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S05.E04: Week 3: Part 1

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25 minutes ago, Ms Blue Jay said:

I love big butts on guys (and I cannot lie). 

I like muscular butts on guys.  Wills and Jordan have waddle butts when they walk, which makes them look kinda loose and sloppy.  There's a difference between muscular butt and waddle butt, IMO. 

And now I'll butt out. ; )

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1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

If you're talking about throwing the picture into the pool, it wasn't Jordan.

I remember that it was Lincoln who`s picture it was, but who threw it? I really am struggling to remember. 

1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

My problem with the tirade was that everyone seemed upset that it was directed at women, in particular.  But I'm always sensitive to that sort of thing.  "Don't talk to a woman like that."  How about, "Don't talk to anyone like that?" 

 

Yeah, it was weird how that was phrased. I get if they were especially upset at him yelling at people who were just bystanders and did nothing at all to him, or, honestly, anyone, because that reaction was nuts, but the whole "dont yell at the girls like that!" seemed really oddly phrased. Like, "oh no, dont yell at the women folk, they're sensitive, they might faint!" instead of "stop yelling at people you Ken Doll outfit wearing dickhead!" 

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3 minutes ago, tennisgurl said:
1 hour ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

If you're talking about throwing the picture into the pool, it wasn't Jordan.

I remember that it was Lincoln who`s picture it was, but who threw it? I really am struggling to remember. 

It was some dude named Connor I think. One of the generic brunettes Becca had to choose from. I had a lot of trouble telling them apart. But I don't think it's anyone who has yet shown up in Paradise. 

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9 minutes ago, DeeciePlum said:

It was Connor who threw the picture in the pool.  Connor was the guy who looked so much better when he wore his glasses!

One of the  many asshats from Becca's season 

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So do these women know about Leo’s past? It seems odd to watch them all fawning over a guy accused of sexual harassment. 

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2 hours ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

Could be, but I actually laughed out loud as he did it.  Well, once I noticed he choked it before throwing it into the ocean.

I had to watch it twice because the first time I thought he was humping it (whoa, bold choice!).

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I ♥️ Nysha. Her commentary is great. 

Ok. Kevin's commentary is pretty awesome, too.

"You're too much fun." lol Jordan is cute. She lights him up.  ??

Ack! Love language. The Duggars and Bachelor in Paradise have collided.

Edit: he's not THAT cute. 'Shut the fuck up.' Ew. 

Edited by woodscommaelle
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On 8/20/2018 at 5:30 PM, CindyBee said:

Is Colton the wishy-washyish person to ever be on this show!?!?

Is it possible that he doesn't know that he might be gay???????

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21 hours ago, TiredMe said:

I think I'm one of the few that don't really get John. He's really unattractive. I guess he seems somewhat normal and would be better for the real world but this is BIP!

If it weren't for Jordan's ridiculous antics, I'd probably have already tuned out. The Colton Tia drama isn't entertaining at all. 

Add Jubilee and you have two dull bumps on a log.  I’m sure he’s smart, but he’s boring.

and the T/C drama is awful.  I really find Tia sexy and she has a real grown up job, but the woman is so insecure, but most of them are.  We need a confident, secure woman like Tina Fabulous back in Bachelor nation. 

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On 8/20/2018 at 10:17 PM, JenE4 said:

David stepped away and then came back soaking wet. What happened to him? Was he IN the dog, like the chicken costume? Is that why it was so heavy that Annaliese couldn’t drag it out of the water?

All of your cheese references were entertaining the hell out of me but then this made me laugh so hard. Your posts are my favorite. Thanks!

Chris was DEAD TO ME as soon as he started gaslighting Tia. I had an ex who used to do that shit. Then she said they were done and he goes "Yeah, I already made that decision." Just leave, you creep.

Bibiana's sappy heartfelt advice about how Colton just had to choose Tia because of some imaginary beautiful story that involves Tia following him around every day begging him to love her? That would have been enough to make me walk out if I were Colton, but so very thankfully I am not, and he decided that yes, being borderline stalked does mean that he should give this girl a shot.

I didn't care for the whole shocked attitude about the fact that Jordan dared to swear at women. So what? When the women on this show curse out men it's treated as some kind of empowering action. He wasn't threatening them. You're not limited to verbally expressing anger only towards your own gender. 

Ew, Kenny! Annaleise?! Over Jacqueline?? I am so mad at you. Couldn't Kendall have given Jacqueline a rose like she wanted to? At least John picked Jubilee. That said, I was impressed for the first time by Kenny tonight in general. Maybe if he had stopped talking about his daughter (and Lee) for two seconds on his season to drop some references to travel and literature I would have formed a different opinion of him in the first place. He had some smooth lines. "I'm taking my shirt off because it's hot... and because I'm hot." 

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On 8/20/2018 at 11:00 PM, GracieK said:

I'm not much of a Tia fan but I did love her reaction to the bullshit Chris was spewing. It was basically amused incredulity.. like yeah dude your creepy attempts at gaslighting aren't going to work on me.. see ya.

I was so hoping Krystal was going to dump his ass after that little display. Talking out of both sides of his mouth and the classic "I already dumped you in my mind so you being the first one to dump me out loud doesn't count" routine...what a catch. She must really be trying to punish Tia for Arie's season, because the best move there was to instantly drop Chris after witnessing that. 

Also, didn't Chris' grand plan of appetizers, dinner, dessert (as described in excruciating detail with Jordan) include a third woman? Can't remember who it was. Krystal's not going to enjoy watching that scene play out on TV. 

The editing of the post-triangle conversation made absolutely no sense. Krystal's pensive margarita sipping and crying-without-tears by the hot tub didn't seem proportionate to the scene we saw. 

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I don't know how he looked before Bachelorette/BIP but Jordan looks kind of "soft" to be a male model.  Maybe too much alcohol and food and lazing around?  

Yeah, his intro with him lying on his side in the gold underwear doesn't do his abs any favors, looks a little poochy. You'd think a master model would know how to hit his angles a little better! 

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Simply cannot believe how many gorgeous girls the utterly undeserving Arie had on his season.  (No, not Tia.)  Jacqueline!  Beautiful.  And so smart.  Much like Kendall in both respects.

I don't find Jacqueline all that pretty, but agree that she seems very similar to Kendall in other ways, including that they both don't seem to have the social aspect of dating down. They're smart, but rather awkward, and not a good fit for this kind of environment. It doesn't surprise me that Jacqueline came and went so quickly.

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We saw John steaming his shirt earlier but he’s crinkled and creased by night’s end anyway. 

I noticed him steaming his shirt, but I could swear the shirt was dirty as he was doing it. It does seem like a bit of a wasted effort given the climate.

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David presents his enormous dog - stuffed animal that is - to Jenna and David is dogged enormously by Jordan who casts it into the surf.  Jenna’s façade cracks noticeably.  She’s not impressed.  She’s even less impressed when Jordan loses the plot and begins effing and blinding at Chelsea and Jubilee, who amusingly cock their heads in opposite directions at the opprobrium.  Jubilee wishes she still had her army bayonet.  And so do we.  Jordan later issues the most insincere apology IN BACHELOR HISTORY.

I don't know what the crossover was in the filming of this and the airing of Becca's season, but if David knows what an enormously stalker-y, possibly lovestruck idiot he looked like with his fixation on Jordan, it's mind-blowing that he continues to be such a weirdo with desperately trying to get to Jenna. An obsession with her birthday from a person that she has no relationship with? What possible good outcome could he be expecting? What are the odds that he's given her the "settling" speech already? Or is he saving that for his post-birthday move, since it was just so successful the last two times he pulled it. 

As for Jordan though, his true colors shone through, didn't they? Good thing Chelsea and Jubilee are both lovely women physically or I'm pretty sure he would have gone very low in his tirade against them. Glad they both stayed too, after he assumed Jubilee was a goner. 

Also, I agree that that was the most insincere apology ever and I couldn't believe my ears when someone gave him credit for his sincerity. He was completely backed into a corner and nothing about his words or tone conveyed any regret at all about anything he said. 

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13 minutes ago, ljenkins782 said:

Talking out of both sides of his mouth and the classic "I already dumped you in my mind so you being the first one to dump me out loud doesn't count" routine...what a catch.

Chris also said the jaw dropping line about how he couldn't believe Tia was making  a big deal out of the small detail that he "had a moment," with another girl.  He said that "had a moment," a few times which makes me think he's tried to whitewash infidelity with that line in the past.  What a horrible husband he'll make some poor woman.

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Chris is probably the biggest loser to appear on this show. What a douchebag. He's such a little creep. I can't stand Tia but I actually loved her in that moment she looked at him like he was insane when he was trying to gaslight her. He was all about trying to repair things with Tia and then suddenly when he realizes Tia isn't buying his bs he switches to he's already dumped Tia and is into Krystal. Except he really doesn't give a shit about Krystal either becasue he didn't even talk to her or kiss her after. He actually followed Tia to the bar. Krystal is so pretty. I don't understand these women's horrible self esteem. Most are better looking than the majority of the men there yet they are boo hooing that no one is into them. 

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I am shocked that someone didn’t give Bibiana a rose because she deserved to find love.

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16 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Who is the vacant mouth breathing guy from Canada?   He was sitting next to Jordan with dead eyes

That's got to be Kevin, about whom I know nothing.  I can barely even look at him because of that always open narrow mouth with those teeth.

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17 hours ago, Meowwww said:

Who is the vacant mouth breathing guy from Canada?   He was sitting next to Jordan with dead eyes

 

52 minutes ago, StatisticalOutlier said:

That's got to be Kevin, about whom I know nothing.  I can barely even look at him because of that always open narrow mouth with those teeth.

Kevin was the "winner" of the Bachelorette Canada.  Then he was on Bachelor Winter Games and won Ashley I (and apparently her V-card).  

He's also a firefighter, so, in the real world, he actually has a good job.  ETA:  and when asked out on a date, he actually said no because he was with someone.  I really respect that.

Edited by DEL901
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6 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

Kevin was the "winner" of the Bachelorette Canada.  Then he was on Bachelor Winter Games and won Ashley I (and apparently her V-card).  

He's also a firefighter, so, in the real world, he actually has a good job.

Kevin seems like a chill, reasonable guy. I don't think I'd hang out with many of the guys from the franchise, but Kevin could be in my secondary friend group. I'd love to have Jordan in my tertiary friend group. 

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19 minutes ago, DEL901 said:

 

Kevin was the "winner" of the Bachelorette Canada.  Then he was on Bachelor Winter Games and won Ashley I (and apparently her V-card).  

He's also a firefighter, so, in the real world, he actually has a good job.  ETA:  and when asked out on a date, he actually said no because he was with someone.  I really respect that.

Who asked Kevin out? I don't remember that. 

He seems like a cool guy and he and Astrid have a nice, relaxed vibe together. That seems like the best way to approach BiP if you're not a crazy drama queen, just find someone cool that you like and give each other roses while you ride out your free beach vacation. 

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1 hour ago, ljenkins782 said:

Who asked Kevin out? I don't remember that. 

He seems like a cool guy and he and Astrid have a nice, relaxed vibe together. That seems like the best way to approach BiP if you're not a crazy drama queen, just find someone cool that you like and give each other roses while you ride out your free beach vacation. 

Jubilee pulled him aside when she first came on and Kevin told her up front that he's exploring things with Astrid so he wouldn't think it right to accept the date of Jubilee did pick him. So technically he didn't refuse an offered date, but he basically did/would have.

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3 hours ago, DEL901 said:

Kevin was the "winner" of the Bachelorette Canada.  Then he was on Bachelor Winter Games

The biggest surprise for me with Kevin given I'd only seen him on Winter Games was the amount of tattoos his being shirtless revealed.

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5 hours ago, rlc said:

I am shocked that someone didn’t give Bibiana a rose because she deserved to find love.

Actually, had she just acted like herself and started some conversations, she’d still be there.  But she had to do all that bullshit ladyparts talk and spicy whatever.   She has a decent personality and is attractive.  She’s like most of them-socially awkward .  They have to go on the show because they’re too insecure to force themselves to date IRL.   It’s a paradox. 

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3 minutes ago, backformore said:

I remember Kevin and Bibianna we're a couple on Winter Games, but it didn't last long.  Or am I getting them mixed up?

No, Kevin was with Ashley, and they went off into the sunset together as the gold medalist Right Reasons couple. (But she dumped him for Jared.) Bibi was with some guy from New Zealand, I think? I forgot what his name was, though. He wanted a relationship and she freaked out and dumped him.

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1 hour ago, backformore said:

I remember Kevin and Bibianna we're a couple on Winter Games, but it didn't last long.  Or am I getting them mixed up?

You're not wrong.  They started out together, but didn't last.  

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3 hours ago, backformore said:

I remember Kevin and Bibianna we're a couple on Winter Games, but it didn't last long.  Or am I getting them mixed up?

 

3 hours ago, JenE4 said:

No, Kevin was with Ashley, and they went off into the sunset together as the gold medalist Right Reasons couple. (But she dumped him for Jared.) Bibi was with some guy from New Zealand, I think? I forgot what his name was, though. He wanted a relationship and she freaked out and dumped him.

 

2 hours ago, Fable said:

You're not wrong.  They started out together, but didn't last.  

Bibiana had a crush on Kevin, but then Ashley I swooped in and Kevin chose to date her. Jordan showed up later than everyone else because he had visa issues, so by the time he got there Bibi was already over Kevin.

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Oh, that’s right! I do remember Ashley SOBBING over Kevin. That was when she was afraid Bibi was going to swoop him up.

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I don't understand these fame hoes desperation. They act like if they go home they will never find love. As though their perfect match is definately on that island. Most are frantic (looking at u Tia, Jackie, Annalise Krystal) to find someone to call their own even when it makes no sense. Annalise suddenly falling for Kenny a day after she saw marriage with Jordan lol. Hello there are men on the planet outside of this show. One woukd think these guys were the last men on earth. Good God Tia coukd not be more delusional. I was proud of her for not falling for Chris's bs. But then Tia started on Colton and when she was tellijg him if she just wanted to stay in Mexico she woukd have just stayed with Chris but basically Colton was special becaise she CHOSE him. Like she made some big sacrifice to be with him. Sweetie u are a bit dim and delsional. Chris didn't want u. He made that clear by kissing Krystal as soon as Tia was out of sight. He then tried to gaslight her and he was obviously more intersted in Krystal because as soon as Krystal appeared he thew Tia under the bus. Colton also rejected tias advances. Several times. From when he chose the Bachelorette over having a second date with Tia, after he left Becca season and while in Mexico he tried to explain he wasn't really feeling Tia but didn't want to hurt her by leading her on so he didn't want to date her. She's basically the new Ashley I who won't let go even when told no a hundred times. I think Colton likes Tia as a friend and doesn't want to see her hurt but he has little romantic interest in her. 

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6 minutes ago, kira28 said:

They act like if they go home they will never find love. As though their perfect match is definately on that island.

In there defense, do you think anyone in the real world would want to date these losers?

Really, if I met a guy in the bar and I thought he was cute, and tried to make some small talk, the second he mentioned he was on this shit show I'd run as fast as my little legs could carry me as far from him as possible. I really have no respect for any of them, even the "nice" ones that I like. I would second guess what kind of person he is knowing he participated in this mess. I'd also wonder what diseases he might have brought back from Butthole Mexico. (not a dig on Mexico but on this particular "resort" which looks kind of like it was built out of cardboard boxes by a low end theater troupe to do summer stock productions of How the Worm Churns.

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On 8/23/2018 at 3:26 PM, Mu Shu said:

Actually, had she just acted like herself and started some conversations, she’d still be there.  But she had to do all that bullshit ladyparts talk and spicy whatever.   She has a decent personality and is attractive.  She’s like most of them-socially awkward .  They have to go on the show because they’re too insecure to force themselves to date IRL.   It’s a paradox. 

It didn't bother me a bit to see Bibiana leave, nobody was interested in hearing any skanky details about her ladyparts or pursuing the possibilities. She offered nothing for the show. 

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7 hours ago, kira28 said:

I think Colton likes Tia as a friend and doesn't want to see her hurt but he has little romantic interest in her. 

I don't think Colton has little romantic interest in anyone!

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Wow, the toxic masculinity bullshit on display this week was downright nauseating. Chris & Jordan's in-depth discussion of Chris's theoretical four-date evening, as though all the women involved were basically just objects? Gross. Chris's attempt at gaslighting Tia? Infuriating, although awesome to see her see right through it and immediately walk away. Krystal gave signs that she might do the same after witnessing it, but I guess the desire to stay on TV won out over that. However, if she thinks he won't play her just as hard given the slightest opportunity, I think she will find herself sadly mistaken. Jordan's outburst? Quite disturbing. I'll admit that, having not watched Becca's season, I have not witnessed the whole Jordan-David saga, and if David really has just been prodding for however long that is in real life, at a certain point, I suppose it's not that surprising that Jordan would eventually snap. But seriously, the sheer possessiveness of the silent grabbing of the giant dog, the appalling behaviour toward entirely unrelated people, the insistence that his permission is required to give "his" woman a gift... It all just gives me the willies. I was really really hoping that Jenna would refuse the rose, or at the very least, accept it only with the warning that this would be his only chance, and that any hint of this sort of behaviour again and it's over. But she did seem to at least recognize it as troubling, so hopefully they will have that conversation, whether we see it or not, and hopefully she'll stick to her guns about it.

Also, I didn't much care for Bibiana on Arie's season, but I was enjoying her commentary here, and I'm sorry to see her go. Couldn't we just keep her around for the commentary?

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On 8/23/2018 at 9:42 AM, DEL901 said:

 

Kevin was the "winner" of the Bachelorette Canada.  Then he was on Bachelor Winter Games and won Ashley I (and apparently her V-card).  

He's also a firefighter, so, in the real world, he actually has a good job.  ETA:  and when asked out on a date, he actually said no because he was with someone.  I really respect that.

I couldn't stand Kevin on Bachelorette Canada, and his mother is batshit insane. He was very possessive of the Bachelorette so I tend to believe he hasn't changed that much and will be the same if anyone dares look at Astrid.

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