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Something Unexpected: Seasons 1 and 2 Discussion


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23 hours ago, teapot said:

 apologies if I'm currently disrespecting the spelling of someone's name.  But did Catelynn's mom from Teen Mom hear the name "Caitlin" and not know how to spell it?  Did McKayla's mom not know how to spell "Michaela"?  They could have just liked it spelled the way they have it, but I always wondered that!

I guess most ppl don't realize this but Caitlin is an Irish name and is supposed to be pronounced Koch-LEEN...not KATE-lyn. So if they can butcher the pronunciation, then they might as well bastardize the spelling! (I altered the spelling of my daughter's name to make it seem feminine....but I am not offended :)

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I think Shannon would have walked out of a conjoined shower with 50% of her daughter's gifts. She only wants it that way because no one else is going to throw her a shower. Poor Mackayla (am I misspelling that right, teapot?). She's about to be a mom but she's still a kid. It would be so hard to tell your mom that you don't want a party with her. 

Shaedon's (Is that even a name? Can it be misspelled?) mom sure was Captain Doom! What a piece of work. 

I keep reminding myself that actual babies are coming to these fucked up people. It's so tragic. 

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1 hour ago, balisticnikki said:

I guess most ppl don't realize this but Caitlin is an Irish name and is supposed to be pronounced Koch-LEEN...not KATE-lyn. So if they can butcher the pronunciation, then they might as well bastardize the spelling! 

I always found this hilarious. Caitlin, pronounced Kochleen, is basically the Gaelic spelling of the Anglicized Kathleen. And the wheel turns.... 

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3 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

I always found this hilarious. Caitlin, pronounced Kochleen, is basically the Gaelic spelling of the Anglicized Kathleen. And the wheel turns.... 

The old what came first..the chicken or the egg?  :)

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On 11/14/2017 at 9:09 AM, balisticnikki said:

The recovering drug addict mom who is pregnant at the same time w/ her daughter.... (I can't recall the names and it's hard trying to describe who I'm referring to. No offense, bear with me.) So that girl's baby daddy's mom says she fears the only reason the pregnant recovering drug addict has re-emerged in daughter's life now is bc drug addict wants something. What does she thinks drug addict wants? Fame from reality tv show?

These baby daddies are sooo corny and funny looking. I can't believe they're getting laid! lol

Shannon - recovering drug addict mom

McKayla - pregnant at the prom

Since I know this random information, does this mean I officially need a new hobby? haha!

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On 11/17/2017 at 0:04 AM, felicity porter said:

 

Also, am I the only one who side eyes a baby shower for a teen mom? I was always taught that showers were for the Mom. A community gathers to support the woman and welcome her to the Mom club. That’s why you generally get one with your first child. I don’t get the “celebrate the life of all my kids by showering me with multiple showers for each baby” mentality.  So I don’t really get giving a teen a shower. I also don’t blame the parents of Lilly’s friends who don’t want their daughter attending. I wouldn’t want my daughter attending that event either.  Years ago, a soon to be grandma on 16&Pregmant remarked to her daughter that there would be no shower as “this [you becoming a mom yiung] was not something to be celebrated.”

Preach!!!!

What I think is extra lame is that these teen girls all get CLOTHES at their showers instead of the shit they will need...that is my pet peeve beyond all pet peeves! (That and I don't see many books being given at baby showers on TV, but I know that's just me being OVERLY critical.)

Many of my (married and grown up) friends chose NOT to reveal the gender of their baby because they didn't want to be stuck with a closet full of outfits that would fit for 30 seconds. Babies are expensive, which is something most adults know BEFORE their baby arrives, unlike these teenagers. It never occurs to them to check out the cost of diapers, get an average of the # of diapers a baby goes through in one day and do some basic math to prepare.

Several of my friends (and their husbands) didn't even want a shower to begin with because they thought it was like asking/begging for gifts. 

I think a gender neutral baby shower is always the best option, especially because friends can go in on "group gifts" so the portable crib, umbrella stroller, diaper bag, Einstein play center, pumping stuff is taken care of. That's what babies need the most during their first year of life, right? Even my most fashion conscious friend (who knew she was having a girl) didn't tell anyone the gender because she knew her little girl would mostly wear plain white onesies for the first year of her life.  She didn't want a closet full of 0-3 months old clothing that wouldn't last a week, nor did she want to spend too much time trying to get baby vomit out of cute outfits.

PS: i agree with all of the posters who say these teens need to pay for their own shit, so I hope these girls have someone in their lives that will tell them it's time to give up getting manicures! The money spent on those weekly acrylic tips could have been spent on one Uber to Planned Parenthood! It can now be spent on a car seat, crib, bassinet or a Boppy!

PPS: Does anyone know, or care to guess, why none of the MTV teen moms don't breast feed? We saw Briana nurse Stella, and I think Chelsea did with Watson, so they get a pass with baby #2.  I don't know the exact price of formula, nor do I know how much a baby consumes each day, but I do know it's expensive. Considering that a mother makes FREE FOOD, why aren't they taking advantage of this to save money? I know formula can be purchased with an EBT card, so unless the baby will not latch or it's just not going to happen for anatomic reasons, why the hell don't they nurse? It's always boggled my mind! 

Edited by Bridget
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1 hour ago, Bridget said:

Since I know this random information, does this mean I officially need a new hobby? haha!

Since I am logging on the hotel's computer on Thanksgiving morning while on vacation in Florida....I think I need the new hobby!!!

I am 52, old enough to be a great grandmother by this show's standards, and as I posted in another thread:  my 20 year old would rather light his hair on fire than ask a girl out.  Has a lot of girls that are friends, goes out in groups and that is enough for now.  Wants to travel as a writer following sports teams.  My younger one - super ambitious in mechanical engineering - uber smart and although only 18 is very disciplined.   I told them both:  please please please keep your twenties to yourself.  On all levels.

1 hour ago, Bridget said:

Does anyone know, or care to guess, why none of the MTV teen moms don't breast feed?

Because it can be seen as work?  (It is not but a bottle can be seen as easier.)  Not advocating for either - I am just sayin'....we are dealing with teens who love to follow the path of least resistance.

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32 minutes ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I am 52, old enough to be a great grandmother by this show's standards, and as I posted in another thread:  my 20 year old would rather light his hair on fire than ask a girl out.  Has a lot of girls that are friends, goes out in groups and that is enough for now.  Wants to travel as a writer following sports teams.  My younger one - super ambitious in mechanical engineering - uber smart and although only 18 is very disciplined.   I told them both:  please please please keep your twenties to yourself.  On all levels.

Right? my son is the same. He's 23, so a lot of his friends are starting to get engaged, get married, and several have produced babies. He'd rather fly to the moon, he's utterly baffled that anyone so young would want to be tied down like that. He's had girlfriends but most emphatically does not want to be in a serious relationship right now. He wants to hang with his friends, have fun and enjoy his 20's. 

Good luck to your sons! Fun fact, I work at a large university in Cambridge MA, (not Harvard!) in the MechE department. The students are smart, cool and very, very focused. Its a great discipline with endless opportunities!!

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1 hour ago, Bridget said:

What I think is extra lame is that these teen girls all get CLOTHES at their showers instead of the shit they will need...that is my pet peeve beyond all pet peeves!

Right? "oooh, look at these cute little outfits!!" They won't use half of them. If any of them pop out an 8+ pound baby, all those cute "newborn" outfits will probably be too small the day they bring the baby home. Even outfits for an older baby or toddler would be more practical- 6 months down the road they'll need stuff, and those piles of 0-3 month outfits will be so much fairy gold. My go-to shower gift is a case of diapers in a larger than newborn size. 

But Lilly seems to think her baby will be some kind of dolly that she can dress up. Hoo boy is she in for a shock.

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And there's no reason the moms can't take these girls to thrift & consignment shops to save money. Those places, at least around here, are typically very picky about what they take to sell, & a lot of it is brand name stuff for cheap.

The other idea is for the family to go in on paying for parenting classes & therapy to actually help the kids & truly create a better future for all of them, especially the babies.

Edited by gonecrackers
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On 11/16/2017 at 4:11 PM, ghoulina said:

When I went to my 6 week checkup, I told my husband that the doc said "two more weeks", even though that wasn't true. I had an episiotomy and was scared to death of resuming sexual activities!!! 

You are not alone in this, I have a few friends who did the same thing!  And my aunt went back for her 6 week up and shortly thereafter found out she was expecting...twins.  She said it was like raising triplets.

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3 hours ago, Evenshorter said:

You are not alone in this, I have a few friends who did the same thing!  And my aunt went back for her 6 week up and shortly thereafter found out she was expecting...twins.  She said it was like raising triplets.

I'm a twin and I can confirm that my mom will tell anyone who will listen that having multiples is harder than anyone can relate to unless they have had the same experience! She's been known to tell moms (who complain) with (well behaved) babies that it's a good thing they only have one. If she watched more TV, she would be snarking here along with us. Having one baby of each gender also meant they were done having kids! 

When I was sleeping, my brother was awake. And vice versa! One of us would have had a diaper change, then the other one did. It's nonstop with multiples. We were on schedules & my parents had access to caregivers, so they made sure they had a break from us, even if it was going to Sunday morning mass.

We used to live in an older house without a bathroom in the master bedroom. My parents would have to pass our room to get to the only bathroom upstairs. We often woke up early (5am), and while we would play in our own cribs, we were also aware of our surroundings. As a result, my mom used to crawl on her hands and knees to get to the bathroom without us seeing her so that she could have another hour or two of sleep before having to get ready for work.

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9 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

Since I am logging on the hotel's computer on Thanksgiving morning while on vacation in Florida....I think I need the new hobby!!!

I am 52, old enough to be a great grandmother by this show's standards, and as I posted in another thread:  my 20 year old would rather light his hair on fire than ask a girl out.  Has a lot of girls that are friends, goes out in groups and that is enough for now.  Wants to travel as a writer following sports teams.  My younger one - super ambitious in mechanical engineering - uber smart and although only 18 is very disciplined.   I told them both:  please please please keep your twenties to yourself.  On all levels.

Because it can be seen as work?  (It is not but a bottle can be seen as easier.)  Not advocating for either - I am just sayin'....we are dealing with teens who love to follow the path of least resistance.

 

8 hours ago, Pepper Mostly said:

Right? my son is the same. He's 23, so a lot of his friends are starting to get engaged, get married, and several have produced babies. He'd rather fly to the moon, he's utterly baffled that anyone so young would want to be tied down like that. He's had girlfriends but most emphatically does not want to be in a serious relationship right now. He wants to hang with his friends, have fun and enjoy his 20's. 

Good luck to your sons! Fun fact, I work at a large university in Cambridge MA, (not Harvard!) in the MechE department. The students are smart, cool and very, very focused. Its a great discipline with endless opportunities!!

You two moms need to write an instruction manual! I mean it! Whatever you did, you did it right! I salute you!

Can I talk you into collaborating with me to put together some type of information or curriculum for a class (required to be taken by all students and their parents/guardians)called "Don't even think about it!"? 

It's desperately needed, because SexEd is not taught in high school the way it should be. It is part of a health class, but not even a full chapter, at least in SoCal. Per my students, they can tell the health teachers are too embarrassed to teach that chapter, so it's relegated to "independent work." No banana & condom! No scary photos of STDs! No hardcore facts about statistics or reality!

I've polled some students and asked them what they've learned in health, only to be answered with "nothing." I am, sadly, not shocked. I taught summer school last year and had a group of soon-to-be grade 9 girls whose only goal was not not to get pregnant in HS like their sisters did. These poor kids have no idea they can go to Planned Parenthood for health care, further information and free birth control. The girls have no idea it takes 90 days for the pill to be effective, nor do they know the pill must be taken at the same time every day. They don't even know about IUDs, upper arm implants, the Depo shot or a diaphragm. That's what I struggle with: teenage pregnancy and the 2828344 ways it can be prevented, with parents/guardians talking to teens about it being the most important part!

99% of my students don't even remember to write their name on their assignments, so taking a pill every day at the same time? Not possible.

I say give all of the girls a Depo shot along with their HPV vaccinations. It shouldn't be the job of the female to worry about birth control, but the reality is that it's too easy to prevent pregnancy when one is a female

Edited by Bridget
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On 11/16/2017 at 5:15 PM, KBrownie said:

To me, that's $75-100 too much with a baby on the way.  Someone should have told her that, unless she was funding prom herself, they didn't have the money for that when the financial burden for her irresponsible decision to have a child is falling on them (the grandparents).  And she said she was ending her Junior year, so why not wait until you can go to Prom NOT pregnant?  There are little to no consequences for the stupid things that these idiots do and that's part of the reason why they continue to do stupid things.  Nothing happens.  Someone is always there to fix things for them.  I thought McKayla was the least offensive and most harmless of the bunch, although she does appear a bit dim, but then to hear that she has a YouTube channel makes me suspicious that she's using this pregnancy for fame and attention and that she wants to use this show and turn it into something bigger.  

 

I thought it was sketchy the way that McKayla talked about "not wanting to be forced to take birth control" with her grandfather. She totally played him, twisted someone's words and ended up NOT on/using birth control, which seemed to be her goal. She is super sketchy and conniving if she's going to play her grandparents against each other.

It is great that her grandparents were able to take her in, but in doing so, it appears they have neglected to be the adults that all teens desperately need with regard to guiding her to make good decisions. They were probably trying to over compensate for her crappy bio mom abandoning her, but that doesn't mean being a fun grandparent all day, every day. Pretty sure grandma paid for that sunshine tattoo - just a hunch.

The grandparents should have been on the same page when the whole birth control topic came up. Why wouldn't grandpa have spoken with grandma about this, or vice versa? I suspect grandma is the enabler, as she freely admitted to spoiling McKayla. Part of me blames grandma for the pregnancy, even if she isn't the one who is carrying the baby. 

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On 11/20/2017 at 11:52 AM, poeticlicensed said:

It's driven by social media. If there was no medium, like facebook, instagram, etc to post that crap, I wonder if it would be as popular

High school yearbooks now have entire pages dedicated to providing photos of the most outrageous "promposals" and "HoCoPosals" (homecoming). There is serious pressure to make the whole "asking someone to go" part be worthy of winning an award - oh, and it must be as public as possible!

In the quad with the whole school watching? Check

During halftime at a ballgame, with the entire stadium watching? Check

It's ridiculous.

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On 11/21/2017 at 1:45 PM, ghoulina said:

Girl, I hear ya. My sister just got induced and had her baby today! She was 9 days early! Why? The doctor was going out of town for the holiday weekend and IF my sister went into labor during that time (which, would still be early, so doubtful....), she'd miss it. Can you believe that crap? And, yes, I was 90% effaced and 1 cm dilated for FOUR weeks with my first. calm down. 

 

Oh, I agree. I wasn't trying to make excuses. He should absolutely be polite to Lexus's mom. I was more just wondering aloud if his behavior is a symptom of a larger personality problem, or if it was just general teenage punkassery. 

 

I agree about Shelley. I have no issues with her. So far, HER son seems the most polite and reliable. And I agree with her issues about Shannon 100%. I think she took the bullet on telling Shannon "no", so McKayla didn't have to. She seems confident enough to be able to handle it without getting her feelings hurt. 

I'm torn on the teen baby shower thing. I get that the newborn needs stuff. But some of these girls act like they're getting a personal party. I just think if things were a bit harder, it would deter more teenagers from getting into this situation. A quiet gathering would be fine, but some of these people get so over the top. I'll tell you this, I'd give a teen mom a baby shower before a 4 time mom like Shannon! 

From my professional experience, with teenage boys, it's almost always general teenage punkassery, with some exceptions to the rule, of course.

They are too busy trying to be cool, so they don't sleep enough, eat right or take care of themselves. Add a job, trying to have a relationship (when they don't need to be paired with anyone until they control their tantrums) and school, it makes their behavior ten times worse than the grouchiest person I know. 

I don't put up with it, but some try and test me. They fail really quickly though! I take their punkasses aside and use the following phrase a ton in the fall to set the stage: I don't know what adults you talk to like that in your life, but do you see this one right here? You are not allowed to talk to me like that ever again, whether it's on campus or at a basketball game. I don't disrespect you, do I?

That usually shuts them up as they realize I have not been a punkass to them. They still have moments, but that's when I (silently) blame their parents for not raising their kids to act respectfully.

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On 11/23/2017 at 4:02 AM, Bridget said:

Preach!!!!

What I think is extra lame is that these teen girls all get CLOTHES at their showers instead of the shit they will need...that is my pet peeve beyond all pet peeves! (That and I don't see many books being given at baby showers on TV, but I know that's just me being OVERLY critical.)

Many of my (married and grown up) friends chose NOT to reveal the gender of their baby because they didn't want to be stuck with a closet full of outfits that would fit for 30 seconds. Babies are expensive, which is something most adults know BEFORE their baby arrives, unlike these teenagers. It never occurs to them to check out the cost of diapers, get an average of the # of diapers a baby goes through in one day and do some basic math to prepare.

Several of my friends (and their husbands) didn't even want a shower to begin with because they thought it was like asking/begging for gifts. 

I think a gender neutral baby shower is always the best option, especially because friends can go in on "group gifts" so the portable crib, umbrella stroller, diaper bag, Einstein play center, pumping stuff is taken care of. That's what babies need the most during their first year of life, right? Even my most fashion conscious friend (who knew she was having a girl) didn't tell anyone the gender because she knew her little girl would mostly wear plain white onesies for the first year of her life.  She didn't want a closet full of 0-3 months old clothing that wouldn't last a week, nor did she want to spend too much time trying to get baby vomit out of cute outfits.

PS: i agree with all of the posters who say these teens need to pay for their own shit, so I hope these girls have someone in their lives that will tell them it's time to give up getting manicures! The money spent on those weekly acrylic tips could have been spent on one Uber to Planned Parenthood! It can now be spent on a car seat, crib, bassinet or a Boppy!

PPS: Does anyone know, or care to guess, why none of the MTV teen moms don't breast feed? We saw Briana nurse Stella, and I think Chelsea did with Watson, so they get a pass with baby #2.  I don't know the exact price of formula, nor do I know how much a baby consumes each day, but I do know it's expensive. Considering that a mother makes FREE FOOD, why aren't they taking advantage of this to save money? I know formula can be purchased with an EBT card, so unless the baby will not latch or it's just not going to happen for anatomic reasons, why the hell don't they nurse? It's always boggled my mind! 

A lot of teen girls think that breast feeding is gross. They're fine to get naked and have sex with their boyfriends, but a nursing baby is gross. Alrighty, then. I've heard teenage girls actually say "No baby is gonna suck my boob! That's disgusting!" I believe another reason some may nurse for a day or two then quit is because it hurts like hell for a week or so. The first couple days, it's fine. Then, your nipples crack and it hurts REALLY bad until things toughen up. I remember stomping my feet on the floor saying 'ouch, ouch,ouch!!!' when my daughter was a few days old and wondering why in hell no one told me this little tidbit in the classes I took. Nursing is so much easier than getting up at 3:00 am and making a bottle. You get so you can do middle of the night feedings without even waking up all the way-LOL!

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5 hours ago, lovesnark said:

A lot of teen girls think that breast feeding is gross. They're fine to get naked and have sex with their boyfriends, but a nursing baby is gross. Alrighty, then. I've heard teenage girls actually say "No baby is gonna suck my boob! That's disgusting!" I believe another reason some may nurse for a day or two then quit is because it hurts like hell for a week or so. The first couple days, it's fine. Then, your nipples crack and it hurts REALLY bad until things toughen up. I remember stomping my feet on the floor saying 'ouch, ouch,ouch!!!' when my daughter was a few days old and wondering why in hell no one told me this little tidbit in the classes I took. Nursing is so much easier than getting up at 3:00 am and making a bottle. You get so you can do middle of the night feedings without even waking up all the way-LOL!

Thank you! That's what I thought, but wasn't sure.

It's a sad reality, but it makes total sense. They don't seem to care much about stretch marks (which never go away!), but using their breasts to feed their child for FREE? The shock and horror! Gross!!

I suppose I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but realistically, how many of them can honestly claim they cannot physically nurse? What are the odds that they all suffered from mastitis (had to Google that term, but even I knew about it) or had other possible issues, only to declare "I am unable to nurse my baby because of a legitimate reason"?

From what I've seen with new moms, I understand nursing isn't the most comfortable or easiest thing in the world initially, but once mother/baby work out a system & mom's stocked up on Aquaphor for the pain, I've heard nothing but amazing things about it. How much shall we bet that the Teen Moms don't even know that lactation consultants are employed by hospitals?  Millions of women have been nursing for as long as babies have been born. Baby's immune system is built, creates bonding time for both parents if bottles are pumped ahead of time (Even Ross and Carol on "Friends" were able to make it work!), and it helps to burn off pregnancy weight. (I'm not body shaming any of the moms, just stating a fact)

Now that I think about it, and I could totally be wrong about this as I'm afraid to use Google and go down the rabbit hole, I'm kind of shocked that the "Teen Moms" haven't been put on blast by other moms/breast feeding groups by not nursing their babies! I certainly don't expect any La Leche League members to watch the show and share their two cents, but I'd be curious to see what type, if any, suggestions and/or backlash they've gotten about choosing bottles over nursing. 

However, if they did nurse, the cost of formula is one less thing for them to bitch about though, so there IS that...

Edited by Bridget
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I was a LLL member for several years; nursed all the kids including twins. I was starting training to be a leader, but had to conk out due to lack of time having a special needs child.

The first thing they will tell you to check if you feel pain is baby's latch on. If it's wrong, it can be painful, & the baby will not get enough milk. It is also the most common problem for beginning nursers, but even after a while nursing we could slip & forget...  bring the latch back where it should be & we were good to go again.

Of course there are other challenges that can come up; I did have mastitis once & it was not fun, but we got through it & kept nursing.

It takes some work, & definitely takes persistence depending on what kinds of challenges the nursing couple have, & it varies.

I can't help but doubt whether these girls will put that time in, & a lack of support around them will make it so much more difficult even if they do.,

LLL will always encourage breastfeeding & they have FREE help through their leaders internationally (no lactation consultant fees unless things get complicated & they refer). However, they will not coerce or guilt trip a mom to breastfeed (at least not from anything I've ever seen); in the end it's her decision to do what she feels is best.

Edited by gonecrackers
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31 minutes ago, Bridget said:

Thank you! That's what I thought, but wasn't sure.

It's a sad reality, but it makes total sense. They don't seem to care much about stretch marks (which never go away!), but using their breasts to feed their child for FREE? The shock and horror! Gross!!

I suppose I was trying to give them the benefit of the doubt, but realistically, how many of them can honestly claim they cannot physically nurse? What are the odds that they all suffered from mastitis (had to Google that term, but even I knew about it) or had other possible issues, only to declare "I am unable to nurse my baby because of a legitimate reason"?

From what I've seen with new moms, I understand nursing isn't the most comfortable or easiest thing in the world initially, but once mother/baby work out a system & mom's stocked up on Aquaphor for the pain, I've heard nothing but amazing things about it. How much shall we bet that the Teen Moms don't even know that lactation consultants are employed by hospitals?  Millions of women have been nursing for as long as babies have been born. Baby's immune system is built, creates bonding time for both parents if bottles are pumped ahead of time (Even Ross and Carol on "Friends" were able to make it work!), and it helps to burn off pregnancy weight. (I'm not body shaming any of the moms, just stating a fact)

Now that I think about it, and I could totally be wrong about this as I'm afraid to use Google and go down the rabbit hold, I'm kind of shocked that the "Teen Moms" haven't been put on blast by other moms/breast feeding groups by not nursing their babies! I certainly don't expect any La Leche League members to watch the show and share their two cents, but I'd be curious to see what type, if any, suggestions and/or backlash they've gotten about choosing bottles over nursing. 

However, if they did nurse, the cost of formula is one less thing for them to bitch about though, so there IS that...

My daughter's best friend is a doctor. When she was doing the labor and delivery portion of her residency, she had a really hard time with young, naive mothers. She's a really outspoken woman and it killed her to bite her tongue and listen to their excuses for everything and their belief in all the misinformation. Like, if you nurse, you'll have saggy boobs for the rest of your life. And, if you don't have an epidural, your baby could die because of the pain - I'm not kidding. These are just a couple of the things she heard daily. 

Even if they're not planning on nursing for the long term, teen moms are really encouraged to at least nurse for a few days so the baby gets colostrum.  I was born in the 50's and when my daughter was born in 1985, my mom just couldn't understand why I was going to nurse her. In the 50's, bottle sterilizers (bottles were glass back then) and all sorts of other gadgets were all the rage and a lot of women went that way. I gave my mom a list of reasons that went something like this:

1. Breast milk is the very best food you can feed your baby.

2. The baby gets immunities from mom.

3. The nice, warm milk is there 24/7. No need for sterilizing bottles and nipples and having your counters covered with all sorts of random stuff.

4. It was the best opportunity for bonding and irreplaceable time together.

5. It helps your uterus get back to normal size faster.

6. I have these boobs because they're meant to feed a baby. I'm going to use them!

I was lucky with both of my kids in that I didn't have any problems nursing. They both latched on right away and things went well. Even if I'd encountered problems, I know I would have reached out to LLL and asked for help. Aside from the health aspect, there was no way in hell I wanted to deal with the hassle of bottles and the cost of formula! When my son was 3 weeks old, his 5 year old sister brought  chickenpox home from kindergarten. I was terrified. My doctor eased my mind, telling me he was getting immunity from me and not to worry about it as long as I didn't let my daughter give him slobbery kisses. He didn't get chickenpox until he was 6 :)

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36 minutes ago, gonecrackers said:

I was a LLL member for several years; nursed all the kids including twins. I was starting training to be a leader, but had to conk out due to lack of time having a special needs child.

The first thing they will tell you to check if you feel pain is baby's latch on. If it's wrong, it can be painful, & the baby will not get enough milk. It is also the most common problem for beginning nursers, but even after a while nursing we could slip & forget...  bring the latch back where it should be & we were good to go again.

Of course there are other challenges that can come up; I did have mastitis once & it was not fun, but we got through it & kept nursing.

It takes some work, & definitely takes persistence depending on what kinds of challenges the nursing couple have, & it varies.

I can't help but doubt whether these girls will put that time in, & a lack of support around them will make it so much more difficult even if they do.,

LLL will always encourage breastfeeding & they have FREE help through their leaders internationally (no lactation consultant fees unless things get complicated & they refer). However, they will not coerce or guilt trip a mom to breastfeed (at least not from anything I've ever seen); in the end it's her decision to do what she feels is best.

What is LLL? 

I think breast feeding is a personal choice and I would never criticize or shame any woman who chooses not to do it. I also hate when people say nursing is good for bonding.   You can bond with a bottle fed baby just as well.  Bottle fed babies are just as healthy as nursing babies. I hate this. 

Edited by Maharincess
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What people? I apologized (added in later, again, sorry), for not clarifying. If you meant the girls, my hospital gave me their info; that was many years ago, so maybe some do some don't, but it's valuable info for moms interested in breastfeeding.

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18 minutes ago, Maharincess said:

What is LLL? 

I think breast feeding is a personal choice and I would never criticize or shame any woman who chooses not to do it. I also hate when people say nursing is good for bonding.   You can bond with a bottle fed baby just as well.  Bottle fed babies are just as healthy as nursing babies. I hate this. 

I didn't intend to sound like I was criticizing and I'm not shaming anyone. I only wanted to point out that a lot of teens are relying on misinformation when it comes to nursing. If they make an informed choice, good for them for whichever way they choose to go. Also, if any of these young women are strapped financially, nursing can make the budget stretch a lot farther if you don't have to spend hundreds of dollars a month on formula. From a health perspective, nursing does have benefits, especially during the first few months before a baby can start their vaccination series. I hope the moms and grandparents of the girls on this show help them consider all the info they're given and make the right choice for them.

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3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

What people? I apologized (added in later, again, sorry), for not clarifying. If you meant the girls, my hospital gave me their info; that was many years ago, so maybe some do some don't, but it's valuable info for moms interested in breastfeeding.

I meant, are people who read this thread supposed to know what LLL means?  I just think an acronym like that needs clarification of what it means. 

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3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

I was a LLL member for several years; nursed all the kids including twins. I was starting training to be a leader, but had to conk out due to lack of time having a special needs child.

The first thing they will tell you to check if you feel pain is baby's latch on. If it's wrong, it can be painful, & the baby will not get enough milk. It is also the most common problem for beginning nursers, but even after a while nursing we could slip & forget...  bring the latch back where it should be & we were good to go again.

Of course there are other challenges that can come up; I did have mastitis once & it was not fun, but we got through it & kept nursing.

It takes some work, & definitely takes persistence depending on what kinds of challenges the nursing couple have, & it varies.

I can't help but doubt whether these girls will put that time in, & a lack of support around them will make it so much more difficult even if they do.,

LLL will always encourage breastfeeding & they have FREE help through their leaders internationally (no lactation consultant fees unless things get complicated & they refer). However, they will not coerce or guilt trip a mom to breastfeed (at least not from anything I've ever seen); in the end it's her decision to do what she feels is best.

I was wrong and I LOVE it. An LLL member who watches the shows!! YAY!!! I loved your post! I did not know mastitis isn't a deal breaker; that's good to know. 

My cousin, who was 25 years older than me (my mom's one of 12, so there's a huge age gap in our family w/ aunts, uncles & cousins), was a member as well and my most vivid memories of her (she passed away last year from an unsuccessful third battle with cancer - she was such a badass!) were of her nursing both of her kids and looking like she was the happiest person on the planet. 

I apologize if I inferred that anyone from LLL would "criticize" any mom's choice not to breastfeed. Based on what I knew about my cousin's involvement and her ardent support, LLL and its members are all about doing what's best for each mom and not judging anyone. 

I am a twin and was not nursed. My mom said it was too hard to do with us because of the time. I don't have kids, so I have no idea how much time is really involved. I don't harbor any grievances about it though, I just think it's awesome you were able to nurse twins! My mom also went back to work when we were six weeks old. (No disrespect at all if you stayed at home - that's a job in itself and just as challenging!) It was her choice to go back so soon because she said she missed being around adults and doesn't apologize for it! I'm not sure about the possible options/established laws for new moms with regard to having time to pump/bottle/refrigerate her milk while at work when we were infants.

I have worked with pregnant women who have said "I need a certain prep/free period this year", and have gotten it, instead of prep periods being a random lottery, because they have to pump. I have no problem with that - that's how it should be for every new mom. 

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21 minutes ago, Maharincess said:
3 hours ago, gonecrackers said:

What people? I apologized (added in later, again, sorry), for not clarifying. If you meant the girls, my hospital gave me their info; that was many years ago, so maybe some do some don't, but it's valuable info for moms interested in breastfeeding.

I meant, are people who read this thread supposed to know what LLL means?  I just think an acronym like that needs clarification of what it means. 

Yeah, I realized later; sorry about that. There's no reason why everyone would know the acronym.

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23 minutes ago, Bridget said:

I was wrong and I LOVE it. An LLL member who watches the shows!! YAY!!! I loved your post! I did not know mastitis isn't a deal breaker; that's good to know. 

My cousin, who was 25 years older than me (my mom's one of 12, so there's a huge age gap in our family w/ aunts, uncles & cousins), was a member as well and my most vivid memories of her (she passed away last year from an unsuccessful third battle with cancer - she was such a badass!) were of her nursing both of her kids and looking like she was the happiest person on the planet. 

I apologize if I inferred that anyone from LLL would "criticize" any mom's choice not to breastfeed. Based on what I knew about my cousin's involvement and her ardent support, LLL and its members are all about doing what's best for each mom and not judging anyone. 

I am a twin and was not nursed. My mom said it was too hard to do with us because of the time. I don't have kids, so I have no idea how much time is really involved. I don't harbor any grievances about it though, I just think it's awesome you were able to nurse twins! My mom also went back to work when we were six weeks old. (No disrespect at all if you stayed at home - that's a job in itself and just as challenging!) It was her choice to go back so soon because she said she missed being around adults and doesn't apologize for it! I'm not sure about the possible options/established laws for new moms with regard to having time to pump/bottle/refrigerate her milk while at work when we were infants.

I have worked with pregnant women who have said "I need a certain prep/free period this year", and have gotten it, instead of prep periods being a random lottery, because they have to pump. I have no problem with that - that's how it should be for every new mom. 

Thank you for your kind words, & I'm so sorry about your cousin.

Yes, actually the best thing to do for mastitis is to nurse a lot (as well as rest & liquids)- helps heal it up quicker.

I'm sure there are judgemental people everywhere, even in LLL. But I know the leaders are trained to speak to moms they help without judgement, but they're each only human as well. It was formed because of breastfeeding moms needing that extra help & support, & it's a great service that really kept me going.

They will defer to lactation consultants if it's a true medical issue; I did consult with LC's with the twins & found them very helpful as well.

I can totally understand your mom needing to be around other adults! Being a stay at home mom can often be quite lonely. I made some nice friends in LLL as well, so it helps moms connect with other moms too, & also helps the moms who will be going back to work continue to breastfeed/pump etc, if that's what they will be doing.

Nursing is time consuming to some degree. There's patience needed while they eat, & if the girls go back to school they'd either have to supplement or pump. So either way, it's going to be work for them, but in different ways.

For me nursing was easier (no bottles etc to deal with) & of course, cheaper!  I had a myriad of issues with my kids to deal with & nursed through it all & I will say it was difficult but worth it for me/us.

I wonder how things are going to go for these girls; hopefully they won't have any complications given it's going to be tough enough for them.

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1 minute ago, PugMum said:

I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but here goes. Why the hell do none of these girls/and their families EVER consider adoption?!?!? I realize this particular show wouldn't exist if they did choose adoption, but I've just had enough of these immature, unskilled nitwits giving birth when they are just children. Do their parents not tell them ANYTHING about safe sex? STD's are a very real and scary possibility if you have unprotected sex. Planned Parenthood exists to provide great information and birth control. Those moms who are now going to be young grandmothers should be ashamed of themselves! It's not enough to lecture your daughters on how difficult it was. Taking them to the freaking doctor and get them on Norplant or an IUD to avoid this situation. And to all those who want to cut Mckayla's (?) birth mom some slack: stop it! That woman is 30-somehing going on 13. The kindest thing she could do for her daughter is go away.

Zero hell to be caught from me! I agree with you 100%!

Too bad McKayla's mom Shannon definitely won't choose adoption for her baby!

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I'd never give someone hell for mentioning adoption. Maybe they did consider it but it wasn't brought up, but because their moms were teen moms that probably made it more of a given for them they'd keep the baby. I can understand the pull to keep one's child, but wish as was said they'd consider more carefully how to prevent this from happening.

However, now with a baby the best thing for them to do is really commit to work on helping their own kids make better decisions someday & break the cycle.

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On 11/24/2017 at 11:31 PM, PugMum said:

I know I'm going to catch hell for this, but here goes. Why the hell do none of these girls/and their families EVER consider adoption?!?!? I realize this particular show wouldn't exist if they did choose adoption, but I've just had enough of these immature, unskilled nitwits giving birth when they are just children. Do their parents not tell them ANYTHING about safe sex? STD's are a very real and scary possibility if you have unprotected sex. Planned Parenthood exists to provide great information and birth control. Those moms who are now going to be young grandmothers should be ashamed of themselves! It's not enough to lecture your daughters on how difficult it was. Taking them to the freaking doctor and get them on Norplant or an IUD to avoid this situation. And to all those who want to cut Mckayla's (?) birth mom some slack: stop it! That woman is 30-somehing going on 13. The kindest thing she could do for her daughter is go away.

Hell to the yes!! I started talking about sex with my children before they even hit puberty. I made sure they knew if they decided to have sex that I'd be more than happy to help them get what they needed to be protected. They never asked for help, but thank God we didn't have any pregnancies or STD's. 

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Quote

Lexus finally gives birth. After getting ditched once again by James, a pregnant Lilly receives some tough love from her mother. Tensions between McKayla's mother and Caelen's mother finally erupt.

 

Edited by Christina
Fixed spelling of the names
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Shannon, McKayla's mom, was so childish that I don't believe she began using drugs at 20 or so. If you act like the age you were when you started using, it's pretty clear that Shannon was 13. 

I noticed that Lexus was laying in her hospital bed with makeup on. There was a woman in maternity with me who put her makeup on before the stupid class we had to take before discharge, and I hadn't even showered yet that day. I looked around and out of the seven of us, she was the only one with a full face of makeup and one of the other women were giving her side-eyes, and I realized she was the outlier, not me. 

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I looked it up because I was curious how expensive this Strawberry festival is and admission is $5 which I imagine Lilly's mom would have spotted him. If they went on Father's Day he could have gotten in for free!

Shannon is straight up ridiculous and so jealous of her daughter. 

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McKayla refers to Shannon as her biological mom. Then Shannon corrects Shelly and says she is "Mom, period !" I think bio mom is a more appropriate moniker.

 

Lexus in the hospital bed in labor, all dolled up lol. I looked like hell during childbirth. I was RIPE. Even if tv cameras had been there, my appearance would have been about 100th on my list of concerns.

 

Lily may be the biggest fool who ever lived. That boy can't even spend the afternoon with you & your parents. No way she can depend on him for anything.  She should cut her losses now and focus on her baby, their health and their future. He's a waste of time and energy.

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Imagine that! James didn't want to hang around a festival where there wouldn't be any fun for him.  Sorry Lily, you're about to learn that 16yr old boys are all about the fun.  And there ain't nothing less fun than responsibility. That boy is GONE!

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On 11/23/2017 at 4:44 PM, Bridget said:

You two moms need to write an instruction manual! I mean it! Whatever you did, you did it right! I salute you!

Well gee shucks....thank you!  Today my sons are in college, tomorrow who knows, but here are a few tips I would offer:

1) I was blessed with two mellow boys.  Temperament has A LOT to do with it.

2) I was 32 and 34 when birthing, had a college education.  Hubby was 35 and was FT employed.  (Critical!)

3)  Begin with the end in mind.

4)  Be consistent.  Lather Rinse and Repeat.  

5) Be the parent, not a friend - CRITICAL.  Set solid and realistic boundaries and say no a lot but yet be flexible when appropriate.  DO NOT ALLOW YOUR CHILD TO DEBATE WITH YOU.  I mean, what the hell?   

6) Value education and respect their teachers.  If there are issues at school listen and BE THERE.  It can be a phone call from work but be there.  Don't bad mouth their teachers at home - you are giving them permission to disrespect authority and that rarely ends well!!  LOL! 

7) LAUGH A LOT.  It is a lot of fun being a parent - raising up my two young men (you are raising adults, not kids) was the single greatest joy, ever.  I remarried in October and they were my "Best Men" - cause they are!!!!  I would do it again!!!  

On 11/23/2017 at 8:46 AM, Pepper Mostly said:

Good luck to your sons! Fun fact, I work at a large university in Cambridge MA, (not Harvard!) in the MechE department. The students are smart, cool and very, very focused. Its a great discipline with endless opportunities!!

Thanks - my younger one is the engineering guy and he lettered in Robotics all four years in HS - was captain his senior year yet I can't screw in a lightbulb!!  Older son wants to be a sports writer - I am trying to help him land some internships - hopefully he will travel a lot as he loves to travel and fly.  For a kid who had separation anxiety for years (and I do mean years) this is huge!!!

Back to show - I missed last night's episode.  I did see a rerun of James saying he was going to skip the birthing class.  Dude is pretty cocky, no?  Frankly I am waiting for him to show up at some function with a new girlfriend.  Seriously.  

Per the above poster who mentioned adoption:  Hells to the YES!  Grandparents who raised granddaughter - you are both now in your early 60's!!!!  You wanna go around again??  No no and again, NO!  "Come with me, pregnant daughter/granddaughter. Here is section 8 housing/rent controlled housing, here are diaper/formula/food costs.  Here are utility bills, and oh here is your cellphone bill.  And that car in the driveway?  Here is the payment book and don't forget insurance.  Oh wait!  YOU ARE FIFTEEN!  Here is the bus schedule.  And lastly, here is the worship guide for the local church as you better get on your knees and pray that your baby never gets sick as you have no way to drive baby to the doctor.  Grandpa and I are going to Arizona - see ya later!!"

Had I birthed a daughter I would have been shoving a birth control shot into her ass or arm or whatever opening was available from the time she was fifteen until the day before she turned 18.  Seriously.

Edited by Mrs. Hanson
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On 11/24/2017 at 2:51 PM, lovesnark said:

A lot of teen girls think that breast feeding is gross. They're fine to get naked and have sex with their boyfriends, but a nursing baby is gross. Alrighty, then. I've heard teenage girls actually say "No baby is gonna suck my boob! That's disgusting!" I believe another reason some may nurse for a day or two then quit is because it hurts like hell for a week or so. The first couple days, it's fine. Then, your nipples crack and it hurts REALLY bad until things toughen up. I remember stomping my feet on the floor saying 'ouch, ouch,ouch!!!' when my daughter was a few days old and wondering why in hell no one told me this little tidbit in the classes I took. Nursing is so much easier than getting up at 3:00 am and making a bottle. You get so you can do middle of the night feedings without even waking up all the way-LOL!

This is very true. When I had my 2nd son we had moved back to be near my family. My younger sisters were still in college at the time (they're 9 and 11 years younger than me). The 21-year-old found nursing so repulsive. She said she could never imagine doing that (she didn't even want kids). She's now almost 30 herself and has two babes that she nursed for at least a year each. She was the queen of pumping at work! I was so impressed. This is just another reason you wait to have kids. Teenagers are very impatient and impulsive, and not very well informed. 

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44 minutes ago, Chris Knight said:

I looked like hell during childbirth. I was RIPE.

I broke blood vessels in my eyes and from photos afterwards I apparently grew three chins.

 

35 minutes ago, Brooklynista said:

Imagine that! James didn't want to hang around a festival where there wouldn't be any fun for him.  Sorry Lily, you're about to learn that 16yr old boys are all about the fun.  And there ain't nothing less fun than responsibility. That boy is GONE!

He does not want to hang out AT A FAIR - what does she think will happen when the baby poops or gets sick?  I mean, really......Does James have a job?

 

46 minutes ago, Chris Knight said:

Lily may be the biggest fool who ever lived

Yes - yes she is.  Just....not bright.

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47 minutes ago, Chris Knight said:

McKayla refers to Shannon as her biological mom. Then Shannon corrects Shelly and says she is "Mom, period !" I think bio mom is a more appropriate moniker.

Ugh, Shannon just grates. At the baby shower, she was somewhat insulted by the idea of putting parenting advice in a bottle. Because, you know, she's the MOM. She'll just SHOW McKayla how to parent. (Hopefully not by abandoning her kid for years and then showing back up when TLC arrives.)

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Shannon can't win.  The sooner she accepts that and just does she feels is best for her relationship with her daughter, without worrying about any outside influence or opinion other than McKayla, the better off her and McKayla will be as far as that relationship goes.  The only person whose opinion matters on the subject is McKayla.  I understood where Shannon was coming from when she was talking about not stepping on her parents' toes when it came to parenting McKayla.  Who knows?  They could have made it very clear to Shannon when they took over responsibilities for McKayla and her siblings that THEY were in charge and she couldn't pop in for the good stuff whenever she wanted.

Shannon needs to stop crying and whining and forget about Shelley (and vice versa) because nothing she ever does will be good enough.  Shelley will always find fault even if she ends up talking out of both sides of her mouth like a fool.  According to Shelley, it's wrong that Shannon wasn't around to take care of her kids (which it is), but when she tries to come around and be a part of things (yes, the shared shower was a dumb and selfish idea), since McKayla has said that's what she wants,  no matter what one may believe about WHY, that's wrong too.  Shelley doesn't want Shannon to be a part of the shower and make McKayla's day about her and McKayla should be the focus, but then bitches when Shannon doesn't give a speech at the shower.  Gee Shelley, maybe if you hadn't been petty for about two seconds, you could simply have given her heads up that since you were giving a speech as the future grandmother, maybe she would like to give one too.  But that would have been one less thing for her to be a bitch about.    McKayla's grandmother didn't seem to appreciate her attitude either when she said in the couch portion that nothing involving Shannon affects Shelley at all.

 

I don't completely fault her though as McKayla seems to be playing them off each other, possibly unintentionally.  She says on camera and probably to Shannon that she wants her around, but appears to present the opposite feeling to Shelley, who reacts in turn.  McKayla wants her mother, but she also wants all the perks that Shelley as a mom can provide as well.  I'm not buying her sweet, dim, innocent act.  She looks positively angelic in comparison to the other girls, but as I mentioned in another post, I think she and Caelan (who apparently doesn't even work based on the grandfather in one of those commercials for the online extra content saying that he needs to get a job) will begin to show their true colors next week if the previews are any indication.  Her telling her grandfather in his own house that Caelan will be spending the night and that he needs to get used to it?  No, ma'am.

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4 hours ago, ghoulina said:

Okay, I think it was super uncool of James to bail on the Strawberry Festival because Lily can't ride the rides. And it makes me laugh how Lily was all, "IF James and I break up, which would be super weird and unlikely" (as weird and unlikely as him cancelling Strawberry Fest plans?) "I know he'd still be a good dad to our baby". Okay. Maybe. But you knew him all of 3 months before he knocked you up, so how much do you really know??? Anyhow, back to my point - James is a punk, but if her parents mentioned how "disappointed" they were ONE MORE TIME, even I was going to lose it!!! They are super annoying. 

 

 

I believe I actually snorted audibly when poor, dim little Lilly said "If James and I break up...". Oh honey. He is three quarters of the way out the door now.

Her parents were extremely annoying, though. Droning on and on and on. Jesus, I'm not a pregnant teenager and I was ready to storm off to my room and slam the door. Shut. Up. For 20 minutes talk about something else.

1 hour ago, ghoulina said:

Ugh, Shannon just grates. At the baby shower, she was somewhat insulted by the idea of putting parenting advice in a bottle. Because, you know, she's the MOM. She'll just SHOW McKayla how to parent. (Hopefully not by abandoning her kid for years and then showing back up when TLC arrives.)

Shannon wanted the red carpet rolled out for her, I guess? "and here she is, the drug addled mother of the pregnant teen she abandoned, Shannon!" She acted like a 13 year old throughout the shower. I especially enjoyed her passive aggressive muttering under her breath. Charming!

Her meeting with Shelly was ridiculous. "I want us to be civil". OK, if that's the case you don't start with yelling, finger pointing, and accusations; and throw a silly threat over your shoulder as you lumber away. Just a little life tip for you, Shannon. It must be exhausting to live with her.

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2 hours ago, Mrs. Hanson said:

I broke blood vessels in my eyes and from photos afterwards I apparently grew three chins.

 

He does not want to hang out AT A FAIR - what does she think will happen when the baby poops or gets sick?  I mean, really......Does James have a job?

 

Yes - yes she is.  Just....not bright.

Lol! I broke capillaries in my entire face. I looked like I had measles. It was funny to walk down the hall and watch people give me the side eye.

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Shannon is just extra special, isn't she? She can have many seats. I didn't get the sense that she asked if she could in any way help. But she is going to dispense parenting advice to McKayla in person, because why? I mean, she didn't raise her own child. That said, Shelly has no bragging rights here, where was she while her kid was out impregnating another kid?

Oh Lily, this is just the first in a long line of disappointments for you. 

I felt bad for Lexus. She looked like she was in extreme pain. I know that she probably wanted to go natural, but I was shouting someone give that girl an epidural to my TV screen. The baby was super cute. 

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1 hour ago, poeticlicensed said:

Shannon is just extra special, isn't she? She can have many seats. I didn't get the sense that she asked if she could in any way help. But she is going to dispense parenting advice to McKayla in person, because why? I mean, she didn't raise her own child. That said, Shelly has no bragging rights here, where was she while her kid was out impregnating another kid?

Oh Lily, this is just the first in a long line of disappointments for you. 

I felt bad for Lexus. She looked like she was in extreme pain. I know that she probably wanted to go natural, but I was shouting someone give that girl an epidural to my TV screen. The baby was super cute. 

Shannon and Shelly were both just ridiculous. "You never called me!" You never offered!" "You never asked!". Someone has to be the adult and pick up the phone. Neither of them chose to do so. Now they're both passive aggressively mad at the other one because they both know deep down that this did not have to go down this way. But they are apparently both still in middle school.

Poor Lilly is going to have five kids by the time she's 23. It'll be the Real Thing each time. "This time he really means it! He can't wait to be a dad!"

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