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David T. Cole

Small Talk: Grab A Bottle

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@MyPeopleAreNordic I'm so sorry to hear this. Please don't beat yourself up that your feelings are irrational or an over-reaction; it's perfectly understandable that you would feel the way that you do and, even if it wasn't, they're your feelings and you're entitled to feel them. Keeping my fingers crossed for you and sending you positive vibes. :) 

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@MyPeopleAreNordic, my heart goes out to you.  Please know that we are all thinking of you and rooting for you at this difficult time.  Vent anytime you want.   Whenever you feel up to it, let use know how you are doing.

Edited by Marisagf
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@MyPeopleAreNordic - We're the same age and both have two small children the same age. How you're this rational to make such an eloquent post with that kind of diagnosis...I'm in awe. I would be completely beside myself in a puddle on the floor. I hope everything goes well and you recover fully to spend as much time with your two beautiful children. You're in my thoughts.

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@MyPeopleAreNordic I am so sorry to here your diagnosis, fingers crossed that it is staged very early and you will just need surgery and maybe some mop up chemo. I was diagnosed Stage 1a (all cancer contained within 1 ovary) 4 years ago, it was a shock and to be blunt I did some weird crap after receiving the diagnosis. Straight after leaving the GP with the diagnosis I insisted that my husband drive me to the store as I needed to paint our fence, it was raining I spent nearly an hour looking for the perfect color and there we stood in the rain painting the fence while the paint ran. The section of fence still has not been repainted and I laugh now seeing it as it reminds me of the crazy day but also how supportive my husband was of his obviously insane wife. From crying in our walk in wardrobe because I wanted the choice to have more children even though our twins were 14 years old and we decided that was enough to me insisting I should drive home from hospital after surgery (he did not let me BTW) as I was all good now he just rolled with the punches. I used a lot of black humor to get me through and lucky I had an oncologist that shared it with me.

 

If you can organize help now and accept all offers as the fatigue can be quite bad. I also found a support group a great place to vent as they can understand the rollercoaster of emotions that seems to change minute to minute. Also please wait until your formal diagnosis before scaring yourself on google, some of the stats are grim and there is so much variation depending on type and stage.

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OMG @MyPeopleAreNordic as I read your post, I gasped. I am so sorry! My heart goes out to you. Please know we are all here for you and if you feel the need to vent, then please do so. I am glad the doctors found it early. I am sorry you are having to endure this health crisis. I know all of you here have been so helpful anytime anyone has been dealing with a personal crisis. It is definitely like family here. 

Update on my pain: I went in on Tuesday for a colonoscopy, but the doctor wasn't able to complete the procedure due to me waking up from sedation and crying out in pain. I never had that happen before any time I have had sedation. When I was in recovery, I was in such severe pain. The doctor did see some scar tissue and snipped some of it for biopsy, but that was all he was able to do before he stopped the procedure. He wants to set up another colonoscopy except this time he is going to do it under general anesthesia.  The appointment I though I had yesterday with the surgeon for laparoscopic surgery is actually for NEXT Wednesday. So, I am in limbo right now as to what is causing me the pain I am experiencing. 

Edited by GreatKazu
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I don't know how I missed this thread move. Please know I've been through some of these situations and am keeping @IDreamofJoaquin, @MyPeopleAreNordic and of course our @GreatKazu , in my thoughts and prayers at this time. I'll be here to read, listen and offer up anything I can. I'm currently stuck in my story (CATELYNN UGH) and hate to admit that. Even 20 years later emotions pop up unfortunately. For the most part though I talk myself back into gratitude for what I have been given. This time of year sucks for me and somehow the birthday of my late sister closely followed by the anniversary of her death(at 47)  bring on the pain all over again. I think part of it is her having endometriosis as well but she had three healthy pregnancies and she abandoned her children that I wound up raising for a good part of their lives. The oldest son is in my profile banner at his wedding last year.

You are definitely my favorite forum of folks and I proudly proclaim us The Royal Preverts of Previously TV!   

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@MyPeopleAreNordic  So sorry to hear what you are going through.   That is scary and really rough.   I'm sending you prayers if you go that way and good vibes if you aren't religious. Heck - you're getting both.   They don't cancel each other out.   

 

My twin was diagnosed with stage 3 breast cancer last March.  She caught the tumor because she noticed a lump when she was breastfeeding. At that point her oldest was 3 and her twins were 9 months and all her thoughts were on protecting them and her husband from any pain.   Anyways, point of this,  is that she found Gilda's Club really helpful in terms of support groups for her, free therapy, and additional resources.   They also provide support groups and resources for family and caregivers.  They have locations all over.  I used their group family therapy and that helped.

https://www.gildasclubchicago.org/about-us/our-beginnings

My twin is on her last round of chemo and will be done with it May 19th.  She also found out that she can rock the GI Jane look and now has far perkier new boobs than her twin.   I am wishing for the same positive outcome for you and your ovaries.   

Also - you don't have to answer but did you get the BRCA I and II gene test done?

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13 hours ago, GreatKazu said:

Update on my pain: I went in on Tuesday for a colonoscopy, but the doctor wasn't able to complete the procedure due to me waking up from sedation and crying out in pain. I never had that happen before any time I have had sedation. When I was in recovery, I was in such severe pain. The doctor did see some scar tissue and snipped some of it for biopsy, but that was all he was able to do before he stopped the procedure. He wants to set up another colonoscopy except this time he is going to do it under general anesthesia.  The appointment I though I had yesterday with the surgeon for laparoscopic surgery is actually for NEXT Wednesday. So, I am in limbo right now as to what is causing me the pain I am experiencing. 

Thanks for the update @GreatKazu. I hate that you're in pain. I'm sending love and prayers your way.

9 hours ago, FairyDusted said:

I don't know how I missed this thread move. Please know I've been through some of these situations and am keeping @IDreamofJoaquin, @MyPeopleAreNordic and of course our @GreatKazu , in my thoughts and prayers at this time. I'll be here to read, listen and offer up anything I can. I'm currently stuck in my story (CATELYNN UGH) and hate to admit that. Even 20 years later emotions pop up unfortunately. For the most part though I talk myself back into gratitude for what I have been given. This time of year sucks for me and somehow the birthday of my late sister closely followed by the anniversary of her death(at 47)  bring on the pain all over again. I think part of it is her having endometriosis as well but she had three healthy pregnancies and she abandoned her children that I wound up raising for a good part of their lives. The oldest son is in my profile banner at his wedding last year.

You are definitely my favorite forum of folks and I proudly proclaim us The Royal Preverts of Previously TV!   

@FairyDusted  I'm so sorry you're going through this. I don't really know what to say to make it better, but I want you to know I'm here for you. 

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In case you all are interested in a Stubby update...She's a little over 3 weeks old now but hasn't gained any weight in a week. I think she has problems with her eyesight, too. Still, she loves to snuggle and kiss! (I promise I don't usually sit around and make out with my animals.)

 

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1 minute ago, FairyDusted said:

Omg I want Hers!

She is so sweet. She really enjoys cuddling, too. Sometimes she'll just fold up into my palm and go right to sleep. 

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@mamadrama  you are so cool!  I would adopt Stubby but I have 2 kittens already. And never apologize for kissing your animals.  I sneak as many as I can!  If you are on twitter follow Kittenxlady.  She is a huge advocate for premiee kittens and has lots of info on her blog for the under 4 week set.

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4 minutes ago, LBS said:

@mamadrama  you are so cool!  I would adopt Stubby but I have 2 kittens already. And never apologize for kissing your animals.  I sneak as many as I can!  If you are on twitter follow Kittenxlady.  She is a huge advocate for premiee kittens and has lots of info on her blog for the under 4 week set.

Thank you! I'll check her out. This little one LOVES kisses. Every time you hold her she cranes her neck, looking for a kiss. 

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Hey friends!

I mentioned this in another thread, but my BFF since grade 6 is a stage/scenic designer in NYC. She designed the stage for the Elton John Grammy tribute. I saw rough versions of renderings for the stage when she was home for Christmas and they were awesome - zero bias from me, of course! ?

If you're an Elton fan, or want to see some of your own favorites, like my redhead brother from another mother, Ed Sheeran ?, check out "Elton John: I'm Still Standing - A Grammy Salute" on CBS on Tuesday, April 10 from 9-11pm.

My interactive cable guide indicates that a re-run of the EJ Grammy show will air on the Pop Network this Saturday, April 15 from 7-9pm.

PS: Kesha filmed a segment for the show, so we know Jenelle will be watching, feathers and all.

@monicageller, I have no idea where/when/if this is airing in Australia, but I will use my iPhone to record Ed's performance and send you the video via email, if you're even interested. (It's not pirating or bootlegging because Ed would want his fans to share!)

Edited by Bridget
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On 4/5/2018 at 9:58 AM, crazychicken said:

@MyPeopleAreNordic I am so sorry to here your diagnosis, fingers crossed that it is staged very early and you will just need surgery and maybe some mop up chemo. I was diagnosed Stage 1a (all cancer contained within 1 ovary) 4 years ago, it was a shock and to be blunt I did some weird crap after receiving the diagnosis. Straight after leaving the GP with the diagnosis I insisted that my husband drive me to the store as I needed to paint our fence, it was raining I spent nearly an hour looking for the perfect color and there we stood in the rain painting the fence while the paint ran. The section of fence still has not been repainted and I laugh now seeing it as it reminds me of the crazy day but also how supportive my husband was of his obviously insane wife.

Well....this past Friday I was off of work and decided on a whim to paint my daughter's bedroom bubble-gum pink.  She's 20 months old, loves pink, and I always wanted a very pink bedroom as a kid (my mom would only allow a pastel pink).  I've never painted a room before.  It wasn't a disaster, but it didn't exactly go well.

I don't know if it was just that I had to do something to not think about it or what, but I had to do it and I had to do it then (could not wait for the weekend for hubby with more painting experience to help).  It was like a compulsion and it seemed totally rational Friday morning when I decided to do it. So it's good to hear this isn't uncommon & I'm not the only one who had an irrational compulsion after getting the news, @crazychicken (and it had to do with painting, too)!

On 4/5/2018 at 2:56 PM, LBS said:

Also - you don't have to answer but did you get the BRCA I and II gene test done?

@LBS, I do not carry BRCA I gene. I do carry BRCA 2.   :/

 

I just want to tell all of you thank you so much for your responses, prayers, and thoughts. I've kind of moved from shock to numbness to acceptance (I think; today has been a "good" day so far).  I have surgery scheduled for later in the month but I saw another doctor yesterday who did a biopsy on my uterine lining just to see.  (BTW, a uterine lining biopsy is as unpleasant as one would imagine.)  So if those results come back as abnormal, the other doctor said she'll move my surgery up.

I'm back at work this week and that helps a lot, too. My best friend since age 5 set up a go fund me for us, which at first I was embarrassed by...but it is what it is & will help.  I was floored by the generosity of many people - some of whom I haven't seen or talked to since middle school - who donated.  She's almost half way to raising the goal amount and it hasn't even been a week. And so many friends and co-workers have offered to help with my kids or cover my classes, etc.  It's all just made me realize just how lucky I am (including all of your responses here). 

Also, @mamadrama, that is one of the cutest little critters I've ever seen! Thanks for the smile! (Also, I want her and I don't even like cats.)

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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7 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Well....this past Friday I was off of work and decided on a whim to paint my daughter's bedroom bubble-gum pink.  She's 20 months old, loves pink, and I always wanted a very pink bedroom as a kid (my mom would only allow a pastel pink).  I've never painted a room before.  It wasn't a disaster, but it didn't exactly go well.

I don't know if it was just that I had to do something to not think about it or what, but I had to do it and I had to do it then (could not wait for the weekend for hubby with more painting experience to help).  It was like a compulsion and it seemed totally rational Friday morning when I decided to do it. So it's good to hear this isn't uncommon & I'm not the only one who had an irrational compulsion after getting the news, @crazychicken (and it had to do with painting, too)!

@LBS, I do not carry BRCA I gene. I do carry BRCA 2.   :/

 

I just want to tell all of you thank you so much for your responses, prayers, and thoughts. I've kind of moved from shock to numbness to acceptance (I think; today has been a "good" day so far).  I have surgery scheduled for later in the month but I saw another doctor yesterday who did a biopsy on my uterine lining just to see.  (BTW, a uterine lining biopsy is as unpleasant as one would imagine.)  So if those results come back as abnormal, the other doctor said she'll move my surgery up.

I'm back at work this week and that helps a lot, too. 

Also, @mamadrama, that is one of the cutest little critters I've ever seen! Thanks for the smile! (Also, I want her and I don't even like cats.)

 I had that uterine lining biopsy on my lunch hour.  I had no idea what it was.  He said "you need it". I said "do it" because I didn't want to wait and think about it!

Hurt like hell!!!

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9 hours ago, Bridget said:

Hey friends!

I mentioned this in another thread, but my BFF since grade 6 is a stage/scenic designer in NYC. She designed the stage for the Elton John Grammy tribute. I saw rough versions of renderings for the stage when she was home for Christmas and they were awesome - zero bias from me, of course! ?

If you're an Elton fan, or want to see some of your own favorites, like my redhead brother from another mother, Ed Sheeran ?, check out "Elton John: I'm Still Standing - A Grammy Salute" on CBS on Tuesday, April 10 from 9-11pm.

My interactive cable guide indicates that a re-run of the EJ Grammy show will air on the Pop Network this Saturday, April 15 from 7-9pm.

PS: Kesha filmed a segment for the show, so we know Jenelle will be watching, feathers and all.

@monicageller, I have no idea where/when/if this is airing in Australia, but I will use my iPhone to record Ed's performance and send you the video via email, if you're even interested. (It's not pirating or bootlegging because Ed would want his fans to share!)

Thanks! I need to DVR the show. I missed it yesterday. 

42 minutes ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

Well....this past Friday I was off of work and decided on a whim to paint my daughter's bedroom bubble-gum pink.  She's 20 months old, loves pink, and I always wanted a very pink bedroom as a kid (my mom would only allow a pastel pink).  I've never painted a room before.  It wasn't a disaster, but it didn't exactly go well.

I don't know if it was just that I had to do something to not think about it or what, but I had to do it and I had to do it then (could not wait for the weekend for hubby with more painting experience to help).  It was like a compulsion and it seemed totally rational Friday morning when I decided to do it. So it's good to hear this isn't uncommon & I'm not the only one who had an irrational compulsion after getting the news, @crazychicken (and it had to do with painting, too)!

@LBS, I do not carry BRCA I gene. I do carry BRCA 2.   :/

 

I just want to tell all of you thank you so much for your responses, prayers, and thoughts. I've kind of moved from shock to numbness to acceptance (I think; today has been a "good" day so far).  I have surgery scheduled for later in the month but I saw another doctor yesterday who did a biopsy on my uterine lining just to see.  (BTW, a uterine lining biopsy is as unpleasant as one would imagine.)  So if those results come back as abnormal, the other doctor said she'll move my surgery up.

I'm back at work this week and that helps a lot, too. 

 

Praying those results of the biopsy come back negative. It sounds like you are pretty much trying to keep busy and keeping your mind busy. Are you experiencing any sort of pain? 

@mamadrama oh my gosh, that kitty video!! So freaking adorable. 

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I have no words of wisdom to add to anything anyone is going through. I can barely take care of my kids and my kitten these days. I'm very good at listening and commiserating, however. 

 

And I can share more Stubby videos. Here's one from yesterday. 

 

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Stubby is just so cute! I wish I could hold her. Please give her a hug for me. :-)

@Bridget

Quote

You just did. Thank you. (And tote bags. I ? your tote bags!) 

Chris Rock is THE man, hands down. You and I have to be related somehow. His comedy always makes me laugh, especially the classic “how to lower violence by charging $5k for bullets.” (Damn, he musta done somethin!) 

I wish more parents (no one on this site) thought about teachers the way you have done/do and have also expressed that to their children. I suspect that all of your kids were taught that from an early age too. 

When parents bad mouth teachers, their children mimic their parent(s) and when you mix that up with the battle of how parents model/teach common sense & respect, it can be a struggle. 

I’m also the first one to say that there are many teachers I’ve met over the last 10 years who have no business being in the classroom. Some are mean, some needed to retire five years ago, some simply can’t manage a classroom or even teach content.  It’s not fair to the kids.

When the ratchet ones come to school (damn the school attendance laws! Haha!) I like to call at least three parents of nice, kind students after school, for no other reason other than to compliment their student. When I’ve had a bad day. It’s the best way to leave a bad workday behind you. 

For your youngest one, pls also let him know if any of his teachers are having a bad day, we do work hard to leave it at the door, but like you said, we are human. Just like any possible thing can happen to students during the day or passing periods, and I keep that in mind for someone who might be having an “off day”, we are also susceptible to being in the same boat.

Reasons teachers can appear “off” or cranky:

-chances are that they just sat in a stupid meeting or observation debrief with an administrator/principal. Admin isn’t big on “thank you”, “I appreciate you” or “I like the way you did ....” because they’re robots with no feelings. And those meetings almost always occur during our prep (free) period when we have Xeroxes to make, papers to grade and a bladder to empty!

(Apologies to anyone here who is/was as administrator!)

-A parent called the principal and we allegedly said/did something that was “mean” or “wasn’t fair” to their student (who hates our guts and happens to be failing). Then mom/dad show up and want to meet, without an appointment, because they think they’re VIPs and we work for them.

When we’re not with students, we are either sitting in boring staff meetings or trying to get 182834 things finished...and you know the Xerox machine is always broken or jammed!

That said, it’s the small things (a card or note for no reason) or an email from a parent out of the blue that make the job worth doing. It really doesn’t take much to make the day ten million times better, and it’s often the result of a sincere “thank you” or kind word from a student. 

If I won the lottery tmrw, I’d still be a teacher. The students know which teachers are there for the paycheck and who shows up to work - and that’s what this profession is about: the students. The teacher who shows movies all year long is doing a huge disservice to their students. I know this to be true because I had one of those “teachers” next door to my classroom last year. The 10th graders “learned” about history through movies. Every. Single. Day. 

The students do know now that Ben Affleck isn’t just Batman. He was also in “Pearl Harbor” and “Armageddon.” Apparently “Armageddon” fits into the Common Core History curriculum. Who knew?

I brought your post here so I could respond. 

I will definitely share this with my son when he gets home later. Thank you for your sweet words. Yes, I taught all my kids the same about teachers and being respectful in school. My two oldest went to Catholic school. My son is the only one who has attended public school. He is in tenth grade. He has some special needs. The IEP helps him so much. He currently has a GPA of 3.5

Another thing I have shared with my son is that not all kids are bad. They might come from abusive or questionable home environments and sometimes they act out at school which can then make it hard for the students, teachers and the administration. 

Regarding the card/note, my son always bought a souvenir for his elementary school teachers while we were on our family vacations. He wanted to let them know how much he appreciated them and wanted to thank them by giving them a gift. This continued until junior high. He had a handful of teachers he bought gifts for. After the conclusion of his home tutoring this past February, he gave the teacher a card to thank him for all he did and all the extra effort the teacher put in. This teacher went beyond what he was required to do. I made sure his boss and the school district were informed about what a great teacher he is and how much he helped my son get back on his feet to return to school. He was such a great advocate. He'd get upset if the school didn't send his homework on time. He was also informing me of the kind of things you just posted about such as the feeling that teachers are not appreciated, staff meetings, and having to deal with rude parents who will accuse the teachers of going after their precious children when in fact, it is the students who are misbehaving. As he told me, the administrators tend to let the students rule the school. 

I grew up respecting teachers. I went to a Catholic school for 8 years. The teachers and the nuns did not play around. It was strict and I hated it, but it also taught me a lot. When I asked my dad to send me to public high school and he said yes, I was ecstatic! Boy, the culture shock hit me like a ton of bricks that first freshman week. The total disrespect of the staff by some students is something I never forgot. This was back in 1979. 

I recently watched that show on A&E "Undercover High" and it showed me how much worse the younger generation has become and how much worse teachers have it nowadays. 

Edited by GreatKazu
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53 minutes ago, GreatKazu said:

Stubby is just so cute! I wish I could hold her. Please give her a hug for me. :-)

@Bridget

I brought your post here so I could respond. 

I will definitely share this with my son when he gets home later. Thank you for your sweet words. Yes, I taught all my kids the same about teachers and being respectful in school. My two oldest went to Catholic school. My son is the only one who has attended public school. He is in tenth grade. He has some special needs. The IEP helps him so much. He currently has a GPA of 3.5

Another thing I have shared with my son is that not all kids are bad. They might come from abusive or questionable home environments and sometimes they act out at school which can then make it hard for the students, teachers and the administration. 

Regarding the card/note, my son always bought a souvenir for his elementary school teachers while we were on our family vacations. He wanted to let them know how much he appreciated them and wanted to thank them by giving them a gift. This continued until junior high. He had a handful of teachers he bought gifts for. After the conclusion of his home tutoring this past February, he gave the teacher a card to thank him for all he did and all the extra effort the teacher put in. This teacher went beyond what he was required to do. I made sure his boss and the school district were informed about what a great teacher he is and how much he helped my son get back on his feet to return to school. He was such a great advocate. He'd get upset if the school didn't send his homework on time. He was also informing me of the kind of things you just posted about such as the feeling that teachers are not appreciated, staff meetings, and having to deal with rude parents who will accuse the teachers of going after their precious children when in fact, it is the students who are misbehaving. As he told me, the administrators tend to let the students rule the school. 

I grew up respecting teachers. I went to a Catholic school for 8 years. The teachers and the nuns did not play around. It was strict and I hated it, but it also taught me a lot. When I asked my dad to send me to public high school and he said yes, I was ecstatic! Boy, the culture shock hit me like a ton of bricks that first freshman week. The total disrespect of the staff by some students is something I never forgot. This was back in 1979. 

I recently watched that show on A&E "Undercover High" and it showed me how much worse the younger generation has become and how much worse teachers have it nowadays. 

So much to say but I have to walk my doggie before the Elton John special starts at 9pm on CBS. Shameless plug! ?

But your son (and you) are beyond rad. My mom went to Catholic school and loved it. We didn’t. Too expensive for twins and no Catholic high school was around until 10 years ago - and it’s still a long ass commute! 

yes yes yes yes yes yes to everything!  I love that you gave a shout out to the teacher and made sure the district knew - you go!!! 

I swear it’s like you read my mind - honest to God! You’re the mom I always want on my side because I know you get it, as does your perceptive son! 

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I did 13 years of Catholic school (kindergarten through high school).  Elementary/junior high was parochial and my parents did tuition bank loans to be able to send me (and sacrificed a lot). I was able to go to Catholic high school because I received a scholarship that paid $3000 of the (then) $3200 tuition (in the late 90s/very early 2000s).  That school's tuition is now close to $10k.  

I loved my Catholic high school. It was an all-girls school ran by nuns.  I learned so much from the sisters and teachers there.  They were strict and didn't put up with anything, but in retrospect that was so good for me.  The order who owns & runs the school is a very progressive order.  They taught us about birth control and same sex (they just started the lesson out with "the men in charge of The Church say birth control is a sin, but they aren't the ones having babies" and then went on to tell us how to protect ourselves from STDs and pregnancy).  Abortion wasn't presented to us as murder, but a terrible choice a woman might have to make because society doesn't have safety nets and healthcare access for everyone to prevent unwanted pregnancies in the first place (I'm personally much more strongly pro-choice than they were, but I think just being presented with abortion as something much more complicated than "It's murdering babies!" was instrumental in me becoming pro-choice).  I even think some of the sisters and teachers were pro-choice on the downlow but just couldn't openly say it at a Catholic school because the men at the archdiocese office would flip out.   The nuns were some of the first real feminists I knew and I think they really shaped my ideas about social justice & made me into a fledgling feminist.  All of our classes besides theology class were completely secular (and quite challenging). 

I went on to do academic research in graduate school about the order that owns/runs my high school and have gotten to know several of the nuns as people rather than just teachers or sisters, which has been a phenomenal experience.  I wish my daughter could go to that high school but we don't live in that city, and even if we did, tuition is $10k/yr now and will probably be closer to $15-20k when she's high school aged in 13 years or so. There's no way we could swing that (and we'd also probably have to send her brother who will be a year ahead of her in school to Catholic high school; there's no way we could handle $30-40k/yr in tuition for both at the same time).  We live in one of the best public school districts in our state and I plan to send them to public school (and am proud to do so as someone who works in a public/state higher ed institution). But I am sad my daughter, especially, won't get to have that special experience with "my" nuns. 

Okay, tangent over. Haha.  But yes, the likes of Kail and Amber would have turned out much differently with some old school nuns teaching them in high school.  They would at least know how to talk to people respectfully (although my guess is neither would have made it very far without being expelled, cause the nuns did not play).  

Also....I miss wearing a uniform everyday, even though I hated it as a student.  It was just sooo easy to know exactly what you were going to wear everyday.  Especially now that I have kids, I don't have time/energy/take joy in picking out my outfits for work like I did fresh out of Catholic school.

Edited by MyPeopleAreNordic
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I’m still a recovering Catholic as I like to kid. Kinda ? so many great parts. So many things I questioned at the time. I still have a healthy fear/respect for the Nuns but most of all my Godparents. Who also taught at my school and lived around the corner. I would have never finished had she not had her thumb on me and went over allll my assignments. 

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I was raised Catholic and attended Catholic school through 8th grade. VERY different experience. The nuns were gone by the time I got there. My bad experience was just the overall environment. I was different, weird. And poor. I was bullied pretty badly, but since the aggressors were big contributors to the school and church, they got away with it. Some of my teachers were okay, but some were incredibly ruthless and showed a lot of favoritism. The kids were all pretty wild too, lots of sex and drugs going on before even high school! Thankfully I only had two friends, fellow outcasts, so I wasn't really exposed to all of that. 

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8 hours ago, MyPeopleAreNordic said:

I did 13 years of Catholic school (kindergarten through high school).  Elementary/junior high was parochial and my parents did tuition bank loans to be able to send me (and sacrificed a lot). I was able to go to Catholic high school because I received a scholarship that paid $3000 of the (then) $3200 tuition (in the late 90s/very early 2000s).  That school's tuition is now close to $10k.  

I loved my Catholic high school. It was an all-girls school ran by nuns.  I learned so much from the sisters and teachers there.  They were strict and didn't put up with anything, but in retrospect that was so good for me.  The order who owns & runs the school is a very progressive order.  They taught us about birth control and same sex (they just started the lesson out with "the men in charge of The Church say birth control is a sin, but they aren't the ones having babies" and then went on to tell us how to protect ourselves from STDs and pregnancy).  Abortion wasn't presented to us as murder, but a terrible choice a woman might have to make because society doesn't have safety nets and healthcare access for everyone to prevent unwanted pregnancies in the first place (I'm personally much more strongly pro-choice than they were, but I think just being presented with abortion as something much more complicated than "It's murdering babies!" was instrumental in me becoming pro-choice).  I even think some of the sisters and teachers were pro-choice on the downlow but just couldn't openly say it at a Catholic school because the men at the archdiocese office would flip out.   The nuns were some of the first real feminists I knew and I think they really shaped my ideas about social justice & made me into a fledgling feminist.  All of our classes besides theology class were completely secular (and quite challenging). 

I went on to do academic research in graduate school about the order that owns/runs my high school and have gotten to know several of the nuns as people rather than just teachers or sisters, which has been a phenomenal experience.  I wish my daughter could go to that high school but we don't live in that city, and even if we did, tuition is $10k/yr now and will probably be closer to $15-20k when she's high school aged in 13 years or so. There's no way we could swing that (and we'd also probably have to send her brother who will be a year ahead of her in school to Catholic high school; there's no way we could handle $30-40k/yr in tuition for both at the same time).  We live in one of the best public school districts in our state and I plan to send them to public school (and am proud to do so as someone who works in a public/state higher ed institution). But I am sad my daughter, especially, won't get to have that special experience with "my" nuns. 

Okay, tangent over. Haha.  But yes, the likes of Kail and Amber would have turned out much differently with some old school nuns teaching them in high school.  They would at least know how to talk to people respectfully (although my guess is neither would have made it very far without being expelled, cause the nuns did not play).  

Also....I miss wearing a uniform everyday, even though I hated it as a student.  It was just sooo easy to know exactly what you were going to wear everyday.  Especially now that I have kids, I don't have time/energy/take joy in picking out my outfits for work like I did fresh out of Catholic school.

I say uniforms for all students, private or public! 

During conversations with my students, when the topic of uniforms pop up in any context, I tell them I’m pro-uniform. They groan, I smile, sip my coffee and wait for it to start! It’s isually the intro to my Argumentative Essay unit (but they don’t know they’re being taught). They’re awesome.

I provide several examples to support my claim and remind students that they can be “individual” with their earrings or whatever small items they can wear to “make it their own.”  

Sports teams/athletes/ASB/dance team and other groups all wear uniforms to a degree. Whether it’s a game day, a performance or an official event at school, everyone has to wear “their uniform”, so why is it so bad to wear a uniform at school? 

Mandatory uniforms would eliminate the 15,274 dress code issues per day and the time it takes to deal with those!

We then have a whole group chat about the pros/cons and every year, no one has (yet) raised their hand to say “Wearing uniforms saves time getting ready in the morning.” When I add that bit to the “pro” list, the majority of kiddos will collectively say “ohhh yeah!!!!” and it’s magic. They’re the best.

I don’t think they would mind wearing uniforms, but admitting it out loud is totally different! I get it. 

I’m also honest and tell them I wish I had to wear a uniform because I changed X times that morning myself! (And it’s the truth!)

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I went to public schools throughout primary school and high school, and always had a uniform-- which is the norm in Australia. I actually don't think any schools don't have uniforms. When I got to uni and could wear whatever I wanted it was mind blowing! Uniforms really do eliminate stress, which is super helpful when you're a tween/teenager and have enough going on already!

On 4/10/2018 at 6:18 PM, Bridget said:

Hey friends!

I mentioned this in another thread, but my BFF since grade 6 is a stage/scenic designer in NYC. She designed the stage for the Elton John Grammy tribute. I saw rough versions of renderings for the stage when she was home for Christmas and they were awesome - zero bias from me, of course! ?

If you're an Elton fan, or want to see some of your own favorites, like my redhead brother from another mother, Ed Sheeran ?, check out "Elton John: I'm Still Standing - A Grammy Salute" on CBS on Tuesday, April 10 from 9-11pm.

My interactive cable guide indicates that a re-run of the EJ Grammy show will air on the Pop Network this Saturday, April 15 from 7-9pm.

PS: Kesha filmed a segment for the show, so we know Jenelle will be watching, feathers and all.

@monicageller, I have no idea where/when/if this is airing in Australia, but I will use my iPhone to record Ed's performance and send you the video via email, if you're even interested. (It's not pirating or bootlegging because Ed would want his fans to share!)

 

 

I love Elton John! He came to my city in September and I not only managed to get tickets, but got really great seats! It was amazing. I'm not sure when/if it's airing here but I (totally legally...) download or stream most things anyway.

Edited by monicageller
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Wow @MyPeopleAreNordic, your school experience sounds great!  I went to Catholic high school but it wasn't nearly as progressive.  I'm pretty sure there was no sex ed, but there also wasn't a big focus on abortion either.  Then again, that was back in the 70s so maybe now things would be different?    Anyway, back then we hardly had gym class because our nuns thought it was unladylike to exercise!  LOL!  In fact, the most progressive thing I remember was one of the nuns playing the soundtracks for Jesus Christ Superstar and Godspell in religion class.  Still love those soundtracks....

And I actually didn't mind wearing a uniform.  It was just so much easier to get up and get going in the morning.  I also went to an all-girls school, so no worries about make-up or hair.   It was so freeing.    A few years ago, I walked the Camino de Santiago and took two sets of clothes -- one to wear and one to wash.   Did I ever have a hard time coming home and adjusting to the realization that I pretty much couldn't wear the same two things over and over in my real life...

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There are many Catholic school people here! I am too, K-8. When I went to kindergarten it was coed. In first grade the school became all girls. 

My favorite teacher was one deemed “mean”. I loved her. I had her for 6th grade, and the following year she moved to 7th grade too. We only had one class of each grade. I was so happy!

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I hate the idea of uniform wearing. I think it stifles creativity. I guess it depends on the individual school, but we were allowed VERY little extras - like accessories. I remember everyone saying that uniforms eliminate class issues. I had to laugh real hard at that. Even with uniforms, you could still tell who the poor kids were vs. the rich kids. We HAD to buy specific uniforms, and the poor kids couldn't afford to buy directly from the uniform store. So we got ours hand-me-down from the school....and you could tell. Even then they were expensive and my mom could only afford a few of each item. We either had to rewear or wash a lot. You could just tell. I hated uniforms. I was so glad when I got to high school and could wear (almost) whatever I want. I'm probably in the minority, but I tend to think schools focus too much on what students are wearing anyhow. Most dress code "violations" I see are just silly. 

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I attended Catholic school in elementary school. Our uniforms were awful-green plaid skirts and big, red vests that hung down our waists. We looked like Christmas trees. :-)

Here's a Stubby picture for the day. 

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@MyPeopleAreNordic - Haven;t been on this thread in a couple of weeks and just read your update.  I am sorry about your diagnosis and sending lots of happy, positive fairy unicorn dust your way.  And virtual hugs from a virtual sloth who is a virtual mom.  We’ll be here to listen to you rant or make you laugh whenever you need it.

@GreatKazu - I hope you are feeling better.  

@mamadrama - Stubby is my spirit animal.  So sweet.

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@MyPeopleAreNordic   I am just now able to really read the forums and I am so sorry to hear about your diagnosis.  Please always keep us updated and we are always thinking of you.  I enjoy your presence here.  Love to you!!!

 

My friend and her wife are going to the fertility doctor Tuesday to see if one of them is able to carry. So the surrogate issue is still on the table for me.   I interviewed for that Supervisor position I mentioned before but I ended up crying.  This has never happened to me ONCE IN MY LIFE.  It was an interview with my Manager and Director so I do know them and have a relationship with them. Pretty much I know the job would be in the bag if I had the availability that my previous Supervisor did but I don't. Mine is limited because of my family and I had to admit that to them and I cried saying "if that is the reason this doesn't happen for me I'll be disappointed but I'm a mom and that's just the way things work out".  So we will see.  I had fun in the Redwoods with my family.  We drove down along the Pacific Coast Highway (the 101) and did a lot of hiking.  We celebrated my 39th birthday while I was there.  My kids did great in the car.   (I live a little north of Seattle)  

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OMG you guys!!!!!   I was at a festival yesterday and Adam Lind’s doppelgänger was at the same table.  It was freaking me out!  No one in my group watches TM and I wished I had my ipad with me so I could’ve live chatted with you all.   Here’s a question for you, don’t any of this guy’s friends or family watch TM?  Why would they let him make Adam Lind beauty and fashion choices?!  If I were this guy I would be clean shaven with a crew cut so no one would notice any similarities.  After our van trip to drink with Barb and steal Janelle’s hoodie we need to come to my hometown so we can take selfies with this guy.

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Hey y'all doing? (Courtesy of Dr. Now.) 

Can I get your all's advice? I need a neutral third party to tell me that I am in the right here. (So even if I am not, I need you to say it, ha ha.)

There is ALWAYS drama in the indie author world. I've inadvertently caught myself up in the latest, though, and I am not sure I handled it the right way. 

So there is this author/promoter. We'll call her Author A. I don't know her, have never had any dealings with her, and am not social media friends with her. Thousands of people know her, though, and she's kind of "up there" in the ranks of indie authors. She's also a polarizing figure-people either seem to love her or hate her. In the past few months she's been involved in some deals that some are saying are unethical at least, and against some Amazon TOS at worst. Another author filed a lawsuit against her, someone else created a Go Fund me to help the prosecution's lawsuit, lines have been drawn, the gossip mill has run awry. Like I said, I am neutral in this-I don't know her, nor do I know any of the key players in this. 

So how did I get involved?

Another author, call her Author B, is a huge defendant of Author A. She's constantly singing her praises and is loyal to a fault to her. I say "to a fault" because, from the way she talks about Author A, it comes across obsessive. I am friends with Author B. I've met her in person, we've hung out, and we've had a few business transactions. I like her. She has absolutely lost her shit over all this drama, though. Rather than post things that are book related, she's spent the last few weeks bemoaning Author A's woes and lashing out at anyone who might not share the love. (She's actually posted more than Author A, and Author B has no dog in the fight. It's kind of weird.) So last week Author B got on FB and posted a big list of names that belong to fellow writers. These were apparently all people who had somehow "wronged" Author A and are a part of that particular drama. At the end of this list, Author B challenged us to choose her or them. That if we continue to be FB friends with them, that we would need to unfriend her. There was a lot of cursing involved. It didn't really affect me because I didn't know any of those people.

I still chose them. 

Look, we are all in our 30s and 40s here. It's too old for that "if you're going to be her friend then I'm not going to be your friend" nonsense, right? The idea of someone giving me an ultimatum, of telling me to CHOOSE between people? It royally pissed me off. In the indie author world, most of us are connected through social media for business purposes. Threatening people's friendships just because someone wants to continue holding on to a networking link is stupid. I like Author B. If I'd seen or heard anyone saying something bad about her then I would have quietly cut them off and gone about my day. I am loyal to my friends, too. But this isn't even her fight and that list of other authors aren't even any of the key players. 

This is all dumb, right?

Now they've set their minions loose on Amazon, encouraging people to give bad reviews to the books of authors that they are angry at. Yes, that happens in our "world" and it's stupid, too. 

I wrote Author B a polite note. I told her that I liked her as a person, respected her as a writer, and thought a lot of her but that I didn't like being issued ultimatums, that I didn'tknow any of these people and, for professional purposes, wanted to stay out of any fights that didn't involve me. She promptly wrote back and asked me to reissue the anthology that we'd been a part of-this time without her story. 

Yes, this happens. Dumb, dumb, dumb. 

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Wow. That is some MTV-level drama right there. I don't think you did anything wrong. Author B's behavior sounds incredibly petty and juvenile. She could have her friend's back privately. No need to drag all this crap across social media. And you shouldn't be made to feel like you have to go on a big deleting spree just to make someone happy. That's ridiculous. 

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@mamadrama- get out of here! That is nuts! In my opinion you did the right thing. Who is she? Author A's Underboss? I have a feeling that Author A will distance herself from Author B in a few weeks because of these embarrassing shenanigans. 

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3 hours ago, mamadrama said:

Hey y'all doing? (Courtesy of Dr. Now.) 

Can I get your all's advice? I need a neutral third party to tell me that I am in the right here. (So even if I am not, I need you to say it, ha ha.)

There is ALWAYS drama in the indie author world. I've inadvertently caught myself up in the latest, though, and I am not sure I handled it the right way. 

So there is this author/promoter. We'll call her Author A. I don't know her, have never had any dealings with her, and am not social media friends with her. Thousands of people know her, though, and she's kind of "up there" in the ranks of indie authors. She's also a polarizing figure-people either seem to love her or hate her. In the past few months she's been involved in some deals that some are saying are unethical at least, and against some Amazon TOS at worst. Another author filed a lawsuit against her, someone else created a Go Fund me to help the prosecution's lawsuit, lines have been drawn, the gossip mill has run awry. Like I said, I am neutral in this-I don't know her, nor do I know any of the key players in this. 

So how did I get involved?

Another author, call her Author B, is a huge defendant of Author A. She's constantly singing her praises and is loyal to a fault to her. I say "to a fault" because, from the way she talks about Author A, it comes across obsessive. I am friends with Author B. I've met her in person, we've hung out, and we've had a few business transactions. I like her. She has absolutely lost her shit over all this drama, though. Rather than post things that are book related, she's spent the last few weeks bemoaning Author A's woes and lashing out at anyone who might not share the love. (She's actually posted more than Author A, and Author B has no dog in the fight. It's kind of weird.) So last week Author B got on FB and posted a big list of names that belong to fellow writers. These were apparently all people who had somehow "wronged" Author A and are a part of that particular drama. At the end of this list, Author B challenged us to choose her or them. That if we continue to be FB friends with them, that we would need to unfriend her. There was a lot of cursing involved. It didn't really affect me because I didn't know any of those people.

I still chose them. 

Look, we are all in our 30s and 40s here. It's too old for that "if you're going to be her friend then I'm not going to be your friend" nonsense, right? The idea of someone giving me an ultimatum, of telling me to CHOOSE between people? It royally pissed me off. In the indie author world, most of us are connected through social media for business purposes. Threatening people's friendships just because someone wants to continue holding on to a networking link is stupid. I like Author B. If I'd seen or heard anyone saying something bad about her then I would have quietly cut them off and gone about my day. I am loyal to my friends, too. But this isn't even her fight and that list of other authors aren't even any of the key players. 

This is all dumb, right?

Now they've set their minions loose on Amazon, encouraging people to give bad reviews to the books of authors that they are angry at. Yes, that happens in our "world" and it's stupid, too. 

I wrote Author B a polite note. I told her that I liked her as a person, respected her as a writer, and thought a lot of her but that I didn't like being issued ultimatums, that I didn'tknow any of these people and, for professional purposes, wanted to stay out of any fights that didn't involve me. She promptly wrote back and asked me to reissue the anthology that we'd been a part of-this time without her story. 

Yes, this happens. Dumb, dumb, dumb. 

Back slowly away from the crazy. (This also works if you run into Amber or Jenelle).

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I definitely agree with Druzy. A&B will have a spectacular falling out. This behavior is probably a pattern with B. You're doing well to distance yourself from both of them and not commenting on it further. 

What are the logistics of republishing? I would be tempted to ignore the request if it involves a lot of work on your part (or work that you need to supervise). Is that even your thing to edit?

We have a problematic family living next door. The mom is toxic, manipulative, a habitual liar, and everyone in the neighborhood suffers because she doesn't supervise or correct her child's aggressive behavior. I've ceased engaging with her entirely, although it seems she is still working on talking shit about me to anyone who will listen. I'm playing the long game. I figure that she is not in enough control of her behavior that she can't help but show what a terrible person she is after a while. It's hard to not rise when bits and pieces get back to me (there's also an uncomfortable element of racism in her and her child's actions which INFURIATES me), but I trust that our long term behavior will become clear to those who are paying attention in the long run. 

I know she's planting darts and waiting to get the satisfaction of me reacting. So that's my long game. Ignore the bitch, don't escalate on my side, and let her spin out of control. It always happens. 

Edited by guilfoyleatpp
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