper that planted the idea that Danielle is doing nothing and Bobby is doing everything.  And yet Bobby very firmly said he didn't feel put-upon and he liked doing stuff for Danielle.  I don't think she is a cold person...she's just reserved.  It's like the show has all this drama...more than enough coming from Amber alone, and then throw Mia in the mix with the two guys following...but they can't just show a happy couple, they have to try to drive a wedge in the audience's mind.  I've been watching this show since the beginning.  They kind of remind me of Jason & Courtney in that they took to each other right away and didn't really have any major problems.  I don't mind watching that.  It's better than being blindsided by the couple I was rooting for last season...Mollie & Jonathan.  Boy, she really had me fooled.

[Yeah No]

4 hours ago, humbleopinion said:

Total BS...but hard to quit...

To be  “Bobby’ed” means to be unconditionally cared for and catered to...lots of cream in your coffee...coming right up...

 

Ain't that the truth re: the BS being hard to quit!

I try to imagine myself in a relationship with each of the guys.  Even at Danielle's age I would be telling Bobby to chill and not go that overboard trying to please me.  I don't know, I wouldn't trust that because no one can sustain that level of doting on someone forever, plus it sends up a yellow flag of some possible issues on his side, like feeling inadequate and not worthy of her unless he goes to the nth degree.  And when it inevitably slows down, then what?  If the entire relationship has been built around Bobby going overboard serving Danielle, and Danielle acting like a little princess who's let it go to her head, that's pretty unbalanced.  Once that simmers down or Bobby starts to complain here and there, their dynamic might not be so rosy.  I'm not sure yet whether Danielle likes Bobby for Bobby or because of the way he spoils her.  I would like to see her tell him that he doesn't have to try so hard, and that she will help with the dogs and some things around the house.  If I were taking in "foster dogs" I wouldn't feel right letting my new husband that I just met clean up their crap 24/7 even if I commuted 3 hours a day.  I'd be just as against that if she were the man and Bobby were the woman in the relationship.  

12 minutes ago, JapMo said:

I totally agree.  It was Dr. Pepper that planted the idea that Danielle is doing nothing and Bobby is doing everything.  And yet Bobby very firmly said he didn't feel put-upon and he liked doing stuff for Danielle.  I don't think she is a cold person...she's just reserved. 

I think she is reserved and a little bit cold, but that's me.  Bobby saying he doesn't mind it doesn't excuse Danielle from eating it up.  He's going way too far with it and she is taking advantage of him in my opiniobn.  Like I said above, I'd feel the same way if the man was the one with the dogs and the 3 hour commute and Bobby was the woman.  I doubt Bobby can sustain that level of servitude for the long haul.  He is doing it to turn the statue into a real woman.  He thinks if he throws enough sacrifices on her altar, she won't dump him.  It's kind of pathetic in my opinion, and speaks to a level of immaturity and lack of realism.

Edited September 13, 2018 by Yeah No

[suzeecat]

11 hours ago, ECM1231 said:

I know Danielle has said before that she commutes 1 1/2 hours each way to her job but last night she specifically said that it is a 50 mile commute each way.  My son lives in Austin. When my hubs and I visited for the first time we were shocked that the speed limit was 80 mph. NYC parkways have a speed limit of 50 mph.  So unless Dallas/Fort Worth traffic is pretty awful, I'm not sure why it takes her 90 minutes to travel 50 miles.  If traffic is as bad in Dallas as it is the tristate NY area, then I can believe it.  

 

11 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

The traffic must be horrendous. I watch Real Housewives of Dallas and one of the women (Stephanie) moved closer to her sons' school because even though the distance wasn't much from their old home, it took her an eternity to take them to school.

I don't know Dallas, but if it is anything like my commute (metro Detroit), it can typically take 45-60 minutes just to drive 15 miles.  It's horrible and extremely stressful.  When I get home, I don't want to leave again until it's time to go back to work the next day.  I would take a smooth, straight shot of 50-60 miles in the country any day over 15 miles of city traffic. 

That said, Danielle needs to cut back on the fostering to what SHE is capable of handling.  What did she do before she met Bobby?  I hope she steps it up more in that regard, before Bobby begins to feel used and abused. 

I also want to add my perspective on her standoffishness.  I too was raised with little to no physical shows of affection.  It's not that I don't like or want it, it's just that it doesn't come natural to me.  Some people just naturally hug when they greet a friend or family member.  I have to consciously think about doing it and make that effort.  It's just not my default, but I have nothing against it. 

Edited September 13, 2018 by suzeecat
additional comment

[Palomar]

11 hours ago, Yeah No said:

No one mentioned the cooking class - Was it me?  I thought it was a little sexist because it was done to help the women learn more about cooking, as if that's expected of them by the show or the experts, or even the women themselves.  If it was the men that couldn't cook no one would suggest a cooking lesson.  Amber doesn't really want to cook or have babies, she is just trying to give Dave what she thinks he really wants deep down and hasn't revealed.  That's also why she died her hair blonde.  She freaked at the last minute before the show started and convinced herself that all men would rather be with a blonde whether they admit it or not.

 

Perhaps but then again I can't imagine anyone who plans on being a parent not being able to cook.  Or, anyone period....at least enough to get by without being dependent on others.

[humbleopinion]

Puppy diarrhea is sometimes puppy diarrhea and Bobby had a literal shit storm the night before Dr. Pepper’s visit.....

Maybe the MAFS producers conspired with the foster program to offer the poo leaky pup to the Dodds.....to bring Bobby to his knees....

Edited September 13, 2018 by humbleopinion

[Lusterleaf]

I feel like they are using Danielle's commute as an excuse for Bobby doing everything and waking up in the middle of the night multiple times to clean up dog poop. I can understand if he wants to cook her dinner so she doesn't have to worry about that when she gets home from work, but she should be the one waking up in the middle of the night since it is her choice to foster multiple dogs.

[Marsh]

12 hours ago, Yeah No said:

No one mentioned the cooking class - Was it me?  I thought it was a little sexist because it was done to help the women learn more about cooking, as if that's expected of them by the show or the experts, or even the women themselves.  If it was the men that couldn't cook no one would suggest a cooking lesson.  

I think you're looking waaaay too far into this.  If it was the other way around a cooking lesson could still be suggested.  A lot of couples take a cooking lesson because it's a fun, interactive dinner date.  Interactive dates build chemistry.

As Danielle once stated she doesn't enjoy cooking and probably won't do it much.  And lobster boxers is OK with that.  No one is forcing anyone to be a stay at home mom and cook.

As a guy I rolled my eyes at your comment, and I'd rather save the eye rolling for Tuesday nights haha.  It was just supposed to be a cooking lesson with a "light lunch"......

Edited September 13, 2018 by Marsh
Grammar

[gonecrackers]

The cooking class was another excuse to get the couples together, display Amber's insecurities, & get them chatting over charred chicken (it was probably very tasty...).

Edited September 13, 2018 by gonecrackers

[seacliffsal]

Amber just exhausts me, and I only have to "see" her for about a total of 20 minutes a week.  And it's rich that she was upset over not having any socks when she was the one who volunteered to do the laundry.  I also don't think she was making a joke when she said she was excited about when a baby would turn 5.  Many posters have wondered why she just didn't use a sperm bank if she wants a baby so much.  After this episode I realized that she wants to have a husband when she has a baby so that there's somebody there who will actually take care of the baby.  Amber has been very clear that she doesn't want to have to go out of her way for anyone, doesn't want any additional responsibilities, and wants to spend HER money how she chooses.  Dave is no prize either, but he has to continually walk on egg shells around Amber, and even though the "expert" Dr. Pepper told him to take time and not react to Amber, that's pretty rich "advice" as it denies one the opportunity to respond while allowing the other person to continue over-reacting.  I have a couple of friends who over-react emotionally to everything and it is SO exhausting and I find myself having to really watch my words at times.  I can not imagine living with an Amber having to continually edit/cut my responses so as not to set that person off even more.  It's a ton of additional stress that Dave has to deal with as the "experts" want him to keep his emotions and responses bottled up in order to not trigger Amber.  

I understand that Danielle believes that she is saving lives by fostering puppies (she even stated that the one she just brought home was scheduled to be put down that very day), but she has to be realistic in her charitable efforts.  If she isn't able to take care of the fosters, then maybe she can help in other ways.  Pushing it off onto Bobby is not a realistic option and when he reaches his breaking point, it will be heartbreaking for us, the viewers.

Tristan and Mia are so closed off from each other.  They are both virtually covered from head to toe whenever they are together, and Mia never really looks at him.  I'm hoping that there is going to be another huge scandal that will be revealed.  Very interesting that in just over a month Tristan's Houseton businesses were suffering huge losses.  He should have just left the show and tended to his businesses.

[Nancybeth]

If you've just married a stranger, are living in a new location that has significantly increased your commute and already have two dogs and a foster, maybe you should take a pass on bringing ANOTHER foster into the mix?  I think its great that Danielle volunteers her time and energies to fostering but it seems like she should have just said, "This isn't the right time."