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Catelynn (and Tyler)


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29 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Why didnt Catelynn have a social worker or something as an advocate for her during this process? Why didnt Bethanny offer her counseling after placement?

Bethany is supposed to do this, in fact, that is part of the fees they take from the adoptive parents to provide counseling for the birth parents. Bethany has been accused of not doing this before from other birth mothers (and adoptive parents mad that they paid for a service that Bethany pocketed) but do we know for sure Bethany didn't offer this to her? Bethany may be shady AF, but considering the exposure they got, I would expect them to at least do this for Cate.

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@Tatum thanks so much for refreshing my memory- I trust you know better than I do. But no I didn’t mean in the parking lot Catelynn said that- I meant her discussions about in during her first season of Teen Mom. 
 

7 minutes ago, Tatum said:

Bethany is supposed to do this, in fact, that is part of the fees they take from the adoptive parents to provide counseling for the birth parents. Bethany has been accused of not doing this before from other birth mothers (and adoptive parents mad that they paid for a service that Bethany pocketed) but do we know for sure Bethany didn't offer this to her? Bethany may be shady AF, but considering the exposure they got, I would expect them to at least do this for Cate.

Right- Bethany was supposed to do this and they didn’t, Catelynn was VERY depressed after Carly was placed, and we saw her be depressed during the first season of Teen Mom, when she was living with Tyler and his Mom. There was never any mention of services for her, and yeah given the exposure Catelynn got, if Bethany was offering this to her and MTV was misleading the audience that Catelynn had no mental health support, I think social media (from either side) would’ve set the record straight. 
 

Catelynn did a lot of work for Bethany after Carly’s adoption, speaking and such, and she got to meet the bio mom to B&T’s second child- also through Bethany, no? As much as she continued to work with them, she never mentioned any counseling or services being given to her after the placement of Carly.

 

 

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22 minutes ago, Scarlett45 said:

Catelynn did a lot of work for Bethany after Carly’s adoption, speaking and such, and she got to meet the bio mom to B&T’s second child- also through Bethany, no? As much as she continued to work with them, she never mentioned any counseling or services being given to her after the placement of Carly.

But the reverse is true also- she never accused them of not offering this service to her either. I have no doubt that Cate didn't use it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't offered to her.

 

Look, there are a ton of unscrupulous adoption agencies, and by multiple accounts, Bethany is one of them. That said, if there was ever a time Bethany would be motivated to play by the book, it would be when the birth mother's experience was being televised for a nationally airing show.

 

I didn't watch much of Teen Mom, so I don't know what Cate's comments were then, but if Dawn led her to believe she'd be able to see Carly whenever she wanted, the comments Cate made during filming of 16 and Pregnant are pretty much contradictory to that. It seems to me more likely that as Cate got more attention and validation from her logic challenged fans, she started to think she should be given access to Carly, not stemming from Dawn intentionally misleading her before the decision to place Carly was final.

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9 minutes ago, Tatum said:

It seems to me more likely that as Cate got more attention and validation from her logic challenged fans, she started to think she should be given access to Carly, not stemming from Dawn intentionally misleading her before the decision to place Carly was final.

This makes a lot of sense thank you. 
 

 

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“Open adoption” were the buzz words at the time of the adoption, I seem to recall. I also recall it being pointed out by posters back in the day, that there actually is no such enforceable thing.

 

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2 hours ago, Scarlett45 said:

Based on what I remembered of the episodes- Catelynn was under the impression that Dawn was her advocate, when legally no, Dawn worked for Bethanny, Bethanny's goal was to place children for adoption. After the papers were signed (in the parking lot, I felt awful for Catelynn there), Catelynn had all sorts of expectations about her future visits with Carly and Dawn had to explain things to her again. 

It could be that Dawn did clearly explain the guidelines and what the actual consequences were of the adoption, and Catelynn just didnt want to listen (denial) but given that Catelynn had something Dawn (and Bethanny as an organization) desperately wanted- a healthy white infant to place for adoption, I can believe Catelynn was mislead. She was an uneducated 16yrs old girl, with no adult support from her family of origin, it would be very easy to mislead her- the power differential was too great. 

Where did she get the idea that she would be able to visit Carly regularly etc if she was explicitly told otherwise? B&T originally wanted a closed adoption, but realized they were never going to get a birth mom in 2009 to chose them if they said that, so they amended their preferences.

Why didnt Catelynn have a social worker or something as an advocate for her during this process? Why didnt Bethanny offer her counseling after placement?

Catelynn did consider abortion, but she said the risk of the complications scared her and she didnt want to have one. April and Butch were damn awful, Catelynn was basically raising Nick, they wanted her to raise another baby too?

 

Oh I remember 100%. Tyler was the one pushing for the adoption, Catelynn was on the fence. 

For the record- I am not insinuating B&T have done ANYTHING wrong. They have been MORE than generous and reasonable with C&T, but as we can see, they value their social media clout over some kind of relationship with Carly, or the chance for their other kids to know Carly before they reach adulthood.

In practice, a professional social worker is supposed to honor her clients’ wants and needs above all, and help them to come to an education decision. For example, I worked at Planned Parenthood, and although the clinic did offer abortions, I never ever encouraged pregnant woman to choose abortion as an option, even though I did work for PP. The patients always came first. We used to do a lot of pregnancy tests, and when I gave the patient her results, if positive, I would discuss ALL of her options - continuing the pregnancy, adoption, and abortion. If the patient wanted to talk more about any option or wanted resources/referrals for related services, I provided those. So Dawn as a social worker should have practiced with those same ethics in mind. Whether she did or not, I have no idea. I later worked for Catholic Charities, on a project within Catholic high schools. I had a student that asked for a test, asked me for referrals for abortion, and I provided them. She called me from clinic and told me they wouldn’t allow her to have the abortion - she was already 6 months pregnant! And she had no idea. Anyway, after he school and my agency found out, there were people who weren’t too happy with the abortion referral, etc. But even though I worked for Catholic Charities (maybe similar to Bethany in some ways), my profession requires me to put the clients’ needs and education first. I hope Dawn did so.

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11 hours ago, Tatum said:

But the reverse is true also- she never accused them of not offering this service to her either. I have no doubt that Cate didn't use it, but that doesn't mean it wasn't offered to her.

Kinko’s Kathy has entered the chat. 
 

But seriously, for all of Catelyn’s mental health issues, she’s never taken serious and dedicated measures to help herself.  Cate’s solutions have been to run off to a luxury spa a few times with no aftercare and to show up late (and get upset because they wouldn’t take her late) at a psychiatrist.  Oh and the horse.

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2 hours ago, geauxaway said:

Kinko’s Kathy has entered the chat. 
 

I don't know what this means?

 

Cate probably isn't a good candidate for therapy. She wants a quick fix. I hear it all the time..."I already tried therapy" or "therapy didn't work for me." Well, no, if your expectation was you'd meet with a therapist and after a session or two, the therapist would be able to tell exactly what ails you, how to fix all your problems, and how to instruct you to do it in a way that guarantees you will do it, then yeah,  I can see how you'd be disappointed with therapy. It's probably the same with Cate. Therapy is a long, slow process with lots of trial and error.

 

I think Cate wants to feel better, but in the age of instant gratification, she's not willing to put in the time or the work. Much easier to run off to a spa or buy more crap.

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2 minutes ago, Tatum said:

 

2 hours ago, geauxaway said:

Kinko’s Kathy has entered the chat. 
 

I don't

 

 

2 minutes ago, Tatum said:

I don't know what this means?

Sorry, way back in the day Cate and Ty were seeing a therapist called Kathy and she sat in a very small closet like office with a huge xerox machine right behind her.  Kinkos Kathy was a nickname people on here have her.   I was trying to make a funny.

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No amount of therapy is going to help Cate. Her issue is regretting giving up Carly. If Carly will not have the type of relationship Cate craves she will snap. If Tyler leaves her she will snap. 
 

Cate will never get over giving up Carly. Ever. 

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2 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

So it’s nice to see he is prioritizing things before the birth of another child…instead of getting a job or training for a career that can give his family security and provide for them, he’s working out and getting a buff bod. 

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3 hours ago, BrownBear2012 said:

So it’s nice to see he is prioritizing things before the birth of another child…instead of getting a job or training for a career that can give his family security and provide for them, he’s working out and getting a buff bod. 

why would he train for a career at this point though? he has a career-- it's mtv. he's making far more doing a reality show than he would at a normal job. i think we all need to stop expecting this show to be canceled, it's gone on for 10 years now. even if the show gets canceled, they'll shill stuff for insta-- they all have dedicated fans who'll buy those products. sadly (i'm an old so i think it's ridiculous) that is a lucrative career path these days

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Regarding Cate getting counseling from Bethenny Services.  I’m not going to go back and watch, but I remember Cate going to a BS retreat with other teens who chose adoption.  I think she turned down a few before finally going to one, at Dawn’s encouragement.  And, Dawn regularly checked in with both of them.  IMO, BS did what I would expect an agency to do by having periodic check-ins with the birth parents and provide them opportunities to talk to peers and others at their agency.  If Cate, or any birth parent, needed true mental health resources that’s not something I think should be an agency’s job.  That should be between the minor, their parent and their doctors.  YMMV.

Where I lived, open adoption was a fairly new concept at the time and not well defined.  The general expectation was information sharing via pics and letters.  There were people who did in person visits and had extended family type relationships, but that was rare.  IIRC, in the beginning Cate and Tyler had to give anything they wanted to send to Carly to Dawn to send on for them.  They were not allowed to have any direct contact with B&T or Carly.  If this is correct it is believable to me that at the time of adoption Cate understood this and did not expect regular in person visits.  I agree with @Tatum that Cate and Tyler developed expectations and a sense of entitlement to Carly later.

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On 6/12/2021 at 5:51 AM, evilmindatwork said:

why would he train for a career at this point though? he has a career-- it's mtv. he's making far more doing a reality show than he would at a normal job. i think we all need to stop expecting this show to be canceled, it's gone on for 10 years now. even if the show gets canceled, they'll shill stuff for insta-- they all have dedicated fans who'll buy those products. sadly (i'm an old so i think it's ridiculous) that is a lucrative career path these days

Let us not forget his inspiring poetry!  And his photography!( meaning his self posed pics of his “hot”bod and cool tats!!) I mean his talent is endless!

🤢

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Video hunk 🤮 

 

Haha haha Tyler is no hunk

Anyways it feels like Cate has been pregnant for 2 years. When is little Grezemelda be born?

I cannot wait to find out the ridiculous name they give her.

Bertha?

Beula?

 

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10 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

Video hunk 🤮 

 

Haha haha Tyler is no hunk

Anyways it feels like Cate has been pregnant for 2 years. When is little Grezemelda be born?

I cannot wait to find out the ridiculous name they give her.

Bertha?

Beula?

 

So Tyler bulked up and Caitlin got bigger.

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20 hours ago, iwantcookies said:

EED7216C-705D-4831-B053-37967A004389.jpeg

Total click bait. Tyler’s sister relapsed. Baby due in September. It’s their last baby 

blah blah blah

shame on cate to imply that butch died!

Wow, That's a new low. Even for her.

 

Actually, I guess it's not as bad as continuing to have kids you have no interest in raising. But it's right up there.

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45 minutes ago, Snarky McSnarky said:

Icing on the cake:  "Your love is my desert."

desert.jpg

Found on Reddit:

dessert.jpg

🤢🙄🤪 to infinity 

Baby R mmm let’s try to guess her name 

 

Ryler 

Rylynn 

Roxy

Rex

Rhonda

Rydell

Rowan

 

Riley 

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Ryler.....heee heeeee

I doubt there would be anything ending in a classic "y".  It will have to be "eigh" or "ee". Or even "eeeigh". 

Perhaps Rayven, Ryatt, Radisson (Radysynn?), Rebel, Ripleigh, Rhianna ir something with River in it, such as Riverlynn? Riverlynn....a new pharmaceutical.

I could make fun of baby names ALL day long.

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1 hour ago, AhFillAck said:

Ryler.....heee heeeee

I doubt there would be anything ending in a classic "y".  It will have to be "eigh" or "ee". Or even "eeeigh". 

Perhaps Rayven, Ryatt, Radisson (Radysynn?), Rebel, Ripleigh, Rhianna ir something with River in it, such as Riverlynn? Riverlynn....a new pharmaceutical.

I could make fun of baby names ALL day long.

Rhyvee like the grocery store Hyvee

lol

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