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S05.E05: Week 3: Part 2

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Thanks for the update on Raven, Cindy Bee! I am amazed how fast these ladies see a future with guys they’ve spent a few hours with. Have some self respect for goodness sake. Oh that’s right this is ABC and the Bachelor Nation ??

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15 minutes ago, dizzyd said:

The only good thing to come out of winter games was Courtney and Lily, they were adorable and hopefully still together.

That’s because they weren’t marred by interacting with an American. If you watched the show, you saw the international people behaved totally different than the Americans, probably because the celebrity level isn’t the same. Courtney and Lilly could act like human beings around each other rather than try to decipher the animal behavior of the American Reality TV wildebeest. 

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What I don't get is how these people hang out 24 hours a day with the person they're with for a few weeks .. and then a rando asks them on a date and they don't hesitate at all to say yes in front of the other person . I know the whole point of the show is to date different people , but wouldn't you at least feel awkward in front of the person you've been hanging out with 24/7 accepting another date ? They're all just like , " sure ! "

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Nick left and now Joe is the new third member of Goose’s Gander. Or, the “sloppy segundos” of the bromance.

Jorge!!! The novel re-enactment is exactly the kind of fun this show’s been missing. (But glad that’s the extent of those fame whores being back.) Jorge’s romance novel sounds better than Harrison’s—not that that’s saying much. I mean, the plot and characterization didn’t really make sense, but Amanda played a social media influencer, so it rang true to life.

Kendall is leaving Joe over Leo but Leo is making the rounds. Leo expects Kendall to be his woman—while he feels out the competition. So... just like everyone else on this show so far. I think I’ve lost the ability to be outraged on behalf of Right Reasons or whatever. 

It’s Jorge again! Jorge’s tour-heys. Raven looks different. Lip fillers, maybe? Or maybe because I always get her mixed up with Tia that I expect her to look like Tia. Raven is speaking the truth, but we all know Tia won’t listen, despite the tears. Yep, they’re changing their Facebook status to In a Relationship.

Wow! Jenna didn’t even do the requisite sit down and explain to Jordan that she wants to pursue all avenues to ensure what they have is real yadda-yadda—just runs right out into the rain with Benoit! And, OMG, that was Jordan’s big dream to run with her in the rain. {Sad trombone}

Jenna is really getting in there kissing Benoit! Lady and the Tramping a churro! Snort! And now she’s carrying him! They’re my second favorite couple (after John and Jubilee). Jordan is going to be crushed—and I’m going to love every minute of it.

Jordan stayed up all night waiting for Jenna. Oh, jeez, I wasn’t prepared for Jordan to say “I can’t fake this” and then act all normal and vulnerable. Now I feel bad for the guy.

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1 minute ago, Jaclyn88 said:

What I don't get is how these people hang out 24 hours a day with the person they're with for a few weeks .. and then a rando asks them on a date and they don't hesitate at all to say yes in front of the other person . I know the whole point of the show is to date different people , but wouldn't you at least feel awkward in front of the person you've been hanging out with 24/7 accepting another date ? They're all just like , " sure ! "

Not all. Kevin turned down a date. Past seasons others have turned down dates. This season it seems like these couples have less of a connection, however if a guy did what Kendall did to Joe I’m sure he’d be getting called out for it. 

 

The BEST was season 1. Lacey was seen as “the prize” that everyone wanted. Two guys were really into her. Guy 1 gets a date card, asks her out, and then they’re pretty much inseparable. And then at the rose ceremony, Guy 2 is up and picks Lacey to give his rose. JUST because he goes first in the ceremony, she says “yes” and then the two of them are a couple that leaves engaged and comes back next season to get married. Sorry I don’t remember the dude’s name, but that is CRAZY! She was totally into one guy, but then completely flips just because the other guy offers her a rose. AND EVERYONE ACTED LIKE THIS WAS NORMAL!!

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Accepting a date with a new guy is the only way to get off the resort grounds and do something other than sit around all day on overstuffed cushions.

 

i assume that’s the prime motivation in taking the date, even if they like their current beau.

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37 minutes ago, Rainsong said:

.  Neil Lane is on standby in his home tanning bed.

OMG, Rainsong, you are on fire!

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Fastest way to turn me off...

”Because I’m an alpha, so...”

wtf. If you have to state your alpha-ness you clearly are not. Is Leo on those female-hating man-first message boards? 

Uggggh Kendall. Please recognize your mistake next week and hope Joe gives you another chance.

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2 hours ago, leighdear said:

And Jorts?  Really?

Yes, way to dress up for your date... he didn't change from how he came in. Dude, put some pants on at least!

Jenna looked pretty gorgeous actually and she wasn't an OTT caricature during their date, which I appreciated. Sometimes you can be TOO similar to someone and it makes people want to shoot the both of you... Jordan/Jenna were getting pretty damn close to that line I think.

Anyways another thing I appreciate is that she has a well done and attractive looking tattoo, as if someone with actual talent did it for her.

The MOST SHOCKING MOMENT EVER occurred tonight, Colton got a date card!! *faints* I hope that now that they're 'official' we've now seen about as much as we will and they will fade now that their 'story' is over until the forced engagement at the end of this season.

Tia and Raven really are foul-mouthed always keepin' it klassy soul sisters, aren't they? Gads...

I'm trying to give Kendall benefit of the doubt what with the heat and her not knowing what a cretin Leo is... but she's in danger of losing status. As I forget who said 'Kendall is the least crazy of all of us' and I'd like her to stay that way!

Edited by Wandering Snark
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DVR'd this thing again. Skipping Tia and Dolton, returning couples, and commercials clocked in at about 50 minutes. 

Jordan might have realized that a tantrum and cursing out women isn't smooth, no matter how many flower beds you're wearing. 

Kendall is an idiot. And ABC sucks for letting that walking sexual harassment suit Leo anywhere near these people.

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Really....another daye for Colton when the majority of these people haven’t?  So sick of him. I wish the rest of the cast had revolted or something, though they probably enjoy actually getting to eat their food.

first episode I can’t really find anything good to say, 

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I find tia way more annoying than Colton . She has 0 intuition and needs to learn how to play hard to get . She practically begs the guy to be with her every time they're on the screen together . 

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"Do you know where he is", says Jenna when referring to Jordan whether she should talk to him before her date with Benoit.

Uh, how many places, nooks and crannies are there in Paradise where you can't find anyone? It is not as if one can get in a car, or an Uber and just leave...??

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Bradfordo! This. This is the kind of thing I expect on BiP. 

What is the point of Yuki?

Leo is just not attractive. 

Colton is so lost. Trying to walk and talk or sit and talk are way too taxing for him.

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1 hour ago, backformore said:

Do grown-ups who are dating have to do the "will you be my girlfriend?"  thing?  It just seems so high school to me. 

Colton and Tia are not exactly mature adults. Perpetual teens.

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Coming into this episode, I was looking for two things:

  1. Kendall's ass in bikini bottoms
  2. Arie getting ripped into nuggets when he showed up in front of all the women from his season and all the guys from Becca's who had to hear about him whenever they spoke to Becca for more than 10 seconds

I was robbed of both. First by the Blur Bar (what on earth was she wearing that required that? Does she have a Survivor tattoo on her butt?) and then by ABC's decision to preserve Arie's life.

Arie: "I can't go down there with those people. Definitely not with Tia still around. She can kill a deer with her bare hands."
ABC: "Nah, it'll be fine. Tia's distracted and we promise Caroline and Bibiana will be gone by then."
Arie: "I don't know. I can't think of anyone in Bachelor Nation that would be safe for Lauren and me to be around."
ABC: ".... Ben Higgins in a sombrero?"
Arie: "When's our flight?"

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In Kendall's defense:  I don't think she was ever as into Joe as he was into her.  Thus far he had been making awkward conversation with her, while she would repeat  back what he had just said, and they would both laugh at how awkward it was.    At least that's how it sounded to me considering I've never, on any season, been able to understand what Kendall said past the first three words of every sentence.  What Joe lacks for Kendall is the confident bearing that almost caused her to stand at attention when Leo came down the steps.  In contrast Joe has the toe shuffling, squirmy, poor eye contact  style of a boy on his first date, or if you prefer -- Dean.  She said as much to Leo when she said, "I could tell right from the start thatyouknowhoyouare. 

We can't insist that Kendall like Joe because he likes her, anymore than we could insist Colton like Tia.  It's partly Joe's fault for keeping the relationship giggly and silly when he should have led it to a more grown-up level of sincerity.  Faint heart never one fair lady, Joe! 

Kendall will find out Leo's a jerk within a few ,but she'll always have him to thank for getting her away from Joe, who I never thought was quite right for her.

I liked Jenna and Jordan, but I kind of like Jenna and Benoit, too.  Jorts and lipstick is not a good look for a man, but I still find him the most attractive man on the island. I wish Clare would show up and tell us what happened.

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7 hours ago, Jaclyn88 said:

I find tia way more annoying than Colton . She has 0 intuition and needs to learn how to play hard to get . She practically begs the guy to be with her every time they're on the screen together . 

Because even though her friends keep blowing smoke up her ass, she's a 6 on a good day, where Colton is a solid 8-9.  Her desperation coats her body like suntan oil, and as she & Raven lamented, she keeps getting treated badly by men.  She obviously attracts shitheads like flies. 

People will treat you the way you allow them to treat you.  Her fault from start to finish.  I have ZERO sympathy for her. 

Edited by leighdear
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I'm in the minority here, but I don't see the appeal of Joe.  He does seem like a super nice, stand-up guy, but I find his face a little....smashed looking.  And his conversation skills are leaning towards meathead-ville.  

Leo is even worse.  Ugh, I was gagging when Kendall was making out with him.  I find his whole persona so gross.

Tia needs to read "He's Just Not That Into You".

Raven looks different.....what is it?  She's lost some of her innocent cuteness.  Botox?  Fillers?  Injections?  Too much brow shaping?

What was the point of flying all these ex-Bachelor people to the island, for 10 seconds of airtime?  For the stupidest nickel romance "story".

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I decided to do something out in fresh air rather than watch last night's episode. Reading here I guess I missed a few things, like maybe five minutes' worth. It's so obvious this year that TPTB are telling each new person who to ask on their date. It's not even interesting. It's like hearing the same knock-knock joke over and over.

I am curious which ex-Bachelor people were brought back though. Was it for Jorge to film a Movie In Paradise? That might have been worth seeing, for five minutes.

Is Raven back "for real" or was she just there as a consultant to Tia, like Becca was brought all the way to Mexico to console Colton? I'm kinda glad I missed that part although I can hear it in my brain: "Bleep, bleep and bleep him."

I do want to know what happened to that Happy Ending of Benoit and Claire. Anyone?

Edited by saber5055
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Pretty sure the producers told Raven to rain on Tia's love parade because she sure read her lines completely and with zero emotion. Now go away Raven, please, forever. 

Jenna was so refreshing in how she put the brakes on Jordan after his blowup the night before and then went out with Benoit without a second thought.  I saw Benoit throughout the whole Winter Games and he is definitely a nicer guy than Jordan, so I'm sure in the end Jenna will pick Jordan.

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I watched Winter Games, and Clare was simply not into Benoit.  While they had some fun and flirtations, he really liked her a lot, and she was just kind of like, he's a great guy, for here.  So at the end, he wanted to stay together, and she said no, which was the right thing for her to do.  But apparently, after the show wrapped, he continued to pursue her, and he wore her down, and he proposed, and she said yes.

I'm not surprised it didn't last.  He lives in Canada, so it would require a move of countries for it to work out.  That's a lot to ask for/do for someone for whom you are only lukewarm for.

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11 hours ago, JenE4 said:

Raven looks different. Lip fillers, maybe? Or maybe because I always get her mixed up with Tia that I expect her to look like Tia. Raven is speaking the truth, but we all know Tia won’t listen, despite the tears. Yep, they’re changing their Facebook status to In a Relationship.

I WAS THINKING THE SAME THING! SHE HAS DEFINATELY HAD SOME INJECTION IN LIPS AND/OR CHEEKS OR SOMETHING....

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I mean Jenna doesn't seem like miss intellectual herself , but I'm not sure how she's supposed to take Jordan seriously . He engages in conversation like a little boy and sure , he might be comical to be around , but that's where the line is drawn . 

He actually looks and reminds me of denis the menace . 

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Leo is perfect for this mess that is BIP. Too bad he's apparently a complete creeper real life because its fun normally to see someone come in and shake things up. 

I cannot stand Raven. 

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9 hours ago, the-grey-lady said:

I can't believe I'm saying this, but the sight of drunk Joe and tipsy Jordan giggling madly was genuinely endearing.

 

I TOTALLY ENJOYED THAT TOO - I AM IN LOVE WITH JOE

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WHAT THE HELL DO THESE GIRLS SEE IN LEO - I MEAN THERE IS NO WAY ALL OF THEM WOULD BE FALLING ALL OVER THEMSELVES FOR HIM - THAT HAIR IS SO GROSS !- DID YOU SEE ALL THE SAND IN IT WHEN HE WAS WITH KENDALL ON THE BEACH. KENDALL IS OFFICIALLY THE BIGGEST DUMB ASS THERE

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5 minutes ago, thesupremediva1 said:

Dude, is Kendall blind? Joe, even being there from day 1, is STILL smokin hot and doesn't look too sweaty. He's disturbingly beautiful, and not in the little-boy china-doll way that Jordan does or the weird Fabio-cover way people associate with Leo. He's a real, tangible, hot guy with a great personality and no need for drama.

I just LOVE Joe. I don't think he could carry The Bachelor because he's not loquacious, but I LOVE him here so much and the shots of him looking heartbroken morphed me into Ms. Right Reasons. DO NOT HURT THIS MAN HE IS TOO PURE FOR THIS WORLD. 

If it's possible, I think Joe has even more goodwill toward him now than he did at the start. This scares me. I don't want him to accrue love and then become Bachelor and pull and Arie and reveal himself as an awful tool-box.

Speaking of Grampa Arie and the Beige Nightmare Fiance, wtf are they doing on my TV again? Please banish them forever. I can't stand Amanda, and I am sick of Cardboard Cutout Ben, but those two could make anyone else palatable by comparison.

Why is Colton getting another date?! Stop trying to make Colton happen, show. And while you're at it, stop trying to make Tia happen.

Was Adam sick? Did Raven drink his blood? They both looked sick and gross. Raven and Tia aren't bad people, but they have no class. Say what you want about Becca being boring, but she couldn't look that trashy if she tried.

I love that everyone loves Joe. He is clearly a cast favorite, and that says a lot. Watching Eric go to bat for him, and Jordan supporting him, did my heart good. And the giggle-fest with Jordan and Joe was my favorite thing that went on this season on any Bach show. I was actually giddy. More Joe, please. Less Leo. And if Leo goes at Joe next week physically, I hope they ask Leo to leave. No one is going to survive a go at Grocer Joe in the court of public opinion.

Leo is every red flag every woman ignores until AFTER he treats them horribly. Joe is actually confident and sincere, which we know by his actions, rather than Jordan and Leo who have to tell people they’re confident and alpha. If you have to tell people you’re alpha, you’re not. 

Idk, maybe this is all just scripted and Kendall is playing her part for ABC. In which case, ABC just reached a new low by promoting Leo as some lethario. I know these people will do anything for fame, but hopefully one of these women speaks up about the position ABC put them in by bringing Leo on this show. 

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9 minutes ago, thesupremediva1 said:

Dude, is Kendall blind?

She's not blind, she's having to come to grips with an epiphany:  she cannot be happy unless she is in Vermont with a guy who owns his own tuba.

I HAVE GOOD NEWS, KENDALL! **quickly eats a Tic Tac**

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Good post, JudyObscure.

Just my opinion based on almost no knowledge of these people....

Besides the fact that Kendall is physically attracted more (I think) to Leo than to Joe, I think Kendall is more of an intellectual than Joe, and she wants to have interesting conversations about various (and I mean various) topics. It's frustrating when that is what really floats your boat and you're not getting it from the guy you're with. I think she is more mentally stimulated by Leo. 

Joe strikes me as being less of a talker and thinker. Oh, he's cute and seems nice enough, and he's not dumb, he runs a business. But I suspect he's the kind of guy who's intellectual musings run more along the lines of "Does it make sense to keep the same produce supplier or try a new one," or "Is it worth the investment to purchase a top-of-the line electric floor cleaner for my store" or "Should or shouldn't the Cubs trade so-and-so, and why?" For some women, that would be perfect

I totally get liking a lot of things about a guy, and wanting him to be "the one," but still feeling like he's missing something I need. 

Edited by adhoc
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I know everybody is hating on Colton, but I've got to defend him just a bit.  Right from the beginning, he's been honest and has told Tia he doesn't know what he wants.  She then proceeds to ask him just for an honest chance just to see where it goes and he agrees to see where it goes.  Now they're actually on date one during the "honest chance" period and she starts demanding what his intentions are and where it's going.  She pretty much forced him to give her a chance and she starts giving him ultimatums.  Granted, he's shown that he probably should not be left to his own devices, but at least he's been honest the whole time.  If it blows up in her face, it's all on her. 

Kendall, Kendall, Kendall.  You do not deserve Joe.  Everything you say you want is literally RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU, yours for the taking.  And one date with that hairy mongoose and you're conflicted.  And it's not even Leo's behavior that's going to cause you to lose Joe, it's your own.   I hope it blows up in your face.

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21 minutes ago, adhoc said:

Besides the fact that Kendall is physically attracted more (I think) to Leo than to Joe, I think Kendall is more of an intellectual than Joe, and she wants to have interesting conversations about various (and I mean various) topics. It's frustrating when that is what really floats your boat and you're not getting it from the guy you're with. I think she is more mentally stimulated by Leo. 

She lit up like a Christmas tree when creepy Leo walked down the stairs so yeah, I guess there was something instant there which is perplexing but it is what it is.   It was never mentioned but she and Leo were talking pre-filming so I think that's why she has been slower with Joe as probably all along she's been waiting for Leo to arrive and test out her pre-show flirtation.   

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I like Kendall a lot.. she's one of the few I follow on Instagram.  I also like Joe a lot.  Not once this season have I had the impression that they are a good match or would make it for one day beyond the confines of Paradise.  Kendall is quirky and wants someone who not only appreciates that, but has their own quirkiness.  Leo, on the surface, seems to fill that uniqueness she's looking for.. I have no doubt she doesn't know about his alleged extra-curricular activities.  Joe just seems to want a sweet, attentive girl (which Kendall is), whom he can laugh with and enjoy life.

I can't figure out if Tia and Colton were already dating, and this whole thing is just a long drawn out dramatic setup they agreed to for more camera time... or if it's really a case of Tia forcing a relationship on Colton.  I think Colton seems like a decent, if immature and basic dude.  But I also agreed with Raven's concern that maybe he's just chasing the spotlight and not the person.  Who knows anymore.  I miss when things seemed more organic.. basically a bunch of 20 and 30 somethings drinking too much and creating their own drama.  I look forward to BIP every summer as just mindless fun, but now it seems SO contrived, and it's sucking my fun out.

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Wow. Y’all are giving Kendall WAAAY too much credit here. She likes Leo because she’s physically attracted to her. That’s it. Maybe she likes other aspects about him now, but she went on the date just because of physical reasons. I’m not sure where this idea of Kendall, the amazing, pure-hearted, intellectual, renaissance woman came from, but I would think her actions now show she’s just as shallow and vapid as everyone else on the show. Arie kept calling her “quirky” on his season, so maybe that’s why she’s considered intellectual. Or maybe it’s because people compare her to Lauren from Arie’s season, who’s as intellectually stimulating as a chair. I never really got all the love for her. She seems somewhat average and normal to me, which I realize makes you stand out in a room full of fools. I just think she gets more credit than what she deserves. 

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I wonder how the ladies will feel when they find out what Leo really is. How safe will you feel then?? AND he had his hands on you and his tongue down your throat. Ewwww

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To me, the funniest line I ever heard from a reality show contestant was Jordan last night.  He said, and I must paraphrase because as funny as I found this, i cannot remember exactly how it went.When Jenna was heading out on her date with Benoit, Jordan stated that he (Benoit) better keep his little French bagette in his shorts. I couldn’t stop laughing at that statement and I am still giggling about it today. 

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Another point about Kendall. Didn’t we hear her repeatedly say on earlier episodes, as new girls were arriving, that she hoped they didn’t go after Joe? Now that Leo is there she thinks Joe should be exploring other options as well? WTH? I continue to think that if one of the guys tried to pull what she did then all the women would be revolting against him and demand he leave because he’s not there for the right reasons. 

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1 hour ago, Stan39 said:

Wow. Y’all are giving Kendall WAAAY too much credit here. She likes Leo because she’s physically attracted to her. That’s it. Maybe she likes other aspects about him now, but she went on the date just because of physical reasons. I’m not sure where this idea of Kendall, the amazing, pure-hearted, intellectual, renaissance woman came from, but I would think her actions now show she’s just as shallow and vapid as everyone else on the show. Arie kept calling her “quirky” on his season, so maybe that’s why she’s considered intellectual. Or maybe it’s because people compare her to Lauren from Arie’s season, who’s as intellectually stimulating as a chair. I never really got all the love for her. She seems somewhat average and normal to me, which I realize makes you stand out in a room full of fools. I just think she gets more credit than what she deserves. 

I don't know if this was directed at me or if my post just happened to fall right before yours in regards to Kendall.  I don't think Kendall is the next member of Mensa or an amazing pure-hearted intellectual.  I just think she is looking for a certain "type" and Joe never struck me as that type.  She, whether you agree or not, projects that she is not into the "ordinary".. taxidermy, ukuleles, picnicking in graveyards.. maybe it's contrived, or maybe she's just different.  My feeling is she's searching for someone who is also different.  Leo ain't it.  I'm sure she already realizes this by now.

I think the way she was quick to accept Leo's date was insensitive to Joe. .but I don't see this as a double standard between the men and the women.  Kenny went on a bunch of dates and kissed 3 women in a night and no one was jumping on him as wrong reasons.  As much as I hated seeing Joe get his feelings hurt, I also did not see all this passion and seriousness between them that would make her accepting another date so egregious.  She probably should have been more up front that she wasn't having serious feelings towards Joe.. but he also should have been more up front that he was having serious feelings. 

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4 hours ago, saber5055 said:

I am curious which ex-Bachelor people were brought back though. Was it for Jorge to film a Movie In Paradise? That might have been worth seeing, for five minutes.

No, it definitely was not worth seeing even for 5 minutes.

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