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Catelynn (and Tyler)


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Don't get me wrong, I understand that having a baby and being a stay at home mom can make a schedule busy, but in Cate's case, I think she relies on excuses when it comes to her weight. It's like the old saying - who wants to succeed, finds a way, who doesn't want to, finds an excuse. Let's not forget that she complained about Carly post-baby weight after several years until Weight Watchers. To me, she is just lazy and now she can back it up with a new excuse.

It's like - he married me, now I can relax and stay this way. What about her health? It's pure abuse of it.

I noticed at her bachlorette party that 90 percent of her friends are overweight, a couple of them I would call obese so she probably doesn't have a lot of support amongst her friends. It makes me so sad to see such young women be so big, I noticed that most of them smoke too. It's sad to me.

Another poster said that Cate looks more like Tyler's mom than his wife, I have to agree. She has such an old lady style.

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I noticed at her bachlorette party that 90 percent of her friends are overweight, a couple of them I would call obese so she probably doesn't have a lot of support amongst her friends. It makes me so sad to see such young women be so big, I noticed that most of them smoke too. It's sad to me.

Another poster said that Cate looks more like Tyler's mom than his wife, I have to agree. She has such an old lady style.

Maybe that's why her house is decorated similarly to my great grandmothers with those lace valences... Maybe Jessa Duggar could come show her how to staple some more modern fabrics, like something in a chevron stripe above the window as a valence (sorry I couldn't resist the crossover value in that, but that won't make sense if you didn't watch the Duggars recent special)

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Kailyn seems obsessed with chevrons.

Now Cateynn is trying to backpedal and say she wasn't upset about the strip club, that it was "editing."

I love when these people try to tell you a different story than you saw with your own eyes

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Did anyone catch the repeat of the episode "Playing For Keeps" before the new episode?  The screen was filled with a questions and answers, sort of a pop quiz about the various players on this show. There was one question that read "What is one thing Catelynn wants the viewers to know about Tyler?" The answer was "He gets extremely angry."  Then, it was followed up with "Catelynn feels she is the only one who can calm him down" something to that effect. 

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I've seen the little bastards temper when he abused that poor dog. The way the dog would cower anytime Tyler got near it showed me that it wasn't a one time thing. I've never liked the guy, even say back when when everybody thought he was so great, I knew there was a total asshole lurking inside.

I don't understand why people were all up in arms when Jenelle did what she did to her dogs but nobody said anything when Tyler did the same thing.

He makes me sick, I can't wait for the day this show ends and he has to face reality that his life sucks.

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I've noticed that Tyler is quick to judge other women, either for being in sex work (Farrah), or calling them whores (in the latest video about temptation I just saw), but had no problem being with strippers. I guess it's only okay if it's for his benefit.

I seriously thought I liked this guy when I started watching the show, but now he is giving me major squick vibes. 

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I've seen the little bastards temper when he abused that poor dog. The way the dog would cower anytime Tyler got near it showed me that it wasn't a one time thing. I've never liked the guy, even say back when when everybody thought he was so great, I knew there was a total asshole lurking inside.

I don't understand why people were all up in arms when Jenelle did what she did to her dogs but nobody said anything when Tyler did the same thing.

He makes me sick, I can't wait for the day this show ends and he has to face reality that his life sucks.

I remember a lot of people being up in arms about how he treated that dog. I haven't forgotten about that and in fact, when I saw the little pop-up quiz on the screen about Tyler's temper I immediately thought "duh!" we know about it because of that dog scene from a few seasons ago. 

 

Yes, thank you for mentioning the whole hypocrisy on Tyler and even Catelynn's part for wanting to be at a strip joint, but having a different attitude towards Farrah for her porn tape. The sex industry includes strip joints. Women, and men, are being paid to show off their goods, their moves, their bodies and to entice people to give them major tips. Butch asking for oral from a stripper was the worst. We know how he views females and no doubt he passed that on to his son who himself refers to women as whores as MrsSlinky pointed out. 

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I don't remember, but then again I don't remember what happened 5 minutes ago. We were still at TWoP back then weren't we?

When I said people were up in arms about Jenelle but not Tyler, I meant the general public, not us here. People called Animal Services on Jenelle but I don't remember anybody talking about that with Tyler.

I just really hope he has more patience with Nova than he does with the dogs.

Is the baby's name Nova or Novalee? They call her Nova but I remember them saying they were naming her Novalee (Novaleigh?).

Edited by Maharincess
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I don't remember, but then again I don't remember what happened 5 minutes ago. We were still at TWoP back then weren't we?

When I said people were up in arms about Jenelle but not Tyler, I meant the general public, not us here. People called Animal Services on Jenelle but I don't remember anybody talking about that with Tyler.

I just really hope he has more patience with Nova than he does with the dogs.

Is the baby's name Nova or Novalee? They call her Nova but I remember them saying they were naming her Novalee (Novaleigh?).

Novalee...please do not include my name (leigh) with that mess... Lol (I'm completely joking I don't actually care about the spelling)

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Kailyn seems obsessed with chevrons.

Now Cateynn is trying to backpedal and say she wasn't upset about the strip club, that it was "editing."

I love when these people try to tell you a different story than you saw with your own eyes

I think the walls of Kail's living room are painted chevron. For A teenager's room, maybe, but it just seemed to trendy for a living room. It will look dated in less than 5 years. But she'll probably move by then anyway.

Catelynn was trying HARD to make the joint party happen. If she wasn't concerned at all about the strip club, why would she try so hard? If anything that just makes her come across as more clingy. A lot of women can relate to being jealous of their husband looking at other women, but being jealous of him just going anywhere without you is crazy.

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Did anyone catch the repeat of the episode "Playing For Keeps" before the new episode? The screen was filled with a questions and answers, sort of a pop quiz about the various players on this show. There was one question that read "What is one thing Catelynn wants the viewers to know about Tyler?" The answer was "He gets extremely angry." Then, it was followed up with "Catelynn feels she is the only one who can calm him down" something to that effect.

So basically Tyler is a douche that can't/won't control his bitch fits, and Catelynn convinces him/herself/no one that because of their sooper speshul twu wuv she can fix him? Good luck with that, cupcake.

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I've never understood the strip club jealousy thing, or jealousy when a guy/girl looks at somebody of the opposite sex and finds them attractive. If a person is secure in their relationship that stuff won't matter. My husband went to a birthday party at a strip club a few years ago, I snuck into the club and bought him a lap dance. I described the type of girl he finds attractive, paid for it and left. All of his friends told him that I'm the best wife ever.

I also point out good looking women to him when we're out and about.

I just think if you're in a relationship where you're constantly jealous, its time to get out of that relationship.

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https://www.facebook.com/teenmom/videos/10153212667112343/

 

I didn't know if you guys saw this video, but this is where he called women who hit on married men whores. My other problem with this was he seemed really focused on looks, and I can't believe he didn't come out and say "Other's may not find Cate attractive, but to me she is beautiful" or something. It was almost like he was like "Yea she may not be good looking, but at least she isn't A WHORE". Maybe that was just me, but it just made me really uncomfortable. Like "I love my woman because she knows how to be a proper lady, and blah blah blah". How about you stop judging women, and stop acting like you are superior.

Also lets be honest, a lot of women act like he is amazing because of how he looks. I mean I will admit I found him attractive at one point, but his personality really takes away from that. He comes off as hating women who don't fit a role he deems fit. 

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Something Tyler once said has really stuck with me. It was the episode where April was telling them what Butch had done to her. She showed them the huge bruise on her arm, the hole in the bathroom wall where he bashed her head and was telling how he wrapped a towel around her neck and was choking her*.

Tyler said "that's a lot different than him 'just' slapping you around". The way he said it made it sound like he thought it would be OK if she had "just" been slapped around.

*That bullshit, along with the fact that he's been a deadbeat convict dad is why I will never, ever understand the love that Butch gets. He disgusts me. Maybe it's the fact that I escaped an abusive marriage but I will never find an abuser like him charming or funny or anything. I wish he'd go away.

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Wow I'd forgotten a lot of that stuff about Tyler - too many episodes ago, I guess. I always got a scary vibe from him but I wasn't sure why. Subconsciously I probably remembered those episodes. What scumbags - Tyler and Butch both, IMO.

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https://www.facebook.com/teenmom/videos/10153212667112343/

 

I didn't know if you guys saw this video, but this is where he called women who hit on married men whores. My other problem with this was he seemed really focused on looks, and I can't believe he didn't come out and say "Other's may not find Cate attractive, but to me she is beautiful" or something. It was almost like he was like "Yea she may not be good looking, but at least she isn't A WHORE". Maybe that was just me, but it just made me really uncomfortable. Like "I love my woman because she knows how to be a proper lady, and blah blah blah". How about you stop judging women, and stop acting like you are superior.

Also lets be honest, a lot of women act like he is amazing because of how he looks. I mean I will admit I found him attractive at one point, but his personality really takes away from that. He comes off as hating women who don't fit a role he deems fit. 

I think Tyler's actions and a lot of his behavior were carefully edited out. These were the Teen Mom "sweethearts" who had to rise above it all including placing a child up for adoption.

 

I have to wonder why is it Catelynn is wanting the viewers to know Tyler has a bad temper. What does she get out of revealing that about him? As I noted, it isn't as if we didn't get a glimpse of that temper, but obviously there is a lot more that has not been shown and Catelynn, for whatever reason, wants us to know this about him. Out of all the things you want to share with the viewers, you want to inform us that your man can be volatile? That is so strange to me. And the response she gave about being able to calm him down leads me back to what I posted before about Catelynn having a big heart and being a forgiving person. I posted she likely blames his temper on his upbringing, an upbringing she was a part of and is fully aware of what he had to endure. The thing is, Cate had to endure it as well. 

Edited by GreatKazu
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The preview that shows Cate saying "I get to see both of my daughters together, but then I only get to bring one of them home" has me seeing red... This quote is exactly why she maybe shouldn't be involved in Carly's life. CARLY IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!! You gave birth to her, but Teresa is her mother, Carly is TERESA's daughter.

I feel a little mean, I'm sure adoption is complicated with a lot of different feelings and emotions that likely conflict each other, there is probably no neat and tidy way to handle it, but she and Tyler have got to stop referring to Carly as their daughter. I don't want to belittle the sacrifice birth mothers make, I completely respect it and find it admirable that they recognize they can't be the best for the child whatever the reason, and give the child a better life. If somone chooses an open adoption and to have the birth mother involved to a degree that is their decision, but I feel like in this case it is more damaging than good. Cate and Tyler clearly don't have appropriate boundaries, they fantasize about Carly spending time with them, when she likely won't be coming to stay with them in the summer or overnight visits.

I feel for Cate, I really do, when I say I'm angry about this, it isn't necessarily angry at her, if that makes sense. I feel like they were done a huge disservice whether by the adoption agency, or whatever, but they clearly do not understand adoption. Everyone around them is so delusional about the matter, i honestly respect how Brandon and Teresa handle this, if it were me I don't think I would be so gracious, and the adoption would have been closed long ago. I know it would be incredibly hard but I really think cutting off contact with Carly would be the most humane thing to do in this case, so everyone could heal and move on. It's not really possible at this point, especially as Carly is old enough to remember Cate and Tyler and ask questions as to why they are no longer involved (I don't know that she would though)

I'm sorry for the rant, it just makes me so mad that even 6-7 years later Cate and Tyler refer to Carly as theirs.

I think it was wrong to have an open adoption at the teen age unlike, let's say, at some adult age. She gave birth to her, of course letting go was hard despite that Carly was given soon!! I think it is a bit of a traumatic experience for Cate and that she regrets it. They both act like they respect boundaries (and Cate does in terms of knowing how to be in that relationship with Theresa and limit her expectations, putting the objective ones before her wishful ones) and that they are aware what adoption is , but when Cate refers to Carly as her daughter, it's clear that she doesn't believe, better yet accept, that Carly is someone else's daughter. Imagine what would B&T think if they saw that! I also agree that their families aren't helping at all, just fueling their delusion. Carly must be already confused and like I said before, B&T really need to pull the plug soon. To me they aren't too nice to do it, it's more that they are too sympathetic (especially Theresa with Cate) for their own good. They should be done with them and not have a contact unless adult Carly wants them to. They thanked them for their amazing deed, but it should end there!

Now Cateynn is trying to backpedal and say she wasn't upset about the strip club, that it was "editing."

I love when these people try to tell you a different story than you saw with your own eyes

She is trying to play it cool now, just like Tyler wanted at the time he asked about it. She is ridiculous, because she made all those faces while talking about the topic and she was the one to spoke about her doubts about the strippers. Come on, her behavior that night told it all!! She was scared to see her man and some grinding dancer upon him!! Editing can't make up all that, no matter how good it is. I can see how she's not that much cool of a person to be okay with it, mostly because of her own insecurities, so it is strange how she feels the need to put it out there - hey, I'm ok with it, it's no big deal. Hearing that after we saw the clips, to me it that sounds like it was a peer pressure - too many people afterwards probably told her: See? It wasn't that bad. You were afraid for nothing.

I also apologize for my rant.

Edited by EuropeanGirl
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https://www.facebook.com/teenmom/videos/10153212667112343/

 

I didn't know if you guys saw this video, but this is where he called women who hit on married men whores. My other problem with this was he seemed really focused on looks, and I can't believe he didn't come out and say "Other's may not find Cate attractive, but to me she is beautiful" or something. It was almost like he was like "Yea she may not be good looking, but at least she isn't A WHORE". Maybe that was just me, but it just made me really uncomfortable. Like "I love my woman because she knows how to be a proper lady, and blah blah blah". How about you stop judging women, and stop acting like you are superior.

Also lets be honest, a lot of women act like he is amazing because of how he looks. I mean I will admit I found him attractive at one point, but his personality really takes away from that. He comes off as hating women who don't fit a role he deems fit. 

 

tyler has always struck me as extremely fake.

 

he's famous b/c of Cate and Carly... he's americas sweetheart. He feeds off that. he feeds off millions of young girls thinking he is great. i think he gets off on the feeling of superiority in people thinking he's too good looking for Cate. that video came off as so narcissistic. He talks about how looks dont matter but you watch the show and he's always makes sure to be done up with nice clothes, hair slicked back perfectly, earrings on and jewelry... meanwhile Cate is on the couch taking care of the baby and not herself. Cate to me seems like the one who doesn't care about looks. She lets the cameras see the real her, no makeup like the other girls, nothing fake about her. she has her own issues, but shes real.

Edited by EDTV
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how many times did we see tyler hold the wedding over Cate's head? how many times did he take back the ring when Cate "messed up"? It's all a power trip for Tyler I think. He gets off on feeling superior, like Cate is lucky to have him. I think for sure he could get a more attractive girl, but he'd lose that "power", that feeling of being better, and I don't think he'd want that.

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Yeah, Tyler probably has girls hit on him all the time.  I really hate the way Tyler has been with Brandon and Teresa.  I can tell Cate always thinks about what is best for Carly and little Novalee, while Tyler only seems to care about his fame.  I hardly ever see him take care of the baby.

 

I am sure Cate let that thing about his temper slip to try to put out there that they have a very special bond, which is she does all the work (including earn the money, since she is the actual "Teen Mom" not Tyler) and he walks around like he is too good to be with her.

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Did you guys see the rest of the Q&A

 

There was this gem in there
 

Q: What will you do if Brandon and Theresa cut you off totally, from seeing Carly? You guys are the best couple on the show..They need to get rid of Farrah…

A: If they ever did that (Which I don’t think they would) I would be heartbroken but would also start preparing for Carly to come find me one day, by writing her letters & saving them. Buying her gifts & saving them. Pretty much make a Carly room so that when she does come find me, she will know I wasn’t the one who cut her off. It was her parents & then her disappointment will be on them. They will have to explain to a little girl why they cut us off & they will have to deal with the consequences.

I wonder if that was directed towards them, as a way to be like "This is what will happen if you guys do" >.>

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Why is April and her husband living with Cate and Tyler now? There is a clip on MTV where Butch moves into a pop up in the driveway because they're inside. Didn't we just see them drop Nova off to April in a nice house with fish tanks? I'm confused.

 

Edit - Clip on Facebook Teen Mom page

Edited by citychic
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Did you guys see the rest of the Q&A

There was this gem in there

Q: What will you do if Brandon and Theresa cut you off totally, from seeing Carly? You guys are the best couple on the show..They need to get rid of Farrah…

A: If they ever did that (Which I don’t think they would) I would be heartbroken but would also start preparing for Carly to come find me one day, by writing her letters & saving them. Buying her gifts & saving them. Pretty much make a Carly room so that when she does come find me, she will know I wasn’t the one who cut her off. It was her parents & then her disappointment will be on them. They will have to explain to a little girl why they cut us off & they will have to deal with the consequences.

I wonder if that was directed towards them, as a way to be like "This is what will happen if you guys do" >.>

But what happens if Carly wants nothing to do with you? One day Carly will see your actions c&t

I don't care if Catlin calls Carly her daughter. A lot of birthmothers do. I do have a problem with her guilting an innocent child. I can imagine Catelynn telling Nova how she can't see her older I sister because her adoptive parents are horrible. Catelynn isn't her mother. She's a birth mom, but Teresa is her mother. Brandon is Carly's father. To dimish their role is selfish and disgusting. If you wanted your girls together than you could've chosen parenting instead of adoption. Carly has a family that loves her. I think C&T are going to be in a huge shock if Carly resents them or doesn't want a relationship with them. I mean she's going to see this one day

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Don't get me wrong, I understand that having a baby and being a stay at home mom can make a schedule busy, but in Cate's case, I think she relies on excuses when it comes to her weight. It's like the old saying - who wants to succeed, finds a way, who doesn't want to, finds an excuse. Let's not forget that she complained about Carly post-baby weight after several years until Weight Watchers. To me, she is just lazy and now she can back it up with a new excuse.

It's like - he married me, now I can relax and stay this way. What about her health? It's pure abuse of it.

Yup, motivation is not a strong point of Catelynn's. 

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I think Tyler's actions and a lot of his behavior were carefully edited out. These were the Teen Mom "sweethearts" who had to rise above it all including placing a child up for adoption.

 

I have to wonder why is it Catelynn is wanting the viewers to know Tyler has a bad temper. What does she get out of revealing that about him? As I noted, it isn't as if we didn't get a glimpse of that temper, but obviously there is a lot more that has not been shown and Catelynn, for whatever reason, wants us to know this about him. Out of all the things you want to share with the viewers, you want to inform us that your man can be volatile? That is so strange to me. And the response she gave about being able to calm him down leads me back to what I posted before about Catelynn having a big heart and being a forgiving person. I posted she likely blames his temper on his upbringing, an upbringing she was a part of and is fully aware of what he had to endure. The thing is, Cate had to endure it as well. 

Oh, I completely agree. I've thought this for years, you don't come from that kind of background without some remaining battle scars as an adult. He and Catelynn can talk all the shit they want about how they "beat the odds" and "rose above" their upbringing, but who knows who he woulda been without the show? Who knows who she woulda been? It's not like they got famous for doing something extraordinary, they got famous for becoming yet another teen statistic...

 

And yes, that is very bizarre that of all things she'd want the world to know about her man, she'd say he has a temper.  

Edited by SheTalksShit
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https://www.facebook.com/teenmom/videos/10153212667112343/

 

I didn't know if you guys saw this video, but this is where he called women who hit on married men whores. My other problem with this was he seemed really focused on looks, and I can't believe he didn't come out and say "Other's may not find Cate attractive, but to me she is beautiful" or something. It was almost like he was like "Yea she may not be good looking, but at least she isn't A WHORE". Maybe that was just me, but it just made me really uncomfortable. Like "I love my woman because she knows how to be a proper lady, and blah blah blah". How about you stop judging women, and stop acting like you are superior.

Also lets be honest, a lot of women act like he is amazing because of how he looks. I mean I will admit I found him attractive at one point, but his personality really takes away from that. He comes off as hating women who don't fit a role he deems fit. 

OMG I just watched, he basically said he knows she's not good-looking and he's sick of hearing about it. It's almost like he doesn't like to be reminded that he "settled," so to speak. 

 

And then he says, "my advice to all your girls is don't settle for a guy just because he's good looking..." they didn't ask for your advice, douchebag. this is where I get annoyed w/Catelynn and Tyler, they act like they're these role models who are there to "guide" other teens who "look up to them" about how to live "the right way." Tyler, especially, is the worst w/this. STFU up and live your life and answer fans questions if you want, but stop acting like you know it all. 

Edited by SheTalksShit
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I agree that looks matter to him. But I don't think he likes to admit it. I don't think he gets off on what people say about Catelynn because he doesn't like to be reminded that he settled and I do think he loves Catelynn, but I don't think he's IN LOVE with her, if that makes sense. I think he feels guilty. Did you ever watch them on Couples Therapy? Tyler broke off the engagement after telling the therapist, "I always told myself I'd never settle and, I don't know, I feel like she demotivates and sometimes I feel like I'm just tolerating her..." and then hastily added in, "and her, too, I think sometimes she's just tolerating me," as if he didn't wanna cut to the core of the matter, that he's out of her league and he (and everyone else) knows it. 

 

He also told the therapist he was scared because, like you said, he's America's sweetheart, he and Catelynn are America's Perfect Couple Who Beat the Odds. And you can tell Tyler cares what people think of him, he wants to be liked, he doesn't wanna be seen as a superficial jackass. He basically said he was scared to breakup w/her because he was scared of what people would think of him. 

 

I think he ended up marrying her because Catelynn is safe, the show was renewed and she's his meal ticket. 

tyler has always struck me as extremely fake.

 

he's famous b/c of Cate and Carly... he's americas sweetheart. He feeds off that. he feeds off millions of young girls thinking he is great. i think he gets off on the feeling of superiority in people thinking he's too good looking for Cate. that video came off as so narcissistic. He talks about how looks dont matter but you watch the show and he's always makes sure to be done up with nice clothes, hair slicked back perfectly, earrings on and jewelry... meanwhile Cate is on the couch taking care of the baby and not herself. Cate to me seems like the one who doesn't care about looks. She lets the cameras see the real her, no makeup like the other girls, nothing fake about her. she has her own issues, but shes real.

Edited by SheTalksShit
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OMG I just watched, he basically said he knows she's not good-looking and he's sick of hearing about it. It's almost like he doesn't like to be reminded that he "settled," so to speak.

I had to watch it after your comment :) Oh, my God!! We will eventually all gonna look old when we're 75-80 years old? Really, Tyler, that's what you're going with? First of all, she is too young to look that old and it's not the nature of getting older that brought that look upon her (jerk!).

Second of all, she is risking not only her health, but also making herself a perfect candidate for horrible deceases like heart attack by packing on pounds and making unhealthy choices. It's not about if she's attractive or not, what she's doing it's just not healthy and if you ask me, pretty selfish, since she should want not only to be an example for her daughter, but actually stick around to see her grow up.

Third, there was a time that she actually shed pounds and felt healthier and good about herself. Why aren't you motivating her and supporting her to go that path again?

Fourth, I know you're consoling yourself with this myth, but you can actually meet a person that is nice on the eyes and has all those traits you mentioned.

And finally, fifth, the way you're always looking perfect by your standards is calling you on this whole thing. It's obvious looks are very important to you more than you're aware of it.

 

As for the Couples therapy thing, he just completed my puzzle about him and their whole relationship. I feel sorry for them both.

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Oh, and another thing - the way he talked, his gestures, all of that combined, he really strikes me as a proud role model. He actually believes it!! No modesty what so ever. I agree with the poster above who said that he looks extremely fake.

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Oh, and another thing - the way he talked, his gestures, all of that combined, he really strikes me as a proud role model. He actually believes it!! No modesty what so ever. I agree with the poster above who said that he looks extremely fake.

 

this is a guy that almost got the adoption closed because he insisted on posting videos of Carly online. Almost had Carly closed off from Catelynn... Because him making videos of Carly in private isn't enough, he has to post on social media and get the "likes" that he seems to get off on so much. Almost as if he doesn't post them online, then they mean nothing.

 

You see that facebook video where he "defends" Cate by basically admitting she's ugly... and he immediately gets thousands of people (mostly young women) telling him how great and amazing he is. It's so obvious what his motives are, he's a social media whore. He actually seems like a low sex drive kinda guy, which is why he's probably able to be faithful. I've never really seen him interested in any woman, not even Cate. i don't think he's gay, I think he's just one of those rare low sex drive guys. But it amazes me that people can't see through him.

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Did you guys see the rest of the Q&A

There was this gem in there

Q: What will you do if Brandon and Theresa cut you off totally, from seeing Carly? You guys are the best couple on the show..They need to get rid of Farrah…

A: If they ever did that (Which I don’t think they would) I would be heartbroken but would also start preparing for Carly to come find me one day, by writing her letters & saving them. Buying her gifts & saving them. Pretty much make a Carly room so that when she does come find me, she will know I wasn’t the one who cut her off. It was her parents & then her disappointment will be on them. They will have to explain to a little girl why they cut us off & they will have to deal with the consequences.

I wonder if that was directed towards them, as a way to be like "This is what will happen if you guys do" >.>

Omg. I thought this was a joke response someone typed up to be funny. A Carly room????!!!! That is absolutely insane. I thought the blanket with Carly's giant face on it was the craziest thing but this is worse.

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As an adopted child, I would be furious if my bio family referred to me as their child, sibling, what have you. My siblings and I know we were blessed to have been adopted by the most wonderful people. Their love and hard work every single day reminded us of how much they loved us. We miss them every single day. They informed us long ago that if we ever wanted to seek out our bio parents, they would give us whatever information they had on them and they would not keep us from seeking them out. None of us sought out our bio parents. Mind you, I am only using the term "bio parents" to keep my post clear. Those people are not my parents. They are the people who gave me up for adoption. My parents are the ones who put a roof over my head, kept me fed, loved and tended to me when I was sick. They paid for my school and education. They taught me lessons and gave me a wonderful childhood. One of my siblings had her bio mother seek her out. As kind and loving as my sibling's bio mother was, my sibling just couldn't handle having a relationship with her. 

 

Tyler needs therapy. His idea that his child is his daughter and that he will have a room saved up for her reeks of desperation and possessiveness. I think he also feels guilty for having placed her for adoption. With the constant reminders around them of Carly whether it is filming this show or having a relative mention Carly as a granddaughter or cousin, it is like a cut that has never healed properly. It is just infected. 

Edited by SPLAIN
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Just what is it Tyler and Cate preach when they do these "Talks" for Bethany?  Does Bethany approve of them getting on stage in front of prospective adoptive parents and going on and on about HIS daughter?  Does Cate talk to them about how she keeps a Carly room?

 

I'd be terrified if I heard the two of them talking.  Am I just a babysitter for 18 years for a child I thought I was adopting?  I wonder which version of their adoption story they tell to the audience.  The version where placing Carly was the best thing they ever did for her or the version where BrandonandTeresa ought to be more thankful that Tyler gave them something they couldn't achieve on their own.

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Wow so Tyler straight up admitted he doesn't think Catelynn is attractive? Say what? I'm no Rihanna, but I at least expect my boyfriend to find me attractive...like WTF?

I think Tyler wanted to end things with Catelynn and have it appear mutual but he realized that she is stuck to him like Velcro. The only way to break it off would have been for him to call it off and he can't deal with being seen as anything less than perfect. Did they plan Nova?

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I think it was wrong to have an open adoption at the teen age unlike, let's say, at some adult age. She gave birth to her, of course letting go was hard despite that Carly was given soon!! I think it is a bit of a traumatic experience for Cate and that she regrets it. They both act like they respect boundaries (and Cate does in terms of knowing how to be in that relationship with Theresa and limit her expectations, putting the objective ones before her wishful ones) and that they are aware what adoption is , but when Cate refers to Carly as her daughter, it's clear that she doesn't believe, better yet accept, that Carly is someone else's daughter. Imagine what would B&T think if they saw that! I also agree that their families aren't helping at all, just fueling their delusion. Carly must be already confused and like I said before, B&T really need to pull the plug soon. To me they aren't too nice to do it, it's more that they are too sympathetic (especially Theresa with Cate) for their own good. They should be done with them and not have a contact unless adult Carly wants them to. They thanked them for their amazing deed, but it should end there!

She is trying to play it cool now, just like Tyler wanted at the time he asked about it. She is ridiculous, because she made all those faces while talking about the topic and she was the one to spoke about her doubts about the strippers. Come on, her behavior that night told it all!! She was scared to see her man and some grinding dancer upon him!! Editing can't make up all that, no matter how good it is. I can see how she's not that much cool of a person to be okay with it, mostly because of her own insecurities, so it is strange how she feels the need to put it out there - hey, I'm ok with it, it's no big deal. Hearing that after we saw the clips, to me it that sounds like it was a peer pressure - too many people afterwards probably told her: See? It wasn't that bad. You were afraid for nothing.

I also apologize for my rant.

That's really weird, the top quote from you that doesn't have a name is something I said, but the bottom one that is attributed to me is not my quote (well unless I sleep post).

When I first read your comment I thought you were disagreeing about the boundaries, saying they do respect them, but I re-read what you wrote and I agree with you, they try to give the impression that they respect B&T, but at the end of the day, they don't, especially when they do things like bash them on national television because they asked to give Carly some privacy and not post pictures of her on social media.

I can't imagine the pain Catelynn likely feels over giving up Carly, especially because I don't believe she was as on board for the adoption as they make it seem. I don't mean to be cruel when I say B&T need to cut contact, but I don't even think it should be done for Carly's sake exclusively, I think it would be much healthier for Catelynn and Tyler to have some closure and really heal. In my opinion, it seems that Catelynn is repeatedly having that wound reopened because I feel she does on some level regret giving Carly up, especially now, they had no idea how successful the show would be, so had they kept her they may have been ok (although it wouldn't have changed the dysfunction of the environment around them). I don't believe open adoption is for everyone, and I feel like now in retrospect that Catelynn and Tyler may not have been great candidates for an open adoption. I have a friend who has an open adoption, her and her wife (they are lesbians) adopted twin girls, and maintain a relationship with the birth mom, from what I see in their case it works, the birth mom is okay keeping up with them but seems to have a good head on her shoulders that they are not hers and simply likes to see them grow. She has seemed to appropriately detached enough to not identify as the mother, while Catelynn has never seemed to let go, which undoubtedly causes pain. I don't believe this makes her "bad" or anything, but I guess what I am trying to say is that I think some people are better at cutting ties than others, and it's not necessarily a negative thing, it's just a personality difference... But in my opinion if that is a struggle for any given person, that maybe an open adoption is not a good alternative for them. I don't know that anything could have been done to predict that Catelynn would have such a hard time, but it would have beneficial to have a screening of some sort. Perhaps a psychologist could have interviewed the to see what they believed what would have come from the adoption, and based on their answers, maybe suggest they weren't good candidates for an open adoption, if that's the case.

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I have never been really clear on this, are we allowed to discuss previews? I usually try to just wait for the actual show to come on, especially because MTV likes to show teasers that seem outrageous out of context, but aren't necessarily what they imply... But I'm going to go ahead and comment because this has been fairly well documented throughout the series, but I completely understand if it needs to be removed.

The preview that shows Cate saying "I get to see both of my daughters together, but then I only get to bring one of them home" has me seeing red... This quote is exactly why she maybe shouldn't be involved in Carly's life. CARLY IS NOT YOUR DAUGHTER!!!!!! You gave birth to her, but Teresa is her mother, Carly is TERESA's daughter.

I feel a little mean, I'm sure adoption is complicated with a lot of different feelings and emotions that likely conflict each other, there is probably no neat and tidy way to handle it, but she and Tyler have got to stop referring to Carly as their daughter. I don't want to belittle the sacrifice birth mothers make, I completely respect it and find it admirable that they recognize they can't be the best for the child whatever the reason, and give the child a better life. If somone chooses an open adoption and to have the birth mother involved to a degree that is their decision, but I feel like in this case it is more damaging than good. Cate and Tyler clearly don't have appropriate boundaries, they fantasize about Carly spending time with them, when she likely won't be coming to stay with them in the summer or overnight visits.

I feel for Cate, I really do, when I say I'm angry about this, it isn't necessarily angry at her, if that makes sense. I feel like they were done a huge disservice whether by the adoption agency, or whatever, but they clearly do not understand adoption. Everyone around them is so delusional about the matter, i honestly respect how Brandon and Teresa handle this, if it were me I don't think I would be so gracious, and the adoption would have been closed long ago. I know it would be incredibly hard but I really think cutting off contact with Carly would be the most humane thing to do in this case, so everyone could heal and move on. It's not really possible at this point, especially as Carly is old enough to remember Cate and Tyler and ask questions as to why they are no longer involved (I don't know that she would though)

I'm sorry for the rant, it just makes me so mad that even 6-7 years later Cate and Tyler refer to Carly as theirs.

This is your entire post on page 14th, I just quoted it partially. The first line about the open adoption I wrote was something I've been meaning to write here. It must be that we think alike then :)

As an adopted child, I would be furious if my bio family referred to me as their child, sibling, what have you. My siblings and I know we were blessed to have been adopted by the most wonderful people. Their love and hard work every single day reminded us of how much they loved us. We miss them every single day. They informed us long ago that if we ever wanted to seek out our bio parents, they would give us whatever information they had on them and they would not keep us from seeking them out. None of us sought out our bio parents. Mind you, I am only using the term "bio parents" to keep my post clear. Those people are not my parents. They are the people who gave me up for adoption. My parents are the ones who put a roof over my head, kept me fed, loved and tended to me when I was sick. They paid for my school and education. They taught me lessons and gave me a wonderful childhood. One of my siblings had her bio mother seek her out. As kind and loving as my sibling's bio mother was, my sibling just couldn't handle having a relationship with her.

Tyler needs therapy. His idea that his child is his daughter and that he will have a room saved up for her reeks of desperation and possessiveness. I think he also feels guilty for having placed her for adoption. With the constant reminders around them of Carly whether it is filming this show or having a relative mention Carly as a granddaughter or cousin, it is like a cut that has never healed properly. It is just infected.

I agree with both posters above. Splain, thank you for sharing your story. I don't know why Tyler and Cate assume that one day Carly will just run back into their arms. She maybe won't care and she has the right to. That goes for Nova as well. It's gonna be overwhelming and confusing for her if Theresa and Brandon don't put a stop on it soon. Like both of you stated, open adoption only brought pain, especially to Cate (Tyler seems to be more okay with it to me if not over it), and the wound they have never really healed. I think it could have healed better even if they did the show but had a closed adoption. To me, at that age, being vulnerable and too young, it was too much to ask them to act like adults and go with the whole open adoption thing. I can't wrap my head around the fact that Dawn, a legitimate social worker (I assume), would allow such a thing, and ignore their age. The experience itself was traumatic, everything after is hurting them even more. Edited by EuropeanGirl
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Personally I think Tyler has been conditioned to be an abuser and Caitlyn has been conditioned to take it. I bet she walks on eggshells around him all the time and that is why she made that comment about his temper. Her self-esteem is in the dumper.

That comment about Carly if T&B cut them off was nothing other than pure manipulation.

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Oh, I don't mind at all that you just partially quoted me, i knew which quote was me, it was just weird because in the original post it quoted me as saying the second one which was not me, but it would probably be a ptv glitch, nothing you did. I only would be mad if the post it said was me was offensive.

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 Did they plan Nova?

yes, Nova was planned.  Remember when Tyler slipped up and almost said something like "when Nova gets here to replace Carly?" Catelynn shut that the fuck down, and good for her. I think that was very telling. I think it's a lot easier now for him to detach from Carly, since he has another little girl who looks like him, who he can get garish tattoos for and post 38652 pictures of, AND for this one he gets to pat himself on the back for parenting. 

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I hate this idea that because you gave your sperm or egg to a child, that automatically makes you a parent, or the best parent. My daughter's biological father wants nothing to do with her, never has. I met my husband when she was about 9 months old, he had a vasectomy and NEVER wanted children before we met. My ex, had gotten three other girls pregnant before me, and all of them had abortions. I didn't want to, and I left him. So here we have a man who can father children, and doesn't like to wear protection (which I was all too willing to oblige in), and a man who never wanted children, and took the steps to not have them.

The man who never wanted children, is the best father my daughter could have. He is adopting her this year, and that is her father. BUT we are still close with her biological family, and I even regard her grandfather as my father. But sometimes he slips up, and he says things like "When her dad was younger..." And it makes me so mad, because the sperm donor (which is what I call him), is not her dad, not at all. So when they say things like "She is our daughter" NO, she is not, she is not your child, you gave her up to two people who are raising her. She is their child, and when she gets old it's going to be up to her what she does, but you pressuring her won't help. And I could see Tyler doing that, or manipulating things, and it just makes me sad.

Sorry for the long story, it's just something that really irritates me. 

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Personally I think Tyler has been conditioned to be an abuser and Caitlyn has been conditioned to take it. I bet she walks on eggshells around him all the time and that is why she made that comment about his temper. Her self-esteem is in the dumper.

That comment about Carly if T&B cut them off was nothing other than pure manipulation.

I agree. Tyler and Cate have both been exposed to domestic violence, addiction, mental, and emotional abuse. I can't help but feel for both of them. Both of them have been molded with such dysfunction. Tyler watched how his dad handled life, relationships, and females. Cate likely learned that it is best to just curl up and hide her feelings. I don't know if those two are still in therapy. I hope they are because they are far from being mentally healthy. They have a long way to go with how life works. Neither one of them has any goals or plans with how they are going to handle their financial affairs once this show is off the air. 

Personally I think Tyler has been conditioned to be an abuser and Caitlyn has been conditioned to take it. I bet she walks on eggshells around him all the time and that is why she made that comment about his temper. Her self-esteem is in the dumper.

That comment about Carly if T&B cut them off was nothing other than pure manipulation.

I agree. Tyler and Cate have both been exposed to domestic violence, addiction, mental, and emotional abuse. I can't help but feel for both of them. Both of them have been molded with such dysfunction. Tyler watched how his dad handled life, relationships, and females. Cate likely learned that it is best to just curl up and hide her feelings. I don't know if those two are still in therapy. I hope they are because they are far from being mentally healthy. They have a long way to go with how life works. Neither one of them has any goals or plans with how they are going to handle their financial affairs once this show is off the air. 

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If I were Theresa and Brandon I would shut that shit down and just let adult Carly deal with it later if she so chooses. I was watching the Teen Mom 2 marathon on MTV today and the trailer for tonight's OG episode has Caitlyn crying about feeling like she was having a heart attack after seeing her two kids together and being able to take only one of them home. Carly is NOT your kid! They need psychological help to deal with that because the lot of them are in deep, deep denial and pathological. Also, I don't think them being "friends" with the production team is a good idea at all and that they are not giving the moms the good advice they need.

 

The trailer also has Farrah lying about how Daddy Derrick taught her all about love and you can hear in her voice that she is a big fat fake.

 

Wonder if Chelsea watched the marathon today and then gave herself a party for how much she has grown up. That girl has come a long, long way!

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Teresa and Brandon need to close this adoption. I am actually surprised that went to that wedding. None of this is good for Carly. And it isn't good for Cate.

 

I think this is the shit that keeps Catelyn hurting.  What was the point of them going to the wedding?  All of this interaction is why Catelyn feels so attached and Tyler feels so entitled.  BrandonandTeresa should have sent an impersonal Happy Wedding card and gone on with their day.  Teresa has gotten way too invested in Catelyn. The two of them need to be re-introduced to boundaries.

 

Why have Nova and Carly interact?  They aren't sisters.  And for that asshole Tyler to pretend Carly was actually calling him "daddy"? Boy, please. 

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Did Carly go to the wedding or just Theresa and Brandon? If Carly went to the wedding how did they keep Butch from meeting her? I'm really confused by this. Did they just run every time Butch got near them?

A poster above said she felt bad for Butch because Theresa and Brandon didn't want to meet him, I don't feel bad at all. When you use and abuse everybody in your life you can't expect to be welcomed with open arms by anybody. He got what he deserved. I hate how he always pretends to be so emotional about not knowing Carly when Tyler's sister said he's never made an effort to have a relationship with his other grandkids.

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