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S03.E15: One Million Percent

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Adam rises to the occasion with his crew meals; on the final charter of the season, a group of self-proclaimed "Daddy's Girls" come on board; Hannah and Conrad deal with the stages of a boat breakup; Joao makes a shocking admission to Kasey.

Airs August 28, 2018.

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How many times will I make fun of Adam’s food and, yet, long for that same food?

I would seriously consider banging that Gollum looking primary if it meant I could go to the Blue Grotto.

Apparently there is enough liquor in the world....

Edited by bosawks
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Conrad breaks it off with Hannah! She smartarses him with her usual flare of saying "honey," but actually comes around wondering about their trip to Prague! I guess she didn't get the hint! Is she really that dim? Poor Brooke has to watch Joao flirt incessantly with Kasey who's eating it up! So much for the girl code! Colin in the meantime is being psychologically tortured trying to get Brooke through the jealous moments while at the same time wanting to tell her how he feels about her! "Come on Colin; get on with it!" ;-)

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The crew might have finally gotten their acts together on this charter, but the guests just seem awkward. I don’t think that Daddy’s little girls like the competition of new younger Mommy figure in their lives. 

Edited by Mindthinkr · Reason: Autocorrect
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9 minutes ago, Mindthinkr said:

The crew might have finally gotten their acts together on this charter, but the guests just seem awkward. I don’t think that Daddy’s little girls like the competition of new younger Mommy figure in their lives. 

 

Probably true, but she was also pretty insufferable.  Twice pretending like she didn’t hear what they were talking about when she clearly had just to make it more awkward.

Oh Colin.

Kasey is back on my last nerve with the flirting.  (Jwoww has always been there.)

Edited by TexasGal
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Awww, Colin. What’s a normal guy like you doing on a ship like this? 

He looks a little too much like a former manager for me to be attracted to him (it’s just a thing I have—he’s plenty cute). But that aside, he’s a catch. Better than JWOWW, that’s for sure.

I doubt Conrad will poop where he eats again.

Meanwhie, Casey, why are you striving for the booby prize? It makes you look really bad, on top of it all.

Edited by ivygirl
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I don't get why both these women are so fussed about Joao. He'll flit back and forth between them long as he's allowed. They both deserve better.

It was painful to see Brooke blame herself in this ep when she thought she was overreacting, but he knew that what he was doing wasn't okay and did it anyway.

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1 hour ago, bosawks said:

Kasey and JWOWW are perfect together.

Free Brooke!

They are! Sorry Brooke, but it doesn't take a genius to see the chemistry between the two of them & two of you & think he didn't choose poorly. 

Adam actually made me laugh when he told Conrad he'd give him & Hannah $100 each to stop bothering him with their relationship woes. 

The blue grotto looked awesome, except for the entrance...hello claustrophobia! 

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Boring episode. I could care less about this silly ship nomances. Brooke was straight off a break up and now she is working herself up about Joaw ?  Hannah and Conrad ? Hannah, unfortunately you sank about a million points in my eyes. The guys just not that into you. Forget about it. Go see Prague by yourself. 

Really disappointed in the season. 

On the other hand, cannot wait for below deck OG.

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Colin andJamie came off this season with the least damage to their reputations. Brooke, you looked foolish and insecure this whole time; Casey you looked like a spoiled little bitch, Joao you just look untrustworthy, Hannah you look like a woman who has been spoiled and has a hard time accepting love, Conrad, you looked  like a silly lovesick pup. Adam you redeemed yourself by staying out of the romances. Sandy, I prefer Captain Lee.

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Colin is that guy that all of the girls would be on if he had more of an asshole attitude like Joao.  He's a prime example of how nice guys finish last.  It's too bad.  Brooke is an idiot not only for falling for Joao and his BS, but allowing herself to be disrespected continuously by him.  I think Jamie is adorable - too mature for any of the guys on the boat.  Hannah gets on my last nerves.  Joao is a pompous asshole.  Kasey obviously has no respect for Brooke or herself by flirting so openly with Joao.  Wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her around my guy.  Conrad dodged a bullet by ending things with Hannah.  Sandy is cool but I find her a bit boring.

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33 minutes ago, Jets4274 said:

Colin is that guy that all of the girls would be on if he had more of an asshole attitude like Joao.  He's a prime example of how nice guys finish last.  It's too bad.  Brooke is an idiot not only for falling for Joao and his BS, but allowing herself to be disrespected continuously by him.  I think Jamie is adorable - too mature for any of the guys on the boat.  Hannah gets on my last nerves.  Joao is a pompous asshole.  Kasey obviously has no respect for Brooke or herself by flirting so openly with Joao.  Wouldn't trust her as far as I could throw her around my guy.  Conrad dodged a bullet by ending things with Hannah.  Sandy is cool but I find her a bit boring.

You must not have seen the previews! These people have learned nothing! Hannah's still beggin' seeing as even though she seemed to blow off Conrad after the break up, she goes to his room to maul him! Brooke was humiliated last night, but she's kissing up on Joao again the next day!  Joao is vacillating between the 2 women; saying he's committed to Brooke, but since she's acting like a jealous woman, he's hedging his bet with Kasey in reserve as a willing concubine! ;-)

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41 minutes ago, Fiero425 said:

You must not have seen the previews! These people have learned nothing! Hannah's still beggin' seeing as even though she seemed to blow off Conrad after the break up, she goes to his room to maul him! Brooke was humiliated last night, but she's kissing up on Joao again the next day!  Joao is vacillating between the 2 women; saying he's committed to Brooke, but since she's acting like a jealous woman, he's hedging his bet with Kasey in reserve as a willing concubine! ;-)

I didn't see the previews.  Joao obviously loves the attention and think he looks like the man when he really looks like scum.  Would love to see a show where the women aren't stupid enough fall for that kind of shit.

 

29 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

The start of every great love story: "If I didn't have to go pee the night of the dock party, maybe JWoww & I would be the ones together now" (paraphrasing).

He's such a dick.  Probably went for Brooke because the chance of her putting out vs. virginal Kasey was better.  Also, to make Kasey want to put out.

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10 hours ago, Fiero425 said:

Conrad breaks it off with Hannah! She smartarses him with her usual flare of saying "honey," but actually comes around wondering about their trip to Prague! I guess she didn't get the hint! Is she really that dim? 

 

Hannah still wanted to be able to toy with Conrad some more.  Good for him for stepping away.   Both Conrad and Hannah's quality of work greatly improved once they broke up.  She was back to what we've seen in past seasons.  Funny what distractions can do to you.  Her communication with everyone was better.  She actually was proactive in coming up with activities.  

Jwow is an arse who enjoyed playing women off each other and those two ate up his game with a spoon.  They all need to grow up.

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Jwow has that resting smirk face that just makes me want to through a glass of wine in his face followed by the wine bottle.

Edited by bosawks
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The Jaoa, Brooke, Kasey thing is planned and scripted, right?  It has to be. The 3 of them have to be playing with us.   It is inconceivable to me that he could be that big of an ass, Brooke could be that stupid and pathetic, and that Kasey could be that sly and selfish all at once.  They are all so one dimensional it's absurd.  And yet they get along with each other fine??    It's just bizarre.

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Ugh, I can't wait for Below Deck OG to be back. There's the love triangle where all three sides are awful, the Conrad/Hannah thing where they're both trying to act as much like middle schoolers as possible (it seems like many commenters may disagree with me, but Conrad only wins in 'who can be more mature than the other' because Hannah sets such a low bar -- awkwardly exiting the wheelhouse without confronting the trip issue head-on and immediately running down to complain to Adam wasn't exactly the height of acting like a grown-up), Captain Sandy got a glimmer of reality tv sunshine and is now obnoxious to watch...the show would be more entertaining if we just watched Colin and Jamie napping or whatever the hell they're doing when the edit focuses on everybody else. Or the 2-3 unseen engineers silently doing their job. 

For me this isn't just a bad season -- I don't know that Below Deck Med has really had a good one. This is my least favorite, but none have clicked yet.

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11 hours ago, rideashire said:

I don't get why both these women are so fussed about Joao. He'll flit back and forth between them long as he's allowed. They both deserve better.

It was painful to see Brooke blame herself in this ep when she thought she was overreacting, but he knew that what he was doing wasn't okay and did it anyway.

Why do they deserve better? I’m sorry, they see the exact same Jwow everybody else does and they still choose to pursue him.  I have zero sympathy for Brooke and Kasey. This is what they want. 

 

Hannah is insufferable. Add “won’t let anything go” to the list of petty annoyances she has. She blames Conrad for wanting to cancel the Prague trip. Hello!! You broke up! He doesn’t want to go on vacation with you! That’s normal!

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7 hours ago, Fiero425 said:

Hannah's still beggin' seeing as even though she seemed to blow off Conrad after the break up, she goes to his room to maul him! 

Rather than wanting to be together, I suspect that Hannah just wants to be the one who breaks it off.  If she can hook up with him again, then she can pretend that she's the one who walked away.

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I continue to be confused by Hannah’s “story” this season. She should know better. If she wants to lazy or an asshole boss she can always laugh it off as being just for show. I’m not sure why she’s continued this persona as a gold-digger, materialistic, money grubber. How is any guy going to trust her moving forward?

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1 hour ago, terrymct said:

Jwow is an arse who enjoyed playing women off each other and those two ate up his game with a spoon. 

Total gaslight artist.  That said, you can't gaslight the unwilling.  Kasey gave no f*cks about Brooke's feelings or about having any degree of integrity about the matter.  She felt that she had her man taken from her, simply because she walked away for a few minutes.  I can see why she embellished her resume'.  Poor thing wouldn't qualify intellectually to be the mop that swabs the poop deck.

I love how Hannah keeps throwing out the "23-yr olds" comments, hoping to convince herself and others that it was Conrad's immaturity that bombed out their "relationship", when it truth, it was her unreasonable and lofty expectations.  I rather enjoyed seeing her get her comeuppance.  

I was trying to will Colin to not tell Brooke how he felt about her.  I suppose he thought there was a thread of hope that she would fall into his arms.  You deserve better Collie!  That girl isn't ready for a relationship, let alone one with a mature, kind person.  

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6 minutes ago, SuprSuprElevated said:

Total gaslight artist.  That said, you can't gaslight the unwilling.  Kasey gave no f*cks about Brooke's feelings or about having any degree of integrity about the matter.  She felt that she had her man taken from her, simply because she walked away for a few minutes.  I can see why she embellished her resume'.  Poor thing wouldn't qualify intellectually to be the mop that swabs the poop deck.

I love how Hannah keeps throwing out the "23-yr olds" comments, hoping to convince herself and others that it was Conrad's immaturity that bombed out their "relationship", when it truth, it was her unreasonable and lofty expectations.  I rather enjoyed seeing her get her comeuppance.  

I was trying to will Colin to not tell Brooke how he felt about her.  I suppose he thought there was a thread of hope that she would fall into his arms.  You deserve better Collie!  That girl isn't ready for a relationship, let alone one with a mature, kind person.  

I had never heard about gaslighting until about a year ago. I used to think it was awful and guys shouldn’t do it, but shows like this it not only works, it’s what women prefer. This episode Brooke got to choose between Jwow and Collin, and she made it pretty clear that Collin never had a chance with her. If we want to complain about poor male behavior we should also talk about the women who reward that behavior. 

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1 minute ago, Stan39 said:

I had never heard about gaslighting until about a year ago. I used to think it was awful and guys shouldn’t do it, but shows like this it not only works, it’s what women prefer. This episode Brooke got to choose between Jwow and Collin, and she made it pretty clear that Collin never had a chance with her. If we want to complain about poor male behavior we should also talk about the women who reward that behavior. 

Which is exactly what I did above, and I quote, "That said, you can't gaslight the unwilling."

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Is Hannah 14?  Conrad basically breaks up with her and she continues to insert herself in his face, being bitchy.  Girl, have some pride and give him as much space as you can on a boat you're both working on.  Jeebus.  

Smartest thing Conrad's done so far this season though.  It's about time. 

I was beginning to think Kasey wasn't as dumb as we all perceived in the beginning but now I see that yes, she is that dumb.  Go for Colin.  A much better choice.  Joao is just a woman-playing jerk.  WTH is with Brooke the next day claiming she can't remember why she was upset the night before?  Bullshit.  Brooke, you need to get in line with Hannah for some pride.

Pretty much all I've got as I was doing something else while this was on and it felt pretty boring.  The scenery, as always, is stunning though.  I think I've seen Rick Steves go through that same grotto although, if I'm remembering correctly, the waters were very choppy when he did it.  Absolutely gorgeous - - and again makes me wonder why the crew is always going off to get loaded at a bar in their downtime rather than see the city.

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13 minutes ago, psychoticstate said:

Is Hannah 14?  Conrad basically breaks up with her and she continues to insert herself in his face, being bitchy.

Yeah, and how many times does she need to ask him if they can "have a chat"? No, bitch. No more chats. 

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Kudos to Conrad for dumping Hannah.  I hope he holds out on her next week.  Frankly, her bragging about everything her ex boyfriends gave her make it seem like she was been paid for services rendered.  Throughout the previous seasons she pursued chef’s Ben and Adam, only to be rejected by both.  Of course she used Bobby as something to play with as she is so found of saying.  Even Bobby was really more interested in the other stew, Julia.  It appears as though her arrogance in regard to various things in her life is unfounded.

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Sorry never have been never will be a Brooke fan.

SHE WAS NOT FUN!

All the joyless, sad sack Eeyore did was pine over a jerk, weak assed complain every freaking episode about something, and allowed everybody to run over her. 

Letthe idea of her go Colin you're better off without her.

 

Brooke = roadkill

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30 minutes ago, bichonblitz said:

Yeah, and how many times does she need to ask him if they can "have a chat"? No, bitch. No more chats. 

I think "chat" for Hannah equals sitting down next to Conrad, smoking, and complaining about how he doesn't have her back, he's cheap, and how other men have given her more and then running off to complain to the rest of the crew about how awful Conrad is.  And the next day, being upset as to why he's not kissing up to her.

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13 hours ago, ivygirl said:

Awww, Colin. What’s a normal guy like you doing on a ship like this? 

He looks a little too much like a former manager for me to be attracted to him (it’s just a thing I have—he’s plenty cute). But that aside, he’s a catch. Better than JWOWW, that’s for sure.

I doubt Conrad will poop where he eats again.

Meanwhie, Casey, why are you striving for the booby prize? It makes you look really bad, on top of it all.

For the longest time, I wasn't convinced Colin was actually heterosexual, but tonight he seemed genuinely nervous about approaching Brooke.  I have a hard time getting by his eyebrows -- they almost looked plucked so he can do drag shows.

Meanwhile, Brooke is an idiot.  She's actually apologizing to him for his flirtation?  Casey is another idiot and I can't understand for the life of me what anyone would find attractive about her.  That hair color is SO bad.  And her face looks like an ashy mess.  

I'm glad Conrad has some balls, but he's another one that I don't find the slightest bit attractive and his voice is irritating AF to me.

On the primary's younger "trophy" wife, she is soooooo not a trophy.  She looked like the late China wrestler to me and that is not a good thing.

13 hours ago, rideashire said:

I don't get why both these women are so fussed about Joao. He'll flit back and forth between them long as he's allowed. They both deserve better.

It was painful to see Brooke blame herself in this ep when she thought she was overreacting, but he knew that what he was doing wasn't okay and did it anyway.

They are both such idiots they deserve him.

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1 hour ago, psychoticstate said:

Is Hannah 14?  Conrad basically breaks up with her and she continues to insert herself in his face, being bitchy.  Girl, have some pride and give him as much space as you can on a boat you're both working on.  Jeebus.  

Smartest thing Conrad's done so far this season though.  It's about time. 

I was beginning to think Kasey wasn't as dumb as we all perceived in the beginning but now I see that yes, she is that dumb.  Go for Colin.  A much better choice.  Joao is just a woman-playing jerk.  WTH is with Brooke the next day claiming she can't remember why she was upset the night before?  Bullshit.  Brooke, you need to get in line with Hannah for some pride.

Pretty much all I've got as I was doing something else while this was on and it felt pretty boring.  The scenery, as always, is stunning though.  I think I've seen Rick Steves go through that same grotto although, if I'm remembering correctly, the waters were very choppy when he did it.  Absolutely gorgeous - - and again makes me wonder why the crew is always going off to get loaded at a bar in their downtime rather than see the city.

Hannah gets dumped for being a materialistic gold-digger, so what does she do? Complain incessantly that Conrad isn't a gentleman for paying $200 for her change of flight fee. Oh sure, she says "offering to pay" but we all know she expected him to pay. I don't know where this side of Hannah has been in previous seasons, but it's ugly and I hope she gets called out for it.  

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When Hannah came up to interrupt the Conrad and Adam conversation, for the hundredth “chat” with Conrad, in my head all I can hear was Bethenny Franklin yelling, “GO TO SLEEEP!” She is the worst and Brooke coming in a close second.  The only people tolerable on this show are Colin, Jaime and Adam (sometimes).

Edited by checkmeboo
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I choked a little on my Rocky Road last night with the upcoming previews of Hannah once again chasing down someone really not into her and telling Conrad to take down my pants...what a whore.

P.S I thought Collin looked hawt when he was dressed to meet his parents.  ( holding my 40yr + head in shame)

Edited by Mahamid Frauded Me
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4 hours ago, TeeMo said:

Did they really throw some tomatoes all over the table for dinner and pretend they were decor?

Honestly, it seemed more creative than 99% of their tablescapes.  I liked the dried pasta too.

50 minutes ago, Mahamid Frauded Me said:

I choked a little on my Rocky Road last night with the upcoming previews of Hannah once again chasing down someone really not into her and telling Conrad to take down my pants...what a whore.

P.S I thought Collin looked hawt when he was dressed to meet his parents.  ( holding my 40yr + head in shame)

Yes ? and yes ?

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Rather than wanting to be together, I suspect that Hannah just wants to be the one who breaks it off. 

Absolutely. She wants to be the dumper, or to have the final triumphant word and flounce-off in every petty fight. She thought Conrad would be in her thrall. Instead things have devolved to him groaning and slamming doors in her face when she approaches him YET AGAIN to "discuss their relationship."

She probably wanted to go to Prague to have a leisurely, extended sexual interlude, after which she planned to dump Conrad and fly off into the sunset. He called her bluff.

This series is so tedious that I didn't even watch last week. Showrunners, please eliminate the middle school romances.

The insufferable and mediocre Adam has caught on. He stays out of the drama, prepares food that satisfies the guests, mouths insincere platitudes to the camera and Sandy, occasionally issues a pithy comment, and collects his tips. They will probably have him back next season.

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2 hours ago, psychoticstate said:

Pretty much all I've got as I was doing something else while this was on and it felt pretty boring.  The scenery, as always, is stunning though.  I think I've seen Rick Steves go through that same grotto although, if I'm remembering correctly, the waters were very choppy when he did it.  Absolutely gorgeous - - and again makes me wonder why the crew is always going off to get loaded at a bar in their downtime rather than see the city.

Because the producers want interpersonal drama and has lined up restaurants, bars and clubs where they could film.  Probably required for them to go on these night excursions, though really, what else is there to do at night except hang on the boat?  I'm sure the food and booze are free as enticements.

When the booze is flowing like it was on this episode, there are bound to be arguments or fights or like Brooke getting emotional.

They could show more scenery but it's just a backdrop.  The main event is the signature Bravo reality TV drama.

TBH, if they showed more scenery, it would be more like a travel show on PBS or the Travel Channel and those don't get big ratings.  And Bravo viewers don't tune in for that.

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Isn't this rinse, and repeat from last week?  Humourless Hannah and Conrad fight. Brooke cries over Joao flirting with Kasey. Kasey, who looks like a melted barbie doll, flirts back with Joao. 

The only fun part was the awkward family and the sister's hateathon for their father's trashy girlfriend. 

Edited by Barbara Please
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13 hours ago, missyb said:

Boring episode. I could care less about this silly ship nomances. Brooke was straight off a break up and now she is working herself up about Joaw ?  Hannah and Conrad ? Hannah, unfortunately you sank about a million points in my eyes. The guys just not that into you. Forget about it. Go see Prague by yourself. 

Really disappointed in the season. 

On the other hand, cannot wait for below deck OG.

They did show that her father was a serial adulterer, who broke up the family.

So maybe she's always looking for the stability that she never had in her family.

Of course if she wants someone loyal, it's staring at her right in the face but she puts Colin in the friend zone.  Regardless of what she may think she wants, she's drawn to guys who bring drama and stoke her insecurities.

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1 hour ago, pasdetrois said:

She probably wanted to go to Prague to have a leisurely, extended sexual interlude, after which she planned to dump Conrad and fly off into the sunset. He called her bluff.

She did do a talk to the camera a couple episodes or so back essentially saying she's at least be able to use Conrad for a vacation (Prague) trip.

One thing appealing about Europe is the relatively short plane or railway hops it takes to be in a different foreign country or city

Edited by 100Proof
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13 hours ago, Jets4274 said:

Colin is that guy that all of the girls would be on if he had more of an asshole attitude like Joao.

Seriously. When he said to Brooke "maybe if I'd said something a couple of weeks earlier", I thought "no Colin, maybe if you'd acted like a sociopathic asshole who told stories about being sodomized by a giraffe, things would've been different". 

While I don't think Hannah is seeing things in a perspective I have about the Prague trip, I have to say that I might have been pissed too. If I remember correctly, didn't Hannah say she'd been to Prague before, while Conrad hadn't? I'll use Paris as an example...I went to Paris once. It was beautiful, and I'm glad I saw it, but it's not a place I'd choose to visit again. I would totally go if I was travelling with someone though, and they really wanted to go see it, but if left on my own, it wouldn't be my choice. I'd be irritated if I had my flights booked to go to Paris, and then the person who hadn't bailed on me. I'd be like "um, thanks? Now I guess I get to go to Paris again by myself!". Of course there are worse things in life, and I don't blame Conrad one bit for bailing, but I can see Hannah's irritation being justified. She's still an asshole though. 

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6 minutes ago, CaliforniaLove said:

didn't Hannah say she'd been to Prague before, while Conrad hadn't?

Neither had been there and she said she had been wanting to go for the past five years which is why I don’t understand why she just doesn’t go by herself. It’s a fun city, my parents used to live there, and most people speak English and it’s not hard to get around by yourself. 

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6 hours ago, CaliforniaLove said:

Seriously. When he said to Brooke "maybe if I'd said something a couple of weeks earlier", I thought "no Colin, maybe if you'd acted like a sociopathic asshole who told stories about being sodomized by a giraffe, things would've been different". 

While I don't think Hannah is seeing things in a perspective I have about the Prague trip, I have to say that I might have been pissed too. If I remember correctly, didn't Hannah say she'd been to Prague before, while Conrad hadn't? I'll use Paris as an example...I went to Paris once. It was beautiful, and I'm glad I saw it, but it's not a place I'd choose to visit again. I would totally go if I was travelling with someone though, and they really wanted to go see it, but if left on my own, it wouldn't be my choice. I'd be irritated if I had my flights booked to go to Paris, and then the person who hadn't bailed on me. I'd be like "um, thanks? Now I guess I get to go to Paris again by myself!". Of course there are worse things in life, and I don't blame Conrad one bit for bailing, but I can see Hannah's irritation being justified. She's still an asshole though. 

Amen on Colin.  He's way too nice and Brooke is way too pathetic.  HE deserves better.

I suspect he's like my nephew.  Good looking guy, relationship guy, but always comes off as too eager, too needy.  There's a happy medium between too nice and an asshole player.

On the Prague trip, as far as I'm concerned, that's the risk you take when you plan a trip with someone you're dating -- your relationship could fall through at any moment.  Conrad isn't under any obligation, and both should know the risk involved.  

I think Hannah is under the delusion that talking about men paying for her = letting the worlds know she's desirable.   You'd think in this day and age, she'd realize it's more attractive to be self-sufficient.  Most successful men, unless they are old sugar daddys, want a successful woman too.

Edited by sasha206
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