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Celebrating 1,000 NCIS-franchise episodes

Quotes: More Pearls of Wisdom

David T. Cole

By David T. Cole
in Better Call Saul

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Umbelina

Umbelina

My favorite one from last night  (and I don't have the exact quote, but would really appreciate it if someone does!) was:

 

"I can't tell if this is one of those times I should be looking in your eyes, or if it's where I should not be looking in your eyes."  So true, and so perfect.

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editorgrrl

editorgrrl

My favorite one from last night  (and I don't have the exact quote, but would really appreciate it if someone does!) was:

 

"I can't tell if this is one of those times I should be looking in your eyes, or if it's where I should not be looking in your eyes."  So true, and so perfect.

 

Jimmy to Tuco: 

Seems to be a misunderstanding. Is there, by any chance, a Betsy Kettleman here? 

See, I'm not sure if this is a situation where I should or should not look you in the eye.

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shapeshifter

shapeshifter

From episode 3, "Nacho." Jimmy to the two cops: "Hey Cagney, Lacey. When you realize how wrong you are about all this, I'll take an Edible Arrangement as a sorry. Heavy on the pineapple."

This was the best line, IMO, of the "Nacho" episode, but I also liked when Jimmy unzipped the Kettlemens' tent flap in the dark when they thought killers were after them, and he said: "Here's Johnny !" and then introduced himself to the kids as "Uncle Jimmy."
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WicketyWack

WicketyWack

Jimmy: Promise not to be upset with me.

Kim: No way am I making that promise.

 

Jimmy: Right now, my ass is on the highway to the danger zone. ... If the cops keep pushing him they're gonna find something, and when that happens Nacho blames me, and then his guys turn me into a meat piñata.

 

Kim: The Kettlemans are our clients. This would mean incriminating them.

Jimmy: You see? This is why people hate lawyers.

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WicketyWack

WicketyWack

Ohhh, yeah, that's the way.

Gosh you're big. You're sooo big. My goodness, look at you!

Fill me up, Chandler. Put it in me!

Give it to me, Chandler. I want it all. Mmmmm. Ahhhh!

— Tony the Toilet Buddy

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editorgrrl

editorgrrl

Ohhh, yeah, that's the way.

Gosh you're big. You're sooo big. My goodness, look at you!

Fill me up, Chandler. Put it in me!

Give it to me, Chandler. I want it all. Mmmmm. Ahhhh!

— Tony the Toilet Buddy

I also liked Jimmy's impression:

"Oh, you're huge, Chandler! You're a big, big boy! Oh, where does it end?! Oh, don't stop, Chandler! Don't stop! Oh, here it comes! Oh, what is that? Is that a piece of corn? Did you eat corn, Chandler? Is that a niblet I see, Chandler?"

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damalanop

damalanop

From the episode "Five-0"

 

In the interrogation room with Mike, Jimmy says:
 
             "I'm not doing the Juan Valdez bump and dump."
 
Mike to his daughter-in-law when she asks him what happened to the cops that killed Matty:
 
             "You know what happened.  The question is...can you live with that?"

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WicketyWack

WicketyWack

Mike: It's like killing Caesar. Everyone's guilty.

 

Mike: He put me up on a pedestal and I had to show him that I was down in the gutter with the rest of them. Broke my boy. I broke my boy.

 

Mike: I was the only one that could get him to debase himself like that. And it was for nothing. I made him lesser. I made him like me. And the bastards killed him anyway.

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jnymph

jnymph

Jimmy: Look, don't let Mr. Ehrmentraut's dancing eyes and bubbly bon vivant personality fool you. He's actually, believe it or not, somewhat taciturn. Shall I fan you gently, so you don't go into shock? 

OMG.  I still can't stop laughing over that one !!!!!!

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editorgrrl

editorgrrl

From season 1, episode 6, "Five-O":

Jimmy: How you doing? James McGill here to see my client.
Cop: What? You look like Matlock.
Jimmy: Uh, no, I look like a young Paul Newman dressed as Matlock. Where's my guy?

Cop: Say hello to Barney Fife.
Jimmy: Wrong show, but thanks for playing.

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Umbelina

Umbelina

(edited)

There were a lot of good lines in this one, but the thing that keeps sticking with me is:

 

<cops babble pretending to be on his side>

"Lawyer."

<cops babble pretending to be on his side>

"Lawyer."

<cops babble pretending to be on his side>

"Lawyer."

 

If I'm ever in an interrogation room, which, yeah, hopefully not?  This is the scene I will remember, and I will use the same dialogue.

Edited by Umbelina
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shapeshifter

shapeshifter

From season 1, episode 6, "Five-O":

Jimmy: How you doing? James McGill here to see my client.

Cop: What? You look like Matlock.

Jimmy: Uh, no, I look like a young Paul Newman dressed as Matlock. Where's my guy?

Cop: Say hello to Barney Fife.

Jimmy: Wrong show, but thanks for playing.

I especially loved the last line here.

Does anyone know if Odenkirk does any ad-libbing on the show?

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editorgrrl

editorgrrl

(edited)

From episode 7, "Bingo":

 

Jimmy: Got a decent-size conference room. Not as big as Hamlin's, but, you know, it's cozy. Our elderly brethren prefer that, I find.

Kim: Yeah. Could be cozier, though. Maybe you could embroider some little cushions, crochet a runner for the table.
Jimmy: And rocking chairs all around?

Kim: Yes. Make it look like the front of a Cracker Barrel.

 

Betsy Kettleman: There is no money with which to make a deal.

Jimmy: [Laughs] Can we all three just parachute down from cloud-cuckoo-land? 'Cause we know, without question, there is money.

 

Betsy Kettleman: We'll tell about the bribe you took.
Jimmy: You could do that—you absolutely could. And I'd be in a mess of trouble—a real pickle. But so would you, Mrs. Kettleman. 'Cause right now, only Mr. Kettleman is on the hook for the whole embezzlement kerfuffle. But the bribe—we're back to calling it a bribe?—yeah, that implicates you as well.

 

Irene: I love kitties. I have two siamese cats: Oscar and Felix. Felix can wash himself. Oscar won't—he just won't.

Edited by editorgrrl
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WicketyWack

WicketyWack

Chuck: You're Slippin' Jimmy. And Slippin' Jimmy I can handle just fine, but Slippin' Jimmy with a law degree is like a chimp with a machine gun.


Mike: I've known good criminals and bad cops. Bad priests, honorable thieves. You can be on one side of the law or the other, but if you make a deal with somebody, you keep your word. You can go home today with your money and never do this again. But you took something that wasn't yours, and you sold it for a profit. You're now a criminal. Good one, bad one — that's up to you. 


Jimmy: He has reached a level of douchebaggery that will live on for generations. Passed down by wind talkers and the like.

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editorgrrl

editorgrrl

(edited)

From season 1, episode 9, "Pimento":

 

Jimmy: Damn it, Chuck. Come on, we can do this. We're doing great on our own. We don't need Hamlin or anyone else. I mean, hey, we can Erin Brockovich the shit out of this case.

 

Sobchak: Dealing with some of these ethnic types, blood tends to run a little hotter. That's just science—physiology. There's historical precedent, know what I'm saying? So, what're you packing?

Mike: A pimento.

Sobchak: Sorry, what?

Mike: Pimento sandwich.

 

Pryce: First order of business, we have a long drive ahead of us. Uh, I have a cooler of water in the car, some soft drinks. I don't drink coffee, but there is a diner on the corner. Also a bathroom in there in case you need to go before we go. Second order, uh, money. Just to be clear that the agreed-upon fee of $500 per man is agreed upon—if that's acceptable.

Sobchak: Yeah, I have a thought. Yeah, how about you give me and Man Mountain 750 each? And send Uncle Fester there home. 

 

Jimmy: Go to hell, Howard. I'm not giving you my case, and I'm gonna tell every one of those clients what a lying miserable pigfucker you are. I will burn the whole thing to the ground before I give it to you.

 

Howard Hamlin: The partners have made a decision, and the why is not your concern.

Kim Wexler: I think it is my concern.
Howard Hamlin: And why is that?

Kim Wexler: Because he's my friend—and the way I see it, you're not treating him fairly.

Edited by editorgrrl
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editorgrrl

editorgrrl

(edited)

From season 1, episode 10, "Marco" (the season finale):

 

Jimmy: Uh, quick question: who here knows what a "Chicago sunroof" is? Anybody? You, sir? No? Okay, true story: back home there was this guy named Chet. Now, Chet was a real asshole. He might have owed me some money, he might have slept with my wife before she became my ex-wife. The details don't matter—suffice it to say I was wronged. All right, so, one summer evening  I was out having a few drinks—one or two, maybe three. [Chuckles] You get the picture. And, uh, who do I see? Chet. He drove up, and he double-parked outside a Dairy Queen and went in to get some soft serve. Now, Chet drove—and this will give you an idea of exactly what kind of a douchebag this guy was—drove a white pearlescent BMW 7 series with white leather interior. [Chuckles] So, I saw that thing and I had I'd had a few, like I said. And, uh, I climbed up top, and I may have defecated, uh, through the sunroof. Not my finest hour—I'll grant you that. But that's what a "Chicago sunroof" is. Now you know. [Chuckles] It's a real thing—I didn't make it up. I'm not the first person to do it. There's a name for it. Guy wanted some soft serve—I gave him some soft serve.

 

I did not know that his children were in the backseat. There was a level of tint on the windows that I'll maintain to this day was not legal in an Illinois-licensed vehicle. But somehow that's on me, I guess. Who leaves two Cub Scouts in a double-parked car with the engine running? Come on! Now, Chet was connected, see? Like, uh, Cicero connected. So usually I'd be looking at malicious mischief, public intoxication, disorderly conduct maybe—but he's got the DA saying indecent exposure, calling me a sex offender. What? One little Chicago sunroof and suddenly I'm Charles Manson? And that's where it all went off the rails.

 

I've been paying for it ever since. That's why I'm here! I don't— [Breathing raggedly] You know what? [Sniffs] Any of this stuff you want, come get it. Kitty cat notebooks for everybody! [Mic drop + feedback]

Edited by editorgrrl
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Umbelina

Umbelina

According to the "Better Call Saul" Insider podcast, the show sticks very closely to the script.

I remember reading an article where they just let Odenkirk create, and it was better than what they had on the page.  Sometimes, they just let him go, and edit later.  Two specific scenes I remember them talking about were the Bingo calling breakdown, and something when he was back with his old partner doing the cons, bar or alley, not sure.

 

With someone like Odenkirk, comedy genius, amazing writer himself, and perfect timing, sometimes the only sane thing to do is let him improve.

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Lalo Lives

Lalo Lives

(edited)

Reading over these reminds me of the absolute gold mine the earlier seasons were.

Then I think these writers must be depraved, humped, malformed geniuses held in a cellar somewhere, being fed a steady diet of generic soft drinks and chile lime Chex mix.

And THEN I see them on a vid or podcast and they look and sound like any normal person selling Hokas or cleaning my teeth.

Seriously, Schnauz could have rented space and be selling custom lightsabers at a Cosplay convention; Gould would be a dermatologist scraping a plantars wart off the sole of your foot; while Gilligan could be dishing out pancakes and bacon at the Shrove Tuesday fundraiser.

To be truthful, Schnauz is nearly a dead ringer for a filthy rich friend/client/boss of mine (yes, a weird relationship). He is the most savage and cold blooded businessman BEHIND the scenes. In a public setting he is amiable and professional; and in the top 3 of the smartest people I've ever met. Short, round, doughy, balding, he'd put a crowbar through your neck.....in a business setting.

Maybe that explains Schnauz. He's got some dark corners and I suspect he's got a serious intellect.

But he seems like a nice normal nerdy guy.

In any event, I'd love to be a fly on the wall in the meetings these people have throwing out ideas and concepts. AND DIALOGUE!

Edited by Lalo Lives
Spelling.... again
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