S07.E09: Fantasies and Firsts

[EmZeeGee]

I think my theory from weeks ago regarding Amber's style has been increasingly validated as the series has continued. Her style is stuck in the early-00s because that's when she felt the most beautiful and most secure. Dave reacting adversely to her looks is a powerful slight precisely because she is stuck at what she believes to be her best. That said, I still believe Dave to be a drip who only wanted to get married because that's what all his friends in his circle have done and he was shit out of luck doing it on his own.

Mia's sister is way too far in Tristan and Mia's marital business for my liking. I would have had to check her. The discussion about where we live or will live or will do has nothing to do with you and everything to do with myself and Mia, we were informing you, not inviting you to give your opinion, we weren't workshopping this. How dare you get huffy with me about a discussion of our business. You have no say so.

That really irked me, can you tell? Add to that Mia's history and the thought of someone coming at me sends me over. 

[Racj82]

4 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Amber may be annoyingly insecure, but Dave is a fucking buzz kill.

Do you not like Dave? I haven't been able to tell.

I'm totally sure Dave could say much at this point that wouldn't make Amber feel insecure. But, that's coming from her. Not to say that Dave is handling everything great. Of course he is clearly not. But, I see a lot of reaching to find fault with so many things Dave says. Stop looking for trouble. Laugh things off just once. Dave is a perceived buzzkill but damn can Amber kill any joy out of a situation.

Mia never looked more happy and genuine than when she was eating a donut.

Like most things with this show, I see the Tristan and Mia thing on both sides. This whole move thing happening so close to the wedding is dicey. Probably shouldn't have entered into this show at this present time. 

But...that doesn't negate the fact that they were trying to have a nice get together and agreed to keep things light and now he's ambushed. He barely knows the family and now they have to battle at the table. It's not about whether moving is right or wrong. Communication is key and Mia stepped all over that.

Even Bobby/Danielle sexy time is a snooze. I'm happy for them. They also tend to make me sleepy. 

[Lily247]

I dont think that danielle is a very pleasant person, just saying. She certainly doesnt have to dish to the other girls about her marriage, but she just seems to have a bit of an attitude. She seems like the type who you would have a lot of awkward silences with during a xonversation. .I laughed to myself when she said that Bobby has done wo much for her, so she is going to put on a hat for him. 

[AussieBabe]

I'm still amazed that Amber managed to make it on this show. I couldn't be around someone so negative and who can spin everything into a negative light. She had just said that her hair was breaking/thinning likely due to the processing, and Dave suggested that she stop colouring it if that was the case. What she heard was, "Go back to being brunette because that's what I'm attracted to." What got me was watching Unfiltered with Dr. Jessica, and she weighed in on the 7.5 debacle. She knew that Amber being rated anything less than 10 was going to cause a problem. I'm sorry but that doesn't strike me as someone who is an ideal match. Not everything will be perfect and not everything you do will be perfect or loved by your spouse. Amber needs someone who doesn't mind constantly telling her that she's the prettiest or the most beautiful or the perfect wife. That constant validation is tiresome. Dave isn't that great, but she's exhausting. Amber, your hair is dry, stiff, and apparently damaged. Maybe you need to give your natural hair a break and get Russian lengths or microlinks or any type of extensions to achieve that look. I'm sure that investment is more cost effective than having to re-dye your dark roots every few weeks. It's certainly less damaging. 

The other thing is there was a hint of a mean girl. It's outrageous that they aren't fighting? What? Girl, quit trying to police someone else's marriage. Maybe Danielle isn't having all those issues because she's secure in herself and not taking everything Bobby says to a negative place. I don't know if it was jealousy or what. They're three weeks in. They shouldn't be having knock down drag out fights and going to bed mad. Not all couples fight. Some people choose healthy ways to discuss issues without arguing. My husband and I don't argue because I argue with no soul walking this earth. If I'm yelling, I'm not hearing anything that's being said, so we can discuss anything and agree to disagree if necessary but fighting? Oh no. He learned early in our relationship that raising his voice even an octave would prompt me to cross my legs, start filing my nails, and look at him like he was stupid. Argue with yourself. Eventually, you'll get tired of getting no response. 

[LennieBriscoe]

About Danielle and that hat---

I'm thinking Bobby might have had in mind something along the way Tom Jones means it:

[Empress1]

8 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Dave essentially telling Amber that he thinks that she stinks was incredible. Just try to get through the experiment, Amber, then divorce this guy. He does not care about your feelings whatsoever.

I didn't get that from the comment at all. He said "You smell really good and it's actually almost overpowering." I think it was a compliment.  The problem is that Amber is so insecure that she wills herself to hear the negative.

Same with her hair. SHE was the one that brought up that her hair was falling out/breaking off. That's a problem. If she has a hairdresser worth the license, her hairdresser would be like "We need to do something differently here." Dave heard "Yikes, my hair is falling out" but didn't get why she'd prioritize bleached, fried-ass hair over hair loss (which ... neither do I, TBH - it doesn't matter what color your hair is if you end up bald, plus, as has been said, including by me, her hair looks like shit anyway), so he tried to offer a solution. SHE said that the hair loss was due to coloring, so his line of thinking was "If the color is leading to an undesired outcome, stop doing it." She then flipped all that around in her head to hear him say he was trying to get her to go brunette because he's not attracted to her as a blonde. That's not what he was doing. As he pointed out, he's only known her blonde so he's clearly attracted to her. If she hadn't mentioned her hair loss, he wouldn't have mentioned her hair color.

Bobby and Danielle are sweet but not sexy AT ALL (when they were talking about sex I was thinking, ew). I do wonder if the reason Danielle is into Bobby is because he does all the day to day heavy lifting - like, if he got the flu and couldn't take care of her, would she be OK with that?

Dressing up like a doughnut is some shit I will not do. Yet and still, I feel so bad for Tristan. You know he was like "I thought she could AT LEAST handle having lunch with HER family and not fuck it up, and ... nope." Mia is just so... strange. Almost willfully obtuse. I agree with whoever said they'd have to check Mia's sister about getting so up in their shit about where they live, though.

I laughed when Tristan called Bobby Ricky Bobby. I thought that was cute.

[lu1535]

I think Mia's sister was channeling Pedro's sister from 90 Day Fiance. Good casting producers.

[Gem 10]

10 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

Tristan feels betrayed - again - because he asked her not to talk about a possible move just yet, & Mia ignored his request completely.

Is this guy daft or what.  Mia is nuts .. dump her now.  This just has to be for the cameras and money.

[Gem 10]

9 hours ago, ShowFan said:

My husband just kept repeating the whole show how well he has it...Definitely good to watch as a family! Amber is absolutely exhausting. Her fried hair and skin look awful. She’d do herself a HUGE favor if she stops abusing herself. It’s aging her terribly and it’s adding zero in looks

And I’m so happy my husband was watching too.  Now he knows how good he has it !   These girls are batshit crazy.  Not Danielle tho .. she’s normal.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

5 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Stop looking for trouble. Laugh things off just once [Amber].

Actually, she did. It was that comment Dave made: "You smell nice-- maybe a little too nice."

Amber was hurt by yet another (needlessly) critical remark from Dave, but she decided to take it as more or less a compliment, and went on to have a nice dinner with him.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Tristan is already on the edge with Mia after all the BS she's put him through, but then to out him about the possible move and telling her family that "he's not feeling comfortable" was totally inconsiderate/humiliating, plus I think she threw him under the bus.  She acts clueless like she doesn't know why all this would bother him, but I would never have done that to anyone I had just gotten involved with, especially in front of my family.  I would have made sure they were OK with talking about such an important and personal development between us first, especially one that was still left undecided.  It was like she "accidentally on purpose" wanted him to look bad in front of them.  What bothered me even more was the way her sister acted about it.  Tristan is always being put in the hot seat by Mia's family (like the way her father grilled him after the wedding), meanwhile Mia herself is arrested, is suspected of stalking a guy, lies multiple times, but HER family is skeptical of HIM?  WTF is wrong with this picture?  They have some freaking nerve!

Tristan's mom was very skeptical, but she also has a strong belief in family. If Tristan loves Mia, she wants to accept her too.

On the other hand, I suspect that because family is so important to her, Tristan's mom would probably agree with Mia as far as letting her family know asap that they (she and Tristan) were thinking of moving so far away from them.

[Yeah No]

20 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Actually, she did. It was that comment Dave made: "You smell nice-- maybe a little too nice."

Amber was hurt by yet another (needlessly) critical remark from Dave, but she decided to take it as more or less a compliment, and went on to have a nice dinner with him.

Dave suffers from "foot in mouth disease".  I'm convinced he doesn't even realize how he sounds sometimes.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

Jeanne222 said:

"You said everything I am thinking!  Lol Dave hasn't ended it because the sex is outstanding!  Do you see the way they look at each other!  Every night and most mornings!

I dunno. He is very happy with the sex!  Is it enough?" 

No, it's not enough. Dave may be going along with the exercises and 'playing the game' because the sex is "outstanding"--but he fully intends to dump Amber on Decision Day.

[Yeah No]

5 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Tristan's mom was very skeptical, but she also has a strong belief in family. If Tristan loves Mia, she wants to accept her too.

On the other hand, I suspect that because family is so important to her, Tristan's mom would probably agree with Mia as far as letting her family know asap that they (she and Tristan) were thinking of moving so far away from them.

I still think it's something that both of them have to be ready to tell the family, not something Mia should take upon herself to broadcast without checking with Tristan first.  If he was just in the "thinking out loud" stage, which it looks like he was, I think it was too soon to tell them anyway.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

I still think it's something that both of them have to be ready to tell the family, not something Mia should take upon herself to broadcast without checking with Tristan first.  If he was just in the "thinking out loud" stage, which it looks like he was, I think it was too soon to tell them anyway.

You do have a point --except, I don't recall Tristan ever saying anything like, "Don't tell your family about this." (At least, not on camera.) Maybe that's what he meant for her to understand, because he said something like "let's just keep this between us". 

...Maybe, for Mia, "between us" means "nobody outside the family". (I wonder if Tristan has told his mom about it?)

 

As far as "broadcasting" goes:  if it was such a big secret, why would Tristan bring it up to Mia on camera?!

Edited August 29, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[Yeah No]

2 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

You do have a point --except, I don't recall Tristan ever saying anything like, "Don't tell your family about this." (At least, not on camera.) Maybe that's what he meant for her to understand, because he said something like "let's just keep this between us". 

...And maybe, for Mia, "between us" means "nobody outside the family". (I wonder if Tristan has told his mom about it?)

In my relationship, I wouldn't have to tell my husband not to tell the family just yet because he wouldn't do it a) without knowing I was ready for it, and b) before we had really decided on anything.  It's not up to Tristan to have to tell her not to blab it to anyone.  I'm with Tristan on this and that was pretty much his big beef with Mia in their fight afterward.  Especially because they don't know each other that well yet, I think she should have erred on the side of caution before making an assumption like that.  But everything with Mia is about Mia so she doesn't even think about his feelings.

[Meowwww]

Tristan keeps saying “a light lunch”.  

He means a casual lunch.  A light lunch is a piece of toast and maybe a banana. 

[Racj82]

1 hour ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

Actually, she did. It was that comment Dave made: "You smell nice-- maybe a little too nice."

Amber was hurt by yet another (needlessly) critical remark from Dave, but she decided to take it as more or less a compliment, and went on to have a nice dinner with him.

I'm sorry. She laughed one thing off. One thing I don't think he meant to be a insult anyway. Progress.

[Booger666]

Have we heard Dave give Amber a real compliment yet?  Some people just can’t give compliments, only complinsults.

[MV713]

Editing is ridiculous on this show.  When they were in the carriage "supposedly" she got upset by that smell comment.  They spliced together a bunch of random shots of them making faces and her talking over the scene that she can't believe he just said that.  We don't have any idea what she was referring to.  We didn't see them have a discussion about his comment in the carriage.  I think it was all edited drama.

Same when Dr. Jessica was in their apt at the table.  Almost every line that was spoken, WE DID NOT SEE THEM TALKING.  It was all talking over their random shots.

We did however see the Tristan and Mia conversations, and what was said.  Also Tristan & Mia talking about it afterwards.  Tristan, you have to talk to her like a baby because she is a BABY who has ZERO idea of social interactions and appropriate behaviors!  This is why she stalked her ex boyfriend for 2 years!!!  Jesus - just end these two already, the train is coming!

[bichonblitz]

9 hours ago, PityFree said:

Same with her unfortunate hair.  All of that bleaching and heat styling results in hair that doesn’t shine, doesn’t have any movement, breaks, and falls out. Just like her skin, her hair would look better if she did a lot less to it.

Let's begin with the ratty fake hair extensions. Remove those, then concentrate on getting the hair back in better condition. She's a short, small woman and all that hair makes her look like a bit of a troll. I was surprised to hear both Mia and Dave say they thought she was beautiful. I'm not seeing it at all. 

Tristin practicing his donut game in front of the mirror was hilarious! Both he and Mia are crazy. 

Bobby and Danielle. I think they are shy about being in front of the camera. Loosen up, kids! They are falling in love, let it happen and enjoy. 

[Empress1]

3 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Let's begin with the ratty fake hair extensions. Remove those, then concentrate on getting the hair back in better condition. She's a short, small woman and all that hair makes her look like a bit of a troll. I was surprised to hear both Mia and Dave say they thought she was beautiful. I'm not seeing it at all. 

Tristin practicing his donut game in front of the mirror was hilarious! Both he and Mia are crazy. 

Bobby and Danielle. I think they are shy about being in front of the camera. Loosen up, kids! They are falling in love, let it happen and enjoy. 

I got the impression that Danielle didn't want to talk about their sex life on camera when they were doing the fishbowl game. Bobby seems a little more open to the whole on-television aspect of this than Danielle does.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

8 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

I got the impression that Danielle didn't want to talk about their sex life on camera when they were doing the fishbowl game. Bobby seems a little more open to the whole on-television aspect of this than Danielle does.

True --but Bobby didn't say any more to the guys on their "night out" than Danielle said to the women. I think he wanted to, but he's respecting her preference to keep it private. What an awesome husband! 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, Meowwww said:

Tristan keeps saying “a light lunch”.  

He means a casual lunch.  A light lunch is a piece of toast and maybe a banana. 

I noticed that. Maybe he doesn't know (or understand) the difference?

[Crazy Bird Lady]

2 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Dave suffers from "foot in mouth disease".  I'm convinced he doesn't even realize how he sounds sometimes.

He doesn't. It's just his personality to add something vaguely critical when he gives her a compliment that doesn't involve her "rock'n body" or how often they have sex.

["You smell nice --maybe a little too nice."]

[Jax7917]

Bobby looks like a young Leonardo DiCaprio and I find him to be so cute . 

Amber is really insecure but Dave is one of those people who tells you you're pretty but there's always a nasty connotAtion to it and something unnecesssry that he says directly after saying that . It must be hard to be in MIA and Tristan and Amber and daves position when you see how danielle and bobby lucked out . 

[Yeah No]

7 minutes ago, Jaclyn88 said:

Amber is really insecure but Dave is one of those people who tells you you're pretty but there's always a nasty connotAtion to it and something unnecesssry that he says directly after saying that . It must be hard to be in MIA and Tristan and Amber and daves position when you see how danielle and bobby lucked out . 

That used to be called "giving with one hand and taking away with the other" or a "backhanded compliment".

[Jax7917]

5 hours ago, Lily247 said:

I dont think that danielle is a very pleasant person, just saying. She certainly doesnt have to dish to the other girls about her marriage, but she just seems to have a bit of an attitude. She seems like the type who you would have a lot of awkward silences with during a xonversation. .I laughed to myself when she said that Bobby has done wo much for her, so she is going to put on a hat for him. 

I agree ! She seems like the type that is a good hearted person , but not much to her personality . A snooze fest if you will .  The two other girls were having girl talk , and danielle was just sitting there with nothing to say .. even when they asked for her advice she was like ., um I don't know . Even if she didn't want to discuss her relationship .. she could have joined in a little more . 

[Crazy Bird Lady]

1 hour ago, MV713 said:

Editing is ridiculous on this show.  When they were in the carriage "supposedly" she got upset by that smell comment.  They spliced together a bunch of random shots of them making faces and her talking over the scene that she can't believe he just said that.  We don't have any idea what she was referring to.  We didn't see them have a discussion about his comment in the carriage.  I think it was all edited drama.

Same when Dr. Jessica was in their apt at the table.  Almost every line that was spoken, WE DID NOT SEE THEM TALKING.  It was all talking over their random shots.

I don't think it was all editing, but a lot of it definitely is. The editors clearly like Dave a lot more than Amber, and she's obviously getting the 'bitch' edit. Like when they left out that furniture shopping footage where Dave said it was just for "temporary" housing.

[Ilovepie]

If looks could kill, everyone in that Unfiltered studio would be dead judging from Amber’s facial expression. Definitely not over the 7.5.

Oh Dave, so close until you ruined it with the perfume comment. I’m thinking he’s been single for so long because he doesn’t know how to read women. Bonus points to Amber for finally letting something go without turning it into a major drama! Growth! 

Mia is still nuts but so is her family. The sister is horrible/ tv gold. I think you could have made a drinking game out of every time Tristan said “light lunch”, my new favorite words.....

I think Danielle didn’t want to answer those fishbowl questions in a fully lit bedroom with a camera crew. I wouldn’t either.

[Empress1]

10 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I don't think it was all editing, but a lot of it definitely is. The editors clearly like Dave a lot more than Amber, and she's obviously getting the 'bitch' edit. Like when they left out that furniture shopping footage where Dave said it was just for "temporary" housing.

When was this?

[KateHearts]

2 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Tristan keeps saying “a light lunch”.  

He means a casual lunch.  A light lunch is a piece of toast and maybe a banana. 

My thoughts exactly!  And he referred to the "light lunch" about seven times.

And I was so puzzled by the hair discussion.  Amber definitely is an offense-collector:

"My hair is breaking!" (read: damaged from overbleaching)

"Maybe you shouldn't color it." (reasonable)

"You don't like me because I don't fit your ideal woman picture which is a brunette! I will never be good enough!"

Bobby and Danielle: they are really trying to find something interesting in the pair. Sure, they are doing well and have no drama.  But we don't need to see Danielle put on a baseball cap, walk into the room and then get into bed and get a goodnight peck.

[psychoticstate]

No way will Tristan and Mia make it.  Way too much drama and stress for a relationship not even a month old, way too many highs and lows.  They seem to be "making up" very superficially and not discussing the real problems.  I don't think the families need to be involved in the decision whether or not to relocate to Houston; Mia and Tristan need to make that decision.

Amber, you really should go with a pretty, rich chestnut brown color.  Or even a darker blonde that would look more natural than the bottled blonde.  Please quit telling Dr. Jessica that Dave wants you to quit bleaching your hair because he wants you to be a brunette.  That's NOT what he said.  She's so needy that she would scare off anyone.

This may be the first season that I have generally liked all 3 of the men.  

Bobby really does seem like an awesome guy.  I really hope he and Danielle make it.  

Amber looked like she wanted to rip Danielle's head off during the pedicures because Danielle and Bobby aren't having problems.  And she looked just as super pissy on Unfiltered.  Was she contractually obligated to be there?  Because she certainly didn't look happy about it.   I think by the end she'll want to stay married but Dave will walk.  I want to like her but she's just too needy and high maintenance. 

I'll be surprised if Tristan and Mia make it to the last episode.

[LilaFowler]

I don't know if Amber will vote to stay married. She wants a baby but I don't think she wants to be tied to someone that she doesn't trust and doesn't like. She has said the words (or something to the effect of), "Dave is always pointing out my flaws." That is a really sucky situation to be in. She doesn't seem happy to me at all (Dave doesn't either) and even though she was offended by his stinky comment on Fantasy Night and said that she was going to let it go, I doubt that she really has. She filed it away somewhere and is still thinking about it to this day. She's the type who can't ever really get past things. His comment to the furniture store salesperson about getting stuff for "a short-term situation" only contributed to her multitude of insecurities.

Dave is saying all of the wrong things to Amber's face but all of the right things to the cameras. My guess is that he's only really trying to look as good as possible to viewers from this point on and is possibly angling for a Second Chances spinoff. Or they will be one of those couples who opt to stay married so that they look good to viewers but aren't even together and quietly divorce when people stop paying attention.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

31 minutes ago, Empress1 said:

When was this?

It was a little piece of "bonus footage" they put in (I think) right at the end of the "Dr. Pepper answers viewers' [useless and non-controversial] questions" session, where they showed a much shorter, re-edited version of last week's show. 

6 minutes ago, LilaFowler said:

...Or they will be one of those couples who opt to stay married so that they look good to viewers but aren't even together and quietly divorce when people stop paying attention.

No way. 

I wish I could say Amber will pull the plug on their 'marriage,' but she won't. Dave will walk away and never look back (except maybe when there's camera footage involved).

Edited August 29, 2018 by Crazy Bird Lady

[PityFree]

Dang it. Product placement works because I am checking out the Basset Furniture collection today after seeing Amber and Dave annoy each other while standing next to some lovely items in the store.

Also,  I no longer think Bobby is a secret serial killer. 

[JapMo]

13 hours ago, peaceknit said:

Amber is too high maintenance for Dave.

EXACTLY!!!  He is low key, doesn't like a lot of drama...he'd probably fit with a lot of women and he does seem to be trying.  But they stick him with Amber...who definitely is trying, if you get my play on words.

[gonecrackers]

9 hours ago, Racj82 said:

Do you not like Dave? I haven't been able to tell.

Has it been that obvious... good.

But I'm not a big fan of Amber's either. I agree with everyone she's insecure & has her own issues. 

There are people who you just can't do anything right for, & Dave seems like one of those people. He may be an overly critical person in general, which may be why he's still single even though he'd like to be one of the 'marrieds' in his group. Or, something about Amber has been pinging him from the start - maybe the gym guy we haven't heard anything about since the honeymoon, but it could be an elephant in the room for them. 

If he's got a problem with her he should let her go, but he has to look like the good guy who keeps trying to please his overly sensitive wifey who he can't ever make happy, all while continually throwing out passive aggressive comments that add fuel to her insecure fire. That is what pisses me off about Dave.

Her insecurities make it worse - he plays off them. He's not the 'Mr. perfect' he seems to think he is - but as was said up thread I also feel he says all the 'right' things to the camera, & he's getting a much better edit. It's no wonder Amber seems bitter during Unfiltered.

[crgirl412]

15 hours ago, LilaFowler said:

Dave and Amber have sex twice a day?

RIGHT?????   They seem like a couple who are so impersonal with each other in public one would think they are on their first date.  He wasn't trying to get to change her hair for nothing or his preference but because it's falling out!! 

Mia is just not that bright. Seriously.  That talk they had after the lunch was one that millions of women have had with the man they are with so it was crazy seeing it the other way around!!

Edited August 29, 2018 by crgirl412

[ChristmasJones]

I think Amber senses that Dave is emotionally withholding. He is an analytical/detached type person. He seems uptight and rigid.  They bring out the worst in each other. I can't get on the Amber has such horrible hair train. Its not really that bad IMO. Sure another shade might flatter her more but I've seen plenty of people like that.  It doesn't make her a bad person.  They are just a bad match. Neither seems genuinely happy. I truly wonder why a guy like Dave- in shape, tall, good income would not have met someone by now. It makes me think his personality is lacking.  Amber definitely needs to get a grip on her insecurities, but I'd like to see how bad they were in past relationship to gauge accurately.

[bichonblitz]

1 hour ago, KateHearts said:

Bobby and Danielle: they are really trying to find something interesting in the pair. Sure, they are doing well and have no drama.  But we don't need to see Danielle put on a baseball cap, walk into the room and then get into bed and get a goodnight peck.

Those two are sizzling hot, aren't they? lol. Snore. I still like them, though. They can't help it if they're boring as all hell. Not enough pets this episode!

I hate that fishbowl exercise! I'll be damned if I'm going to tell my fantasies to this person I hardly know (much less in front of the world) and then tell my partner what they are not doing in the bedroom to satisfy me. How intrusive and in bad taste. Come up with something else, coaches, or therapists or what ever the heck they are. 

Edited August 29, 2018 by bichonblitz

[Marsh]

What....is up..... with Amber's hair.  Can she not repair the damage somehow?  Aren't there products that fix that stuff?

 

I couldn't date that hair.  Nope no way. The caked-on makeup was magnified this episode too.

 

She should not sit next to Dr. Jessica anymore because it really made her horrible hair stand out more than ever.  Not a fan of Dr. Jessica and her thrilling relationship advice but she has nice hair.  Have to give her that at least.

[Captain Asshat]

7 hours ago, Lily247 said:

I dont think that danielle is a very pleasant person, just saying. She certainly doesnt have to dish to the other girls about her marriage, but she just seems to have a bit of an attitude. She seems like the type who you would have a lot of awkward silences with during a xonversation. .I laughed to myself when she said that Bobby has done wo much for her, so she is going to put on a hat for him. 

Hey now. She straightened her hair, too.

[Crazy Bird Lady]

18 minutes ago, crgirl412 said:

RIGHT?????   They [Dave & Amber] seem like a couple who are so impersonal with each other in public one would think they are on their first date.  He wasn't trying to get to change her hair for nothing or his preference but because it's falling out!! 

I think you're right that Dave wasn't trying to tell Amber she needed to go brunette to make him happier with her as a 'wife'. 

Actually, I'm convinced the only thing that makes Dave happy with Amber as a 'wife' is all the boinking they do. (Twice a day, most days.) I'm concerned that Amber may be willing to copulate with Dave that frequently, because it's the only thing he seems to really like about her.

 

Quote

Mia is just not that bright. Seriously.  That talk they had after the lunch was one that millions of women have had with the man they are with so it was crazy seeing it the other way around!!

Tristan treating Mia like a child, ...and even calling her one, did *not* make me more of a Tristan fan!!

[red12]

12 hours ago, EmZeeGee said:

Mia's sister is way too far in Tristan and Mia's marital business for my liking. I would have had to check her. The discussion about where we live or will live or will do has nothing to do with you and everything to do with myself and Mia, we were informing you, not inviting you to give your opinion, we weren't workshopping this. How dare you get huffy with me about a discussion of our business. You have no say so.

That really irked me, can you tell? Add to that Mia's history and the thought of someone coming at me sends me over. 

I'm with you EmZeeGee. I would have snapped and verbally dragged Mia and that sister at the table. "Were you concerned enough to post her bail?" would definitely have come out of me.

I really want to understand Mia's family situation. Based on this episode, they are very enmeshed. So, how did she get the leeway to stalk a person for 2 years?

Did they all live in Louisiana and then moved to Dallas? Dallas and Louisiana are a lot further away from each other than Dallas and Houston. Dallas and Houston are a weekend road trip easily. I just don't understand people freaking out about an adult, married loved one thinking about moving less than a 4 hour drive from them. It's strange to me. Maybe I would get it if they were taking your only grandchild with them, I guess?  

[Empress1]

16 minutes ago, ChristmasJones said:

I think Amber senses that Dave is emotionally withholding. He is an analytical/detached type person. He seems uptight and rigid.  They bring out the worst in each other. I can't get on the Amber has such horrible hair train. Its not really that bad IMO. Sure another shade might flatter her more but I've seen plenty of people like that.  It doesn't make her a bad person.  They are just a bad match. Neither seems genuinely happy. I truly wonder why a guy like Dave- in shape, tall, good income would not have met someone by now. It makes me think his personality is lacking.  Amber definitely needs to get a grip on her insecurities, but I'd like to see how bad they were in past relationship to gauge accurately.

I don't think Amber is a bad person either. (I do think her hair looks bad. I don't even think she looks bad with blonde hair, but THAT hair looks bad. Very dry and unhealthy-looking - and her hair is obviously unhealthy if it's falling out.) I do think that if she's naturally insecure, this REALLY was not the right show for her. My guess is that she's dated some fuckboys who have objectively treated her badly (the "Dallas douches," as she calls them). There was a comment she made about how since she and Dave are married, he couldn't just stop talking to her, and I thought "She's been ghosted." (So have I. It's shitty.) That has fed her insecurities so they're firing on all cylinders.

Dave does seem analytical and pragmatic. He's a trader so he deals with numbers and facts. He approached the hair thing the same way - if doing a thing is resulting in something you don't like, don't do that thing. (Also, as a man who has no control over whether or not he keeps his hair, he's probably thinking "Why encourage hair loss?") Amber seems to lead much more with her emotions, so they're bound to clash. 

3 minutes ago, Marsh said:

What....is up..... with Amber's hair.  Can she not repair the damage somehow?  Aren't there products that fix that stuff?

Eventually but it would take a lot of time, effort and a commitment to no longer doing the damaging behavior, which she straight up said this episode that she's not willing to do. She needs to take out the extensions and cut off the damaged hair; if she doesn't, it'll just keep breaking further up the hair shaft. Even if she goes back to her natural color, it'll take time for her hair to become healthy again. It's very damaged.

[Neurochick]

13 hours ago, Yeah No said:

Mia herself is arrested, is suspected of stalking a guy, lies multiple times, but HER family is skeptical of HIM?  WTF is wrong with this picture?  They have some freaking nerve!

I think most families are like that.  If you're in the family, no matter what you've done, you're okay, but anybody outside the family is always suspect.

Here's a true story.  During the time of the Joel Steinberg trial in NYC, there was a story of Hedda Nussbaum's family coming to see her. Apparently, Steinberg made some excuse as to why her family couldn't see her and Nussbaum's family simply accepted it.  A co-worker said, something like, "No way would something like that happen in a Hispanic family.  There's no way a husband could just tell his wife's father that he couldn't come into the home."  Enmeshed?  Maybe, maybe not.  But families are different, people have different boundaries.  Why should Mia's family take Tristan's side?  They don't know him.  Most families would take their members' side over a stranger's.  They probably don't even believe she stalked her ex boyfriend.

Edited August 29, 2018 by Neurochick

[gonecrackers]

7 minutes ago, Crazy Bird Lady said:

I think you're right that Dave wasn't trying to tell Amber she needed to go brunette to make him happier with her as a 'wife'. 

Actually, I'm convinced the only thing that makes Dave happy with Amber as a 'wife' is all the boinking they do. (Twice a day, most days.) I'm concerned that Amber may be willing to copulate with Dave that frequently, because it's the only thing he seems to really like about her.

I agree with both points above. The hair conversation was probably the most supportive I had seen Dave be with Amber, & she was misreading him there (see, I can be fair).  But I do think she's jumpy & on edge with him from all the other critical comments. As I've said before I feel they're bringing out the worst in each other.

And yes I think the regular boinking is making the time more bearable for Dave. It's a good point that she may be having regular sex with him because that's where she feels most accepted. Hopefully that's not the case, but she is rather desperate for his acceptance, so unfortunately it's possible.

 

Reg. Tristan & Mia - I also didn't like seeing Tristan yelling at Mia. He was betrayed by her, again, as I don't think he wanted to keep the possible move from her family; he just didn't want to discuss it at that 'light' lunch. She ignored his request completely, then he had to deal with her sister's strong reaction, & Mia telling them he was 'uncomfortable', as if he was a child. She was very disrespectful toward him & he's beyond frustrated with her. He's also had the 'experts' in his ears prompting him to stay & be patient, as if this kind of toxicity (her lies etc.) stood a chance in a relationship even if they knew each other prior, never mind marrying as strangers. I'm not sure if this is Tristan, or if this is Tristan being driven through the muck with this chick & the 'experts', all while being filmed for TV, & I can't imagine how frustrating that would be. At the very least it wouldn't bring out the best in anyone.

[love2lovebadtv]

1 hour ago, LilaFowler said:

I don't know if Amber will vote to stay married. She wants a baby but I don't think she wants to be tied to someone that she doesn't trust and doesn't like. She has said the words (or something to the effect of), "Dave is always pointing out my flaws." That is a really sucky situation to be in. She doesn't seem happy to me at all (Dave doesn't either) and even though she was offended by his stinky comment on Fantasy Night and said that she was going to let it go, I doubt that she really has. She filed it away somewhere and is still thinking about it to this day. She's the type who can't ever really get past things. His comment to the furniture store salesperson about getting stuff for "a short-term situation" only contributed to her multitude of insecurities.

Dave is saying all of the wrong things to Amber's face but all of the right things to the cameras. My guess is that he's only really trying to look as good as possible to viewers from this point on and is possibly angling for a Second Chances spinoff. Or they will be one of those couples who opt to stay married so that they look good to viewers but aren't even together and quietly divorce when people stop paying attention.

I don't know if Amber even wants a baby. Maybe she feels that, due to her age, she doesn't have much time to get pregnant. That's different from wanting and being ready for a husband and child.  I know that many people conceive naturally at ages older than Amber, but the older you are, the less time she has to try. By going on this show, she cuts down on the amount of time it would normally take for courtship, engagement, wedding planning, and living together as a couple before having a baby. And I know people feel she could have just gone to a sperm bank, but that would require her being responsible and taking charge. She probably can't afford it and hasn't saved for it. Having a baby without a partner means she would have to be responsible for everything.  Amber seems to be more focused on her hair color and that guy at the gym than having a family. Did she even pack toys for her cat?

9 minutes ago, Neurochick said:

I think most families are like that.  If you're in the family, no matter what you've done, you're okay, but anybody outside the family is always suspect.

True but I would have loved to hear what they had to say about Mia. Maybe they feel like she was the victim of her former relationship and want to make sure Tristan is going to hurt her. I also wonder why her mom wasn't there. 

[Lily247]

30 minutes ago, Captain Asshat said:

Hey now. She straightened her hair, too.

It's funny, but that's another thing, from what we see, she was doing her job by fulfilling his fantasy and therefore getting more validation for herself our of it as well.