S05.E03: Week 2: Part 2

[CindyBee]

Do not like Caroline at all.  John would be better off with Analeise

[Mabinogia]

Just now, CindyBee said:

John would be better off with Analeise

Well, I wouldn't go that far! lol Analeise reminds me of Sarah, the one with the amputation, who was always whining about no one wanting her. 

[Stan39]

Just now, CindyBee said:

Do not like Caroline at all.  John would be better off with Analeise

Caroline is immature and has ADD, but Anniliese is psycho. She expects marriage and kids after talking to a guy for more than 5 minutes. 

[ECM1231]

Caroline's th's during her date with John belied her behavior. Poor guy had to keep repeating what he was saying as she kept fixating on the dog and kitty cat nearby.

[In2You]

I didn't even recognize Jublilee but they're right she's looking hotter than ever.

[CindyBee]

2 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

Well, I wouldn't go that far! lol Analeise reminds me of Sarah, the one with the amputation, who was always whining about no one wanting her. 

I forgot to type Just kidding!

[dizzyd]

4 hours of this in 1 week is too much for me, I can feel my brain cells dying. I'm done till next week y'all.

[Ohwell]

I know some people think that Kendall is the most attractive one of the bunch, but for me it's Chelsea and it's mainly because of those gorgeous cheekbones.   

And now Jubilee comes on the scene and I think she's gorgeous, too.  

[Armchair Critic]

2 minutes ago, dizzyd said:

4 hours of this in 1 week is too much for me, I can feel my brain cells dying. I'm done till next week y'all.

I am multi tasking with this in the background. I hate having it 2 nights in a row, it's too much.

[Mabinogia]

I could be into John and Jubilee. They have a nice easy rapport already. 

[saber5055]

3 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

I am multi tasking with this in the background. I hate having it 2 nights in a row, it's too much.

I am multi-tasking too, which means I'm missing a lot which means I not missing much.

I remember Jubilee had a rocking bikini body when she was on whatever season she was on. Then she got sort of ... well, weird. She was a favorite of mine until then. Plus wasn't she in Paradise last year?

[Armchair Critic]

John actually asks the person questions about themself. I like him with Jubilee.

1 minute ago, saber5055 said:

Then she got sort of ... well, weird. She was a favorite of mine until then. Plus wasn't she in Paradise last year?

Oh crap, that is her. EEK then I change my mind and John should probably run..........

[Mabinogia]

I'm officially in love with John. 

I am really worried I'm going to get my heart broken because John and Jubilee are my favorite couple ever already. 

[saber5055]

Okay, I'm in love with Venmo Jon and Jubilee. Gotta love a nerd couple.

[CindyBee]

All right lurking Fleiss minions, you need to make Venmo John the next Bachelor!

[Ohwell]

I hate those false eyelashes on Jubilee, she doesn't need them.  I wish some of these women would just stick to mascara.

[saber5055]

2 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

Oh crap, that is her. EEK then I change my mind and John should probably run..........

Yeah, run right to my house. I'll volunteer to save him.

[jackjill89]

7 minutes ago, Mabinogia said:

I could be into John and Jubilee. They have a nice easy rapport already. 

Agree! They are super cute together. I like Jubilee with him. They are chill nerds. Venmo John seems like a really great guy.

[Ohwell]

I'll be crushed (and pissed) if John doesn't give Jubilee a rose.

[saber5055]

All of a sudden I'm loving this show again, thanks to Venmo and Jubilee.

I know Flleiss is going to ruin it soon though, I just KNOW it.

[Ohwell]

9 minutes ago, saber5055 said:

Then she got sort of ... well, weird

I think I remember something about Jubilee that wasn't good.  Maybe she changed?

[Mu Shu]

1 minute ago, Ohwell said:

I hate those false eyelashes on Jubilee, she doesn't need them.  I wish some of these women would just stick to mascara.

If she’s there for awhile, the 10 pounds of hair is going to look nuts. 

Humidity plus someone else’s hair is a bad combo.  Looks at that crap on Tias head already.  Has to pull it up in a dog turd bun

[CindyBee]

All these girls here and Kenny is going for Krystal!?!

[In2You]

8 minutes ago, Armchair Critic said:

John actually asks the person questions about themself. I like him with Jubilee.

Oh crap, that is her. EEK then I change my mind and John should probably run..........

She was not on Paradise last year. That was two years ago. Jasmine was on Paradise last year. They don't even look alike.

[Armchair Critic]

Yup Kenny, you have been friend zoned.

1 minute ago, In2You said:

She was not on Paradise last year. That was two years ago. Jasmine was on Paradise last year. They don't even look alike

I realize that but remember back when Jubilee was on Paradise I ended up not liking her.

[Mabinogia]

I'd say poor Kenny but he can do a lot better. 

Tia ended things with Colton? Wait, did I miss more than I thought? I thought Colton really had little interest in being stuck with Tia and wanted to see other people. 

[Stan39]

1 minute ago, CindyBee said:

All these girls here and Kenny is going for Krystal!?!

Didn’t he say he didn’t see her on Arie’s season? If I had no prior knowledge of Krystal and she acted like she has on this show I’d be into her. I hate to say it, but she’s the most attractive girl there. 

[jackjill89]

For about 1 minute I actually thought I liked Krystal... then she friend-zoned Kenny. 

Kenny dodged a bullet. 

[Ohwell]

Kenny just referenced Who Moved My Cheese?  I love him even more now.

[Mabinogia]

This cheese conversation is probably the most insightful thing that has ever been said on this show. 

[saber5055]

2 minutes ago, In2You said:

They don't even look alike.

LOL! I forget everyone's name much less what they look like the minute they step into the Limo of Shame for that ride to the airport.

[hippydoo]

Chris's conversations are 90% "like" ugh

[CindyBee]

See this show can be fun again when they allow other people on it.  

Oh Krystal you've been dying to be with Chris only cause he's with Tia.    

[Mu Shu]

maybe Amber will show up next.

poor Anneliese is looking a little scraggly out there.  Poor dumb thing, go grab some cheese. 

[alexa]

I have to say this rendition of BIP has been fairly interesting. I usually get really bored but the relationship change ups have been better than usual. Often everyone is coupled up awkwardly to just stay on the show. I think the changes are more natural and how it should be in paradise. 

[CindyBee]

Colton being the tattle tale is not a good look but makes for good TV.

[saber5055]

Man, Tia's got a real potty mouth. If she's cusses a blue streak when she's being filmed for national television, what's she like IRL.

Gah. i don't want to know.

Now I foresee Colton giving a rose to Tia. Just when we thought that crap was over.

[rlc]

Who told ‘Goose’ that bandanna is cool? Cause it’s not.

[EllenB]

I could feel some of my brain cells fizzing out and committing suicide while Chris and Jordan were talking.  That's more stupidity than I can take.

Why would any woman be attracted to Chris?  He's dumb and ugly and lacks any charm.

Edited August 15, 2018 by EllenB
Fizzed out brain cells let me down.

[CindyBee]

That outtake with Kendall and Joe was adorable.

So basically I like Joe, Kendall, Jubilee and John.  And Bibiana can be the narrator of their coupledom.

2 minutes ago, rlc said:

Who told ‘Goose’ that bandanna is cool? Cause it’s not.

Someone that obviously hates him

[rebel2u]

I so wanted Annaliese to scream at Jordan, "No, I won't be your sloppy seconds!!!!"

[ECM1231]

18 minutes ago, Ohwell said:

Kenny just referenced Who Moved My Cheese?  I love him even more now.

You piqued my interest and had to Google. Had not heard of this book. Kenny and Eric's convo was so funny and I at first thought they came up with it on the spot. But yeah kudos to both for their literary reference.  And on a shallow note... Eric is way hotter bearded!!!

[Stats Queen]

I’m like an hour behind but David’s obsession with Jordan is disturbing to say the least. 

[kazza]

51 minutes ago, CindyBee said:

All right lurking Fleiss minions, you need to make Venmo John the next Bachelor!

Seriously. He would be the first actually great catch they've had in a long time. 

Venmo John: "I wrote the Venmo app."

Jubilee: "What are you DOING here"

Edited August 15, 2018 by kazza

[chocolatine]

1 hour ago, Ohwell said:

I think I remember something about Jubilee that wasn't good.

She spit out caviar on her 1:1 date on Ben's season. I'm Russian and I take caviar - and good table manners - very seriously. She does seem like a genuine person though, and if she and John really hit it off, then good for them. Caroline was a bit of a needy shit-stirrer on Arie's TWTA, so I don't think she and John are a good match. But I'm glad that John is finally getting the appreciation he deserves.

Krystal is really playing the field, isn't she? Made out with three guys in three episodes, with minimal drama. That's what Paradise should be about. I also love that Kenny, while disappointed at first, shrugged it off and moved on. Tia, take note!

50 minutes ago, kazza said:

Seriously. He would be the first actually great catch they've had in a long time. 

Venmo John: "I wrote the Venmo app."

Jubilee: "What are you DOING here"

 

Not saying that John isn't a catch, but I don't think that him having worked at Venmo necessarily means that he's rich:

- Venmo was founded in 2009, and John said he joined after college. He's 28 now, so assuming he graduated six or seven ears ago, he wasn't an early-stage employee - those are the ones who get significant equity stakes.

- He said he worked on the mobile app for Venmo, which is just a front-end, not the business logic, ie. not the innovative part. I'm sure he's a competent software developer, but he's not a genius who invented the concept.

- He said he left Venmo. Most equity deals vest over three or four years with a one year cliff, so if he was there for less than four years, he didn't get all of his shares/options, and if he was there less than a year, he didn't get any.

- Venmo was acquired in 2012 for $26M. That's a very small amount for a tech acquisition. The majority of that money went to the investors and cofounders. In the best case scenario, the employee pool was around 15-20% of the total shares, and that was divvied up among all of the vested employees. John probably made a low six-figure sum, at most. That's barely enough for a down payment on a small condo in SF. 

Edited August 15, 2018 by chocolatine

[clubsauce]

At certain angles you can see people literally(™️) dripping with sweat. Even at night! I couldn’t function like that. Unless I’m running, if I am that hot and sweaty I can’t even hold a conversation. And kissing like that???? Seriously, NO ONE TOUCH ME!

[Riplet68]

What’s with these girls saying the guy they knew all of 2 minutes is their one. The whole, “deep connection” thing just baffles me.  Now Jordan and Jenna?  He obviously found her rally amazing when she walked in. Him getting all blushy when she first talked to him was adorable.  I give him kudos for being honest with stage 1 needy chick, but jeez!  Telling her to stick around just in case?  Harsh much?

loved Kenny’s and Eric’s cheese talk.  Couldn’t tell if Jordan was Joking with chris about the different courses talk, but Chris was taking it seriously.  David just needs to leave.

this was one of the more fun BIPs I’ve seen. I’ve only seen 3 seasons 

[TiredMe]

Jesus that cheese conversation between Eric and Kenny made my brain hurt. Although the next time I’m dating someone I’m going to have to compare it to cheese while discussing with friends.

Chris’ bandana is hilarious. I kept thinking he was Johnny from the Cobra Kai! (Only brunette)

[nutty1]

I love Joe and Kendall. Yet I could get behind him being the next Bachelor. 

I didn’t even recognize Jubilee. She’s really pretty. 

Chelsea is also stunning. Has she even shown interest in any of these guys?

[jackjill89]

Chris went after Colton and said he was playing Tia, not here for the right reasons, not ready, not this, not that...because he is the mayor of paradise. Said mayor then turns around and does EXACTLY what he accused Colton of doing, which Colton didn't do. 

He really thinks he's something special, but he isn't that cute and is a total douche. While I don't like Tia, I want her to rip him to shreds. The talk with Jordan, calling himself the goose...he's a playa that has no game.  He needs to go now.